Latest / A Time to Sharpen / The Power of Music

Transcript

The Power of Music · A Time to Sharpen

0:09
Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
0:11
Well, yeah, lots of things, I guess.
0:14
Poverty. War.
0:16
Being woken up at 4:30 in the morning by the trash truck only
0:20
to realize you forgot to get the trash out to the curb again.
0:25
Seriously though, a dull blade is bad.
0:28
It's unusable. In fact, it's downright
0:30
dangerous. Knives need sharpening.
0:34
From Whetstone Boys Ranch in Mountain View, MO, comes a time
0:38
to Sharpen, a biweekly podcast that examines how we can all be
0:42
better versions of ourselves. Better teachers, better
0:46
counselors, better parents, better people.
0:56
Music is the universal language. It crosses the boundaries of
1:00
culture, gender, age and race. It speaks to us before we have
1:04
the words to understand it and continue speaking to us even if
1:08
we lose this ability in old age. At Whetstone Boys Ranch, we use
1:12
music to make meaningful connections with our boys.
1:16
Among other things, we use it to help them cope with emotions, to
1:19
teach life lessons and to challenge assumptions.
1:22
In a word, we are intentional, mainly because it is such a
1:25
powerful and potentially harmful tool.
1:29
Join us this week on A Time to Sharpen as Brandon and I discuss
1:32
how parents, teachers and counselors can harness the power
1:36
of music. Welcome back to A Time to
1:46
sharpen. I'm Axel Imata and I'm here
1:49
again with Brandon Maxwell. Good to be with you again, Axel.
1:53
We're we're in our second studio here.
1:56
Studio 2, Studio 2 down here in the basement, your old office.
2:00
My old office. I actually prefer this studio
2:02
because it has really good acoustics and angles and books
2:07
and records and records. Lots of old vinyl records.
2:11
Yeah, you gotta smell that. Drink it in.
2:15
Smell that sound. Smell that sound.
2:18
Smell the. Man, it's only it's only 1:00.
2:21
Brandon, it's only 1:00, but well, I think it's well, yeah,
2:24
how many of these? So that one of, I mean it's
2:27
going to be around 2000 records here maybe, yeah, give or take
2:30
100 or so. But are these Freddy Limiter
2:34
records over some of his fines over the years?
2:36
You. Know probably about 1/4 of
2:38
these. Maybe up to 1/2.
2:39
I've never done an inventory, per se, but my dad has a hauling
2:43
business. I've mentioned him before in the
2:45
past take away trash service where a load on our truck is a
2:49
load off your mind. Perfect.
2:50
I've always loved that slogan. And someone got.
2:54
Rid of these records, they were load off their mind 10/15/20
2:57
years ago. Now they're probably on their
2:59
mind because people are collecting these things again
3:02
and they're they're they're pretty, pretty desirable in the
3:06
the music community. Yeah.
3:08
Well, the old saying, one man's trash is another man's treasure
3:12
and sometimes it's just time is the difference between turning a
3:17
some trash into treasure. So these have definitely served
3:21
us well. Over the years and they stood
3:23
the test. Of time I I started doing this
3:24
about 25 years ago. My first year of teaching at
3:28
Central Arkansas. Christian in Little Rock
3:30
actually. Maumelle where it was.
3:32
But it's Maumelle. Maumelle AR, how do you spell
3:35
that? Maumelle.
3:37
Maumelle. Never heard of that.
3:38
Yeah they got hit by in that area.
3:42
Got hit by a pretty bad tornado last several months ago, so but.
3:48
That was a really good experience teaching there and
3:51
and I brought the records in just as a as a way to get get
3:55
their attention and I would use them as like bell ringers and to
3:59
to kind of foster some creative writing and and just to be
4:01
different and weird I was trying to find my find my groove what
4:05
do you mean by bell ringers. Bell ringer.
4:07
That's something you do at the beginning of the class to to
4:09
pull everyone in to what you're going to talk about, teacher
4:12
term. Yeah.
4:13
Teacher term, little lingo. And because they're going in the
4:17
public or in the traditional school setting you're going from
4:19
biology to to trigonometry to literature and it's it's hard to
4:24
kind of make that transition in just 5 minutes.
4:26
So a little something different and kind of became a thing where
4:30
every school when I went to look to Kentucky and then taught here
4:33
in West Plains where I would just play music between class
4:36
and and people would come by just to see what I was playing
4:39
with the music of the day was and.
4:41
And then it, then I started adding lectures to it and so now
4:44
now we incorporate it as an elective here at The Ranch Music
4:47
Appreciation. And couple times a week I come
4:51
down and and do like a 45 minute lecture on a genre or an artist
4:55
or an idea and it's, it's, it's a teaching tool.
5:00
Yeah, well, it's apropos that we're sitting here next to all
5:02
these records. I don't know if we've officially
5:04
announced it yet as we're talking, but we're going to be
5:07
talking about music. And as it applies to, you know,
5:12
just as parents and teachers and counselors how we can use music
5:17
to connect with our kids, the role it can play and some of the
5:20
detriments that are there as well that we need to be aware
5:24
of. And so we're going to talk a
5:26
little bit about some of those things today and and also just
5:29
about how we use music here at the Ranch and and how vital it
5:34
is here as as part of our program and just connecting with
5:37
the kids. Yeah, I think the the key there
5:40
is being intentional. We want to be intentional with
5:44
this discussion and and really lay out some specific things
5:48
that we do. And as as parents, we need to be
5:51
very intentional about getting ahead of, you know, whatever
5:55
music our kids are interested in or in listening to and becoming
6:00
a part of it and and not judging it or rejecting it just because
6:04
it's different, but at the same time.
6:07
Providing whatever wisdom or guidance that a young person
6:10
needs in in making decisions and using wisdom and discretion.
6:14
So we're going to talk about some of those things today.
6:16
We're going to rap about some of those things.
6:18
Might even talk something about rap that's a popular genre these
6:22
days and actually has been. Even though my my teenagers
6:26
don't understand it and like, you know, I I grew up when rap
6:29
was, it was popular when I was younger.
6:31
And what don't they understand that they don't?
6:34
Wrap with around when you were young.
6:36
Yeah, right. Exactly.
6:38
Like, they just think it's their music and yeah, and let me talk
6:41
about this. Some of the past, like certain
6:42
words or terms that that they use now.
6:45
Like my generation invented another one.
6:47
This came up the other day. I was like, my son Caleb was
6:50
like, you know, I I call my friends, my boys, you know, I
6:53
like to call my boys. I was like, he's like, that's a
6:55
new term or something to me. I was like, you know that?
6:57
That's what we said in the 80s, you know, boys in the hood, you
7:01
know, I'm pretty sure it was invented by by my generation,
7:05
that term, but it could, it could go further back than that.
7:07
Maybe. I'm not giving my parents credit
7:09
for using cool terms, yeah. But yeah, stand staying in touch
7:14
with with what they're listening to, but at the same time not
7:17
trying to be too controlling because I think we as parents
7:22
make make mistakes in just rushing to judge.
7:26
And not giving our our children the freedom to make some of
7:30
those decisions. But it's a scary thing as a
7:33
parent when your your little darling, cute as can be girl,
7:39
little girl, little boy starts listening to stuff that's
7:42
dealing with adult things moves into.
7:46
Issues of sexuality and and there's violence and there's
7:49
societal ills that are discussed sometimes in an artistic way and
7:52
in a helpful way, but oftentimes and and probably more frequently
7:57
kind of glorifying those behaviors.
7:59
And yeah, maybe a good place to start or maybe back up a little
8:05
bit and talk about really our music appreciation class that
8:11
you mentioned or just our program here and how we
8:14
structure that and the reason we have it set up the way we do and
8:19
and how we handle some of that. And that may help bolster some
8:23
of the conversation. Well, I guess I've always
8:27
thought that, Well, I'll start with the quote that I heard from
8:33
on NPR. Actually, there was an article
8:34
about Aretha Franklin. This was just after she passed,
8:38
and she grew up in a religious household and a lot of those
8:40
early soul R&B singers of the 60s and late 50s.
8:46
And even today in hip hop and rap and soul communities, Lazars
8:51
grow up in the church and they they move out of the church when
8:55
they start this type of music that's considered taboo.
9:00
Or you know back in the 50s it was, it was R&B, it was like
9:03
that's that's the that's the music you listen to on Saturday
9:06
night. You know, gospel is is what we
9:09
need to be listening to. And her dad was a preacher and a
9:13
lot of those early artists, Otis Redding and.
9:15
And Al Green and just a ton of them grew up in the church and
9:24
then moved away from the church and they had to make a choice
9:27
between one of the other. Her dad was of the opinion that
9:30
that that the devil doesn't have any music.
9:33
And I think is what he was. Is the devil don't have no music
9:36
is what she she was quoted as saying or was it was a quote
9:39
associated with her. And I like to think of.
9:41
I'd like to think of it that way, like in in Hell.
9:45
There is going to be silence, maybe shrieking, wailing,
9:51
moaning stuff like that. Interesting fire, crackling
9:55
sounds. I don't know.
9:56
But it's not going to be music. It's not going to be musical,
9:59
not soothing. Music.
10:00
It's not going to be worth listening to, right?
10:02
And music is something that God created.
10:06
It's it's beauty. And I like to start with that.
10:11
So that I don't rush to judgment and I don't reject immediately
10:15
something that I hear based upon how different it is than from
10:19
what I'm what I'm used to. So I I try to have a very open
10:22
mind. I also, as a, as a teacher, am
10:26
dealing with students from wide variety of backgrounds.
10:30
So I'm not going to make a judgment about them or their
10:32
culture or their family about the choices they've made-up to
10:35
this point. I want them to know that I'm
10:37
going to, I'm going to treat them with respect and dignity.
10:40
And you people for for right or wrong assume that the judgments
10:45
you make about their music are the judgments that you're making
10:47
about them as a person. So I try to try to draw that
10:50
line and so to that end I I designed my music appreciation
10:55
course to to do every possible genre that I that I passed that
10:59
I can and so we will start with early kind of Blues and move up
11:06
through. Broadway tunes, musicals in the
11:11
the 30s and 40s and into jazz and then into like country and
11:16
folk and and rockabilly and then rock'n'roll and then rhythm and
11:20
bluegrass and there. Bluegrass and then country and.
11:23
Rhythm and and Blues and and soul and then.
11:27
All the rock, All the rocks. All the subgenres of rock?
11:30
How many subgenres? Psychedelic Rock 20.
11:32
Blues rock, oh, there, there are hundreds.
11:35
But you got punk rock and art rock and prog rock and jazz rock
11:38
and and Matt's favorite post rock.
11:41
Post Rock You get into Post rock.
11:42
What does that even mean? And then we all we come all the
11:45
way up to alternative rock and and rap, and that's kind of
11:48
where we end, because that's where my vinyl collection ends.
11:50
That's when they stopped making vinyls the first time.
11:53
Now everyone's releasing on vinyl too.
11:55
And actually cassette. I saw Taylor Swift released her
11:58
latest album on cassette tape. Yeah.
11:59
Interesting. And so I I give them a wide
12:02
variety. And what I'm trying to kind of
12:04
communicate is that that, you know, different is good.
12:07
If you came in and you only listen to country, you only
12:09
listen to the rap. You only listen to whatever,
12:11
just listen to some different stuff.
12:13
And I think that that has a a parallel with other types of
12:17
advice or wisdom that we give them.
12:18
It's like, hey, I'm not going to say what you're doing there was
12:22
bad or wrong or just I'm just going to say listen to something
12:24
different and see if you like it too.
12:26
And I want to increase your level of enjoyment with life and
12:29
I don't want you. I want to teach you how to get
12:31
more pleasure out of more things, and I have a lot more,
12:36
lot more success with that than than trying to judge what?
12:39
Oh yeah, for sure. But one of the things I I've
12:42
always appreciated is just how you guys set the music up.
12:46
And it's the same with like movies that we do here.
12:49
But we really, you know, you have your whole Rolodex of, you
12:55
know, all your artists and the history behind the band, the
12:59
history behind the artist. And a lot of that includes, you
13:02
know, just their personal story. What were some of their
13:05
struggles, what were some of their demons?
13:06
What were some of the things that they were dealing with that
13:09
derived that was really the basis of writing a particular
13:14
piece of music or what really influenced them as an artist.
13:20
And so when we're able to look at those things and and really
13:25
concentrate on, you know, just their background and and their
13:30
experiences and that the writing came out of that, then I think
13:35
you have a whole new level of respect for that person.
13:38
You have a different perspective and you understand the music a
13:42
little bit more. And it's not just, you know, a
13:45
brain brain dump type song where you're just, it's a, you know,
13:49
it's just like a catchy tune and there's no meat behind it.
13:53
I think our boys really appreciate that and I've always
13:56
been impressed with how narrow some of our boys have a very
14:00
wide array of music in their repertoire that they know and
14:04
and listen to. But I would say on average most
14:07
of it's pretty narrow and it's pretty rap with our boys and and
14:12
or our country and and so they've you know by the time
14:17
they leave here they get exposed to like so many different genres
14:21
of music. And not only that, but they go
14:23
home with like 30 to 40 records. You know they they get to buy
14:27
the records in the marriage store.
14:29
And so as you said they're you know, vinyl is like super
14:32
popular now. And so the overall experience
14:36
that our boys get with the music program here is really they
14:41
don't, they're not going to get that anywhere else to be honest.
14:44
I think that's a pretty unique element of our program that we
14:47
offer. Yeah, and it's kind of ironic
14:49
that. Nowadays people have access to
14:54
any type of music that they possibly can.
14:57
Like the varieties of music that you can, just that you have
15:00
access to with just the click. One click on Spotify or Apple
15:05
Music is just incredible. It's there's almost so much that
15:08
it's it's paralyzing, you know, and you may be out of, out of
15:15
that discomfort and out of that. Inability to decide.
15:19
You maybe just go back even more frequently to the stuff that
15:22
you're used to because it's just it's too much, it's
15:25
overwhelming. So we do, we do see that kind of
15:29
a kind of narrowing in on one type of music and then also with
15:33
with whatever sub genre that you're able to listen to you can
15:36
go down that particular rabbit hole.
15:38
So if you like rap, you can listen to millions and millions
15:42
of songs that are that are rap songs and and take your whole
15:46
life and you would listen to them all.
15:48
So you just maybe get a little too narrow in your focus, but
15:52
well, something that reminded me of just the single click instant
15:58
gratification our playlist on our phones.
16:00
It's like we got 30 different artists and 100 different songs,
16:04
and it's just like, I'm going to play this song from this person
16:07
and then this group, but talk a little bit about, and I learned
16:11
this from you, of just some of the albums, the old albums and
16:16
all of the songs had a theme, right?
16:19
So it's not. It's just kind of looking at an
16:23
album as a whole and kind of enjoying the theme of the music,
16:30
the theme of the album. And it's not just one song.
16:33
So maybe talking about that a little bit.
16:35
Well, that's interesting. You should bring up, because
16:37
we've we've been talking about that in school.
16:39
The last several lectures is concept albums.
16:43
Not all albums are this way, but starting with critics will kind
16:48
of our critics and historians argue about this, but The
16:51
Beatles, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is
16:53
generally considered to be the first real concept album.
16:57
Beach Boys had Pet Sounds right before that, and that's kind of
16:59
conceptual, but the one that gets all the the credit is the
17:03
is Sergeant Peppers. And then after that artist
17:05
started to see the how you could start to think about rock music
17:10
and all genres of music. But rock was kind of the first
17:12
to latch onto it the possibilities of designing music
17:16
on a grander scale in in the same way that a composer would
17:19
write a Symphony or an orchestra.
17:21
And so they started to incorporate a variety of
17:23
different different instruments. And they would start to kind of
17:27
weave A narrative through the songs and tell the stories of a
17:32
of a protagonist or maybe it's focused on a an idea.
17:36
So that becomes a a popular push.
17:38
The Beatles were doing it just interestingly out of safety
17:42
concerns because they they couldn't tour and not be exposed
17:46
to just the mania that surrounded them and and death
17:48
threats and. Things like that.
17:51
So it's kind of practical. They were also all pursuing
17:53
their own individual projects and they could, they couldn't
17:57
get together to tour and they we weren't interested in doing that
17:59
anymore. So it's sort of a practical kind
18:03
of purpose for them. But that it was so success, so,
18:06
so successful and it has such a positive impact with audiences
18:09
and critics that other people started picking up, picking up
18:11
on it. And so in the 70s you have a lot
18:13
of concept albums. Pink Floyd's stuff is is very
18:16
conceptual. The Who?
18:18
With with Tommy, you know the Rock Opera and and Pink Floyd
18:22
with The Wall, those are those are famous concept albums.
18:25
But even people like Merle Haggard with My Love Affair with
18:28
Trains, that's an album that's that's just talking about trains
18:31
and travel and things like that. And you just get a lot more out
18:36
of the music if you listen to it from beginning to end instead of
18:40
just listen to a a bit of a song you know and then jump to the
18:45
next one and. Like you said, it's like
18:47
immediate gratification. It's like a sign of the times.
18:49
It's just like we got to have. It's just everything is so one
18:52
click or click bait. It's it's quick, it's easy.
18:56
It's pleasurable for just a moment in time.
19:01
And then it just you you lose a lot of the artistry and the just
19:05
the art in general behind the songs and then again the
19:10
understanding where they came from.
19:12
The one thing I appreciate or one of the things I appreciate
19:15
about I'm not a huge music buff. I love a lot of different types
19:20
of music, but the ones that are always they write their own
19:23
music from their own experiences.
19:25
I mean, going back to country, I'm a big Chris LeDoux fan and
19:29
the one thing I've always appreciated about Chris LeDoux
19:32
is just that he, he didn't write 100% of his songs, but the
19:37
majority of his songs were just from his own experiences and
19:41
from his heart. And it was just, I've always
19:44
appreciated that more. And and today we just people
19:48
write songs, they sell them and then you got people just on the
19:52
stage singing them, which is I'm not.
19:55
I don't want to discount that. I mean with the talent of
19:57
singing it's just the total package.
20:00
We don't see that as much it seems like.
20:02
It runs the gamut, you know, with the artists that are out
20:05
there. But yeah, in terms of what the
20:06
Top 40, you know, the stuff that's that's very super popular
20:12
tends to be a little and it's probably always been this way,
20:15
produced and marketed and streamlined in order to get the
20:20
most eyeballs, clicks, listens, whatever.
20:24
Those artists are still out there and still highly
20:26
respected. But you know in the 60s and 70s
20:28
that that singer-songwriter generation, that was when that
20:32
really started to come of age with The Beatles.
20:35
You know, probably beginning with them.
20:38
And then you know your John Denver's and your Neil Diamonds,
20:41
and your Carole Kings, and your James Taylor's and.
20:45
You better believe it's Neil Diamond.
20:48
What's What's that from? It's Will Ferrell, but that was
20:52
the clean version. There's our there's our quote
20:57
for the podcast. Yeah, yeah.
21:00
Well. Just kind of going back to I
21:02
guess where the the rubber hits the road as it relates to
21:05
parents and dealing with our kids and and music.
21:08
I mean since the beginning of time.
21:10
And that's always been kind of the joke that the the chasm of
21:14
music between what parents enjoy and what their kids enjoy is, is
21:20
no new thing. But like anything, it can be.
21:25
Something that drives a wedge in our relationship, or it's
21:27
something that we can be creative with and really figure
21:30
out How can we connect with our kids with music?
21:35
And it's funny because the songs that we listen to that were
21:39
popular in high school when we were our kids age, you know,
21:41
some. Blaring some def leopard and
21:44
some A/C DC and the kids are in the cars like, oh man, I hadn't
21:46
heard this song in a while. You crank it up, you're like,
21:49
whoa, I forgot it said that in the lyrics.
21:52
Yeah. Or like, Oh yeah, I guess I was
21:55
just singing the You just have a different perspective.
21:57
Yeah, And so that the excuse that that I hear from my kids a
22:01
lot is, well, it doesn't mean that.
22:04
Or I didn't think of it that way.
22:06
Or maybe I didn't even listen to the lyrics.
22:10
I wasn't listening to the lyrics and I can have some sympathy for
22:13
that, right When I experienced what you just described,
22:16
listening to the old songs I listened to and I was kind of
22:19
clueless about some of that stuff and some of it I knew was
22:22
there and it was a part of the attraction of the song.
22:24
But a lot of it really did go over my head and and or the the
22:29
lyrics, I didn't fully understand the lyrics.
22:31
I don't know that you have that excuse.
22:33
Doesn't work as well in this day and age when you can have access
22:36
to lyrics immediately, like when you listen to a song on Spotify,
22:41
the lyrics are right there. All you got to do is Scroll down
22:43
a little bit, You can you can do a little Google search or
22:47
whatever and find them. Used to be, you had to, like,
22:50
record the song on a cassette. Yeah, catch it on the radio and
22:54
then. Play it over and over again.
22:55
And then? You're trying to decipher and
22:56
even then you didn't get them right.
22:58
You're kind of guessing at what they're saying.
23:00
On the flip side of that though, I mean are how many kids are
23:02
actually reading through? Well, I'm not even memorizing
23:07
lyrics is, but I just had this discussion with my daughter the
23:09
other day. Like, she likes to memorize the
23:11
songs. Not every song, but she has her
23:13
songs. I've never really been a lyric
23:16
memorizer. I I don't know if I don't listen
23:19
to the song enough to really memorize it or if I just don't
23:21
care enough about the lyrics. What does she like about
23:25
memorizing the lyrics? Is she just says it just
23:27
increases her enjoyment of the song to know to sing along with
23:30
it. Yeah, and I get that.
23:32
I just. Her music of choice, Oh, she
23:35
likes a lot of different stuff. She she likes country, but she
23:38
likes rap and hip hop. And we've had our fair share of
23:41
discussions about songs that are inappropriate and songs maybe
23:46
that she was listening to and and knew that she shouldn't be.
23:50
And and then there have been other other songs where we had
23:53
to talk about them and say, hey, this is not usually the
23:57
conversation your teenage daughter wants to have with you
23:59
about, you know, this is talking about XYZ.
24:04
And you know that they get super embarrassed.
24:06
Yeah, I'm not listening. They get super embarrassed.
24:10
But that can sometimes be a nice little strategy.
24:12
Like, hey, if you're going to make these choices, then you're
24:14
going to have to indulge me in a discussion of, of what this is
24:19
actually talking about. And you know that you can take
24:24
that too far, obviously. Yeah, there's some discernment
24:28
there, but it's like we want to have those conversations.
24:31
Your kids are going to when they leave the house, they're going
24:33
to be listening to whatever music they want to listen to and
24:38
you're not going to have that control.
24:40
And so those discussions are better to be had in your home,
24:46
in in the right setting and and honest conversations.
24:51
Those are things we don't want to shy away from, even though
24:53
it's a discussion that. We that may not be enjoy or or
24:58
may not be something we enjoy or our kids enjoy because it's
25:02
awkward. But those are the places, just
25:05
like here at Whetstone, like this is the place to really try
25:09
to handle some of those problems, or to handle some of
25:15
those behaviors, or. Some of those things that that
25:17
we like to do, what are naturally bent towards that may
25:20
be not healthy, Well, we can have a discussion as a family
25:24
that's open about it. And I think for us as parents,
25:27
you know, our side or our role is to be vulnerable and honest
25:32
and say you know what, I'd like to listen to this stuff.
25:35
And some of this did go over my head.
25:37
So I can see and there's some things that I listen to that I
25:40
probably shouldn't have and. But it's all, you know, it's
25:45
good music and it's and it's just being again, I think if we
25:49
look at like maybe One Direction would be like, you know what,
25:52
That music is pretty crass and pretty rough.
25:57
But let's maybe look at the history of this artist and let's
26:02
see what led him to this style of music.
26:06
Like, let's just do it. And that's just something you
26:09
guys can do together. And I think if you do that and
26:13
you kind of dive into some of these fly by night and you know
26:16
just use rap artist as a as an example.
26:19
I mean, there's so many of these.
26:20
Lil Wayne, little baby, little, whatever.
26:23
You know, just. Lil Wayne's obviously been
26:27
around for a while. And.
26:29
It's probably not a good. Example lots of littles.
26:32
But it's just the point is looking at them and looking at
26:35
their lifestyles, what they represent, and having an open
26:39
conversation is like, let's look at the lyrics.
26:42
Like these are disgusting lyrics, you know?
26:45
And like there's no value there other than a catchy tune.
26:50
And so you have those conversations and you can agree
26:55
to disagree. But at least, you know, it's
26:58
about the discussion, yeah. And it's about helping them to
27:01
work through and process their their decision making because
27:07
they're making decisions about like hundreds of things at this
27:13
point in their life that are going to impact the the rest of
27:17
their life. It's not just their music.
27:19
I mean this is just one area and it seems like there's a really
27:22
big one because it's a point of contention with a lot of
27:24
parents. But everything from their choice
27:27
of music to if I'm going to turn left or right at the end of the
27:29
driveway, their brain is like developing.
27:32
Like how fast am I going to drive here?
27:34
What am I going to put in my body?
27:36
You know, how am I going to spend my time with my friends?
27:39
What am I going to do at 10:30 at night And 95% of these
27:44
decisions that we're not there with them, right.
27:46
So the ones that we can be there with them and be proactive and
27:50
intentional about helping them to make the decisions we should
27:53
like welcome that opportunity and not like try to make it
27:58
disappear because that's just going to make all those other
28:00
opportunities to talk about things disappear as well.
28:03
And then you're in a You're in a world of hurt.
28:05
Yeah, 100%. So there's.
28:10
There's value in those discussions and and being able
28:12
to just just be honest like that's really the the key there.
28:19
How do we so thinking about the ranch going back to here And you
28:26
know some of our like when we go on adventure weeks and field
28:30
trips and things like that, the boys want to have control of the
28:35
radio. But we've Who needs a radio?
28:40
Radio Going back, Back to the future while rerun.
28:44
What the heck is a rerun? One of the things that, well,
28:49
since the beginning of Whetstone, the things that we've
28:52
struggled with early on, is, you know, if you get shotgun and
28:56
having kids control, like one of the privileges was letting kids
28:59
like, you know, get to choose a radio station.
29:01
Or, you know, back when that was more of a thing and it just, it
29:06
always went. To where you know the kids
29:08
picked the the worst ones you know so we've we've kind of
29:12
transitioned a long time ago to where on the longer trips I know
29:16
you and Gabe are good at this of just creating playlist that have
29:20
a lot of good you know some rap songs pop folk I mean just a
29:26
whole a wide array of music that the boys like that we're
29:32
intentional with picking out. Ourselves and and again it's
29:35
something and some of those have some bad lyrics in there, so
29:39
it's just but not not a ton of them.
29:42
But it's like we're not going to.
29:43
I think if we just the idea of meeting the boys where they're
29:47
at and being able to have discussions when maybe some of
29:51
those songs come up. But I think is good for us as
29:57
parents or as as care workers for for kids.
30:00
Right. To not just like draw this hard
30:01
line and it's just like you're not going to be doing that.
30:04
We've got to protect you at all costs from these things.
30:07
Like that's not practical or healthy.
30:11
Yeah, a couple tools I would kind of throw out there.
30:17
One is Spotify has this function on if it says if you like this
30:22
song, play others like this right Or forget what that exact
30:26
terminology is. But if you noodle around a
30:27
little bit on a streaming devices they usually have
30:30
something like that. Some algorithm that determines
30:33
what songs you're likely going to like.
30:36
So you can take a song that your son listens to or your daughter,
30:40
the both of you like like hey, we both like this song.
30:43
If you click that take advantage of that function it will suggest
30:45
hundreds, thousands of other songs.
30:48
So you can create. What I've done recently is kind
30:50
of tried to create a playlist for my son because he's like I
30:53
don't I've talked to him about some songs that had some bad
30:56
lyrics and he's like, man, I I just like that song, I like the
30:59
beat, I like the bass, I like everything about it except the
31:01
lyrics. It wasn't enjoying the fact that
31:04
these had bad lyrics. He just liked that song.
31:06
So we started to to work on a playlist of songs that that we
31:10
could be proactive for because sometimes those will will
31:14
recommend that the worst possible songs.
31:16
So you have to kind of like go through them together and then
31:20
star them and create lists. And a lot of kids like different
31:23
playlists for different types of moods that they're in.
31:26
You know, they're experiencing all these emotions.
31:27
For the first time and they're powerful and it's really
31:30
meaningful when you find a song that that you connect with.
31:33
So that's one thing. Also you know utilize those
31:37
functions on your phone that give you some basic parental
31:39
kind of control over what what they see and what they listen to
31:45
and that takes a little time and it can be frustrating especially
31:48
with being all different generation and not and not
31:51
coming naturally and sometimes you just want to say I'll just
31:54
forget about it. I'll just let them figure it out
31:57
which is irresponsible. So instead of some basic
32:00
controls and there's also an app that we use called Bark which we
32:05
found very useful it'll it gives us alerts if a song is being
32:09
played or if a text is sent that's that's inappropriate or
32:13
or if it it indicates that they're in danger or something
32:17
like that And you can you can kind of play with those limits
32:20
so it's not too strong right. And you can work with your kids
32:24
and they know that you're doing it.
32:25
And every kids different like my daughter's more the type if if
32:28
we come down too strict then she'll it'll just drive her
32:31
probably the other way And my son probably he's more like
32:35
appreciates the limits and so you got to kind of work with
32:38
your kids and and know you know. Yeah, everybody's different.
32:42
Yeah, sure. Right, so.
32:43
Bark is that B. A bark.
32:44
BARK. Like, like that.
32:47
Like a dog barking. Yeah.
32:49
Was that a? Was that a?
32:50
That was like a Chihuahua it sound like.
32:53
A Chihuahua bark like a little one of those little pocket dogs.
32:57
Yeah, that was. That kind of I'll have to listen
32:58
back to on the podcast and and maybe it came across as a bark
33:02
but. It did not sound like a bark.
33:04
Like those little yapper dogs. One of the those are three
33:10
things the the bar cap. Check into it and they're all
33:13
kinds of different apps. Whatever streaming service you
33:17
use, or whatever phone you have, or whatever browser you have,
33:22
you can set up some basic controls and be ready to be
33:25
frustrated if you're of my age, 49, and some of you might be
33:31
younger than. Or that if.
33:32
You're a basic area. This is coming from a 49 year
33:36
old who is probably. Better than average on the tech
33:40
side of things. So if you're not a techie maybe
33:45
a little bit more frustrating. But the the point is that Axel
33:48
mentioned being intentional and there's that's just one way to
33:53
be intentional among so many. We have to be plugged into what
33:56
our kids are doing, what they're listening to, where they're
33:59
going. And so that's a that's that's a
34:03
key element there. One other thing that you
34:05
mentioned, Axle, that I appreciate is the just the
34:08
beauty. Like music was made and invented
34:13
by God and being able to have that conversation with our kids.
34:18
You know, my wife is a accomplished flute player and
34:23
she doesn't have a great ear for music, but she can read music
34:28
like. I mean, she can just pick up a
34:29
piece of sheet music with just looks like somebody threw up
34:33
like. Pepper all over this you know
34:35
piece of paper and she can just like make some beautiful sounds
34:38
out of it. And so you just think about when
34:40
you really know music theory and you know how everything works
34:43
together. It's just unbelievable how
34:46
things can come together and the sounds that we can make like
34:49
that's not by accident and and God has gave us music to create
34:54
a motion to stir a motion to bolster those things.
34:56
To be sad, to grieve when we need to grieve and.
34:59
To get us excited when when we're excited and we have music
35:03
to be able to do that and so that is a good thing and just
35:07
like anything we can use it to glorify God or we can use it to
35:12
to not and and it could be detrimental and so it's just a
35:15
matter of how we handle that with our our kids.
35:19
David was the first rock star, you know, right?
35:22
He he was an accomplished. Heart player.
35:27
Liar. Stringed instruments of some
35:29
sort. You know.
35:31
Saul brought him into his court to to play music to calm him
35:34
down. He wrote obviously song lyrics
35:38
and the good portion of the psalms or originated from him.
35:42
And yeah, I I think that's that's pretty cool that the man
35:46
after God's own heart was it was a musician.
35:49
Right. You know, Yeah, it's just
35:50
amazing thinking about all the way back then, like having
35:53
stringed instruments like. It's like, well, I wonder what
35:57
the strings were made. Out of I wonder if it was a
35:59
Fender. I think it was a Fender.
36:00
A Fender? Yeah, it's probably an Apple
36:04
phone. Well, Brandon, I got a I
36:08
actually have to go out there in the school room and and do a
36:10
lecture right now. So really, I probably need to
36:12
wrap this up. Yeah.
36:14
One last thing that I wanted to mention before we wrap up is
36:18
just we got a letter back from one of our listeners that I
36:22
appreciate and she was just it was on.
36:26
The second to the last podcast was the aircraft carriers.
36:29
And so she just wrote a letter saying hey listen to the podcast
36:34
on aircraft carriers. And I got to thinking about just
36:36
all the people on an aircraft carrier and I did a little bit
36:41
of research but you know there's so this kind of a fun fact
36:44
probably 4 to 5000 people on an aircraft carrier.
36:48
So, like, that's a that's a lot of people and.
36:51
They all, a lot of the people on the deck have different colors
36:55
to, you know, their their uniforms which represents
36:58
different purposes that they all have.
37:00
And so she was just writing back and just appreciating the
37:05
podcast and also wanted to share that.
37:07
You know, I feel like that's also representative of Whetstone
37:12
because and just for us as parents, that to have a tribe of
37:16
people and a good group of people to be around because it
37:19
takes a ton of people. And certainly here at Whetstone
37:23
when we think about you know, we have 18 to 20 staff here, but
37:26
like thousands of people across the country praying for us,
37:30
supporting us, thinking about us and to to do what we do here.
37:35
And so it's kind of cool, just a little A twist on on what we
37:39
were talking about that particular podcast and so
37:41
appreciate her for. Sending that in and and
37:45
interacting with us. It's always good to get some
37:47
feedback from from listeners, some sharpeners out some.
37:50
Sharpeners. Yeah, yes, that's cool.
37:52
Sharpened us with some fun facts.
37:56
Well, thanks to Tom Thomas Brown for helping to edit this
38:02
podcast. Make it make it sound cool.
38:04
And Tom actually is very involved in the music program
38:08
here as well. He shows videos and educational
38:12
stuff and documentaries. He's a huge music guy himself.
38:16
Probably the biggest Pink Floyd fan that I know out there.
38:19
Yeah, Thomas Brown. So thanks for all the work that
38:22
you do with this. Speaking of Thomas Brown, my my
38:25
daughter was saying that they played a new game called Zombie
38:28
Cat. I hadn't heard of that.
38:38
I was like that. That had to.
38:39
BE It's a little card game. Is it like exploding?
38:41
Yeah, it's like one of those kind of things.
38:42
Yeah, I was like. I gotta get one for Tom Brown.
38:44
Yeah, zombie cat. Two favorite things.
38:47
Yeah, There you go. Well, thanks, Thomas, and thank
38:50
you all for listening to this podcast.
38:53
We'll catch you next time. All right.
38:54
Time to sharpen. Take care.
39:03
Whetstone Boys Ranch is a therapeutic boarding school
39:06
located in the scenic Ozarks of southern Missouri.
39:09
It was founded in 2011 to serve families from around the country
39:14
who are struggling with challenging behaviors from their
39:16
12 to 16 year old sons. Our mission is to sharpen the
39:20
character of young men. Please visit
39:23
whetstoneboysranch.com if you want to learn more about our
39:26
program or about how to contact us for help.
39:29
Thanks for listening and we hope to catch you next time on A Time
39:32
to Sharpen.