Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Saddiqim: The Power of Control 7.7.26

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Saddiqim: The Power of Control 7.7.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:00
  Is analyzing man's need to work on every character trait and
• 0:06
  there's a few steps. First of all, the significance
• 0:08
  of your Jemima. Now it's training some person
• 0:10
  out thank you and gives you focus in life and then the power
• 0:14
  of understanding just how great a person can be and how
• 0:18
  unbelievable we can, you know, things we can accomplish.
• 0:21
  And then afterwards we spoke a little bit about the fact that
• 0:24
  it's kind of the opposite, which is that people have certain
• 0:27
  character traits that are extremely in certain sense
• 0:31
  disappointing. There are people who get very
• 0:32
  angry very often. These are tendencies.
• 0:35
  His theme was is that every person is going to realize that
• 0:38
  you have certain tendencies that are built all the time and then
• 0:42
  we need to harness and we were talking about the fact yesterday
• 0:45
  that the greatest thing one can have and the character traits,
• 0:48
  not perfect characters, the greatest things you can have is
• 0:52
  control. To have a degree of control over
• 0:54
  the character traits is a blessing because then you're
• 0:58
  never going to go to an extreme, you're never going to lose
• 1:00
  yourself. And we dealt with some examples
• 1:02
  yesterday where a person does lose themselves, and that is
• 1:05
  arrogance. Can vote to the moon and people
• 1:08
  could spend their whole life finding about something based on
• 1:11
  a small level of cover. And it sounds funny and they
• 1:14
  seem like normal people. And then you see them in that
• 1:17
  fight and you cannot understand why that makes it such a big
• 1:20
  stink about something so small. That's a degree of arrogance
• 1:22
  that went too far. And there's tava temptation that
• 1:26
  a person could take to the Max and there's so many things that
• 1:29
  really ruin their life because of a small extra degree of
• 1:32
  temptation. And again, reining it in makes
• 1:34
  all the difference. And then there's a bound never
• 1:37
  said Akhava, which is someone who likes a lot of money also,
• 1:40
  he can go too far. And that is that a person who's
• 1:44
  such a strong desire for money and he never has enough.
• 1:47
  He can ruin his family life, he can ruin his relationships, he
• 1:51
  can change his entire all his values all because he went too
• 1:55
  far and that desire to make money.
• 1:57
  And these are just some examples of how people take things to the
• 2:00
  extreme. All those person, those people
• 2:03
  need it raining in is the power control.
• 2:06
  There's jealousy one of these. Things also jealousy, absolutely
• 2:10
  no jealousy is a major meet the and you see people go and
• 2:13
  they're talking about other people and they're upset and
• 2:16
  they they're they're they're always frustrated and always may
• 2:19
  and are we talking about the community And all this all boils
• 2:22
  down to one thing. It does it just the fact that
• 2:24
  they don't have someone else has and now they spin something to a
• 2:28
  total extreme and that's just something because they have not
• 2:33
  been able to recognize and identify.
• 2:34
  My flaw here is I can't stomach other peoples itself and that's
• 2:39
  driving me crazy. And if you just notice it and
• 2:43
  then start working on it, that person would be a completely
• 2:45
  different person. Again, most of our people are
• 2:48
  good people and our core, and yet we don't say that everyone
• 2:52
  does good things all day long. Sometimes people do things that
• 2:55
  are really off. What's up?
• 2:56
  How do you explain it? The explanation is kind of this
• 2:59
  concept that people have certain tendencies to go to an extreme
• 3:03
  and unless they reign it in, it can become their own and it also
• 3:07
  becomes their driving factor in their life.
• 3:11
  What do they think about all day?
• 3:13
  That mode of jealousy, that degree of Gava, that degree of
• 3:17
  anger, that element of temptation.
• 3:21
  And it takes people to such a far degree only because they
• 3:24
  never noticed it and stopped themselves.
• 3:26
  I have a question so but the person's trying to rebuke
• 3:31
  someone who changed. Let's say that for sure The the,
• 3:35
  the, the bottom line of that is jealousy.
• 3:39
  Let's say a guy came to me says I can't take it anymore.
• 3:42
  One of my best friends from high school guy made a couple of
• 3:45
  bugs. He's buying all these cars and
• 3:47
  watching and that's all he wants to talk about and start
• 3:50
  shambling is is he jealous that he doesn't have that?
• 3:53
  Possibly very, very possible. It happens to be a lot of it's
• 3:57
  very interesting thing you notice like is that a lot of
• 4:00
  people under opinions that bring out some good are built on
• 4:05
  someday, which means sometimes people have, you know, the
• 4:08
  classic opinions about the community.
• 4:10
  Oh, the weddings are too much and the deal houses are too
• 4:13
  much. And this and the other thing, a
• 4:15
  lot of the those arguments are based on the fact that someone
• 4:19
  can't afford until they can afford, and yet their opinion is
• 4:22
  right. Right.
• 4:23
  So what do you do with that? Well, you take their opinion and
• 4:26
  their railing is going to take away a grain of salt.
• 4:28
  It's not coming from a good place, but it is somewhat true.
• 4:32
  Yeah, it's very. It's actually more probable than
• 4:34
  not. And many times people do things
• 4:37
  that seem like we're trying to stand on the side of truth.
• 4:40
  It's really common with the fact that basically that situation
• 4:45
  makes me look bad. Most times people have an
• 4:47
  opinion. I think this is general.
• 4:49
  Most times people have an opinion.
• 4:51
  The opinion really is I don't feel good, they make me feel bad
• 4:55
  and therefore I'm not happy. That's my overall opinion in
• 4:58
  life in general. My opinion about the people, my
• 5:01
  opinion about the community, about the schools, about the
• 5:03
  schools, these things. A lot of times it says one
• 5:06
  thing. They don't make me feel good.
• 5:08
  They're living life the wrong way.
• 5:08
  And by the way, it goes both ways.
• 5:10
  For example, last time we were talking about charity.
• 5:12
  All right, and we're going to Suyav Chariton and you know, the
• 5:15
  big debate about charity, what's the biggest debate?
• 5:18
  Should it be a public? Should it not be public?
• 5:20
  And we learnt the suya. We learned the suya and it's not
• 5:25
  really clear which way to go. In a certain sense, it says you
• 5:28
  can't do it for coverage. We also know that the community
• 5:31
  would be fully quiet with their charity.
• 5:34
  What would be the outcome? I don't think people would give
• 5:36
  as much. So really you have two sides of
• 5:39
  the coin, and they're very good arguments.
• 5:40
  But it's it's it's not really possible, right?
• 5:44
  The only believe that like when it comes to a guy's prime Sr.
• 5:46
  right, the flow from Shamayim, right?
• 5:49
  So that's not really doing hishtad loot by announcing it.
• 5:53
  You're saying do the right thing.
• 5:54
  A lot of sham for you. Yeah, like I think it's a lack a
• 5:57
  little bit not. And again, I sound like the guy.
• 6:01
  No, I'm saying about it's lack of a little bit.
• 6:03
  It's a lack of because this The thing is supposed to be set it
• 6:07
  and forget it type of thing. And we believe that maybe just
• 6:11
  in case. So let's do it like this so we
• 6:13
  can get like. That that's a good question,
• 6:15
  which means you're asking that if we do come out with the right
• 6:19
  side, which other side is the right side?
• 6:21
  I caught the right side, but to say that we have to go to the
• 6:24
  other side because of, hey, we need the funds and that's the
• 6:27
  character. Trait you want 'cause like that
• 6:29
  would be certain character traits.
• 6:31
  You could do it the wrong way, like you could lead to the
• 6:32
  schma. Maybe that's one of those.
• 6:34
  But that was a part of the Suya itself.
• 6:35
  Literally a part of the Suya. It's a fair.
• 6:38
  It's hard to answer that question.
• 6:39
  I've heard that and that's why we have a room with Toshi Law,
• 6:42
  Isman, Abolishman. Generally we do things for the
• 6:45
  wrong reason. Events just lead to everything.
• 6:47
  But even within that, you could debate if the cavoid aspect of
• 6:51
  so the car is proper or not proper.
• 6:53
  But the interesting thing is as far as you go into the debate
• 6:56
  and as deep as you go into the debate, you will not be able to
• 6:59
  identify the real opinion simply based on you say one thing.
• 7:04
  I say another thing. Even if you look at the camera
• 7:06
  and you look at the reasoning, you still won't know what the
• 7:09
  real opinion is. Why?
• 7:10
  Because we'll look at it from hourglasses based on the fact
• 7:12
  that, hey, I'm a guy that doesn't give so much.
• 7:15
  And therefore my opinion is that all these people on their big
• 7:17
  names, it's not proper. And you're a guy who gives a
• 7:20
  lot. And if what your opinion is,
• 7:21
  let's say that all the people with the big knee, it's proper.
• 7:24
  In other words, people build their opinion based on what
• 7:28
  makes me feel good. I once heard this lesson.
• 7:31
  I like that, all right. It's how it works.
• 7:32
  I want this lesson. Once it is a there's a matage
• 7:34
  that says torate, it's a sale. It's better torate.
• 7:39
  All right. Torate, it's a sale, all right.
• 7:42
  You can imagine sitting around in Israel.
• 7:44
  It's different stories sitting around in America.
• 7:45
  My kids told me that after two weeks.
• 7:47
  That's how we felt. That's how I felt around like
• 7:49
  it. That's how it is.
• 7:50
  Cal, I want to tell you the rabbi once said it's over and
• 7:54
  his comment was that's true for now.
• 7:57
  What part? What percentage is Torah, What
• 8:00
  percentage is aid to sell? It depends who you ask.
• 8:03
  If he has the guy who got married and moved to Israel,
• 8:06
  right, he's going to sell you the big bottle is aid to sell.
• 8:09
  But if you ask the guy that lives in America and assistant
• 8:12
  learns in America, who knows that that statement is just, he
• 8:16
  isn't going to say it's 90%, sort of at 10% rate.
• 8:20
  Still, you're not going to know because every person here shaped
• 8:23
  their opinion and based on their way of life, we all have one
• 8:25
  thing in common. We want to feel like we're doing
• 8:28
  the right thing. There's nothing wrong with that.
• 8:30
  The problem with that is, is that you're going to shape an
• 8:32
  opinion that goes down your road and you're going to build and
• 8:36
  build and build that opinion. You're never going to really
• 8:38
  notice the flaws in the way we're living our lives.
• 8:41
  And we don't want to live lives thinking that we'll flaw the
• 8:43
  people. But we do want to live lives
• 8:45
  with eyes wide open, recognizing them, where to go.
• 8:48
  And that's the challenge. The challenge is, is that people
• 8:50
  build the character chase. People build an opinion without
• 8:54
  identifying the fact that it's OK to be wrong in your opinion.
• 8:58
  If you are 20 and you think you're right, 30 you think
• 9:01
  you're right. 40 you think you're right, 50 you think
• 9:03
  you're right. And he's still the same guy.
• 9:05
  And you always think that you're right and you're just making a
• 9:07
  circle around your way of life, a circle around your life.
• 9:10
  You're not changing an iota. That's a weakness because here
• 9:13
  you have an opportunity to develop, not letting stuff
• 9:16
  develop. But if you're honest with
• 9:17
  yourself and you notice your tendencies and you realize there
• 9:20
  are certain things about myself that are great, for sure, I was
• 9:23
  ready as well. I have a good background and I
• 9:25
  worked on myself. I'm great.
• 9:26
  But there are certainly things that got more to go.
• 9:29
  If you recognize that, then you work at it.
• 9:30
  That's just how you. Let's look at this next
• 9:33
  paragraph. The whole lot of thought he says
• 9:37
  when it comes to tendencies, opinions, security traits, the
• 9:42
  things that make up who you are, certain tendencies you were born
• 9:47
  with. That means if you're a strong
• 9:49
  guy, it's very possible. I don't mean physically strong.
• 9:52
  Let me if you're a brazen person, it's very possible you
• 9:56
  were born with that tendency. I noticed it for my kids, and
• 9:59
  that is that I watch them as a baby babe.
• 10:01
  I'm talking about six months. And then you watch them as they
• 10:05
  go off to four years old, right? And you notice that they're
• 10:08
  different. Obviously they go off, but a lot
• 10:10
  of the tendencies are really there when they were babies and
• 10:13
  it just, you notice this. And so that says, I always told
• 10:16
  them that it's not fair. It's like not a fair game if
• 10:18
  that's the case. So they were born a certain way
• 10:21
  and now they're going up a certain way.
• 10:23
  It's not really the the deck is stacked against them.
• 10:27
  That's what it feels like. Or or for them.
• 10:30
  Or for them. But they said KO anim are born
• 10:32
  with anger. Sure, they have to fight so they
• 10:36
  have more power in them, right? Some people have more water, you
• 10:39
  know. 100 percent exactly, but not use it as alibi find.
• 10:50
  My door. But you also use it when you get
• 10:52
  strong about something. Yeah, users backing?
• 10:54
  Sure, it's all both ways. The demon ought to be strong.
• 10:59
  I don't know what hurts exactly. Exactly.
• 11:02
  Wash our hands, Right, Right. And the, you know, redhead Kohan
• 11:08
  or the guy fire, right? The whole thing.
• 11:10
  So true. Butchers.
• 11:13
  The butchers talks about what's a butcher?
• 11:16
  They like blood. They like blood, right?
• 11:18
  So what do you say now? All butchers are bad people.
• 11:20
  All these things are a little bit people's tendencies.
• 11:23
  Some that born with the Kohan example, some that develop.
• 11:27
  Let's see Yesh, man do chayula Adama tahilat.
• 11:30
  But he got told if he'd ever go for there are certain tendencies
• 11:35
  that man has for money was born based on his little his physical
• 11:40
  makeup. He's got his Sir makeup that
• 11:42
  makes him, let's say, let's say frustrated, right?
• 11:44
  He's always angry. What is that?
• 11:46
  You notice the people are hot. There's no AC.
• 11:50
  You got into fights, right? My house is past Shabbat.
• 11:55
  We don't have AC. And the kids will eye each
• 11:57
  other's necks. Why 'cause they're hot, they're
• 11:59
  uncomfortable there. So what is that?
• 12:02
  That is a physical situation. And some people are born with
• 12:06
  such a physical makeup. That's a way they're always hot.
• 12:08
  It really means it's always like they can't breathe.
• 12:10
  It was just unsettled. And they get upset more often.
• 12:13
  Fish, man, they are some people. They may not be born that way,
• 12:24
  but they're born with a certain makeup that's easier prone to
• 12:28
  absorb a certain tendency. Let's think of an example.
• 12:32
  If the other person was born with a soft makeup, that means
• 12:37
  they're not. They're slow to anger.
• 12:38
  They're born with certain makeup they happen to usually sight and
• 12:42
  develop in nature that they more have a greater tendency toward
• 12:46
  liking people, caring about people, being softer to people,
• 12:50
  right? So they were born with a little
• 12:52
  bit of calmer makeup. They had nothing to do with
• 12:55
  Treset and they fit right in toe a liking people tendency, which
• 12:59
  by the way overall is a good thing but also can be flawed.
• 13:03
  We know if someone's always a nice and nice person, we know
• 13:05
  where that goes. Often times I've seen I win a
• 13:08
  certain fight, certain big fights where people do gooders
• 13:14
  sided with the wrong side and they would have better been off
• 13:17
  been better off avoiding the fight altogether.
• 13:20
  But they have such a tendency to be a do gooder that they ended
• 13:23
  up getting involved and making more problems.
• 13:26
  We all know this to be the case. Very often when there's a
• 13:29
  dispute going on, there's a couple extra people that jump
• 13:32
  into the fray. And those extra people are nice
• 13:34
  people and not bad people. They're trying to make Shalom in
• 13:38
  their mind, but then they decide to side with one side and then
• 13:41
  all they do is cause more Providence, right?
• 13:44
  And that's because play it out and start it over.
• 13:46
  They're born with a tendency of only liking Shalom.
• 13:49
  We like Shalom, We all like this.
• 13:51
  Who likes fights? And now because I have a
• 13:55
  tendency it fit into a mold, it says I like peace, I like
• 14:00
  Shalom. I can't stand the fact those two
• 14:02
  people are arguing. Let me jump in, Don.
• 14:05
  Let me look at the scene from my vantage point.
• 14:07
  Let me side with one side. Then before you know it, all I'm
• 14:11
  doing is making more problems, all because of the fact that I,
• 14:15
  my makeup led me down that road. And then you start to look at
• 14:19
  yourself. What happens over here is you
• 14:21
  start to look at other people and also yourself from a view
• 14:25
  from on high. And you say, it's not like I'm
• 14:28
  making all my own decisions. I have Berhida, of course I have
• 14:31
  Berhida, but at the same time I have free will, but at the same
• 14:35
  time I'm a little bit pushed into where I'm holding.
• 14:39
  If you think about the things that you say and the opinions
• 14:42
  that you hold and the comments that you make, you start right
• 14:45
  and the feelings that you have, you start to realize many of
• 14:48
  those are preordained pre-order dating based on how you woke up
• 14:52
  this morning for sure, right? What else is going on in your
• 14:55
  life? You have a guy who is struggling
• 14:57
  financially. That guy might have certain
• 15:00
  opinions that are tough. The guy's a guy who has a hard
• 15:02
  time with his kids. That guy might have certain
• 15:04
  opinions that are, you know, the schools these day, one of those
• 15:08
  guys, right? The schools these days.
• 15:09
  Why the schools these days? Why?
• 15:11
  Why do you have a problem with the schools?
• 15:12
  Because your children are not doing well.
• 15:14
  So you're blaming on the schools very often.
• 15:16
  Could be you have an honest opinion, but it could also be
• 15:19
  that your opinion is. You know, based on your
• 15:21
  situation. Guide it that way based on your
• 15:23
  situation. Wow, and the more a person is
• 15:25
  aware of the fact that he's not really dealing with a completely
• 15:29
  fault there, he's a drives, he's all drives.
• 15:31
  Think about being driven as opposed to that's a problem,
• 15:36
  right, There's definitely he's a drives completely.
• 15:38
  It just allows us always real as though being driven, right.
• 15:42
  I mean, if you think about and maybe it's different, but if you
• 15:45
  think about the fact that, you know, the the pro Palestinian
• 15:51
  people with their crazy protests and they shift over to another
• 15:55
  another protest, right, And other protests are a complete
• 15:58
  contradiction one to the other, because one is, you know, anti
• 16:01
  their beliefs, other ones pro their beliefs.
• 16:03
  They don't make any sense. They're getting paid.
• 16:05
  Maybe any of them not what their overall theme is.
• 16:08
  I hate, I just hate establishment.
• 16:12
  I hate, I hate everything. I hate normal way of life.
• 16:15
  I can't, you know, they hate themselves.
• 16:17
  That's exactly, that's what it is.
• 16:19
  And they're not making money and they're not working and they
• 16:22
  hate their parents and they hate the upbringing and hate
• 16:24
  themselves and that's what it is.
• 16:26
  So really just get to the core. If you would go to all these
• 16:30
  people and give them a nice vacation, give them a good job,
• 16:33
  you probably would stop most of those things instead of trying
• 16:38
  to fight them and convince them. You're not going to convince
• 16:41
  them. You can't convince insane people
• 16:43
  and make them normal, but you can't take them out of their
• 16:47
  situation. That's really the way of life.
• 16:49
  And it's extreme with those people, but it exists with us
• 16:52
  too. And the more persons aware and
• 16:55
  then my tendencies, some of them I was born with, some of them I
• 16:59
  was prone to adopt very fast 'cause it fits my beliefs and it
• 17:04
  fits my physical makeup and my background and the Shiva that I
• 17:08
  went to and the parents that I had and the community that I'm
• 17:11
  in. And that made me lead me
• 17:13
  directly to that way of thinking.
• 17:15
  What about? Go ahead.
• 17:19
  I think it's important to have people with sort of a wide
• 17:24
  Ranger situation. No, there's no question then.
• 17:27
  Like I, I see. A lot of miserable that like the
• 17:31
  boards, everybody's making a billion dollars and then then
• 17:34
  this like you're not representing.
• 17:37
  Good. The people.
• 17:38
  So in general. Yeah, we'll have children that
• 17:42
  like, that's part of that. 100% different views in general,
• 17:49
  usually I think we all can view with this having something of
• 17:52
  different views. It does lead to in general a
• 17:55
  healthier mindset. However, however, isn't a lot of
• 17:59
  practicalities and make up the boards, you know, maybe based on
• 18:03
  people who have a lot of money because it just that's how it
• 18:05
  adds up. We understand that a lot of
• 18:07
  times they like more than people.
• 18:08
  A lot of times they have people's friends a lot of times.
• 18:10
  Then the other thing, a lot of times they're giving big
• 18:12
  donations or they're able to get big donations.
• 18:14
  This thing's there for sure time.
• 18:16
  Well, they have more time or they have the time for exact
• 18:18
  other people, right. A lot of times, I mean, the
• 18:20
  people who who who get involved in volunteer work and go halim.
• 18:23
  A lot of times they have to have established businesses that they
• 18:26
  able to leave a little bit on the side to become the president
• 18:30
  of another organization takes a lot of time.
• 18:32
  There's a lot there and and you're saying, but the overall
• 18:35
  benefit is and we have different views and people make made-up of
• 18:39
  different backgrounds. So there is, however, a little
• 18:42
  bit of a weakness to that. And that is when everything is
• 18:45
  very balanced. I always go back to the same
• 18:48
  thing when I was in high school, 10th grade.
• 18:51
  I don't know why we did this. We decided to take a vote on
• 18:54
  who's the most normal guy in Chris.
• 18:56
  OK, That means he, you know, some, you know, he's well liked
• 19:00
  an average amount. He's got a certain disposition
• 19:03
  that's calm. It's normal.
• 19:05
  It's I mean, no extremes. I remember the guy's name.
• 19:07
  I can say his name. I remember the guy who was
• 19:09
  settled on OK. And the guy who was settled on,
• 19:13
  he came from sort of, you know, it was a heavy she replaced.
• 19:17
  So, you know, some guys had a heavy sheer background.
• 19:20
  His parents were in business. So he's a little bit more over
• 19:22
  calm make up. He didn't have such an extreme
• 19:25
  view. He was a nice guy.
• 19:26
  He wasn't the smartest, he wasn't the least smart.
• 19:30
  He was a fair middle of the road guy, perfect to fit the bill.
• 19:34
  The issue is they so I've always had with that vote is that he
• 19:37
  Fast forward how many many years later this guy is but he got
• 19:41
  he's married with children. Well, good, but he's living the
• 19:44
  most blood life pretty much of any guy from my class.
• 19:48
  Why he's not some guys own nursing homes.
• 19:51
  Some guys became accountants, some guys became Roshi Shivas
• 19:55
  and Roshi Kalialis. This guy in the middle of the
• 19:58
  road, he's working for somebody else.
• 20:00
  He has a nice family. He's a is he a cute guy, lives
• 20:03
  in Baltimore or goes to any side.
• 20:05
  He has no extreme same. I don't think I don't know his
• 20:08
  kids situation, but he's got no in a certain sense, no extremes,
• 20:12
  no certain sense really, no strength.
• 20:15
  He may be the happiest probably by in the same boat.
• 20:18
  He's probably still floating all nicely and all good, but the
• 20:21
  reality is extremes and that's why the goal is not to harness
• 20:25
  in your extremes and dull them down.
• 20:27
  The goal is not to remove your tendencies of extremes.
• 20:31
  Goal is just to understand them and to use them to your
• 20:34
  advantage. All right, as we'll see all this
• 20:36
  throughout the book, that is the goal.
• 20:38
  The goal is that every person that you know that's great has
• 20:41
  got a little bit of an extreme and a greatness there in that
• 20:44
  extreme, but they were on top of it.
• 20:46
  If you're not on top of it, no matter what your extremist is,
• 20:50
  it can be a flaw. If you're not on top of that.
• 20:53
  I'm talking about even if your extreme tendency is to pray a
• 20:57
  lot, if she intends to give charity, if she intends to learn
• 21:01
  a lot, doesn't make a difference.
• 21:02
  To be a nice person, to be a man of Shalom.
• 21:05
  If you're too extreme without control, it's a flaw.
• 21:09
  To be to your point, yes, balance is good, but blah is not
• 21:12
  good, so it's true. Balance would be great.
• 21:14
  Let's finish the paragraph and then we'll stop.
• 21:18
  Yes man, some people have tendencies.
• 21:22
  He wasn't born with it and he wasn't even heading that way.
• 21:26
  He's just a very simple copycat. And because he's a copycat, he
• 21:33
  follows up the people and he actually changes.
• 21:36
  You ever seen this, some guy that you knew years ago and now
• 21:39
  you look at him today, He's got a certain way.
• 21:41
  It's like very strong. You don't remember him having
• 21:44
  that way at all, right? I know what happened.
• 21:47
  Either he got married, his wife was that way, or he has a group
• 21:51
  of friends that are that way. She just changed and you're
• 21:55
  wondering people don't change. And the answer is yes, they do.
• 21:57
  They they don't change themselves naturally, but they
• 22:00
  adapt their copycats. Many people in the world we live
• 22:03
  in are a copycat of the people around them.
• 22:06
  I've had this personal test that I've noticed very often.
• 22:10
  That's an extreme test. Men, I'll give you an example.
• 22:15
  Certain women are very into being cleanly, I'd say being
• 22:19
  very clean. Cleanliness.
• 22:21
  OK, husband. They got married.
• 22:23
  The guy was a little bit slow. He did his thing.
• 22:26
  He gets married. His wife is a clean freak.
• 22:29
  Let's call it my very clean and he's married.
• 22:32
  Grief. OK, Beautiful marriage from this
• 22:34
  great marriage. What have I noticed?
• 22:36
  I noticed that the men eventually become that way.
• 22:40
  Not only become that way, they become more sinise than their
• 22:44
  wives. I've had two people that are
• 22:47
  very close to that exactly that situation.
• 22:51
  The wife, she stayed the same, but the man became moist.
• 22:55
  Ennis and his wife in both situations.
• 22:57
  How's that possible Adaptee? We are copycat.
• 23:00
  We are a little bit of a copycat society and therefore your
• 23:03
  tendencies can go down that road if you don't have control is the
• 23:07
  reality. It's true with cleanliness.
• 23:09
  That's fine, you've. Seen a religion too?
• 23:11
  See a religion for sure the. Husband will start going fastest
• 23:13
  and the wife gets involved. Boom, you know.
• 23:16
  She takes him to a fall on the level.
• 23:17
  Sure, it's very common, it's very normal.
• 23:21
  And once you identify the fact that you have so far 3 tracks of
• 23:25
  developing extremes, either you were born with it or you were
• 23:29
  prone to it, or in this scenario you're a copycat.
• 23:33
  You have to realize the harness of it.
• 23:34
  What's he telling you? Or should put not let him out?
• 23:37
  Small of him a shavash al Tabili bor or he's your marshes Otter
• 23:40
  de Altovaro. Maybe he was told it's a good
• 23:42
  idea to go this way. Then he got more biojanic
• 23:47
  Biobili bor. Regardless, all these different
• 23:49
  tendencies became you and now your job is to undo or to
• 23:55
  harness. Have a great day and to guide
• 23:58
  you to have a better better version like yourself.
• 24:00
  If you do, then you can keep these tendencies.
• 24:03
  Nothing wrong with them. You can have them, they can be
• 24:05
  your male. I think it's undo.
• 24:07
  Doesn't your undo? The job of life is never to undo
• 24:10
  the job of life. Fit them into your life.
• 24:12
  Guide them and use them as your strength.
• 24:15
  You think of the soldiers in Israel, right?
• 24:17
  I'm sure a lot of them probably had a strong tendency.
• 24:21
  They maybe had a certain mentality and they took it and
• 24:24
  they went to fight and to save people to fight, right?
• 24:28
  You think of and many people in mind, in your mind, they took
• 24:31
  their tendencies and they used it for the good.
• 24:33
  I'm using soldiers because they might use as warriors as an
• 24:36
  example of something. It's almost a strong minded
• 24:38
  person and he goes use it for the good.
• 24:40
  And that can be anything of any element of your makeup.
• 24:44
  Job is not undue. The job is to harness and we do
• 24:48
  become greedy so.