Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Popping The Question with Amy & T.J.

Transcript

Popping The Question with Amy & T.J. · I Do, Part 2

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hello everyone.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm Amy Romo and I'm TJ. Holmes. I just said
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: you start this one, and that's what you start with.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Just I thought you had a big laid out intro.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Just let me know who they're hearing.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm TJ. Holmes. Now I gotta keep going.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: No, I can continue. Now. We are two of your hosts,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: and I do part two. Hopefully maybe you know us
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: from our other podcast, Amy and TJ. And maybe you're
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: listening to our daily podcast, The Morning Run.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, we got a lot, but this one's been fun,
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: and this is this might be the one where we
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: have the most experience in talking about. This is the
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: one we're experts in. But I do part two. It's
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: been a fun podcast. We've been a part of helping
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: people find love if they didn't get it right the
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: first or second or even third time around. That's what
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: we're here for. We're gonna have a little fun in
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: this one.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's right. We're gonna ask each other some questions
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: and hopefully you all can ask yourself these questions, maybe
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: your significant other or the person you're dating. This is
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: just a fun kind of pop quiz where it gets
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: people thinking about what you like what you don't, so
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I'll start.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, and we have these in front of us, but
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: we purposely did not look through the questions ahead of time,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: so we actually don't know what's coming. So go right ahead.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: These are for the producers of I Do Part two.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So let's just take a great blind stab at this.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: If a woman is dating someone who only texts her
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: late at night to hang out, but she's wanting a relationship,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: what should she say or do to get her point
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: across without scaring the guy off.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Nothing. You do not need to I say this to
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: my female friends all the time. Do not cater to
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: someone who is showing you what he thinks about you
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: in the time he wants to spend. It's not that difficult.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: A guy is texting you late at night, you're not
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: getting what you want, be willing to walk scare him
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: off by You're the one that should be scared off.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: You should be scared by his behavior. So I'm not
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: a big fan, certainly when it comes to adults. You've
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: heard me say this to female friends. You're a grown
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: ass woman. Grown you ain't got time. Your biological clock
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: is ticking according to you, so why are you wasting
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: time with someone who is clearly showing you what he
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: thinks about you and this relationship.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, so this might be an extreme thing, but my
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: mom always told me this. She said, if a man
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: wants to be with you, he will walk across water
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: to be with you. If a man is only calling
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: you at eleven PM or at two am for yes,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a booty call, that's what he thinks of you, and
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: that's what he wants from you, and you're not going
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to change his mind. So I don't think. I think
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: sometimes us women think we can change a guy, or
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: we can get him to like us, or we can
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: play enough games.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: How does that work out?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: It doesn't work out because I just you, and you know,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: deep down, you know when you're getting these late night
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: phone calls, you're not getting the attention that you deserve
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, in a real relationship with all of
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the things you're hoping for, including a lifelong partner. That's
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: not what a lifelong partner does. And sometimes just about
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: being honest with yourself. I don't think you can change, manipulate,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: or control that situation. You want to accept it.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: You're an adult. Ask one time, say I noticed you've
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: been only text me late at night. You can ask why,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: what are you expecting? How would you like to move?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: You ask it one time, It's okay, but.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: You already know the answer. You do if you have
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: to ask.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: It, I agree with you. But if you want to
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: give it the shot that you want, at least ask
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: so you'll know and move, it's okay to move on.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I say this often times about guys. I'm not going
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: to say that. Okay. Actually, now you've heard me say
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: it before. Cats in here all right? Next up, rods.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: When you're dating someone new, when should you have the
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: what are we? Conversation? When do guys know they want
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: to make someone their girlfriend? When do women know? So?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: In the first part of that, when should you have
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: the what are we? Conversations?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Hmmm? I think once you know you've developed strong feelings
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: for someone and you want something more, I think that's
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: when you say hey, And I think this is when
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: you be vulnerable. It's okay to be vulnerable because if
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: you're afraid to hear the answer, it's better to know
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: it now than six months from now or a year
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: from now. I'd rather know so when I've developed or
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: when you've developed strong feelings for somebody and you want
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: to take it to the next level. Instead of saying
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: what are we say, Hey, I don't know if you're
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: feeling the same way I do, but I would like
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: to be serious with you. I would like for us
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: to be exclusive and take that step. That's what I
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: would suggest.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, anything short of first day, I mean not going
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: to first day. No, Hey, that's a lot. Where are
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: we going now? Obviously you're not going to do that,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: but anytime you feel comfortable doing so, anytime you are ready,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: and if you don't know the moment you don't know,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: ask would be my suggestion. If most of the time
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: we are not confused about what's happening and what's going on,
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: then you eventually have a question about I wonder if
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: they're dating anybody else. I wonder if they're seeing anybody else.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: You have got to ask that question as soon as
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: you're unsure, is what I would wait.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: We asked we have that conversation. Well, obviously we had
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: been friends for eight years, but once we decided to
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: start seeing each other as more than friends, I flat
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: out said to you right away, and by the way,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: because of our relationship, because of our history, I'm not
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: going into this relationship with you just dating you casually,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: So if you're not okay with that, then we should
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: probably just stay friends. And I think it's important if
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: you know, I think it's important to state it well.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I think it's so funny that you you're it's that
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: and it's that significant of a moment in a relationship
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: that I remember we were at blooms Bar. I remember
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: the table we were sitting in Midtown when the conversation happened.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I remember the setting. I remember this it because I
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: remember being a little nervous saying it, but knowing that
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I needed to say it. I I just am a
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: firm believer. If you know how you feel, you should
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: say it, and if you know what you want, you
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: should say it. Okay, So around the same on the
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: same page with that, all right? When a relationship ends?
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry I missed the other two. When you
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: guys know they want to make someone their girlfriend? And
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: when do women know? When do god know?
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: There's no from Okay, you say, when do guys.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Know they want to make someone their girlfriend? That just varies,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: and oftentimes a guy will not make someone his girlfriend
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: until he's been forced to make that decision.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Right, that's not a good thing.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's a good thing. You would like
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: for the guy to, you know, take that up on
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: him on his own, without being nudged or it being suggested.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: But sometimes you got to get the clarity and it's
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: okay to ask. And sometimes the guy doesn't realize where
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: the woman is in the relationship. It's just the conversation
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: that has to take place. But that's not some magical
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: moment where a guy will turn that page. But sometimes
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: you have to make the guy because if he has
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: a right, he's dating this woman, that woman, that woman,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: and one of the women he's dating is not complaining.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Everything seems to be fine. Text her eleven o'clock. She responds,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: she lets me come. We don't have to go to lunch.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I get to see you this weekend after football. Why
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: would I let go? Why would I mess that up?
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: If she's not even complaining about it. So you have
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: to be clear with the guy. Sometimes, I would argue,
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: although there's plenty of guys out there who meet someone
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: in the looking for a relationship and they want to
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: be in an exclusive relationship. There are plenty of that
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: out there, but sometimes you got to force a guy's hands.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Well, what did you think when I said that to you?
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: By the way, I was relieved, but we were in
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: a different place in our lives. I was relieved, glad
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: to hear it. I'm like, okay, cool. That wasn't a
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: difficult conversa.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it was. It was just kind of like,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: just to be sure, let's just say this out loud,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: so we're both on the same page.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: And that was huge for us. Yes, and got out
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: of the way, and here we are.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: And in terms of when women know, I think the
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: moment I know that I don't want the guy I'm
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: seeing to see anyone else. That then I know, you know,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I think if I know and I don't want to
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: see any one else, I'm not still curious. I know
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I want to be this person. It's just it's just
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: something that's I don't think it's intangible. I couldn't put
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: a timeline on it. I couldn't put a moment on it.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: You just feel like I want to be around this person.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: In fact, I never don't want to be around this person,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: you know. Anyway, that would be the best way I
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: could describe. Okay, next question. When a relationship ends, should
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: you keep the things your ex gave you or get
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: rid of them?
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: That's that's personal choice. But if it's a wildly expensive item,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: hold on to it. Otherwise I just steh, just just
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: skin it out of the house. I mean, just don't
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: want to look at it, don't want to say it's
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: just and some people don't mind it. It's not a
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: big deal and it doesn't matter if the relationship ended
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: well or not so well. It's just you just want
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: to clear things out.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I'm a big believer that those items that have been
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: given to you by someone else who you're no longer with,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: they carry memories and feelings and they end up weighing
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: you down. So I'm a big believer. I've actually gifted
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: it and said, hey, this is something that's of value,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: and you know, would you like my daughters or like? So, yes,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I don't like hanging onto that stuff. I do not
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: like hanging onto it. But again it's a personal choice.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I don't think anyone should or shouldn't do it. I
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: just I get rid of it.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Here we are, the holidays are upon us. How long
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: should you be dating someone before inviting and inviting them
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: to the holidays with family.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I think it's I don't think there's a timeline again.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: I think it's when you know that's the person who
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: you are exclusively dating, and you are actually excited about
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: introducing your family to them. I mean, I think you
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: have to say, I think this person potentially could become
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: a part of our family. I wouldn't just bring anybody
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: to meet my family.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: But anybody. What if is there a time range that
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: we've only been made dating two months, but we're exclusive.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think you can put a timeline on it.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: How about you?
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I think it depends on the family. I think it does.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I think you could read your family if these are
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: folks who would be open and welcoming and fun to
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: whoever comes in, and they don't care who it is.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I don't care how long are you going to be together,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Just good folks, and they'll welcome in other good folks.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: The other part of it is your family might be
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: very You might not want to put your mate through
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: your family. I get any time you ain't ready for
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: these folks here.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: That's absolutely I get that that's true. All right, we
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: just learned this term. I'm looking at it it's cuffing season.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering if the listeners out there know what it is.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: But we actually have a definition here. It's defined as
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: the time of year when single people actively search for
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: short term romantic Oh, short term, I didn't know, short
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: term romantic partners to spend the colder months with, typically
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: from October through March, culminating with Valentine's Day. Cuff obviously
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: alluding to handcuffs attaching oneself to another individual. It's not sexual,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: we're joined.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Right, that's romantic. Right, let's cuff ourselves to.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: The I feel like it's like body warmth or something
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: like we need body heat for the colder months or something.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: But anyway, we've heard, we're familiar with this segment of
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: the calendar, if you will. Holidays are coming up. People
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: want to be booed up. You got New Year's coming,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: people want to be booed up. Then you got Valentine's
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Day coming, people want to be booed up. After that,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: you've served your purpose. We can go our separate ways.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: It's not girl summer coming.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Up, right, But I didn't know it was called I
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: didn't know it had that.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Cuffing season, all right, So The question is what things
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: should our single listeners be taking into consideration if they
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: are thinking about rekindling with their ex right.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Now, remember why they're your ex. Period.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: That is exactly what I was going to say. Okay,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: we're good with that.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Remember why they are your ex, and that should guide you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know you are you are actively searching
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: for a short term partner. That's just a night out
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: at the club.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I mean it, yes, but it could be like revisited
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: arguments and the imagine all the baggage that comes with
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: looking or revisiting your ex again. There is a reason
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: you broke up, all right, I think we can move
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: on to the next question.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I when a relationship or a marriage ends and you
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: didn't have children together, should you maintain a connection with
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: your ex's family. My answer starts with hell and it
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: ends with no.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I mean yes, I yes, that has been that has
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: been my experience. But I would say sometimes people develop
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: a really wonderful relationship with, you know, the sister that
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: they never had, or they found a mom figure. I
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: would never have been in that camp, but I can
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: imagine there would be a situation in which that would
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: be Okay, it just feels a little bit strange.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Didn't you just give an answer about getting rid of
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: stuff that she X gave you? So get rid of
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: the sweato, but keep the system it also, I.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Will say this, it also would feel annoying to me.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say this with my family. If an
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: X was constantly trying to keep relationships alive with my
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: family members, I would be curious as to why were
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: they trying to get back or stay in the It
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: would feel a little intrusive and a little invasive if
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: you were the person whose family your ex was trying
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: to maintain or keep a relationship with.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: That's a good point.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: It feels a little wird, all right. Do you think
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: a relationship can last if people have opposing political views?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Obviously, James Carville and his wife, we're doing just fine, exactly,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: of course you can. I guess it makes some of
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: those family dinners a little more difficult. But we talk
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: about having the same sense of humor, liking to do
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: the same things, having the same backgrounds, parenting the same way.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: You got to have so many things that it helps
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: to have similar ways of thinking in a larger a
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: lot of major areas, you could be a saver and
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I'm a spender. You know that makes a difference, So
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: why wouldn't political views also make a difference. I think
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: it can have a huge impact. But of course you
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: can overcome You.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Can overcome it if you respect one another. And I
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: think maybe that's the big distinguishing factor. If you don't
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: respect someone, any type of difference is not going to
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: end well. So I think if you have a foundation
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: of respect, you can actually maybe even look at your
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: partners opposing views and take them in and maybe just
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: keep an open mind about a lot of things. I
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: know that in terms of even family members who have
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: opposing political views, it constantly keeps you thinking and rethinking.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: You know what. It's so easy to point fingers at
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: the other side, but it's an opportunity maybe to allow
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: other opinions to exist. Again, the respect has to be
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: there though.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: All right, this next question here, I guess I'm supposed
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: to answer this, or maybe it can go both ways.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Here do men get self conscious about their bodies like
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: women do before having sex with someone new?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I believe that's something only you can answer.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, it says because we do. Okay, but it assumed.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Why is it just an assumption that women do and
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: not the assumption that men do.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: I think. I mean, obviously there are outliers, and generalizations
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: aren't always good because there's going to be some and
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: who doesn't fit the bill. But I think it's fair
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: to say as a woman, who, yes, people get divorced
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: or they break up and they go to the gym,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: you know you you know I you definitely start thinking,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: WHOA now my body is not you know, this is
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: going to be something seen by someone who I don't
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: know that well, who I'm going to want to impress.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: And yeah, we definitely get self conscious. I do. I did.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: We had the conversation, Yeah, we did that. Yeah, because
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: as friends, it was a weird thing to think about it, right.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: I was like we were talking about because we were friends
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: and we were discussing our relationship but we had not
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: been physical, and we talked about you know, how that
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: was going to feel. And I definitely felt insecure.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Okay. I remember now a ridiculous story along these lines
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: that as much as self conscious as we were, as
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: comfortable and as we were with each other, and you
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: talk about self conscious about bodies before our relationship turned
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: into what it is, and we got anywhere close to this.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: There was a time we had to run to the
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: studio in Times Square and then we had to shower
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: there right to get ready for the day. There was
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: something we did in the morning, so we had to
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: shower there. There was only one bar soap, and I
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: was so disgusted at the idea of sharing a bar
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: of soap with.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: You, I mean with friends and colleagues. That is kind
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: of gross.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: But to this question about self, to think that I
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: was that ill, like I was that like I didn't
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: we were at that point, and then we got to
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: a point where we are talking about I mean the
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: things we do now we were, We've done really gross.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I've seen you vomit for miles during a marathon. I
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: have seen stuff in the bathroom.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I never once see its ward for you, all kinds
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: of nasty, nasty, nasty stuff.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: So yet self conscious. I think it's natural for anybody,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: and for men. I don't know why that would be.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: We would be an exception that oftentimes I can't remember
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: which comedian and he referred to it this way. It's
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: always you, always nervous when you're going to see the
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: other person's cash and prizes for the first time. It's
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: not this is kind of a big deal. So yes,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: men get self conscious about it about their bodies, of
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: course they do.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, next question, do you know what each other's love
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: language is? We've had this conversation plenty.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: And I never can remember what they are, but they
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service,
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: physical touch. There were I think we had two each.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, mine.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, mine is definitely what was it? I think it's
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: quality time and words of affirmation.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's what I would have guessed for you. And
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: I even said, this is so interesting because my relationship
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: with you, my love language, what I want and need
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: is different than what I used to think of myself.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: So mine is quality time and physical touch because normally
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I it's an acts of service. But that's a given
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: with us, like in terms of modes of operation, we
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: both kind of operate like that. You absolutely, without even thinking,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: are on the acts of service and I am too.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: So I don't have to ask that of you or
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: want that from you, because it's just a given.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: And you say physical Touchdow, and you say this all
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: the time. It doesn't matter how heated of a disagreement
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: we could be having if I just reach over and
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: put my hand on your leg or grab your hand.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, immediate like relaxation, like okay, we're gonna
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: be okay.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And it's the last thing I want.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: But when you do it, it makes such a big
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: difference off me.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Get away from me. You mean this is an interesting
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: one for me. If someone still follows their X on
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: social media? What does that mean? Do men and women
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: view this differently?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Uh? That wouldn't bother me. That's like, it's funny. I
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: know people get really upset about who follows whom on
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: social media. I have no Oh you don't follow anybody?
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Wait, good point, but this is an issue.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: But if you did, I don't know. I feel like
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: if you're worried about that, you have bigger issues to.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Your point about earlier. If you're trying to rid your
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: life with this person, why do you want to see
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: updates about your ex? That's true, call text. Oh you
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: don't want to call the text, but you want to
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: follow on social media doing something more publicly.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, now that you say it like that, I get that,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: But I just think that that's just maybe a symptom
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: of a larger issue.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Which would be what, what's the larger issue.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: That they still are hung up on their X? Maybe yeah, I.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: Think it's it's feels sometimes like a lack of respect
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: and you feel as the partner you don't want to
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: have to ask, ask your mate, ask your spouse. Will
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: you please stop following your ex? You shouldn't be put
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: in that position.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I agree. If you are getting married for the second time,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: this is funny. Should you have a gift registry or
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: a honeymoon fund? I think it depends on where you
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: are in your life. I mean, you could have had
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: a very early marriage and it could have been quick,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: and you are still getting back up on your feet.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: You get remarried and now you're starting a family and
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: you need more things. So I don't think anyone could
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: say it just absolutely depends on where you are in
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: your life, your financial situation, and I think it's okay
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: if you have a gift registry on your second marriage,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: for sure, Well do.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: You what's the best way. I'm trying to think of
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: scenarios here, Right, you got married young at twenty two,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: didn't have a big wedding, Then you get divorced and
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: you get married again at thirty four, and this is
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: the It makes perfect sense. But I've heard We've heard
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: somebody talking about this recently. They were asking for money
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: for something, Yeah, what was a gift for?
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: So they're actually I guess this is a new trend.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: And I feel like, you know, an old fogie at
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: this point, because I guess the new trend is on
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: a registry to actually have just a cash to pose
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: it basically where you could say this is our honeymoon
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: fund or this is our let's buy a house fund.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: But now new newly weds are asking for instead of
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: the pottery barn, you know, dish set, they're actually asking
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: just for donations, which I guess is more practical. But
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: growing up or coming up, that would have been considered
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: uncouth or rude or you know, not what you do.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: But if you're a wedding guest, does that make things
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: easier for you just to get some it?
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Yes on one hand, but also it's you're kind of
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: on the hook for exactly what you gave, like you
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like if you've got a gift
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: on sale or you got some cool deal, you feel
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: like you got them something and they don't really know
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: how much you spent. Now it's just like, yeah, you
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: only gave fifty bucks or like things like well, like
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I would just be I wouldn't know what the right
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: dollar amount was. Then you have to spend all this
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: time kind of figuring out how much is enough and
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: not too little and not too much. But you know,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I guess that makes a lot of sense to put
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: money towards a house versus getting you know, another crystal
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: base that you don't need. No.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: I I think if you're getting married, this is the
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I guess one of the few times in your life
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: you can ask other adults to give you stuff. Go
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: for it. Yeah I didn't get married a second and
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: third time and getting nothing out of it.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Well, I can guarantee you if, if, what, there's a
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: third marriage. I don't think at this age and at
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: this plays in my life it would be at all
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: okay for there to be a gift registries. So no worries.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: If you get an invite to a future wedding of mine,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I will not have a gift registry.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: But what if your husband wants one? Your new husband whoever,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: is going to be No, really, what if your husband wants,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: are you embarrassed?
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Yes? Really? Yes, embarrassed?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Oh poor guy? Really?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Yes? No? What are your thoughts on that I.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Want to get? Yes, I just said go for it.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I'm getting married. When when to error in your life
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: do you get to say, hey, give me stuff to
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: another adult people who are capable and willing to actually
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: buy and almost feel pressured to do so, go forward,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: ask for anything you want everything. You got to see
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: my registry.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Wow, all right, that's good to know.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: You didn't know. And the producers wanted to ask us,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: ask each other if we learned any I guess you
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: just learned something about me. You didn't know I wanted
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: the gift registry. But I'm looking through and going back
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: over our answer. I know you well, and I could
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: have answered most of this for you.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, I think so. Yes, we know each other that well.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: That's what eight years of friendship will do for you
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: going into a relationship.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I know what that is head. I know you not
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: because of the past two years of our relationship, but
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: because of the past the eight years before that of
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: our friendship. Really, I know so much about you because
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: obviously we're still learning about each other every day. But
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I did I've learned.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: So much about you in those eight years.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so prior to us getting in a relationship.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think other than the gift registry answer, I
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: would have been able to say what you thought about
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: all of this as well. So, but you know, for
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: those people who don't have ten years behind them in
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: a relationship, this is a good These questions are interesting
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: and important to ask the person who you're seeing to
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: see what they think and where they land. I think
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: the love language one is huge.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask how much stock did you put
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: in that? Because people talk about it so much.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I put a lot of stock in it. Yes, because
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: communication we always talk about this. That is the thing
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: that ends up undoing so many relationships. And if you
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: know how that person receives love best, then you can
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: give it, you know. I think we can all choose
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: how we show love, and knowing how the other person
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: prefers to receive it is huge. I just know. Yeah,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: like today, when you just came over and gave me
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: a kiss on the forehead, it was everything and maybe
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: you didn't want to do it, but it was a
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: way to show me love that I really received.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: You know, that's growing on me that idea. Really, I
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: can make things so much easier on myself if I
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: just give you a touch. I'm serious. I get in
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: so much of my own problems, but I stubbornly don't
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: do it because I am not that physical touch guy.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: When there's an issue or I'm not feeling somebody, I
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: do not want to distance. I don't want to hug
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: it out. I just don't. So I'm learning that about you,
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: and I'm trying to get better about it.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: You have gotten better about it, and I appreciate it.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you. All right, folks, if you're wanting some dating advice,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: you're ready to find love again, we want to hear
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: from you. Call us. Leave a voicemail with your questions. Bro,
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna let you take this next part because you're
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: so good at giving the phone number and the email
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: and the.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Whole Thing's my strong point. Well, you know what happened
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: this time around. I learned and I put my reading
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: glasses on, so I should do so much better. Folks.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: She's about to nail you're the last one, all right, folks,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: She's about to nail it. Stick. Get your pens up
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: in your paper, right is down?
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Call us at one eight four four four I Do
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Pod or eight four four four four three six seven
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: sixty three. You can also email us at I Do
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Pod at iHeartRadio dot com, follow us on Instagram, and
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: TikTok at I Do Part two pod. I Do Part two,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that folks, that is some broadcasting prowess right there.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: She's been doing this for a long time. But folks,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: we appreciate you all way. This has been so much fun.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I'm really enjoying I Do Part two, And thanks to
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Amy Sugarman at iHeart and Heather Mundy, our producer who
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: is really putting this together for us and leading the way,
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: and also our fellow hosts co hosts Jenny Garth and
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Jenna Kramer, who we absolutely adore. So this has really
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: been fun. Yeah, we got to do it.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we hope to hear from you. We hope we
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: can do our part to help you find love.