Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Self Love Mini Series Day 3: Where to Find Self Love

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Self Love Mini Series Day 3: Where to Find Self Love · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:13
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, beautiful people, and welcome to episode three
0:18
Speaker 1: of my mini series on self Love. So on this
0:22
Speaker 1: on today's episode, I want to be focusing on kind
0:25
Speaker 1: of where you can find your self love. There's a
0:28
Speaker 1: whole bunch of points that I've written down that I
0:31
Speaker 1: want to smash through and kind of talk about. They're
0:34
Speaker 1: all over the place, to be honest, but I want
0:36
Speaker 1: you to write these down because every single one of
0:38
Speaker 1: these contributes to helping you find your self love. Because,
0:43
Speaker 1: as you've probably gathered from the last two episodes and
0:45
Speaker 1: just kind of from my content.
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Speaker 2: In general, I am all for self care.
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Speaker 1: Like literally, I'm so fucking here for it, love it.
0:54
Speaker 1: But that is not the thing that's going to determine
0:58
Speaker 1: your level of self love.
0:59
Speaker 2: You could do all the self care.
1:00
Speaker 1: In the world as far as like habitual things like
1:04
Speaker 1: a facial, you know, running a bath and all of that.
1:08
Speaker 1: All of these things are kind of soft actions towards
1:10
Speaker 1: your self love. But when it comes to real self
1:13
Speaker 1: love and finding, you know, ways that you can really
1:17
Speaker 1: love yourself, it comes from more like valuing yourself self worth,
1:24
Speaker 1: interactions with other people, how you put yourself first, how
1:27
Speaker 1: you prioritize yourself that kind of stuff, and then if
1:29
Speaker 1: you can combine the two, then we're in a really
1:32
Speaker 1: fucking good trajectory towards self love, if that makes sense.
1:34
Speaker 1: So I'm a huge supporter of all kinds of self love,
1:38
Speaker 1: but I think that this is the real crux of it.
1:40
Speaker 1: It's like where you stand up for yourself when you
1:43
Speaker 1: look at you take a really good look.
1:44
Speaker 2: At your relationships.
1:46
Speaker 1: You take a really good look at how you talk
1:48
Speaker 1: to yourself about your past, how you perceive your own body.
1:54
Speaker 1: You know, how often you keep a promise that you
1:56
Speaker 1: make to yourself.
1:57
Speaker 2: That kind of stuff.
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Speaker 1: More on a psychological and brain level, I think that's
2:02
Speaker 1: going to be like what really fast tracks and accelerates
2:06
Speaker 1: your journey to self love. So let's fucking start with
2:10
Speaker 1: the first point. If you have a pen, paper, laptop, phone, whatever,
2:14
Speaker 1: jrot these down honestly so you can read over them
2:17
Speaker 1: again and again.
2:18
Speaker 2: So the first one is.
2:22
Speaker 1: Exiting, leaving or not giving airtime to bad relationships. This
2:27
Speaker 1: will reset your self worth. Stepping away from unfulfilling relationships
2:33
Speaker 1: or toxic relationships is proving to your brain that you
2:38
Speaker 1: deserve better. Okay, alone time is where you can really
2:45
Speaker 1: rediscover so much about yourself without the influence of someone else.
2:49
Speaker 1: So what I mean by this is a lot of
2:51
Speaker 1: the time, especially if you're a people pleaser or someone
2:53
Speaker 1: with low self love, you will think that you've got
2:56
Speaker 1: to do everything under the sun to maintain a relationship.
3:01
Speaker 2: Right.
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Speaker 1: And we do this because of old time sake, because
3:04
Speaker 1: we think we're not going to get let's say it's family.
3:07
Speaker 2: We do it because they're fucking family. Right.
3:09
Speaker 1: I've got to do everything in my power to make
3:10
Speaker 1: this relationship work because their family, not because they respect me,
3:13
Speaker 1: not because I feel safe and loved by them, because
3:16
Speaker 1: they're family.
3:17
Speaker 2: I've got to do everything in my power to keep this.
3:19
Speaker 1: Romantic relationship thriving because if I don't have this person,
3:24
Speaker 1: I can't stand being alone. I've got to do everything
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Speaker 1: in my power to stay in this friendship group, even
3:29
Speaker 1: though they humiliate me and laugh at me and up
3:32
Speaker 1: the butterfall jokes, because without them then I'll have no friends.
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Speaker 2: Okay. So we have all these.
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Speaker 1: Narratives that we tell ourselves, but while staying in those relationships,
3:41
Speaker 1: we are saying, I'm only as good.
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Speaker 2: As how I let these people treat me.
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Speaker 1: Okay, And we think that staying in these relationships will
3:49
Speaker 1: make us feel more secure.
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Speaker 2: And it's this.
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Speaker 1: Lie that we feed ourselves again and again, and we
3:53
Speaker 1: go round around in circles, and it's kind of like
3:55
Speaker 1: this snake that eats its own tail and you kind
3:58
Speaker 1: of start drowning. It gets worse and worse and worse
4:02
Speaker 1: each cycle that you go through, because your self respect
4:04
Speaker 1: gets lower, you start putting up with more shit. Then
4:07
Speaker 1: you're less confident to be able to leave that relationship
4:09
Speaker 1: because your self respect is.
4:11
Speaker 2: Lower, and it gets worse and worse. We then tell ourselves.
4:14
Speaker 1: Because we don't respect ourselves, because we don't feel good,
4:17
Speaker 1: because people don't treat us well, because we don't feel fulfilled,
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Speaker 1: we don't feel safe and loved and secure.
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Speaker 2: We then have even less.
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Speaker 1: Chance of going out on our own, whether it be
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Speaker 1: leaving a romantic relationship, a friendship group, or creating a
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Speaker 1: little bit of distance between this unhealthy dynamic in our family.
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Speaker 2: We're way less.
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Speaker 1: Likely to do that because we think, well, the last
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Speaker 1: thing on earth I'm going to do is go out
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Speaker 1: alone and have less friends or no friends and being
4:44
Speaker 1: my own fucking company, which I don't even like. These
4:46
Speaker 1: people don't like my companies, So how am I going
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Speaker 1: to like my company? That's the lie we tell ourselves.
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Speaker 1: But what we don't realize is that is the step,
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Speaker 1: the fucking step that we need to take in order
4:59
Speaker 1: to start feeling like we respect ourselves and feeling better
5:01
Speaker 1: about ourselves. It is a fucking trap. And the moment
5:03
Speaker 1: you rip that band aid off, the moment you realize like.
5:06
Speaker 2: That, the sheet just drops from in front.
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Speaker 1: Of your eyes and you're like, I can see clearly now,
5:12
Speaker 1: you can fucking see clearly. I'm not joking when I
5:16
Speaker 1: say it all drops away, and you'll be amazed at
5:19
Speaker 1: how much clarity you will have. Thinking these people being
5:23
Speaker 1: gone doesn't make me feel worse about myself. I actually
5:26
Speaker 1: feel calmer. I might be temporarily a bit more lonely,
5:30
Speaker 1: but loneliness. You can be surrounded by people and be
5:35
Speaker 1: the most lonely person in the world. Based on the
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Speaker 1: people that you surround yourself with. You could have one
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Speaker 1: good friend and feel like the most secure and loved
5:42
Speaker 1: person on this world, on this earth.
5:44
Speaker 2: Okay, so look.
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Speaker 1: At the unhealthy relationships in your life and do a
5:49
Speaker 1: bit of an inventory.
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Speaker 2: I'm not saying I'm not saying fucking end every relationship
5:53
Speaker 2: right here, right now.
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Speaker 1: But start to ask yourself those questions, is this actually like,
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Speaker 1: do these people respect me?
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Speaker 2: Have I been put up with shit? Have I been?
6:01
Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about dysfunctional relationships here and there
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Speaker 1: or you know, surface level annoying things in people. I'm
6:08
Speaker 1: all for meeting people in the middle and giving a
6:11
Speaker 1: bit of slack when it comes to relationships.
6:13
Speaker 2: So I'm talking about straight up disrespect. Okay.
6:16
Speaker 1: I'm talking about where someone is putting you down to
6:18
Speaker 1: make themselves feel better. That's the kind of stuff that
6:20
Speaker 1: we don't need to be putting up with. Okay, let's
6:22
Speaker 1: move on to the next point because where it is
6:24
Speaker 1: six minutes and I'm like, there's are gonna be fifteen
6:26
Speaker 1: minute episodes, Lol, this one won't be. The next thing
6:31
Speaker 1: is what are we What are we not forgiving ourselves
6:35
Speaker 1: for within our past? Because beating yourself up over an
6:39
Speaker 1: old mistake kills your confidence. Okay, you didn't know a back,
6:45
Speaker 1: you didn't know better back then. Okay, We've got to
6:47
Speaker 1: get better at saying to ourselves I didn't know better
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Speaker 1: back then, okay.
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Speaker 2: Or I didn't have the tools to do.
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Speaker 1: Something about you know, about that situation back then, sitting
7:00
Speaker 1: here and beating myself up about the fact that I
7:02
Speaker 1: didn't do that thing, or that I did do that
7:05
Speaker 1: thing and I went against what I should have done,
7:06
Speaker 1: or that I stayed in that thing too long, or
7:09
Speaker 1: whatever it is. You're just gonna waste more time. You
7:13
Speaker 1: are just wasting more time.
7:15
Speaker 2: Let it go. Take the lesson. Stop chaining your future
7:19
Speaker 2: to your past. Okay.
7:23
Speaker 1: One of the best ways that I think we can
7:26
Speaker 1: move on from mistakes from our past and stop beating
7:29
Speaker 1: ourselves up about it is to say, you know what,
7:32
Speaker 1: instead of this being a useless mistake, how can I
7:35
Speaker 1: turn this into a tool that can help me right?
7:38
Speaker 1: Because a mistake can be valuable if I can do
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Speaker 1: something about it. Okay, So I'm gonna look at that
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Speaker 1: mistake and say, you know what, instead of beating myself up,
7:47
Speaker 1: I'm done. I'm fucking done enough beating myself up. You
7:49
Speaker 1: know you had your fun, It's over. What am I
7:52
Speaker 1: gonna do with this information?
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Speaker 2: What have I learnt?
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Speaker 1: What can I take from this? Is gonna be the
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Speaker 1: fire in my belly to encourage me next time or
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Speaker 1: to motivate me next time. Let's say it was an opportunity.
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Speaker 2: That you didn't take. Brilliant, brilliant.
8:06
Speaker 1: This is going to serve as fuel for me now.
8:09
Speaker 1: So instead of it being something that I now beat
8:10
Speaker 1: myself up about, I can take that and say, you're
8:13
Speaker 1: gonna be fucking useful now, thank you very much. That
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Speaker 1: bad decision that I made in the past is now
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Speaker 1: going to serve me because it's going to be a lesson.
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Speaker 1: It's going to be at the forefront when I'm going
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Speaker 1: to make the next big decision and say, I know
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Speaker 1: exactly how I don't want to feel next time. Thank
8:26
Speaker 1: you so much for that lesson. I'm going to use that.
8:28
Speaker 1: I'm going to apply that, and that's going to be
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Speaker 1: my motivated that's going to be my driving force. I
8:33
Speaker 1: have used that personally so many times, and it has
8:35
Speaker 1: made me actually like the mistakes of my past because
8:39
Speaker 1: they've become such good teachers for me. But if I
8:42
Speaker 1: was to sit here and look at all the bad
8:44
Speaker 1: business decisions, are all the bad relationship decisions, and there's
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Speaker 1: been a fucking few in my time that I've made,
8:50
Speaker 1: I'm talking like big, big mistakes for oh, not even'm
8:55
Speaker 1: gonna go into it. But anyway, if I just beat
8:58
Speaker 1: myself up about those things. Then I would lose creativity.
9:01
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't be as driven in certain things. I
9:03
Speaker 1: would like in confidence big time, and because I'm always
9:06
Speaker 1: beating myself up about it, but instead I think, Wow,
9:09
Speaker 1: that was an expensive lesson. So because that was an
9:13
Speaker 1: expensive lesson, let's do something about it. Let's make the
9:16
Speaker 1: most of that thing that cost me a lot. And
9:19
Speaker 1: it's a driver, it's very motivating, it's actually ends up
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Speaker 1: being useful. And then you like the journey that you've
9:25
Speaker 1: been on. You weirdly like you don't love that you
9:28
Speaker 1: missed out on things or that you know it didn't
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Speaker 1: serve you, but you really like how it's formed you
9:34
Speaker 1: into the next person you're going to become. Okay, So
9:37
Speaker 1: forgiving your past self and not beating yourself up of
9:40
Speaker 1: old mistakes is going to make you start to really
9:43
Speaker 1: respect yourself more. You're going to say, we're all in
9:45
Speaker 1: this together. Every cunt under the sun that I look
9:48
Speaker 1: at has something that they've beaten themselves up about in
9:51
Speaker 1: the past or that they really really and if they don't,
9:54
Speaker 1: then they've lived a very bland life. And I honestly
9:57
Speaker 1: don't know what's worse to be honest. Sense sense next one,
10:08
Speaker 1: Next point.
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Speaker 2: Body respect.
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Speaker 1: Let's talk about how you talk about your own body
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Speaker 1: to yourself. Okay, body respect, respect okayword will come before
10:21
Speaker 1: loving your body.
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Speaker 2: You don't have to adore.
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Speaker 1: Every inch of your fucking body, every inch of yourself
10:27
Speaker 1: overnight in order to feel good about who you are.
10:31
Speaker 1: But what you do need to do is you need
10:33
Speaker 1: to start treating your body and yourself with patience and
10:36
Speaker 1: with protection.
10:37
Speaker 2: Okay.
10:38
Speaker 1: Respect creates the foundation for true self love. There's many
10:43
Speaker 1: things about my life physically, emotionally, mentally, as far as
10:48
Speaker 1: my productivity. There's many things that I want to improve.
10:52
Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean that until those things are improved,
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Speaker 1: I can't love myself. I already have the foundation of
10:58
Speaker 1: respecting myself, even and if it's not exactly where I
11:01
Speaker 1: want it to be.
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Speaker 2: Okay, And that's how you want to look at your life.
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Speaker 2: You've got to look at your body.
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Speaker 1: You're like where you are with your intelligence, with your mind,
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Speaker 1: as I need to have a foundation of respect you
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Speaker 1: because only when I respect can I start to feel
11:14
Speaker 1: calmer and safer.
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Speaker 2: So what can you do today to really respect your body?
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Speaker 2: Is it how you treat it?
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Speaker 1: Is it what you put in it, how you move it,
11:25
Speaker 1: how you speak to it.
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Speaker 2: You decide. It could be a combination of all of
11:29
Speaker 2: those things.
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Speaker 1: But if you start looking at your body saying you
11:32
Speaker 1: are the versel that fucking gets me through day to day,
11:36
Speaker 1: even when I treat you like shit, You're there for me.
11:39
Speaker 1: You get me up in the morning, you sleep at night,
11:42
Speaker 1: you consolidate my memories, you know, do all the recovery in.
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Speaker 2: The brain at night.
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Speaker 1: Like you are fucking there for me when I treat
11:49
Speaker 1: you like fucking shit and when I talk to you
11:51
Speaker 1: like shit. So we're gonna turn that around. I'm gonna
11:53
Speaker 1: start respecting my body. Okay, you don't have to.
11:55
Speaker 2: Be like I'm so hot, I'm so amazed that.
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Speaker 1: I mean, hopefully, I love that for you. But it
12:00
Speaker 1: doesn't even have to be that. You don't have to
12:02
Speaker 1: be like I have to love every inch of myself
12:04
Speaker 1: in order to respect myself. It goes the other way, Okay,
12:07
Speaker 1: So we're going to turn that order around. The next
12:11
Speaker 1: point is make a promise to yourself and one that
12:17
Speaker 1: you will keep.
12:18
Speaker 2: So if you if this means that you've got to.
12:20
Speaker 1: Start small, start fucking small, I would much rather much
12:25
Speaker 1: any fucking day for the week. By the way, I
12:27
Speaker 1: would much rather you do the smallest promise that seems
12:31
Speaker 1: insignificant to other people to yourself, as long as you're
12:33
Speaker 1: going to follow through.
12:34
Speaker 2: Follow through, okay.
12:37
Speaker 1: Is what is going to build on self respect, and
12:40
Speaker 1: self respect will build on self love.
12:43
Speaker 2: Okay.
12:43
Speaker 1: So what is a promise that you can make to
12:45
Speaker 1: yourself that you for sure are going to keep?
12:48
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, let's say it is.
12:52
Speaker 1: I'm going to fucking put my sneakers on before anything,
12:55
Speaker 1: before breakfast, before my coffee of the day, and I'm
12:58
Speaker 1: going to walk around the block. I'm walking around the block,
13:01
Speaker 1: and it's just because I need to get outside. This
13:04
Speaker 1: is a two minute exercise. I need to get outside.
13:06
Speaker 1: I want fresh air, I want sunlight in my eyes.
13:08
Speaker 1: I want to shake up my routine. I don't want
13:10
Speaker 1: to be on my devices and I don't want to
13:11
Speaker 1: have my neck hunched over like a question mark, you know,
13:15
Speaker 1: hunching over my phone as a way of starting my day.
13:18
Speaker 1: And this is a very easy promise to maintain because
13:21
Speaker 1: you're not saying I've got to go for a killing
13:22
Speaker 1: me a walk. You're not saying I've got to be
13:24
Speaker 1: out for thirty minutes. It's just around the block. The
13:27
Speaker 1: beauty of that is you can do it. Grab an umbrella.
13:29
Speaker 1: If it's raining, you're literally walking around the block. And
13:32
Speaker 1: if your block is enormous, then have a landmark that
13:34
Speaker 1: you walk to and walk back. Make it like a
13:37
Speaker 1: three to five minute exercise. Your shoes are out the door,
13:40
Speaker 1: your outfit is ready to go. You're doing that every
13:42
Speaker 1: single morning, okay for a week. You've now made that
13:46
Speaker 1: promise to you. How good that feels.
13:48
Speaker 2: And it's not about oh.
13:49
Speaker 1: I had to do one hundred sit ups I had
13:50
Speaker 1: to do No, no, no, it's just I promised that
13:53
Speaker 1: i'd do something, and I did it for me. I
13:55
Speaker 1: did it because it mattered to me, and I don't
13:58
Speaker 1: care if it doesn't matter to anyone else. The other
14:00
Speaker 1: thing could be not being on your phone for the
14:02
Speaker 1: first hour of the day. The other thing could be
14:04
Speaker 1: I'm going to text one friend something meaningful every day
14:08
Speaker 1: for the next seven days.
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Speaker 2: Anything that you will fucking stick to.
14:13
Speaker 1: Because the point is at the end of the day,
14:15
Speaker 1: or at the end of the three days or seven days,
14:17
Speaker 1: whatever you set as this promise to yourself, you can
14:21
Speaker 1: look back and say you know what, I actually followed
14:23
Speaker 1: through on that thing, and it's not going to matter
14:26
Speaker 1: how small that thing was. It was that you followed
14:28
Speaker 1: through on something that you don't normally do, but this
14:31
Speaker 1: time you did it for yourself.
14:32
Speaker 2: Okay.
14:34
Speaker 1: The next one is get comfortable being alone. If you
14:38
Speaker 1: can't sit with yourself, then you're more likely to tolerate
14:43
Speaker 1: bad friendships and bad relationships. Kind of like the first
14:46
Speaker 1: point that I was talking about, which is the importance
14:49
Speaker 1: of leaving fucking unhealthy in you know, mean relationships, This idea,
14:55
Speaker 1: this ability to sit with yourself, it's going to and
15:00
Speaker 1: a lot of you are thinking, well, you don't know
15:02
Speaker 1: what my head noise is like, and it's pretty fucking bad.
15:05
Speaker 1: And this is your default mode network that we're talking about.
15:07
Speaker 1: Your default mode network is that background player that runs
15:12
Speaker 1: in our subconscious mind when we're not heavily engaged in
15:15
Speaker 1: a highly focused task.
15:17
Speaker 2: That is your default mode network.
15:19
Speaker 1: Okay, and a lot of us will sit for a
15:22
Speaker 1: little bit with our default mode network and be like, oh,
15:24
Speaker 1: never again. That was so like, I'm so I hate
15:28
Speaker 1: my thoughts, I hate what I have to hear.
15:31
Speaker 2: I'm not here for it.
15:32
Speaker 1: Okay, So then, of course naturally, You're like, well, now
15:35
Speaker 1: I need to distract myself all the time. Now I
15:37
Speaker 1: need to be around people all the time, or on
15:39
Speaker 1: my phone or watching TV. I just can't be with
15:41
Speaker 1: my thoughts alone. Okay, but what I can tell you
15:44
Speaker 1: is that the first time, it's going to be very
15:47
Speaker 1: loud head noise because.
15:47
Speaker 2: You're not used to it.
15:48
Speaker 1: You're not used to listening to yourself and to your
15:51
Speaker 1: needs and to your to you know yourself right. The
15:55
Speaker 1: second time fucking shit as well. The third time, a
15:59
Speaker 1: little bit better the fourth time, And then you start
16:01
Speaker 1: paying attention, and that head noise starts to soften. It
16:05
Speaker 1: starts to soften, it starts to soften, and instead of
16:08
Speaker 1: it being this unavoidable thing, you start listening like, oh, interesting,
16:12
Speaker 1: Like interesting that I perceived that that way, or interesting
16:15
Speaker 1: that that's where my thoughts go. You start being more
16:18
Speaker 1: interested in where your head is at. And then you
16:21
Speaker 1: start to learn from yourself. I noticed that most my.
16:23
Speaker 2: Thoughts are quite fearful. That's interesting. Now I can learn
16:26
Speaker 2: how to rewrite those thoughts.
16:28
Speaker 1: I noticed that a lot of the things that I
16:30
Speaker 1: think about are fears about the future, or I'm rehashing
16:34
Speaker 1: and kind of spiraling about the past.
16:36
Speaker 2: And then you start to learn more and more and more,
16:38
Speaker 2: and then those.
16:39
Speaker 1: Thoughts start to relax when you become at peace with
16:42
Speaker 1: this kind of you know, being in your own company.
16:46
Speaker 2: Okay.
16:47
Speaker 1: Once you can do that, then you can start to
16:50
Speaker 1: enjoy your own company.
16:51
Speaker 2: Right.
16:52
Speaker 1: So this solo time sharpens your standards for time with
16:58
Speaker 1: other people, and it builds it's kind of self trust
17:01
Speaker 1: because if you can start to be like, you know what,
17:02
Speaker 1: I'm actually okay with myself, whether I'm sitting with my
17:05
Speaker 1: thoughts or whether I'm just cooking a meal alone, or
17:07
Speaker 1: whether I'm going on a walk alone, listening to a podcast,
17:09
Speaker 1: reading a book, I actually now genuinely am starting to
17:13
Speaker 1: like my own company. The key, the key to healthy
17:17
Speaker 1: relationships number one more than anything else, anything else that
17:21
Speaker 1: I can tell you, is to have a strong foundation
17:26
Speaker 1: of a solid relationship with yourself.
17:29
Speaker 2: Okay.
17:30
Speaker 1: So when you have that, then it sets the standard
17:33
Speaker 1: for every other relationship within your life. You your relationship
17:37
Speaker 1: with yourself determines the minimum viable standard for your other relationships.
17:45
Speaker 1: Because if it's good and someone treats you like shit,
17:48
Speaker 1: you think, why would I why the fuck would I
17:50
Speaker 1: hang out with you when I can be alone. I
17:51
Speaker 1: actually quite enjoy my company alone. But if you hate
17:54
Speaker 1: your company alone, you're like, I'll take it.
17:55
Speaker 2: I can get one.
17:56
Speaker 1: I'll take what I can get, and it will be
17:58
Speaker 1: the dregs of humanity. I can and guarantee you that
18:01
Speaker 1: next point, throw yourself into something that you love doing.
18:06
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be attached to a purpose. It
18:08
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be attached to income or a business
18:11
Speaker 1: or monetizing something or now we've got it like you no, no, no, no, no,
18:14
Speaker 1: Just something basic, fun, hobby, a passion that feeds self
18:20
Speaker 1: love because it proves that you are worth dedicating time
18:23
Speaker 1: and energy to doing that thing. Okay, it's just something
18:27
Speaker 1: that lights you up. Don't make it deep, don't make
18:29
Speaker 1: it something so.
18:30
Speaker 2: Hectic and intense. Just something that lights you up and
18:33
Speaker 2: makes you feel good about yourself.
18:35
Speaker 1: Are you going to start drawing on your iPad? Are
18:38
Speaker 1: you going to start reading, you know, sexual fantasy novels
18:43
Speaker 1: every afternoon, whatever.
18:45
Speaker 2: The fuck it is.
18:46
Speaker 1: Just throw yourself into something fun where it is literally
18:49
Speaker 1: like a little holiday for your mind, where you know,
18:51
Speaker 1: like with when I used to do sewing, I really
18:53
Speaker 1: need to get back into it. But anyway, where like
18:56
Speaker 1: time could just hours and hours and hours could pass
18:59
Speaker 1: and I would feel just really really good doing it
19:01
Speaker 1: because I was so invested in this thing and it
19:03
Speaker 1: felt good. It was feeding my soul. What are things
19:06
Speaker 1: that you can do that help feed your soul? Okay,
19:11
Speaker 1: the next one is understand that everything that you are
19:17
Speaker 1: chasing can already exist within you. That is love, safety, validation, understanding, security.
19:29
Speaker 1: You can give that to yourself first.
19:33
Speaker 2: Right, might not feel like it right now.
19:37
Speaker 1: But as you start working through all of these points,
19:39
Speaker 1: you can give all those things to yourself, and once
19:41
Speaker 1: you do, you stop desperately.
19:44
Speaker 2: Seeking it from others.
19:45
Speaker 1: And ironically, when you're someone that gives that to yourself,
19:48
Speaker 1: people identify that and want to give that to you
19:52
Speaker 1: more Ironically, you then end up attracting more kinds of
19:56
Speaker 1: relationships like that because people that are willing to give
19:59
Speaker 1: that gravitate to people that are already giving themselves that. Right,
20:03
Speaker 1: just like we like to gravitate to people that are
20:05
Speaker 1: really comfortable in their own skin, that are secure, that
20:08
Speaker 1: are calm, happy, kind people, We're more likely to want
20:11
Speaker 1: to gravitate to those people than narcissistic people that are
20:14
Speaker 1: on the attack.
20:15
Speaker 2: All the time that feel unstable and unsteady, So we
20:18
Speaker 2: know what it feels like.
20:20
Speaker 1: Right as far as being attracted to other people, and
20:23
Speaker 1: when I talk about attracted, it's not just sexual attraction,
20:26
Speaker 1: it's this attractive magnetic energy. Okay, so that is the
20:30
Speaker 1: episode of today. I'll quickly glide over those points we've got.
20:36
Speaker 1: Leaving bad relationships will help reset yourself worth. Stop beating
20:40
Speaker 1: yourself up over old mistakes, because that's going to kill
20:42
Speaker 1: your confidence. We're going to start to take those mistakes
20:45
Speaker 1: and use them as a very useful lesson. Body respect
20:49
Speaker 1: comes before body love. So what can we do to
20:51
Speaker 1: start respecting ourselves a bit more? What narratives can we change?
20:56
Speaker 1: Make a promise to yourself, and one that you're going
20:58
Speaker 1: to keep. I don't care how small it is, but
21:00
Speaker 1: make that promise now today. That is your homework for today.
21:03
Speaker 1: Get comfortable with being alone. Enjoying your own company will
21:08
Speaker 1: sharpen your standards. And then throwing yourself into something that
21:13
Speaker 1: you love where time could pass and you just you know,
21:16
Speaker 1: you literally sink into this.
21:18
Speaker 2: Thing and it feels so good.
21:19
Speaker 1: And then understand that most of the things that you
21:22
Speaker 1: were chasing already exists within you. So how much of
21:26
Speaker 1: the things that I'm seeking and other people can I
21:27
Speaker 1: start providing for myself validation, love, safety, understanding, compassion, security,
21:34
Speaker 1: all of those things.
21:35
Speaker 2: Guys.
21:36
Speaker 1: That is Day three of the Self Love Miniseries. Please
21:41
Speaker 1: tune in today, four and five, tomorrow, and Friday. And
21:44
Speaker 1: I really hope that you're enjoying this miniseries because I
21:47
Speaker 1: love doing that.
21:48
Speaker 2: That is all for today.
21:49
Speaker 1: As always, remember be kind to yourself, be kind to
21:51
Speaker 1: your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
21:54
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself. Dunk