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How to Navigate Narcissistic Rage · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
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  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
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  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
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  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, I just want to take a minute to say thank you for tuning in, taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So over the course of the next few episodes, we're gonna revisit some topics around narcissism.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh this just the topic of narcissism, the topic of gaslighting has just seemed to um it's it seems to be more commonplace, or at least I feel as though my clients and I are having a many more conversations around understanding narcissism.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're gonna focus on narcissistic rage, what it is and how to deal with it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have ever witnessed maybe your partner, family member, coworker flying into a rage with the slightest bit of um a slightest trigger, or just it feels like there really isn't an apparent reason at all.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not to say that they're they're going into narcissistic rage, but that could be an indication that there's something happening.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So when we find that people in our lives tend to have a short fuse and we are finding ourselves on high alert all the time, or we feel like we might be walking on eggshells around that specific person, that might indicate that there that there might be an element of narcissistic rage.
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  SPEAKER_00: So understanding narcissistic rage and how to deal with it can help you manage a relationship with a toxic person and just hopefully give you some ideas of how you might be able to protect yourself.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the term narcissistic rage actually first appeared in 1972 when psychoanalyst Heinz Kuut used it to describe a sudden and powerful outburst from narcissists.
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  SPEAKER_00: So what happens is they lose control and explode at even the slightest provocation.
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  SPEAKER_00: And what we found, or what he found, was that sometimes individuals with narcissistic personality disorder may react with anger, aggression, and violence with really no apparent reason whatsoever.
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  SPEAKER_00: Most commonly, a narcissist's rage boils over when they feel hurt or when they feel slighted in some way.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, uh narcissistic rage could occur when maybe you confront the person with words or behaviors that maybe oppose their own self-perception or their own sense of self-importance, and or conversely, maybe you're not treating them with the attention that they would like.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so they feel that they're not getting what they deserve.
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  SPEAKER_00: When we're thinking about narcissistic rage, really truly any kind of boundary, judgment, or criticism could potentially set it off.
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  SPEAKER_00: So even if the complaint is constructive or delivered in the kindest of ways, when you are dealing with somebody with narcissism, that injury to self, that injury to the ego self could result in anger and hostility.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it can really narcissistic rage can actually manifest in two ways.
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  SPEAKER_00: One is explosive rage, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: Where they're yelling, screaming, angry, outbursts, um, it could be f verbal or f and or physical, but there's also passive narcissistic rage.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this is really passive aggression and the silent treatment.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's almost um, it's when there's that hidden resentment or they avoid a certain behavior.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's like the passive aggressive way to um to basically you're going in that this person's going into narcissistic rage, but they're doing it in a very passive aggressive way.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, so behaviors associated with narcissistic rage can um can include physical violence, can include verbal, um, verbal abuse, uh gaslighting is common.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um some narcissists do react with the silent treatment, as I said.
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  SPEAKER_00: So with the passive-aggressive way, they'll almost um try to punish the other person through the through the silent treatment.
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  SPEAKER_00: So really there are two ways that we can look at narcissistic rage.
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  SPEAKER_00: One is the the outburst, and then the other is the passive way to um to get angry with the person.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, in terms of how do we deal with this, the very first thing is to start to understand narcissistic personalities and narcissistic personality disorder.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just learning to understand causes, symptoms, signs, um just helps empower you as the person on the receiving end.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to set boundaries and stick to them, you know, letting this the narcissist in your life know what behavior is acceptable and what's not, and really being confident in yourself that the boundaries that you're setting are for your health and benefit and not allowing the pushback on those boundaries.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, avoiding fueling the narcissist's rage.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's about it's not about walking on eggshells and tiptoeing around them, but it is about if you're in that relationship and you cannot get out of that relationship, trying not to engage certain certain dynamics with the narcissist.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, seeking some professional help.
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  SPEAKER_00: Having somebody support you through the process of dealing with somebody with narcissistic rage is important, and just really giving yourself permission to not be baited into the manipulations of the rage.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because generally speaking, when somebody goes into a narcissistic rage, they're they try to bait you into it and trying to bring you into that fold.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so really holding boundaries with yourself about what you're going to engage in and what you're not, and above all, protecting yourself both emotionally and physically is very, very important when you're dealing with somebody who does have um who exemplifies and has bouts of narcissistic rage.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you are dealing with somebody in your world dealing with toxic relationships and you're trying to work through them or heal from them after leaving maybe a toxic relationship and would like some support with that, by all means, feel free to reach out to me anytime at chatwithcomedy.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, be well.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
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  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authentic me.
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  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.