Latest / Black Girl Interrupted Podcast / Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Transcript
- 0:11Black Girl corrupt. Y'all already know how y'all already know how that girl corrupt.
- 0:41Oh, hey, y'all, Happy Thursday, y'all, welcome back to
- 0:46another episode of Black Girl. Let's about that podcast with your favorite girl from
- 0:50the Bible for baby, y'all know what is check outsh Hey, y'all,
- 0:55we finally made it. Will one day away from the weekend and able let
- 1:00me tell you something, four o'clock, four o'clock me already tomorrow. I'm
- 1:03already ready for tomorrow. But yes, I know I just saw y'all last
- 1:07night. But hey, we're back again with a new episode tonight. So
- 1:12let me tell y'all, I got some beautiful things coming up. I just
- 1:18want to say thank y'all so much last night for the support. Thank y'all
- 1:21for not laughing at me. Yes, I got a little emotional last night
- 1:25speaking about autism. You know, I don't know what it is. I
- 1:30just love them babies, and I just I hate when they ostracize babies and
- 1:34make babies feel like they're outsiders because they say they're not normal. But I
- 1:41just want to say thank y'all so much for just loving on me last night
- 1:44and just pour it into me and just continuing to support me. So Happy
- 1:49Thursday, y'all, welcome back tonight. It's not gonna be a very long
- 1:56episode, maybe about forty five minutes. We're just gonna I'm just an introduction
- 2:00for the topics that we're going to be discussing for the month of April.
- 2:05So trigger warning for a lot of people. A lot of y'all do know
- 2:09that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Hence that's why I have on my
- 2:15til in support of sexual assault and sexual violence awareness. So we will be
- 2:22really digging into a lot of sensitive conversations this month. So if you are
- 2:29triggered, that is never my intent to trigger anybody or you know, to
- 2:35set a person back, but these are much needed conversations that we have to
- 2:38have. We'll be talking about incests. I will be discussing the Nickelodeon documentary.
- 2:47I will go into some of the discussion of how pop culture does I
- 2:55really don't want to say they push sexual assault in the but they do.
- 3:01So we'll be going into that tonight. Like I said, it's just the
- 3:04introduction to Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Hey sus Hey, my baby, Hey,
- 3:12Happy Thursday. So happy to see you tonight. So those are the
- 3:17things that we'll be discussing for the month of April. Your guys already know
- 3:22what I do. Y'all know I do my mental health check ins before we
- 3:25start any episode because I need to make sure that everyone is good. A
- 3:32lot of people are smiling on the inside, but are really truly crying out
- 3:37for help on the inside, and they just don't know where to turn,
- 3:40what to do, who to talk to, who can even trust because it's
- 3:46hard to tell people what you have going on. Because I know people have
- 3:50things going on in their life. But it only takes fifteen twenty thirty seconds
- 3:55just shoot the text of somebody say hey, I love you, I'm thinking
- 3:58about you. Hope you're having a day. You'll never know what that could
- 4:01do to change a person's life, a person's day. But I also want
- 4:08to say this, please never let a bad moment define your day. If
- 4:11you have a bad moment, take a step back, relax, relate,
- 4:14release, and then come back again. You know, I don't want you
- 4:16to overwhelm yourself. I don't want you to bombard yourself. I really want
- 4:20you to take care of yourself because I would rather you reach out than for
- 4:25me to see your obituary or to hear that something bad has happened to you.
- 4:29So this is why I do these mental health check ins at the beginning
- 4:31of every episode. So before we get started, here we go. Here's
- 4:35something a beautiful, powerful, encouraging, uplifting that I want to leave with
- 4:43you today. Here we go, and then we're gonna jump into tonight's conversation.
- 4:57Sometimes things happen to good people. Life isn't fair, and it can
- 5:06be heart wrenching. And if you're having one of those dark days, it's
- 5:15okay. It's okay. It's okay to feel that darkness when challenges and issues
- 5:27come back to back to back to back, and it seems like something is
- 5:32after me, something is attacking me, something is attacking my journey. Look
- 5:39for the lesson in it all. You will grow through what you go through.
- 5:45The question is are you willing to go through it? When those bad
- 5:51things happen? What are you going to do? Are you gonna let this
- 6:00horrible situation dictate the way you feel and the way you handle it. Are
- 6:10you gonna fall over and fall down, fall apart? Or are you going
- 6:19to face this issue with courage and with resolution. You know darkness, so
- 6:33embrace Embrace that darkness, don't look away from it, own it. Step
- 6:43up to the challenge no matter what you face. Start walking. Take that
- 6:53step every day, no matter what you are facing, get up and start
- 7:01walking, and never surrender. And remember that even in the most wretched times,
- 7:12when you face darkness yourself, no matter how bad things get, remember
- 7:19not to stop, Remember not to pause, remember not to hesitate, Remember
- 7:26to put one foot in front of the other. Take that first step and
- 7:33start walking. And we will fight. And in fighting we will win.
- 7:44And if not the battle, and if not the war, we will win
- 7:48because our spirit, it will never surrender. And that is the ultimate victory.
- 7:59To hold your head high and even in the face of inescapable defeat,
- 8:07to stand and to fight, that is to win. Don't allow yourself a
- 8:24switch off button. I know there's always an answer, no matter how dark
- 8:31that place. Maybe it's always a way out. Just gotta keep going,
- 8:37hold on to that fundamental quality of faith. Have faith, and on the
- 8:43other side of your pain is something good. Huh. I just you know
- 9:01what, Let me tell y'all. I always when I select these videos,
- 9:07I always just try to make sure that I select some of the most empowering,
- 9:13uplifting and encouraging videos because, like I said, I get in those
- 9:20dark spaces sometimes. You know, some days I have bad moments. You
- 9:24know, not every you know, not every day, but there are some
- 9:26days where I'm just like, you know what, I just need to unplug
- 9:31from the world. I just need to decompress, let me, let me
- 9:33find something that is encouraging and inspiring. So I always think of where I'm
- 9:37met in a particular moment when I select these videos, and I just love
- 9:43them. I really truly do. They're so encouraging, they're so inspiring and
- 9:46motivating. So I say all of that to say, please take care of
- 9:52yourself. Please take care of your mental health. It's okay to disconnect from
- 9:56people. It's okay to just walk away and take care of you. You
- 10:01don't owe anybody in explanation why you're not speaking to them. You know,
- 10:05if you need a break, take a break, if you need to unplug
- 10:07from everybody, unplugged from everybody. You don't owe anybody in explanation. And
- 10:13then when you feel good enough, then you'll come back. And then if
- 10:16you want to talk about it, then you talk about it, but don't
- 10:18allow anyone to force you to talk about what you have going on if you're
- 10:22not ready. Take care of yourself first. Don't worry about anybody else.
- 10:28Put you first. Be selfish with yourself. Learn the boundaries. Baby,
- 10:33let me tell you something. No, it's forever gonna be etched into my
- 10:35vocabulary. If I don't talk, I don't owe you an explanation. I'm
- 10:39gonna talk to you when I feel like I'm ready to talk. Let me
- 10:43come through whatever it is I'm going through, and then I'll come back.
- 10:48And people don't understand that, and people need to respect that. So know
- 10:50those boundaries, Know your boundaries. Put those boundaries up. Take a break
- 10:56from people. It's okay, shore, because baby, I'm gonna forever take
- 11:01a break. I'm gonna forever protect my peace, and I advise that you
- 11:05do the same. Protect your peace because piece is everything. Because baby,
- 11:09all this chaos in the world, the last thing we need is somebody disrupting
- 11:13the peace because it's so hard to achieve, especially when you've tried to climb
- 11:18and fight your way out of the dog and you couldn't get over that hill.
- 11:20And when you finally are able to sh then I'm letting it. I'm
- 11:26not letting nobody or nothing distirn my peace. And I mean that. So
- 11:31I love you guys. I hope whatever it is that you're going through,
- 11:35I hope that you grow through it. I hope that cloud that's hanging over
- 11:37your head, I hope it does soon come to pass. Just please know
- 11:41that rain doesn't last always. So we'll end with that one. So,
- 11:46yes, I'm still doing my mental health check ins. I love y'all.
- 11:48I hope everyone's doing great tonight. Like I said, today's Thursday. We
- 11:52are one day away from the weekend. Oh and I wish I could rest
- 11:58and relax, but I gotta get rid because I think daddy'll be here in
- 12:01two weeks. So yes, my honey is moving. He'll stand and I
- 12:05gave it. I'm so excited anyways, but we'll go. We'll have a
- 12:09whole conversation about that when we get into our little lovey w stuff. But
- 12:15moving into to nice conversation again. April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. Let
- 12:26me take a deep breath as is we kick off this conversation. Y'all know
- 12:31i'm a big old cry baby, but I'm very passionate about the things that
- 12:35I talk about Sexual Assault Awareness Month? Where do I even begin sexual assault?
- 12:56Let me just play the video. I just I just have to take
- 12:58a moment, so just really kind of take all of this in because this
- 13:03is definitely a lot, and then we're going to get into the conversation.
- 13:05So here we go. Well, April mark sexual Assault Awareness Month. But
- 13:11according to the Rape Abuse and Incests National Network, every sixty eight seconds an
- 13:16American is sexually assaulted. Joining us now to discuss the impacts of sexual violence,
- 13:20Katie Cosner, the executive director of Take Back the Night. Katie,
- 13:24welcome, thanks for being with us, Thank you for having me. What
- 13:28are some common misconceptions about this type of violence do you think, Well,
- 13:33we know that most of it happens by someone you know and trust, and
- 13:39there's still the idea that it's a stranger who's going to grab you off the
- 13:41street instead of someone you've been out on a date with. So that's probably
- 13:46the biggest problem, and that the other would be that men aren't sexually sexually
- 13:52assaulted. And really we know that about one in six men go through sexual
- 13:56abuse assault in their lifetime too seeing it because we've heard about it. It's
- 14:01been in headlines for years. Women who are assaulted sometimes fear coming forward to
- 14:07accuse their accuser for fear of even more repercussion or just more pushback, which
- 14:13makes what was a horrible situation even worse. Yeah, the victim blaming still
- 14:18goes on, and it's saying that you could have done something to prevent this,
- 14:24or there's blame by relatives and friends, and then there's a justice system
- 14:28that still doesn't hold most rapists accountable because the difficulty of getting a conviction for
- 14:35such an awful crime. But why do you think that? Is it just
- 14:37it's another one of those things that I think boggles the mind of people.
- 14:39Why is this so tough to get a conviction? Because? Is it because
- 14:43it comes down to a lot of times he said, She said, I
- 14:48agree, it's definitely, he said. She said, there's no witnesses and
- 14:52a lot of times there the suspect is someone that we couldn't possibly believe would
- 14:56ever do something like this. You started to take that the Night Foundation back
- 15:01in two thousand and one. Tell us a little bit more about the inspiration
- 15:03behind it and the huge impact that it has had over the last twenty plus
- 15:07years. Yeah, absolutely, So Take Back the Night was a movement,
- 15:11the oldest global movement and sexual violence in the world. And I simply corralled
- 15:18all of the event holders and organizations holding those events at college campuses and in
- 15:22communities, especially in the US and Canada, but even in forty different countries.
- 15:28So what we do at Take Back the Night is we hold an awareness
- 15:33event. It could be at march and rally, a protest, it could
- 15:35be as a candlelight vigil in honor of victims or speak out. But we
- 15:41usually do this once a year throughout the country and those events bring together anywhere
- 15:46from fifty to five thousand attendees to participate protests and share stories. Got to
- 15:54be amazing for a community like this to be able to get together with other
- 15:56people who are experiencing similar traumas, to be able to talk things out over
- 16:02an expanded period of time like this through the events that you've had, How
- 16:04can people get involved? What events you know are people? What events are
- 16:08you having here in and around the city. Well, and I'll be up
- 16:11there in Poughkeepsie north of you, in Marx College, but those Manhattan Mount
- 16:18Saint Mary's Pace we've had events at Columbia NYU. So all you have to
- 16:23do is go to the Take Back the Night website and check out where our
- 16:26events are being held. And you can always go to our global virtual event
- 16:30that's free and open to the entire planet. On the last Thursday of April
- 16:36every year, we have a global virtual event for everyone who's too far from
- 16:40their local event. And Katie, before I let you go, as we
- 16:44use this month to raise awareness, what are some ways people can be supportive
- 16:47of those who've been a victim of sexual assault? Perfect? Yes, So
- 16:51I think first of all, believe them, say that you want to support
- 16:55them, ask them what you can do. We at Take Back Night also
- 16:59started the NASH Sexual Assault Legal Hotline, so it's five sixty seven shatter if
- 17:03they want to know what their legal options are. Rain that you mentioned at
- 17:07the beginning has the counseling hotline, So recommend reporting, recommend counseling, and
- 17:12recommend just taking time for themselves and believing in their courage to heal. It's
- 17:17a serious crime and the accusation should be taken seriously. I think that's first
- 17:21and foremost. Katie, thank you so much. We appreciated the executive director
- 17:23of Take Back the Night. Good to see you and again, thank you,
- 17:27thank you. All right, So, sexual assault awareness, who does
- 17:36it really impact? So? Who does sexual assault impact? Sexual violence?
- 17:41I'm so sorry. So, As they stated, nearly one in five women
- 17:45in the United States have experienced rate or attempted rate sometime in their lives.
- 17:51Let me put the trigger warning out there. This is the most difficult conversation,
- 18:00but y'all know your girl can push through. Also, in the United
- 18:07States, one in seventy one men have experienced rape or attempted rate. There
- 18:15was an estimated thirty two point three percent of multiracial women, twenty seven point
- 18:22five percent of American Indian Alaska Native women, twenty one point two percent of
- 18:27non Hispanic Black women, twenty point five percent of non Hispanic White women,
- 18:34and thirteen point six percent of Hispanic women were raped. And the saddest part
- 18:42of all of this is that the victims often knowe the person who sexually assaulted
- 18:48them. That's the sad part. It's sad all the way around. Let
- 18:56me say that, let me correct myself on that verbage. It's sad all
- 19:00the way around. Regardless of who does it. No one deserves to be
- 19:07violated. No one deserves that. No one deserves to have their consent pushed
- 19:18out the door. No means no. No, It does not mean yes.
- 19:23That means no. If I say no, then that means no.
- 19:33Nearly three out of four adolescents, seventy four percent who had been sexually assaulted
- 19:42were victimized by someone they knew. Well. Let me repeat that one more
- 19:51time. Nearly three out of four adolescents, twenty four percent who had been
- 20:03sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well. It goes back to as
- 20:15I stated, victims all often know the person who sexually assaulted them. Him
- 20:21to be a brother, a sister or mother, a father or cousin or
- 20:25uncle, a aunt, a best friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend.
- 20:34It happens. Sexual assault by family members is real. Grandparents, aunts,
- 20:47uncles, cousins, second cousins, third cousins. Hell, even the fifth
- 20:52cousin twice removed three times on your dad's side. This percent, this statistic
- 21:04made me sick in the stomach when I say one fifth, twenty one point
- 21:11one percent were committed by a family member. Let me kind of let that
- 21:18breathe a little bit. Let me let that bread just just a moment one
- 21:30fifth. And these were stats I believe from two thousand and eleven twenty one
- 21:40point one percent were committed by a family member. Sexual assault twenty one point
- 21:48one percent. And again this was thirteen years ago. These were the stats
- 21:52thirteen years ago, so I could just almost imagine what the stats are now
- 22:00in twenty twenty four, maybe thirty thirty one percent, now maybe thirty two.
- 22:10And when she said men are victims, also, I spoke to that
- 22:17conversation. Men are violated, but it's overlooked because they feel like it doesn't
- 22:22happen to men. But it does, and they start adolescent age, which
- 22:33goes back to the statistic nearly three out of four adolescents who have been sexually
- 22:37assaulted were victimized by someone they knew, whether it be a coach, whether
- 22:41it be a teacher, whether it be a pastor in the church or a
- 22:45minister, whatever you're called. Men are violated as well. I told y'all
- 22:56one in seventy one men have experienced rape or attempt at rate men. So
- 23:07I want to remove the stigma around it, saying old men can't be violated,
- 23:11Yes they can, because we're singing in the news unfold every day,
- 23:17teachers having sex with twelve and thirteen and fourteen year old boys. I heard
- 23:29someone say, well, he knew what he was doing. No, he
- 23:33didn't at thirteen years old. Your mind is still developing. Your body may
- 23:40have developed, but your mind has not caught up with your body. So
- 23:45these boys are being taken advantage of by men and women. You have young
- 23:52ladies that are being violated eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years
- 23:56old by school teachers, by pastors, relatives, the next door neighbor.
- 24:06But no one wants to have these conversations. Let me say this, Conversations
- 24:12like this are warranted. Y'all should be tired of sweeping conversations like this under
- 24:21the rug. We should be more open to having conversations like this because this
- 24:30could be your child, This could be you that this happens too, your
- 24:34child, a friend, anybody you may know someone who's been violated. Why
- 24:41wouldn't you want to be educated? Why wouldn't you want to have these types
- 24:45of conversations to bring awareness, to spread awareness and prevention. What are the
- 24:53things that we could do in case we're in situations like this? What can
- 24:59we do in case we are violated. But a lot of y'all don't want
- 25:02to have these conversations because, oh someone told me. They say, Ashley,
- 25:06don't you feel like you're digging a little too deep? Absolutely not,
- 25:08because I haven't dug deep enough. I haven't dug deep enough. I haven't
- 25:18pulled enough band aids off for us to have these conversations. It may be
- 25:22uncomfortable to you, but it may be helping and healing somebody else. So
- 25:26as long as I have this platform, we're gonna have these uncomfortable conversations.
- 25:33We're gonna talk about these things that you guys have been afraid to talk about.
- 25:37We're gonna talk about these things that society has told us to sweep under
- 25:41the rug. I no longer want us to keep protecting the abusers. I
- 25:48want us to start protecting and advocating for the victims. Let me kind of
- 25:55let that breathe a little bit, because I really, let me not say.
- 26:02I know I'm digging deeper. I'm supposed to because we protected the abusers
- 26:11long enough. And as this month rolls on it and we keep going into
- 26:19these conversations, I'm gonna go digger deeper. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna
- 26:25keep digging deeper because we protected these abusers for tunn and then people want to
- 26:36make it a rasting white, black, purple, yellow, green with polka
- 26:41dots, yellow stars floating around your head. I don't care, but we're
- 26:47no longer gonna be protecting the abusers. We're now gonna be advocating and speaking
- 26:52now for the victims. Black Girl Interrupted will always be a safety space for
- 27:00whomever. Sexual Assault Awareness Month, y'all, ladies and gentlemen, April.
- 27:18I know a lot of people that have been violated, one very close to
- 27:25me who wasn't believed, and finally she spoke out, and it's the person,
- 27:52the very person that violated was the very person that shared the same household
- 27:56with her. Again, I go back to the statement, victims often know
- 28:04the person who sexually assaulted them, And like I said, it could be
- 28:10your brother, your sister, your cousin, your uncle, your aunt,
- 28:12your mom, your dad, your grandmother, your grandfather, your very own
- 28:18best friend. So again, why are we not speaking more about this?
- 28:25Why? Why are we not having these conversations as we should? Why are
- 28:30we not sitting down and having these conversations with our children to make our children
- 28:36aware of certain things and situations and what to do if you're ever caught in
- 28:42a situation like that. That's the sad part to me is that y'all want
- 28:47to avoid these conversations at all costs. But tonight we're not avoiding that.
- 28:52I'm opening the door. I'm waking it up about such as salt awareness.
- 29:04Let me breathe a little bit. I feel myself getting a little overwhelmed.
- 29:08Let me let me just kind of take a five second breathe. Let me
- 29:11let me let me breathe in and breathe out. Because again, one fifth
- 29:23committed by family members. And then you'll go back to the adolescens. Three
- 29:30out of four that have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well.
- 29:37And we see the teachers, coaches, your ministers in the church,
- 29:45moms, dads, brothers, sisters violate. And the thing about it,
- 29:56it's often not reported and there's never a conviction, almost never a conviction.
- 30:02Let me see that rape is often not reported or convicted. And you want
- 30:15to know why people don't talk a fear of not being believed. This is
- 30:23why, this is why people You know, these are why men and women.
- 30:29Let me take this off for just a moment. The reason people don't
- 30:33report these sexual assaults is the fear of not being believed, afraid of retaliation.
- 30:45Because we've heard the stories where when uncles and aunts and moms and dads
- 30:49and grandparents violate children, they say, oh, you better not tell.
- 30:52If you tell, I'm gonna kill your mom, or I'm gonna kill your
- 30:56dad, or I'm gonna hurt your family. This is what they say.
- 31:00So they put instill the fear and the victim not to say anything, so
- 31:04the victims don't say anything. They make the victim feel shame or fear of
- 31:15being blamed, because I've seen and I've heard the conversations where they say,
- 31:18oh, she shouldn't wear that dress, or she shouldn't wear the shirt,
- 31:26or he wanted it, or he liked it. I've seen those types of
- 31:30conversations. I even jumped on a conversation the other day. They were talking
- 31:36about puff Daddy and they said, oh, I saw one person coming in,
- 31:41said oh, that was a willing participant. How when are we gonna
- 31:47stop victim shamed? When are we gonna stop victim blaming? Let me say
- 31:49that, when are we gonna stop victim blaming. Another reason that people don't
- 32:00report this is the pressure from others, or the distrust towards law enforcement,
- 32:08or they want to protect the attacker for other reasons. This is why victims
- 32:15don't say anything. This is why, this is why people don't report,
- 32:25because they've been told if you tell, I'm gonna do something to you or
- 32:29I'm gonna do something to your loved one, victims don't say anything because they
- 32:35don't want to be blamed. Victims feel ashamed, they feel like they did
- 32:40something, and this is why victims don't talk. This is why they don't
- 32:45say anything, and we need to remove that stigma. We need to create
- 32:50safe spaces for the victims to have a place to talk about it without fear,
- 32:57without being ridiculed and laughed at and blamed and saying, oh, you
- 33:01did this, well, what were you wearing? What did you do to
- 33:06provoke this person? These are everyday conversations that need to be had, especially
- 33:15with our children. I look at a lot of these stories and cases that
- 33:27I've read about excuse me when it comes to sexual assault and the things that
- 33:36the victims have said that they were told by their abusers. It just broke
- 33:39my heart. One young man that I spoke with said he was violated by
- 33:50his mother's best friend, a woman, and she told him, she said,
- 33:58if you just laid back and relax, your enjoy it, I'm preparing
- 34:01you for what it's going to be like when you are really truly intimate with
- 34:06a woman. This is what this young man told me. His mother's best
- 34:09friend told him that she was preparing him. Who says that? Who does
- 34:22that? These stories? Let me take a deep brother, these stories,
- 34:45these cases even people that I know, when I sit and I listen to
- 34:52them talk and tell what happened and why they wait it so long to tell
- 35:00somebody? It's heartbreaking. A dear friend of mine that was violated by her
- 35:10mother's husband from the age of seven to the age of fourteen. He told
- 35:20her, he said, the older you get, the more you'll enjoy it.
- 35:24And when she told her mother, her mother told her she was lying.
- 35:37Why why do we Why do people continue to protect their abusers? Why
- 35:57again, why are there not enough safe spaces for victims? I don't understand.
- 36:09Do you know what that does to a person mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
- 36:22They carry that the person that has been violated, they carry that and
- 36:29we see the outcome of that. Sometimes the victim becomes the abuser. We
- 36:37see this all the time. You look at R. Kelly, violated by
- 36:45his own sister, then he became an abuser. I look at the case
- 36:55of Maddeline Soto, who's mother for two years that her boyfriend was violating her
- 37:05daughter and stood by and said nothing Again. When are we gonna stop protecting
- 37:16the abusers and start advocating for the victims. I'm trying not to get choked
- 37:23up, y'all. Just bear with me when we have to pull these rugs
- 37:39back and we have to start sweeping from up underneath them. We have to
- 37:43sweep the dirt from up underneath these rugs because we have to start advocating for
- 37:50the victims now. We have to stop calling people liars when they said they've
- 37:58been violated. We have to stop victim blaming. We have to stop making
- 38:08the victim feel like it's their fault and create bigger and better spaces for them
- 38:17to be able to speak freely without fear. But it's difficult, and that's
- 38:30what we're gonna do here on Black Girl. Interrupt that podcast for the whole
- 38:32month of April and even thereafter. I'm advocating for the victims. I'm not
- 38:38protecting abusers, and I don't give a damn excuse my language. What color
- 38:44you are, white, black, yellow, green, I don't care.
- 38:53We have to stop protecting these abusers. We have to stop victim blaming.
- 39:00We have to start being the voice for the voiceless. We have to spread
- 39:07awareness. We have to continue to provide resources when the victims don't have anywhere
- 39:14to turn to. We have to do our part for the victims. We
- 39:27have to do our part because if they're too afraid to speak, then who
- 39:31else will speak for them? Who else will help them get the help that
- 39:38they so desperately need and deserve to remove the weight off their shoulders. We
- 39:45have to do that. We have to make them safe and let them know
- 39:50I got you, You're protected. What can we do more to support an
- 40:04advocate? Here are some things that we can do. Here we go,
- 40:14well, welcome back. It's time for another segment in which we hear at
- 40:17Kara k We're partnering with Women and Children's First, trying to do our part
- 40:21and trying to stop domestic violence right here in the natural state in April a
- 40:25Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and it calls attention to the fact that sexual violence
- 40:30is widespread and impacts every person in the community. And it aims to raise
- 40:34public awareness about sexual violence and educate communities on how to prevent it. So,
- 40:38now, if you go to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center's website,
- 40:42you can see it right here, you'll see the theme of the month that
- 40:45is building Connected Communities. Now, it's campaign that helps reduce the likelihood of
- 40:50sexual abuse, assault in harassment in our communities. Its goal is to strive
- 40:54to create strong, connected communities that take care of one another. Communities like
- 40:59that make decisions to ensure the safety and well being of members. Well,
- 41:02they are critical in ending sexual violence worldwide. Now that being said, we
- 41:09know the theme of the month, let's go ahead and take a look at
- 41:10the calendar and things they have going on. Now, out of the eleven
- 41:14events you see right here on your screen this month, I want to highlight
- 41:16a few, but the first being till Tuesdays. I hate that because I
- 41:22should have worn my till tied today. We'll get it figured out next week.
- 41:23They're wearing till to encourage people to show support and bring more awareness to
- 41:29this issue. Now, they're gonna have days to decorate T shirts and pants,
- 41:32and they're gonna have messages of encouragement and that will aim to inspire others
- 41:37to speak up and speak out. Now, as a lot of you may
- 41:40know, domestic violence has impacted my life and this is why I wanted to
- 41:45start this partnership between KRIK and the Women's Shelter right here in Central Arkansas and
- 41:49now being a proud board member at Women and Children's First, I want everyone
- 41:52watching who may want to be a part of this journey of ending domestic violence
- 41:58to know exactly how to do that. And the best way to start is
- 42:01just to go to our website at WCF dot org and sign up with our
- 42:06volunteer group. They're called the Peacekeepers. I'm telling you they are doing an
- 42:08amazing work and it is life changing. Please go by and check them out,
- 42:20y'all. I have to I have to take up. I have to,
- 42:23like when I have these types of conversations, y'all just don't understand,
- 42:27like I have to take a break in between this m because I think about
- 42:39all these stories that we see come across our social media about men, women
- 42:50and children being violated. So I just know now again we have to be
- 43:02the voice for the victims. We have to stop victim shaming, stop victim
- 43:07blaming, stop making the victim feel like it's their fault. I don't care
- 43:14if you wear shorts all the way up to your neck. That doesn't give
- 43:20a person a right to violate you. You could be fully dressed, and
- 43:27if a sick, twisted, deranged person wants to violate you, they're gonna
- 43:30do it, and it's disgusting. I want victims to no longer be in
- 43:42fear. I want victims to no longer be afraid. I want victims to
- 43:52have safe spaces to speak. I want victims to know that it's okay to
- 43:59no longer protect your abuser. I also would love to see more convictions when
- 44:06it comes to sexual assault. Next week, we're gonna get into the Nickelodeon
- 44:15documentary The Quiet on the Set. For those that have not watched, I
- 44:22advise that you watch at your own risk, simply because these sexual abusers are
- 44:31getting a slap on the wrist. Drug dealers are getting more time than people
- 44:39that have repeatedly violated children and adults. And when I say repeatedly, I
- 44:52mean repeat offenders. We see this all the time. They're not believed.
- 45:02They're told, oh, if you tell somebody, oh you better not tell
- 45:05anybody, I'm gonna hurt your family. Then it's the shame, the guilt
- 45:15because the victim feels like they did something wrong. No, you didn't.
- 45:20That person that violated you a sick, twisted, deranged, demented excuse my
- 45:27language, fucked up in the head. They have a sickness. Do I
- 45:36believe they could be rehabilitated. Absolutely not. I saw a conversation and what
- 45:44made me make that statements because I was in a conversation where we were discussing
- 45:52the nickelodeon the quiet on the set, and a person commented and said,
- 45:58oh, I believe people like that could be rehabilitated. Know they don't.
- 46:05A leopard never changes its spots. I don't believe pedophiles can be rehabilitated.
- 46:14I can't see what I want to see, y'all. I'm really trying to
- 46:17keep it because I don't want to I don't want to get booted off.
- 46:22I don't want my live to be canceled. But put them all on the
- 46:27island and and let me just with let me just with refrain from what I
- 46:36was about to see. If y'all want to know what I was about to
- 46:39say, y'all call me, message me, text me, whatever, and
- 46:43I can tell you what I was about to see. Because what I what
- 46:45I really truly want to see. I don't want to get put off.
- 46:49Put them on an island, and I'm just gonna leave it at that.
- 46:51Put them on an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean where they cannot
- 46:55hurt anybody on the Just put them on an island in the middle of nowhere
- 47:06where they can't be close to children. Adult like, just just let them
- 47:10be, because no, they can't be rehabilitated. And that's just my own
- 47:16personal opinion. No, I do not feel like pedophiles, sexual predators,
- 47:22whatever you want to call them. I do not feel like they could be
- 47:24rehabilitated. I don't believe that they can. If it was left to me,
- 47:31I feel like they should let the public handle But it's not up to
- 47:36me. Because I could give you a laundry list of things that I would
- 47:38love to do to predators. I oh, my goodness, y'all, if
- 47:45y'all would have to call me because I cannot say what I want to see
- 47:51because I again, I don't want them to kick me off. But if
- 47:53I could just yeah what everybody that knows me, y'all call me and I
- 48:00can tell you a lot of y'all know what I would do. But I
- 48:05just put them on an island, take them far away, take them far
- 48:08away, and never let them come back. We need higher conviction rates for
- 48:15them. They need to stop getting slaps on the wrist. These laws need
- 48:20to be changed, because again, we need to start protecting our victims.
- 48:22We need to start advocating for the victims. We need to stop letting these
- 48:25abuses get away, away, away, away away for them to get out
- 48:30and violate someone else, and then they repeatedly do it. So we have
- 48:37to advocate more. We have to stick together. We need to create safer
- 48:40spaces with boundaries for victims to come and talk. I need law enforcement as
- 48:47well as as lawmakers. I need Congress, Senate, Hell, I need
- 48:51sleep at Joe, and I need Kamala Harris picking it. I if y'all
- 48:55could pass a law that no longer protects women's rights, that's a whole other
- 49:04conversation that I have at a later date. If y'all can pass laws like
- 49:07that, why is there not a law that protects victims of sexual assault?
- 49:15Why are there not stiffer sentences for repeat violators, for repeat offenders? Let
- 49:21me say that. Why? This is what I mean when I see we
- 49:29have to come together for things that matter. This is a subject that matters,
- 49:32sexual assault. We need to come together. It's happening. I told
- 49:39you know again. These were the statistics from Excuse Me twenty and eleven.
- 49:45It says nearly one in five women in the United States have experienced rape or
- 49:52attempted rape sometime in their lives. One in five. If I'm not mistaken,
- 49:58I believe it's now one in four or one in six. What are
- 50:04we gonna do more to protect the victims? Because, excuse me, we
- 50:09see the the the predators get a slap on the wrist, Some of them
- 50:15get five years probation, some of them may get one hundred and eighty days
- 50:20and in jail and five years probation, and they still manage to find a
- 50:29way to go out and violate somebody else. Law Makers, y'all have to
- 50:37do better protecting these victims. Because it seems to me that y'all are more
- 50:43on the predator's side than you are the victim because some of the the and
- 50:49I'll out on the next sho the next episode, I out have the statistics,
- 50:54but the conviction rates are low. But you have somebody that may get
- 51:01caught with a pound of weed and they getting ten years in prison. But
- 51:07you got a person that repeatedly has violated a person and they get eighteen months,
- 51:13sixteen months, two years on probation. They go to jail five years
- 51:20and don't even serve five years. They're home in two Put them on an
- 51:25island and put them far away from us. Let me just say that into
- 51:34the victims. I got your back here. A black girl interrupted. Baby,
- 51:40I'm gonna advocate for you. I'm gonna speak for you. It's a
- 51:45safe space right here. I don't condone, nor do I co sign pedophilic
- 51:52behavior. I don't agree or co sign when it comes to sexual assault.
- 52:01Because again, you have in the United States one in seventy one men that
- 52:08have experienced rape or attempted rape. You have nearly one in five women in
- 52:14the United States that have experienced rape or attempted rape sometime in their lives.
- 52:21And then the victims often know the person who sexually assaulted them. A family
- 52:28member, a person in the church, a football coach, a baseball coach,
- 52:35a coach period, a band teacher, a choir director, a regular
- 52:42teacher. Again, nearly three out of four adolescents who have been sexually assaulted
- 52:53were victimized by someone they knew very well. Again, you look at Madeline
- 53:00Solo, the mother's boyfriend, and the mother knew so to the mothers.
- 53:07Let me say this as I go into my final thoughts to you people that
- 53:15are protecting these abusers, particularly the mothers. I know there's a hot place
- 53:22that's waiting on you on your judgment day. For us not to be protecting
- 53:31these victims, that's a problem to me. For us not advocating more for
- 53:39the victims, that's a problem to me. Another problem to me is for
- 53:45people to keep saying, oh, well we turned out. No, I
- 53:52don't care if you're black, white, yellow, green, I don't care
- 53:57if you shoots out your butt. I'm not protecting abusers. I'm advocating for
- 54:06the victims. I'm protecting the victims. I'm creating safe spaces for the victims
- 54:15where they are able to come in here and they're able to speak with no
- 54:17judgment and no fear of retaliation. I need law enforcement to do better for
- 54:23the victims. I need these lawmakers. I need laws. That's what we
- 54:29need for these victims. Again, y'all, welcome to another episode of Black
- 54:37Girl Interrupted. Thank y'all for tuning in with me tonight. Thank y'all for
- 54:42loving on me and supporting me Again. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
- 54:49It's gonna get deep. I'm going down the rabbit hole. Yeah, I'm
- 54:57talking about incest. Yes, I'm talking about how pop culture plays Uh has
- 55:04a has a role in promoting sexual violence? Oh? Yeah, that's what
- 55:10we're doing over here on Black Girl Interrupted. Is it gonna get deep?
- 55:16Absolutely. I'm gonna put post the trigger warnings because it's time for this conversation
- 55:28to have the rug pulled back and to be addressed. I no longer want
- 55:36people to be in fear. I no longer want people to be afraid.
- 55:45I want to see more convictions for sexual predators. I want justice for these
- 55:54victims, want to raise awareness for sexual assault. I want us to do
- 56:05our part. I want to provide resources. I need us to have these
- 56:10conversations with our children with our loved ones. To the victims, I understand,
- 56:17it's scary, you're ashamed, you're afraid. I understand, But know
- 56:29that you got somebody over here that's on your side. You got someone over
- 56:31here that is gonna advocate for you. You have someone over here that's gonna
- 56:36pour into you. You have someone over here that's gonna empower you and encourage
- 56:39you and to let you know it was not your fault. That's what we're
- 56:45doing over here on Black Girl Interrupted Podcast. So to close out these are
- 56:57my thoughts, let me take a deep breath. I want victims to know
- 57:16it's never your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, regardless if you wear
- 57:28clothes up to your neck or shorts up to you down to your feet.
- 57:32It's never your fault. It's the abuser's fault. It's the abuser that didn't
- 57:42take the time to get the help that they needed because a lot of times
- 57:49the abuser was once the victim, and they want to push that herd off
- 57:59on somebody else. To your mothers, start listening to your children. If
- 58:15your child comes to you and says this happened, I need y'all to take
- 58:22it seriously. I need your mothers and fathers to be mindful of who you
- 58:29leave your children around. Victim is never your fault. You didn't do anything
- 58:40wrong. You don't have to be afraid. I want us to stop the
- 58:52victim blaming when it comes to sexual assault. Blame in the victim law enforcement.
- 59:04I need more trust. We need more trust from you, guys,
- 59:08because sexual assault victims don't trust law enforcement because they see what happens. And
- 59:20the last thing to the victims take your power back. I pray you're able
- 59:30to get your power back from the person that violated you. I pray that
- 59:39you are able to heal. I pray that you are able to move on
- 59:52and have a beautiful life. To the abusals, I pray you'll never see
- 1:00:05another light of day. I pray that you are locked up and you are
- 1:00:16sentenced to the highest extent of the law. I pray that for you.
- 1:00:23I pray that on your judgment day at hot place opens up for you.
- 1:00:28Your abusals are sick, you're deranged, you're twisted, and you need help.
- 1:00:44The victim is never your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. There
- 1:00:50are spaces and their resources that need to be made more available to victims because
- 1:00:59there are lot of victims out here that don't know where to turn. They
- 1:01:05don't feel safe. I need more saved spaces for the victims so they're able
- 1:01:13to come and speak freely again without fear and rejection and blame. If you're
- 1:01:24a mother and you're protecting the abuser, I hope they lock you up too
- 1:01:31for being complicit, for not protecting your child or your children from the monster
- 1:01:42that lives in their home. To the men that have been violated, I
- 1:01:50love you. I pray more safe spaces open up, because men are victims
- 1:01:59too. It's not a woman thing, it's not a white thing, it's
- 1:02:05not a black thing, it's a everybody thing. Victims come in all colors
- 1:02:10and genders. Let's protect the victims and expose these abusers. And I'm a
- 1:02:22end the episode with that, huh. I will post at the bottom of
- 1:02:37the screen. I do have the nation National Sexual Assault hot Line down at
- 1:02:40the bottom of the screen for those that are listening in. The phone number
- 1:02:45is one eight hundred six five six four six seven three. That is the
- 1:02:52National Sexual Assault Hotline. It is twenty four hours. Let me post it
- 1:03:02right here. Here we go, and there's the number for any call for
- 1:03:07someone who can help. And again there's the National Sexual so Hotline phone number
- 1:03:12down at the bottom of the screen one eight hundred sixty five six four six
- 1:03:16seven three and they are open twenty four hours a day, seven days a
- 1:03:21week. If you don't feel like you can trust anybody, call that hotline.
- 1:03:27You can't always remain anonymous. I pray that peace comes into your heart
- 1:03:38the victims, and that you are able to release and pull your power back
- 1:03:46from the person that hurts you. I love you, I pray for you.
- 1:03:57I walk with you, I hold your hand as you go through the
- 1:04:01murket waters and back into the light. I know it's easier said than done,
- 1:04:10but take your time and know that there are resources out here for you.
- 1:04:15There is help out here for you. There is all right. So,
- 1:04:25the upcoming episodes for Black Girl interrupted as I stated, April or Sexual
- 1:04:30Assault Awareness Month. Everything everything this month will relate in with I'm so sorry,
- 1:04:36y'all, will be in regards to Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We will
- 1:04:42be talking about incests. I will be discussing this will be a two part
- 1:04:45episode. I will be talking about the Nickelodeon documentary Required on the set.
- 1:04:53I will be addressing, excuse me, how pop culture promotes sexual violence movies,
- 1:05:01TVs H. It's gonna get deep, and I'm not afraid, definitely
- 1:05:16not afraid. And again, this is a much needed conversation. This is
- 1:05:19a much warranted conversation that we need to have. I do want to say
- 1:05:27thank y'all for tuning in tonight. Again. I said it wasn't gonna be
- 1:05:30a very long episode. Again, the website is up again. It is
- 1:05:36www. Dot BGI podcast dot org. Don't forget to go and subscribe so
- 1:05:43you can start receiving your newsletters every month. That will give you in greater
- 1:05:47detail the conversations that we'll be having each and every month. It will also
- 1:05:51list the episode guide. You could also go on the website and RSVP to
- 1:05:56be reminded of when the episodes are coming out. So again, the website
- 1:06:00is down at the bottom. Www. Dot BGI podcast dot org. Excuse
- 1:06:05me at this moment, I am not taking guests, but I will be.
- 1:06:14I'm looking to June to start doing taking guests and things of that nature.
- 1:06:21So if you do want to be a guest, you can always send
- 1:06:24an email. The email is down at the bottom of the screen. Black
- 1:06:28Girl Interrupted Podcast at gmail dot com and it is all lower case. I'm
- 1:06:31so sorry I always forget to say that, but yes, Black Girl Interrupt
- 1:06:35their podcast at gmail dot com all lower case. If you would like to
- 1:06:41be a guest, if there's a show topic or an idea that you have
- 1:06:44that you would love for me to talk about, please shoot me an email.
- 1:06:47Please allow me twenty four to forty eight hours to respond and we could
- 1:06:53set up a meeting and we could sit down and discuss the conversations at hand
- 1:06:57and figure out what day and time works beautifully for you. So I definitely
- 1:07:01look forward to more collaborations this year and again the merch we're looking to launch
- 1:07:09this summer, so be on the lookout for that. Again. Don't forget
- 1:07:12to subscribe to the on the website www dot BGI podcast dot org and it'll
- 1:07:18keep you updated with all the episodes. So another episode for the books today.
- 1:07:26Again, my name is Ashley. I do want to say thank y'all
- 1:07:28so much for tuning in tonight to another episode of Black Girl Interrupted Podcast.
- 1:07:32Again, Happy Thursday. I hope everyone continues they have a beautiful evening.
- 1:07:36I hope everyone has a great weekend. And again I will see y'all next
- 1:07:41Tuesday. Don't forget. We stream live so Facebook and YouTube every Tuesday,
- 1:07:45every Thursday eight thirty pm Central Time, nine thirty Eastern Time. And again
- 1:07:49for those excuse me that don't like the visual, but just won't they hearing
- 1:07:56Black Girl Interrupted. The podcast is available on all streaming platforms and you could
- 1:08:00catch tonight's episode as well as past episodes to get your caught up with what
- 1:08:03we have going on the rest of the year. So on that note,
- 1:08:08I love you guys. Happy Thursday. I hope you have a beautiful evening
- 1:08:11and again, have a beautiful weekend. Please continue to stay safe and I'll
- 1:08:15see y'all same time, same place on Tuesday. Love y'all. Iye