Latest / Alpha Men Podcast / Open Season: No Topic Gets a Free Pass | Alpha Men Podcast S6 Ep. 1

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Open Season: No Topic Gets a Free Pass | Alpha Men Podcast S6 Ep. 1 · Alpha Men Podcast

2:15
SPEAKER_05: Go.
2:15
SPEAKER_05: What is going on, you sick twisted freaks?
2:19
SPEAKER_05: Uh, welcome to the Alpha Men Podcast, season six, episode one from the granted capital of the world.
2:26
SPEAKER_05: My name is TJ Michaels, my uh partner in crime.
2:29
SPEAKER_05: He's a big dumb animal, but he's from Trinity, North Carolina.
2:32
SPEAKER_05: His name is John Stacy.
2:33
SPEAKER_05: We like to call him Baby Huey around here.
2:35
SPEAKER_05: And uh, I don't know, did you did you get a beer for tonight?
2:39
SPEAKER_06: Are you still post surgery?
2:42
SPEAKER_06: So water.
2:43
SPEAKER_05: Oh, you're doing water.
2:45
SPEAKER_05: I did I picked I picked something tonight that matches my shirt.
2:49
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
2:50
SPEAKER_07: Well, PBR is first time having that.
2:53
SPEAKER_05: It's been a while.
2:54
SPEAKER_05: The old lawnmower beer.
2:55
SPEAKER_07: Wait, wait, is that the is that the same case from uh Pack to Pantry?
2:59
SPEAKER_05: Probably, yeah.
3:00
SPEAKER_05: No, no, no, it's not.
3:02
SPEAKER_05: I brought uh I bought it about uh 35 minutes ago at the Beverage Baron on Main Street in Barrie, Vermont.
3:09
SPEAKER_05: All right, and it's uh the big man can.
3:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, tall boy.
3:13
SPEAKER_05: All right, nice$1.62 a can.
3:19
SPEAKER_05: It's high class beer.
3:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, absolutely.
3:22
SPEAKER_05: Uh listen, uh, we have been gone for a very, very long time.
3:26
SPEAKER_05: Uh we did not intend we we didn't intend to be gone this long, did we?
3:30
SPEAKER_05: I mean, we we decided we were gonna take a couple months off for the summer as we normally do.
3:36
SPEAKER_05: And uh then life happened, you know.
3:38
SPEAKER_05: We did vacations, and some of us uh went to Universal Studios, you know, and some of us went on a cruise, some of us did the summer thing with our kids, yeah.
3:52
SPEAKER_05: Uh and some of us did surgery.
3:59
SPEAKER_05: Some of us got another new job, you know, and some of us did surgery.
4:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so I'm really disappointed.
4:08
SPEAKER_05: So uh we were gonna come back a couple of weeks ago, and then John had this gallbladder thing, and he was like whining like crazy about all the Lord, I thought I was gonna freaking die.
4:19
SPEAKER_05: Being a huge wuss, you know.
4:22
SPEAKER_07: Two days, what was it?
4:23
SPEAKER_07: I was it's been today's Tuesday, so it was a week ago I had surgery.
4:27
SPEAKER_07: Yep.
4:28
SPEAKER_07: And a week before that, I was home on my computer, and oh my god, it just like came it hit me like a ton of breaks.
4:36
SPEAKER_07: I thought I was having a heart attack.
4:37
SPEAKER_07: So I sat here three hours by myself with the dog.
4:40
SPEAKER_07: She had no clue what's going on, and I was pacing in pain, lying on the floor, and I couldn't figure it out.
4:45
SPEAKER_07: And everybody's like, Well, why don't you just call me?
4:47
SPEAKER_07: Why don't you thought you're having a heart attack?
4:48
SPEAKER_07: I was like, Well, I mean, if I was gonna go, I was gonna go like a man, I wasn't going to the hospital.
4:52
SPEAKER_05: Sure.
4:53
SPEAKER_05: That's what we do, right?
4:54
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, like we're not going to no hospital, yeah.
4:57
SPEAKER_07: It was rough.
4:58
SPEAKER_07: So, but yeah, so they were to say I went to the hospital, went to the ER.
5:02
SPEAKER_07: Five hours later, six hours later, they said it was my gallbladder, and then three days later had surgery pre-op, and then that last Tuesday I had taken out.
5:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so we planned to come back a couple of weeks ago, and then this thing happened.
5:15
SPEAKER_05: You got a new job in the whole nine yards, and yep, working in the data century.
5:20
SPEAKER_05: It was funny.
5:21
SPEAKER_05: Your wife sent me a text when you were still in the recovery room after surgery, and she goes, The doctor just showed me a picture of it.
5:29
SPEAKER_05: It's massive.
5:31
SPEAKER_05: Meaning your gallbladder.
5:33
SPEAKER_05: Okay, and she goes, It's massive, and it was full of stones.
5:37
SPEAKER_05: And I go, Well, it came out of him.
5:39
SPEAKER_05: What would you expect?
5:40
SPEAKER_05: Of course it's massive, you know what I mean?
5:42
SPEAKER_05: Like, I go, I guess I'll go ahead.
5:45
SPEAKER_05: She she goes, she goes, Yeah, the doctor showed me a picture of it.
5:48
SPEAKER_05: I go, Oh, can you get it for the show?
5:51
SPEAKER_07: I tried.
5:52
SPEAKER_05: Right?
5:53
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, come on, we need that.
5:55
SPEAKER_05: We gotta we gotta show people John's massive gallbladder.
5:59
SPEAKER_05: Uh, but he wouldn't give it to you, right?
6:01
SPEAKER_07: Uh well he's gonna give it to me when I see him post op.
6:04
SPEAKER_07: There was something wrong with the online stuff.
6:05
SPEAKER_07: I try to get to work, but it wouldn't come up.
6:06
SPEAKER_05: Oh, all right, all right.
6:07
SPEAKER_05: So maybe in the future, look, I don't wanna I don't wanna make a whole bunch of promises that we can't keep, but if there was a hook to season six of the Alpha Men podcast, a future episode may include a photo of John's massive gallbladder.
6:22
SPEAKER_05: Just saying, you're gonna want to come back every single week.
6:25
SPEAKER_05: So uh uh yeah, so uh 22% of people say they don't have any regrets.
6:33
SPEAKER_05: Um yeah, I'm uh just regular don't have any regrets.
6:36
SPEAKER_05: Do you have regrets?
6:39
SPEAKER_05: Like me last night, I regret not going I regret staying up and and not going to bed before halftime uh uh on the Monday night football game.
6:48
SPEAKER_05: That's that's a regret.
6:50
SPEAKER_05: A new survey out says 22% of people say they don't have any regrets.
6:56
SPEAKER_05: I'm guessing what I'm guessing one of your regrets would be you probably should have gone to the doctor sooner.
7:02
SPEAKER_07: But uh oh man.
7:04
SPEAKER_07: But why'd why'd you go to bed early?
7:08
SPEAKER_05: Shut up.
7:09
SPEAKER_05: You know why I was doing it.
7:11
SPEAKER_05: You know, oh here we go.
7:12
SPEAKER_09: Here we go.
7:13
SPEAKER_05: Here we go.
7:14
SPEAKER_05: Here we go.
7:17
SPEAKER_05: No, I don't want any more.
7:18
unknown: Stop.
7:19
unknown: That's enough too late.
7:20
SPEAKER_05: All right, listen.
7:22
SPEAKER_05: Listen, I deserve it.
7:23
SPEAKER_05: I deserve it.
7:25
SPEAKER_05: Here we go.
7:26
SPEAKER_05: I deserve it.
7:28
SPEAKER_05: I'm a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan.
7:30
SPEAKER_05: I will always be a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan.
7:32
SPEAKER_05: There was that movie that Tom Hanks was in about baseball, no crying in baseball.
7:36
SPEAKER_05: There's no crying in football.
7:38
SPEAKER_05: I readily admit last night, the birds sucked on ice.
7:42
SPEAKER_05: All right?
7:43
SPEAKER_05: Offense sucked, defense sucked, coaching sucked, play calling sucked, everything sucked.
7:51
SPEAKER_05: So there you go.
7:53
SPEAKER_05: There you go.
7:56
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, here we go.
7:58
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, anyway.
8:01
SPEAKER_07: Michelle, that's crazy, though.
8:03
SPEAKER_07: I would have wanted to keep them.
8:04
SPEAKER_07: I didn't know what they look like, but Michelle commented.
8:08
SPEAKER_07: Saying uh Ron asked to keep his stones when they took his gallbotter out, but they wouldn't let him.
8:15
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
8:16
SPEAKER_05: Ron would ask that.
8:18
SPEAKER_05: That is a Ron, that's a Ron move right there.
8:21
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
8:23
SPEAKER_05: Uh anyway, 22% according to a new survey of people say they have no regrets.
8:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, crazy.
8:30
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
8:30
SPEAKER_05: Like most of us had like stockpiled a dozen halfway through today, today.
8:35
SPEAKER_05: You know, I mean, like, we all have regrets.
8:37
SPEAKER_07: I can't think of a regret on the top of my head.
8:39
SPEAKER_07: The only thing pops in my head is like the whole Dexter situation.
8:42
SPEAKER_05: Well, like you no, but you like when you don't leave that hot pocket, time to cool.
8:47
SPEAKER_05: Uh, you probably regret that, right?
8:49
SPEAKER_05: That's a regret.
8:50
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know what?
8:50
SPEAKER_07: That's what got I gotta give me stones, all that crap.
8:53
SPEAKER_05: That's it.
8:54
SPEAKER_05: Asking your wife how their work day went, don't do it.
8:59
SPEAKER_05: Don't do it.
9:00
SPEAKER_05: All right.
9:01
SPEAKER_05: Telling the guy at Supercuts, hey, get creative.
9:04
SPEAKER_05: Probably gonna regret that.
9:06
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
9:07
SPEAKER_05: Alright?
9:08
SPEAKER_05: Making eye contact with that guy on the bus who's talking to himself, probably not a good idea.
9:14
SPEAKER_05: And uh for me, stepping on the bathroom scale.
9:18
SPEAKER_05: Regrets.
9:19
SPEAKER_05: We all have them.
9:20
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
9:21
SPEAKER_05: So, anyway, listen, we got a great show for you tonight.
9:23
SPEAKER_05: Mancourt is back, Red Foreman Awards uh back along with a uh new segment called Open Season tonight.
9:30
SPEAKER_05: Uh, tell us where you're watching from.
9:32
SPEAKER_05: Join the show anytime by commenting because uh this shooting match is live.
9:37
SPEAKER_05: And uh give us a like, turn on the notification bell, all of that other happy course crap.
9:42
SPEAKER_05: Subscribe.
9:42
SPEAKER_05: Welcome to season six, the premiere.
9:46
SPEAKER_05: Episode one.
9:47
SPEAKER_05: This, my friends, is the Alpha Med Podcast.
9:51
SPEAKER_02: And now, men splaining the news.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: Tuesday night update.
9:59
SPEAKER_05: Ron from Ohio says, well, Ron's wife from Ohio, Michelle, says, his gallbladder.
10:06
SPEAKER_05: He was gonna make jewelry out of it.
10:09
SPEAKER_07: That's that's that's crazy.
10:11
SPEAKER_05: Weird.
10:13
SPEAKER_05: Just weird.
10:14
SPEAKER_05: All right, uh, good evening.
10:16
SPEAKER_05: Here's what happened this week.
10:17
SPEAKER_05: Uh, we welcome the first day of fall, right?
10:20
SPEAKER_05: Technically, it's called the Autumn Equinox, but uh nobody says that because they don't want to get their ass kicked.
10:26
unknown: You know what I mean?
10:28
SPEAKER_05: Uh soon the vacant lot on your street will become a pumpkin patch, then a Christmas tree lot, and then back to that homeless encampment that you love for the rest of the year.
10:37
SPEAKER_05: You know?
10:38
SPEAKER_05: President Trump this week banned CNN, MS Now, and Politico from the White House for being fake news.
10:45
SPEAKER_05: Then after a judge's order, CNN was allowed to come back.
10:48
SPEAKER_05: Say if it hadn't worked out, Wolf Blitzer was planning to shave his beard and go undercover as a new reporter named Blitz Wolfer.
10:57
SPEAKER_05: Meanwhile, uh Trump says Iran doesn't, if they don't make a deal, he might blow up the entire country.
11:03
SPEAKER_05: But if they do make a deal, he'll upgrade them from total destruction to a firm handshake and a couple of MAGA hats.
11:11
SPEAKER_05: Do the deal, Iran.
11:12
SPEAKER_05: Just saying.
11:14
SPEAKER_05: Uh, the U.S.
11:15
SPEAKER_05: reached a security deal with Greenland this week.
11:17
SPEAKER_05: Denmark will allow the U.S.
11:18
SPEAKER_05: military to build two more bases in exchange for President Trump promising not to name it Trump land.
11:27
SPEAKER_05: Diesel prices continue to rise.
11:30
SPEAKER_05: You know?
11:31
SPEAKER_05: Uh no wonder that woman is naked on the trucker mud flaps.
11:35
SPEAKER_05: I can't even buy to buy her clothes.
11:38
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
11:41
SPEAKER_05: The uh national debt of France nearing an all-time high.
11:45
SPEAKER_05: Uh that's the French for you.
11:46
SPEAKER_05: I even they even surrender their credit cards.
11:49
SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's yeah.
11:51
SPEAKER_05: New documentary about Elon Musk is over 240 minutes long.
11:57
SPEAKER_05: They spent a minute interviewing each one of his kids.
12:00
SPEAKER_05: So uh 240 minutes.
12:03
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
12:03
SPEAKER_05: MIT has been named the nation's top college.
12:07
SPEAKER_05: The uh nation's bottom college is uh Grinder University.
12:14
SPEAKER_05: Peloton unveiled a new foldable treadmill this week.
12:19
SPEAKER_05: Now, if you're keeping track of things in fold in half, there's a new iPhone with this treadmill, and Jackson Dart's leg.
12:29
SPEAKER_06: Shut up.
12:30
SPEAKER_05: Just shut up.
12:31
SPEAKER_05: Shut up.
12:33
SPEAKER_05: According to a new study, men are skipping showers to attract women with their body odor.
12:41
SPEAKER_07: What the hell is going on?
12:44
SPEAKER_07: Our generation.
12:45
SPEAKER_05: It sounds great until they leave you for a homeless guy.
12:48
SPEAKER_05: I'm just saying.
12:49
SPEAKER_05: You know?
12:50
SPEAKER_05: Shocktop has introduced a new candy corn beer this week.
12:55
SPEAKER_05: They recommend you serve it anytime you want all of your guests to leave.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: I like candy corn, but I'm not like beer.
13:07
SPEAKER_05: Um according to a new s uh sorry, uh Slim Jim, measuring 429 feet, broke the world record for the longest meat snack.
13:17
SPEAKER_05: 70 pounds of pure American processed beef.
13:21
SPEAKER_05: Or as Joy Behart calls it, uh a light snack before bed.
13:28
SPEAKER_05: Uh AI giving people bad health information.
13:31
SPEAKER_05: That's in the news this week.
13:33
SPEAKER_05: For instance, John told his chatbot that he was having backbone issues, and it said, have you considered the possibility that you're Ed Sheeran?
13:43
SPEAKER_05: Show him his news! George Lucas Museum now open in Los Angeles.
13:48
SPEAKER_05: Uh 20 years from now, he will ruin it by building a prequel museum.
13:54
SPEAKER_05: But um, if you visit the snack bar, be sure to buy the Boba Fettuccini, Darth Taters, and the Millennial Falcon Corn on the Cup.
14:07
SPEAKER_05: There you go.
14:08
SPEAKER_05: Darth Taters.
14:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
14:10
SPEAKER_05: Taylor Swift is gonna receive the uh annual inaugural artist director honors.
14:15
SPEAKER_05: She did so the other night at the MTV Video Music Awards.
14:19
SPEAKER_05: Uh during the presentation, they say they periodically cut to football players watching from the audience.
14:27
SPEAKER_04: That's so it's because every time you're watching football, you get to see Taylor Swift watching.
14:34
SPEAKER_04: Well, it's crazy.
14:36
SPEAKER_07: So we were watching the we were watching the Cowboys game and I switched over the to the VMAs after it ended, and somebody said Tara Swift's there on the thing.
14:44
SPEAKER_07: I'm like, she's not there.
14:45
SPEAKER_07: She was with Travis at the Chiefs game.
14:49
SPEAKER_09: Yeah.
14:49
SPEAKER_07: She wasn't there.
14:50
SPEAKER_07: I couldn't believe it.
14:51
SPEAKER_07: So how what did they talk about?
14:53
SPEAKER_05: By the way, uh Swift is selling three different versions of her new single, plus a re-release of her last album.
15:00
SPEAKER_05: I don't know how long she can get away with selling the same music over and over again, but hell, it worked for Nickelback, so who knows?
15:08
SPEAKER_05: Paramount Studios may relocate from Los Angeles to Nashville.
15:12
SPEAKER_05: They say the uh result would end oh the the end result would be the loss of thousands of jobs.
15:20
SPEAKER_05: And uh that's just the plastic surgeons.
15:24
SPEAKER_05: Kim Kardashian diagnosed with inflamed esophagus.
15:29
SPEAKER_05: Doctors recommend that she suck on ice.
15:35
SPEAKER_06: I knew where that was good where that was going.
15:37
SPEAKER_05: Hey, you went there, not me.
15:38
SPEAKER_05: I'm just saying.
15:43
SPEAKER_05: A uh movie is in the works about uh the start of Hooters.
15:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because who deserves a biopic?
15:52
SPEAKER_05: A guy who said, hey, let's open an Applebee's with boobs.
15:57
SPEAKER_04: Actually, I'm probably gonna watch that.
16:01
SPEAKER_05: Finally, a uh new well, I like the atmosphere.
16:04
SPEAKER_05: I liked a new peacock documentary suggests O.J.
16:10
SPEAKER_05: Simpson had help committing the murders of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman.
16:15
SPEAKER_05: His accomplice?
16:17
SPEAKER_05: You guessed it.
16:19
SPEAKER_05: Ed Sheeran.
16:24
SPEAKER_05: That's been explaining the news tonight on the Alpha Men podcast.
16:28
SPEAKER_06: Oh, Lord.
16:48
SPEAKER_05: Random facts.
16:50
SPEAKER_05: Because you probably should learn something, right?
16:53
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
16:53
SPEAKER_05: We can't just do this show and and and have it be just all bullshit.
16:58
SPEAKER_05: Should be something true.
17:00
SPEAKER_05: True in a case.
17:00
SPEAKER_07: It's 100% true, you know.
17:01
SPEAKER_07: So welcome to my random facts here.
17:04
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
17:04
SPEAKER_07: Five random facts.
17:07
SPEAKER_07: Because even gathering of brothers, you should at least learn something today.
17:11
SPEAKER_05: So that's right.
17:11
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
17:12
SPEAKER_05: All right, here we go.
17:13
SPEAKER_07: All right, so the first fact it's kind of bizarre.
17:16
SPEAKER_07: Japanese people live really long lives.
17:20
SPEAKER_07: No, I mean everybody knows that.
17:22
SPEAKER_07: The birth rate in Japan is relatively low.
17:24
SPEAKER_07: So adult diapers outsell baby diapers in Japan.
17:28
SPEAKER_03: Really?
17:29
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
17:31
unknown: Wow.
17:32
SPEAKER_07: Is that weird?
17:33
SPEAKER_05: That's weird.
17:34
SPEAKER_05: That is weird.
17:36
SPEAKER_07: Over here.
17:38
SPEAKER_05: You go to the grocery store and there's like this whole aisle dedicated to baby diapers, and in Japan, like the whole aisle is like adult diapers.
17:44
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
17:45
SPEAKER_05: That's weird.
17:46
SPEAKER_05: All right.
17:47
SPEAKER_07: Alright, so fact number two.
17:49
SPEAKER_07: Pope John XII.
17:52
SPEAKER_07: The po the Pope from uh 955 AD uh to 964 AD.
17:57
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
17:58
SPEAKER_07: He was reportedly killed by a man who caught the Pope sleeping with his wife.
18:03
SPEAKER_04: Really?
18:05
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
18:06
SPEAKER_07: The Pope.
18:08
SPEAKER_07: He reportedly killed by a man Pope sleeping with his wife.
18:13
SPEAKER_05: I I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that he probably wasn't the best choice for Pope.
18:18
SPEAKER_05: I'm just you know probably not considered a real good Pope.
18:25
SPEAKER_07: For some reason, I just I thought the Pope was like Solomon.
18:29
SPEAKER_05: Well, they are.
18:31
SPEAKER_05: They are now.
18:33
SPEAKER_05: And they probably because of that.
18:35
SPEAKER_05: And they probably were back then too.
18:37
SPEAKER_05: But well, anyway.
18:40
SPEAKER_05: All right.
18:41
SPEAKER_07: All right.
18:42
SPEAKER_07: The the um 14 stadiums in America with the highest capacity are all college football stadiums, go figure, because you watch those, they're packed.
18:51
SPEAKER_09: Right.
18:51
SPEAKER_07: The 15th largest is MetLife Stadium in Jersey.
18:56
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
18:57
SPEAKER_07: Which is home to the Giants and Jets.
18:59
SPEAKER_05: Right.
19:00
SPEAKER_05: So which means they never sell out.
19:03
SPEAKER_05: So exactly.
19:05
SPEAKER_05: Especially on Jets.
19:06
SPEAKER_05: Especially when the Jets are home.
19:08
SPEAKER_07: Even though the Jets are doing better than the Giants.
19:10
SPEAKER_05: I know they are this year.
19:12
SPEAKER_05: But uh it's been it's been a rough uh it's been a long time since Joe Willie Namath.
19:17
SPEAKER_05: Just or uh not Joe Willie, um yeah, Joe Nameth.
19:20
SPEAKER_05: Joe Willie Namath, yeah.
19:21
SPEAKER_05: It's been a long time, yeah.
19:23
SPEAKER_07: It's been a long time.
19:25
SPEAKER_07: Uh so my last fact uh 1965, the Senate subcommittee predicted we'd be working just 14 hours a week by the year 2000.
19:35
SPEAKER_07: Bullshit.
19:37
SPEAKER_07: With at least seven weeks of vacation time.
19:40
SPEAKER_05: This is where Bernie Sanders gets his crap from.
19:43
SPEAKER_07: You know, you know, you know why they thought all that because technology, because technology would they thought it would make everything easier.
19:51
SPEAKER_05: Well, that's yeah, we are uh we are on the door of super intelligence.
19:58
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that may that may come to fruition.
20:00
SPEAKER_05: Who knows?
20:00
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
20:02
SPEAKER_07: I got one more fact.
20:03
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
20:04
SPEAKER_07: This one's pretty cool.
20:05
SPEAKER_07: The US military manufactured way too many purple heart metals during World War II.
20:11
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
20:11
SPEAKER_07: So when they were planning to the when when they were planning the invasion of Japan, so because they thought they're gonna need a lot more.
20:19
SPEAKER_05: They thought there'd be more injuries and casualties and stuff like that.
20:22
SPEAKER_07: So it turned out a good thing.
20:24
SPEAKER_05: So yeah.
20:25
SPEAKER_07: Um, so the purple hearts were awarded up until recently.
20:29
SPEAKER_07: They were still from that supply from World War II.
20:32
SPEAKER_07: They just started reproducing them in 2022.
20:36
SPEAKER_05: Holy cow.
20:37
SPEAKER_05: That's a long time to have that's a lot of purple hearts made.
20:42
SPEAKER_05: So uh all right, there you have it.
20:44
SPEAKER_05: John's random facts.
20:47
SPEAKER_05: Five random facts driven straight to your thick skull tonight.
20:51
SPEAKER_05: And uh see, you actually learned something.
20:54
unknown: Yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_05: Right here on the Alpha Met podcast.
20:56
SPEAKER_07: I wonder if my purple heart I have I don't have mine, but I have a purple heart here.
20:59
SPEAKER_07: I wonder if it's one of the World War II batch.
21:02
SPEAKER_05: You have a purple heart?
21:04
SPEAKER_07: I do not.
21:05
SPEAKER_07: I do not know.
21:06
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
21:06
SPEAKER_07: I have I have one here on my display that I got uh years ago from an auction, and I decided to want to throw it away, so I kept it.
21:14
SPEAKER_05: Right.
21:16
SPEAKER_05: John John was all involved in the invasion of Granada.
21:19
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
21:21
SPEAKER_07: All right, let's go to my open season.
21:49
SPEAKER_05: He's officially open.
21:50
SPEAKER_05: Nothing protected, no topic gets a free pass, no sacred cows, no participation trophies.
21:56
SPEAKER_05: If it moves, we're shooting at it tonight and we're shooting from the hip.
21:59
SPEAKER_05: All right, no.
22:00
SPEAKER_05: Scripts.
22:01
SPEAKER_05: We've got uh targets tonight, four of them.
22:04
SPEAKER_05: All right.
22:05
SPEAKER_05: And we're gonna try this every week.
22:07
SPEAKER_05: Uh our topics tonight are we should like have a wheel that we spin or something.
22:12
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
22:17
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
22:17
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we should do we should do that.
22:19
SPEAKER_05: But uh we're not gonna do that this week.
22:21
SPEAKER_05: Uh the White House uh treating the press like an enemy combatant.
22:27
SPEAKER_05: Uh weather guys should just uh ghost the entire dating market.
22:32
SPEAKER_05: Hollywood is having a full midlife crisis, and AI agents slowly eyeing your job like it's the last beer in the fridge.
22:42
SPEAKER_05: So uh here's the deal we're not doing this alone.
22:44
SPEAKER_05: We invite you to comment, drop your hottest takes in the comments.
22:47
SPEAKER_05: You can do it right now, and uh they will show up on the screen live.
22:51
SPEAKER_05: Pick a side, pick a target, call us out, defend the indefensible, doesn't matter.
22:56
SPEAKER_05: No warm-up, no disclaimers.
22:58
SPEAKER_05: The season is open, and we're going hunting.
23:01
SPEAKER_05: Let's get into it.
23:02
SPEAKER_05: All right, so this week, the big story is uh Trump, you know, an enemy to democracy and free speech, and he's locked our our um he's he's he's banned our free press of the from the press poll.
23:21
SPEAKER_05: Okay, which he did not do, by the way.
23:25
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
23:26
SPEAKER_05: If you go back and you look at the number of press credentials canceled, see, I love our selective outrage when it comes to Trump.
23:36
SPEAKER_05: Okay?
23:37
SPEAKER_05: Barack Obama canceled over 200 press credentials in his administration.
23:44
SPEAKER_05: Joe Biden canceled over 400 press credentials in his administration.
23:50
SPEAKER_07: But as an organization, did he cancel them?
23:54
SPEAKER_05: Well, but they haven't been canceled.
23:57
unknown: Okay.
23:58
SPEAKER_07: Sounds like it sounds like it wasn't canceled.
24:00
SPEAKER_05: Well, here's the deal.
24:01
SPEAKER_05: If they were canceled, Trump would say CNN Politico and uh MSDNC or MS Now, whatever they're calling themselves today.
24:12
SPEAKER_05: All right.
24:13
SPEAKER_05: If you report on me, I am going to arrest you and throw you in jail.
24:18
SPEAKER_05: This to me is that's well, that's banning.
24:22
SPEAKER_05: Okay?
24:23
SPEAKER_05: Trump didn't say that CNN and Politico and MS Now couldn't report on the White House.
24:32
SPEAKER_05: He didn't say they could could they had to stop covering the president.
24:36
SPEAKER_05: He just said, you're not gonna do it from my home using unverified sources and present a complete agenda every time you report something.
24:49
SPEAKER_07: Okay, so then for their side of the coin of that, let me because you know where I stand on this whole thing.
24:53
SPEAKER_07: I think it's stupid.
24:54
SPEAKER_07: I think the they should they should press should be able to do their thing no matter what.
24:58
SPEAKER_07: And I am not a conservative at all, but let's put it from this other side of the coin.
25:02
SPEAKER_07: Would you give would you give the next president, if it could be a Democrat would say, or two presidents from now or whatever, um, would you give the next same power to exclude like Fox or any other conservative outlet?
25:13
SPEAKER_05: He's not excluding anyone.
25:15
SPEAKER_05: They're still free to report all the garbage that they've been reporting.
25:19
SPEAKER_05: They're just not gonna do it from the from the White House press briefing room.
25:24
SPEAKER_07: And I and well, they they should be entitled to it.
25:26
SPEAKER_07: I mean, I mean, yes, CNN can piss me off.
25:28
SPEAKER_07: I can't stand CNN.
25:29
SPEAKER_07: They piss me off a lot.
25:30
SPEAKER_05: So here's the deal.
25:31
SPEAKER_05: Let's let's think about it for a second.
25:32
SPEAKER_05: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
25:33
SPEAKER_05: Let's just stop a second.
25:35
SPEAKER_05: Let's think about it for a second.
25:36
SPEAKER_05: Let's think about all the things that CNN and MS Now and Political and frankly the Wall Street Journal should be in there as well.
25:45
SPEAKER_05: Or uh The New York Times, sorry.
25:47
SPEAKER_05: All the things that they've been wrong about.
25:50
unknown: Yeah.
25:51
SPEAKER_05: COVID, Hunter Biden laptop, uh, you know, Russia, Russia, Russia.
25:57
SPEAKER_05: All of this stuff.
25:58
SPEAKER_05: And it's all every time they report something, it's an unnamed source.
26:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know who the hell your unnamed source is?
26:07
SPEAKER_05: Joe, your cameraman.
26:08
SPEAKER_05: Okay?
26:09
SPEAKER_05: That's the unnamed source.
26:11
SPEAKER_05: And they're making crap up.
26:13
SPEAKER_05: All right.
26:14
SPEAKER_05: And so the American people deserve a free press.
26:18
SPEAKER_05: You are correct.
26:19
SPEAKER_05: I was a member, I was a member of the media for decades.
26:23
SPEAKER_05: I know how this, I know how the sausage is made.
26:26
SPEAKER_07: But they they challenge, they challenge their story and their own narrative.
26:29
SPEAKER_07: I do agree that a lot of the shit is bullshit, but they challenge the story.
26:33
SPEAKER_07: They show their evidence.
26:34
SPEAKER_07: Sometimes it's factual, sometimes it can be infactual.
26:37
SPEAKER_07: And I'm factual, fake.
26:38
SPEAKER_05: Um the stuff that he's complaining about has been 100% infactual.
26:46
SPEAKER_07: I don't think the president should decide who is in the White House.
26:48
SPEAKER_05: And so at the end of the day, what is the White House?
26:53
SPEAKER_05: It is the people's house.
26:55
SPEAKER_05: It's uh it's his residence.
26:58
SPEAKER_05: No, he hasn't responsible.
26:59
SPEAKER_05: Well, it is it it it's it's his residence.
27:01
SPEAKER_05: He lives in the White House.
27:03
SPEAKER_05: It's his residence.
27:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he does live in the White House.
27:08
SPEAKER_07: He does.
27:09
SPEAKER_07: He lives on the resident side of the White House.
27:11
SPEAKER_07: He does not live in the Oval Office.
27:12
SPEAKER_07: The Oval Office is not his house.
27:14
SPEAKER_05: All right.
27:15
SPEAKER_05: Well, he didn't ban he didn't ban him from the Oval Office.
27:18
SPEAKER_07: He banned him this is how I look at this whole thing.
27:20
SPEAKER_07: Because in the end, I I am more Republican than Democrat.
27:25
SPEAKER_07: And I do support the president.
27:26
SPEAKER_07: A lot of us should some stuff.
27:27
SPEAKER_07: But that's how I look at it.
27:29
SPEAKER_07: My one one little point.
27:30
SPEAKER_07: And I I saw this and I was like, this makes perfect sense.
27:34
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
27:35
SPEAKER_07: You can't you can't kick a ref you can't you don't get to kick the referee out because you don't like the call.
27:41
SPEAKER_05: Well, you do if the referees made 7,000 bad calls and is clearly sticking his hand on his scale.
27:49
SPEAKER_07: Freedom of press.
27:50
SPEAKER_05: No, no, no.
27:51
SPEAKER_05: You you look look, let me let me ask you this.
27:54
SPEAKER_05: Has the NFL ever replaced a uh a referee in a game?
27:58
SPEAKER_05: Yes, have they ever fired referees after the game?
28:01
SPEAKER_05: Yes, yes, okay, all right.
28:04
SPEAKER_05: So here's the deal: you can go through 7,000 different stories and see the complete lies and bullshit and unverified, unfact-checked, unjust bullshit that they're creating.
28:21
SPEAKER_05: Okay, and his point is I believe in a free press, but it should be a truthful press, and they shouldn't be able to come in here and lie to the American people to create an agenda that helps the Democrats.
28:37
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
28:38
SPEAKER_05: Because that's what they're doing.
28:39
SPEAKER_07: I I do agree, I do agree with the point of it, but they still they should be allowed to do their coverage just like Fox and everybody else.
28:46
SPEAKER_05: All right, so here's the deal.
28:48
SPEAKER_05: Here's the deal.
28:50
SPEAKER_05: Um this week Trump also launches Trump TV, right?
28:55
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, go figure.
28:57
SPEAKER_05: And and everybody goes nuts.
28:59
SPEAKER_05: Why do you suppose he did that?
29:02
SPEAKER_05: Because that's Trump.
29:05
SPEAKER_05: He likes me being do you um do you recognize that Trump TV launched right after he threw the folks out of the White House briefing room or out of the out of the pool?
29:18
SPEAKER_05: All of a sudden, you're right, okay.
29:20
SPEAKER_05: So all of a sudden everybody's like, he's using taxpayer money to create state television, and it's uh it's an attack on our democracy and all this other stuff.
29:33
SPEAKER_05: And you're like, okay, all right, listen, all right.
29:37
SPEAKER_05: Uh uh take a deep breath, okay?
29:41
SPEAKER_05: Because Trump TV is a YouTube channel, nothing more, nothing less.
29:47
SPEAKER_06: Well, I'm all right.
29:48
SPEAKER_05: Guess what?
29:48
SPEAKER_05: It's guess what?
29:51
SPEAKER_05: Guess what?
29:53
SPEAKER_05: Every politician in the United States has a YouTube channel and uses that channel to get their agenda out to their constituents and to get there.
30:06
SPEAKER_05: But for some reason, if Trump does it, it's terrible.
30:10
SPEAKER_05: And, you know, it's not lost on me that he named it Trump TV, specifically why.
30:17
SPEAKER_05: Because he knew they'd take the bait, because they take the bait every single time, and you know what?
30:24
SPEAKER_05: The amount of advertising he got for his YouTube channel, absolutely free by liberal left-wing wing nuts melting down all over the place.
30:35
SPEAKER_07: Oh, it's good marketing.
30:36
SPEAKER_07: Hands down.
30:37
SPEAKER_05: You couldn't pay for that kind of marketing, okay?
30:40
SPEAKER_05: And and but but at the end of the day, it's not state TV, it's not a TV network, it's a YouTube channel, just like every other politician has.
30:57
SPEAKER_07: I get why he's doing it.
30:58
SPEAKER_07: I know against I'm not against the whole Trump TV thing at all.
31:01
SPEAKER_07: It's great.
31:02
SPEAKER_07: I mean, that's another venue for him to this thing.
31:04
SPEAKER_09: All right, moving on.
31:06
SPEAKER_07: But the end of the end, in the end, he's he's faulting the news for you know, being full of crap.
31:12
SPEAKER_07: And if being full of crap is disqualified people from Washington, Washington, DC would be empty.
31:19
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
31:19
SPEAKER_05: The media in this country has a worse approval rating than Congress, and Congress's approval rating is 11%.
31:27
SPEAKER_07: I'm just saying, if the news is full of crap as much as the politicians are, DC would be empty by lunch.
31:33
SPEAKER_05: Look, and here's the deal Trump knows he's not gonna win in court.
31:37
SPEAKER_05: He knows this is gonna go to court, and he knows it's not it's gonna get he knows he's not gonna win.
31:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he doesn't care.
31:45
SPEAKER_05: He he's made his point.
31:47
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
31:48
SPEAKER_05: By by doing it, he's made his point.
31:51
SPEAKER_05: And and and there you go.
31:53
SPEAKER_05: So all right, moving on.
31:56
SPEAKER_07: Next topic.
31:58
SPEAKER_07: Huh?
31:58
SPEAKER_07: What's it next topic or are we going to keep going with this?
32:01
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we're we're moving on to the next topic.
32:03
SPEAKER_05: Here's the deal.
32:05
SPEAKER_05: Um guys are ghosting, young men are ghosting the entire dating market.
32:14
SPEAKER_05: Right now.
32:16
SPEAKER_07: Like, there's a qualified answer to this stuff.
32:19
SPEAKER_05: There's a survey out there that suggests that more than one third of men under twenty f uh under twenty-five have never asked a woman out.
32:37
SPEAKER_05: A third.
32:41
SPEAKER_05: And now we get this story where like in some cases guys are stopping showering to attract women, which is nuts.
32:50
SPEAKER_05: Dude, if you stink, you stink.
32:52
SPEAKER_05: Alright?
32:53
SPEAKER_05: Take a shower.
32:55
SPEAKER_05: You get you get bees with honey, not with body odor.
32:59
unknown: Okay.
33:00
SPEAKER_05: I mean, that's that's just the way that it goes.
33:03
SPEAKER_05: But they call it something like pheromone maxing.
33:08
SPEAKER_05: Like every everything's maxing now, right?
33:10
SPEAKER_07: I want to s I want to smell my fucking Faninda cheese.
33:14
SPEAKER_05: And and and here's the deal.
33:15
SPEAKER_05: I'm so glad I'm done with this part of my life.
33:18
SPEAKER_05: And honestly, I I can I understand why young men don't want anything to do with it.
33:29
SPEAKER_07: Maybe because there's because what they're probably focused on money, health, or career, hobbies, friends without committing committing.
33:35
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah.
33:36
SPEAKER_05: Well, as a married guy of 25 years, and I love my wife to pieces.
33:42
SPEAKER_05: I do.
33:43
SPEAKER_05: Same.
33:44
SPEAKER_05: But uh, if I wasn't married, I'd probably have a bass boat.
33:50
SPEAKER_05: I'm just saying.
33:51
SPEAKER_07: I would have a nice truck with a bass boat out there too.
33:53
SPEAKER_07: I agree.
33:55
SPEAKER_05: And and and a lot of guys are going, you know what?
34:00
SPEAKER_05: I can't be too masculine, I can't be too feminine, I can't I uh like this whole believe every woman thing.
34:08
SPEAKER_05: I gotta get consent.
34:09
SPEAKER_05: I can find myself legally in trouble.
34:12
SPEAKER_05: And at some point you go, screw it, this isn't worth it anymore.
34:18
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
34:20
SPEAKER_05: And and that's what's happening.
34:22
SPEAKER_05: But I don't you know what you're right.
34:24
SPEAKER_05: I don't think I don't think we're qualified to be talking about this.
34:28
SPEAKER_07: No, we're not.
34:29
SPEAKER_07: I mean, pretty much what you just summed up is Tinder has turned romance into DoorDash with emotional damage.
34:35
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, that's pretty much that's what you turned, that's what this whole thing's about.
34:39
SPEAKER_05: Well, and the other thing is the other thing is without showers, the other thing is the whole consent thing.
34:45
SPEAKER_05: You know, nowadays it anybody can say anything.
34:49
SPEAKER_05: Well, I told them no.
34:52
SPEAKER_05: And I think guys are like, yeah, I'm not I'm not wading into that.
34:56
SPEAKER_05: Uh I'm not I'm not putting the hoop hip boots on and wading into those waters.
35:00
SPEAKER_05: I'm not getting anywhere close to that, you know.
35:03
SPEAKER_07: So so they would rather sit there scrolling on their phones than ripping a shirt off somebody.
35:08
SPEAKER_05: Well, yeah.
35:10
unknown: Wow.
35:11
SPEAKER_05: I will tell you that uh young men live in an age now where pornography is essentially free.
35:21
SPEAKER_05: That's true.
35:22
SPEAKER_07: You know, I can't argue that.
35:24
SPEAKER_05: I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's anywhere close to the same thing, but I will tell you that uh that that plays into all of this.
35:34
SPEAKER_05: That's all there is to it.
35:37
SPEAKER_05: Um, yeah.
35:38
SPEAKER_05: So Hollywood having a full midlife crisis.
35:44
SPEAKER_05: They're talking about Paramount Pictures leaving California, leaving Hollywood to move to Nashville, Tennessee.
35:57
SPEAKER_07: So why?
36:01
SPEAKER_07: Everything's going to Nashville.
36:03
SPEAKER_07: I why do you think so?
36:06
SPEAKER_07: I did a little research on this because you next time we won't do a little research, but because I had to do a little research on this one because I was kind of stumped on the Hollywood dying thing because I didn't know much about it.
36:14
SPEAKER_07: I don't watch a lot of TV and stuff.
36:15
SPEAKER_04: Right.
36:16
SPEAKER_07: Um, so little numbers I found was the Greater LA logged 4,711 on-location shoots in quarter two in 2026.
36:24
SPEAKER_07: Yep.
36:25
SPEAKER_07: That's I guess it's down by 12.7% over the year.
36:28
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
36:28
SPEAKER_07: To me, that's just numbers.
36:30
SPEAKER_07: Yep.
36:32
SPEAKER_07: Nashville or the Tennessee area alone had almost 6,700 shoots.
36:39
SPEAKER_05: Why do you think that is?
36:40
SPEAKER_07: I don't know what I don't understand.
36:43
SPEAKER_05: Because the taxes and the crap that the state of California puts on the movie industry, it's too expensive to make anything in California, including trains to nowhere.
36:54
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, well, that's explains why they do a lot of film in Georgia, that, because there's a massive tax breaks for productions.
37:00
SPEAKER_05: Lots of stuff in Toronto, lots of stuff up in Canada.
37:04
SPEAKER_05: They're shooting all over.
37:05
SPEAKER_05: A lot of the movies that you watch on tele on uh in the movie theater were shot in Canada because it's cheaper.
37:12
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
37:13
SPEAKER_05: And then, like, um, who was well, we were talking about it last night.
37:16
SPEAKER_05: The Walking Dead.
37:18
SPEAKER_05: The Walking Dead shot in Georgia, um, because it was way, way cheaper than shooting in Hollywood, you know.
37:25
SPEAKER_05: Uh, and they built it in the not only do they shoot in Georgia, they built a whole movie production studio in Georgia to support just that one television show, and it was cheaper than doing anything on the lots in California because they have absolutely destroyed that state.
37:43
SPEAKER_05: And I don't think there's anything that's gonna keep Hollywood there, especially in this age of where um you really can shoot a movie anywhere these days, yeah, and you're gonna see uh AI, excuse me, super intelligence.
38:03
SPEAKER_05: You're gonna see super intelligence uh take a lot of acting jobs, take a lot of movie production jobs.
38:11
SPEAKER_05: You know, there is gonna be a point in time, mark my words, within the next 15 years, that there may be one or two actors in a movie you watch, and every other extra in person around them and like secondary characters in the movie, it's gonna be are not gonna be even real people.
38:31
SPEAKER_07: All right, they're gonna be You look at the look like Spider-Man, it's been rebooted more times than my home router.
38:37
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I mean it's it's they're just keep they'll venture half AI Spider-Man, AI Batman, and then you go to you go to the the fact that theaters are dying, going to the movies is dying, now we're we're releasing movies straight to streaming services like Netflix and everything else, yeah.
38:56
SPEAKER_05: And so the money is gonna come out of Hollywood as well, and it's not gonna be as profitable, and so the movie industry is saying, okay, we can stay here in California, pay these crazy high taxes, or we can find somewhere much more affordable to live and do our business.
39:17
SPEAKER_05: And that's what they're doing.
39:18
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, they have to.
39:19
SPEAKER_07: I mean, because you gotta finance, you know, just to go to the movies with two kids.
39:23
SPEAKER_07: I mean, that's insane.
39:25
SPEAKER_05: Last topic AI agents slowly eyeing your job like it's the last beer in the fridge.
39:33
SPEAKER_05: Um so this week we launched Grock Bots, Elon Musk, and now not only do you have super intelligence, but you have super intelligent bots that become like your staff.
39:53
SPEAKER_05: And you you can give them all the bots' names and responsibilities.
39:59
SPEAKER_05: So, like you could have five or six bots and have them all have different responsibilities and just have them do your job.
40:11
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
40:12
SPEAKER_07: Um see it's hard to make us from what I do now.
40:17
SPEAKER_07: But uh you're you're gonna you're not gonna have you're not gonna have AI climb a ladder.
40:24
SPEAKER_07: No, you're not gonna have AI build the cabling for those facilities.
40:29
SPEAKER_07: Right.
40:29
SPEAKER_07: And I'm talking I'm talking about data science in general, because that's what I do now.
40:33
SPEAKER_07: But uh you're not gonna have somebody give them that that that debit card from the Salvation Army.
40:40
SPEAKER_09: Yeah.
40:41
SPEAKER_07: So I mean you're not gonna have somebody you can have somebody work on your car that's AI.
40:46
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, that's easy.
40:47
SPEAKER_07: Plug in it, you know, the change of parts, robot arms, do all that stuff.
40:50
SPEAKER_05: No, it's gonna be a lot of white-collar jobs.
40:52
SPEAKER_07: There will be a ton of white-collar jobs that sorting papers, putting stuff in boxes, yes, it's gonna hurt the industry for jobs and warehouses.
41:02
SPEAKER_05: The other thing you have to consider is not just sorting papers, dude.
41:06
SPEAKER_05: What about like attorneys?
41:08
SPEAKER_05: If you have super intelligence and you put into the computer, hey, listen, I was arrested for this and I need an attorney.
41:19
SPEAKER_05: Can you build a case for me?
41:22
SPEAKER_05: Right?
41:23
SPEAKER_07: It could build a case, yes, but can it can will the constitution allow AI?
41:29
SPEAKER_05: Well, yeah, I mean, that's the thing.
41:30
SPEAKER_05: All right, all of our laws are gonna change over the next 15 years or something.
41:34
SPEAKER_05: However, because data centers are so popular right now, which is no big deal because everyone since the 80s.
41:43
SPEAKER_05: Because of the popularity of data centers and how much Americans love to talk about data centers, I'm glad you readily admitted for the sake of the show and building audience that you do data centers now.
41:56
SPEAKER_07: Well, just say it.
41:57
SPEAKER_05: No, I I know I'm just teasing.
41:59
SPEAKER_07: But the the reality is but without without the data centers, what should bring out since the 80s reminds you.
42:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
42:06
SPEAKER_07: The only reason they're huge right now is because we need all this cloud space, we need we need all this, you know, fast streaming, fiber internet, and without data centers, which are better since the 80s, we're not having this.
42:20
SPEAKER_07: We wouldn't be doing this show right now.
42:22
SPEAKER_05: I had a guy in high school, a friend of mine, who had a Volkswagen van.
42:27
SPEAKER_05: There was all kinds of cloud space inside that thing, man.
42:31
SPEAKER_07: You know, you remember the dial you remember dial up internet?
42:36
SPEAKER_05: I do, 9600 mod.
42:39
SPEAKER_07: What do you what do you think that what do you think that came from?
42:41
SPEAKER_07: Somebody's router, you know, sitting in uh in a in a building in downtown New York City?
42:47
SPEAKER_07: No, it came from a data center.
42:49
SPEAKER_05: No, Al Gore invented it.
42:51
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, no, it came from a data center.
42:54
SPEAKER_07: Most most actual actual fact, most of those AOL sounds, whatever, the the actual program, came out of a data center in Oklahoma, across the country.
43:06
SPEAKER_05: Here's the deal.
43:07
SPEAKER_05: My daughter in Ohio calls me all the time.
43:09
SPEAKER_05: She gets all fired up about this.
43:12
SPEAKER_05: And she's like, they're gonna raise the cost of our electricity, they're gonna uh, you know, they're gonna use all our water, our water bills are gonna go up, there's all this other stuff, and and and I and I have to say to her, okay, I I get it, but there's a ton of disinformation out there, honey, about the lots of it, lots of it, and a lot of it's being paid for by China because the bottom line is the president's right when it comes to superintelligence and AI.
43:46
SPEAKER_05: If we don't win this battle, we're done.
43:49
SPEAKER_05: I mean, it we we have to win it, okay?
43:52
SPEAKER_07: It's not yeah, we have to win.
43:55
SPEAKER_07: If we don't want to date it, if go ahead.
43:57
SPEAKER_05: Well, I just I'm just saying.
44:00
SPEAKER_05: We have to win.
44:02
SPEAKER_05: And if we don't win, uh, we're no longer the world superpower.
44:08
SPEAKER_07: Uh we wouldn't have Netflix.
44:11
SPEAKER_05: And we have to be the world's superpower.
44:13
SPEAKER_07: We wouldn't have Netflix.
44:14
SPEAKER_07: You wouldn't have a cell phone.
44:16
SPEAKER_07: You wouldn't have anything.
44:16
SPEAKER_05: And China, a lot of the disinformation campaigns out there that are happening around uh AI and superintelligence are being paid for by China.
44:27
SPEAKER_05: Because they want to win the AI race.
44:29
SPEAKER_05: And that's that's the deal.
44:32
SPEAKER_05: So um I get it.
44:37
SPEAKER_05: You know, it's true.
44:39
SPEAKER_07: Talk about the water and all that usage and stuff.
44:42
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
44:43
SPEAKER_07: 98% of data centers are the same as a radio radio in your car.
44:47
SPEAKER_07: They're self-control controlled.
44:49
SPEAKER_05: And that's the thing.
44:50
SPEAKER_05: And that's the thing.
44:51
SPEAKER_05: The president passed a law saying they could generate their own power.
44:55
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
44:56
SPEAKER_05: Like, like, so you're gonna see that happen.
44:59
SPEAKER_05: And um, I get it.
45:01
SPEAKER_05: I mean, when I was a kid, I grew up in a little town called Turbentville, Pennsylvania, okay?
45:07
SPEAKER_05: And back in the uh 90s, there was a company called USPCI Allenwood.
45:14
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
45:14
SPEAKER_05: Now, Allenwood, Pennsylvania is home to the big house, one of the largest federal penitentiary complexes in the United States.
45:23
SPEAKER_05: There are three prisons in Allenwood.
45:25
SPEAKER_05: There's a maximum, a minimum, and a medium security prison all in one complex.
45:30
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
45:31
SPEAKER_05: And right across the street from that prison, this company called USPCI bought us, bought some land and they wanted to build a hazardous waste incinerator.
45:44
SPEAKER_05: Okay?
45:45
SPEAKER_09: Yeah.
45:46
SPEAKER_05: Not necessarily something that you live, if you live in Allenwood, Pennsylvania, that you want in your backyard.
45:54
SPEAKER_05: Right?
45:55
SPEAKER_05: Keep this in mind, there's the largest federal federal penitentiary across the street, and U.S.
46:02
SPEAKER_05: Route 11 that runs through Allenwood is one of the most dangerous highways in the Northeast.
46:08
SPEAKER_05: Not to mention the fact that the rail and train stuff runs right along the Susquehanna River where they wanted to transport all of this waste into Allenwood.
46:19
SPEAKER_05: So people went crazy.
46:21
SPEAKER_05: They launched a huge campaign.
46:22
SPEAKER_05: Ban the burner, ban the burner.
46:24
SPEAKER_05: And because I was a young, dumb high school student who was all about fight the power, right?
46:32
SPEAKER_05: I was a part of that movement.
46:34
SPEAKER_05: I was actually I was actually on uh uh NBC on their morning show, interviewed when I was in high school about ban about ban the burner.
46:45
SPEAKER_05: Man, if you'd have seen that report, you'd have thought, who the hell is that leftist?
46:49
SPEAKER_05: You know, but it was it was like 1989-1990.
46:54
SPEAKER_05: So the point I'm making is when it comes to this stuff, yeah, nobody wants to wants it in their backyard.
47:03
SPEAKER_05: Nobody.
47:06
SPEAKER_05: But it's gotta go somewhere.
47:09
SPEAKER_05: All right, and till Elon Musk can figure out how to put it in space, it's gotta go somewhere and we gotta win.
47:18
SPEAKER_05: So that's that.
47:21
SPEAKER_05: You know?
47:24
SPEAKER_05: Um yeah.
47:27
SPEAKER_05: That is uh open season tonight.
47:29
SPEAKER_05: Four topics.
47:30
SPEAKER_05: We got through it.
47:31
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, we did.
47:32
SPEAKER_07: We didn't do it, John.
47:33
SPEAKER_05: I'm not sure that not sure that we won or lost anybody, but um, we did it.
47:39
SPEAKER_05: Open season on the Alphabet podcast.
49:08
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to man court, where bad decisions are put on trial and common sense is the only law we pretend to follow.
49:15
SPEAKER_01: Step forward and plead your case.
49:17
SPEAKER_01: Just know the verdict was probably decided before you started talking.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: Switching.
49:29
SPEAKER_05: The wig is back.
49:30
unknown: The wig.
49:32
SPEAKER_07: I should get what I should get a little fake badge cop hat and just be like mancourt back in session.
49:41
SPEAKER_05: I am the uh sometimes honorable TJ Michaels presiding.
49:44
SPEAKER_05: And uh listen, uh we uh we uh take your domestic disputes, isn't that right, Beard of Justice?
49:50
SPEAKER_07: We are we're here.
49:51
SPEAKER_07: Uh so you guys can join us um join us in the comments, whatever you maybe watch tonight, and give our plaintiff your advice once we uh get this once we get this uh documented.
50:04
SPEAKER_05: You get to join the freak jury if you've got a problem that needs solving.
50:07
SPEAKER_05: You can visit any of our social media pages and drop your man court dilemma into on a uh DM to us.
50:13
SPEAKER_05: And um listen, just comment wherever you may be watching from tonight, give uh our plaintiff your advice.
50:18
SPEAKER_05: Uh John, what is our case tonight?
50:21
SPEAKER_07: Uh it's gonna be docked at 260-929.
50:24
SPEAKER_05: All right.
50:25
SPEAKER_07: Um our plaintiff is Mike from Scranton, Pennsylvania.
50:29
SPEAKER_07: Steam Town.
50:30
SPEAKER_05: Steam Town!
50:31
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
50:32
SPEAKER_07: So uh I think I knew that, huh?
50:36
unknown: Yeah.
50:36
SPEAKER_05: The case of big train, big train depot in Scranton, Pennsylvania, like the old uh the old steam engines.
50:44
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
50:44
SPEAKER_07: So this is called the case of a thermostat treason.
50:48
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
50:49
SPEAKER_07: And the plaintiff rights.
50:51
SPEAKER_05: Uh dear judge and baby Huey.
50:54
SPEAKER_05: I've been a loyal Alpha Pack member since season three.
50:56
SPEAKER_05: When are you guys coming back?
51:00
SPEAKER_05: Anyway, uh, I've been married 11 years, two kids, one dog that hates me, and a wife who treats the thermostat in the house like a nuclear code.
51:09
SPEAKER_05: Look, I know things are starting to cool off, but last week it seemed as though Summer decided to hang on for a little while longer where I live.
51:16
SPEAKER_05: Last Saturday I came home from working a double shift.
51:19
SPEAKER_05: The house is at 78 degrees.
51:22
SPEAKER_05: I kid you not, kids are sweating, dog is panting.
51:26
SPEAKER_05: I dropped the temp to 72 like a normal human being who pays the electric bill.
51:31
SPEAKER_05: And she walks in from the kitchen, looks at the thermostat like I just keyed her car and says, Who touched it?
51:38
SPEAKER_05: I owned it.
51:39
SPEAKER_05: She launched into a 20-minute closing argument about my comfort, how I'm always cold, and how the bill is our bill, and then uh she resets it to 76 and uh and walks away.
51:56
SPEAKER_05: Hold on a second.
51:57
SPEAKER_05: This is this is kind of an important call.
52:00
SPEAKER_05: Hey, I'm doing my podcast right now.
52:05
SPEAKER_05: Can I call you back later?
52:06
unknown: Yeah.
52:07
SPEAKER_05: All right, thanks.
52:08
SPEAKER_05: All right, bye.
52:10
SPEAKER_05: Sorry, that was a pack the pantry sponsorship call.
52:14
SPEAKER_05: Anyway.
52:16
SPEAKER_05: Uh, I owned it.
52:17
SPEAKER_05: She launched into a 20-minute closing argument about my comfort, how I'm always cold, how the bill is our bill, and then she reset it to 76 and walked away.
52:25
SPEAKER_05: I waited until she went upstairs, dropped it back to 71, and went to bed.
52:30
SPEAKER_05: This morning, the thermostat is locked, pin protected.
52:34
SPEAKER_05: She won't give me the code.
52:36
SPEAKER_05: Says I can't be contr can't be trusted with climate control.
52:40
SPEAKER_05: Now am I the asshole for not wanting to live in a sauna, or is she guilty of domestic temperature terrorism?
52:46
SPEAKER_05: Help a brother out.
52:48
SPEAKER_05: Mike from Scranton.
52:52
SPEAKER_05: There you go.
52:54
SPEAKER_05: Break jury hereby summoned.
52:56
SPEAKER_05: Comment with your advice on our verdict, it'll pop up on the screen live.
53:00
SPEAKER_05: Guilty, not guilty, what's the sentence?
53:03
SPEAKER_05: So here's the thing.
53:06
SPEAKER_05: I hate paying the power bill.
53:09
SPEAKER_05: And the power bill keeps going up.
53:13
SPEAKER_05: It does.
53:15
SPEAKER_05: It's crazy.
53:17
SPEAKER_05: But paying the power bill should come with voting rights on the thermostat, I believe.
53:22
SPEAKER_05: Like if I'm expected to pay the majority of the power bill or all of the power bill, I get to be a dictator on the climate control.
53:32
SPEAKER_05: That's all there is to it.
53:34
SPEAKER_05: The reverse of that is heating oil, and more specifically in my house, pellets for the pellet stove.
53:44
SPEAKER_05: Like, heating oil is ungodly expensive right now.
53:49
SPEAKER_05: Yes, it is.
53:53
SPEAKER_05: And my pellet stove needs repaired.
53:56
SPEAKER_05: By the way, if you're watching, if you're watching tonight and you repair pellet stoves or you know somebody that repairs pellet stoves, uh let me know about them because I gotta have somebody come look at ours.
54:06
SPEAKER_05: But the second summer's over and we get even the faintest little bit of cool temperatures, my wife's like, We're out of oil, you gotta go buy some off-road diesel.
54:20
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, six bucks a gallon, honey.
54:24
SPEAKER_05: Six bucks a gallon.
54:26
SPEAKER_05: Put a sweater on.
54:29
SPEAKER_07: I'm glad our winters are not harsh in Vermont.
54:32
SPEAKER_05: Right.
54:32
SPEAKER_05: No, we we saw here, but here's the thing.
54:36
SPEAKER_05: It's not anywhere even close to being cold right now.
54:40
SPEAKER_05: It's just not hot.
54:43
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
54:44
SPEAKER_07: Like it was 80 today here.
54:46
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
54:47
SPEAKER_05: So 78 degrees, whatever the case, is not comfortable.
54:52
SPEAKER_05: It's like slow cooker setting.
54:55
SPEAKER_05: That that's just all there is to it.
54:58
SPEAKER_05: Michelle Wright's try Albert Albert Speer.
55:01
SPEAKER_05: I don't know what Albert Spear is.
55:02
SPEAKER_07: No, no, that's not Michelle.
55:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh, oh, try Albert Spear uh to uh fix my pellet stove?
55:09
SPEAKER_05: I will try that.
55:10
SPEAKER_05: I appreciate it.
55:12
SPEAKER_05: Um but in any case, um, yeah, 78 degrees.
55:19
SPEAKER_05: That's not comfortable.
55:21
SPEAKER_05: That's like as in as uncomfortable as this white wig I'm wearing on my head right now.
55:25
SPEAKER_05: I'm starting to sweat thinking about it.
55:27
SPEAKER_05: It's like slow cooker setting.
55:30
SPEAKER_05: And listen, I get it.
55:33
SPEAKER_05: Marriage, partnership, we're a team, yada yada, get it.
55:37
SPEAKER_05: But you cannot lock a grown man out of his own temperature setting out of that house.
55:41
SPEAKER_05: Am I right about that?
55:43
SPEAKER_05: Like you can't.
55:44
SPEAKER_05: You can't you you cannot lock a grown man out of the climate controls in his own house.
55:49
SPEAKER_05: That is peak passive aggressiveness.
55:53
SPEAKER_05: It is like that's all there's to it.
55:57
SPEAKER_05: Now, here's the deal.
55:58
SPEAKER_05: If Mike has a history of turning the house into a meat locker every time she's in a tank top, maybe the pin is a justified self-defense.
56:09
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
56:10
SPEAKER_05: But we don't get that information from him.
56:13
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
56:15
SPEAKER_05: So never let the thermostat in your house become a proxy war.
56:23
SPEAKER_05: Alright?
56:24
SPEAKER_05: For bigger marital issues.
56:27
SPEAKER_05: But also never let your house feel like Florida in August.
56:30
SPEAKER_05: That sucks too.
56:32
SPEAKER_05: So uh freak jury, you can comment with what you think.
56:39
SPEAKER_05: Uh I think I'm I'm ready for a ruling.
56:43
SPEAKER_07: I am frozen on it.
56:46
SPEAKER_07: I can see you, I can't hear you.
56:47
SPEAKER_07: I can hear you, I can't see you.
56:49
SPEAKER_05: Alright.
56:50
SPEAKER_05: Preliminary ruling subject to freak jury ratification.
56:55
SPEAKER_05: Mike is not guilty of thermostat treason.
56:59
SPEAKER_05: Wife guilty of climate control overreach.
57:03
SPEAKER_05: Excessive pin aggression.
57:05
SPEAKER_05: All right.
57:06
SPEAKER_05: So the sentence would be immediately unlocking the thermostat.
57:11
SPEAKER_05: House temperature set at a hard 72 during waking hours.
57:15
SPEAKER_05: Negotiable plus one degree only with mutual consent and a formal written amendment.
57:21
SPEAKER_05: Mike is sentenced to one, I hear you, listening session without interrupting, but only after the temperature is corrected.
57:29
SPEAKER_05: Wife sentenced to one week of Mike's comfort zone where she wears an extra layer instead of turning the house into a greenhouse.
57:37
SPEAKER_05: And both parties ordered to buy a dual zone smart thermostat or stuffer continuous public roasting on this podcast.
57:47
SPEAKER_05: Alright.
57:49
SPEAKER_05: Court adjourned.
57:51
SPEAKER_05: Till next week's batch of bad decisions roll in.
57:55
SPEAKER_05: Send your cases to the Alpha Men Podcast.
57:58
SPEAKER_05: Go to our Facebook page, send us a DM.
58:01
SPEAKER_05: That is Man Court tonight on the Alpha Men Podcast.
58:05
SPEAKER_03: Since you're attacking us, can you give us a question?
58:08
SPEAKER_03: You are attacking our news organization.
58:11
SPEAKER_03: Give us a chance to ask a question, sir.
58:12
SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
58:13
SPEAKER_03: Sir.
58:13
SPEAKER_03: Quiet.
58:14
SPEAKER_03: Let's present electric go ahead.
58:15
SPEAKER_03: She said she's asking a question.
58:18
SPEAKER_03: You are fake news.
58:29
unknown: Man.
58:29
SPEAKER_07: Real or fake news.
58:31
SPEAKER_05: Uh part of the show where I feed baby Huey four of the most insane headlines from this week.
58:37
SPEAKER_05: Four of them, by the way, all four of them are not true.
58:41
SPEAKER_05: One of them, only one of them, is true.
58:45
SPEAKER_05: Three of them are 100% made up bull crap that I created.
58:49
SPEAKER_05: Like CNN, MSNT, MS Now, and Politico.
58:56
SPEAKER_05: I can hear you.
59:16
SPEAKER_05: That's not good.
59:17
SPEAKER_05: I should have known that.
59:20
SPEAKER_05: Uh but uh in any case.
59:24
SPEAKER_05: Alrighty.
59:25
SPEAKER_05: Um, anyway.
59:27
SPEAKER_05: Four headlines, only one of them is true.
59:30
SPEAKER_05: Baby Huey, it's your job to uh cipher through the headlines and p pick the one that you think is real and eliminate the one, the three that are fake news.
59:42
SPEAKER_05: So here you go.
59:43
SPEAKER_05: Uh by the way, you can help baby Huey along uh by uh commenting.
59:49
SPEAKER_05: And uh he could use your help.
59:51
SPEAKER_05: Let's be honest.
59:53
SPEAKER_05: Uh here we go.
59:54
SPEAKER_05: Headline number one Michigan man arrested after driving riding lawnmower on interstate to avoid DUI checkpoint.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_07: Decision.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_05: Plausible.
1:00:07
SPEAKER_05: Possible.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_05: Number two, Long Island woman celebrates 47th birthday by falling into eight-foot deep sinkhole.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_05: Neighbors sing happy birthday during rescue.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_07: Friend of mine's kid actually did that about three weeks ago.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_07: Fell on a seven-foot hole.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_05: Uh number three, Ohio Dad builds full-size cardboard replica of his ex-wife's new boyfriend's truck, sets it on fire in front yard as closure therapy.
1:00:42
SPEAKER_06: Like it.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_05: That's worth it.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_05: I'm just thinking if he put that kind of effort into his relationship, he might not be, she might not be an ex-wife.
1:00:54
SPEAKER_05: True.
1:00:54
SPEAKER_05: True.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_05: Just something to think about.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_05: And finally, uh, California School Board votes to replace all school bells with recordings of Taylor Swift saying, it's time to focus, besties.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_07: I would drop out of school.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_05: That makes me want to throw up, just saying it.
1:01:17
SPEAKER_05: All right, there's your headlines.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_05: Michigan man driving lawn run riding mower on interstate to avoid DUI checkpoint.
1:01:24
SPEAKER_05: Long Island woman celebrates 47th birthday by falling into eight-foot deep sinkhole.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_05: Ohio Dad builds full-size cardboard replica of ex-wife's new boyfriend's truck, sets it on fire in front yard, and California School Board votes to replace all school bells with the recordings of Taylor Swift saying it's time to focus, besties.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_05: John, which one do you think is the real news?
1:01:53
SPEAKER_07: Ain't no way a school did the Taylor Swift thing, so I'll cancel that out.
1:01:58
SPEAKER_07: Singh hole makes sense.
1:02:00
SPEAKER_07: My friend's kid just did it.
1:02:01
SPEAKER_07: I'll do it.
1:02:03
SPEAKER_07: Great.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_07: Seven foot great.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_07: Right in the middle of the grass, tall grass.
1:02:07
SPEAKER_07: Um cardboard?
1:02:09
SPEAKER_07: Appreciate the effort.
1:02:10
SPEAKER_07: I could see somebody doing that.
1:02:11
SPEAKER_07: People are crazy.
1:02:12
SPEAKER_07: The one that sounds most real, honestly, is this one.
1:02:14
SPEAKER_05: Uh uh lawnmower.
1:02:17
SPEAKER_05: That's what you're going with.
1:02:19
SPEAKER_05: You're going with that?
1:02:20
SPEAKER_07: You want to you want to phone a friend, pull the audience?
1:02:22
SPEAKER_05: Any of that stuff?
1:02:23
SPEAKER_05: No?
1:02:24
SPEAKER_07: Uh anybody?
1:02:25
SPEAKER_07: Anybody got just in case?
1:02:27
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_05: You're going with Michigan man arrested after driving riding lawnmower on interstate to avoid DUI checkpoint.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_05: And that is fake news.
1:02:40
SPEAKER_05: Not real.
1:02:44
SPEAKER_05: Fake news, not real.
1:02:46
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_07: Um burning cardboard car?
1:02:53
SPEAKER_07: Truck?
1:02:54
SPEAKER_05: Fake news, not real.
1:02:56
SPEAKER_07: All right, so let's fall through the hole then.
1:02:58
SPEAKER_05: A Long Island woman named Danielle Timone stepped outside on her 47th birthday earlier this month.
1:03:05
SPEAKER_05: The ground immediately said, Happy birthday, sucker.
1:03:08
SPEAKER_05: Dropping her into an eight-foot sinkhole.
1:03:12
SPEAKER_05: Uh, none of uh those massive car swallowing monsters you see in the news.
1:03:18
SPEAKER_05: This was a skinny little small prick of a hole.
1:03:22
SPEAKER_05: All right, narrow, tight, perfectly sized to ruin in broad daylight, Danielle's birthday.
1:03:30
SPEAKER_05: It went from I'm gonna enjoy my special day to now I'm a human cork in a dirt bottle in about a half a second.
1:03:37
SPEAKER_05: That's what happened.
1:03:38
SPEAKER_05: She couldn't climb out, walls too close, struggling to breathe.
1:03:42
SPEAKER_05: So she did what any raised reasonable adult would do.
1:03:47
SPEAKER_09: Help!
1:03:50
SPEAKER_05: She screamed like she just found out the birthday cake was sugar-free.
1:03:54
SPEAKER_05: Luckily, a couple of neighbors heard her pure panic coming from the yard.
1:03:57
SPEAKER_05: They ran over, pinpointed the human-sized prairie dog hole.
1:04:02
SPEAKER_05: And I mean, there it is.
1:04:03
SPEAKER_05: You see how small that is.
1:04:05
SPEAKER_05: You have to ask yourself how a woman like shit it perfect timing.
1:04:13
SPEAKER_05: I'd be like, she had yeah, your big toe would have got stuck in it.
1:04:22
SPEAKER_05: The rest of you would have been fine.
1:04:26
SPEAKER_05: But uh anyway, they called 911 and then they did the most neighborly thing possible.
1:04:32
SPEAKER_05: They stood there and yelled down that help was on the way, which is basically the suburban version of hang in there, buddy.
1:04:39
SPEAKER_05: You know?
1:04:40
SPEAKER_05: Uh New York woman uh it she was in the hole.
1:04:46
SPEAKER_05: It was her birthday.
1:04:48
SPEAKER_05: Her husband was celebrating.
1:04:50
SPEAKER_05: I made the hole.
1:04:54
SPEAKER_05: Happy birthday, Danielle.
1:04:56
SPEAKER_05: Uh, the universe really went the extra mile.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_05: We're glad you're okay.
1:04:59
SPEAKER_05: And uh, that is real or fake news tonight on the Alpha Men Podcast.
1:05:05
SPEAKER_01: And now the Red Foreman Awards, where you make dumb choices, you will win dumbass awards.
1:05:10
SPEAKER_05: Dumbass.
1:05:11
SPEAKER_05: You dumbass.
1:05:18
SPEAKER_05: Go.
1:05:19
SPEAKER_05: It is the Red Foreman Awards on the Alpha Men Podcast, the only award show where the trophy is a size 12 steel-toed boot delivered straight to the ass.
1:05:27
SPEAKER_05: Brought to you by Point Place's patron saint of dumbass justice himself, Red Foreman.
1:05:32
SPEAKER_05: Tonight we're handing out gold informants to some of the most impressively stupid criminals walking the planet.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_05: These people didn't just break the law, they set it on fire, danced on it, and then asked for a participation trophy.
1:05:45
SPEAKER_05: So let's award some golden formants tonight.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_05: Golden Foreman number one, the rival Patty Patty Raid Fail award.
1:05:55
SPEAKER_05: Our winners Jonathan Terrell Glass and Joshua Raquez Hayes, 33 and 18 respectively, of Newman, Georgia.
1:06:09
SPEAKER_05: Now these two guys are Wendy's employees.
1:06:12
SPEAKER_05: They clocked out on their shift at the Thomasville Crossroads, still wearing their Wendy's uniforms, and decided that the perfect team building exercise was to walk over to the McDonald's Kroger parking lot.
1:06:28
SPEAKER_05: And, you know, they did what you or I would do when we're bored, climbed into what they believed was a McDonald's employee's car.
1:06:36
SPEAKER_05: The victim, the McDonald's employee, spots them, fight breaks out, the square patty duos scatter like kids who just got caught stealing fries.
1:06:45
SPEAKER_05: One sprints into the Kroger, the other books it back towards Wendy's via a church parking lot and dumps the victim's backpack like it's radioactive.
1:06:55
SPEAKER_05: Cops roll up, scook up the Kroger runner first, connect the Wendy's dots, and find the second genius back at the restaurant, both booked for uh entering an automobile with intent to commit a crime.
1:07:09
SPEAKER_05: Released on bond the next day.
1:07:10
SPEAKER_05: Dave Thomas is uh spinning in his grave so fast.
1:07:14
SPEAKER_05: He could power a frosty machine.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_05: Uh boot to the asses.
1:07:19
SPEAKER_05: Extra crispy.
1:07:20
SPEAKER_05: Dumbass.
1:07:21
SPEAKER_05: Golden Foreman number two! I called back up on myself award.
1:07:27
SPEAKER_05: Yes, the I called backup on myself award goes to Scott Milliage, 60 of Arizona.
1:07:34
SPEAKER_05: There you see Scott.
1:07:36
SPEAKER_05: See, Scott decided uh regular life wasn't enough power for him.
1:07:39
SPEAKER_05: So he slaps some fake red and blue lights on his truck, decided to go out on the highway and start pulling people over.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:07:49
SPEAKER_05: Instant traffic stop cosplay.
1:07:52
SPEAKER_05: Then in a mu uh move of uh pure galaxy brain brilliance, Scott called the real cops for backup.
1:08:04
SPEAKER_05: The troopers show up, take one look at the situation.
1:08:08
SPEAKER_05: Guess who got arrested?
1:08:11
SPEAKER_05: Scott for impersonating a peace officer, unlawful imprisonment, and kidnapping.
1:08:17
SPEAKER_05: Scott's defense, uh, the other car was speeding and running red lights, sir.
1:08:22
SPEAKER_05: He thought they were gonna kill someone.
1:08:25
SPEAKER_05: Scott, the only person in danger that day was your freedom.
1:08:30
SPEAKER_05: Boot to the ass delivered with lights and siren.
1:08:34
SPEAKER_05: Golden Foreman number three! The uh Colt Court ordered relapse award.
1:08:41
SPEAKER_05: That goes to Barry Bowser this week, 37 of New York.
1:08:45
SPEAKER_05: Barry was on probation for a previous drug case and had a court-ordered drug program to attend.
1:08:52
SPEAKER_05: Oh, most people show up empty-handed, but Barry.
1:08:57
SPEAKER_05: Barry's not most people.
1:09:00
SPEAKER_05: Barry showed up with 35 grams of heroin and fentanyl, cracked cocaine, digital scales, and packaging material.
1:09:07
SPEAKER_05: And he was stopped right at the courthouse.
1:09:10
SPEAKER_05: On his way to the program, he was supposed to do to keep him out of prison.
1:09:16
SPEAKER_05: He previously sidestepped a 12-year sentence.
1:09:19
SPEAKER_05: That deal now gone, and he's looking at brand new charges.
1:09:23
SPEAKER_05: So, Barry, the only program you graduated from was advanced self-sabotage.
1:09:30
SPEAKER_05: Steel-toed boot, extra heavy.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_05: You dumbass.
1:09:35
SPEAKER_05: Golden Foreman number four tonight.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_05: The uh Bikini Beans Revenge Inferno Award.
1:09:44
SPEAKER_05: That goes to Noah Ross, young man 23 of Arizona.
1:09:50
SPEAKER_05: Noah worked at three bars, feet in tack.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_05: He got fired after driving the company truck past Bikini Beans.
1:10:00
SPEAKER_05: For those not aware, that is kind of the hooters of coffee shops.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_05: Snapping photos of the baristas, then proudly showing those photos to his managers.
1:10:14
SPEAKER_05: Sounds like you work at a pretty uptight place, Noah.
1:10:17
SPEAKER_05: Or did.
1:10:18
SPEAKER_05: Month later, still salty, Noah and his bunny, drinking some beers, decided they needed something fun.
1:10:24
SPEAKER_05: So they snuck into the feed store in the middle of the night.
1:10:28
SPEAKER_05: Set some hay on fire.
1:10:30
SPEAKER_05: $60,000 in damage.
1:10:32
SPEAKER_05: By the way, his phone connected to the store Wi-Fi right before the blaze.
1:10:38
SPEAKER_05: That would be how they tracked him down.
1:10:42
SPEAKER_05: He turned sexy hot into arson hot.
1:10:45
SPEAKER_05: Charged with arson, burglary, and criminal damage.
1:10:49
SPEAKER_05: No what?
1:10:50
SPEAKER_05: Next time just tip better and move on.
1:10:52
SPEAKER_05: Okay?
1:10:55
SPEAKER_05: You dumbass.
1:10:56
SPEAKER_05: Finally! The Toilet Cocktail Defense Award.
1:11:02
SPEAKER_05: That is gonna go to Aaron Hoops, 43 of Virginia.
1:11:07
SPEAKER_05: Now Aaron crashed her red mini cooper into a police cruiser.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_05: Uh she kept going though.
1:11:15
SPEAKER_05: Uh she was like that watermelon NASCAR driver on the wall.
1:11:21
SPEAKER_05: She got chased down.
1:11:23
SPEAKER_05: Cops sensed a very strong smell of alcohol, and off to jail she goes.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_05: When she got to jail at the station, she asked to use the bathroom.
1:11:35
SPEAKER_05: And officers always leave the door cracked, so she can't drink from the sink before the breathalyzer.
1:11:44
SPEAKER_05: Erin took that as a challenge.
1:11:47
SPEAKER_05: She allegedly stood up, scooped up a handful of toilet water, mixed with Yeah, I'm not going there.
1:12:00
SPEAKER_05: And drank it.
1:12:02
SPEAKER_05: Now the breathalyzer still clocks her at 0.26, more than three times the legal limit.
1:12:08
SPEAKER_05: Of course, now what would you expect from someone who is willing to drink used toilet water?
1:12:17
SPEAKER_05: Uh second, offense D UI plus hit and run.
1:12:22
SPEAKER_05: Aaron, that is not how you beat a breathaliser.
1:12:25
SPEAKER_07: No, no.
1:12:26
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
1:12:27
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, shit in your mouth.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_05: It is how you invent a new flavor of regret, though.
1:12:32
SPEAKER_05: Alright?
1:12:33
SPEAKER_05: Boot to the ass and maybe a mint or something.
1:12:38
SPEAKER_05: Dumbass.
1:12:39
SPEAKER_05: That's a wrap this week.
1:12:41
SPEAKER_05: On the uh Red Foreman Awards.
1:13:00
SPEAKER_05: All right, one last shot.
1:13:02
SPEAKER_05: You got one left in the chamber.
1:13:04
SPEAKER_05: One clean, unfiltered round before we walk out tonight.
1:13:09
SPEAKER_05: What's the one thing you're aiming at walking out the door tonight, John?
1:13:14
SPEAKER_05: One thing from the show that made you think, made you laugh, made you crazy, made you proud, made you scared.
1:13:19
SPEAKER_05: Doesn't matter.
1:13:20
SPEAKER_05: One last shot.
1:13:23
SPEAKER_07: Open season.
1:13:24
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:13:25
SPEAKER_07: Going into it, I was like, shit, because you'd like to talk and you talk a lot and you like to over talk.
1:13:30
SPEAKER_07: And I was like, I'm not gonna get two words in.
1:13:33
SPEAKER_07: Because, you know, I'm not as uh verse as you are when it comes to a lot of political shit.
1:13:39
SPEAKER_07: I follow, I follow it, I just don't get invested into it like you do.
1:13:43
SPEAKER_07: Hence your Facebook.
1:13:44
SPEAKER_07: So I was like, I'm gonna get my ass handed to me, but I think I held my own.
1:13:48
SPEAKER_05: You did hold your own.
1:13:49
SPEAKER_05: You held your own.
1:13:50
SPEAKER_05: You held your own.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_07: And you were worried.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_07: You were worried.
1:13:53
SPEAKER_07: You're like, you know, we gotta do this, but you can't be a dude headlights.
1:13:56
SPEAKER_07: I'm like, I'm gonna try my best.
1:13:58
SPEAKER_05: Here's the thing.
1:13:59
SPEAKER_05: I I recognize it.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_05: You have experience, I don't.
1:14:02
SPEAKER_05: No, no, here's the deal.
1:14:04
SPEAKER_05: And I want to make this really clear.
1:14:05
SPEAKER_05: I recognize uh I spent 35 years on the radio.
1:14:12
SPEAKER_05: I've talked for a living for almost my entire life.
1:14:16
SPEAKER_05: Good tell.
1:14:17
SPEAKER_05: My first job with a microphone was calling bingo numbers at the Turbentville Fire Station when I was 11 years old.
1:14:26
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:14:28
SPEAKER_05: And um, my first job on the radio, I was 14.
1:14:32
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:14:33
SPEAKER_05: So I I've kind of done this stuff my whole life.
1:14:38
SPEAKER_05: And I I recognize that you are a character and you are really funny.
1:14:48
SPEAKER_05: And you um how do I put this?
1:14:56
SPEAKER_05: You what's that?
1:14:57
SPEAKER_05: Can I say something?
1:14:58
SPEAKER_05: No, I I I no I rec I recognize that you're a character, you're funny, we have a great rapport, but I always worry that I'm throwing too much at you and I'm gonna say something to you and get the deer in the headlights look back back across the the internet here, and you're not gonna know what to say.
1:15:18
SPEAKER_07: I'll just be just like Trump.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_07: I mean, I'll say whatever, just you know, to get get reaction.
1:15:24
SPEAKER_08: Right.
1:15:25
SPEAKER_07: So that's my last shot on that.
1:15:26
SPEAKER_07: I like I like the open season thing.
1:15:28
SPEAKER_07: I mean, my I like I like the free talk of back and forth banter and this you know structured segment stuff we do is great.
1:15:38
SPEAKER_07: It breaks things up, so but it's nice to have a little free reading.
1:15:41
SPEAKER_05: Well, you gotta have you gotta have segments because that's the way you break up a podcast and do clips and the clo and the clips build everything, and so there has to be segments, you know what I mean?
1:15:52
SPEAKER_07: I like the format, I like the format.
1:15:54
SPEAKER_05: My last shot tonight um actually is um that last Red Foreman award.
1:16:05
SPEAKER_05: I can't it horrifies me.
1:16:08
SPEAKER_05: It absolutely horrifies me that this woman in a mini Red Cooper hits a police cruiser.
1:16:16
SPEAKER_05: She's clearly loaded, they catch her, chase her, and to get and beat the breath Elizer, she's drinking out of a used toilet.
1:16:27
SPEAKER_05: She's clearly a lunatic.
1:16:31
SPEAKER_05: I can't leave you with a stronger mental vision than that tonight.
1:16:36
SPEAKER_05: All right, that's that's just all there is there, that's all there is to it.
1:16:41
SPEAKER_05: Um, that is my final shot.
1:16:45
SPEAKER_05: If you've still got one in the chamber, drop it in the comments.
1:16:48
SPEAKER_05: Tell us uh what your last shot on tonight's show was, and uh that's gonna do it for the Alpha Men podcast this week.
1:16:55
SPEAKER_05: If you like the show, subscribe, tell a friend about it.
1:16:58
SPEAKER_05: If you hated it, like, subscribe, argue with a friend about it.
1:17:02
SPEAKER_05: We'll see you next Tuesday night, live at 8.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_05: And as the immortal Beverly Hillbillies always said, yeah, I'll come back now, you hear?
1:17:15
SPEAKER_00: All right, AlphaPat.
1:17:17
SPEAKER_00: That's all the damage we're legally allowed to do tonight.
1:17:19
SPEAKER_00: If you're offended, confused, clutching your pearls, or googleing, is it normal to agree with it?
1:17:25
SPEAKER_00: It's perfect.
1:17:26
SPEAKER_00: It's an accomplished.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_00: This has been the AlphaPet Podcast, where opinions are loud, facts are optional, and HR would have tackled this before the intromas are even finished.
1:17:36
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for hanging out, cracking appearance for free, and pretending it works up a way of way absolutely something.