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5 Red flags of a Narcissist that you may have missed · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about 5 possible red flags that
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  you might be dealing with a narcissist or toxic person when
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  you're getting to know someone. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist.
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  Then welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So boom, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  So I don't know if you can tell I have a new camera.
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  This is my first video shooting with my new camera.
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  It's supposed to be 4K, so we'll see how it goes.
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  We'll see how it goes. Is a new little Sony handycam
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  like I used to have back in the day.
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  Just a better version of it. But yes, Yep, Yep, Yep. 5
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  narcissistic, toxic. Possible red flags, y'all, and
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  doing any of these things right here doesn't automatically mean
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  that you're dealing with a narcissist, y'all.
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  This is just like y'all, It's supposed.
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  It's supposed to make you supposed to make the red flags
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  go up. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's supposed to be these, these right here.
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  You know what I mean? So the very first one, this,
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  this is in no particular order, y'all.
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  This is just how I see it. This is just me talking to you
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  about it, you know what I mean? So the very first one is that
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  they are focused on their exes. Yeah, I'm telling you, I don't.
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  Yeah. Well, Lee, what if they're Co
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  parenting? And yeah, if they are focused on
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  their exes, it's a red flag to me.
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  You mean it doesn't have to be to you, but to me this is a
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  possible red flag because they're hyper focused on their
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  exes like in this. Not just in a bad way.
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  You know, a lot of people would just say if they only if they
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  say all my exes are crazy, should you be worried about it?
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  No, to me, they can also just speak highly, just consistently
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  highly of their exes. Like if it gets to the point
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  where it's, it's too much, you know what I mean?
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  Like they can speak extremely highly of their ex, but their ex
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  is no longer in the picture. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's a, that could be a form of manipulation as well, or it
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  could be mean that they are still stuck on their ex, right?
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  Like if they say all my ex's are crazy, of course that's red
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  flaggy, right? But it also if they say, oh, my
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  ex was an amazing person and I just missed them and I just,
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  they were great. They were, they were good and
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  great at every single thing that you could possibly be good or
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  great at. Like I'm just just amazed by
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  this person. I miss this person, blah, blah,
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  blah, Boo Boo Boo BBB, you know what I mean?
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  That's red flaggy to me. It might not be to you to me and
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  also y'all, I don't have the the mic like the this is a there's a
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  new mic on this has a mounted mic.
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  So let me know how what y'all think about the sound quality as
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  well. Y'all and I can possibly get a
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  possibly get a new mic to attach it and shout out to everybody
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  who does like the little super stickers super chats or whatever
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  they'll y'all help this get the camera.
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  So thank y'all so much appreciate y'all, but yes,
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  everybody who joins the channel memberships and does my support
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  groups as well. Thank you so much.
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  But yes, if they're focused on their exes, like I know I
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  understand if you Co parented with them, you have to talk
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  about them every once in a while to describe your relationship.
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  But if they're just talking trash about them all the time
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  for no reason, you're like you, you never even met the ex, but
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  they're still talking trash about them, right?
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  They're still hyper focused on bashing them or making them seem
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  like their ex is the bad person. That's red flaggy to me.
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  You know, to me, this red flaggy might not be to you again, but
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  to me it's super red flaggy. Yeah, So watch out for that
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  right there, y'all. Like, if they just keep continue
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  to bash their exes or talk good about their exes when they're
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  not around and things like that, Too much, too much is red
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  flaggy. Red flaggy.
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  You know what I'm saying? Because talking good about,
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  well, Lee, What? What?
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  How? Lee?
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  How the hell is talking good about somebody a red flag?
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  I'm glad you asked because think about like this.
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  If I'm talking good about somebody consistently around you
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  that you've never met, right, Either I ruined that
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  relationship, right? And I treated this person badly,
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  or I'm talking good about the last person to get you to do
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  something I want you to do to get you to change.
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  This is a form of manipulation, right?
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  Like I'm just talking, I'm speaking highly of my exes to
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  get you to change something about yourself or to get you to
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  step outside your comfort zone and do something that I want you
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  to do. That happens all the time too.
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  So that's something you have to consider right there, y'all?
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  That's a part of it. You know what I mean?
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  The second red flag is too good to be true like yeah, this is I
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  mean this is so simple right? This is the this is the simplest
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  form ever right here. Y'all too good to be true.
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  Like if it seems too good to be true, a lot of times it is.
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  You know what I mean? If this person seemed like they
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  just floated like if this person seemed like they were made in
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  that lab for you like they were made in a lab for you, that
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  might be super. That might be a huge red flag
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  right there also in the rain. That might be a super red flag
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  right there. Like this person like every
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  single thing about this person is amazing.
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  Like they pretty much if you have a dating profile, they
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  pretty much fit every single thing on your dating profile,
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  especially if you met on the dating app.
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  If y'all met on the dating app, then that could be it right
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  there as well. You see what I'm saying Like
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  that could be part of a manipulative person to be too
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  good to be true. Like they just move.
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  They're the perfect age, perfect height, perfect weight, perfect
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  whatever you've been looking for, your dream of person is
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  right in front of you. Just take your out.
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  I'm not saying it's impossible to be good.
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  I'm just saying just listen to your intuition because a lot of
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  times your intuition, your intuition is there to protect
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  you. I just did a video about
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  intuition yesterday. If it feels too good to be true,
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  a lot of times it is, right. A lot of times it is.
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  It's just, just just watch how you feel about this person.
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  Watch, watch that. Watch the, you know, if your
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  stomach starts bubbling when they're around, you get like the
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  bubble guts or you know what I mean?
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  Just just just watch. Look, I'm not saying just just
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  watch it right there. This is a red flag that a lot of
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  people, I mean, you hear you hear people talk about that
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  right there, y'all. So that one's just short and
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  sweet, straight to the point right there.
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  The third one I'll talk about right now is that they lie to
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  you, y'all. This is not y'all.
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  This should not, this should go without saying.
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  If they lie to you, that's what my big red y'all know.
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  I used to have the big red flag. If they lie, yeah.
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  If they are, if they lie to you, if they lie to you, if they lied
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  to you, you might even throw throw the whole person away if
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  they you could listen to me right here, y'all.
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  If they are willing to lie to you up front, if they're willing
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  to lie to you when they're getting to know you, what makes
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  you think this person is going to change later on?
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  You know what I mean? I'm not saying it to be me.
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  I'm just, I'm just saying like, if they're willing to lie to you
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  up front, what makes you think that they're going to change who
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  they are later on? You know, you discovered a lie.
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  Like they didn't willfully tell you that they were lying to you.
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  You had to go out of your way to discover the fact that they were
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  lying to you. What are you telling yourself in
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  that situation, in that scenario right there to be like, you know
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  what? I'm still gonna give this person
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  a chance. What are you saying to yourself
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  in that situation, that scenario right there?
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  You know, I know you lied to me, but you're still the one for me,
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  you know, because I know what the narcissist is going to say,
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  right? I know the possible narcissist
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  or toxic person, I know what they're going to say.
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  They're going to say, well, I lied to you because I really
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  like you. I didn't tell you I was married
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  because I knew you would leave me alone.
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  Of course, of course. Well, I didn't tell you that I
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  was, you know, dating somebody because.
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  Because Oh yeah, that's why I just got the Self Love Journal.
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  They just messaged me about it. Sorry y'all.
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  Thanks. Shout out to shout out to
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  whoever said that. Yeah, your name is first name is
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  H, last name is D. So yeah, thanks.
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  Shout out to you. HD just got the Self Love
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  Journal on Amazon. But of course they're going to
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  say this type of stuff to y'all because it benefits them in some
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  way to say this to you. It just does.
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  It's one of those things that's going to work for them.
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  They're going to lie to you upfront a lot of times because
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  it benefits them in some way, shape or form.
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  They're going to keep lying to you.
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  If you forgive one lie, they'll they think you'll forgive
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  another lie. Well, we sleep in separate
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  bedrooms. We're we're, we're not we I'm
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  still married, but we sleep in separate bedrooms.
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  Yeah. That's the biggest damn lie
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  right there. Is it possible that they could
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  be still married or in a relationship with somebody
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  raising kids together and they sleep in separate bedrooms?
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  Yes, I've heard of that before, but a lot of times they sleep in
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  the seven bedrooms after they don't clap cheeks.
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  They, when they're slid into the other bedroom slept together and
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  then they sleep in seven bedrooms like we sleep in seven
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  bedrooms, but it's we only together for the kids.
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  I'm on my way out. I'm filing for divorce next
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  week. What are you telling yourself in
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  this situation right here? If they lie to you early on,
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  they will lie to you later on. And if they tell you little
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  lies, they will, they will, they will become big lies.
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  They plant little lies in the beginning and the little lies
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  grow into big lies. So then they plant them and they
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  water them. They plant the, the little lying
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  seeds early on and they water them throughout the relationship
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  and they turn into big lying ass plants.
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  You know me, this happens too. So I'm just telling you right
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  now, in these situations, what are you telling yourself to be
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  like? You know what?
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  This is the one for me. I'm gonna give this person a
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  chance. This is it.
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  This is it. I'm, I'm gonna forgive these
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  lies. Stop giving people the benefit
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  of the doubt because they're cute.
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  Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt because they're
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  attractive. Stop giving them the benefit of
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  the doubt because they have money.
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  Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt because they make you
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  laugh. Liar like comedians lie all the
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  damn time. Handsome, beautiful people,
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  conventionally attractive people lie all the damn time.
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  People with money damn sure will lie to your ass.
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  You know what I'm saying? So if they lie to you, that's a
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  huge I say I pulled my red flag. I dropped, I dropped a couple of
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  red flags on the ground. They'll lie to you.
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  They'll keep doing the same things over and over again.
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  The next thing I will talk about y'all, is you have too much in
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  common. Now this doesn't seem like a red
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  flag Lee. How the hell does having too
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  much in common a red flag? Bear with me right here y'all,
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  if you have too much in common Le, it's red flaggy to me right
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  too much in common. That mean that could mean that
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  they're mirroring you If y'all? Like I said, like I said
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  earlier, if it's too good to be true, you have too much in
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  common. This is red flaggy for you.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like especially if you're
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  talking first, if you feel like you're sharing your likes and
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  dislikes first and then all of a sudden they just happen to like
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  and dislike the same thing. This is me trying to flag you
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  down like an air traffic controller.
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  No, they they don't have two. Don't they come in for a landing
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  over here, safe landing over here, safe landing over here.
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  You see what I'm saying? Is it possible to have a lot of
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  a lot of things in common? Yes.
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  But if they have the same things in common with you only after
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  telling you, only after you mentioned it, you see what I'm
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  saying? That's the mindset right there.
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  So you have to be very, very careful in this situation
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  because they will get to you. They will manipulate the hell
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  out of you. They will lie to you.
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  They will pretend to like the same thing that you like in
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  order to get some cheeks from you.
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  They will absolutely do that in order to sleep with you, in
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  order to have a baby by you, in order to get you back.
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  Yes, they will mirror you. If you have too much in common,
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  there could be a red flag or somebody that's mirroring you or
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  just lying about who they are. You see what I'm saying?
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  And the last thing I'll go over y'all, it's not it's not talked
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  about a lot. And I promise you I'm not trying
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  to offend anybody, but their religious belief or lack thereof
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  could be a red flag. Now let me say this right here
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  because like there's nothing wrong with being a religious
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  person, right? I'm a religious person.
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  I'm more spiritual than religious now because of how the
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  the world has been twisted up with certain religions and would
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  not be out their religious belief especially in a in a
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  dating profile. I tell people if they have their
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  religion sometimes in dating profile don't match with them
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  because if they have their religion up earth they could be
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  just using that to seem like a good person.
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  Fake religious ass people. The religion is fake.
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  They just pretend to be a Christian.
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  They pretend to be a Muslim. They pretend to be a Buddhist.
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  They pretend to be spiritual in order to get you Christian.
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  They they'll tell you they'll have Christian in their dating
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  bio. But then you get on the first
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  date and you find that they're, they're, you find out that
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  they're still married. Oh, we see beside the rooms.
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  Oh, they, they tell you all five of these, all five of these red
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  flags on the on the, on the same date only lied to you because I
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  ain't really liked you. And we match.
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  We had a line in common and I know you wouldn't believe it.
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  And my ex is kind of crazy. We see you the same day and I
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  like the same things you like. Come on now, y'all come on up.
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  Yeah, we got in this situation right here.
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  We got to wake up. We have to wake up because they
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  will absolutely do this over and over again.
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  The fake religious people blow my damn mind.
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  They claim to be religious, but they live unreligiously,
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  unreligiously. They're not religious.
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  They fake it. They just put it in their dating
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  profile. They just say they are to
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  manipulate you with one of my old friends.
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  Boy, he, he, he will. He claimed to be a Muslim.
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  He would be fasting and everything.
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  But his life, the way the life that he lived was not Muslim.
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  That man doing Ramadan, be out here just doing the crazy.
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  Like, I thought it was Ramadan. Oh, yeah.
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  But you can do certain things doing Ramadan.
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  If you what? What?
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  Really. Like, he would go out here and
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  he would be fasting, but he'd be cheating.
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  What are you doing? You mean he got here fasting,
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  but he'd be doing all kinds of craziness.
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  Not a good person. They fake religious definitely
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  having on the dating apps definitely put it out there up
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  front to make it seem like they that they are somebody that they
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  are not. So it falls on to you in these
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  situations to just be truthful with who you are and discern.
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  Like use discernment to just say, hey, that's a red flag.
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  You can end the date early if they lie to you, find out that
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  they're that they're lying to you.
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  You can end the day early, you can ask to be excused.
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  You can damn dine a dash if you have to, but come back and pay
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  if you don't dine a dash and walk on the tab or whatever, you
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  know what I mean? I want to say they only did this
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  video to help wake y'all up to some of the to some of the red
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  flags and whatnot that you could be experiencing that could be
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  going on out here in this real world.
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  So anyways, y'all so hope y'all enjoyed the red flags.
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  If y'all think of some other red flags, you can, you know, e-mail
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  it to me or drop it in the comment section.
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  I'll do I'll do another video. I'm here pretty soon.
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  Thank you for tuning in. Make sure you hit that subscribe
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  button if you want to learn more about the narcissist mind and
• 14:51
  certain other things. Whatever I do videos every post,
• 14:54
  3 videos every single day. I also have another channel
• 14:57
  called Lee dot Action so I do reaction videos, text message
• 15:00
  breakdowns, voicemails, I'll do all kinds of stuff on that
• 15:02
  Channel. Y'all me with y'all think I'm
• 15:04
  tuning in? Mental intercept Peace.
• 15:09
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 15:14
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 15:16
  to the channel. Helps reach more people and
• 15:18
  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
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  another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 15:25
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 15:27
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 15:29
  video. Peace.