Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 413: PR, Pleasure & the Power of Being Seen with 5/1 Emotional Manifesting Generator Amy Bartko

Transcript

413: PR, Pleasure & the Power of Being Seen with 5/1 Emotional Manifesting Generator Amy Bartko · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome everyone.
• 0:01
  I am so excited to be here today because I'm in person for a couple of
• 0:07
  these interviews and I am, I asked very intentionally people that I wanted to
• 0:12
  come here and have the, to sit down with me in person because I wanted to
• 0:16
  have very not specific conversations in the sense of, uh, you know, I
• 0:21
  wanted to talk about certain topics.
• 0:22
  I just wanted a certain type of person.
• 0:24
  I just wanted somebody, people who have been doing this for a while, doing their
• 0:28
  thing for a while, who've been on the journey and can talk about it and also
• 0:32
  have an expertise that, you know, that they can share with, with my audience.
• 0:36
  So I am so excited to be here with Miss Amy Barco.
• 0:40
  Thank you for being here.
• 0:42
  Love.
• 0:43
  Oh my gosh.
• 0:44
  Thank you so much.
• 0:45
  And I love the intro there.
• 0:47
  Um, and I'm glad that I was one of those people to, yeah.
• 0:52
  I'm honored to have you here.
• 0:53
  So you are also, because this is a human design show, um, I always tell.
• 0:58
  Our listeners, what, what the human design of our guests are, because I
• 1:02
  think that it, I think it also helps, although they get me and we're both five
• 1:07
  one emotional manifesting generators.
• 1:09
  So you and I are both five one emo, manny gens and you know,
• 1:13
  so, so they've got an example.
• 1:15
  But I think it also helps to see that, that, you know,
• 1:18
  types, profiles, authority, we come in all shapes and sizes.
• 1:22
  We come in all types of businesses.
• 1:24
  We come in all types of ways that it expresses in ourselves.
• 1:27
  So, um, so you are a five, one emotional manifest and generator.
• 1:30
  I know you're not, you're not like a super human design person,
• 1:33
  but you're like human design.
• 1:34
  Curious.
• 1:35
  I'm very human design.
• 1:36
  Curious.
• 1:37
  Absolutely.
• 1:38
  I know a little bit about mine, but definitely not the deep dive.
• 1:43
  Did, did it resonate for you when you read and kind of first took like a
• 1:48
  glimpse, ran your chart, got a few, like, like definitions of those things?
• 1:52
  Did they ring true or were you like, no.
• 1:54
  You know what?
• 1:55
  It's funny.
• 1:56
  Um, yes, it absolutely rang true manifesting generator.
• 2:00
  I, I mean, I do all the things.
• 2:02
  Uh, so, which also I know, you know, human design Enneagram.
• 2:09
  I'm an Enneagram seven, which I feel like is a parallel to
• 2:14
  that manifesting, um, generator.
• 2:16
  So that landed really easily for me.
• 2:20
  I, I'm a seven as well.
• 2:22
  I'm a, I'm an Enneagram seven.
• 2:23
  And, uh, it's funny, Tracy O'Malley is gonna, is gonna come in here later,
• 2:26
  so we'll get the Enneagram thing here
• 2:28
  as
• 2:29
  I love that.
• 2:29
  But the, the seven yes.
• 2:31
  Multi-passionate freedom.
• 2:33
  I think that it te tends to go very well.
• 2:36
  Not all sevens are many gens, but I think a lot of, many Jens are seven.
• 2:41
  Um, so I, I think it, it absolutely tracks.
• 2:44
  Um, are you, do you have an eight in your tri type?
• 2:47
  No.
• 2:47
  Okay.
• 2:48
  Um, I do,
• 2:49
  oh, do you?
• 2:50
  Yeah.
• 2:51
  What's your tri type
• 2:52
  I think it's.
• 2:53
  What is it?
• 2:54
  Three, eight and seven?
• 3:00
  Yeah.
• 3:02
  I think I'm a mover and a shaker
• 3:03
  That's the
• 3:04
  what it's
• 3:04
  The three?
• 3:05
  Yes.
• 3:06
  Yes.
• 3:07
  Which I've been mistyped as a three before as well, because
• 3:10
  I, I am achievement driven.
• 3:12
  But at the core, it's free.
• 3:14
  I think for me more, but tell everybody a little bit about you, so they have a, a
• 3:18
  little bit of an intro, you know, outside of, you know, what we've already said.
• 3:21
  Tell everybody just a little bit about you, how you would describe yourself,
• 3:24
  your business, what you do, and all that.
• 3:26
  Um, so I am.
• 3:29
  I live in Phoenix.
• 3:30
  I have two children, two boys, uh, 18 and 12.
• 3:35
  My 18-year-old.
• 3:36
  I'm about ready to move into the dorms on Sunday.
• 3:41
  Yeah, so I'm gonna be half of an empty nester.
• 3:44
  Uh, yeah.
• 3:45
  Fill in all the fields.
• 3:46
  That is for sure.
• 3:47
  I have a PR agency that I launched, uh, about 12, 13 years ago that I love
• 3:55
  very passionate about, and I also have a new venture that I started earlier
• 4:00
  this year called The Pleasure Paradigm.
• 4:02
  That's super fun.
• 4:04
  Tell, tell me about that.
• 4:05
  So, the pleasure paradigm, I think that, you know, our minds can go in a couple of
• 4:08
  places what we think that that's about.
• 4:10
  Tell me what it is and, and how'd you end up there.
• 4:13
  So you went, how'd you go from pr?
• 4:15
  I know you're a mangen and a seven, so we could see where maybe you make
• 4:18
  some leaps in directions that are not like, you know, make so much like
• 4:23
  logical sense of like the next step.
• 4:26
  But, but tell me about, you know, what it is and, and how you got into it.
• 4:30
  Uh, so the pleasure paradigm it, what I find is women over the course of
• 4:37
  generations, actually, it's funny, if you watch some of these, you know, uh,
• 4:42
  old time, you know, like, uh, Bridger 10 or, you know, those type of movies
• 4:48
  when it comes to sex, women really have a hard time asking for what they want
• 4:54
  or being in the forefront of, of what it is that the pleasure that they seek.
• 5:01
  And I created this just simply out of
• 5:08
  being tired of being put in a box, you know, and not really enjoying, um,
• 5:17
  pleasure, you know, or I, I shouldn't say not enjoying it, but not getting to the
• 5:25
  pleasure that I felt that I wanted and being able to speak up in the bedroom.
• 5:31
  And I went through a divorce.
• 5:33
  So, you know, at January of 2020 I separated.
• 5:37
  So I was with my, um, ex-husband for 18 years.
• 5:42
  And when you're with the same sexual partner and you're not enjoying the sex
• 5:49
  and you don't feel comfortable saying what it is that you want, I think that it.
• 5:57
  It it's very old school.
• 5:58
  It's very old time.
• 6:00
  And that's just how we were raised though, right?
• 6:02
  I mean, women were, um, raised to be quiet, to not ask for
• 6:07
  what they want to just do.
• 6:09
  To just take and, yeah.
• 6:13
  So.
• 6:14
  the passenger in the, in the bedroom is definitely, I think the, the role that
• 6:20
  women have been given traditionally.
• 6:23
  And I think it takes something to, you know, it takes a lot of courage to.
• 6:29
  Say what you want.
• 6:31
  And it's an interesting thing to do that when you ask for what you want in the
• 6:35
  bedroom to see what all of those thoughts are in your head about what you think
• 6:40
  will happen if you say this thing out loud, like, what does this mean about me?
• 6:45
  What, what, what?
• 6:47
  Like, and I've been with my husband 21 years, so I understand that, you
• 6:53
  know, you fall into a habit and a, you know, just the way things are.
• 7:00
  And it takes work to come back to like, well, let's make this fun.
• 7:04
  And I don't think any woman can make it fun and have it be
• 7:07
  like, yeah, whatever you want.
• 7:10
  Sure.
• 7:11
  That's actually how it ended up the same for a long time.
• 7:16
  But, um, I love that you did that.
• 7:19
  I love that you've, you've taken this and not just from your own perspective,
• 7:23
  but you wanna share it with other people.
• 7:25
  I think it's important to share it with other people because it is
• 7:29
  okay to speak up in the bedroom.
• 7:32
  It is okay to ask for what it is you want because I, when, with this opening
• 7:40
  up with me, just the conversations that I have had, I've had so many people
• 7:45
  open up in a very deep, vulnerable, personal way that I would've never have.
• 7:52
  Um, had, you know, previously I've had women tell me that
• 7:57
  they've never had an orgasm.
• 7:59
  And I, you know, because they don't feel comfortable like saying, okay, a
• 8:04
  little bit to the left, or, you know,
• 8:07
  don't stop,
• 8:08
  Right.
• 8:09
  Don't stop.
• 8:10
  I mean, what are you doing?
• 8:12
  Why are you stopping?
• 8:13
  I'm not done.
• 8:15
  get back there.
• 8:17
  yes.
• 8:18
  And I feel like I, I've had people open up in the most beautiful ways, just
• 8:26
  having these super honest conversations and by being a vehicle or, you know,
• 8:35
  I mean, not to, but being an open ear that somebody can actually have this
• 8:41
  conversation with and feel comfortable.
• 8:44
  And I don't think that, I think it's a conversation that we think that people
• 8:49
  will be weird about it, but I think people are much more comfortable having that
• 8:53
  conversation than we think they will be.
• 8:56
  Just, no one starts the conversation.
• 8:59
  Nobody opens that door to like, so what's your, you know, how do you open
• 9:04
  that conversation by the way, Amy?
• 9:05
  Like how do you start a conversation with somebody?
• 9:07
  Do you just say like, this is what I'm doing now, and then it
• 9:09
  kind of gets, gets going, or like, I'm curious, what's your opener?
• 9:12
  So, okay.
• 9:13
  You know, funny because when I first said to you the name, the Pleasure
• 9:19
  Paradigm, you literally were like, oh, you, I mean, eyes slide up.
• 9:24
  I, I mean, it's just like all of a sudden, instantly walls come down.
• 9:31
  So by having just, I started this new thing called the Pleasure Paradigm.
• 9:36
  Oh, tell me more.
• 9:38
  And when I tell them more, then they start opening up to me.
• 9:42
  And I mean, I had one woman and this was, you know, super deep and personal.
• 9:50
  She told me that, uh, when she started having sex, it was the most
• 9:54
  painful, excruciating thing for her.
• 9:57
  And nobody, she went to doctor after doctor and nobody
• 10:01
  figured out what was happening.
• 10:04
  And, you know, it turns out that, you know, she had, um, I mean
• 10:08
  she had to have surgery, surgery done to alleviate that pain.
• 10:13
  And she never felt comfortable talking about it.
• 10:16
  But literally, in a group of women, her and I are having this conversation.
• 10:21
  I tell her what I'm doing and she opens up the most vulnerable way.
• 10:26
  Mm. And I do wanna say that if it were a man, they would move heaven
• 10:32
  and earth to figure out why he wasn't enjoying his, his sex time.
• 10:36
  Uh, so like that's, you know, we'll, we'll put that aside.
• 10:40
  Uh, he'd be like, we need a think tank to put together, like, to put
• 10:46
  together a think tank to figure out exactly why this is happening to this
• 10:49
  poor, poor man cannot, no one can rest until we solve this problem.
• 10:54
  Um, but to her it's just like, yeah, you know, we're just not sure.
• 10:57
  Yeah, we're not
• 10:58
  just yeah.
• 10:59
  yeah.
• 11:00
  Deal with it deal with it, something with you.
• 11:02
  Maybe it's psychological.
• 11:04
  It's the only time it's psychological.
• 11:05
  Which to the point, the original point, women are told to just deal with things,
• 11:12
  you know, put in a box, don't speak up.
• 11:15
  So, yes, exactly.
• 11:18
  So when you, this, there's a couple of things I wanna ask, but, but this,
• 11:26
  what I think is also interesting is, I think when we hear, so when I heard
• 11:29
  pleasure paradigm, I got even more curious because I think that we have a
• 11:35
  preconceived notion about what, what it, what it looks like for us to go into,
• 11:41
  like, receiving pleasure or talking about pleasure, what somebody who teaches it or
• 11:46
  who's kind of bringing it to the table.
• 11:48
  Like we think it's like there's, there's this vision of like, oh, it's gotta be
• 11:54
  like some, uh, like exotic, you know.
• 12:00
  Stick thing, yoga woman who can bend in all of these ways.
• 12:04
  Like there's just a way that you think it's gonna, that, that it's gonna show up
• 12:07
  and, and, but you come to it where it's just like, it's like, no, sexy is real.
• 12:12
  And, and you come to it, like, with that open conversation and because that's the
• 12:17
  only thing that intimidates me about the conversation is just like, 'cause I, I'm
• 12:25
  sexy in my way, but like, I'm not sexy.
• 12:28
  Like, like the, what I, what I picture in my mind is like the pleasure
• 12:33
  ladies that are like, you know, they're Instagram, they're naked
• 12:38
  and they're like, they're dancing.
• 12:40
  And I'm just like, yeah, that's not, that's not
• 12:43
  me.
• 12:43
  not me either, and that's really not,
• 12:46
  We're five ones baby.
• 12:47
  That's not us.
• 12:49
  And I'm not saying we're not sexy, but you know, it's a different kind of sexy and.
• 12:54
  it is absolutely a different kind of sexy because there is a classy sexy, which is
• 12:59
  exactly what the pleasure paradigm is.
• 13:01
  It's more about being sensual, being like within your body and just being
• 13:06
  able to, you know, speak up in, in an authentic, you know, to to yourself.
• 13:15
  How you feel comfortable way.
• 13:18
  And you, I mean, and it's little, it's just to the point of, you know, Hmm.
• 13:24
  A little to the left.
• 13:26
  Y you know, it's not like, Hey baby, you, you, that like is cringe, you know?
• 13:32
  I mean, I've listened to a couple podcasts about sex just in this venture, right?
• 13:39
  And some of them are really raunchy and like, it, it makes me uncomfortable, like
• 13:45
  listening to it makes me uncomfortable.
• 13:47
  And that is not what this is.
• 13:49
  This is not, you know, dare do I say stripper pole.
• 13:54
  Um, pleasure.
• 13:55
  This is just classy, authentic to yourself.
• 14:01
  Pleasure.
• 14:02
  And it's what resonates for you?
• 14:05
  I think it's, part of it is like pleasure is like, it's a personal thing.
• 14:09
  And what I think is interesting about this, 'cause as I'm hearing you talk,
• 14:13
  it seems like it's an exploration of you actually asking yourself the question
• 14:17
  of what you want and recognizing that that is worthy of someone
• 14:23
  responding to that and giving it to you
• 14:25
  and, and being open to receiving it.
• 14:29
  And so I think that that's so beautiful.
• 14:31
  You mentioned before we started recording, you said, you know, 'cause you have
• 14:34
  a PR agency just like, just slightly
• 14:39
  Different
• 14:40
  than, than this.
• 14:41
  But you, you said you were like, you know, we're talking about visibility and pr,
• 14:44
  but also pleasure and pleasure paradigm.
• 14:48
  There's, there's visibility here.
• 14:49
  Can you talk to me about what you mean by that and how they intersect?
• 14:53
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:54
  So yes, I do have chatterbox.
• 14:57
  Uh, and so I, in what my, you know, niche statement is basically is I'm a PR expert.
• 15:04
  I specialize in putting brands into, in front of Celebr.
• 15:09
  Featured on television and movies and top tier media.
• 15:13
  I work with brands to get them the visibility, to earn credibility,
• 15:20
  to achieve profitability.
• 15:21
  So what I do in my day job absolutely is all about getting the
• 15:27
  brands that I work with visible.
• 15:30
  Okay.
• 15:31
  So with the pleasure paradigm, uh, what My night jobs,
• 15:38
  my moonlighting job, uh,
• 15:41
  after dark occupation.
• 15:45
  In the Classiest way, uh, that is all about, um, giving women the permission
• 15:52
  to lean into their visibility, to lean into, you know, showing up in
• 15:59
  the bedroom in a very visible way.
• 16:02
  Because if you lay there and you're silent and you, you do not.
• 16:08
  Ask for what you want or because when, when he's asking you, what do you want?
• 16:14
  Or how can I please you?
• 16:16
  And we say nothing, they're not asking because they don't want us to answer.
• 16:22
  They literally want us to answer.
• 16:25
  Oh,
• 16:25
  Maybe they don't know what to do and they'd like to perform well.
• 16:30
  trust me, I've had, well, it doesn't happen, you know, I, but I've been with
• 16:36
  somebody that had no idea, like where, you know how things work down there?
• 16:42
  And it was like, Hmm, okay, let me give you a little, you know.
• 16:47
  I had that vision of, of that scene from friends.
• 16:50
  Do you, do you remember the, the Courtney Cox one where she drew a diagram of
• 16:54
  the, the, the nine erogenous, seven erogenous, A 1, 2, 3, A 4, 7, 4, 7, 7, 7.
• 17:04
  It's, it's, and they're all looking at it like that was just what popped
• 17:08
  into my head as she was saying.
• 17:09
  He didn't know what to do down there.
• 17:11
  So we drew him a map.
• 17:12
  Um,
• 17:13
  They need a map.
• 17:15
  some do, it can be complicated down there, new territory, we don't know.
• 17:19
  They don't have one.
• 17:21
  So,
• 17:22
  don't.
• 17:22
  you know, um, we make it our job to learn, but you know,
• 17:27
  everybody's studies differently.
• 17:29
  And, um, you put up something on social media the other day that, um, it was
• 17:35
  actually one of the things, I've seen you do this before, but I, I think
• 17:40
  it was when I, I reached out to you and I was like, you going to, are you
• 17:43
  going, we're here for the Powerhouse Women event in, in Scottsdale.
• 17:46
  And I was like, are you going powerhouse?
• 17:47
  'cause I wanted to just connect with you.
• 17:49
  And, um, but you had said, you know, the, the best thing
• 17:52
  I ever did was bet on myself.
• 17:54
  Oh yes.
• 17:55
  And I'd love to know what your definition of that is.
• 17:58
  Like what's you not betting on yourself?
• 18:00
  Like, I think, 'cause if you, if, if you have a moment of betting on
• 18:03
  yourself, did you have one where, where you recognized when you didn't,
• 18:07
  when you weren't betting on yourself?
• 18:09
  And what did betting on yourself look like for you?
• 18:12
  Yeah.
• 18:13
  I love this question.
• 18:14
  Um, so for, like I said, I've been in PR for 18 years.
• 18:22
  And as a solopreneur, you know, there are times that we feel
• 18:28
  like we want to burn it down.
• 18:31
  I mean, we like enter this burnout stage and we're like, is
• 18:37
  what I'm doing really working?
• 18:40
  Is what I'm doing really lighten me up?
• 18:42
  You know, is this what I'm supposed to do?
• 18:46
  And as a single mom and being an entrepreneur, you know, running my own
• 18:53
  business, owning my home, raising my two kids with no financial help, sometimes
• 19:00
  you start circling the drain and you start feeling like, what in the actual, you
• 19:08
  could.
• 19:08
  fuck am I doing?
• 19:10
  What in the actual fuck am I doing?
• 19:13
  And.
• 19:14
  Is this really what is, you know, lighting me up, right?
• 19:20
  So I went through that stage and, and then I went to an event and
• 19:28
  I think event and community is something where I bet on myself.
• 19:33
  Uh, I went to an event and I met Rebecca Cero, which is how you and
• 19:38
  I met, and I joined her community and I joined her mastermind program
• 19:43
  and I did her mastermind twice.
• 19:46
  Yeah, I did it once.
• 19:48
  I did it the year before you, yeah.
• 19:50
  And that was me betting on myself because I knew what I was here to do was not be
• 19:59
  a corporate number because I do believe that when you work for corporations,
• 20:04
  a lot of corporate, because I was in, um, me when I worked for companies.
• 20:09
  I worked for medical, um, companies, medical sales, and I you were a number.
• 20:15
  You.
• 20:16
  That's all you were.
• 20:17
  And like what you do and
• 20:19
  And you're your sales number, right?
• 20:21
  And sales.
• 20:22
  Yeah.
• 20:22
  absolutely.
• 20:23
  And if you're not lighting them up to where they want
• 20:27
  you to be, you don't matter.
• 20:29
  And it doesn't matter what's happening in your life.
• 20:32
  So I thought about, as I was circling the drain before I met Rebecca, I
• 20:40
  actually started doing the, going down the LinkedIn rabbit hole.
• 20:46
  And, you know, thinking, you know, 'cause I'm a single mom, I'm
• 20:49
  paying for my own health insurance.
• 20:51
  I, you know, am all of this.
• 20:54
  So as an entrepreneur, your income, your financial security, it ebbs and
• 21:01
  flows, you know, depending on things.
• 21:03
  So, um, I took all of that and I invested in myself, I bet on myself
• 21:12
  because I knew that corporate was not something that was for me at all.
• 21:19
  And just really putting myself in rooms with, um, other women that were
• 21:25
  exactly where I am and want to be.
• 21:32
  And when you made that investment, because I think sometimes we hear
• 21:38
  like there'll be somebody, and I've talked about this on the show before
• 21:41
  that I think it's how did you gauge that that was the right investment for
• 21:45
  you to make at that time where you, 'cause I think sometimes we think that
• 21:51
  these things will be magic bullets.
• 21:53
  I know when I joined Rebecca's Mastermind, I had been, I had my business for a while.
• 21:58
  I, I really felt like community was the, the area I didn't
• 22:03
  know how to build on my own.
• 22:06
  I, so I went into it not with like, this is gonna change, like
• 22:11
  my revenue, this is gonna change.
• 22:12
  It wasn't that because I kind of had that.
• 22:17
  Like where I was like, okay, I think this will add, but I don't know how to
• 22:21
  in, and it sounds like I have like some weird human handicap, which I guess I
• 22:25
  do, but like, I'm like, I don't really know how to make the relationships and
• 22:28
  like I, I always feel weird in them.
• 22:31
  I'm kind of awkward and, you know, when it comes to like meeting people in the
• 22:35
  industry, like how do you build these partnerships that don't feel I'm really,
• 22:39
  really kicked out and conscious of people not feeling like I'm using them and, but
• 22:46
  I understand that there's opportunities here and I don't know how to do that.
• 22:50
  And, and I have a sisterhood wound, so I was like, this is
• 22:55
  what I'm coming to this group for.
• 22:57
  And with Rebecca, I was like, I think she's the person
• 23:01
  who can open this up for me.
• 23:03
  I feel that from her.
• 23:04
  If I walk out of this feeling like I know how to make friends, which again
• 23:09
  sounds like I'm like stunted in some.
• 23:12
  Human way.
• 23:13
  But like if I come out of this with like, where I heal a bit of that
• 23:16
  sisterhood wound and I feel like I understand how to make partnerships
• 23:21
  and strategic relationships that feel both like, like there is, uh, like
• 23:27
  we, we give and we take together.
• 23:29
  These are like reciprocal
• 23:31
  relationships that feel really good then worth the price of admission for me.
• 23:36
  They're genuine and authentic.
• 23:37
  Absolutely.
• 23:39
  Well, and it's interesting because
• 23:42
  I.
• 23:45
  When you asked me the question that you asked me was, how did I
• 23:48
  know that that was the right group?
• 23:50
  And I had my mom friends, you know?
• 23:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:55
  Uh, so my mom friends are so different than this group that I
• 24:01
  have, have like leaned into and literally will be lifelong friends.
• 24:07
  You, you, I mean, it is such a genuine, authentic, you know, group
• 24:12
  of women, my mom, friends, they don't know what the fuck I do.
• 24:15
  I don't tell them what I do because I am, I'm concerned that they,
• 24:20
  you would, would judge me, would like, feel like I'm being boastful.
• 24:24
  Because not everybody works with Kim Kardashian or Kate Hudson, but I do,
• 24:29
  and I literally, I don't tell people that because I don't want it to come.
• 24:34
  'cause I'm a seven, I'm actually a 7 4 9, which Tracy said I wouldn't be
• 24:38
  able to do what I did if I, you know.
• 24:41
  Yeah.
• 24:42
  So, 'cause I'm the gentle spirit.
• 24:45
  So my mom friends, I didn't have what I needed and what I was craving
• 24:50
  with them because I couldn't talk about what I did when I met Rebecca.
• 24:56
  She's so genuine.
• 24:57
  She is like the warmest person.
• 25:00
  And it was just such an inviting, you know, instant connection group of
• 25:05
  women that I felt so connected with and felt like it was worth that spend.
• 25:15
  Right.
• 25:16
  And.
• 25:17
  And it, and she helped me.
• 25:20
  She helped me come out of that shell of not talking about what I'm doing
• 25:24
  to actually being visible myself.
• 25:27
  'cause I used to just, with my PR business, I would, you
• 25:31
  know, I felt all the credit, you know, belong to my, um, clients.
• 25:35
  And it does.
• 25:36
  Absolutely.
• 25:37
  You know, I mean, that's what I, they hire me for, to get them the coverage and
• 25:42
  to, you know, give them that visibility.
• 25:46
  But she gave me permission to be visible and to step out of that, you
• 25:53
  know, hiding spot that shell, that I was in and really lean into myself.
• 25:59
  So it.
• 26:01
  A thousand times over, I would invest in community because, and
• 26:06
  it's the right community, not all communities are, are created equal.
• 26:10
  Back to your IC factor, you know, I've, I'm the same way.
• 26:14
  I don't, because I don't want it to be like, to feel like this
• 26:18
  multi-level marketing, you know?
• 26:21
  Right.
• 26:22
  And 'cause it's not, and it, you know, not everybody's gonna do pr, you know, not
• 26:27
  everybody's going to be interested in pr.
• 26:31
  Well, and funny p um, Rebecca has a PR agency too.
• 26:36
  So, uh, when I first entered her, um, community, I was like, is this conflict?
• 26:42
  You know, because I do pr.
• 26:43
  And they're like, no, no.
• 26:45
  And it was the best thing I ever did.
• 26:46
  It was really the best investment of me betting on myself.
• 26:53
  And I, and you've continued to invest in that way and to build community.
• 27:00
  Is it still, do you feel like the the best investment that you continue to make?
• 27:05
  Absolutely.
• 27:05
  I mean, I've done Rebecca's Mastermind twice.
• 27:08
  I've been in expanders with Lindsay Schwartz three times.
• 27:13
  Uh, and yeah, I've done expanders three times.
• 27:16
  I think Nove, her first expanders was March of 24 and
• 27:21
  I was part of the first ones.
• 27:23
  So, uh, so yeah, I, finding the right groups is really powerful.
• 27:30
  And I wanna go to visibility for a second because I think PR is, is,
• 27:34
  is mysterious to a lot of people.
• 27:37
  They, you know, myself included, like I, I, I don't have a
• 27:42
  problem with visibility yet.
• 27:44
  I do not enjoy pitching myself.
• 27:49
  And so am I alone?
• 27:54
  No, you're not.
• 27:57
  I don't think I'm alone.
• 27:58
  I think it's, it, it sounds So how do you get over that?
• 28:01
  How do you help somebody?
• 28:03
  Because you have a number of ways that you work with people.
• 28:05
  Obviously you're working with, you know, bigger brands, getting them,
• 28:09
  you know, getting Kim Kardashian to wear their stuff, or Kate
• 28:12
  Hudson, like you were saying.
• 28:14
  But tell everybody a little bit about how you work with people and
• 28:18
  what's some of the biggest issues that you see with visibility and
• 28:21
  how you help people work with them.
• 28:24
  Uh, really, it's like.
• 28:28
  Well let, can I ask you a question first?
• 28:30
  You said that you don't like pitching yourself.
• 28:33
  What is it that you don't like about that?
• 28:37
  Oh, I have, this is one of my growth edges, which is, is, is, and I, I,
• 28:43
  I've definitely reached a point.
• 28:45
  There's points where you're like, in life.
• 28:48
  Where, you know, you're working to grow to something, so you're
• 28:51
  like, I'm working on that.
• 28:53
  And then there's a moment where you're not working at it anymore and
• 28:55
  you're there and you're like, okay.
• 28:57
  I feel like all the work I've done, I have now like reached like the new
• 29:00
  plateau of being able to like, like this is my new floor, you know, and now I'm
• 29:05
  gonna go and reach for the next one.
• 29:07
  I feel like I have gotten a lot more self-confident in the sense
• 29:11
  of feeling worthy, um, with human design and with what I do.
• 29:16
  I definitely, because I don't tell a lot of, I tell my mom friends what I do, and
• 29:23
  they absolutely look at me like I'm nuts.
• 29:27
  Not all of them.
• 29:28
  Some of them are nicer and they tell their husbands when I leave that I'm nuts.
• 29:32
  But some of them outright look me in the face, like, oh, I love that for you.
• 29:37
  And
• 29:38
  your heart
• 29:40
  oh, so fun.
• 29:42
  Um, no.
• 29:43
  They're very nice people, but they don't get it.
• 29:45
  Yeah.
• 29:45
  And so when I pitch myself for something like human design, I think
• 29:49
  I have a bit of that in my head of like, they're not going to get it.
• 29:54
  And I've had people, I've had other people in PR where I've just talked to the wrong
• 29:58
  people where I get that same reaction.
• 30:00
  They're like, yeah, you know, I, I don't know if they're like gonna pick that up
• 30:04
  or if they're really gonna get that, or, I don't really see the story there and
• 30:09
  I know that it's their own, you know, prejudice toward, you know what I do.
• 30:15
  But, so that's, I think, I think I have a little bit of that head trash.
• 30:19
  Yeah.
• 30:20
  Okay.
• 30:21
  And that's super valid, right?
• 30:22
  Because not everybody is into that spiritual and, you know, self-care.
• 30:28
  And I would categorize human design into, um, that spiritual growth.
• 30:35
  You know, self care, because for me, I love human design.
• 30:41
  Um, I love Enneagram.
• 30:43
  I love all of that because I feel like it, it's the roadmap to what makes me
• 30:49
  who I am and how I can navigate myself and navigate myself with other people.
• 30:56
  So preach disturbing.
• 31:02
  Um, so back to your original question about the pr, um, angle of it.
• 31:10
  First, you're talking to the wrong PR people.
• 31:12
  You have to, one of the things that I do with pr, I will not
• 31:17
  take a client on if I am not, um.
• 31:21
  I, I hate to use the word sold into the product, but I'm not passionate.
• 31:25
  I'm not passionate about the brand.
• 31:27
  If I have no passion for the brand, I am not gonna do well.
• 31:31
  And if you ever feel anyone that's listening to this and you're talking to
• 31:35
  somebody with pr, if they do not have passion with your brand, you should
• 31:39
  just turn the other way because they are not going to do your brand justice.
• 31:43
  So that's one thing.
• 31:45
  Um, the other thing is absolutely there is a story here with
• 31:49
  human design because it is,
• 31:53
  uh, self-care is a very hot topic right now.
• 31:59
  Uh, you know, really the breath work and the sound healing, and which I
• 32:05
  feel, am I wrong, that human design falls right along that, you know,
• 32:10
  line of those are the type of people that are gonna lean into human design.
• 32:16
  If you tell me you do breath work, I'm like, we could probably.
• 32:19
  Really have a conversation about what I do, and you'll be into it.
• 32:22
  Whether you know about it or not, you'll have your chart by
• 32:25
  the time we're done talking.
• 32:27
  You
• 32:27
  know, like I, I know that like if, if you're telling me you go to a sound
• 32:31
  bath or things like that, I'm like, okay, we might be, might be my person.
• 32:35
  Y yeah.
• 32:36
  You're probably more open to hearing what, you know, human design is about.
• 32:41
  of connecting with ourselves.
• 32:43
  And you probably value the same things that I think human design delivers.
• 32:48
  Absolutely.
• 32:49
  You know, it's funny because I, um, you know, there was a time
• 32:53
  that I was on an antidepressant.
• 32:55
  There was a time that I, you know, uh, went to therapy, uh, regularly.
• 33:02
  You know, obviously I was going through a divorce, so.
• 33:06
  My, all those things were needed at the time, but since I've adopted this,
• 33:13
  um, other modality of self-care and just knowing myself, I have, I do not
• 33:20
  take, um, antidepressants anymore.
• 33:23
  I, you know, do not see my therapist as you know, it.
• 33:27
  It's more of a, if I feel like I need a, a tuneup, it's not something
• 33:32
  I feel like I need on the regular.
• 33:34
  So I feel like your target audience really is that person that is in self-care,
• 33:42
  that that is into the self-care.
• 33:44
  And there are absolutely publications out there that are interested in what
• 33:50
  you have to say and pitching yourself.
• 33:55
  I think people are.
• 33:58
  I get it.
• 33:59
  You know, um, when you have, when people kind of look at you sideways about what
• 34:03
  it is that you do, and you're like, okay, so, you know, how am I gonna sell this?
• 34:09
  You know, you know, to the publisher or to the editors or the journalists,
• 34:15
  and it's just knowing the right people.
• 34:17
  That's why a lot of people actually hire me or a, you know, a publicist
• 34:24
  because we go through, we create a customized roadmap for you that we
• 34:31
  know exactly who we wanna reach out to.
• 34:35
  Those people that are covering your topic, and there are plenty of them out there.
• 34:41
  So it is just about understanding.
• 34:43
  And I think that that's another thing when I, I, I think I said that from the start,
• 34:46
  like, I think people find PR mysterious, like how do you even break into that?
• 34:50
  And what I'm hearing from you is that it's, it's actually not that hard.
• 34:54
  You just need to know who the people are.
• 34:56
  That are writing about what it is that you do or in the realm of it.
• 35:01
  Like find someone who wrote a breath work article and then go pitch that person.
• 35:05
  And I think that the other thing that I've heard, and I have not
• 35:09
  taken to heart enough to say like, oh, they need stories too.
• 35:15
  Like, you know, they've got a right to live and they run out of ideas
• 35:20
  just like everybody else does.
• 35:22
  And, but, and I think it's very similar to like this show people pitch me for, to
• 35:26
  be on a, a guest on the show all the time.
• 35:29
  I say no, I say no to a lot of people.
• 35:31
  'cause honestly, there are people that I don't know and they don't, a lot
• 35:36
  of times the story just doesn't fit with the mission of this show for me.
• 35:41
  And I'm like, thank you, but no thank you.
• 35:42
  Or they write me a pitch that is all about them and, and they're just
• 35:49
  like, this is why I'm so awesome.
• 35:51
  This is what I can do.
• 35:52
  And it's like they get the name of my show wrong or they like, and it's like,
• 35:56
  you didn't put any, I, I, I. So, no.
• 36:00
  Um,
• 36:01
  And I, and I think about that.
• 36:03
  I'm like, but then I get a good pitch.
• 36:05
  And even if they're not right for the show, I feel bad telling them no.
• 36:11
  Like, I wanna say yes because I'm like, you took the time to actually craft a
• 36:15
  really careful pitch that that really did come close to hitting a lot of the notes.
• 36:22
  And I don't give myself that.
• 36:24
  I don't put myself in the good person person's shoes.
• 36:27
  I put myself in the, in the bad person's shoes.
• 36:30
  And that's just a shortcoming of mine that I've been working
• 36:33
  on since, you know, birth.
• 36:36
  Just feeling like I'm always putting somebody out with my needs
• 36:42
  We're always our own worst critic, right?
• 36:44
  Oh, for sure.
• 36:46
  I have a, I have, I have my inner critic and I have developed.
• 36:51
  Far more balanced relationship.
• 36:53
  Um, however, you know, they don't go away.
• 36:56
  Just our relationship has changed.
• 36:58
  And,
• 36:59
  And Yeah.
• 37:00
  it used to be they used to run my life and basically whip me
• 37:03
  throughout my, every moment of my day.
• 37:06
  And like to the point where I was a really like, shy, awkward kid, didn't have tons
• 37:12
  of friends so far from the popular girl.
• 37:15
  And I think that that was one of the things that intimidated me about, about
• 37:19
  entrepreneurship, about community, because it did seem like a cool girl's club.
• 37:23
  And I've never been the cool girl, never.
• 37:27
  And like I was the girl with frizzy hair and awkward and who just wanted
• 37:33
  to listen to music all the time and like, hang out with her cousin and just,
• 37:37
  just, just hang out with like boys and, 'cause they didn't expect any, like,
• 37:41
  it was just like we could just chill and it didn't have to be anybody else.
• 37:44
  And that was all I was ever looking for.
• 37:47
  And then entrepreneurship came and I was like.
• 37:51
  It's gotta be like this performance.
• 37:54
  I was an actor.
• 37:55
  I like to perform on stage.
• 37:57
  I don't like to perform in life.
• 38:00
  I don't, this might not work out for me.
• 38:04
  And then I had to shift that paradigm of the way that I was thinking about it, and
• 38:07
  that's what the Mastermind helped me do.
• 38:09
  And that's what I have to prove to myself that this can be different.
• 38:13
  I have to prove to myself that not that I can be a cool girl, but that it
• 38:18
  doesn't have to be a cool girl's club.
• 38:21
  I think we're getting to a place where that's even more true now.
• 38:24
  I think a lot of the cool girl stuff is starting to fall away a little bit.
• 38:31
  Like where it isn't just about a pageantry thing.
• 38:35
  There's, I think there's a, the, the, the stock of currency is ri uh,
• 38:41
  of authe of authenticity is rising.
• 38:45
  I think, you know what, it's funny that you say that because, um, I
• 38:49
  think that's the rooms that you and I have chosen to put ourselves in the
• 38:54
  rooms that we have put ourselves in.
• 38:57
  Are not cliquey rooms.
• 38:58
  They're not rooms of, you know, people that are, you know, Ooh.
• 39:03
  Yeah.
• 39:03
  We're not gonna, you know, invite you.
• 39:06
  It, it's very inclusive.
• 39:08
  It's very, you know, um, like I am thinking about the situation that's
• 39:16
  happening, like with mom, friends, you know, like at, at our school.
• 39:20
  Um, you know, all of a sudden when I went back to, I'm gonna go back to
• 39:25
  the visibility and me, um, showing up, but I had this group of mom friends.
• 39:29
  I was, like I said, I was afraid, you know, to talk about what I
• 39:33
  do and be more visible because I was afraid people would judge me.
• 39:39
  Well, the reality of it is, is my mom friends did judge me.
• 39:43
  Did I change a little bit moving into these, you know, communities
• 39:50
  and really stepping into them more visible Amy and what I do.
• 39:55
  Maybe I did change, but I just became more confident in what it is that I do.
• 40:01
  And now there's this whole group of mom friends that I used to hang out with
• 40:05
  on the regular that literally never talk to me now, and, and now they're,
• 40:13
  you know, but they're perceiving themselves as the Cool Girls club.
• 40:18
  And I don't need to be in that type of club, a cool girls club that is
• 40:24
  going to exclude me because I, you know, may have, um, said something
• 40:33
  you, I mean, nothing bad, you know?
• 40:35
  I mean, I, I'm like the nicest person, you know?
• 40:39
  I think
• 40:39
  You really.
• 40:41
  That's, I can, I can vouch for you there.
• 40:43
  You really are the nicest person.
• 40:45
  Well, thank you.
• 40:46
  I appreciate that.
• 40:48
  But back to your, you know, cool girls, you know, clubs.
• 40:54
  There are those that exist.
• 40:55
  And one of the things that I have, um, found is those are not my group.
• 41:04
  Yeah.
• 41:04
  It, it's not, 'cause they're not built on something that's real.
• 41:08
  It's usually, you know, I come back to like, was it, is it, is it a,
• 41:12
  is it Eleanor Roosevelt's quote?
• 41:13
  No.
• 41:14
  Um, I, I, I'm gonna screw up who's, I'm gonna attribute the quote to the wrong
• 41:17
  person, but it's, you know, she said that like, the people who talk about other
• 41:21
  people, um, you know, you wanna be in the conversations where people talk about
• 41:25
  ideas and and I think that that's what was coming to mind as you were saying.
• 41:30
  You know, like I started, you know, you started to, you know, be
• 41:33
  part of these other communities.
• 41:34
  You started to bet on yourself.
• 41:36
  You started to.
• 41:37
  I see that as like you were raising your frequency, you were raising, you were
• 41:42
  turning the volume up on who you are.
• 41:44
  And when you shift your frequency, there are some people that won't
• 41:48
  be able to tune into it anymore because their radio doesn't go there.
• 41:53
  And either because they don't want to or they haven't done the
• 41:55
  work to access that frequency.
• 41:58
  Yes.
• 41:59
  And that's not for us to go and shift ourselves back so other
• 42:05
  people can feel comfortable or can feel, and it's unfortunate.
• 42:10
  Um, but I also think that sometimes, you know, there can be, you can also be
• 42:14
  the catalyst for other people to change because you're showing what it's like to
• 42:20
  do it and to do it in a way of integrity and, and, you know, expansion's fun.
• 42:26
  It's not always fun, but when you start to feel it working, and I think
• 42:32
  that that's, do you feel expansion?
• 42:35
  Is that what you.
• 42:36
  You're in expanders, so you know, but like, but do you feel
• 42:40
  like, like you've expanded since?
• 42:42
  When did you join Rebecca's thing?
• 42:44
  Was it the end of 2023.
• 42:46
  may of 2023.
• 42:49
  Yeah.
• 42:49
  2023, you bet on yourself.
• 42:52
  Do you feel different now
• 42:54
  than you did then?
• 42:55
  How do you feel different?
• 42:57
  Uh.
• 42:59
  How do I feel different?
• 43:00
  I, I feel like I can talk about what I do, uh, you know, with more confidence.
• 43:07
  And if people are gonna judge me for it, then that's on them and not on me.
• 43:12
  I can't, I'm not gonna hold that burden.
• 43:15
  I'm going to rise with the frequency, like you just so eloquently said.
• 43:20
  And I feel like my frequency has risen quite a bit and I just feel more, more
• 43:30
  seen by the communities that I put myself in and the, they lift us up.
• 43:40
  You know, the people that we've surrounded ourselves with are
• 43:44
  really our biggest cheerleaders.
• 43:46
  They want us to succeed.
• 43:48
  They want us to, you know, go and do human design for everyone in
• 43:53
  the world, so it will benefit them.
• 43:56
  Or, you know, give pleasure to whoever, uh, you know, they, they are
• 44:01
  our biggest cheerleaders and they're also the people when we're having
• 44:05
  that day that we're frustrated and we feel like we wanna burn it down.
• 44:10
  Because trust me, you still think that Right.
• 44:12
  You know, just be
• 44:13
  Oh yeah, I had, July was like that for me, where I was like, maybe it's all wrong.
• 44:19
  Maybe it's all gotta come down.
• 44:21
  And I'm like, what are you crazy?
• 44:22
  Like you don't feel this way.
• 44:24
  It was actually very astrological.
• 44:26
  It was just a rough month.
• 44:27
  mercury and retrograde
• 44:29
  out of it and I was like, I love what I do.
• 44:32
  I must have been insane.
• 44:35
  yeah.
• 44:36
  Yeah, exactly.
• 44:37
  It's so funny.
• 44:38
  But I feel like tho the, I turn to tho to my community, um, not my mom
• 44:46
  friends, because my mom friends aren't going to, it's not gonna land the same
• 44:51
  with them as it does with our people.
• 44:56
  They don't get it and it's not their fault.
• 44:58
  No.
• 44:59
  And I know I have plenty of friends who try, but I realize I don't have those
• 45:05
  convers, I don't try to have those conversations anymore simply because,
• 45:08
  not because like they're, they're bad people or it's just the advice they'll
• 45:13
  give me is so not the advice that I need.
• 45:16
  'cause they don't understand the world that I live in and what I do that
• 45:19
  they'll be like, yeah, you know, maybe you just gotta like, cut your losses
• 45:22
  and, and I'm like, yeah, no, nevermind.
• 45:26
  Never.
• 45:27
  No.
• 45:29
  I'm gonna go call one of one of my woo woo friends that you won't get either.
• 45:33
  And, and, and it, and it's, it's fine, but it's, it is true because
• 45:38
  the entrepreneurial journey is so different than the linear path that so
• 45:46
  many other people have chosen to take.
• 45:48
  And that's fine.
• 45:49
  I'm not knocking that path for some people.
• 45:52
  It's like, you belong on, like, you're rocking that path.
• 45:56
  For
• 45:57
  go girl.
• 45:58
  I tried and it was just like, this is so not for me.
• 46:03
  And this is so, like, I love, I think entrepreneurship is built
• 46:08
  for manifesting generators.
• 46:10
  'cause it's just like, it's like the whole world is our oyster and all the,
• 46:14
  like, you can be like, you can be a PR maven one day and then you're like,
• 46:19
  I'm gonna build the pleasure paradigm.
• 46:21
  And it's like, it's like if, it's like, if it's making me
• 46:24
  a bigger version of me, then.
• 46:26
  We're, we're on the right track.
• 46:28
  If it lights me up, it's working.
• 46:30
  I don't know many other places where Mangen can be that free.
• 46:34
  So I, I, I, I love it, but
• 46:38
  In corporate, they're, they're like, no, you need to stay in your
• 46:41
  lane and you know, don't deviate.
• 46:45
  You are in the middle lane and that's it.
• 46:49
  Do not go anywhere else.
• 46:50
  this is gonna take this long.
• 46:52
  You're on a path to, you know, this next thing.
• 46:54
  And, and there was a time where I got that and I was like, okay, yeah.
• 46:57
  The path.
• 46:58
  And then, but someone else is really controlling that path.
• 47:01
  And I really, really like control of my, I don't like rules.
• 47:08
  I have problems with rules.
• 47:10
  I have problems with people telling me what to do.
• 47:12
  It's
• 47:12
  Are you a Scorpio?
• 47:14
  I am a, I am a Virgo, but I am a Scorpio Moon, Scorpio rising.
• 47:18
  Oh, okay.
• 47:19
  So you have a lot of Scorpio in your Yeah.
• 47:21
  Okay.
• 47:22
  Oh, that's right.
• 47:23
  Your son's a Scorpio.
• 47:24
  I bite.
• 47:25
  Yes.
• 47:26
  My son's birthday is the day before yours.
• 47:28
  Um, yeah.
• 47:29
  Uh, yes.
• 47:30
  I bite.
• 47:31
  I, and, you know, but I also like, we're also deep moody people as well, where
• 47:37
  like, there's, there is a, you know, I, I, the the Scorpio energy doesn't do shallow,
• 47:44
  No, no.
• 47:45
  so the, the linear, like, you know, like just keep to the,
• 47:50
  stick to the script baby.
• 47:52
  You know?
• 47:52
  It's like, oh, oh, but don't do that.
• 47:55
  No.
• 47:56
  Yeah, no.
• 47:57
  I, I I'm like this free.
• 47:59
  Yeah.
• 48:00
  I love Scorpio.
• 48:00
  Well, I'm a Scorpio as you, you know.
• 48:02
  Um, the audience may not know that, but yeah, I'm a Scorpio and I have a
• 48:07
  lot of Scorpio in my chart as well.
• 48:10
  Um, so I hear, I, I bite and yeah, I'm just this free bird for sure,
• 48:16
  and I, I just kind of be, have this beat to my own drum and I love it.
• 48:22
  I love that.
• 48:23
  Tell everybody.
• 48:24
  So tell us more about, you have some PR ways people can work with you.
• 48:30
  You have some pleasure ways people can work with you.
• 48:33
  Can you tell everybody a little bit more about those different pathways?
• 48:37
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 48:38
  So I have pr I have where I do it for you.
• 48:43
  I have a PR consulting where I work with you one-to-one, build out a
• 48:49
  very customized roadmap, teach you exactly how to do it, and give you
• 48:53
  all the tools to do it yourself.
• 48:56
  And I have a digital course that is at your own pace, at, at your your own time.
• 49:05
  It tells you everything you need to know about pr.
• 49:09
  And if you follow my PR formula, you absolutely will
• 49:13
  get the success that I get.
• 49:15
  So there's that, and I will give your audience one tip.
• 49:20
  Um, you had mentioned earlier about how do you find the people that are
• 49:26
  covering, um, what it is, you know, the journalists that are writing.
• 49:30
  So what I recommend for everyone to do is create a Google alert
• 49:36
  on any of your competitors.
• 49:40
  Any, um, self-care that would align with you, breath work, sound healing, and
• 49:47
  when you receive those Google alerts, it will be articles of, um, that are
• 49:52
  written on those, you know, topics.
• 49:56
  And when you pull up the article, it will give you the journalist
• 49:59
  names and those will be the people that you want to reach out to.
• 50:05
  So that's a free tip.
• 50:07
  Um, yeah, that's gold.
• 50:10
  It, I mean, it literally is gold because if other people are in
• 50:13
  your space and they're getting written about, so should you
• 50:18
  That's the first, like I think the first like pulling back the curtain on the
• 50:22
  mystery of like, how does this even start?
• 50:24
  It's like just find the people writing about the topics that are in your realm,
• 50:32
  so to speak.
• 50:33
  I love that tip.
• 50:34
  So wow, go do that.
• 50:36
  Yeah, you all go, everyone go do that like right now,
• 50:41
  Then now you have these three different ways where it's like someone
• 50:44
  can learn to do this themselves.
• 50:46
  You will help them, or you do it for them.
• 50:49
  You have like those three steps.
• 50:51
  And actually I'm offering to your audience for my digital academy.
• 50:55
  It's 3 97, but, uh, if you, um, use the code that we'll put in the show
• 51:02
  notes, uh, you'll get $200 off.
• 51:05
  So it's 1 97 and it will teach you everything you need to know about pr.
• 51:10
  Yeah, it's a pretty good deal.
• 51:14
  It's like, here we're giving it to you.
• 51:16
  That's amazing.
• 51:17
  Thank you for giving that offer.
• 51:19
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 51:20
  Absolutely.
• 51:21
  I PR is something everyone should do and just, it just gets you.
• 51:26
  That visibility.
• 51:27
  'cause what I call it, I call it the PR formula.
• 51:30
  To build brand awareness.
• 51:32
  You need to gain visibility to earn credibility.
• 51:36
  And when you have that credibility of other people talking about you, um, that
• 51:41
  third party talking about you, that's where your profitability comes in.
• 51:46
  So there's that.
• 51:48
  And then for the pleasure paradigm, I've written four guides.
• 51:53
  Uh, they're just, you know, guides for women.
• 51:57
  Um, there's a guide for, uh, women on how to ask for what they want in the bedroom.
• 52:02
  Um, there's a guide for oral sex for men and women, um, because,
• 52:09
  you know, sometimes men, like we discussed earlier, do not know how,
• 52:14
  and we read the map, talk to Monica.
• 52:20
  Tape it to my thigh.
• 52:24
  So for oral sex and then, um, how to give women, there's one for men for how
• 52:30
  to give women pleasure in the bedroom.
• 52:32
  And those guides are, uh, $26 and you can buy all four for 86
• 52:39
  Wow.
• 52:41
  We will link all of that up in the show notes
• 52:43
  for you.
• 52:44
  Um, so you don't have to go and remember anything.
• 52:47
  But those are some really amazing deals,
• 52:50
  and we've just covered a whole lot of ground as far as like what we can improve
• 52:54
  in their lives and their businesses with
• 52:57
  absolutely.
• 52:58
  like under 300 bucks.
• 53:00
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 53:01
  Well, and if you, I have a quiz.
• 53:04
  Um, what is your pleasure archetype?
• 53:06
  We will link that in the show note.
• 53:08
  That's a free quiz.
• 53:09
  wanna take that.
• 53:10
  I'm gonna take that.
• 53:11
  'cause I don't, I, I, I don't know what my pleasure archetype
• 53:13
  is, but now I'm curious.
• 53:15
  Um, I have one more question for you about human design and 'cause
• 53:19
  it, it relates to all the things that we've been talking about.
• 53:23
  So you're a five one.
• 53:25
  I'm a five one.
• 53:26
  The five is known for being, having influence over strangers more so
• 53:34
  than influence over the people that they know and are close to them.
• 53:40
  Now, you have, you've said community is the thing for you that has like really
• 53:46
  helped you bet on yourself and grow.
• 53:49
  Um, do you find that to be true?
• 53:52
  So I'm saying it to you.
• 53:53
  I, and I'm guessing that's the first time you've heard that put that way.
• 53:57
  How does that hit you?
• 53:58
  Um, so accurately.
• 54:00
  Yeah.
• 54:01
  Yeah, yeah.
• 54:02
  I feel like, um, a lot of times strangers are captivated by me.
• 54:07
  Uh, and I, I never knew why or how, uh, but then, you know, yeah.
• 54:15
  People that I know.
• 54:19
  When you say people that you know, is it like people that you know, like
• 54:22
  in your family or like your groups of friends or just people in general.
• 54:27
  It's all of it, but usually the closer they are, the less influence you have.
• 54:31
  Okay.
• 54:32
  Okay.
• 54:33
  So that lands super well.
• 54:34
  Um, yeah, yeah.
• 54:36
  Like family.
• 54:38
  My sister has never asked me what I do.
• 54:45
  I'm assuming she knows, but like we have never had a conversation about it.
• 54:50
  That's how little influence I have.
• 54:53
  Oh my goodness.
• 54:54
  The only time I do is if she asks for it.
• 54:56
  I don't offer shit.
• 54:58
  Because the other thing, the five needs to be invited.
• 55:01
  Like we need to, we, we have polarizing energy, we have, there's projections,
• 55:06
  there's a whole host of things that come with the five, but the, you know, and so
• 55:10
  unless people ask us for things, so if my sister comes to me and is like, and
• 55:16
  there have been a few things in her life where like shit's gone down and I'm the
• 55:20
  phone call that she made, um, then I can have influence, but only then otherwise
• 55:29
  it's she misinterprets what I'm saying and what I'm meaning and what I'm doing.
• 55:36
  And it's just, it's not a, it's not a good thing.
• 55:38
  So I don't even go there.
• 55:39
  But yeah, like with family, friends that are super close,
• 55:45
  there tends to be less influence.
• 55:47
  But when you speak on a stage or you have a podcast, um, people are
• 55:53
  like, oh my God, you're my person.
• 55:56
  Right.
• 55:56
  Okay.
• 55:57
  Yeah, I love that.
• 55:58
  And yeah, that's the first time, um, I have heard that.
• 56:01
  So two things.
• 56:02
  Um, one, what is your sister's human design?
• 56:06
  My sister, I don't know what time she was born because we haven't
• 56:08
  had this discussion, so we've never talked about it, but I've run her
• 56:12
  chart and I'm pretty certain she's a one three emotional generator.
• 56:17
  Okay.
• 56:18
  Okay.
• 56:19
  Um, and
• 56:21
  certain on that.
• 56:22
  okay.
• 56:23
  And the other thing is, is even though I said what, that your sister doesn't
• 56:27
  know, my mom has no clue what I do.
• 56:30
  Yeah.
• 56:30
  So, and you know, I think when she asks questions, she just
• 56:35
  looks at me sideways at, with what seems like judgment, you know?
• 56:40
  Um, and so that might be my own internal feeling that it's judgment, but
• 56:45
  that's what, that's the feeling I get.
• 56:47
  Do you have any sense that your mother, um, I don't know your mother, I don't know
• 56:52
  her story, but just as you're saying that.
• 56:56
  Uh, could she be jealous?
• 57:01
  She won't listen to this?
• 57:03
  'cause if she doesn't know what you do, she's definitely not listening.
• 57:07
  Um,
• 57:07
  We can edit it out.
• 57:08
  If you, I
• 57:09
  I, no, no, you don't need to edit it out at all.
• 57:12
  Um, it's so interesting that that is the question that you ask because
• 57:19
  that is exactly what everyone says.
• 57:22
  Um, not that they don't ask the question, they actually make the statement.
• 57:26
  She's just jealous of you.
• 57:29
  the five has a projection field.
• 57:32
  Projection field.
• 57:34
  What it really means, it's a weird concept that usually takes some getting used to.
• 57:38
  So I've developed a million different ways to explain it because there's so
• 57:41
  many ways before people really get it.
• 57:44
  But basically the first one that I heard was like that we're like a foggy
• 57:47
  mirror that people don't really see us.
• 57:50
  There's actually this like picture, like a film in front of me, and that film is
• 57:54
  not, you think you're seeing me through it and I'm the mysterious one, right?
• 57:59
  Where you're just like, I don't know.
• 58:00
  I can't get a total read on her, but, and but really what you're seeing is
• 58:04
  you're seeing a reflection of yourself and you're seeing, and you don't always
• 58:08
  like what you see and, but you're seeing it through this like, projection of me.
• 58:13
  So that's one way that it works.
• 58:15
  Does that make sense?
• 58:16
  Am I
• 58:16
  Yes.
• 58:16
  Oh my gosh.
• 58:17
  That makes so much
• 58:18
  And so when I say like, is she jealous?
• 58:20
  It's just the more you show up, is she seeing more how she didn't?
• 58:24
  And obviously this is a human thing that happens, but fives we tend
• 58:28
  to, that's what we're here for.
• 58:30
  We're here to show people where they are hiding from themselves.
• 58:35
  Now that's wonderful when people hire us to say, what am I hiding from myself?
• 58:39
  And I'm just like, I could tell you I've been invited.
• 58:42
  Now we're in, and now, now transformation is happening.
• 58:45
  My Scorpio moon and rising is having a time and very, very happy with that.
• 58:50
  But when it's just life, they're misinterpreting you and your motives
• 58:57
  and your things, but it's their stuff.
• 59:00
  So that's the, just wanted to throw that out there.
• 59:05
  It usually makes fives feel a little bit, uh, you know, take it less personally.
• 59:10
  'cause it's not really about us when it comes to that stuff.
• 59:13
  There's always room for reflection where you say like, is there
• 59:15
  something for me to work on?
• 59:17
  Is there anything that I did, do I have any part in this?
• 59:20
  Like, we're still human beings who have many flaws and faults, but if you
• 59:26
  come through that and you say No, I really don't feel like I did anything.
• 59:29
  I had good intentions.
• 59:31
  I showed up.
• 59:31
  I felt like I kept my side of the street clean.
• 59:34
  Mm-hmm.
• 59:35
  Taylor Swift is also a five one.
• 59:37
  I feel like many of her songs speak to the five.
• 59:40
  I keep my side of the street, street clean.
• 59:42
  The karma is a five one song.
• 59:44
  Um, it's if you feel like you've kept your side of your side of the street
• 59:48
  clean, then you say like, I feel pretty confident this was a projection.
• 59:52
  And they'll either get what they need out of it or they won't.
• 59:56
  Um, oh my gosh.
• 59:57
  I love that.
• 59:57
  And that lands so well.
• 59:59
  Uh, yeah, that lands super well.
• 1:00:02
  It's fun.
• 1:00:02
  Yeah.
• 1:00:03
  I just wanted to, I I was curious about that because in your communities and
• 1:00:07
  the communities, is it, is it the, what the community did for you internally
• 1:00:14
  that gave you the biggest shift?
• 1:00:16
  Or has it also translated into external?
• 1:00:20
  Um, and, and I don't need specifics around that, but I'm just curious about that.
• 1:00:26
  'cause I think that we function differently in communities than like a
• 1:00:29
  four line where they're meant to have influence on the people close to them.
• 1:00:33
  So the minute they meet somebody, that's where their influence is greatest.
• 1:00:38
  So, Lindsay Marie.
• 1:00:40
  Former Lindsay Schwart, she's a two four.
• 1:00:42
  So there's just this like, people feel like they know her and the more
• 1:00:46
  that they feel like they know her, the more they want to be near her.
• 1:00:49
  And now she has influence over those people that she,
• 1:00:52
  that feel like they know her.
• 1:00:54
  It works differently for us.
• 1:00:55
  So I'm just curious if you're comfortable answering, um, in those
• 1:01:00
  communities, does it feel different than the way I just described Lindsay?
• 1:01:04
  Or does it feel like where the, the community did work on you internally
• 1:01:10
  and that's like the big, like for me, community opened me up internally
• 1:01:15
  made me feel safe in community.
• 1:01:18
  And I find that in my communities, I don't necessarily, there aren't like
• 1:01:23
  in my community where those people are hiring me necessarily for all of
• 1:01:26
  that stuff, but they will tell other people about me, which is strangers.
• 1:01:32
  And then those people hire me.
• 1:01:33
  So that's, that's just just a reflection.
• 1:01:35
  I'm curious of, I'm always curious what people's lived
• 1:01:38
  experiences with their design.
• 1:01:39
  I feel like, I feel like exactly like what you're saying is, you know, um, I enter
• 1:01:46
  community and it's helped open me up.
• 1:01:50
  It's, it's, yeah, I feel like when I'm in community, it, you know, I
• 1:01:56
  just feel, uh, very open and seen.
• 1:02:03
  Yeah.
• 1:02:04
  Does that make sense?
• 1:02:05
  And especially in this entrepreneur community, you know, I feel like
• 1:02:09
  I could talk about, you know, pr the pleasure paradigm and nobody's
• 1:02:14
  gonna look at me sideways, you
• 1:02:16
  they're all like, tell me more.
• 1:02:17
  Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:18
  Yeah.
• 1:02:18
  Absolutely.
• 1:02:19
  Yeah.
• 1:02:20
  I think that's what I love about entrepreneurs too.
• 1:02:22
  We're kind of naturally curious, fascinated people, which I
• 1:02:27
  love being around that energy.
• 1:02:30
  People that are like, Ooh, I've never heard that.
• 1:02:32
  Not like, Ew, I've never heard of that.
• 1:02:34
  Yeah.
• 1:02:35
  They're like, Ooh, what's that?
• 1:02:37
  Is that something I should look into too?
• 1:02:39
  Because I'm game, you know, like there's, there's just this like I'm game for this.
• 1:02:43
  Right.
• 1:02:43
  Tell me more.
• 1:02:45
  I want to, yeah, it's like, Ooh, what do you mean?
• 1:02:48
  You're going to do an energy clearing on me?
• 1:02:50
  And it's like, yes, please.
• 1:02:53
  An
• 1:02:53
  do I sign up?
• 1:02:55
  I am so down for this.
• 1:02:58
  Um, so is there anything that you wanted to say to our lovely listener who's been
• 1:03:04
  hanging out with us for this conversation?
• 1:03:06
  Anything else that you wanted to say or share?
• 1:03:09
  You know, if, if you're feeling stuck and unseen, whether it be in your, you
• 1:03:15
  know, career, whether it be, you know, in the bedroom, you deserve to be seen.
• 1:03:21
  And I'm just inviting you to give yourself the permission to be visible in whatever
• 1:03:28
  aspect, whatever road you're taking it is.
• 1:03:33
  Okay.
• 1:03:34
  And Nicole and I are both here, you know, because we stepped out
• 1:03:39
  of that imposter syndrome, out of that, you know, not being seen stage.
• 1:03:46
  And I love that for everyone.
• 1:03:49
  So.
• 1:03:50
  The thank you for saying that.
• 1:03:52
  What was coming to me as you were saying that was like, it's like
• 1:03:55
  visibility is like lifting the veil.
• 1:03:57
  It's like, it's not just about like being everywhere all the time.
• 1:04:01
  It's about, you know, just, just saying, I'm not gonna hide behind this anymore.
• 1:04:06
  I'm allowing myself to, to really be seen.
• 1:04:09
  And I think that that's, that's the consistent exercise that has gotten me.
• 1:04:16
  'cause it isn't just like, oh, I've been more places and I've been, there
• 1:04:20
  have been times where I've been way more visible than I am now in like the
• 1:04:24
  strategic way where I've been more places.
• 1:04:27
  But I don't think I've ever been more exposed and vulnerable and real and
• 1:04:33
  being like this, just me than I am now.
• 1:04:37
  And I've never been more successful than I am now.
• 1:04:40
  And I don't think that that is, that they are unconnected.
• 1:04:44
  I think that they are intrinsically connected.
• 1:04:46
  Absolutely.
• 1:04:47
  Absolutely.
• 1:04:48
  And if you know, people are going to look at you sideways, and, and I say
• 1:04:56
  that, you know, because you know when you're like, huh, and you tip your head.
• 1:05:00
  That's why I always go to that.
• 1:05:02
  But if people are gonna look at you or, you know, give you the okay.
• 1:05:09
  Maybe you've aged out of those people.
• 1:05:12
  Maybe you've outgrown those people and sometimes that's something that's hard
• 1:05:18
  to accept and to, you know, deep down it's like that pit in your stomach.
• 1:05:24
  It's like, oh, but I don't know that I'm ready to let that go.
• 1:05:29
  It just, if you feel like that, then maybe those aren't your people anymore,
• 1:05:35
  And that's
• 1:05:36
  and that's okay.
• 1:05:37
  Yeah.
• 1:05:38
  Um, I completely agree with that.
• 1:05:40
  And it doesn't have to be this horrible, and you don't know what the future holds.
• 1:05:44
  Maybe they grow and change and they come back.
• 1:05:48
  But don't hold yourself back in order to stay in somebody else's world
• 1:05:52
  that doesn't feel right for you.
• 1:05:54
  Absolutely.
• 1:05:56
  Judgment is not something that you should hide behind because you feel
• 1:06:00
  like somebody's gonna judge you.
• 1:06:02
  No, for sure.
• 1:06:04
  You sacrifice yourself in that, in that paradigm.
• 1:06:07
  Um, but I'm so grateful for you being here.
• 1:06:10
  Thank you for doing this.
• 1:06:11
  my gosh.
• 1:06:12
  Thank you so much.
• 1:06:13
  This has been, this made my day.
• 1:06:15
  I, I, yeah.
• 1:06:17
  I am so happy to be here with you.
• 1:06:19
  Oh, that makes me so happy.
• 1:06:20
  It is this, honestly, I'm so, so thrilled that you came and I'm
• 1:06:23
  so happy that we got to do this.
• 1:06:25
  I've wanted to have you on the show for a long time, and I'm so
• 1:06:27
  happy we got to do it in person.
• 1:06:29
  This made it extra special.
• 1:06:30
  Um, and thank you, listener for making it all the way to the
• 1:06:33
  end of this episode with us.
• 1:06:35
  We appreciate you.
• 1:06:36
  And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must
• 1:06:39
  first become an unshakeable human.
• 1:06:41
  So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design.
• 1:06:44
  We'll see you next time.