Latest / The Golden Chronicles / Episode 6: Worldviews- What in the Worldview?!
Transcript
- Danielle: So I think that a worldview helps people understand their place in the world. It helps them make decisions. It helps them navigate life. can include... values, religion, you for joining us on the Golden Chronicles podcast. ⁓ Victoria. I'm a baby boomer. And I'm Danielle. I'm a millennial. ⁓ today we're going to take a deep dive into worldviews. What that means, what it looks like, ⁓ to have relationship with people your ⁓ ideas about race and money and work ethic boundaries, ⁓ also ⁓ how emotion should be expressed. differing ⁓ worldviews. ⁓ Deep dive. This is something that feel like we are still learning that we are trying to understand worldview is growing and changing. And so we wanted to just have a conversation about what that looks So, as we know, we really enjoy looking up the definition of a word. So we're going to start with the definition of the word worldview. And this is from the Webster's Dictionary and it says that a worldview is a comprehensive conception apprehension ⁓ of the world, especially from a specific standpoint. ⁓ So this is gonna be an exciting conversation and just in the research of doing this, I've learned quite a bit about worldviews, about my own and about Danielle's. And I think this is going to give our listeners an opportunity to understand and learn more about the worldview of their loved ones. the foods we eat to the clothes we wear ⁓ the places that we shop. It affects the candidates that we support. Supports the God we worship. I think that worldview really is like the ⁓ thread of who a is ⁓ I think it's very interesting. it identifies our existence ⁓ and I had never thought of it that but I can definitely see how or my worldview identifies existence. Of I'm gonna have to go back and look up the word existence ⁓ so I fully understand. ⁓ But think that's ⁓ very interesting and ⁓ to understand. agree. I think that once we understand that our identity is like based our worldview, ⁓ helps us have a clearer picture of not only but other people as When we realize that everybody is living their And sometimes our worldviews align, and sometimes our worldviews different. And ⁓ that's what we want talk about today is how do we maintain relationships people ⁓ who may different worldviews as us? I think at its core, worldview kind of us structure or answers for what is true what is false? ⁓ What is safe and what is unsafe? And when you start look ⁓ at the world ⁓ of your worldview, you're able to ⁓ how worldviews do shape everybody's day-to-day life. So existence, this state or fact of having, being, especially independently of human consciousness and as contrasted with non-existence, the manner of being that is common to every mode of being. I'm existence, my ⁓ Yes. And everything in it. Correct, Yes. Not only Not why, really, but how worldview, identifies ⁓ how ⁓ live. How exist in world. I in the world. Yeah. ⁓ And so What are you scared Why are scared of Probably in worldview. What feels threatening? What feels What feels disrespectful? And that is how worldview plays a part in ⁓ decision that I make. ⁓ Yeah. ⁓ If you subscribe to worldview that all creatures equal. ⁓ animal, tree, human, all, then maybe you live a vegan life. And so your worldview is gonna shape what you eat, what you wear. you don't leather. You're gonna get mink ⁓ sweater. ⁓ ⁓ You're not gonna wear a mink coat That's gonna shape those You're not gonna use ⁓ that use animals for testing or And so your worldview is big, all encompassing, ⁓ all Yes. It really affect everything we do. It's based on the way we see the world which is what we consider worldview. Correct, yes. So, along with our worldview, helping us. establish our identity or giving us structure for the decisions that we make think that There can be a lot fear tied to worldviews world views. Especially family and loved ones, especially children. Yeah. When we have differing world views it can be a stressful situation for maybe both parties involved. Yeah and scary. Right? Because our worldview feels safe, ⁓ right? I had the same worldview from the I born. born into a specific worldview ⁓ and that worldview is what ⁓ my personality was based of, right? Like ⁓ my ⁓ all these things. And so ⁓ if in relationship someone who has a different worldview, then ⁓ there's the potential for all of my safe things to start to feel unsafe or not unsafe but unstable. Like if I've built up this idea that this is safe and this is not safe and then I meet someone who believes that what I believe is not safe is safe, then that has the potential to start to crumble what I believed as stable. And that can be very scary, a very scary thought in thinking. In practice, it's not as scary, I don't think, but I think when you think about it that way, it can be very scary. It can be very scary because once again, it encompasses our existence. And so if something begins to question your existence, how big is that? Yeah, it feels massive. It feels massive. I it is massive. It is massive. I so that's one thing is you're scared of your own worldview crumbling when you ⁓ open your worldview to people's worldview. The ⁓ of change growing ⁓ and... ⁓ expanding your worldview can be a little bit scary because if you have this foundation and once again you start to grow and change your worldview it feels like you might be on shaky ground for a little bit and that's scary. If I've built my personality around this being right and then I start to think well maybe this isn't right then what is my personality? This is an example that may or may not resonate, but I recently got diagnosed with ADHD. one of the symptoms of ADHD for me ⁓ is having really high anxiety in ⁓ environments that aren't clean. So I... can't sit down at my computer and get work done if my living room messy. Like my brain just feels cluttered. It feels disorganized. that kind of has been how I've lived my life forever. And I just have felt like... well, how does anybody get work done with a cluttered space? And this is like so simple and on such a small level, ⁓ but when I got diagnosed ADHD and I started understanding the symptoms, I'm like, well, it's not a cluttered space makes people's brains cluttered. ⁓ It's that in my experience, because of my... not worldview, but my ADHD, I'm unable to focus in a cluttered space. And so the arguments that I've picked with people or like the disappointment that I've had or the expectations that I've had that weren't met when people don't have a organized space to work. are not like universal expectations. And so then to realize that, wow, I've kind of been an asshole to people who maybe didn't have a clean working space because I thought that a clean working space was needed in order to be productive or to focus. And so ⁓ that's very small, ⁓ but in worldview, understanding that, well maybe ⁓ my way of thinking about things isn't right. ⁓ And then everything, I started kind of feel like. ⁓ uncertain about myself because I'm like well have I been overreacting to my house being cluttered and Feeling like is everybody else's brain just cluttered all the time. No like to it differently you say that it also caused you to be judgmental of the person who did not have the clean workspace? It did, absolutely. ⁓ And maybe not like outwardly judgmental, but on the inside I'm like how can people live like this? You know, like ⁓ How can you get anything done if house is cluttered? ⁓ When in reality it's not... my worldview of you know needing ⁓ space to be a certain way is not the same for everyone and so that's just like a really that's not necessarily a worldview example but it's a good picture of how when ⁓ living our life a certain for so long we sometimes forget we're not able to see that maybe our ⁓ way of thinking isn't the only way of thinking maybe our way of doing isn't the only way of doing it Sometimes I also feel like other people, when we're younger, other people have a large that they play in shaping our worldview. We are trusting of them. They're nice people. ⁓ They live a certain They have a certain worldview and we adopt. their worldview as our own? Yeah, I think worldview has a lot to do with our upbringing. It has a lot to do with the culture that we're part of. It has a lot to do with the part of the world we're born in. ⁓ I think if we were born in. ⁓ Somewhere in Asia, our worldview would probably be different than the worldview that we have being born in America. So yeah, absolutely. I think that people are able to help us shape our worldview and not just in the beginning developmental stages, but also as we grow. ⁓ as we are able to kind of expand our worldview, coming in contact with people who have different worldviews and learning from them and seeing how they live their life and seeing how they do things or what they believe and that kind of also is able to expand our worldview or help grow our worldview as well. Mom and I. Mom and I haven't always had different worldviews, but we do now have different worldviews, although think that we, our world views are coming closer together. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I feel like we have had different world views. We do have different world views. When did you first realize that we had different world views? I would say it's been about three to four years that I realized that, so for me, I even thinking worldview. ⁓ It a ⁓ but I was you think differently. ⁓ So ⁓ what I thinking was you think ⁓ I wasn't associating that with a ⁓ now that we've had discussions about it, I understand that we do have differing worldviews on topics. I mean, there's a lot that agree upon, but I understand now that it's your that is different than my own. ⁓ I think I would agree, was probably four or five years ago that we were having some deep conversations and I realized we see the world very differently. And of course I grew up in my mom's house, so ⁓ I grew with like the same worldview as ⁓ though like I obviously had different experiences, but the most part ⁓ our worldviews were pretty aligned. And so, ⁓ Yeah, we do see the world very differently. when you realized that we had different worldviews, did you feel as though you had an obligation to help shape my worldview, to change my worldview, ⁓ you concerned I would be with you your worldview was no longer what it was when you were younger? nervous I think well first I didn't know right I didn't know until I knew it wasn't like I was like ⁓ mom and I have different worldviews I was were in a I started realizing okay maybe we see the world differently I think once I ⁓ was able to recognize that we see the world differently and then I was able to kind of like dive a little bit deeper into what and how I the world and started understanding more about my views I think that I was nervous I wanted to share with you ⁓ the things that I was learning, things that I believed, because I felt like a light bulb off, right? So I was like, ⁓ my goodness, all of these things ⁓ I'm learning, I want to share. want you to be disappointed in for not believing the same things you or not. the same quote values that you had or whatnot and so I think that I was one excited to share and also scared and so I for a long time I didn't really even tell you all of the things that I believe I think that there are still things that I believe that we haven't like really gotten into too much just in the last couple weeks since we've been talking about this episode. Thanks guys. We've talked about some of the big ways that we believe differently. ⁓ But yeah, I think I was a little bit scared. Even before I realized that it was a different worldview, in speaking ⁓ with you, I ⁓ totally understood how... what you believed was different from what I believed. Yeah I understood experience, you know, they say things that make you go, ⁓ I understood what you to go, hmm. ⁓ And I didn't really ⁓ have any commentary ⁓ about processing it and I like I said I really understood it and I acknowledged that ⁓ I get it yeah you get it ⁓ in not that you agreed with but that you just it I understood where I was coming ⁓ I understood where you were coming from ⁓ and I also understood that it was not ⁓ I did felt no obligation ⁓ to talk you out of the way that you were feeling. Because I totally saw what it is that you saw. And I completely understood it and how what you had experienced, how it had affected you. Because you weren't the only person that I had heard that had been affected in that way by the worldview that we all had shared at the time. Did you feel like our difference in worldview ever felt personal? ⁓ meaning it like it was ⁓ maybe judgment ⁓ or or an invalidation of from you to me. Yes. No, I didn't feel that way at all. Yeah, I you be very sensible ⁓ and You're looking for someone to blame. ⁓ things happened, you saw these things, ⁓ they caused you to question. That's ⁓ what a mature adult... if you didn't question and you just ⁓ with the punches, that would make me concerned. ⁓ you took some time to what you were seeing ⁓ so that you put a finger on. ⁓ what it is that you were feeling and the changes that were happening Yeah. ⁓ I think that there maybe was, I can remember a time we sitting outside the and we were having a conversation about something and I feel like ⁓ maybe you felt like I was attacking your worldview because we saw things differently, ⁓ which my intention. And I think that happens a lot. I think people to have ⁓ conversations ⁓ and sometimes because our worldview is so intertwined with everything in our Our existence. Right, our existence, right, like we said, our identity is based in it. think that sometimes when people have a differing opinion our worldview, it feel like a personal You believe ⁓ this, ⁓ I do, so now I feel like you ⁓ don't respect or And I think that ⁓ might have happened once or twice, ⁓ once that I can of you ⁓ felt attacked. I'm sure that we had conversation about it after where we kind of talked about it, ⁓ I think that is a common where people just sharing. their opinions or their beliefs or their worldview ⁓ ⁓ come across as defensive or ⁓ they're trying to convince you ⁓ ⁓ they're trying to win an argument or that they're trying to win ⁓ has the right opinion ⁓ I don't think that it needs to be that way. I think that there's a way that we can disagree without dismissing a person. I think that, I don't know if I did a good job of this because obviously you felt some type of way, so maybe I was getting, you know, worked up emotions ⁓ involved and ⁓ It's very possible, ⁓ I think that that happens a lot. And I think that a key to like maintaining relationships with people ⁓ who have different worldviews is ⁓ learn how disagree without dismissing. I agree with that. Yeah. You know, we can always find things to ⁓ agree upon even if we have differing worldviews. ⁓ We are multifaceted and we're not, ⁓ our existence is based our worldview, ⁓ there's so much each individual person, things that we can upon. that we can keep separate from what our worldview is. Yeah, ⁓ I think that a of times are, when comes to hot topics and ⁓ worldviews, let's just agree to disagree. or nothing. Let's just to disagree. Yeah. Which ⁓ I think at the core of that, is good idea, right? Like, we don't have to agree on everything, we can agree that we don't agree on everything, but it's also very dismissive because I think a lot of times people use it as a way to just like, in the conversation instead of trying to actually understand one another. ⁓ Once again, people get in conversation and it's more about winning the conversation as opposed to understanding or ⁓ about... trying to have a response to what someone is saying as opposed to, like, it's a debate, it's not a conversation when people are talking about their worldview because their worldview is truth. Your worldview is your truth, right? ⁓ And so, mom has been saying, ⁓ instead of agreeing to disagree, let's agree to agree. And so let's find, ⁓ Yeah, let's find common ground. find what do we agree on? What value do we agree on here? What ⁓ goal, what memory can we agree on here? And often when we are able to agree to agree, we can transcend the specific issue at hand, right? Because we're able to see the humanity in someone else. And this is actually really funny because when mom and I were talking about ⁓ agreeing to agree versus agree to disagree, we disagreed. It ⁓ was really, I was like, I don't think that what you're saying makes sense. ⁓ I said, this might be one of those things that we just have to agree to disagree on. But I called her later and I was like, OK, let's talk about this a little bit more because I want to listen to understand. I don't want to listen to pass judgment or have my own preconceived ideas like okay this is obviously something that is important to you or that you're passionate about so explain to me again what you mean by agree to agree. I just think there are so many things that we can agree to and it doesn't even have to be something that's associated with worldview. What I was saying was that I can agree that your worldview is different from mine. We agree. ⁓ We that we have ⁓ different ⁓ But can be something as little ⁓ as, you guys know Danielle has an eight year old, she is precious. ⁓ She is intelligent and both she intelligent. ⁓ So not only does that us something to agree upon, that gives us something to discuss. ⁓ You know, we can talk her funny stories and things that she said and ⁓ we're in agreement and that only going to improve our because have now found something ⁓ to agree on. that's where I was kind of going with it. I think I was getting a little too deep in it. Yeah, ⁓ little lost in the A little lost in the sauce. ⁓ it can be anything that you can agree. I agree that I want to have a great relationship with you. are in agreement with that. Yeah. And so It doesn't have to be about the world view, but just something that you both agree upon. And that's going to create a connection between the two. so the framework of our worldview starting was based in religion and we see the world very differently now, not very differently, we are able to find common ground on how we see the world. The other day, mom was telling a story and she said something about the Holy Spirit. Now in my beliefs, I don't necessarily... I don't know how to say this. In my current beliefs, the Holy Spirit is not something that's in my vocabulary. ⁓ when mom was telling me this story, ⁓ even that's not necessarily the system of beliefs that I subscribe to any longer. I was able to take what she was saying in my framework and make it make sense, right? So I didn't have to say the Holy Spirit said that. I don't if I believe in the Holy Spirit or whatever it is. I was just able to listen to what it is that she was saying ⁓ and to understand. ⁓ in her worldview, this is how she can explain the experience that she had. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm not saying I'm right, I'm not saying the Holy Spirit doesn't exist, I'm saying that in her worldview, this was a real experience that she had and this is what she attributed to you. I don't have to debate whether it was, you know, ⁓ a... Energy or whether it was a thought that she had or whether it was confirmation bias or any of those things I can just understand that this is her experience and this is the framework in which she's able to articulate her experiences and I can just accept that and I think that takes back to let's agree to agree ⁓ because I think in that a Danielle knows me well enough to know that If I'm saying something about the Holy Spirit, she can agree that I have had an experience with what to me. ⁓ the Holy Spirit. She can agree that that is an experience that my mom has had without her changing her worldview or ⁓ without it seeming as though I want her to believe worldview. we agree this ⁓ is something that ⁓ is meaningful to her ⁓ and is true with what telling that has happened. ⁓ And I think that's a big part of choosing ⁓ connection. I don't have to abandon ⁓ what I in to have connection with mom. ⁓ she doesn't have to conform to my way thinking order to have a connection with It doesn't mean that I am not gonna. speak up or that I'm not going to share my experiences because my experiences don't include the Holy Spirit. Like my experiences are the universe but I can still share that with her and because we've chosen to agree to agree she can hear me talk about the universe and I can hear her talk about the Holy Spirit and we can identify with each other in those stories based on our own worldview. ⁓ And we can agree that that's important to you. ⁓ You can agree that that's to me. ⁓ And think that leaves room for respect honest communication. ⁓ And it takes away fear. for us to be able to agree on something so profound and important. Right. It also like doesn't mean that I'm going to, ⁓ if she ⁓ uses her worldview, and doesn't have to do with the Holy Spirit, but if she her worldview in a way that is harmful, it doesn't mean that I have tolerate that either. ⁓ It means that I can still speak up and I can say, I think this is wrong. understand her worldview. I understand. where she's coming from, where her ideals come from, and I can still ⁓ tell her if I think is harmful or if something is inappropriate, and the same for me. Like if I'm saying something about a people group because of my worldview, ⁓ she won't shrink back and not say anything right? Like ⁓ she can still ⁓ call out the harm. think that is, we can still call out the harm without dismissing or disrespecting ⁓ the other worldview. And I think there goes that again. We are going to that we're not be disrespectful, ⁓ that we are gonna listen to the person. Regardless of which way you believe, way I believe, the way believes, ⁓ there's some things that ⁓ are important to agree upon. I respect you, you can respect me. Yeah. ⁓ And I think, I know that we have said this and we've probably said it in all the episodes before this one, but listening to understand. ⁓ having conversations with people to understand. we understand one another, I think it's gonna be way ⁓ to disrespect one another. You know, when we actually have understanding. when we see each other's humanity, we're able to listen to understand the human behind the idea. I know that worldview can be a hot topic it can generate quite a ⁓ bit of emotion, ⁓ depending which worldview you're ⁓ talking about. ⁓ Well, I think all worldviews right like if once again This is something that has been with us since we were born we were born into our worldview most of the times of course they reshape and stuff like that, but it does feel personal when someone is saying something that goes against their worldview because it shapes who we are. And so yeah, with all worldviews, feel like if someone, can elicit an emotional response for sure. ⁓ I totally agree and I think. ⁓ It doesn't have to. And I think that's where the conversation, that definitely has to be a part of the conversation. It doesn't have to separate us. It doesn't have to separate us. And I think if keep that in mind, we can still connect with one another. Being respectful of the other person. and I think there's an element of loving person that transcends a worldview. ⁓ I agree. ⁓ Yeah. and think that ⁓ Sometimes though love someone I think that having relationship with someone with a different worldview has be a two-way Explain. ⁓ Well, maybe doesn't have to. I think it works best when it's a street, right? like, ⁓ if we have different worldviews, ⁓ if I have made the decision listen to understand, agree to agree, ⁓ maintain relationship with you, disagree without dismissing, ⁓ you haven't made those yet, then going to make it really difficult me to have a relationship you if you can't ⁓ my Right? So it's gotta be a mutual respect. I think there are some times where people have differing worldviews and they aren't interested in finding common ground ⁓ for whatever reason. So boundaries have to be established. There is someone in our life who we have very different worldviews. I have made the decision to cut this person out of my life. I don't have any interest in having conversations with this person, having this person at my house, know, seeing this, I have no interest in that. Our worldviews are different. Maybe it's on me, maybe I'm not interested in seeing their worldview. Some of it is that I... believed some of the same things that they believed and once I was able to listen to people and understand and see the humanity in people, my ideas and my views have changed. And so maybe it's that I understand where they're coming from, but they're not able to open their mind and understand where I'm coming from. that's a person who I, I, firm boundary, ⁓ Don't have interest in having it in my life. ⁓ So ⁓ was just thinking, you know. our worldviews on certain things that different really have different ⁓ But I think the world view, I don't even know if we should use that term in stating that we are more alike than we are different. Neither one of us believes that murder is appropriate. ⁓ Right, well. ⁓ So in that, I think that agree more than maybe we really have Yeah. ⁓ some of the core beliefs that have that our worldview has shaped, ⁓ though we have worldviews, maybe some of core beliefs overlap. Yes, yes, yes. I would agree with that. Yeah. Okay. Which I think is one of those things that... even if you have different worldviews, maybe some of your core beliefs overlap with someone with a different worldview. And maybe look for those things where our beliefs overlap. Very Very good idea. Yeah. I think that it's really easy to fall into this list of things not to do, like moral superiority. know that there have been times in the past where I've taken, I've thought that I had the moral high road and I've responded as such. Feeling like my standards values or ⁓ actions somehow inherently better or more justified than others values and maybe judging people because like ⁓ forefront judging people, not like ⁓ you know, but subconsciously making judgments on a person. It's elevating your own opinion as opposed to. not judging the person but you're elevating your own opinion of yourself and your way of your way of thinking Possibly right like I wasn't like I mean maybe there were some times where I was judging okay in ⁓ Intentionally judging but I feel like most of the times when I was judging I was like trying to be judgmental. ⁓ I just felt like I had the moral road. And it wasn't like, I have the moral high road. It's just like inherently I felt like my decisions are based on my set of rules ⁓ and my set of ⁓ are the set of clearly, right? Because that's what I believed. ⁓ And so if someone living by the set of rules that I thought was the set of rules, then there was judgment there. ⁓ Whether I was subconsciously them ⁓ or judging them, there judgment there. you feel ⁓ judgment by me ⁓ when we began to have discussions different ⁓ I didn't get that directed at me, because you love me and I'm your daughter. But I that is something that I, in the same way ⁓ that I would have moral superiority when ⁓ thinking about other people. ⁓ I felt like that's what I seeing in you as well. And that was based ⁓ what I had been taught. Right. ⁓ then ⁓ I was able to process situation, you've heard that terminology, don't check your brain at the door. Right. And sometimes we do that. ⁓ And when I was able shake that ⁓ off and begin to really ponder what it is that thinking. ⁓ that began to change. Yeah. I think that sometimes I feel like maybe I have the moral high road in a different ⁓ context before. Because you're more accepting. Because I'm more accepting. So it does kind of feel like, well, if you're not then... ⁓ You're beneath me. You're beneath me, right. Which is like really easy to fall into. And I try to just remember that like everybody's living, everybody's on their own journey. Everybody's living life. Not everybody. For the most part, people are. just living their life, doing the best with the information they have. Life is complicated. have mortgage, we have car payments, have soccer practice, have IRS. We have like, there's so much and sometimes you're not really thinking about the everyday little decisions that someone else is making. is our existence. And so, I think that is very ⁓ easy to fall into that moral and another thing that we hear a lot is if people don't agree with you then they're brainwashed or they're ignorant or they're ⁓ wrong and you're right. ⁓ You're wrong and I'm right. ⁓ You're I'm right. You're small. I'm You're dumb. I'm smart. ⁓ Yeah, so think we just have to really careful in having relationships with people who have different worldviews that we're not, feeling like we are. the end all be all when it comes to morals or that they are brainwashed or even like this is a big one especially in the last five years is people weaponizing therapy terms like Narcissist or gaslighting or those kinds of things which that Although maybe true, is not gonna open anybody up to conversation. It's not a way to listen to understand. It's not a way that's gonna make people want to hear what you have to say. It's gonna shut them down. It's gonna turn them off. They're gonna, you know, feel like you're labeling them or whatever. so keeping that in mind, we don't wanna, put people on defensive we're trying to have relationship with people with different worldviews. Right, that's ⁓ never gonna work. Yeah, exactly. I think that does sometimes come a point where we just have to acknowledge that this is who a person is and that this is who a person is. ⁓ should never really have conversations where we're trying to convince someone to believe what we believe, right? been really fortunate. have my best friend, Hi, V'nai shout out. ⁓ ⁓ We had the same background. Her worldview started expanding and she was having conversations with me just in passing, just about her day and her life and her friends and stuff like that where she was sharing with me the ways in which her worldview was changing. Not in this is how my worldview is changing, but in these are my friends and this is what my friends and I talked about today and I was able to see things a little bit differently and that's what started opening up my worldview. She wasn't having those conversations with me trying to make me change my mind. She was just sharing her experience with me and I was able to see the humanity in her experiences because she was my friend. And I was able to expand my worldview to include more than just the people who follow my set of rules, if that makes sense. But that does not always happen. In relationships with parents and kids, with friends. ⁓ It doesn't always happen that a person decides to change their worldview to align with your worldview or that their worldview grows to expand to the way that yours has or anything like that. So like, what do we do? How do we have continued ⁓ relationship with these people when we acknowledge that this is who they are? years ago, I was to my therapist, talking to her about worldviews and the conversations that my mom and I had had about worldviews and... where we differed and how it was difficult and something that my therapist said to me was that if I'm going to have a relationship with my mom, I have to accept my mom for who she is and I have to accept you for who you are. she was basically trying to tell me that If I want to have a relationship with you, can't go into it where every conversation I'm trying to change your mind or every conversation I'm trying to make you see from my point of view where I'm trying to teach you something new or whatever I just have to accept that this is who you are. This is what you believe And choose to have a relationship with you knowing that and I think that over the last five years are like I said our world views are know, overlapping a little bit more, getting closer and closer together again. But ⁓ at that time they weren't. And so I think that's... something good to remember if you're in a relationship with someone who has a different worldview today, you just have to accept that that's who they are. You can't go into it with the expectation that today's gonna be different. It might be, hopefully, one day my best friend talked to me and I agreed with her about something that I'd never agreed with her about before, you know, and we were able to have conversations about that but she didn't have conversations with me expecting that was gonna change my worldview. ⁓ That being said. not all relationships are going to stay close forever. So even though we may try to have ⁓ relationship with people who have different world views. One, like I said, I think that that has to be mutual respect, and sometimes people aren't able to offer that respect. so sometimes we have to distance ourselves from people. And that goes with people who may share the same worldview. Yeah. Those things happen in relationships. Yes. And so it could be temporary, it could be permanent. ⁓ knowing when you need to protect yourself and put up boundaries and say, this is not, I'm to understand your worldview, ⁓ this aint workin you know? And I think that sometimes there's shame in like stepping back when we need to and I don't think that there should be. If we've done all that we can do to agree to agree and to listen to understand and a person just... It's one thing if they have a different worldview and it never comes up, right? That's one thing. But if a person is continuing to try to convince you to abide by their worldview or whatnot, like sometimes we just need to take a step back. But then there are people who I have been friends with since high school who have completely different world views than me and I just know what my relationship with them is. I am not going to stay at their house for a week because I know that that's not gonna be healthy for either of us. I will come down and visit. but I that this is not a person who I'm gonna vulnerable with. ⁓ I don't that loving someone ⁓ is ⁓ access, So like, I can you but can't have ⁓ to vulnerabilities, right? And so sometimes that's what it looks like in maintaining a friendship, a relationship with someone who has a different worldview. know that ⁓ we shared before we had a conversation where I was like hey like we can have this surface relationship But if we want to do for relationship we need to you know address these things and I think that that same conversation is Can go with anybody like I love you and I want to have a relationship with you I'm happy to have this relationship where all we talk about is the weather and we don't go any deeper But if we are gonna go deeper then we need to have a mutual respect for each other's way of seeing the world We need to listen to understand to have conversations where we're sharing our heart and unfortunately those things do you kind of get emotional and maybe have like a safe word ⁓ where we know like this is getting a little bit heated I feel like you're not hearing me, ⁓ whatever The idea of thinking about a person's humanity and personhood instead of just the opinions that they hold. ⁓ I think ⁓ that's something that we can all agree on. We want to be seen as the person and human that are. We don't want to be seen as just our ⁓ collection of thoughts or ideas. so once again, finding those places we can agree to agree. The shared memories, the shared values beneath the Shared memories, I if we ask ourselves, ⁓ what do we want this relationship to like, even if we don't see the world the way? I want this relationship to safe. So what does that look like for me? I don't want to feel like you've made your mind about me ⁓ and that when I'm sharing with you, you already have a idea about what I believe or what I feel about a situation. I want you to feel valued. even if I don't agree with you. ⁓ want you to feel like I, I see how you got there ⁓ don't agree with it but I can understand how you got there and if I'm thinking that your is sensible don't have to agree with your worldview, ⁓ I can see that's sensible, that makes sense. I what she's saying and how she got there. ⁓ It doesn't have to be, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. ⁓ It be sensible, it's just not the way that ⁓ I It doesn't mean that it's nonsense. there are some people's opinions that I think are nonsense ⁓ to be completely honest but I For those people who I still wanna have relationship with, I still have to respect their nonsense. ⁓ In that ⁓ I can't call an idiot, I tell them that they're stupid because that's not gonna. do anything to strengthen our connection. Right, ⁓ and that's the important thing right there. especially when it comes to, I know this has been ⁓ a lot about people, but especially when it comes to relationships between parents and their children, ⁓ I think... I just want to add here, like we said our last episode, 10 out of of us are to die. ⁓ And ⁓ our world view is not to ⁓ at all once we're dead. what I mean is if we disagree view, the fact that we disagree on a worldview and have hostility because of it, what's it going to matter ⁓ when we're dead? I think our does shape what we think happens when die, right? Yes, but there's no more about worldview. I think that what we know for sure is that us fighting today about our worldview is not going to matter our relationship once we're dead. and that will be time that we have spent living having the not so greatest relationship. ⁓ a waste of time. Yeah. For those of us who want to have connection with another, there are some people, like I that we just, ⁓ we. ⁓ I've done the evaluation, we've mathed the math, and it just don't make sense to have you in my life. It just don't make sense. But for the people who we want to have relationship with, our parents, our children, our besties, our spouses even sometimes. I people who have different world views as their spouses, as they've grown and changed and stuff. Those are people that you want to maintain connection with. During the living years. During the living years, yeah. So wow, you guys. We said deep dive. This was literally therapy a little bit for us. are trying to understand worldviews. We're trying to understand our own worldview and how it affects our lives. We're trying to see that. I have a question. Yeah. Do you think that Mira has a worldview? ⁓ She does. OK. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ She's said things before like you can't have too many questions, because then you'll have too many questions for God or something like that. ⁓ Just her little worldview, she thinks that you can have too many questions for God and we had say, ⁓ if you think that you have too many questions for God, then your idea of God is too ⁓ And so helping shape her worldview there, ⁓ Even in like what she thinks is right or wrong, ⁓ the words that she thinks are right wrong, the ⁓ behavior she thinks is right or wrong. I she does have a worldview. Yeah a little quick story year so ago when the cicada were out in full force and were at the pool with her dad and a friend And of all the places, the cicada landed down the front of my swimsuit. my God. ⁓ And ⁓ said the cuss word that begins with S ends with T. ⁓ Mira was sitting next to me and I said, I'm Mimi not have freaked out and said that cuss word. And Mira said, ⁓ I know few of those. And I'm like. ⁓ You know, and so Danielle later on asked her what were the bad words that she knew. And Mira said, one starts with a P and one starts with an F. And we're trying to figure this out. was like, oh my God, words does she know? Where did she hear those words? Because our minds are going to, you know, the worst. And she says, poopy face. Yeah. So anyway, Cuss words She knew a few of them. Yeah. But anyway, That's just a funny little story. To end. So yeah. We We want to acknowledge that this is something that we ourselves are learning about and working on and exploring and expanding and growing in. don't think when it comes to having relationships with people with different worldviews that there are any neat, tied up with a bow, here's the right solution answer. I think that. we're all just doing the best with the information that we have and if we feel like ⁓ we to have a connection with somebody with a different worldview I think these are some things that we can use to be mindful and if we feel like at the of who I am really just doesn't get along with the core of who you are like ⁓ how can respectfully know distance ourselves from that person so yeah So thanks for joining us. You Thanks for joining us on this episode of the Golden Chronicles. please Like rate Spotify Apple podcast. It super helps us. So ⁓ thank you guys for. being a part of this journey with us. We love seeing your comments. We love reading your DMs. So keep sending those our way. ⁓ Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye.