Latest / Unbalanced with Cerys Davage / 60. My voice survived the storm (ft. Nia Tyler)

Transcript

60. My voice survived the storm (ft. Nia Tyler) · Unbalanced with Cerys Davage

0:09
Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Unbalanced with me,
0:13
Kara Savage. I hope you're all doing well.
0:15
We are back today in radio platform and it's always a
0:18
pleasure. To be fair, they've had a
0:20
revamp. There's a lot of new little
0:22
technical things around and I'm loving it.
0:25
Every time I turn up it just gets better and better and I
0:27
love it. Love that for platform.
0:29
So today, hey, I am with someone that's not new to me but might
0:33
be new to anyone here who's not Welsh.
0:36
I'm here today with someone from my choir, NIA.
0:39
Hello. Hello, how are you?
0:40
I'm doing very well, thank you. How are you?
0:42
Good. I'm very excited to chat to you
0:44
today because our choir has grown quite a bit and I feel
0:48
like even though we go and we attend every Thursday, we never
0:51
get a chance to actually talk. Absolutely.
0:54
I think there's so many different people there because
0:56
we're actually there to sing and try to chat to each other.
0:59
I think you and I are also in different voices, so we never
1:01
actually have a chance to have a little chin wag but.
1:03
Exactly. I always just talk to the people
1:05
around me in in the Altos and you're all the way near the side
1:08
of the room in The Sopranos. So yeah, let's get to know you a
1:11
bit. Tell me about yourself.
1:12
Where are you from and what do you do so?
1:14
I am originally from Ammanford, which is in West Wales, now
1:17
living in Cardiff. I'm 26 and I'm a singer.
1:20
Were you always a singer? I've always sung ever since I
1:23
was small, I was always in sort of, you know, school choir, did
1:26
school shows whenever they had a talent show or we always had a
1:28
school as Deadvod as well, which was really fun.
1:30
So if anybody doesn't know what an as Deadvod is, it's like a
1:33
Welsh cultural festival where they're singing and dancing and
1:36
the school versions are often a little bit more free flowing.
1:38
So we had sort of like sketches and we were sort of taking the
1:42
make out of the teachers that we had and that type of thing.
1:44
So yeah, I've sung ever since I was small, but never really
1:46
thought of it as a career path until later on, which I'm sure
1:49
we'll get to, but we'll sort of leave.
1:50
Leave that dangling, maybe for now.
1:53
The clue is in the title for sure, but I want to know a bit
1:56
about your life before the big thing.
1:58
What were your kind of goals? What was life like growing up?
2:01
Great childhood, grew up in Ammanford, it was lovely.
2:04
Loved school. I absolutely loved school from
2:07
primary school all the way up to the end of secondary school.
2:09
I've always been a sociable person.
2:11
I love people. I'm a little bit of a yapper.
2:13
I love a bit of a chat, get my times as well.
2:16
I do also like being a little bit of a recluse sometimes.
2:18
So it sort of depends on what day you get me sometimes.
2:21
But loved going out partying. Nothing bonkers, you know,
2:24
obviously through too many drinks sometimes, but nothing
2:26
crazy. But I think it was always the
2:28
social aspect of it that I loved going out partying, obviously
2:31
when I was in six form, not when I was in like you were 7.
2:34
Always loved academia as well. I loved to learn stuff.
2:37
I think scratches something in my brain, being able to learn
2:39
something new, you know, I always liked putting in the time
2:41
to revise and that type of thing.
2:43
I was just to get good grades in sixth form.
2:45
I decided to take biology, psychology, English literature
2:48
and then the Welsh back, so the plan was to do psychology, which
2:53
is what I did do. So I went to Royal Holloway and
2:55
started to study psychology, which was fascinating, An
2:58
amazing course. The social life in the Royal
3:01
Holloway was slightly different to what I experienced previously
3:04
in Amford, so it was a lot quieter, so that wasn't my
3:07
favourite thing. But the course itself was
3:09
amazing. I loved learning about people,
3:11
how people work, what makes people tick, how people interact
3:14
with each other socially, how people interact with themselves
3:17
on their own, anything to do with psychology.
3:19
I love the scientific aspect of it because I think I got quite a
3:22
logistical brain, so I loved learning about the
3:24
neurotransmitters that are in your brain or the literal
3:26
anatomy of your brain and that type of thing.
3:28
But I also loved the more social aspect of it and sort of seeing
3:32
how people interact with each other.
3:33
Anything to do with epigenetics then, which is the kind of
3:35
combination of the two together. Amazing.
3:38
So yeah, loved my course and then things sort of went a
3:41
little bit awry, hence why I'm here and have now changed career
3:44
path. I can definitely see you as the
3:45
type of person during like GCSE and A levels that like mapped
3:49
out your revision timetable, colour coordinated everything,
3:53
did mine maps. Yeah, absolutely.
3:55
Colour coordination speaks to my soul, Charis.
3:57
You, you just remember it so much better, don't you?
3:59
Absolutely, it was a bit of a running joke actually, that
4:01
whenever there was exam season, I would just bid farewell to my
4:04
friends. I'd be like goodbye guys, see
4:05
you at the end of exams and I'll I'll come out party and once I'm
4:08
finished, but I will not will not be speaking to into Len.
4:11
You'll not see me. I love that my sisters actually
4:14
go to Union September and Royal Holloway was an option for her.
4:17
But funnily enough, the reason why she hasn't ended up going
4:21
for Royal Holloway is the lack of social aspect.
4:23
I'm telling you, it is my course was amazing.
4:26
Cannot fault the course at all, but I think student life
4:29
compared to what I was used to, it was a big difference for see
4:32
for somebody who'd gone from up here to then much quieter place.
4:35
Had you finished the course completely?
4:37
No, so I was going into my third year, so I had studied first and
4:41
second year. Everything went well with my
4:42
course was going into my third year.
4:44
The event then happened the end of refreshers week, so I'd just
4:48
moved back in to Surrey. So I'd I've been there for the
4:50
week, partying, socialising, catching up with my friends,
4:53
everything. And then everything went a
4:55
little bit pear shaped by the end of the week.
4:57
So tell us about it. Tell us about the thing.
4:59
I was in uni, had just moved in, was enjoying no signs at all of
5:04
ill health, completely fine, and then I woke up on the Saturday
5:09
morning with a debilitating migraine, something like I'd
5:12
never experienced before. I now know of it to be a Thunder
5:15
clap headache, which means pain that you've never felt before.
5:17
Very sudden onset as well, so I assumed that it was a migraine.
5:21
I'd always suffered with headaches, stress headaches
5:24
because I was a bit of a stressy person come exam season.
5:27
So I just assumed that it was a migraine.
5:28
I couldn't see properly. I'd blurred vision, double
5:31
vision, I was being sick. I could barely lift my head from
5:34
the pillow. I was sleeping for hours as
5:36
well. But not from a not from a
5:38
tiredness perspective, more from a as if my body's shutting down
5:41
and I'm in so much pain my body just needs to like recover type
5:43
of thing. That was on the Saturday.
5:46
Ended up missing the freshers, the refreshers ball, which I
5:48
know I'm making light of it but genuinely was a bad sign if I
5:51
was missing out on a social occasion.
5:52
So I knew that there was something wrong.
5:54
So I stayed in on Saturday. The pain persisted until the
5:57
Sunday, still with the same symptoms, still being sick,
5:59
couldn't eat, couldn't lift my head from the pillow.
6:01
I was lucky that I was in the bottom bedroom downstairs so the
6:04
bathroom was literally it was the next door opposite to mine,
6:06
but even that was a bit of a struggle.
6:08
So the pains persisted until the Sunday and we thought, well I
6:11
thought I'd better go check it out.
6:12
So I went to an out of I was GP in Surrey who after the
6:16
examination diagnosed me with a long hangover.
6:22
So I hadn't been out since the Wednesday and this was the
6:25
Sunday. And he said you're probably
6:26
still just hungover, just head home, you'd be fine.
6:29
He did prescribe me with Cocodimol, which is a
6:31
painkiller. So that did help slightly
6:34
because I think the pain was so severe that any alleviation of
6:37
symptoms was going to be helpful.
6:39
The pain was still there, the symptoms were still there, was
6:41
still being sick, not eating, double vision, sleeping a lot.
6:45
And then my mother came to stay with me to help sort of nurse
6:48
whatever was wrong. And the pain and the symptoms
6:52
persisted then until the Thursday.
6:55
So then we decided, right, OK, we'll go home to Ammanford.
6:58
We'll nurse whatever the illness is back home.
7:01
Got on the train in Reading, which in hindsight, had we known
7:03
what it was, we probably wouldn't have gotten the train.
7:06
I was so light sensitive as well that I walked through Reading
7:08
station with a sleep mask over my eyes with my mother having to
7:10
guide my hand because I couldn't.
7:12
I had blurred vision so I physically could not see
7:14
properly. But also I was so light
7:16
sensitive. It was also October time, so it
7:18
wouldn't have been particularly, you know, sunny.
7:21
It was just general sunlight. So I walked through the station
7:24
with a sleep mask over my eyes. So that was a good little
7:27
bonding experience for me, for me and my mum, like a little
7:29
trust exercise. So yeah, we got home, saw a
7:33
nurse practitioner who after again, inspection, thought that
7:37
it was a ear infection because she could see the swelling in my
7:40
ear. But then my mother very, very
7:43
well thought because I still can't see properly, we should go
7:45
to an optician. So the optician that we saw
7:47
happened to be a family friend. So she fit us in at the end of
7:50
her work day. And it was her then who saw that
7:52
there was swelling on the optic nerve, which was indicative of
7:55
swelling on the brain. So I was sent to our local
7:58
hospital. At the hospital, it was now out
8:00
of hours on a Friday. So there was a bit of a delay
8:04
getting there and seeing any kind of health professional.
8:07
They assumed that it was intracranial hypertension, which
8:10
is pretty common in girls my age.
8:13
Also girls who were overweight, which made sense for me.
8:15
So that's what they assumed that it was.
8:16
I had to have an ultrasound on my eyeball, which was kind of
8:20
dramatic, but I got there in the end and we did have to push for
8:24
the scans. So because I think because of my
8:26
age, they assumed that I, it wasn't something as severe as
8:29
what it was. So we, I say we, my mother was
8:32
having to push for the scan, saying there's something wrong,
8:34
she needs to be scanned as soon as possible.
8:35
But again, because it was out of hours, there was a bit of a
8:37
delay with this. They eventually brought it to
8:40
6:00 AM on the Saturday morning. So I was then scanned.
8:43
I had a CTV phenogram which then eventually diagnosed me with a
8:48
blood clot on the brain which meant that I'd suffered a
8:50
stroke. So yes, this was a week long
8:53
ordeal from start to finish for diagnosis.
8:57
Thereafter is a whole different story.
8:59
But yes, I had suffered a stroke at 20 years old two weeks before
9:04
my 21st birthday. Wow, why?
9:07
I think we need to take a second to just digest all that.
9:10
That is incredible. Just the amount that your mum
9:13
had to push for someone to take it seriously just because you
9:17
were young. And I hate to say it, but I'm
9:21
not surprised because the amount of times that people have sat
9:24
here and said that because they were young, doctors didn't
9:27
believe them or just dismissed them with rubbish diagnosis like
9:31
a hangover and it ended up being a stroke, which is just insane.
9:34
Do you think that something needs to change there?
9:37
Absolutely. I think the junior Doctor Who
9:39
had then come back into the room said I should have known it was
9:42
textbook symptoms, but because of her age, that's not what I
9:45
suspected. So if you looked at it on paper,
9:48
listed out all of the symptoms that I had and taken out the age
9:50
aspect, they would they would have diagnosed me there with a
9:53
stroke. Absolutely.
9:54
Things need to change. I think when it happened to me,
9:56
I felt like I was the only person in the world who'd had a
9:58
stroke young. But now having found other
10:01
people online, it is unbelievable the number of young
10:04
people who suffer strokes. And when I say young people, I
10:06
mean people from there's children, but from 18 upwards,
10:10
there are thousands of people who suffer strokes throughout
10:13
the UK. So I think something absolutely
10:14
needs to be done in terms of the public's understanding of young
10:17
people who've suffered strokes because I think had me and my
10:20
friends know more about strokes and young people, we ourselves,
10:23
me and my housemates might have thought actually this might be
10:26
stroke symptoms. Shall we go to A&E as soon as
10:28
possible? I think absolutely something
10:30
needs to be done in terms of the public's knowledge of it, but
10:32
certainly health professionals knowledge of it.
10:35
You know, it's no fault of of the professionals.
10:37
They are only as good as the training that they've been given
10:40
or as good as the information that they have.
10:42
But I've been to three health professionals, but technically
10:46
full once you count the ophthalmologist in the hospital
10:49
as well As for health professionals before it was even
10:52
considered that it was a stroke. And had it not been for the
10:54
scan, they still probably would have been chasing their tails
10:58
respectively and trying to find something else.
11:00
Yeah, a stroke, as we know now, can come on anytime.
11:05
So, you know, the more people that know about it, the more
11:07
people can kind of look out because you never know who
11:08
you're going to be with. You never know who you'll end up
11:11
helping if something like that happens.
11:13
Absolutely. And I think the the public
11:16
campaign, so the the fast symptoms which we often see on
11:19
the telly, on the advert, which is face arms, speech and time.
11:23
I think they've now also made a campaign which is B fast, which
11:26
then also encompasses balance and can't remember what the E
11:31
stands for. I probably should, but even that
11:33
for example, adding in those two symptoms because there are
11:36
different types of stroke as well.
11:37
So I had A not as common type of stroke, so that's why my
11:42
symptoms were slightly different.
11:43
So having the BE at the start of the fast advert, I think in
11:46
itself is helping people to better understand the symptoms
11:50
that they should be looking out for.
11:51
So during this time, how did you feel through it all, you know,
11:54
Did you feel a bit lost? Did you just really want the
11:56
symptoms to go away? During that, the week long sort
11:59
of, you know, I'm having a stroke, it was week long from
12:02
from symptoms to diagnosis because I hadn't suspected a
12:05
stroke at all. I just thought I'm really
12:07
unwell. This is just not fun.
12:09
But I think after I'd had the diagnosis that it was a stroke,
12:12
I think I was just in shock for like the longest time.
12:15
I think it really took me a while for it to sink in, what
12:18
they'd said, what had happened, what was going to happen.
12:21
I think my recovery still, it hadn't really sunk in for a
12:24
while, I think. I do think I was in shock.
12:26
People often ask, you know, how did you feel?
12:28
And I can't remember feeling any emotion.
12:31
I think I was just numb. Then.
12:32
I think there were lots of different thoughts going through
12:34
my mind thinking how could this have happened?
12:36
Why has this happened? What is my life going to look
12:38
like thereafter? Am I ever going to walk
12:41
comfortably again? Am I ever going to be able to
12:43
drive again? Am I ever going to be able to
12:45
finish my degree, see my friends, go out drinking?
12:48
Any sort of normal 20 something year olds Thoughts?
12:52
But I can't remember feeling, I can't remember an emotion, if
12:56
that makes sense. Yeah, I'm sure it must have been
12:58
really overwhelming. And, you know, when you get a
13:00
diagnosis like that or when you are ill and your health is
13:04
compromised, you do think about all those things that you took
13:08
for granted, all the things you know, that you're now thinking,
13:11
like, will I ever be able to do that again?
13:13
And I often see this on social media, this quote.
13:16
That's something along the lines of you could have a million
13:19
problems in life until you have a health problem.
13:21
And then you only have the health problem, you only have
13:24
one problem. Fully agree.
13:25
I think it sounds like such like an old person thing to say, but
13:29
you've got nothing if you don't have your health.
13:31
And that is so true. Your health, your body, your
13:34
physical well-being, your mental well-being is one of the few
13:37
things that you've got the best control over.
13:39
And if you don't have that, so many other things can fall away.
13:42
Career, relations, friendships, your mental health as well.
13:45
Do you know, I think there was a TikTok trend recently that was,
13:47
you know, I'm, I'm rich because I'm rich, because I've got my
13:50
friends. I'm rich because I've got a
13:52
lovely dog who loves me. I'm rich because I've got, you
13:55
know, family who are super supportive.
13:57
And I think health for me would be that thing.
13:59
I'm rich. Oh, I'm, I'm poor.
14:01
Actually, I'm poor. I'm poor because I don't have my
14:03
health. So on bad days I'm poor, but on
14:07
good days I'm rich because this is a good health day.
14:10
And I think people forget that it's it's every day, every
14:13
single day. Every hour of the day is related
14:16
around health. And if you haven't got that, so
14:17
much of your life can change. Yeah, definitely.
14:21
So you're talking about good days and bad days and the
14:23
effect. Let's go back to following the
14:26
stroke. What was the advice that was
14:27
given to you? How is it kind of had a knock on
14:30
effect like how did you recover basically?
14:33
I don't feel like I had that much advice and this is this has
14:36
been one of my bug bears since leaving the hospital.
14:39
I wish one of my catch phrases has been when I've been speaking
14:42
to people about it is I wish I'd just been given a leaflet, A
14:46
singular leaflet which pinpointed me to other
14:49
directions. That said, if your mental health
14:51
starts the struggle, here is where you can look.
14:53
Here is some of the symptoms that you may experience.
14:56
Here is how you may feel physically.
14:58
Here is where you can look for support for aids you may need,
15:02
or financial aid that you may need or anything along those
15:05
lines. I wasn't given anything.
15:08
I wasn't strictly told anything about life after stroke.
15:12
I was in hospital for two weeks and once I was discharged it was
15:15
a lot of time on my parents couch laying literally in the
15:18
dark with blackout blinds. Could barely get up to make
15:22
myself a cup of tea. My mother pretty much weighed on
15:24
me hand and foot. She also, when we were in the
15:27
hospital, had to shower me. So that was an experience as a
15:30
20 something year old having your mother shower you.
15:33
So that's something that I'm thinking.
15:36
Should I be sharing? But also, yes, I will because I
15:39
think it's important to show people how unwell I was and not
15:42
for my sake, not for my own sympathy, for people to
15:44
understand how debilitating store can be for other people
15:48
who are currently going through it, who don't feel well enough
15:50
to speak about it or are just not as feeling as open about it.
15:55
But I wasn't given any mental health advice.
15:58
This is how you may physically feel it, be it, you know, the
16:01
fatigue, the migraines, pains, as well as some numbness.
16:05
I wasn't told anything about yours, how you'll emotionally
16:08
feel. So in terms of post discharge
16:11
care, I do feel like I was let down slightly in terms of the
16:15
support because I was then put on warfarin, which is a blood
16:18
thinner. You've got to go for blood
16:19
tests. I think it's daily to begin
16:21
with, and then it ends up titling out to be weekly,
16:24
monthly, bimonthly, 6 monthly and that type of thing.
16:26
So I was having my blood tests, having my ophthalmology
16:29
appointment and that type of thing.
16:30
But in terms of support, I don't feel like I had that much, which
16:33
I do feel like I was let down with.
16:35
Was that because I was a young person who'd suffered a stroke?
16:37
I don't know. Is it because I was a person who
16:39
hadn't experienced obvious physical symptoms?
16:42
So I was still able to walk. I was still able to talk, which
16:45
is, which are two of the things that I think people associate
16:47
with post stroke that people suffer with aphasia or that
16:50
they're not able to walk and they've had to leave to relearn
16:53
those types of things. Was it because I didn't have
16:55
those symptoms? I don't know.
16:57
But also, if you could walk and talk there and then doesn't mean
17:00
you could tomorrow you. Absolutely, absolutely.
17:03
There are there are days now where I think I look fully fit
17:06
and well, but I do suffer with aphasia.
17:08
I purposely say mild aphasia because it's obviously going to
17:11
be on on a spectrum. So aphasia is where you either
17:15
struggle with sentences or you physically cannot get the words
17:18
out, as in the the neurologically, there's
17:21
something going on that you can't physically make your mouth
17:24
move in that way to make the sounds, et cetera.
17:25
But it's also forgetting words and getting muddled up in
17:29
sentences, forgetting your train of thought and that type of
17:31
thing. I do struggle with that a lot.
17:32
And I think this is actually a perfect example.
17:34
I've forgotten my train of thought.
17:36
I've forgotten what the question was.
17:38
I think you explained that really well.
17:39
And I hope that, you know, the advice does get better over
17:44
time. Just.
17:45
Yeah, just something that says, look, you're not alone.
17:47
If something does happen, there is a community of people.
17:51
Here's where you can find help. Just something simple like that
17:53
I'm sure would make you feel so much less alone because it's not
17:56
like, OK, you've had a stroke, but you know, you'll go back to
17:59
normal and live your life again. You know a lot of things have
18:02
changed since then, right? Absolutely.
18:04
And I think when I was first going through it, I was so
18:06
unwell, I couldn't think of of what the future looked like.
18:09
And to a point, I was so unwell that I didn't need the support
18:12
exactly there and then, if that makes sense, because I was just
18:15
recovering. If I was given a leaflet when I
18:16
left the hospital, I could have then looked at that when I
18:19
needed it. And when I then needed mental
18:21
health support or when I then needed to look at physical aids
18:25
or, you know, fatigue management courses and that type of thing,
18:29
I think then I could have looked at it in my own time.
18:31
I shouldn't really have had to seek those things myself.
18:35
How did you feel afterwards? You know, did the symptoms kind
18:38
of wear off over time? I can't fully remember all of
18:43
it. So timeline wise, the stroke
18:45
happened in October 2019 and then we had COVID in March of
18:50
2020. That's.
18:51
Right. So it was very selfishly a
18:54
perfect time for a global pandemic for me.
18:56
It's cringe worthy as it sounds. My world had already come to a
19:00
stop. My whole life as I knew it was
19:02
already on pause. So having the rest of the world
19:04
then having to also go on pause, very selfishly.
19:07
And I admit that I thought, this is actually really good for me.
19:10
I wasn't thinking, yeah, the rest of the world's had to stop.
19:13
I was just thinking, oh, this is this has made me feel a little
19:16
bit better that I don't have to feel, oh, my gosh, I've really
19:19
got to get back to something because we didn't know when the
19:22
world was going to go back to normal.
19:23
So for me, knowing that I could lay on the couch all day because
19:27
I needed to was OK. I had nowhere that I had to be.
19:30
I didn't feel like I was missing out on social occasion.
19:32
My family was all home. We were all back in our family
19:34
home again. So that was lovely to have
19:36
everybody together for me as the support, I thought actually this
19:39
is really good timing. The symptoms eventually wore
19:43
off. So months and months later, I
19:45
was able to sort of build up my fitness in terms of been able to
19:49
walk a little bit longer and I eventually was able to drive
19:52
again because I couldn't Dr Initially, I couldn't sing for a
19:54
long time as well. So that was quite, quite sad
19:57
because singing has always been like a little bit of therapy for
19:59
me. I was maybe I'm just too loud of
20:01
a singer, but it used to give me a little bit of a headache, I
20:05
think because of the volume of noise, but also in order to sing
20:07
properly and to have a proper belt, which is what I like to
20:10
do, which is where the release for me comes from.
20:12
It uses up so much energy. So I wasn't able to do that.
20:15
I eventually then went back to. University, so I did finish my
20:18
degree oh that's good yes I was very thank you very much
20:22
finished in Cardiff and in order to change to Cardiff I had to
20:26
relinquish my grades in Ron Holloway which meant that 100%
20:29
of my degree was riding on my third year so that was a lot of
20:32
pressure whoa. Bet I got a 21 so I was very
20:36
chapped with that yes so brain injured and sort of you know
20:41
half in COVID times as well so everything was online which
20:44
again worked perfectly for me because I could catch up on
20:46
lectures I could sleep when I needed to yeah.
20:48
It took a long time for me to get back to a semi functional
20:51
state. I'm now more functional again.
20:53
But for me to even to get to that point, it took what felt
20:56
like a very long time. Thinking of the hours of the
20:58
day, not just in terms of the days themselves.
21:01
If you think of every hour, sometimes it was a good hour.
21:03
Then I'd get really exhausted and have to sleep for a good few
21:07
hours and then I'd be okay again and then I'd be ill again.
21:09
So. I completely relate to you on
21:12
the hours thing and I always think of it as a good day and
21:15
bad day but I completely agree. You know, you could start off
21:18
being really energised and getting loads done and then you
21:20
realise, okay, actually all I need right now is to lie down in
21:24
somewhere dark and just sleep. And so yeah, it does really vary
21:28
from hour to hour, doesn't it? It's so fun, it keeps you on
21:31
your toes like that. Exactly.
21:32
Do you know what I mean? It's just it life skill maybe to
21:35
be a bit flexible and have to, you know, have to have to chop
21:37
and change all the time really. Yeah.
21:39
Yeah, I think that's what's, that's one thing I wish I could
21:42
tell other people or show other people is the hourly
21:45
differences. Because if you think about it,
21:47
imagine how exhausting that is for people like us who suffer
21:49
with chronic fatigue problems, that in all of those hours,
21:52
you've got to be conscious of your energy levels.
21:54
You've got to be flexible. You have to have planned well
21:56
enough, but also be flexible with those plans and then have
22:00
to sort of think all the time ahead of time.
22:02
It's just, it can be exhausting. And I think to, you know, from
22:05
the outside and to be fair, why would you, you don't, you know,
22:07
not everybody spends hours thinking about other people's
22:09
lives. That's more than fair enough,
22:11
but it can be frustrating sometimes thinking yeah, but
22:13
imagine how I feel. Imagine how it is for me.
22:15
But it does make the world different when people do
22:18
understand, especially the people closest to you.
22:20
Because I'm really stubborn and sometimes I don't know when to
22:23
stop, when I actually do really need to stop and just slow down.
22:26
And I've got people in my life now that's like, Harris, you
22:28
haven't sat down for so long. How you still stood up?
22:32
And I'm like, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
22:33
And then if I don't sit down, I'll just crash.
22:36
So I've got people in my life that's like, you need to sit
22:38
down right now or please stop what you're doing.
22:40
Just do it later. It's just so nice to have people
22:42
that actually understand as well.
22:44
Absolutely. My, my mom is often like NIA,
22:48
you need to have, you need to have a break.
22:50
And I'm like, no, it's fine. I'll just, I'll just carry on.
22:53
I'll just carry on. And then I think, Oh yeah,
22:56
should have listened to my mum, should have had a break because
22:58
now I've crashed and burned. I've also, I've been on a
23:01
fatigue management course as well actually, which was
23:03
fantastic. I've learned a lot of things.
23:06
Do I action them all? No.
23:08
Am I still sometimes, like you said, a little bit stubborn?
23:10
Yes. But I think having that
23:12
knowledge to then be able to action those myself when I need
23:15
to and when I want to is super important.
23:17
But no, fully agree with you that having people around you
23:19
who can understand it is amazing.
23:21
From an outside perspective, it's a bit of a running joke.
23:24
My sister, my sister lives in London and she, she's a Walker.
23:27
She loves to walk anywhere. She wouldn't bat an eyelid at
23:30
walking for half an hour. And I think, whoa, OK, pre
23:35
stroke, fine. I I'm a bit lazy, but I'd have
23:39
been physically able to do it. Now I have to be like, let's get
23:44
the bus if I'm here. And she's like, yeah, OK, that
23:46
makes sense because she understands my condition.
23:48
She understands the fact that I'm sure you've have.
23:50
You probably talked about the spoon theory at some.
23:53
Point I was just going to ask you if you've heard of it.
23:55
Yeah. That that's going to use up too
23:57
many of my spoons. Yeah, it may only use up one of
23:59
her spoons, but it would have used up probably 3 of mine to be
24:02
able to do that walk. So it's, yeah, having people
24:05
around you who understand it and don't make you feel like you're
24:08
just being lazy or just having a bit of a temper tantrum and that
24:11
type of thing. Exactly.
24:14
But yeah, I've never really grasped like the spoon thing,
24:16
just because I never really know how many spoons I've already
24:19
got. But what I like is battery
24:21
percentage. Yes.
24:22
So like, I, I consider how I am, I need to like, sit with myself.
24:25
It's kind of like meditation in a way.
24:27
I don't do this often enough, I must admit, but it's good to
24:30
just sometimes stop me. Like, OK, what battery
24:33
percentage am I on? Do I need to sit down and charge
24:35
up for a bit? Can I carry on?
24:37
You know, it's it is nice to kind of check in with yourself
24:39
sometimes. Absolutely.
24:41
I think checking in is so important because I think I do,
24:44
but I could probably do it a little bit more.
24:47
And we, we've got a bit of a running joke as a family that in
24:50
South Africa they've got load shedding because of the the
24:53
electricity. There's certain hours throughout
24:55
the day where the electricity is turned off.
24:57
OK. So I now refer to my sort of
24:59
power downtime as load shedding because it's a little bit like
25:03
I'm a robot who's just kind of powered down for a little bit.
25:05
I'm not just on standby. Yeah, I've not switched off.
25:08
You've not turned off the telly. The telly's on standby, like you
25:10
say. It's like a little bit of
25:11
mindfulness that I just sit quietly, try to consciously
25:15
think of my thoughts or slow down my thoughts.
25:18
Sometimes I'll just count in my head but sit quietly and
25:21
purposely calm myself down and focus on my breathing even for
25:24
just 10 minutes and I can just recharge me a little bit.
25:27
And then it's like, oh, time for the robot to go back on.
25:29
I'm here again. I love that.
25:31
Well, if I was a telly, my parents would put me on mute
25:36
just forever I. Think people would do that with
25:38
me? Is that good?
25:40
I'm glad we're the same in that way.
25:42
So you did your degree? Yes.
25:44
Congratulations again. Thank you.
25:46
What did you end up doing afterwards?
25:48
What was your future looking like?
25:50
After I'd suffered the stroke, I knew that I wanted to finish my
25:52
degree. I'd already studied the two
25:54
years. I've always been an academic
25:55
person. I kind of wanted to learn a
25:57
little bit more, but also I thought nobody that can then
25:59
take that away from me. However, the plan after the
26:03
stroke, I thought, you know what, I've always loved to sing.
26:06
I've always loved performing. I might as well give it a go.
26:09
So even though I was finishing my degree, I kind of knew that
26:12
singing was what I was aiming for.
26:14
After I'd graduated, I thought, you know what, when I was laying
26:17
on my hospital bed, a pharmacist had come in and said, Oh my
26:20
gosh, do you know that That blood clot was so big that if
26:23
you'd have left it any longer, you'd have died.
26:26
I thought, OK, you could have maybe delivered that a little
26:29
bit nicer, but then we go brutal.
26:32
Yeah, I thought, thanks for the facts.
26:33
But also, let's have a little bit of once, shall we?
26:37
I'd seen literally how short life could be.
26:39
And I thought, you know what? I might as well go for my dream.
26:41
And if it all goes pear shaped, it all goes pear shaped.
26:44
If you never try, you never know.
26:45
I ended up getting a job in a production company, in a media
26:48
production company because I thought from psychology, that
26:50
was kind of the closest thing I could think of to singing.
26:54
It's kind of more in the side of media performative world.
26:58
I have very quickly declined when I worked there.
27:00
Unfortunately. I think I hadn't quite realised
27:04
until then how how much the stroke had affected me because
27:07
it was then that I was living a proper back to a normal life.
27:10
So I was having to work 9 to 5, socialise daily, plan my work
27:14
schedule and that type of thing. So I ended up having to finish
27:17
work there. They were fantastic.
27:18
The company I worked for were lovely, they were super
27:20
understanding, were able to give me hours to work from home and
27:23
that type of thing. But after having to take time
27:25
off for my physical and mental health, my mental health was
27:27
probably the worst after that that because I think it had then
27:30
really sunk in what has happened.
27:31
I think that was then I'd seen first hand how disabled I now
27:36
was compared to what I was before.
27:38
So I think that was a bit of bit of a hard hitter, but once I'd
27:42
had time to recover from the sort of physical aspect of it
27:44
and the sort of mental health aspect, I thought, right, OK,
27:46
we're going to go full hog into singing.
27:49
So I started posting more videos, made the Instagram page
27:51
in lockdown actually. So I was starting to post very
27:54
small videos and I was recovering from my stroke.
27:56
Once I was able to sing again, that was a good little recovery
27:58
thing for me. And then yes, started to sort of
28:00
post on social media. My singing started to create
28:03
some content for a watch media channel, which is kind of like
28:05
our version of BBC Three called Hansh.
28:07
So I started to make some content for them, picked up some
28:10
singing gigs and then it started to snowball, which is lovely, I
28:14
know. Which is I think three years
28:16
later, I'm starting to feel like, OK, this is actually a
28:19
little bit feasible, This, this could have some legs.
28:22
So that's lovely. Congratulations.
28:24
Thank you. Yeah, three years later, here we
28:27
are. Very recently you have been a
28:29
semi finalist on a slice, which for those of you who don't speak
28:34
Welsh, is the Welsh language version of The Voice.
28:37
It's the first ever series. How was it?
28:40
Amazing. So much fun to work on that.
28:43
The fact that it was a Welsh language one I think made it
28:45
really, really special because I did feel like I was part of
28:48
something important. I think it was important to find
28:51
Welsh talent, Welsh language talent and to give people a
28:55
platform. So that was amazing in itself to
28:57
have that support. Every everybody, every
29:00
contestant who I met was lovely. I think I was surprised or
29:03
perhaps pleasantly surprised just how supportive everybody
29:06
was and I wholeheartedly believe everybody was there genuinely
29:10
rooting for each other, which was lovely.
29:11
Knowing that people have now heard me sing, I don't know, it
29:14
makes me feel kind of like warm inside that I think previously
29:17
done a little bit of work on Welsh telly, but a lot of that
29:20
has been around my stroke and just sort of speaking and giving
29:23
my opinion on things To know that people have seen me in the
29:26
field, which is what I'm hoping will be my main career income,
29:30
which is singing is amazing. I've had two of my videos have
29:33
gone viral on TikTok, which are now at like 14 plus.
29:37
Kei can't even fathom that that many people have heard my voice.
29:42
It does, like I said, makes you feel all sort of warm and fuzzy
29:44
inside. So I think knowing that I was
29:47
able to get a four chair turn was good enough to then go
29:51
through to the callbacks and then go through to the semi
29:54
finals was just amazing. I think I do suffer a little bit
29:57
with a with impostor syndrome and I think going through to the
29:59
semi finals made me think actually maybe I I should suffer
30:03
a little bit less with the imposter syndrome.
30:05
The people do like what I do. People are interested in my
30:09
story, my personality and my voice.
30:11
So it's really given me the extra bit of motivation to
30:13
really make something of this career that I want.
30:15
The day I don't have the motivation to pursue this career
30:18
is the day that I'll stop being able to sing on telly in front
30:22
of those 4 judges as well who are Trail Blazers all in their
30:26
own fields to being able to, to sing on a stage where there were
30:29
TV cameras as well. I thought, oh, it's a little
30:32
taste there maybe of what my my life could be like.
30:34
So that was really fun, an amazing, amazing opportunity.
30:37
Was I disappointed to not get to the final?
30:39
Of course you'd want to say that you were a finalist, but the
30:41
competition was so much fun to be a part of.
30:44
And also the talent where there was insane, I think incredible.
30:48
I in the callbacks, I was having a lovely time just watching
30:53
everybody else sing. I did think, Oh dear, this
30:55
doesn't look good for me because if that's how good they are,
30:58
then I've got no chance. But it was just amazing to be
31:02
able to watch everybody else again.
31:03
As much as I was disappointed to have not made it to the final,
31:05
when I watched the final back on telly, I thought, no, I'm so
31:09
chuffed for these people that they've also had this platform
31:11
because they're their performances were insane.
31:14
I was just watching it as a fan and I was like, wow, yeah, so.
31:18
That's so nice. It just seemed like a family
31:20
that everyone was just rooting for each other.
31:21
Just good vibes all round honestly.
31:23
Congratulations. Not only did all four judges
31:26
turn around, you're on team Bryn Tadwell, which is insane.
31:30
The nation has heard your voice. I'm sure the feedback has been
31:33
amazing since you were on there. I've had a couple of new
31:35
followers online, which is good because I think the more people
31:38
who I know have gone out of their way to click that follow
31:41
button, the more it motivates me to think, OK, people are
31:45
actually interested. I'll post more content, I'll
31:47
post more covers, post a bit more of my personality and that
31:49
type of thing. And I think influencers or any
31:52
type of musician with 10,000 followers or 20,000 followers, I
31:56
think you forget that to them, as a creative, every one of
31:59
those people is important. For me.
32:00
The fact that even 10 people, for example, would have clicked
32:05
that follow button, I think, Oh my God, that's 10 people who
32:08
would potentially then sit in an audience and want to come watch
32:10
me perform. The messages I've had from
32:12
people have been so humbling. I think watching other people
32:17
want to support me and want to be an advocate for me.
32:19
People have said really nice things about my performance and
32:22
what they can't wait to see me see in the future.
32:23
And I just, I can't really wrap my head around the fact that
32:27
people have heard me sing enough to want to know what I'm going
32:29
to do in the future. I think, oh, oh, OK, people are
32:32
people know I exist and sort of and being perceived, which is a
32:35
little bit strange, but. Honestly, I couldn't think of
32:38
anyone more deserving after everything you've been through.
32:41
And yeah, would you say that the stroke has kind of changed your
32:44
life in that way? Without a doubt, if I had not
32:47
suffered that stroke, I'd be a psychologist working a nine to
32:51
five, probably in the rat race. I would not have had the
32:54
motivation to do this. I think having the push to do
32:57
something that is creative, for one.
32:59
I think having always been an academic person and knowing that
33:02
the arts can be a little bit, you know, uncertain as a career
33:05
path, I think had I not seen how short life could be, I probably
33:09
wouldn't have taken the plunge. And now I think, what are you
33:11
going to lose? You can always fall back on a
33:13
proper job. And I've done inverted commas
33:15
there. You might as well go for it.
33:16
Yeah. Had I not had a straw, there's
33:18
no way I'd have been here. So am I glad that it happened?
33:21
No. But am I viewing it as a silver
33:24
lining and a bit of a butterfly effect?
33:26
Absolutely. Had I not suffered that stroke,
33:28
I would never have had the opportunity to sing on national
33:31
television, to go to the Senate, which is the right Parliament to
33:35
talk about my stalk and to perform or to go to the Houses
33:38
of Parliament and be part of the conversation for the UK Brain
33:41
Injury Bill. There's these amazing things
33:43
that have happened which would not have come to fruition, would
33:46
not have come my way had I not suffered the stroke.
33:49
So it's not that I'm thankful that it happened because on a
33:52
daily basis there are, you know, I suffer with the symptoms and
33:56
I've got to live with this for the rest of my life.
33:58
But I'm thankful in a way that it's this is how my life has
34:02
turned out. Well, you've turned it into
34:04
something positive both in your own personal life and your
34:08
career, but also helping to raise awareness as well, which
34:10
is amazing. Wow.
34:12
Well, I am definitely one of those people that wants to know
34:15
what the future holds. What does your future hold now?
34:18
What's next for NIA? World Domination, Kerris.
34:22
That is the only answer I accept.
34:25
What is next? I would love to start.
34:28
I've started already to write original music.
34:31
Yes. I can't can't technically play
34:34
piano. I look on YouTube but look at
34:36
where they're putting their fingers, put my fingers in the
34:38
same place and then play it into my computer.
34:40
I'm a piano teacher just floating that out.
34:42
Are you just letting you know? Yeah.
34:43
I will be taking you up on that offer.
34:45
Perfect. That's fantastic to know,
34:47
actually. I know what we can do just
34:50
before choir practise. We can just go there a little
34:52
bit early. There's a piano there, we can
34:54
have a little tinkle. Absolutely.
34:56
I'm, I'm actually taking you up on that offer.
34:59
So yeah, can't play piano properly and can't read music.
35:02
So it's a lot of YouTube is my best friend at the minute, but
35:05
starting to sort of get an understanding of songwriting.
35:07
I'd love to release an EP at some point next year.
35:11
I don't want to put a date on it because I think, or like a sort
35:13
of a season on it because I think I'd end up holding myself
35:16
too much to account, which I think for my first creative
35:19
project I think will be too much pressure.
35:21
But I'd love to create my own original music.
35:23
I'd love to eventually tour, do small little tours of Wales, the
35:28
UK even maybe. I'd love to do a bit of
35:31
presenting, radio presenting, Tele presenting.
35:34
One thing I'd love to do, Somebody asked me this the other
35:36
day, I would love to sing with a live orchestra.
35:39
That would be a dream of mine I think phenomenal.
35:43
I think being able to sing with other live musicians.
35:45
I'd love to maybe even you know, get a couple of people on board
35:48
for my performances. Bouncing off each other and
35:50
being there's something about it being live and sort of non
35:53
verbally communicating with each other.
35:55
And I would be in the front seat in every performance.
35:58
That's so cool. Well, for now, though, we've
36:01
still got choir and we've got Estadford.
36:03
And yeah, our choir is just thriving and grinding.
36:07
I'm absolutely loving the community there.
36:09
Right. Honestly, it has been so so so
36:12
so beneficial to me. I working as a freelancer, I
36:15
spend a lot of time on my own suffering with my illness as
36:17
well. I spend a lot of time on my own
36:19
because of that, from the social aspect.
36:20
So I cannot tell you how beneficial it has been for me to
36:24
join a choir somewhere. Where I've got to go every week,
36:28
somewhere where I want to go and somewhere where I feel like I
36:29
belong as well. Speaking to people, having the
36:32
chance to socialise, having a bit of fun.
36:34
We go to the pub after and have a little, have a little.
36:36
I'm going to bind. So it is as a chronically I'll
36:39
girly choir has really filled a little place in my heart that I
36:44
really needed filled in genuinely.
36:46
Me too, and I talk about this choir a lot on this podcast.
36:49
Shout outs to have life, yes? Woo Hoo.
36:52
And it's just nice to know that there's someone else in the
36:54
choir that understands what I'm going through.
36:57
And even just before we've recorded, we were, you know,
37:00
comparing notes and experiences. So it's nice to know, you know,
37:03
if I am having a bad day, I know there's someone that's that can
37:06
understand even, you know, the rest of the choir are really
37:09
understandable. But there's just something so
37:11
special about someone that's actually going through it, you
37:13
know? Yeah.
37:14
So thanks for being that person. That's OK, thanks for being
37:17
mine. So in terms of your stroke then
37:21
and being a stroke survivor, is there anything you want to do to
37:24
raise awareness in that way? Yeah, more.
37:26
I'd like to do more fundraising as well, for I'd like to do more
37:29
fundraising for stroke charities and more advocating work.
37:32
I think I feel like I need to actually do something with
37:35
fellow stroke survivors. I feel like I say that I
37:38
advocate for stroke survivors, but I feel like I want to make
37:40
more of a difference. So to finish, I would love to
37:42
ask you a question that I ask all my interviewees, which is is
37:46
there a piece of advice that you'd give your younger self?
37:49
It is always important to take a break.
37:52
For one. I have now learned that rest is
37:54
productive and I've had to learn that from a health perspective.
37:58
But I think that would also have benefited me in an exam setting
38:01
previously because I was always a bit too hard on myself in that
38:04
aspect. But also check in with yourself
38:07
and applaud your achievements. So far.
38:10
I've seen a couple of quotes online.
38:12
You've never had a chance to commend yourself because you're
38:15
always raising the bar. It's super important no matter
38:18
what, what your goal is, what your dreams are, what your
38:23
current grades are in school or anything along those lines.
38:27
I think it's so important to actually pat yourself on the
38:30
back and think, no, you've, you've actually done well there.
38:33
Rather than assuming that your achievements were a necessity or
38:37
that you had to get there, or that you, you, you were going to
38:39
do it anyway. The fact that you've actually
38:41
actioned that and you've made that come to fruition, I think
38:44
needs to be applauded. Take a little break and applaud
38:48
yourself on your achievements, be it even just you know you've
38:51
done your hair today, Diane, well done.
38:54
Tick yeah, I love it. Thank you for sharing that and
38:57
it's advice we can all take on board with a disability or not.
39:01
Where can we find you on socials?
39:03
You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook.
39:07
All are at NIA Tyler music as well as YouTube.
39:11
I think that's all of the socials covered.
39:13
I have a website as well, NIA Tyler Music.
39:15
And I'll definitely link everything below.
39:17
Thank you. Down below in the in the
39:19
description. Thank you so much for coming
39:22
onto the podcast. Thank you for having me.
39:23
It's been an absolute pleasure and I'm just so excited to see
39:27
where you go from here. It's so exciting.
39:30
You've done amazing things so far and this is just the
39:33
beginning. I can feel it.
39:34
Thank you. And Please remember me when.
39:36
You're yeah, when I'm when you're doing a.
39:38
World Tour Please remember Me I. Can bring in tablets with me,
39:42
Don't. Worry good discounted tickets
39:44
please. Not to perform.
39:47
We can be your bucking singer. Yeah.
39:50
All right, OK, we better wrap it up before we get too excited.
39:53
Exactly. Thank you guys so much for
39:54
listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed it, don't forget
39:57
to follow the podcast and rate it five stars.
40:00
That really helps me out. Don't forget to follow me on
40:03
Instagram at unbalancedpodcast and to subscribe if you're
40:06
watching on YouTube channel as well at Kerry Savage.
40:10
Thank you so much to cure LGMD 2 I for sponsoring this podcast
40:14
and I will speak to you guys very soon.
40:16
Until then, bye. Bye.