Latest / Billy The Kidd In The Morning / Dirty Little Secret:I Can't Marry Him Unless This Is Done First
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Dirty, little secrets.
- 0:01Speaker 2: Little Sacre.
- 0:04Speaker 3: Mixed one or two point nine, failing a Kid, Candice
- 0:07Speaker 3: slow Pass, producer Poohn. If you got a secret eight
- 0:08Speaker 3: three three seven eight seven one o two nine, doesn't
- 0:11Speaker 3: matter what it is, I always say big secret, small secret,
- 0:14Speaker 3: will keep it anonymous. Just confess.
- 0:16Speaker 2: Okay, I have been wanting to get this off my chest.
- 0:21Speaker 2: I've been with my boyfriend now for almost twelve years,
- 0:24Speaker 2: and like, I mean, honestly, it's hard to believe that
- 0:27Speaker 2: we've been together for that long, just like flown by,
- 0:30Speaker 2: and I'm I'm being honest here. Probably half of our
- 0:33Speaker 2: relationship has honestly been pretty toxic. We met really young,
- 0:38Speaker 2: so I try to give, you know, as much grace
- 0:41Speaker 2: as possible. But we've made like a lot of dumb decisions,
- 0:45Speaker 2: and we've heard each other and we stayed together through
- 0:49Speaker 2: those things that probably most couples would have broken up over, because.
- 0:53Speaker 3: Being with someone twelve years is a long time.
- 0:56Speaker 1: This boyfriend and girlfriend, it's.
- 0:57Speaker 3: Just boyfriend and girlfriend. So a lot of this relationship
- 0:59Speaker 3: is has been a little toxic.
- 1:01Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, like we started out knowing each other
- 1:05Speaker 2: in high school and he was the man that every
- 1:08Speaker 2: girl wanted back then all state football player in high school.
- 1:13Speaker 2: He played in college hat six packs. He was incredibly
- 1:17Speaker 2: in shape, and I mean, yes, he was a total
- 1:20Speaker 2: player though because he knew he could get away with it.
- 1:24Speaker 2: We definitely have survived through the rough years somehow. But
- 1:27Speaker 2: over time he really has made a lot of change good.
- 1:31Speaker 2: The change is not all good. I actually haven't been
- 1:34Speaker 2: that open about this, but I'm not going to marry
- 1:37Speaker 2: him until he loses weight.
- 1:39Speaker 1: Oh wait, Oh that's not what I expected.
- 1:44Speaker 2: I know it all.
- 1:46Speaker 3: I know it's so shallow. You said you're not going
- 1:49Speaker 3: to marry him. So he's okay because I got this
- 1:51Speaker 3: picture in my head of this like all buff dude.
- 1:54Speaker 1: Yeah, can't commit to you still.
- 1:58Speaker 3: So you're saying that, right, he's so over the years
- 2:01Speaker 3: now he's gained weight.
- 2:02Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 2:02Speaker 3: It bothers me.
- 2:04Speaker 2: And I mean, I just think what happened is that
- 2:07Speaker 2: he used to be really driven. He was competitive, he
- 2:10Speaker 2: was really confident, he took pride and taking good care
- 2:13Speaker 2: of himself. Now he's just like a guy with a
- 2:16Speaker 2: regular job, comes home, sits on the couch. He has
- 2:20Speaker 2: gotten just he's taken things really comfortably and he just existing.
- 2:25Speaker 3: It seems you haven't told him that this is why
- 2:28Speaker 3: you're not going to marry him, though, or you did
- 2:30Speaker 3: tell him told him.
- 2:32Speaker 2: I haven't told him this exactly. He has brought up marriage.
- 2:36Speaker 2: The last time that he did it, I said, you know,
- 2:38Speaker 2: we need to be in a different place first, and
- 2:42Speaker 2: by that I said, you know, you need to work
- 2:45Speaker 2: on yourself.
- 2:45Speaker 3: Oh but you meant a different body. You need to
- 2:50Speaker 3: work on your truth. Okay. You never told him that.
- 2:54Speaker 2: Okay, never actually have said, like, Okay, I just need
- 2:58Speaker 2: to be with a guy who's in ambitious, discipline, confident
- 3:01Speaker 2: in himself, and he's.
- 3:03Speaker 3: Just not Wow, I get where you're coming from. I
- 3:06Speaker 3: think you know. So you're saying it's more than just physical.
- 3:08Speaker 3: Obviously he's gained weight. That happens, people go up and
- 3:10Speaker 3: down and wait whatever you're saying, it's more just overall things. So, yeah,
- 3:14Speaker 3: you don't want to marry a guy who's overweight, but
- 3:18Speaker 3: he's also not driven.
- 3:19Speaker 1: He's Yeah, he's friends who split up because of the
- 3:22Speaker 1: same reason.
- 3:23Speaker 2: Like, I totally get this is not a popular opinion,
- 3:25Speaker 2: but I think a man should be someone his family
- 3:28Speaker 2: can depend on, and part of that to me is
- 3:31Speaker 2: like him taking care of himself and being healthy. I
- 3:34Speaker 2: just don't want to see myself spending the next twenty
- 3:37Speaker 2: years begging my husband to exercise, well, worrying, you know,
- 3:40Speaker 2: if he's going to have a heart attack by the
- 3:42Speaker 2: time ninety's fifty.
- 3:43Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, is it the ambition when it comes
- 3:47Speaker 1: to exercise or ambition in life, because I think they're
- 3:49Speaker 1: kind of a little different.
- 3:50Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you he's a man that can easily
- 3:52Speaker 3: bleed into each other.
- 3:53Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:54Speaker 3: You know, your physical appearance dictates a lot, and your
- 3:56Speaker 3: drive in general can also. You know, you just when
- 4:00Speaker 3: you get a little bit older and honestly, and I'm
- 4:03Speaker 3: not gonna speak for your boyfriend, but he could be
- 4:04Speaker 3: going through something mentally too. Yeah. And a lot of
- 4:07Speaker 3: men do they hit a wall where they feel like
- 4:09Speaker 3: women too? Yeah. No, Oh, of course anyone can be.
- 4:12Speaker 3: But I'm just saying, as a man who at once
- 4:14Speaker 3: was an all state football player and was the man
- 4:16Speaker 3: in high school, now life is a little bit more normal,
- 4:18Speaker 3: he's not the man, right, and all of a sudden
- 4:21Speaker 3: things are different, and that can mess with your mind
- 4:24Speaker 3: a little bit.
- 4:25Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I feel like this is a maybe
- 4:27Speaker 2: of like an epidemic, but I feel like some men
- 4:30Speaker 2: have just gotten so comfortable and like they feel they
- 4:33Speaker 2: just don't have to push themselves anymore and they don't
- 4:36Speaker 2: feel like leading, and somewhere along the way they just
- 4:38Speaker 2: lose also their's help confidence.
- 4:40Speaker 3: Yeah wow, but this is a team effort. You need
- 4:43Speaker 3: to help him. You know what I'm saying, talk to him.
- 4:46Speaker 3: I am.
- 4:47Speaker 2: I'm trying to definitely be delicate. I love this man
- 4:49Speaker 2: for sure, I'm not gonna leave him over this. But
- 4:53Speaker 2: you know, if he asked me to marry him again
- 4:55Speaker 2: before anything changes, I'm gonna just straight up tell him
- 4:57Speaker 2: the truth.
- 4:58Speaker 3: I'm just saying, like, if the tables were and he
- 5:00Speaker 3: told you, hey, I'm not going to marry you till
- 5:02Speaker 3: you lose them weight, I would I wouldn't. I wouldn't
- 5:05Speaker 3: say that to anyone. No, So that's definitely not the
- 5:07Speaker 3: way you bring it up. But I mean, I definitely
- 5:09Speaker 3: think that's the last thing. If you're gonna bring up
- 5:12Speaker 3: anything when it comes to appearance, you bring up health.
- 5:14Speaker 3: And I want you to be healthy if you're gonna
- 5:17Speaker 3: lead our family, which if you're marrying me, you're going
- 5:19Speaker 3: to be the leader of our family, and you you
- 5:21Speaker 3: should be physically fit and healthy.
- 5:23Speaker 1: Yeah, I need to be able to rely on.
- 5:25Speaker 3: You, and I get that. I mean that makes sense.
- 5:27Speaker 3: If you're in a relationship and somebody depends on you,
- 5:30Speaker 3: your health matters to them for sure, and it should
- 5:32Speaker 3: matter to you too. So I mean I think you
- 5:35Speaker 3: should be honest with him and say, listen, I've noticed
- 5:37Speaker 3: this and I'm worried about you.
- 5:39Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe a wedding would motivate him. Maybe y'all for
- 5:42Speaker 1: the wedding, you know.
- 5:43Speaker 3: Maybe work out together, maybe you do something to get
- 5:46Speaker 3: his motivation. But maybe he's in a job he hates.
- 5:48Speaker 3: Maybe you motivate him and beat the support system he
- 5:51Speaker 3: really needs right now. But I definitely wouldn't bring up weight.
- 5:54Speaker 3: Good luck. I really hope it works out if you
- 5:57Speaker 3: can give us an update and you know, follow up
- 5:59Speaker 3: and just in a few don't weeks or months call
- 6:01Speaker 3: us up and tell us what's going on.
- 6:03Speaker 2: For sure, I will definitely and thank you all again
- 6:06Speaker 2: for the advice.
- 6:07Speaker 3: Of course, should wait ever be an issue when it
- 6:09Speaker 3: comes to marrying somebody or not, I'll let you be
- 6:12Speaker 3: the judge. But by the DMS, I'm getting woo mad
- 6:15Speaker 3: at her, calling her shallow men and women saying she's shallow.
- 6:19Speaker 3: This is not a woman you even want by your side.
- 6:21Speaker 3: I'm like, good Lord,