Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 4 - Episode 72 - The different definitions of love...
Transcript
- 0:01Hey everybody, welcome to the good morning from the Chicken
- 0:04Coop podcast. My name is Kim Johnson and I am
- 0:07a mastermindset coach, creative strategist, and also happen to
- 0:10be a farmer. This is my chicken coop and I
- 0:12come out here every day to record a podcast to teach
- 0:16distinctions, possibilities, new ways of thinking, and just bring
- 0:20some joy into the world. So welcome to the coop and let's
- 0:23start your day off in a fantastic way.
- 0:27Hey everybody, good afternoon from the chicken coop.
- 0:31The girls are all getting ready to get tucked into bed.
- 0:33All the late girls are hanging out outside as I'm recording
- 0:36this, looking at me like, what are you doing?
- 0:38What do you have for snacks? And they always make me laugh
- 0:42when they do this. Snack time is over anyway.
- 0:45OK, I had a client that said to me the other day, if you have to
- 0:49persuade someone to love you, then they just don't love you.
- 0:54And I thought, wow, that's pretty profound for a Monday
- 0:57afternoon. And we had a good laugh about
- 0:58it. And then, you know, he explained
- 1:01further what his thought was on it, That love was something that
- 1:06you shouldn't have to work for. And I think we all in this
- 1:11society, we all have different variations of what love is, what
- 1:15love does, how love acts. We all have these versions that
- 1:20come into our minds. And a lot of it for some of us
- 1:24is Hallmark movies. And we're constantly thinking
- 1:26it's going to be a certain way. We've all seen the romantic.
- 1:29I mean, I obsessed on watching The Princess Bride and When
- 1:32Harry Met Sally and all these wonderfully romantic movies and
- 1:38got me thinking about, you know, we're really is is that really
- 1:42true? What he said about love?
- 1:43If you have to convince someone to love you, they don't love
- 1:46you. Well, I don't agree with that.
- 1:48I think there are many different kinds of love.
- 1:51And I think the love that I have for my chickens is very
- 1:54different than the love that I have for my children or my dogs
- 1:58or anybody else. Like everything is relatable in
- 2:02one way or another. So you have to pull yourself,
- 2:07you know, out of the ethereal of what love is in our head and
- 2:10come back to, is this a definition that I'm comfortable
- 2:15with for everything? Or is it something else?
- 2:17Like, I love growing flowers, but that's different than my
- 2:21love of growing vegetables. And there's nuance in all of it.
- 2:25And if we are willing to be honest with ourselves and stop
- 2:29and pause and think about it and talk about it, we can recognize
- 2:33that this nuance makes a big difference.
- 2:35It is, it is something that's important.
- 2:39It's a distinction and you have to define it for yourself.
- 2:42I think when you think about if you love your spouse and your
- 2:46spouse and you love your parents, that's a different kind
- 2:49of love. It's in everything.
- 2:51It's even in coffee. I could say I love coffee, but I
- 2:54love coffee from one particular coffee shop more than I love it
- 2:58in another one. And that's what's so peculiar
- 3:00and fascinating and thrilling about emotions is they are,
- 3:05they're just constantly malleable.
- 3:07They're constantly moving, they're constantly switching
- 3:11places and making us think about it.
- 3:13And we have to define them over and over and over again.
- 3:17But do we define them? That's my self question that I
- 3:21always ask myself. It's like a very important
- 3:23question. It's like it's a self reflective
- 3:25question, you know, am I defining my emotions today?
- 3:29Am I searching for them? Am I realizing what they're
- 3:33telling me, or am I just letting them run me and drive the bus
- 3:37and drive me crazy in the process?
- 3:39And it's, it's become quite the profoundly shifting habit that
- 3:44I've developed for myself asking those questions.
- 3:47So if you've never done that and just constantly checked in and
- 3:50asked these questions about all different things, like what
- 3:53we're talking about right now, just do a check in, say, let me
- 3:56think about all the things in my life and how I love them.
- 3:58How do I define love for each of them?
- 4:00Because it's all different. And it's OK that we can say
- 4:03that. We can be honest about it.
- 4:04Love is a big word and it has many variations and and if we
- 4:12ignore those variations, we ignore the nuance, which gives
- 4:16us all the little trickles of greatness in there, the little
- 4:20sparkles, the things that show up that make that feel so yummy
- 4:25when we think about it. So as a practice, as a general
- 4:30practice to take into your world, start checking in on your
- 4:34definitions of not just the word love, but everything happiness.
- 4:38Look, think about all the different things of happiness.
- 4:41You know, how can you be happy doing laundry?
- 4:44Well, sure, if you have the right focus that you're, you
- 4:47know, you're helping the people that fill those clothes.
- 4:51Can you be happy with cleaning your house?
- 4:54Sure, if you're caring for something that you love.
- 4:57All these versions have options and you have to define them so
- 5:03that you can feel good about them all, otherwise they will
- 5:05make you crazy in the process. So I recommend going and
- 5:09thinking about them all and don't try to do it all at once
- 5:12for everything. Just take little bites here and
- 5:14there and start to define it and see where it comes and leads you
- 5:17because that's where the path of being a human is.
- 5:20So, you know, so interesting to me because as you define
- 5:25yourself over and over and over again, you learn so much more
- 5:28about yourself. And that's what this life is
- 5:30about, learning more about yourself overall.
- 5:32All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I
- 5:35will see you tomorrow. Bye.