Latest / Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute / 57: The Somatic Wake-Up Call

Transcript

57: The Somatic Wake-Up Call · Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

• 0:00
  Hey everybody, I got a question for you.
• 0:02
  Have you ever done everything in your recovery that somebody told
• 0:06
  you to do? Like you attended all the
• 0:07
  groups, you read the books, you followed the plan and you still
• 0:12
  feel like something was missing? Or maybe somebody that you love
• 0:14
  is telling you that you're missing stuff?
• 0:16
  You're like, I'm still feel like I'm stuck here.
• 0:19
  So that's what we're going to talk about today, and I am very
• 0:22
  excited because Alan is going to be joining us.
• 0:27
  Welcome to Beyond the Facade podcast.
• 0:29
  I'm your host, Luke Gordon, and I'm thrilled to have you join me
• 0:32
  in this space today. What we're going to be doing is
• 0:34
  diving deep into the trials and triumphs and truths of seeking
• 0:38
  authenticity. Becoming your true self isn't
• 0:40
  about a single action or a moment.
• 0:42
  It's a relentless pursuit, a commitment to self that reveals
• 0:46
  a rich connection and meaning that our life has to offer.
• 0:49
  So whether this is your first time tuning in or you're a
• 0:51
  regular listener, know this. What you're building here goes
• 0:55
  beyond a conversation. You're here to challenge, to
• 0:57
  change, and to celebrate the incredible journey of becoming
• 1:01
  your authentic self. Because when you dare to show up
• 1:03
  fully, the rewards are immeasurable.
• 1:05
  So welcome to Beyond the Facade. Let's get started.
• 1:10
  All right, Welcome, Alana. Thank you for coming.
• 1:12
  Thanks for joining me. I'm so glad that you're here for
• 1:14
  this one because it's one of the things that I know I've valued.
• 1:18
  You shared a lot with me, especially encouraged me in my
• 1:21
  recovery to tackle. So anyway, glad you're here.
• 1:24
  Thank you. And I'll just let y'all a little
• 1:27
  bit behind the curtain. Luke and I sat down to record
• 1:30
  this morning and he had told me this topic previously and then
• 1:34
  when we sat down, he brought up a totally different topic.
• 1:37
  And I was like, whoa, hold on, that's not the topic.
• 1:41
  And neither of us could remember what the topic was other than we
• 1:45
  both were really passionate about it.
• 1:47
  And so luckily, Luke, you found the topic because this topic, I
• 1:55
  think of anything right now that I'm passionate about, this
• 1:59
  probably is top of the list because I see it one of the
• 2:03
  biggest areas that people are skipping over.
• 2:07
  And I don't think it's for some, it's a skipping over because
• 2:10
  it's uncomfortable. But I think for most people,
• 2:13
  they just don't even realize how important it is and that it is a
• 2:17
  missing piece. So the fact that we're covering
• 2:20
  this today is pretty fun. And I think when it when you
• 2:23
  hear it, I just I hope that when you hear it, it's maybe not an
• 2:27
  experience that I had, which is. Oh, yeah, of course I know that.
• 2:30
  I mean, like, yeah, that makes sense.
• 2:31
  And but really the same things occur.
• 2:34
  Like it's still a checklist of other things to do.
• 2:37
  So hopefully it's different. OK.
• 2:39
  So that that you would have already seen it when you clicked
• 2:41
  on the episode. But we're talking about this as
• 2:43
  being the missing link in a lot of men's journeys and people
• 2:47
  experience compulsive behavior. Our listeners here, by the way,
• 2:51
  Alana, did you know that like half of the listeners here, like
• 2:54
  48% of them are partners? Oh well, that's awesome.
• 2:58
  I know it's really. Good, but hello to all of my
• 3:01
  partners. Yeah, but I think that's why it
• 3:04
  brings me a lot of comfort when you come here, so they get a
• 3:06
  chance to hear your experience too, your professional
• 3:09
  experience. OK, so anyway, let me jump into
• 3:11
  it. I'm going to share a little bit
• 3:13
  my personal story leading into this.
• 3:16
  OK, so I'm a checklist kind of guy on and I laugh at it, but
• 3:19
  we've referred to it as my tism. OK, my my innate ability to
• 3:24
  organize, compartmentalize, create checklists.
• 3:29
  And man, when I went to work in recovery, the I found the
• 3:32
  checklist and I went after it. So what groups, books, all the
• 3:36
  tasks, all the tools going after them.
• 3:38
  And there's a lot of other worked really, really well, but
• 3:41
  there was so much effort that was put in that some things
• 3:45
  still didn't shift inside of me. There was some still some stuff
• 3:48
  that was leaving me disconnected specifically for myself.
• 3:52
  So we're going to get into that. And you ever heard that phrase,
• 3:55
  you don't know what you don't know?
• 3:56
  That was me. I didn't know what I didn't
• 3:58
  know. So I assumed the healing was
• 4:02
  more about something other than the feeling portion of it not
• 4:06
  feeling more because I heard a million times like emotions.
• 4:09
  Like, yeah, I think I was more, and a lot of you could speak to
• 4:12
  this, but I would say I was more emotionally in tune with people
• 4:15
  around me. But what I lacked was my ability
• 4:18
  to be able to know what was happening inside of me.
• 4:20
  And that's what we're going to talk about today.
• 4:22
  So there's the. Yeah, it's interesting because
• 4:26
  you were very aware of other people's emotions, but it was
• 4:32
  almost through the lens of how do you read their emotions so
• 4:36
  you can protect yourself. And so it wasn't a going deeper
• 4:40
  internally within you. And so there was a big
• 4:43
  disconnect from your feelings. But it's more than just
• 4:46
  feelings. What's coming to mind is I
• 4:48
  remember at a CISA symposium, I don't know, four or five years
• 4:52
  ago, there was a speaker and he talked about left brain healing
• 4:57
  and right brain healing and how they're different.
• 4:59
  And so often we come into recovery with this, like you
• 5:04
  said, the cognitive, the analytical, the checklist.
• 5:07
  OK, I need to do this and I need to say this.
• 5:10
  And for my partner to heal, I need to show up in these ways.
• 5:13
  And so it's very analytical. And that's a lot of left brain
• 5:16
  healing. Yet you also have to do the
• 5:20
  right brain healing, which is through more of the emotions.
• 5:23
  But right brain healing is so much deeper than just emotions
• 5:27
  because it goes into the amygdala, it goes into your
• 5:31
  window of tolerance. And then you also have the body
• 5:34
  healing where things that have been stored in your body at a
• 5:38
  cellular level that we have to do the healing there.
• 5:41
  And so if we spend all of our time in the cognitive or
• 5:46
  analytical healing, which is where it feel the most
• 5:48
  comfortable, we can only go so far.
• 5:52
  Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Can we pause right there and can
• 5:57
  we just focus in and highlight something you just said?
• 6:00
  It feels more comfortable because nothing about recovery
• 6:03
  feels comfortable. Can you talk about that?
• 6:07
  Yeah, it is more comfortable to hear about something and learn
• 6:11
  about something and be able to take the notes and be able to
• 6:14
  produce the information right. To have the right answer feels
• 6:18
  good. And I use a right answer really
• 6:22
  loosely because nothing's right or wrong, but to be able to
• 6:26
  produce the information feels good, that feels comfortable.
• 6:31
  And how many times have you been able to go and say, here's the
• 6:35
  right answer? But when you get emotionally
• 6:37
  hijacked, when you get triggered, when you get outside
• 6:42
  of your window of tolerance, how well are you able to access that
• 6:46
  information? How many times do you know the
• 6:48
  right answer and you still find yourself acting outside of your
• 6:52
  values, or getting emotionally spun, or still emotionally
• 6:59
  letting those emotions run you over?
• 7:01
  Yeah, yeah. OK, that's good.
• 7:05
  OK, so I'm blank hesitating doing this, but as a part of my
• 7:08
  personal story, I was about to list to you types of somatic
• 7:12
  work that I did because we're calling this is somatic work
• 7:15
  that we're referring to right now.
• 7:16
  I was about to list them Alana and I'm going to, but I'm like
• 7:20
  all of a sudden it's like it's going to be a checklist, right.
• 7:22
  So I'm kind of like talking about a checklist right now, but
• 7:25
  let me just tell you what started the what really turned
• 7:28
  some things for me. Or can I, can I slow you down
• 7:31
  really quick? Yeah.
• 7:33
  Can you share the reason why you even saw the need to start
• 7:40
  adding in somatic? Because that didn't come until
• 7:42
  you were like, I don't know, 8-9 years into recovery.
• 7:50
  So why did you even feel the need to add it?
• 7:54
  I feel like this is a podcast within itself, so I'll make a
• 7:56
  brief and then a lot and we can talk about what you think we
• 7:59
  should be spending more time talking about if you're thinking
• 8:01
  one of them. But what I noticed was, is there
• 8:04
  was this experience of noticing that I needed to value myself
• 8:11
  and respect myself. And every time I did value and
• 8:18
  respect myself and I had to get bound read, I lost the ability
• 8:24
  to be able to have empathy and compassion for another person.
• 8:28
  And and what I recognized my body was screaming at me because
• 8:34
  it didn't know how to value myself and value somebody else
• 8:40
  at the same time. And that had everything to do
• 8:42
  with the trauma that was stored in my body.
• 8:45
  So is that does that is you think that was clear enough,
• 8:48
  Alana? Well it's your truth, right?
• 8:52
  So I didn't know how to value myself and value another person
• 8:55
  at the same time because I still had so much unhealed trauma and
• 8:59
  so many unhealed pieces that were stored deeper in my body
• 9:03
  then what the cognitive learning was able to access.
• 9:06
  I was still struggling. And then to be more specific,
• 9:08
  you're like Luke, that's still really vague.
• 9:10
  Give us an example. I was struggling with being
• 9:12
  honest. I was struggling with the fear
• 9:15
  connected to honesty, which was a betrayal of self really, just
• 9:20
  overly consumed still years and years later of letting go of the
• 9:25
  outcome. So I wanted to be is like Luke,
• 9:28
  you know, if you're honest with people and you're honest with
• 9:30
  stuff, like it works out, right? You know that you're going to be
• 9:33
  OK if you're honest. My body could not sense that,
• 9:37
  right? Could not sense that.
• 9:39
  It was like, it was like, I don't think I'll ever get this
• 9:42
  right. I think it'll always just be
• 9:44
  overwhelming and intense. So yeah, that's what that's what
• 9:49
  led me into the strange. So that was a respect for self
• 9:51
  was is like, I respect myself enough to be real with people.
• 9:54
  That's not for other people. That's for me.
• 9:56
  But here's the deal. Often before it would have been
• 10:01
  OK. It would have been being honest
• 10:04
  was such a thing for me that I had a hard time seeing somebody
• 10:09
  else in that. And I couldn't hold space for
• 10:11
  two people, so I had to pick one or the other.
• 10:15
  Can I highlight some things that I think people will relate to
• 10:19
  that I'm hearing kind of between the lines with what you're
• 10:22
  saying? You said that the feelings were
• 10:26
  really overwhelming and intense. And so if you're listening to
• 10:31
  this and you find yourself when I'm in the middle of conflict,
• 10:36
  it's really overwhelming and intense.
• 10:39
  When my partner has a trigger and they come at me and I shut
• 10:46
  down because it's overwhelming and intense.
• 10:49
  When I'm struggling to be honest, because every part of my
• 10:52
  body is screaming. I can't do this or every part of
• 10:55
  my body is screaming to self protect.
• 10:58
  Even people pleasing, no matter how hard I try, I can't stop
• 11:02
  people pleasing. These are all signs to somebody
• 11:06
  that your body has deeper stuff in it that's going to need some
• 11:12
  healing. And so I say that because I
• 11:14
  think there's a lot of individuals and I think you're
• 11:17
  this podcast is for geared towards men, right?
• 11:21
  OK, I just before I genderize, I want to make sure.
• 11:24
  But I think that there are, I think that there's a lot of men
• 11:28
  out there who so desperately want to show up for their
• 11:32
  partner. And then as soon as their
• 11:33
  partner gets big feelings, their own deeper childhood wounds and
• 11:38
  their own deeper traumas and stuff come blaring up and become
• 11:43
  so big that they can't see their wife anymore because of their
• 11:47
  own stuff becoming so big and activated.
• 11:50
  That's a really good sign that you need to do this deeper work.
• 11:54
  And I love, Luke, that you are being vulnerable enough to
• 11:57
  explain why you needed a deeper level of work, because I think
• 12:01
  that so many people can relate to that.
• 12:04
  Yeah, yeah. And it's it's fine.
• 12:06
  It was interesting because that didn't, that's not even I just I
• 12:11
  value the work that I've done because even on a podcast
• 12:13
  leading the groups that I do or the leading the clients that are
• 12:16
  listening to this and hearing the partners go, wait, Luke's
• 12:19
  talking about honesty. This guy's like leading stuff.
• 12:21
  I'm like, I just value everybody how that impacts them, that
• 12:26
  information, right? Allowing it to work inside of
• 12:29
  you and go, wait, what's he talking about here?
• 12:31
  What how does that disrupt my bolt and what I believe about
• 12:34
  recovery? And I just want a little
• 12:36
  compassion for that. Who knows what this is means for
• 12:38
  you, what we're talking about, who knows how many years you're
• 12:41
  into recovery and and what it brings up for you.
• 12:43
  It's all good. It's all appropriate.
• 12:45
  I guess I should say. We're going to take a quick
• 12:49
  break for a moment. I want to let you know of some
• 12:50
  things that we have coming up at True Recovery Services.
• 12:55
  Hey friends, it's Hallie Roderick here and I wanted to
• 12:58
  personally invite you to an incredible opportunity coming up
• 13:01
  this summer from July 8th to 11th.
• 13:03
  Luke Gordon and I will be Co facilitating a Help Her Heal
• 13:06
  intensive for men in Spanish Fork, UT.
• 13:09
  And if you're a man who's serious about rebuilding trust,
• 13:12
  creating emotional safety, and doing the deep work of repair
• 13:15
  after betrayal, this space is created specifically for you.
• 13:19
  This four day intensive is not a lecture series.
• 13:22
  It's a deeply experiential process designed to help you
• 13:25
  feel the shift, not just understand it intellectually.
• 13:29
  Together, we'll explore powerful tools and practices to help you
• 13:32
  develop real empathy, shame, resiliency, and a clear
• 13:36
  understanding of betrayal trauma so you can begin to show up as a
• 13:39
  safe, trustworthy partner again. You'll also have the opportunity
• 13:43
  to connect with other men who are on the same path.
• 13:47
  Men also committed to growth their integrity, doing the hard
• 13:51
  work, and the beautiful work of relationship repair.
• 13:54
  So whether you're just beginning this process or you're well on
• 13:56
  your way, this intensive can be a powerful next step in your
• 14:00
  journey towards healing. So if you're ready to move
• 14:02
  forward, we'd love to have you join us.
• 14:05
  So to learn more or to reserve your spot, check out the show
• 14:09
  notes where you'll find a link to reach out to our office.
• 14:12
  So let's do this work together. Hope to see you in Utah.
• 14:16
  Let's get back to our episode and jump back to this part,
• 14:20
  Alana. So what it did was it opened up
• 14:22
  a new dimension of healing. OK, so that here's the part
• 14:25
  there. There's a lot of vulnerabilities
• 14:27
  is I give the checklist. I just want you to just notice
• 14:29
  what comes up if I give like the different types of modalities I
• 14:32
  used to attend to the trauma that was stored inside my body.
• 14:36
  And Luke's checklist is not necessarily your checklist.
• 14:40
  There's there's hundreds of different ways we can.
• 14:43
  Do. This type of work.
• 14:45
  Yeah, yeah. So parts work.
• 14:49
  Oh my gosh, I am. There's a part of me that has a
• 14:53
  lot of anger towards why was this not introduced earlier?
• 14:56
  Like goodness gracious to not know this concept and it's, you
• 15:01
  know, it's a concept on our brains.
• 15:02
  But I so important to me some energy work with the Kelly.
• 15:06
  She's a she works at our office space and she was able to do
• 15:09
  some energy work on the trauma that I had experienced.
• 15:13
  And then the other one was ketamine.
• 15:14
  So that was also a big one for me because I was able to access
• 15:18
  parts of my brain that we couldn't access before in a
• 15:21
  different way than I'd ever done before.
• 15:23
  So, you know, and I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm blue collar.
• 15:26
  Like I come from loggers and farmers and diesel mechanics.
• 15:30
  Even with all the recovery they did, I was like, how is this
• 15:33
  going to make a difference? The psycho education makes more
• 15:36
  sense. But I had to get to the trauma
• 15:38
  and these modalities. They got there, they got there.
• 15:42
  OK, yeah. And I'm going to say something
• 15:46
  really obvious, but I think it's good to break this down, but was
• 15:50
  there any magic pill like doing the ketamine in doing the parts
• 15:56
  work, in working with Kelly or any of those?
• 16:00
  Like OK, did this and like could like.
• 16:02
  Now I'm better. No, not at all.
• 16:06
  Not at all. Because it's layers, right?
• 16:10
  And you don't get a pill off layers with a pill, like with
• 16:13
  one thing, it has to come a little bit at a time.
• 16:16
  So I had to do all that other work before I could do this work
• 16:19
  right? Well, and I'll just say, like
• 16:21
  ketamine in particular, I've done an episode on my podcast
• 16:25
  about ketamine, but ketamine doesn't magically fix anybody.
• 16:28
  And if somebody's not already doing other work and you do
• 16:32
  ketamine with a trained professional, OK, And we're not
• 16:35
  talking about the street drug. If you are not doing integrative
• 16:40
  work before, during and after, then you're just going on a
• 16:43
  trip. You're just having a journey.
• 16:46
  And if you are actually doing work before, during and after
• 16:51
  and integrating, then it takes a synopsis in the brains and it
• 16:55
  helps them fire and wire together stronger.
• 16:59
  And so it can aid in the healing, but it is not healing
• 17:02
  in another by itself. Yeah, and that's it.
• 17:05
  And that's why we just said this is Luke's experience, this is
• 17:08
  what Luke did, This is his list. It's not yours.
• 17:12
  All we're trying to get to is their knees.
• 17:13
  There's a process to get to trauma and stored inside the
• 17:16
  body. There's modalities for it.
• 17:18
  So you explore it and we'll talk about that.
• 17:20
  We'll talk about that. The one you did not mention that
• 17:23
  I saw you pick up and do regularly has been meditation.
• 17:28
  Oh, OK. Yeah, of course.
• 17:30
  Yeah, absolutely. Mindfulness.
• 17:32
  Oh my gosh, right. Mindfulness.
• 17:35
  Absolutely. I'm blown away with what that
• 17:38
  would do for me, does for me on a daily basis.
• 17:42
  Let's talk a little bit about what happens when we don't do
• 17:44
  somatic work. All right?
• 17:45
  So what I can watch for and what I can notice is if I don't do
• 17:48
  it, I'm going to feel numb. I'm going to feel like stuck.
• 17:52
  I'm going to have a hard time. And probably the best way to
• 17:56
  articulate or explain that or paint a picture is I find myself
• 18:01
  still disconnected from other people and myself.
• 18:04
  Like, I can't really access what's happening inside my body.
• 18:07
  Where is it feel? Where do I feel it at?
• 18:09
  And also, how am I responding to what's going on around me?
• 18:14
  Like, I can notice that, I can see that.
• 18:16
  Alan, you want to speak to that at all?
• 18:19
  Yeah, well, what comes to mind naturally because of what I do
• 18:22
  is the partner. Like, how many times do I hear a
• 18:26
  partner go, I can't reach you or like, you're here, but it
• 18:30
  doesn't feel like you're here. And so sometimes when I'm
• 18:33
  working with a man, he doesn't even know how disconnected or
• 18:37
  numb he is because that has been there for so long that it's
• 18:41
  become the normal. So if you're listening to Luke
• 18:43
  and you're like, feelings in my body, what does that even mean?
• 18:45
  I don't like, you feel it everywhere or I feel it nowhere.
• 18:49
  OK. That tells us that we actually
• 18:52
  have probably a lot of opportunity in this area to
• 18:58
  grow. But if that's where you are
• 19:01
  letting your partner let you know what they're seeing and the
• 19:06
  level of disconnect, are they constantly saying you've seen
• 19:09
  off and you're going, what are you talking about?
• 19:13
  Right? Those could be things that can
• 19:15
  help you see this numbness or the stuckness.
• 19:20
  Sometimes it's easier to see it outside of us before we can see
• 19:24
  it internally if we haven't done this type of work yet.
• 19:28
  Yeah, and that's going back to the partner one.
• 19:32
  If I feel stuck in a script, like it doesn't feel authentic
• 19:34
  and it doesn't feel me, it's usually I'm just completely
• 19:37
  analytical minds, my brains not attached to my heart.
• 19:41
  It's a script that's a part of when I don't do the somatic
• 19:45
  work. You know, really quick.
• 19:48
  It's interesting because you think of the human body, OK,
• 19:52
  just everyone imagine in your head just a whole human.
• 19:56
  And so often we like cut the human off at the neck and we
• 20:01
  basically run around with just the heads and trying to do all
• 20:04
  of life with the head is. That funny visual.
• 20:07
  Yeah, but I mean, like we're you, we're trying to use the
• 20:10
  brain, but the reality is, is we have a head brain, we have a
• 20:14
  heart brain, we have a gut brain.
• 20:16
  The head brain is to gather information and sort through it.
• 20:20
  It's good. We don't want to throw away the
• 20:21
  head. That left side analytical
• 20:25
  thinking is really valuable. But then we also have the heart
• 20:29
  brain, which is our emotions and our emotions give us so much
• 20:32
  information. And then we have that stomach
• 20:35
  brain, our intuition, our values.
• 20:38
  And if think about that, if we throw away our intuition, we
• 20:41
  throw away our values or we've never accessed them, like how
• 20:45
  much you're missing. So through emotions and through
• 20:49
  that intuition, through the values, through the gut, we
• 20:53
  cannot only use our brain, we have to use the three brains.
• 20:57
  And that gathering information should only be a small
• 21:01
  percentage of the decision making we make in our lives
• 21:06
  should also be based through emotion, through intuition,
• 21:09
  through values. Yeah, I like that.
• 21:12
  So what's some of the other things?
• 21:14
  When men don't do the somatic work, there's a big risk of
• 21:17
  relapse or emotional shutdown. I don't do my somatic work
• 21:23
  because it's not about not acting outside my values right
• 21:26
  before I do, it's way before I do.
• 21:28
  So I have to know what's going outside my body because that's
• 21:31
  the only way I'll be able to sense that I'm headed down the
• 21:33
  road that I shouldn't be, or that I've said that I won't go
• 21:36
  down again. Yeah, because there's a million
• 21:39
  choice points that happen before somebody goes back and has a
• 21:43
  slip or a relapse. And a lot of times I'll hear
• 21:46
  people say like, I don't know how that happened.
• 21:49
  And so when we really look at it, there's so many different
• 21:54
  places where a choice point is where you get to a place where I
• 21:57
  can choose to go left or go right, or really there's fifty
• 22:01
  different paths in front of me. There's an there is thousands of
• 22:05
  choice points that got us to the point before we get to the place
• 22:08
  of acting out and more. We can do this type of work.
• 22:13
  It a, like you said, brings more awareness and more clarity and
• 22:17
  more understanding, but also when we're when we've healed
• 22:20
  those wounded parts, those wounded parts aren't grabbing
• 22:23
  the wheel and driving the car as much.
• 22:25
  Yeah, that that's I I love that analogy.
• 22:29
  I'm speaking on behalf of partners, and if this as a
• 22:33
  partner doesn't resonate with you, then by all means tell your
• 22:37
  significant other. But generally speaking, on
• 22:41
  behalf of partners, they want nothing more than whole and
• 22:45
  complete healing. They want their relationship to
• 22:50
  work. They want you to be healed, they
• 22:52
  want the relationship to heal. And so a lot of times they're
• 22:57
  hoping and praying you'll do this work.
• 22:59
  And sometimes this work gets passed off as like women's work.
• 23:05
  Or woo woo. Or just like, weird, but nothing
• 23:10
  like there's so much science to back up that this works and it
• 23:14
  makes a difference and it's essential for your healing.
• 23:17
  So a lot of times partners are just banging and pleading and
• 23:21
  hoping that this holistic work will be done.
• 23:26
  Yeah, thank you for saying that. So we have a call to action for
• 23:31
  you. But before we do, I'd like to
• 23:33
  tell you a little bit about Choose Recovery Services mission
• 23:36
  is it's been very rewarding and painful, our own journeys, but
• 23:41
  also being a part of others where we watch people do all of
• 23:45
  the work right and still feel stuck along.
• 23:49
  You've talked about being passionate about this lately,
• 23:51
  and I think this has been for a bit now, but we want to provide
• 23:55
  more opportunities for a normalized men's experience with
• 24:00
  the different ways to go about somatic healing.
• 24:02
  So we've created and we're not here to sell you an intensive
• 24:06
  because we often bring it up. We're just providing that
• 24:08
  opportunity for things resonate to explore more, which is we do
• 24:12
  have individual intensives that are going to expose you to those
• 24:15
  different modalities, but just more of an exploration thing to,
• 24:19
  to be able to get unstuck in these areas because you deserve
• 24:22
  it. You've been working on recovery
• 24:23
  for a long time. Your partner deserves a
• 24:25
  connected you. You deserve a connected you.
• 24:28
  And if you put this much energy in this effort and don't stop.
• 24:31
  And what we'll do is we'll have you take that experience home
• 24:34
  with you. So give you the tools here and
• 24:37
  allow a new connection to yourself and take those pieces
• 24:41
  home. I'll.
• 24:42
  Just add to that, Luke, we don't have a scarcity mindset.
• 24:46
  So if somebody comes and says hey, Lana.
• 24:49
  Course. I, I live in Florida, you're
• 24:52
  based out of Utah. I can't come out for an
• 24:54
  intensive, but what can I do here?
• 24:57
  I'll say, OK, here's some different people go do some
• 25:00
  consults with. There's some things I'd
• 25:01
  recommend locally. And we don't care where you get
• 25:05
  the healing, just that you get the healing.
• 25:07
  So if that would be valuable to you, reach out like get them,
• 25:13
  get on one of our calendars and we'll tell you where to get that
• 25:16
  help locally or if you can come out for an intensive.
• 25:19
  And just like you said, Lou, we shove a ton of therapy and
• 25:24
  services in a short amount of time, but then we send you home
• 25:27
  with a plan of OK, when you get home.
• 25:30
  This is how you can keep this going.
• 25:33
  Yeah, thanks for saying that. I just want to echo that.
• 25:36
  Not mansplain it, Alana, but echo it, right?
• 25:39
  Yeah, that's so true. It doesn't matter.
• 25:41
  That's what my therapist told me to begin with.
• 25:43
  He's like, Luke, I don't care where you get support.
• 25:44
  I don't care you get help. I just want you to get the help
• 25:46
  you need so you can not repeat these patterns.
• 25:48
  So that is our heart. So hopefully you hear that
• 25:51
  because that's what matters to us.
• 25:53
  Well, and can I say for the women, same thing, right?
• 25:56
  We do intensives for men, women, couples, all of that.
• 26:00
  And we do have an honest and actual somatic intensive for
• 26:04
  women. We've done it a couple of times
• 26:06
  and every time we do it, the amount of what's the word I'm
• 26:10
  looking for like the jump that it gives them because you get so
• 26:15
  much therapy and a short amount of time it.
• 26:19
  I've had other coaches and therapists come back to me and
• 26:21
  go, I don't know what you did, but my client has gained so much
• 26:26
  in the last week and we've made so much progress.
• 26:30
  It really does. I hate, I don't want to say Fast
• 26:33
  forward your healing, but it you're not fast forwarding
• 26:36
  anything, you're just getting six months of therapy in four
• 26:39
  days. We do have that coming up in
• 26:42
  August. If there's any partners out
• 26:44
  there who would benefit from that?
• 26:46
  Yeah, thanks for Alana, for joining me for this.
• 26:49
  I'm so glad that you did because you get somatic healing at a
• 26:52
  whole nother level and I appreciate what you shared with
• 26:55
  me and I'm glad that everybody got a chance to join us today
• 26:57
  that did and reach out to us with you have questions.
• 27:00
  We want to know what you're thinking.
• 27:02
  We want to know what you're feeling and thanks for spending
• 27:04
  time with us. Thank you.
• 27:09
  Hey, thanks for joining us today.
• 27:11
  If this is something that you connected with, I'd love to meet
• 27:14
  with you more and talk about it. So what you can do is go to
• 27:17
  chooserecoveryservices.com or check the show notes and there
• 27:20
  what we can do is set up a quick conversation.
• 27:23
  Thanks so much for listening to Beyond the Facade where we
• 27:26
  unmask the uplink itself.