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Buddhist Psychology - Intuition and gut feeling · Gabriel Ellis, PhD | The Curious Mind Podcast

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Hello everyone, my name is Gabriel Ellis.
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I'm a psychologist, psychotherapist and long term
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meditator, Buddhist meditator and in this video I want to
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highlight another connection between original Buddhism and
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modern psychology. The topic of today is intuition,
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self feeling, gut feeling and what we can take from the
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Buddhist tradition, what they have to say about it, how can we
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reflect on it from a more Buddhist perspective and how we
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can implement this in our lives. When I speak about intuition, I
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want to provide 2 categories, 2 groups of internal phenomena
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that I want to surmise under this label of intuition.
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The 1st is self feeling, and self feeling is what I call how
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I fundamentally relate to myself and the world.
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Now this is unconscious. It lies at the root of our
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personality. It guides our thoughts, our
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feelings, our actions. We usually don't perceive it.
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It encompasses our basic attitudes, values, and am I
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generally open? Am I optimistic, pessimistic,
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conscientious? What are my conviction
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convictions about the world? What is my conviction about how
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lovable I generally am? How do I deal with authorities
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or disagreements? What kind of people do I like to
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connect with? What kind of people do I like to
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distance myself from those kinds of patterns?
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They are not random. They make us who we are.
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We don't in every situation choose in you.
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We follow certain patterns and those patterns, they are based
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on what I want to call self feeling.
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Again, this is something that is entirely unconscious and lies at
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the base, at the root of our personality.
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At some exceptions though, we come to notice that our self
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feeling has changed it. It becomes noticeable, for
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example, when we are sick, when we take certain meds, when
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drastic events happen, and then we'll realize that something is
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off. Maybe I notice them.
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I relate to the world in a much more pessimistic way.
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Or that I am walking on clouds today and I'm very optimistic
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that everyone, every person seems fine.
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I'm able to couldn't connect with any kind of person and so
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on. So under these circumstances we
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cannot really, you know, put a finger onto it.
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But we understand okay somehow. My relation to the world, to
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myself, has substantially changed in a way that changes
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everything. Okay.
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So this is what I call self feeling.
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As I said, mostly unconscious. Only in very exceptional
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situations and circumstances we can become conscious of them.
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From that I would like to distinguish the moods.
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Moods are half conscious in any kind of situation.
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Usually when we want to, when we are asked to do it, we can make
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our moods conscious, but they are some kind of a fog which
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remains in the background of our daily conscious mental activity.
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They color usually what we experience, the color, what is
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in the foreground of our attention, the foreground of our
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mental experience. But it is quite noticeable.
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So we do know that on any given situation or day we are euphoric
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or melancholic. This is often subtle.
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It influences what we perceive. It filters out the aspects that
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the mood is inclined to perceive.
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So if I'm in a melancholic mood and I'm talking to people, I
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might be reminded, for example, how isolated I sometimes am from
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others. So what I perceive is a
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reflection of the mood that I went into the conversation with
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in the 1st place. Also, those moods are not
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random. They also are an expression of
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my personality, of my individuality, and they are an
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expression of the self feeling that is usually entirely
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unconscious. Both self feeling and moods are
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integral parts of our personality and as much as we as
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people would like to be free in our expression, free in our
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filtering and our relation to the world, we are still always
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limited to certain sets. Set a certain fingerprint, if
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you will, of moods and self feelings that guide us through
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our life and that also make us recognizable for others when
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they see us. People usually are not in every
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situation wondering who they're dealing with.
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They see patterns and they see the patterns that we display
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that we express those unconscious base self relations
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with. In the best case, when we do
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live a normal a satisfied, happy life, self feeling and moods
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like a well oiled machine, in the end they are supposed to
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guide us, to filter our experience in a way that is,
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that is appropriate and that is practical for us.
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They're supposed to give us an adequate interpretation of what
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happening, what is happening around us, an adequate
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interpretation. If the people around us mean
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harm or mean well. They should support us in the
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choice of actions, that what we choose is beneficial for us,
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ideally also beneficial for others.
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They should not limit our intelligence and so on.
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So in the end, they of course not that for, you know, random
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reason. They're supposed to support our
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ego, our self, our daily life, our experience.
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And this is what people hope for when they look for the inside as
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as a guide. This is what we're looking for
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when we're looking for our gut feeling or we're looking for
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intuition. We're looking for something like
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a wise counselor that supports us in the best way of how to
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manage complex situations. But my clinical practice shows
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very different examples. People usually come, and this is
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the broadest category. In general, people usually come
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with some sort of anxiety, some sort of emptiness, depression,
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life issues, relationship issues.
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Now whether they're able to express it or not, but often at
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the root of it, at the base of it, there is a self feeling.
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There are moods that actively obstruct their daily life.
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They obstruct the way that they interpret conversations with
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their partners, with the family at work.
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They make them do things that are not beneficial for them and
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this is often quite frustrating. People usually know this.
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They see that what is happening inside of them is not
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supportive, and it can come to a place when I'm not only
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insecure, but I'm afraid that impulses from the inside will
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come up, that strong feelings from the inside will come up.
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Because experience has showed me that I went on a slippery slope
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with them and it led me to do things, to communicate in a way
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that was not good for me, that I regretted afterwards and that
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was not good for others. So my inner counselor was off.
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They did not counsel me in the right way.
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So what is supposed to be a support system for me that I
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have a trusted friend that you know doesn't decide, but gives
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me good counsel of how to act and react in certain situations
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in daily life? This is exactly the source that
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I cannot trust and that I learn to be intimidated by.
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So the question is now if my inner compass, if my intuition,
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if my gut feeling give me bad advice, Is there something that
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I can do? Well, of course there is.
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Our culture has developed certain tools to deal with that,
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and the old times religion was often a support system.
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It was not very precise. It had a different perspective
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on life. You know, depending on which
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religion it was or which individual people were that were
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counseling, they might have been gifted or not.
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In today's life, the field that society has developed in order
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to help us, to develop our self feeling and our moods is
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therapy. Simple as that, right?
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When we have issues, when our inner compass is off, when I
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perceive myself as partly an enemy, or at least you know, not
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a companion, then I have an issue.
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And it's only a question of time until I run into issues in the
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outside world as well. So I go to therapy.
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I describe my issues depending on the therapy school that I'm
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involved with. I give certain advice and in the
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end, hopefully, I come out with a relation to myself, a relation
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to my intuition and gut feeling that as well.
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Now what is important for therapists to keep in mind, and
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here is 1 transition from this very basic topic of self healing
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and moods to therapy. What therapists have to keep in
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mind is to alternate between practical advice, solution
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oriented advice and a more fundamental perspective.
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What I mean with that is when let's say, a client comes with
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anxiety or relationship issues, then of course we can support
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them with practical tips. Maybe you can do that.
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Maybe your partner means that when they say this, maybe you
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can request something. Maybe you can do this exercise,
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a communication exercise. Maybe you can use your gratitude
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journal, You can talk about your feelings.
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So these are very precise, concrete measures and means
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tools to deal with concrete communication, social or
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emotional situations. Okay.
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So far so good. But as a therapist I also need
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to keep in mind to zoom out and to ask my clients.
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How do you relate to yourself? What is your typical attitude
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towards yourself? Are you generally A lovable
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person? Are you worthy of appreciation?
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How do you see the world? Are you optimistic?
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Are you open or are you pessimistic?
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And then we take all of these self related responses, the sets
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of values and basic attitudes towards myself and we question
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them. So what is your general thought?
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If you go into a crowd and there are people, what is your general
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attitude? Do you think that you're able to
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keep, you know, a benevolent, interesting conversation?
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Do you walk up to them or are you shy?
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Okay. When they give me an answer, for
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example? No.
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Usually I'm a little bit hesitant.
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I'm shy. I don't know what I'm talking
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about in small talk, so I'm trying to avoid that.
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Then I can ask the client okay. Do you agree with this attitude?
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Are you okay with it? And depending on that response I
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can move on to question their self feeling their self
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relation. If someone is not okay with
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being overly shy, for example, or overly confident, which might
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be the case also that that brings problems, then we're
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starting to work in a very subtle way on the self feeling,
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because then I'm disagreeing with my programming, so to
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speak. I'm disagreeing with the pattern
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that I'm displaying that I have come to learn and come to see
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over the years. So I disagree with my habitual
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patterns. And then we start to chew.
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You know, the chewing is kind of a metaphor that comes from child
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psychology, which means we don't just swallow, you know, a new
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attitude, a new value. We start to chew.
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What would I like to be instead? How does that relate to other
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values that I have? How do I perceive other people
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who are shy or overly confident? What do I think about them?
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Can I put myself in their shoes? And so on.
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We start to take something that is isolated, which is the new
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idea of how I should be, how I want to be in a certain
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situation. And we start to relate it to
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other aspects of my life, other aspects of my personality, to
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assess if this would be really a good move to go in that
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direction, to develop in that direction, Okay.
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So this is the basic issue as I tried to lay it out.
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This basic issue lies at the heart of many issues that people
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come with in therapy. And therapy has a certain
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approach to it. And the more I think the more
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conscious the therapeutic approach is, the therapist is
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about that. The more they have a possibility
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to consciously adjust, assess and change this very basic self
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relation, the self feeling and the moods that guide us in our
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daily situations. Now I started by saying that I
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want to build a bridge between Buddhism and psychology.
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So the question is now what does it have Buddhism to contribute?
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What does it have to say about the topic of self feeling and
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intuition? And depending on how much you
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know about Buddhism, you might be surprised to hear that
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actually it has a lot to say about it.
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Now generally our understanding of Buddhism is that it's about
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liberation, maybe Peace of Mind, meditation and so on.
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And that these are the kind of the high aspects that Buddhism
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wants to contribute, to implement in our life, that we
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should lead a good life, be peaceful and meditate.
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This is certainly true. But in this perspective what is
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lost is that Buddhism is quite aware of its fundamentals.
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And here I'm talking about original Buddhism.
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This is the historical Buddhism that developed 2000, about 2500
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years ago in Northeast India by the historical Buddha.
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Buddhism of course is a very long standing tradition in so
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many countries. So the let's say 203 hundred
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years after the Buddha, Buddhism became much more abstract,
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theoretical and moved on to flower and flourish into many
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other traditions. So what I want to focus on is
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the original Buddhism. And in the original Buddhism,
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there is a concept that is called Sila and Pali or Sheila
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and Sanskrit, and it means something like Right Conduct or
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Right Ethics. And I will come to talk about
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why this was important for Buddhism to begin with.
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But in any case, right Conduct, right ethics, Cela lies at the
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basics at the beginning of the Buddhist path, and it addresses
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directly the self feeling and the moods that we have.
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What is the definition of CELA and the Buddhist texts Now?
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As usual in the old Buddhist texts, they're quite pragmatic.
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They're of course philosophical aspects there, but they're
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mostly practical. And the practical definition of
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right conduct and right ethics is that before, during and after
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I act, speak and think I should value and assess if I'm not
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harming myself or not harming others.
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So we have 3 fields of life and three time periods before I act.
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While I act. After I act, I reflect.
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Did I harm myself or did I harm somebody else?
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And the same I do with communication, speaking and my
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thought world, my internal world.
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I can give you an example of how I personally started out to
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practice Buddhism, which is more than 20 years ago.
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I was inspired by these texts especially and I started to
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reflect on how I relate to myself in daily life.
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And one thing that occurred to me I was a student back then.
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One thing that occurred to me is that immediately when I woke up,
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after waking up like in the first minute, I started to think
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about my day's structure, what I have to do, the goals that I
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need to accomplish, the to do's, that I have to check off the
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list and so on. So this was my habitual approach
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to my daily life. Every morning this is what I
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did. And because it was so habitual,
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I was not even paying attention to it anymore.
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But inspired through the Buddhist texts, I started to ask
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myself, okay, how am I actually thinking?
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What am I actually doing? And there's of course an
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awareness aspect there as well. So I realized that this is the
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habit that I have in the mornings.
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I also realized that this kind of thinking, the, you know,
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checking the to do's, assessing how I've done the last day, what
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I need to do the next day, and so on, that this way of thinking
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was not emotionally neutral. It was somewhat distressing in a
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subtle way. I didn't have the habit of being
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self punishing or looking down on myself for not having
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achieved something, but regardless, I woke up and
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started to stress myself out. To put it in simple terms, now
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you might do something very simple, similar actually.
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I think that many people have some sort of habit like that.
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But now imagine if what I'm doing, what I did to myself, I
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would do to my partner. So if I were to wake up in the
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morning, my partner is lying next to me.
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She wakes up and the first thing that I say is I start to bombard
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her with the things that she would have to do this morning
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and throughout the day and what she should not let slip, what
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she missed doing yesterday and how important this or that
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activity is. Of course my girlfriend would be
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upset, and rightly so. This is what I'm doing to
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myself. I'm just not realizing the
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emotional impact that it has because I'm so used of doing it
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to myself. It's become so habitual that I
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don't realize the emotional impact that this very normal, so
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to speak, approach has the effect that it has on me.
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And now you have to keep in mind that this is not one thing that
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we do. So when I'm describing the
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somewhat normal student life that I had back then, this was
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just how I started the day and describing the small kind of
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contribution of distress that I put on myself without knowing
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it. This has an additional cost
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because I'm riding this kind of wave of distress throughout the
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day and I'm adding new aspects on top of that.
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Effectively the outcome of that is a much more significant and
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noticeable self harm and this is something that the Buddhist
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texts advise us to stop doing. I'm harming myself with this way
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of thinking and of course I can bring many more examples of how
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I can harm myself and others in communication in acting.
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I just want to point out again something that is therapy
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relevant. How am I talking to myself?
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Many people want to come to therapy, discover when I asked
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them to observe their thoughts that they're highly self
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critical, that they're putting the self down, they're very
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disappointed by themselves because of high aspirations and
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so forth. And again, without noticing it,
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I have to bring it out. We have to bring it out into
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awareness in the therapeutic process what kind of secondary
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price they pay by that. The intention is not to harm
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themselves. Of course the intention is good.
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They want to remind themselves of the important things that
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they want to do, the goals that they want to achieve, and
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they're merely disappointed and frustrated by not achieving
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those goals. But effectively what is
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happening is that they're creating negative a negative
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self-image, negative feelings, and thus an intuition, a self
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relation that is not appropriate anymore.
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It's off. There's too much self criticism
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in the system, especially when they can perceive it from the
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outside. Okay.
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So when I personally started to implement those Buddhist
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principles of right conduct and right ethics in my life with
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time, because this is a slow process to reprogram my relation
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to my thoughts, my acts, my the activities, the communication
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that I have with the people surrounding me.
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This is a slow process. I will not immediately
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revolutionize myself, feeling and my moods.
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But with time there was a very noticeable effect and I started
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to see how my attitude towards myself started to brighten up.
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I was more aware of creating quality time for myself and
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others when I spent time with them and I became less
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judgmental over time. And this is something that the
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mind definitely benefits from. And now when, as in Buddhism, we
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have an idea plan for very specific self development, self
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development that is based on benevolence is based on good
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conduct that should lead to meditation, then it becomes so
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much clear why the adjustment of the self feeling, the adjustment
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of the moods out of which my daily thoughts and feelings and
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assessments and so forth spring from.
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Why? That is, at the core, the basis
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of the Buddhist practice when we start out.
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And this is exactly also what is off.
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When people develop anxieties, depressions, life issues,
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relationship issues, this is what is off for them.
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Because without knowing it, they have treated themselves badly.
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They have developed habits that are not good for them, not good
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for the people around them and thus created an internal
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monologue, counseling system or gut feeling or intuition that is
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off and without knowing it does not have our best interest at
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heart that follows other more self defiant self-destructive
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ideas. Okay.
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Now as I said about the middle of my talk, there is a goal of
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Buddhism and it uses this self relation, the self feeling, the
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moods to get there. The goal of Buddhism is to
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develop a Peace of Mind that transcends the world.
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This is the high goal that original Buddhism had.
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We don't need to implement that in our life in order to benefit
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from Buddhist practice. But in order to get there there
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was a three-part kind of development that they had in
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mind. It starts with cela, with right
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ethics, right conduct. The next step is samadhi, which
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is meditation. The third step is panya, which
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means wisdom and insight into the deeper aspects of our
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nature, of our mind and thus being able to transcend issues
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on a much more fundamental level so that this transcendental
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Peace of Mind, this sort of liberation or whatever it
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signifies is available and possible.
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And I hope that it became clear how the adjustment of the self
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feeling of the moods in Buddhism is directly feeding into and
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contributing to the next step, which is the meditation the
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Somali. Because what I'm developing in
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my mind when I practice good conduct is a non judgmental, a
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peaceful state of mind that is okay with itself.
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That is after some practice really hesitant to harm itself,
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which develops an intuition that when something is off, when I'm
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in a conversation, for example, I'm starting to become harsh.
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The Peace of Mind that I have practiced so far, it gives me,
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you know, the Spidey senses that okay, something is off.
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I don't feel really good in the way that I communicate right
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now. I see in the reaction on others
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that they don't feel really comfortable and I'm so much
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faster to adjusting it. Same with the thoughts that I
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have within myself. Same with the attitude that I
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have towards myself. Same with the activities that I
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have in our so complex society. So the proper development of
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self, feeling, the proper nourishing of a good mood within
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myself automatically in Buddhism leads to the correct foundation
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for starting the meditation process to begin with.
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And so often as a meditation instructor, when beginners came
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into the meditation group and they expressed the expectations,
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the hopes, why they want to meditate and they started
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meditating and after that they reflected and shared how it went
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down. So often people are bothered by
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the thoughts that come up. Not only that, with the
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frustration that was the reaction to the thoughts being
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coming up and not being able to concentrate and then with the
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self judgment that follows the frustration.
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So people come with a state of mind that is quite chaotic.
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I think many of us can relate to that.
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They're given a meditation instruction.
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It sounds all nice on paper, in the books and the YouTube
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videos. It all makes sense, right?
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But then we sit down, close our eyes.
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We start to concentrate on the breath, a mantra, whatever.
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And then the reality of our mind comes to the foreground, with
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distraction, with stress, with memories, plans.
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And it doesn't. It doesn't let go.
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It doesn't let us do what we set out to do.
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We would like to take a break in this 20 minutes, thirty minutes,
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or an hour of meditation, but our habitual mind doesn't allow
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it. And then people get frustrated.
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This frustration is for someone who is self perceptive.
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For someone who is used to notice if they're harming
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themselves, this frustration would already be visible as some
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sort of self harm. For someone who is well
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practiced. They would recognize it and be
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able to eliminate this frustration, replace it with
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something more positive. Self forgiveness for example.
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Patience, diligence, right intention.
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But the unskilled beginner reacts with frustration as we
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do. And out of this frustration
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comes a self judgment of not I'm not good enough for this or
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this. Meditation is stupid.
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This and structure is stupid. Buddhism.
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I don't know what the fuss is all about.
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So judgment springs out of the frustration because the
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frustration needs to be. It's an unpleasant feeling.
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It's an unpleasant experience of myself, so I want to get rid of
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it. And a normal, habitual way of
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getting rid of frustration is judgment.
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Judging myself, judging others the practice.
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So this is the unskilled development that in many cases
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leads to people starting trying to meditate but then giving up.
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The more I am capable of recognizing what is happening
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within myself in normal life, not in the meditation in normal
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life. This is where we practice.
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The more I have experience with correcting my habitual thoughts
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and attitudes to non harm, which leads to a relation to myself
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that is positive. The more I do that, the more I
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can sit down in meditation, be really curious about what is
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happening, be able to direct my awareness, my intention
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benevolently to the meditation object, whatever that is, and in
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the end, to reap the fruits of this practice.
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Okay, this is it for today. I hope you were interested in my
33:50
reflections. Maybe you took something away
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for your own reflections of reflections on your daily life,
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on yourself, talk, on the communication with others, and
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if you are a beginner in this way of thinking and practicing,
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just take the last bit that I described.
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When frustration comes up, see it as something that is slightly
34:21
self critical, self sabotaging. Replace it with something that
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is more positive. Self forgiveness, diligence,
34:30
patience, and continue to practice in a way that you see
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right, but it's good for yourself, that is good for
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others. If you like, you can leave the
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practice on that level. There's nothing wrong with that.
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If you want to take those insights from higher states of
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mind to the application of just normal life, I think that's
34:54
valuable enough. And if you're motivated, you can
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continue and try some contemplation method of your
35:01
liking, some meditation of your liking to see if it's for you.
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Thank you so much for your attention and I hope to see you
35:08
next time.