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Sober Talk SA - Trish · Sober Talk SA

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  Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I'm an alcoholic.
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  Soap to dear thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol, please
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  call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222.
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  I'll visit their website ata.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of people who share the experience, strengthen hope
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  with each other that they may solve their common problems, and
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  help with us to recover from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop
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  drinking and no dues of fees. Fair membership.
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  We are self supporting through our own contributions.
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  He is not allied with any sect in immersion politics,
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  organization or institution, does not wish to engage in any
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  controversy, neither endorses or oppose any causes.
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  Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help.
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  Other Alcoholics are chiefs of Brady.
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  Hi my name is Trish and I'm a substance abuser and basically
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  main reason I started abusing substances beginning was mainly
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  alcohol was to fit in. I grew up, I was a pretty
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  individual person, didn't really have many friends and I was very
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  envious of the core people. So started drinking pretty much
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  regularly when I was 15. It went into drinking at work
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  and and I was, well, I'm in license at 16 and it was never a
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  moment where I wasn't drunk driving.
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  I was always the desert drunk driver, which was a now I look
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  back is pretty, pretty hard thing.
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  You know, I'm very lucky I didn't kill anyone or kill
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  myself. And and then as the years went
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  by, got addicted to weed and just general, general stuck.
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  And I went to university after high school and got really hard
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  on the the liquor then and came a regular at the UNI bar and my
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  local pub. That was when I was about 17,
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  got to the point I was that much of a regular at the my local pub
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  that when my 18th birthday rolled around, they were that
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  shocked. And they've been serving me for
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  three years prior to that and they couldn't really do
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  anything. But it was a pretty, pretty
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  horrid but and then as the years went by, I got into the heart of
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  stuff, the methamphetamines. I was pretty bad on that.
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  I was very, very dependent. I was didn't really earn that
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  much on Centrelink and work and whatnot and to afford the drugs.
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  But you know, I've my housemaid at the time was dealing with
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  amvitamins at that time and I pretty much got into that and
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  got caught by the coppers, went to to court, put myself into
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  DACA detox a few times, didn't really stick.
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  Always, always relapsed back on the weed.
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  And then my last court case was my sentencing and it was one of
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  the scariest moments of my life where I'm standing in the box
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  and the judge is pretty much saying that I'm going to get put
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  away for quite a quite a few years.
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  You know, 'cause I got done for quite a few assaults and there
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  was just a few charges on my back.
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  And he pretty much said to me, the only reason you're getting
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  off today is because of that woman in that stand crying,
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  which with my mother, you know, she was the one that saved me
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  that day. And I still didn't learn, still
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  didn't break the addiction. I still continued to smoke meth,
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  weed, drink. It was just one of those big
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  spirals. You know, I didn't think I was
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  worth it. I didn't have the friends around
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  anymore because I didn't have the access to the drugs.
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  So. But I still found means to get
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  it and is to steal, lie, cheat, all the the usual things that
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  addicts do. You know, I was one of those
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  people that no one could ever trust.
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  I couldn't even trust myself. I was a compulsive liar, you
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  know, I started believing the lies that I was saying.
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  And even to today, I, I start telling the story to someone and
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  I'm like, oh, no, wait, I've got to step back and tell the, the,
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  the, the truth of that story because I'm still reminiscing
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  and trying to remember what I did.
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  And it is, it's just a vicious cycle basically.
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  And found these rooms quite a few years ago, I think it was in
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  2019 when I first entered, entered these rooms at Elizabeth
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  Ace Home group. You know, he was off the way for
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  a bit, you know, but I, I got back onto it and I was still
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  going to meetings while I was still using.
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  But then I just didn't see the point if I was still using, you
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  know, I, I didn't get it, you know, the, the meaning of a, a
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  didn't really kick in at that time.
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  And I, I just continued on my own.
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  And I was in a relationship that was rather violent and mentally
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  abusive. And I was about 6-7 years ago
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  now. And I, I still got quite a lot
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  of post traumatic stress from that, that relationship and all
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  my past relationships where I was pretty much treated like a
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  doormat. And now I with someone who I
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  recently have just married on the whole sudden age is gone.
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  And we both got clean together two years ago on September the
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  23rd. That pretty much happened.
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  And after just continuous marijuana abuse, you know, I
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  quit methamphetamines over 10 years ago and I kicked the
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  kicked that out of the way and having really been a solid
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  drinker for, you know, a good 1012 years now.
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  So it was mainly the marijuana that was kicking me up.
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  Then the Damon was winning. And then my brother and my
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  sister-in-law sat us down. This is when not long after me
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  and my partner were made homeless and we're living in my
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  mum's shed. You know, just the the fact of
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  being homeless again at the age I think I was 3020 that 30 so 4
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  years ago. And it just brought back a lot
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  of positive things have happened and I've been homeless for
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  addiction and pretty much nowhere to live.
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  And but I had a job always pretty much had a job half the
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  time. And then my brother and sister
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  all sat us down and basically said, we've bought a house, do
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  you want to move into it? And we're like, yes, took that
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  opportunity up. No, still using.
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  I was at that time, I was working at a recycling company
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  as a truck driver. That was a pretty toxic
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  environment. Pretty much all the all the boys
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  that worked there smoke weed. And I pretty much had a bong in
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  my work locker and would come back from a run and smoke and
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  all that. And then had another
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  intervention from the family. You know, they were worried and
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  extremely worried about how much money we were spending.
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  They sat down and actually put a pen to paper and thought I could
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  visualize how much I was actually spending.
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  And I was spending almost double water I was earning on just
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  marijuana. You know, I wasn't eating
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  properly. As long as my animals were fed,
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  I didn't really care. I was eating the bare minimum,
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  but it was just one of those things, you know, if I lost my
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  license, there's my livelihood, there's there's the roof over my
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  head gone. But that's one thing I always
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  catch from my addiction years with the roof over my head.
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  And like, except for the times where I got kicked out of my
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  mother's house, you know, it was very brief homelessness.
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  But if I ever did ever have a home where rent was due, that
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  was always paid. It got to the point where I gave
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  my mum my bank card and access to my bank.
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  So if I was renting, she was able to pay my rent before I
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  even touched my money. But now I'm of 34 and two years
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  claim just gone on September the 23rd, which is the, I can solely
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  say the longest I've ever been sober since I've picked up a
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  substance. You know, I have quite a few
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  friends from high school as well as through my addiction days
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  that are sober as well. And it's, it's a, it's a
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  different lifestyle. I'm still still getting used to
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  it. You know, I've now got a job at
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  BOC gases. I'm a truck driver for them
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  delivering some gas cylinders and all that kind of stuff, you
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  know, and I only applied for that because my doctor actually
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  rang me and said that my drug test came back clean.
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  So I was like, yes, I can apply for jobs that require a drug
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  test, you know, because I had that solid time where I would
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  have a drug test and I knew I was going to fail 100% knew I
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  was going to fail. Now, mainly from my corrections,
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  from my convictions that I got done with.
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  But now solidly working for DOC gases for over a year and a half
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  now and had multiple drug tests where I'm like, yeah, let me do
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  what I need to, to get this test away and pass.
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  You know, it's, is this a real feeling, knowing that if I'm
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  going to take a test and I'm going to pass, it's, it's a
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  strong proudness feeling that I have inside that, you know, I've
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  finally done it. But you know, there's, there's
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  never that promise in the future that I'll never go back.
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  It's why it's always one day at a time, as all the old timers
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  say. And and now I'm starting to just
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  start to say saying as well, you know, so, and as they always
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  say, you know, you've got to keep coming back.
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  And it's just one of those things I'm to have all my AA
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  friends, you know, I've got more a a friends than actually to
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  have normal friends. And they're like my family that
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  I written half of my guests for my wedding were my a a friends
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  and all the old timers that were there.
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  So this is known proof that they've made a massive impact on
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  my life. And you know, I'd, I don't ever
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  want to go back. I can't make that promise that I
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  never will, but I've got the the means and the tolls to continue
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  being sober and as long as I will go to sleep sober, I'm I'm
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  waking up sober, you know, it's, it's a lot easier, especially my
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  partner was got sober with me as well.
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  And there any way I could really get sober was we went Interstate
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  for a holiday in Sydney because I knew if I went on a holiday in
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  Adelaide, it wouldn't be long until I went somewhere to find
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  something. At least if I'm in a different
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  state, I don't know where anything is.
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  So that was a a big, big achievement on both our
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  behalves, you know, and they're just the will to want to be
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  normal in some formal way. But you know, us, US addict X
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  addicts and recovering, recovering addicts are, we're
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  never normal. We're always that weird bunch.
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  But I'm just glad to finally have a relationship with my
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  parents again. You know, as I've always said,
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  you know, my dad has been saying that when I come round lately,
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  it's not just because I want something.
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  I just want to go around there to see him and have a chat, you
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  know? And my mother's my best friend
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  again, you know, I'm 100% honest with them, my family, everyone.
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  And being in a relationship with someone that's going through the
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  the same, same direction and the same recovery Rd. that I am is
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  is a big encouragement. And it really helps having
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  someone to that understands what I'm going through on a
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  day-to-day basis. You know, I wake up, she's
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  there, I come home, she's there. It's an amazing feeling.
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  And she knows that I'm always there for her as well.
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  I'm, I'm, I'm her biggest fan and she's my biggest fan.
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  So it, it's a great feeling just being sober and sending out the
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  message to people who are struggling.
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  You know, every time I get a chance to talk to someone, one
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  of my mates who to think they're struggling, always let them
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  know, you know, the number, you know, is the, the a, a is
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  whatnot. And we're always here whenever
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  you need us, when you're ready, you know, because you can't help
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  someone that doesn't want to be helped.
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  And at that time, you know, I did want to be helped by my
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  family. They knew I was struggling just
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  just to buy food or no borrowing money to to get smokes, as I
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  said, you know, but knew exactly what it was going to half my
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  money was going to the tick and there's my pay gone and oh shit,
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  I've got to have money for the next fortnight.
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  But it's a good feeling. I got money in the bank.
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  I'm like a bill comes up. I'm I'm in in credit in all my
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  bills. It's is this surreal feeling
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  being they're sober, you know, it's I'm still in my early days,
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  you know, I'm still young, I'm only two.
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  So there's a a lot of old timers out there that have been 20-30
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  forty years. And it's a real inspiration
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  that, you know, the there is a massive hope for a great future.
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  And I wouldn't be in for a great future if I was still using.
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  It's. It's just surreal without, you
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  know, you drop one thing and there's endless possibilities on
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  the other side. It's, yeah, just a extremely
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  great feeling. And yeah.
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  How did you go with the God pad of Trish?
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  The what? Sorry.
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  The God pad. Say, I never really bothered me.
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  Like I don't, I'm not a big believer in God, but I do
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  believe in guardian angels and things that are always there to
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  help you out. You know, I went to a psychic
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  quite a few years ago and he basically explained A presence
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  that was my brother, who was my mother's first born, still was a
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  stillborn. And so I've always seen him as a
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  as guardian Angel of mine. You know, I've never had a
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  really big problem with people who believe in God.
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  It's just don't try and make me believe in what they believe in.
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  But yeah, I do believe in a higher power, that there is
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  something out there that is guiding us and protecting us.
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  And, you know, there was many a times throughout my addiction
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  days where I can 100% say that my, my, my pal was definitely,
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  definitely looking after me. And, you know, I was saying to
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  the, the earth and the world that no, they're not ready yet,
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  that they've got to keep going. They've got something to, to
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  prove and something to do. So the, the God side and the
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  religious sides never really fazed me.
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  You know, it's, it's to people's interpretation, you know, of
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  exactly what is said, you know, So I'm not really, really hot
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  faced about that. So yeah.
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  Yeah, it's just some people just bring it up because some people
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  have a problem and. There's a lot of people out
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  there that, you know, as soon as that word God is said, it's
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  like, and that one not no part of that, but with the, the
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  promises and the 12 steps, you know, and my serenity prayer, I,
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  you know, you can pretty much be praying to, you know, a chair,
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  you know, because it's doing its job.
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  You know, the, you know, there's plenty of things out there that
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  people use as higher powers that has got nothing to do with a
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  religious side. So it's it's, yeah, it's just
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  one of those things. It's everyone's age to their
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  own. Very good.
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  Yeah. Send me.
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  That's the that's the right attitude to have rather than try
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  and fight any of it, isn't it? Yeah, definitely.
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  You know, it's the only way to let go.
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  And, you know, because you've got to let go of all that, that
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  anger towards any form of religion because it's, it really
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  isn't. It's more of a spiritual program
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  than it is a religious. You know, the way I've, I've
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  always seen and heard and always portrayed in my my sobriety.
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  You know, there's always something out there.
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  You know, I do my my prayers every day and I always praying
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  for the world and praying for my family.
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  You know, it's not to God. It's the to pretty much
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  whatever's up there that wants to protect us.
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  That's that's what I'm I'm praying to.
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  Yep. Very good.
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  Very good, yeah. Well, thanks very.
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  Much for your share. That's all good.
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  When's it going to be aired? I will inform.
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  You A A has more than two million recovering Alcoholics
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  throughout the world. In Australia there are about
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  18,000 members. They're made in over 2000 local
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  meetings spread around the country.
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  Meetings range in size from a handful in some areas to
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  hundreds or more in larger communities.
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  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Announcing 1300 Double 22222 or
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  visit their website on aa.org dot AU.