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Voddie Baucham - Established in Christ - Discipling your Children · Voddie Baucham Sermons

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  Speaker 1: Family Discipleship 101. Whenever we talk about family discipleship, we
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  Speaker 1: have to talk about the clearest passage of Scripture in
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  Speaker 1: the Bible in that regard. Ephesians 6, 1-4, which is
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  Speaker 1: a combination of what we find in Deuteronomy 5 and
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  Speaker 1: Deuteronomy 6 about the same topic. Children, obey your parents
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  Speaker 1: and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father
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  Speaker 1: and your mother. This is the first commandment with a
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  Speaker 1: promise that it may go well with you. that you
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  Speaker 1: may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke
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  Speaker 1: your children to anger, but bring them up in the
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  Speaker 1: discipline and instruction of the Lord. So here in Ephesians 6, 1-4,
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  Speaker 1: we see clearly three phases.
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  Speaker 2: First, a discipline and training phase.
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  Speaker 1: Secondly, what I like to call a catechism phase. And
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  Speaker 1: then thirdly, discipleship phase. And we'll look at these in turn.
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  Speaker 1: But before we look at these, we need to address something.
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  Speaker 1: We need to address an objection. The objection to purposeful
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  Speaker 1: discipleship is that, aren't we presuming upon God? Isn't this
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  Speaker 1: what you were referring to yesterday, the whole recipe parenting?
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  Speaker 2: And in fact, no.
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  Speaker 1: What I'm talking about today is not about guaranteeing outcomes.
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  Speaker 1: It's about being obedient on the front end.
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  Speaker 2: Amen?
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  Speaker 1: But listen to this from Lorraine Beckman. The objection, or
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  Speaker 1: this objection, is completely answered by the great principle which
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  Speaker 1: we hold and teach, namely, that the means as well
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  Speaker 1: as the ends are foreordained. God's decree that the earth
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  Speaker 1: should be fruitful did not exclude but included the sunlight,
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  Speaker 1: the sores, the sunlight, the sores, the tillage of the husbandry.
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  Speaker 1: If God has foreordained a man to have a crop
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  Speaker 1: of corn... He has also foreordained him to plow and
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  Speaker 1: plant and cultivate and to do all other necessary things
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  Speaker 1: to secure the crop. The farmer is not presuming upon
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  Speaker 1: God because he does the work of farming. Amen?
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  Speaker 2: The godly farmer.
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  Speaker 1: Is not the one who walks out to his field
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  Speaker 1: and just looks at it and says, Well, we'll see
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  Speaker 1: if God wants us to eat. But he's the one
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  Speaker 1: who looks at it and says, Here are the things
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  Speaker 1: that we know to do. We will do them because
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  Speaker 1: they're right. And if the Lord wills, they will produce.
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  Speaker 1: But he also knows that he can do everything that
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  Speaker 1: he knows to do and there not be a problem. Amen?
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  Speaker 1: So this is not about presuming upon God. This is
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  Speaker 1: not about guarantees. This is about God foreordaining the ends
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  Speaker 1: as well as the means. And us employ all biblical
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  Speaker 1: means because we trust God and we understand that he
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  Speaker 1: is our only hope.
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  Speaker 2: Amen? Okay.
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  Speaker 1: So this first phase, the discipline and training phase. In
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  Speaker 1: this phase, we're saying to our child, give me your attention.
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  Speaker 2: Okay?
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  Speaker 1: Give me your attention. Human babies come into the world
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  Speaker 1: unlike what we see in the animal kingdom.
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  Speaker 2: It's amazing. You can see.
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  Speaker 1: You know, a horse can have foal and just within minutes,
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  Speaker 1: there's galloping and everything else, right?
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  Speaker 2: Other animals in the animal kingdom, they're born.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I'm sure you've seen either the
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  Speaker 1: dolphin giving birth or the whale giving birth and this
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  Speaker 1: film or this amazing thing that happens and they come
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  Speaker 1: out and they're swimming and they're doing their thing.
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  Speaker 2: Giving babies. Not so much, right? absolutely and utterly dependent.
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  Speaker 1: And because of that, our posture toward our children is
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  Speaker 1: that we have to pay much more attention to them
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  Speaker 1: than they do to us when they get here.
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  Speaker 2: There's some horrible dependence, right?
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  Speaker 1: Well, in this phase, it's important to realize that we
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  Speaker 1: have to get to a point where we communicate to
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  Speaker 1: our children that they have to pay much more attention
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  Speaker 1: to us than we do to them, okay?
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  Speaker 2: This is the phase where we say, give me your attention.
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  Speaker 2: All right? Listen to this.
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  Speaker 1: From 1 Samuel 3. And the Lord came and stood,
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  Speaker 1: calling as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. And Samuel said, speak,
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  Speaker 1: for your servant hears. Then the Lord said to Samuel, behold,
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  Speaker 1: I am about to do a thing in Israel at
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  Speaker 1: which the two ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.
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  Speaker 2: What a word picture.
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  Speaker 1: On that day, I will fulfill against Eli all that
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  Speaker 1: I have spoken concerning his house from beginning to end.
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  Speaker 1: And I declare to him that I'm about to punish
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  Speaker 1: his house forever for the iniquity that he knew. Because
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  Speaker 1: his sons were blaspheming God and he did not restrain them.
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  Speaker 1: By the way, not only were his sons grown men,
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  Speaker 1: they were priests. Therefore, I swear to the house of
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  Speaker 1: Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be
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  Speaker 1: atoned for by sacrifice.
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  Speaker 2: Or offering forever. Folks, that's one of the scariest passages
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  Speaker 2: in the entire Bible. It just is. If you're a parent,
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  Speaker 2: that just makes your knees weak. Amen?
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  Speaker 1: Listen to this. John Wesley commenting on this passage. He
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  Speaker 1: contended himself with a cold recruit and did not punish
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  Speaker 1: and effectually restrain them. They who can and do not
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  Speaker 1: restrain others from sin make themselves partakers of the guilt.
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  Speaker 1: Those in authority will have a great deal to answer
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  Speaker 1: for if the sword they bear be not a terror
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  Speaker 1: to evildoers. Alexander McLaren, commenting on the same passage. We
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  Speaker 1: may learn from Eli how cruel parental laxity is and
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  Speaker 1: how fatal mischief may be done by neglect of the
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  Speaker 1: plain duty of restraining children. He who tolerates evil, which
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  Speaker 1: it is in his province to suppress, is an accomplice,
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  Speaker 1: and the blood of the.
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  Speaker 2: Doers is red upon his hands. Matthew Henry.
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  Speaker 1: Those who do not restrain the sins of others, when
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  Speaker 1: it is in their power to do it, make themselves
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  Speaker 1: partakers of the guilt and will be charged as joining
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  Speaker 1: in it.
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  Speaker 2: Now, this is interesting.
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  Speaker 1: We understand this in other arenas. You know, the streets
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  Speaker 1: right out here, I noticed there was a bus stop
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  Speaker 1: right across the street. Imagine, you know, we're out there,
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  Speaker 1: we're finished, and we're talking, and all of a sudden,
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  Speaker 1: you know, up comes a young man. There's a lady
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  Speaker 1: standing there at the bus stop, an older woman. The
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  Speaker 1: young man comes up to the old woman, hits her
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  Speaker 1: in the head, takes her purse, and runs off. Then
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  Speaker 1: we notice, just a few meters away, there's a policeman
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  Speaker 1: who didn't do anything about it. not only would we
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  Speaker 1: be upset with the young man who hit the old
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  Speaker 1: lady in the head and took her purse, but wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: we also be upset with the police officer?
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: And would it be okay if when we came to
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  Speaker 1: the police officer and said, why didn't you restrain that man?
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  Speaker 1: He said, well, you know how they are at that age. Hmm?
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  Speaker 1: Or if he just said, well, I can't change his heart.
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  Speaker 1: Would that be an acceptable excuse for him not using
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  Speaker 1: the authority that he's been given in order to restrain
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  Speaker 1: the evil? You see, our discipline of our children is
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  Speaker 1: not about making them perfect.
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  Speaker 2: Our discipline of.
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  Speaker 1: Our children is not about us thinking that we can
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  Speaker 1: change their heart through these external means. It is about
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  Speaker 1: our duty and responsibility to restrain their wickedness. Okay? This
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  Speaker 1: is the vision of Jonathan Edwards. If you say you
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  Speaker 1: cannot restrain your children, this is no excuse. For it
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  Speaker 1: is a sign that you have brought up your children
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  Speaker 1: without government, that your children regard not your authority. When
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  Speaker 1: parents lose their government over their children, their reproofs and
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  Speaker 1: counsel signify but little. How many parents are there who
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  Speaker 1: are exceedingly faulty on this account? How few are there
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  Speaker 1: who are thorough in maintaining order and government in their families?
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  Speaker 1: How is family government in a great measure vanished?
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  Speaker 4: And how many are as likely to bring a curse
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  Speaker 4: upon their families as Eli? This is one principal ground
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  Speaker 4: of the corruptions which prevail in the land. This is
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  Speaker 4: the foundation of so much debauchery and of such corrupt
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  Speaker 4: practice among young people.
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  Speaker 2: By the way, he's in the 1700s.
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  Speaker 1: Family government... is in a great measure extinct. By neglect
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  Speaker 1: in this particular, parents bring the guilt of their children's
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  Speaker 1: sins upon their own souls, and the blood of their
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  Speaker 1: children will be required at their hands. What would he
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  Speaker 1: say today? What would Edwards say today? Well, discipline and
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  Speaker 1: training phase. What are we teaching our children during this phase?
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  Speaker 1: And it's clear from 6.4. Or 6, 1 through 4. Children,
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  Speaker 1: obey your parents in the Lord.
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  Speaker 2: Right? So we're teaching them to do what they're told.
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  Speaker 3: Tell your child.
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  Speaker 1: To do something and they don't do it. They've disobeyed you. Right?
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  Speaker 2: Children, obey their parents and the Lord. So this is clear.
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  Speaker 2: We're going to teach our children to do what they're told.
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  Speaker 1: Most simple, right? Secondly, to do it when they're told.
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  Speaker 1: I'll tell you to do something and you don't do it,
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  Speaker 1: you've disobeyed. I'll tell you to do something and you
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  Speaker 1: don't do it right away, but decide you're going to
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  Speaker 1: do it when you feel like it. That's delayed obedience.
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  Speaker 1: And it's quite interesting. It's fascinating that the word for
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  Speaker 1: delayed obedience is the same in the Greek and the Hebrew.
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  Speaker 2: It's amazing.
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  Speaker 1: Rarely do you see this, where the word is the
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  Speaker 1: same in the Greek and the Hebrew. And the word
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  Speaker 1: in the Greek and the Hebrew for delayed obedience is disobedience. Finally,
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  Speaker 1: we teach them to do it with a respectful attitude.
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  Speaker 1: To do what they're told, when they're told, and to
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  Speaker 1: do it with a respectful attitude. This is what we're
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  Speaker 1: shooting for. Well, here's the question. Do we expect our
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  Speaker 1: children to be perfect in this?
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely. The moment you're perfect with your obedience to God.
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  Speaker 1: Hmm?
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  Speaker 2: Isn't that amazing? Isn't it amazing?
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  Speaker 1: We're just all upset because I keep having to tell
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  Speaker 1: you the same thing over and over and over again. Really?
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  Speaker 2: Is that you talking to your kid or is that
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  Speaker 2: God talking to you?
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  Speaker 1: Hmm? Isn't that amazing? Now, we look at our children
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  Speaker 1: and we just, I just cannot understand why you, oh.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can.
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  Speaker 1: You look at your own life for just a few
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  Speaker 1: moments and it'll be clear, right?
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  Speaker 2: It'll be very clear, okay?
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  Speaker 1: But does the fact that we can't expect this to
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  Speaker 1: be done perfectly excuse us from pursuing it?
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  Speaker 2: No, it doesn't. Our kids take piano. Are our kids
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  Speaker 2: ever going to play perfectly? No.
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  Speaker 1: No, but we expect them to practice and practice and
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  Speaker 1: practice and to continue to get better and better and better.
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  Speaker 2: Right? Kids, you play sports. Are you ever going to
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  Speaker 2: play the perfect game? No.
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  Speaker 3: No.
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  Speaker 1: They're not going to play the perfect game. There's always
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  Speaker 1: room for improvement. Yet, you continue to pursue it, right?
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  Speaker 1: It's the same thing when it comes to this issue
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  Speaker 1: with our children. We continue to pursue it, not because
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  Speaker 1: we expect it to be perfection, but number one, because
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  Speaker 1: it's our duty as parents. And secondly, because we do
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  Speaker 1: see growth in this, and it does shape many things.
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  Speaker 2: We'll get to that in a minute. What do we avoid?
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  Speaker 2: Number one, avoid inconsistency. Avoid inconsistency. What's inconsistency?
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  Speaker 1: Classic inconsistency with the discipline of children is mom has
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  Speaker 1: one standard, dad has another.
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  Speaker 2: That's the classic inconsistency.
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  Speaker 1: Mom draws the line here, dad draws the line here,
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  Speaker 1: child learns to manipulate parents. If you want this, go
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  Speaker 1: ask that parent. If you want that, go ask the
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  Speaker 1: other parent. Because we know that there's an inconsistency and
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  Speaker 1: we know how to exploit it.
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  Speaker 2: Okay?
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  Speaker 1: That's what inconsistency does for us and for our children.
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  Speaker 1: Another form of inconsistency is we have one standard at
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  Speaker 1: home and another standard in public.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: One standard at home, another standard in public. By the way,
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  Speaker 1: for those of you who are grandparents, and I told
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  Speaker 1: you Bridget and I just became grandparents on the 6th
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  Speaker 1: of this month. I know she doesn't look like it,
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  Speaker 1: but we are grandparents. Another form of inconsistency, well, there's
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  Speaker 1: one standard at home, but then when they come to
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  Speaker 1: the grandparents' house, we don't uphold the standard that our
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  Speaker 1: children have set for our grandchild. And we let them
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  Speaker 1: get away with murder and then send them back for
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  Speaker 1: the parents to deal with the consequences. Folks, that's wrong.
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  Speaker 2: That's unacceptable. Right? That's unacceptable.
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  Speaker 1: But then there's that consistency, one expectation here, one expectation
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  Speaker 1: in public. And that usually centers around the fact that
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  Speaker 1: when we discipline our children, it's not about their soul,
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  Speaker 1: it's about our reputation.
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  Speaker 2: We just want them to not embarrass us. That's not enough. Second, anger.
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  Speaker 1: Anger. Why is it so important that we avoid using anger?
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  Speaker 1: Because James makes it clear. The anger of man does
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  Speaker 1: not produce the righteousness of God. Anger does not produce righteousness.
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  Speaker 1: And when we're angry.
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  Speaker 5: With our children, and I want you to see the
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  Speaker 5: veins coming out of my neck, and I want you
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  Speaker 5: to hear my voice, and I want you to see
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  Speaker 5: this face, because I want you to remember this face
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  Speaker 5: and never do this thing again.
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  Speaker 2: Because you're afraid of this face. Ooh, that's not righteousness,
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  Speaker 2: that's idolatry.
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  Speaker 1: If I'm pursuing what you say is holy and what
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  Speaker 1: you say is righteous because I'm afraid of your.
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  Speaker 2: Displeasure, that's not righteousness. That's not repentance. What is repentance?
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  Speaker 1: To be sorry for sin and to hate and forsake
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  Speaker 1: it because it is displeasing to God, not because I
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  Speaker 1: don't want to see that face. If somebody's avoiding sin,
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  Speaker 1: because they don't like your displeasure, you've taught them idolatry.
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  Speaker 1: We don't use anger. Okay?
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  Speaker 2: We don't use anger. That's when we abuse our children.
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  Speaker 1: I remember on more than one occasion, Bridget sending a
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  Speaker 1: child to me. Or me sending a child to Bridget.
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  Speaker 1: I remember one of our sons in particular. She was like,
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  Speaker 1: you know what? You need to deal with your son.
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  Speaker 2: Why? So he can live. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, he needs to survive one more day. And so
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  Speaker 1: he's dead right now. We don't discipline our children with anger.
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  Speaker 2: Right? We don't do that. We don't do that.
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  Speaker 1: Because anger is about me venting my wrath. It's not
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  Speaker 1: about training my child. Okay? Avoid contradiction. Contradiction is like what?
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  Speaker 1: I have here counting and repeating. These are contradictions. You know,
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  Speaker 1: picture the child. You know, the child is up playing
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  Speaker 1: with their friends and then you call the child.
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  Speaker 2: You know, Jimmy. Jimmy's up there with his friends. Jimmy's like, hey,
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  Speaker 2: should we go? Nah, we shouldn't go yet. Come on,
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  Speaker 2: we can keep playing. Calls back later and laughs, Jimmy! Jimmy! Hey,
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  Speaker 2: she called. That was a little loud. Should we go? No,
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  Speaker 2: not yet.
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  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, mom yells up, uses
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  Speaker 1: all of his given names, and he goes, yeah, we
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  Speaker 1: should put it on now. Because she's not serious until
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  Speaker 1: the veins are popping out of her neck, and she's
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  Speaker 1: using all of my given names.
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  Speaker 2: Right? Or counting.
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  Speaker 1: Jimmy, you need to pick that up. Jimmy doesn't move.
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  Speaker 2: One.
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  Speaker 1: Two.
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  Speaker 2: Three.
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  Speaker 1: Now, in both instances, what are we doing? In both instances,
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  Speaker 1: we're teaching Jimmy delayed obedience. We're actually training him in
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  Speaker 1: delayed obedience, which is sin. So we ought to just
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  Speaker 1: be honest. Hey, Jimmy, mommy wants to teach you something.
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  Speaker 1: Daddy wants to teach you something. I want to teach
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  Speaker 1: you how not to obey the first time. I want
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  Speaker 1: to teach you to wait until I use all your
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  Speaker 1: names or to wait until I.
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  Speaker 2: Count to three.
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  Speaker 1: Because I think it's very important that you learn a
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  Speaker 1: skill called delayed obedience, which in the Hebrew and the
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  Speaker 1: Greek is disobedience. Okay?
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  Speaker 2: So we avoid contradictions like that. What do we employ?
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  Speaker 1: We employ encouragement. One of the great things, God is...
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  Speaker 1: So kind. He sends children to us eager to please us.
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  Speaker 1: When they're small, they're just eager to please us. You
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  Speaker 1: put one picture up on the refrigerator and you will
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  Speaker 1: get more.
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  Speaker 2: Amen? They want you to be happy. They want to
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  Speaker 2: please you. They just want to. Use encouragement. Secondly, use instruction.
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  Speaker 2: Use instruction.
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  Speaker 1: It's amazing how often we demand from our children that
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  Speaker 1: they do things that we've never actually taught them to do.
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  Speaker 2: Instruction.
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  Speaker 1: It must be purposeful. It must be consistent. It must
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  Speaker 1: be biblical. How do we use the Bible to instruct?
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  Speaker 1: Let me give you some examples. We use the law,
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  Speaker 1: we use wisdom, we use the gospel in instructing our children.
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  Speaker 1: In using the law, teach your children the Ten Commandments.
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  Speaker 1: Teach your children the Decalogue. This summary of For God
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  Speaker 1: is righteousness. Teach it to them.
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  Speaker 2: They need to know. They need to know the Ten Commandments.
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  Speaker 2: They need to know them by heart. They need to
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  Speaker 2: know them right off.
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  Speaker 1: Alright?
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  Speaker 2: Apply them to real life. Apply them to real life.
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  Speaker 1: Okay?
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  Speaker 2: By the way, I just did that a few moments
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  Speaker 2: ago when we were talking about anger. What did I say?
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  Speaker 1: You know, the Bible says the anger of man doesn't
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  Speaker 1: produce the righteousness of God.
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  Speaker 2: And we have them responding to our anger. I said
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  Speaker 2: that was what? Idolatry. Idolatry, which is a violation of
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  Speaker 2: the first commandment, right? Do you see?
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  Speaker 1: So don't just teach those commandments, but apply them to
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  Speaker 1: real life.
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  Speaker 2: Show, show how all.
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  Speaker 1: Of our sins really comes down to a violation of
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: the tech law. Thirdly, warn your children. Warn your children.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: There are plenty of warnings in Scripture for violations of
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: the law of God. But finally, remember that the law
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: is not an end in itself.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: It has a purpose.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: So, using the law.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Look at this. Genesis 2, 15-16. We ourselves, Galatians, Galatians 2, 15-16.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: We ourselves are Jews by birth and not Gentile sinners.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Yet we know that a person is not justified by
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: works of the law, but through faith in Jesus Christ.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: So we also have believed in Christ Jesus in order
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: to be justified by faith.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: In Christ and not by works of the law. Because
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: by works of the law, no one will be justified.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Galatians 3. 23 to 26.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Now, before faith came, we were held captive under the law,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: imprisoned until becoming faith would be revealed. So then the
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: law was our guardian until Christ came in order that
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: we might be justified by faith. But now that faith
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: has come, we are no longer under a guardian for
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus, you are all sons
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: of God through faith. So the law is not an
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: end in itself. It points us somewhere else. It points
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: us to the gospel, all right? It points us to
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: the gospel. But it's very important for us. I said
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: this on yesterday.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Let me say it again.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: It's very important that we use the law and the
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: instruction of our children because if we don't, we run
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: the risk of really having them rooted and grounded in self-righteousness.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: If they don't understand that there is a God who
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: has a righteous law that they have violated, they will
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: not fully understand the gospel. They will not understand the penal, substitutionary,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: atoning death of Christ. They will not understand why Christ
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: is so worthy of worship. Unless and until they understand
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: the law and the condemnation that it brought.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: They won't get it. But then on the other side.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: We won't understand sanctification if we don't understand the law
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: because we don't understand what sin is being rooted out
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: of us and what righteousness is being produced in us unless.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: We understand the righteous law. So it's important, but it's
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: not an end in itself.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: And oftentimes, parents will err on either side of the road.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: There's a ditch on both sides of the road.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: On the one side of the road, there's a parent,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: you know, who uses the law, but does not understand
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: that the law is not an end in itself. Uses
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: the law as an end. Well, that brings legalism and self-righteousness.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Then there's the parent who avoids.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: The law, you know, and we're just gospel, gospel, gospel, gospel, gospel,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: and there is no law. What does that do? It
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: brings self-righteousness and legalism. All right. Using wisdom.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: How do we use wisdom to instruct? And this is
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: really important. This is an area that's more common to us,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: especially in the homeschool movement, than using the law would be.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Using the wisdom, using Proverbs and things like that. We
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: have to understand the difference between indicatives and imperatives. We
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: have to understand that Christ is the repository of all
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: wisdom and that the New Testament interprets the Old Testament.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Indicatives and imperatives. We talked about this one yesterday. Indicatives
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: tell us what something is. This is a microphone. Imperators,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: tell us what to do. Speak into the microphone. This
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: is incredibly important.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: All right? Let me show you why. Here's Proverbs 12,
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: 15 and 16.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: but a wise man listens to advice. The vexation of
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: an insult. Now, I bring that to my child, my
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: unconverted child, and there's two ways that I can employ this.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I can say, listen, the prophet says the fool, the
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: way of the fool is right in his own eyes.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: But a wise man listens to advice. Son, you need
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: to listen to advice. The vexation of the fool is
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult. Son,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I say something to you and your vexation is written
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: all over your face.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: You need to learn to control that. What's the problem?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: These are indicatives, not imperatives. This proverb is not here
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: so that you can tell your child to manufacture this.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: This can't be manufactured. This is what righteousness produces. Now,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: the way I just used those proverbs, I just taught my.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Son that you can make yourself righteous if you try
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: hard enough. That's not what this proverb teaches. So how
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: would I then use this proverb? The way of a
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: man listens to advice. Son, you don't listen to advice
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: because you're a fool. You are the fool of the
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: book of Proverbs.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: The vexation of a fool is known at once, but
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: the prudent ignores an insult. Son, you know one of
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: the telltale signs that you are still walking in folly?
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Every time something is said to you that you find disagreeable,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: it shows all over your face. What this means is,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: righteousness is not being manifested in you. Who is the
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: wise son of Proverbs? Jesus Christ is the wise son
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: of Proverbs.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Not you.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Proverbs is not there so that you can work hard
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: enough to become the wise son of Proverbs. Proverbs is
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: there to show you what it looks like when the
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: wise son of Proverbs is being manifested in you in
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: the form of sanctification. Son, the reason that you're struggling
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: with this is that you need Christ. And every time
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the vexation shows on your face, you're reminded that you
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: need Christ.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Every time you despise advice and.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Want to go your own way and think you know everything,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: you're being reminded that you're the.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Fool of Proverbs and not the wise son of Proverbs.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: And the only way to become the wise son of
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Proverbs is to be found in the wise son of Proverbs,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: who is Christ himself. You see, the first way points
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: my son to self-righteousness. The second way points him to
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: the cross. Please tell me you see this. Because our
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: natural tendency is to do this the first way. We
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: turn Proverbs into law. And use the book of Proverbs
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: as though we can actually make our children righteous by
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: showing them these things that are evident in the wise
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: son and just say, here's the stuff you need to
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: do when they're indicative and not imperative. Proverbs 28, 1.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: are bold as lions. Again, son, you need to be
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: bold as a lion. No.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: No, this boldness. Who's bold here? The righteous. The righteous.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Saying, son, you need to be bold as a lion
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: is basically saying, son, you need to be righteous. And
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: if you just make yourself braver, you can make yourself righteous.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: There are imperatives.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: In the wisdom literature. Trust in the Lord with all
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes. Fear
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. By
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: the way, that's a call to repentance and faith.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Amen?
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: That's a call to repentance and faith. An example of both.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline. or be
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: weary of his reproof. For the Lord reproves him whom
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: he loves as a father, the son in whom he delights.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: So, we need to use wisdom. Secondly, Christ is the
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: repository of all wisdom.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Listen to this in Colossians 2, 1-3. For I want
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: you to know how great a struggle I have for
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you and for those at Laodicea and for all who
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: have not seen me face to face. that their hearts
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: all the riches of full assurance of understanding and knowledge
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: of God's mystery, which is in Christ, in whom are
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Where do you find the wisdom of Proverbs? In Christ.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Who is the wise son of Proverbs? Christ. Jesus is
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: the wise son of Proverbs. Okay?
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: By the way, if Jesus is the wise son of Proverbs,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: who's the Proverb 31 woman?
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: It ain't you, ladies. It's the church.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: That's actually not a template for a single woman's life.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: It's a template for the godly bride of Christ. Some
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: of y'all need to just be free from that. So
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: how do we apply this? Don't teach wisdom.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: As law. Don't teach wisdom as law. It's not.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Proverbs is not a law book. It's a wisdom book.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Don't treat it like a law book.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Okay? That leads to self-righteousness and legalism. Don't do it.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Secondly, always point back to Christ as the fulfillment of Proverbs.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Not effort. Point to Christ, not effort.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Please stop telling your children that they can be the
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: wise son of Proverbs if they just try harder. Christ
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: is the wise son of Proverbs and you can't beat
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: him no matter how hard you try. But you can
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: be conformed to his image if you come to him
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: in repentance and faith. Okay?
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Always point to Christ as a source of true wisdom
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: because he is. All right? Folks, this is so important.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, we could just stay right here forever, especially
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: because this is so popular in our circles.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Go to the Proverbs and use the Proverbs for character development,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: for character training. Right?
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: Think about that. What are we saying? What are we saying?
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: that you can have character independent of regeneration. All right.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: And remember, finally, the New Testament interprets the old.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Christ is the interpretive key to the entire Bible.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: He is. I love it. On the road to Emmaus.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: You know? Walking with these guys on the road to Emmaus.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: And he... Starts with the law and in all of
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: the scriptures.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: He teaches them the things concerning himself. Okay?
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Genesis 3.15 is the thesis statement of redemptive history. I'll
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: put enmity between you and the woman, between your seed
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: and her seed. You'll bruise his heel. He'll bruise your head.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: That's the thesis statement of redemptive history. The rest of
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: the Bible is the outworking of that thesis statement.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Okay? And then the furniture has not moved. I'll explain that.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Here's an example.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Whoever conceals his transgression, here's Proverbs 28, 13. Whoever conceals
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: his transgression will not prosper. But he who confesses and
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: forsakes them will obtain mercy. What does that sound like? Well,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: that sounds like this. Two men went up into the
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: temple to pray. One a Pharisee, the other a tax collector.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus. God, I thank
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: or even like this tax collector.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I fast twice a week. I give tithes of all
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I get.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: Tax collectors standing far off would not even lift up
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast saying, God,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: be merciful to me, a sinner. I tell you, this
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: man went down to his house justified rather than the other.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: one who humbles himself will be exalted. Now, why would
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: I limit myself to Proverbs 28, 13? when I have
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: a fuller expression of that in Luke. It's not that
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to teach this proverb, but it's that
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: when I teach it, number one, I'm going to point
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: to Christ as the wise son of Proverbs, and number two,
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go to the New Testament and show
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: a fuller expression of this so that I can put
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: it in the context of redemptive history.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Do you see this? Okay? Okay? So, trust me, if.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: You take just these things and go back home, right,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: and work your way through Proverbs, just remembering the difference
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: between indicative.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: And imperatives, okay? You just go back and do that.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Just remembering wisdom is not law. Just remembering Christ is
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: the repository of all wisdom. Remembering that he's the wise
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: son of Proverbs, right? Remembering that the New Testament will
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: interpret for us the Old Testament. And then that last one,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: the furniture hasn't moved. What do I mean by that
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: when I say the furniture hasn't moved? Well, what I
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: mean is that when you are reading the Old Testament,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: think about it as a house. When we're reading the
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Old Testament, we're not really coming into a house that's
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: completely different. We're just coming to a house where the
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: lights are on. Furniture's always been there.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: It's just in the New Covenant we have the privilege
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: of the lights being on. And we can actually see
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: more clearly what has always been true.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: I guarantee you, folks, you take these principles, you go
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: back and teach the book of Proverbs, two things are
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: going to happen. Number one, you're going to realize that
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: we've been mutilating this book in the way we teach it.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: And two, you are going to magnify Christ. It's amazing.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: You go through the book.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Of Proverbs like this, and you magnify Christ, and you
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: point to the gospel.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: Beating your children down and turning them.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Into little self-righteous legalists you will liberate them and point
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: them to the Savior okay alright and then of course
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: all of this points us to the gospel we showed
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: how even when you use the law and when you
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: use the wisdom all of it points to the gospel
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: so we employ encouragement we employ instruction and then finally
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: we employ correction hey.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: Is it legal to spank children here.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: It is?
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: Okay. It's illegal? It's illegal. Is it legal or illegal?
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: It's illegal.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: It's legal in Northern Ireland. It's legal in the Republic
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: of Ireland, but illegal in Northern Ireland. That's what somebody said.
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: It's not in the law yet.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: It's not in the law yet. Okay, alright. I'm just
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: trying to see if I'm getting ready to get arrested. Correction. Spanking.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: It's biblical.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: It's not legal in a number of places, which is
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: just further evidence of us moving away from any objective
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: standard of morality. This is Wesley. But some will tell
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: you all this is lost labor. A child need not
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: be spanked at all. Instruction, persuasion, and advice will be
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: sufficient for any child without spanking, especially if general reproof
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: be added.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: As the occasion may require. Listen, I love the way
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: he answers this.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I answer, there may be particular instances wherein this method
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: may be successful, but you must not in any wise
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: lay this down as a universal rule. unless you suppose
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: yourself wiser than Solomon, or to speak more properly, wiser
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: than God. For it is God himself who best knoweth
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: his own creatures, that has told us expressly, He that
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: spareth the rod hateth his son, but he that loveth
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: him chasteneth him betimes. And upon this is grounded that
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: plain commandment, directed to all that fear God. Chasten thy
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: son while there is hope, and let not thy soul
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: spare for his crimes. So, thank you, children.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: We're teaching them that God has all and ultimate authority.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Number two, we're teaching them that we surrender and submit
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: to God who commanded that this is the way that
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: we apply discipline to them. Thirdly, we're teaching them that
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: as God's representative in the homeless, We are the ones
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: who exercise that authority. And fourthly, that we exercise that
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: authority under another authority and not our own.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: That's incorrect. Yeah, that's incorrect. That's an incorrect interpretation. It's
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: not even debatable.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Even in this text here, chasing my son while there
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: is hope and do not spare for his crying.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: If you beat him with the rod he will.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Not die that is absolutely impossible as an interpretation for
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: the rod of correction it's grasping at straws but it
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: is an absolute violation of scripture the bible could not
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: be clearer the rod of correction is about applying spanking
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: to children and it cannot be anything else.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Next phase catechism phase give me your.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Mind First one, give me your attention. Second one, give
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: me your mind. In this phase, we give instruction, warning, okay?
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: This is that nuthesia and nuthetic counseling comes from this word.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: We teach our children what to believe and we teach
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: our children why to believe it in this phase.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: What do we avoid? Again, inconsistency.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: We avoid comparison and we avoid a one-size-fits-all mentality.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: What do we employ?
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: We employ scripture memory. We employ the great hymns of
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: the faith. CDs, music, and things like that that will
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: help them remember. And we employ a catechism that fits.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: our faith tradition. It's very important that we do this
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: during this phase. This phase begins when our children become verbal.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: As soon as our children become verbal, we enter into
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: this phase. And we take advantage of that incredible memory.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: I say catechism, and oftentimes people sort of get perplexed.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Catechism is a form of instruction by means of questions
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: and answers, particularly in the principles of religion, okay?
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: That's what a catechism is in its simplest form. So,
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: as far as.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: Catechism goes, the most popular catechism, the best known catechism
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: in the world would be the Westminster Shorter Catechism, right?
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: And so if I say, what is the chief end
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: of man? You say, to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, right?
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: And so we understand that. And you learn through this
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: series of questions and answers. Catechisms were designed not only
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: to teach children, but catechism was designed to teach new
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: converts the basics of the faith as well, okay? This
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: roots and grounds them in the faith. Third phase, discipleship phase.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: Give me your hands. So we've gone from give me
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: your attention, right? I need your attention, there's some stuff
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: I've got to teach you. Okay?
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: To give me your mind. To where we teach them
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: what to believe, how to believe it, right?
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Pour all the information in there that we can. And
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: now we say give me your hand. In this phase,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: we're going to walk together. This is the paideia, or discipline,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: or walking together. Teaching them to live out what they've
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: come to believe. And teaching them through life-on-life interactions. What
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: do we do during this time? We maximize our time together.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Here's the great irony. This phase really is a phase
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: that begins around biblical adulthood. And I say biblical adulthood
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: because culturally we're pushing adulthood further and further into the
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: future for people, right? Biblical adulthood now we say is
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: probably somewhere in the 30s. I mean, our cultural adulthood.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Biblical adulthood, by the way, is 12.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: 12 or 13 years. Right?
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: That's when you enter biblical adulthood. There's a reason that
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: we only see Jesus at two ages. Because there were
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: three phases understood in life. There's the child, right? Birth
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: to 12. And then we see Jesus at 12. Let
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: me say it again, right? Adulthood, 12 to about 29.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: And then at 30, for example, you couldn't become a
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: rabbi until you were 30. Because at 30, you entered
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: into mature adulthood or senior adulthood.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: So we see him at 12 and we see him
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: at 30.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: What do we avoid? Avoid shipping your kids off during
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: this crucial time.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: The great irony is that our culture tells us that
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: this is the time when our children need their independence
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: from us. When the opposite is actually true. This is
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: the time when our children need us more than ever.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: When they enter into their teen years, folks, my children
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: do not need a wolf pack of teenagers. They don't
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: need anybody else. to teach them how to be a teenager.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: They know how to do that.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: Amen? They don't need to share their wisdom with a
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: bunch of other fools.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: They need to be in the company of men and
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: women because they're becoming men and women. They don't need
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: somebody to teach them how to be teenagers. They need
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: somebody to teach them how to be men, to teach
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: them how to be women. This is that Titus 2 instruction.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: It's incredibly important that our children have this at this
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: phase of their life. So we avoid shipping them off
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: during this crucial time. Ironically, this is prime boarding school time, right?
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: When they need us the most. Avoid discipleship by proxy.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: Avoid discipleship by proxy. Hey, praise God for people in
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: your life or in your church who can be of
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: help and assistance to you, but God sent that child
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: home to you.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: You're their disciple.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Other people can help you do it, but nobody can
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: do it for you. Avoid so-called gender confusion. This is
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: becoming increasingly important. Young men need to be taught and
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: shaped by men. Young women need to be taught and
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: shaped by women. And I say so-called gender confusion because
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: that's the word that we know, but that word is
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: fraught with difficulty. Because human beings don't actually have genders.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: We have sexes. Nouns have genders.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: A noun can be masculine, feminine, neutered, whatever. Human beings
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: are male and female. We have sexes.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: The terminology gender has been introduced and forced upon us
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: because it is the precursor to introducing the idea of
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: multiplying the genders, almost limitless gender possibilities where it means
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: absolutely nothing.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: So-called gender confusion. We avoid that. What do we employ?
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Number one, we employ Tanya.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: And again, this is the period where culturally we have
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: been taught, convinced, and conditioned to distance ourselves from our children.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: What are we becoming a men and women of? And
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: they need to have their space so that they can
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: go and explore and do that.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: No, they don't.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: Maximize interaction with other significant adults. This is important. We
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: need to maximize our children's interaction with other significant adults.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: And we need to be purposeful about this, right? And
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: when I say other significant adults, what I mean by that.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Is not necessarily being a respecter of persons.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: But there are certain people who have life experiences that
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: are difficult to come by. When we come by them,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: if we can expose our children.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: To them, we ought to.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: We ought to.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Somebody who remembers the Blitz, right? Who remembers being a
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: child going down to a basement during that time. who
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: has stories to tell about surviving that important era.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: See, I want my kids to sit down and listen
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: to that person. Okay? And I want them to learn
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: how to sit down and listen to people. It's amazing.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: Young people don't understand that.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: We don't get that because of this child-centric mentality that
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: we have. We are raising children who believe that their
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: voice is the most important voice in the world. And
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: they do not know how to sit down, shut their mouth,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: and listen to somebody who can teach them something. You know,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: if I'm 47 years old, oftentimes when I'm in a
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: room with, you know, others who are dealing with adults,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: if I'm not asked something, I'll just say, I'll be quiet.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: I'll be quiet.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: I remember the first time when I was with R.C.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Sproul, John MacArthur, John Piper.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: These guys sitting around talking and doing their thing. And afterwards,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: my brother-in-law asked me, what did y'all talk about?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: I said, I didn't talk about nothing.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: I sat there with my mouth closed, soaking it in.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Young people today don't understand that. They believe theirs is
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: the most important voice in the world.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: Because they're 15 and they have their own Facebook page
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: and their own Twitter because they think they have something
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: to say that's important.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: And that people need to listen to it.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Instead of being part of a world that tells them,
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: you don't know anything, be quiet and listen.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: And so they don't. And there are people walking.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: All around them who have amazing things to teach them,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: and they don't learn them because they think too much
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: of themselves. We have got to stop that. We've got to.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: We've got to teach our children the incredible value of
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: not thinking that you're the most significant person in the
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: room and realizing what you can learn.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: If you just close your mouth. Because you really don't
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: have anything that important to contribute. Well, that just sounds
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: so disrespectful of you. Well, sorry, it's true. They just don't.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: But if they listen for a while, they could. Amen? Amen?
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: That's the irony.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: If you don't humble yourself and listen to people, then
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: you're not allowing them to put in you some things
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: that could create value.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: In what you say.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Supervised interaction with peers with a view toward critique and
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: correction and training. Again, we used to do this, right?
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: They used to actually be dancers. Chaperone dancers. And the
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: young people used to actually dress up and go to the...
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: dance and actually dance with one another. And there were
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: actually people there who monitored the dance and said, yeah,
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: y'all need to back up. And there was, and there
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: was this, it was awkward for them, but they got
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: over this social awkwardness.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: And they learned how to interact with each other.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: This was supervised interaction with peers, right? This was a
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: young man learning how to hold a young woman respectfully
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: and dance with her respectfully. This was important stuff. We
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: don't do it anymore. Now we just send them off
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: and they go twerking, right? Basically, today, when kids dance together,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: they have clothed sex.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: And it's demeaning. It's debased. And so, what do we
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: end up with?
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: We end up with either the irresponsibility of children running
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: and participating in this, or we lose that valuable thing
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: that we used to have. And there's nothing that replaces it.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Neither one of those is a good thing. Right? They
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: need that supervised interaction with one another. They need to
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: learn those valuable lessons about how they treat one another
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: and conduct themselves respectfully.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: And graciously and so on and so forth. Alright, so
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: we'll stop here. Couple of minutes before we go in.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Is there a question or.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Two? Yeah, the idea there is that with the supervision,
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: we have the opportunity to critique. We have the opportunity
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: to talk about things that were appropriate and things that
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: weren't appropriate and things that they need to learn how.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: To do or not learn how to do. Yeah, that's
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: what I mean.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Are our sons opening the doors for young lady?
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Are they pulling out their chairs? Are they doing.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: We don't know because they're always off doing that thing
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: and we're never around, right?
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: But if we are, we can... That supervised interaction, is
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: it always... Should it always be Christian on Christian? Is
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: it ever okay for the supervised interaction to be with
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: the world?
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: The question is the supervised interaction, is it always Christian
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: on Christian or does it have.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: No.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be Those dances weren't just, you know,
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Christian people. I mean, non-Christian people need to learn that too, right? Yeah.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: And what a great way to learn how to interact
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: with people who don't think like we do. Because oftentimes,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: especially in these circles, the only people our children ever
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: interact with are people who think just like they do.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: It's a great opportunity for them to have that interaction
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: and then be able to debrief, you know?
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Could you expand a little.
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: Bit on that, in that most of us, in our case,
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: most of our neighbors would be non-Christian, most of us
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: in this country are non-Christian. I suppose, even warnings and
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: lessons about.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Just the nature of our relationship with our non-Christian neighbors
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: and their children and their relationships with their children.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Well, that's a whole other session. He's asking if I
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: can expound on.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: The whole idea of having most of your neighbors non-Christians
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: and your children interacting with non-Christians and how we interact
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: with them.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: I was just saying, that's like a whole other session.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: But I guess if there was something that I could
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: say briefly, it is that we need to exercise wisdom.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: We need to exercise wisdom. And we need to not compromise.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: I think those two things need to guide us.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: We need to be wise, and we need not compromise.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: But we have to engage, right? We just, we have to,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: we need to. We need to do it, they need
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: us to do it, right? So we engage, and we
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: do so wisely. And we do so without compromise. And
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: we make sure that with our children, an example of
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: some things to set up. One of the things that
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: we've always done is we've always had a rule If
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: you ask me on the spot in front of the
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: other kid, the answer is no.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: So the kids.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: Come and they're like, hey, you know, Jimmy and his
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: family are getting ready to go to so-and-so.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: Can we go?
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: Even if I think it's a good idea, I look
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: at the kid and I go, what's the rule? Oh,
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: if I ask you in front of the kid, Jimmy,
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: we can't go. Because that's the rule, right?
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: Now, here's where that is helpful.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: Because it may be that Jimmy and his family, the
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: family I don't want my kid going off with by himself.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: Or where Jimmy and his family are going, I don't
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: want my kid to go. So instead of me.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Now having to make an issue of that in front
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: of Jimmy, I just cite the rule. And Jimmy hasn't
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: been singled out. If I need to have a conversation
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: with his parents, I can't. But I haven't just been
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: put in a position where I'm going to have a
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: child have to be the one to explain, you know, whatever, right?
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: Now Jimmy just has to go back and he has
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: to go. They can't go because the rule for them
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: is if they ask in front of the other person,
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: the other parent is probably going to go, yeah, I
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: So that's just an example. Why is the serpent? Harvest
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: is a dove. Putting things in place to help you
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: sort of navigate this. But.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: Like I said, there's so much more that can be
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: said on that, but I hope that is at least... Okay.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: All right. Thank you.