Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How could a SMART PERSON end up with a narcissist

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How could a SMART PERSON end up with a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are talking about how smart people also fall for
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  narcissist as well. Yo, if you're new here, my name
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  is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Yeah, welcome back, Welcome
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  back. Welcome back, folks.
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  So yeah, yeah, this is one of these.
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  This is one of these. So I talked to so many people.
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  Y'all. If y'all don't know, I still do
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  my one. On ones over zoom and whatnot
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  you can find those@mentalillness.net.
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  I still do those and I have some group stuff coming up in real
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  and some group stuff, some online group group coaching and
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  also some real life in person meeting events and workshops
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  coming up as well. But yes, y'all yes yes.
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  When I tell y'all this right here, please believe me when I
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  tell you this, a lot of narcissistic people will.
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  They don't just go after people or that are less educated or
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  what other people refer to as dumb people.
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  Smart, educated, highly educated people fall for narcissist
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  manipulation all the time. So when I'm doing my one on ones
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  over Zoom, I hear this all the time when people I'm when I'm
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  talking to people, they'll say Lee, I'm smart, I'm a smart
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  person. I have a doctorate, I have this.
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  Some of them are actually, you know, you know, I actually talk
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  to people all the time. Like some of them are actually
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  therapists themselves and they fall for narcissistic people.
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  They were like, I feel and some people just feel bad because
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  they fell for a narcissist, even though they are licensed
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  clinical therapist or licensed clinical social social worker.
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  You know, some of them will feel bad.
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  And I just tell people y'all just because you're smart, just
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  because you're well versed in narcissism, just because you're
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  well versed in toxic behaviours, just because you might have even
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  been in a toxic relationship before, doesn't mean that you
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  are immune to falling for the charm or the charisma or the
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  toxicity of another narcissistic person.
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  Narcissists. You know, I I hear this and I
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  see this online all the time too, where people would just say
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  narcissists go out to dumb people are like, Nah, can they?
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  I don't like using the word dumb.
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  Can can narcissists go out to less smart people?
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  You know, can can narcissists pursue those type of people?
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  Yes, y'all narcissists, they they can pursue them.
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  But a lot of narcissists go after the smart people.
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  Some narcissists will target naive, younger folks.
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  Yeah, of course. And they consider them young and
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  numb. But some of them will go after
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  highly educated, smart people because they see them as a
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  challenge. You know, they see the smart,
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  educated person as a challenge. And this is whatever gender,
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  whoever, whatever gender you are, they go after you because
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  they see it as a challenge. And they're they might be
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  attracted to that. They might be attracted to it
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  because that's something that they they themselves possess
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  because they can be equally as educated and equally as smart.
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  Or some of them go out there because that's what they lack.
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  You know, I see this. You, you see it all the time.
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  You see it like a a literally a doctor with somebody, you know,
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  barely, barely graduated high school, you know, And that
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  happened. It's not me just trying to shame
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  people to just graduate from high school, you know, that's
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  not me. That's not me.
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  That's not a shaming technique. But like I said, when people see
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  that, they're like, how did y'all end up together?
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  You know, I don't doesn't seem like y't fit, you know, But it
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  happens because like I say, wily.
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  But why does this happen? Why don't we?
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  Why don't smart people fall for narcissists?
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  Yeah, because narcissists are charming.
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  They're fun to be around a lot of time.
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  You know, it's something about like, and this is going to sound
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  weird and this is not, this is not trying to get into the
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  spiritual realm or anything like that.
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  But sometimes you deal with a narcissist.
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  Narcissistic people exude this energy that isn't attractive.
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  It's it's like an attractive energy.
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  It's an essence, you know, It's an essence that you're attracted
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  to of this person. You're like, oh, I've never
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  dated that person. But then somehow you end up
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  dating them and married with them and y'all have kids
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  together. Oh, this person is like this
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  person. When I first met them, they were
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  not even my type though, Lee. And now we're married and have
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  kids. You see what I'm saying?
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  Sometimes, yeah. Do opposites attract?
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  Yeah. But sometimes what you lack is
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  you fight. Like what you don't possess,
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  that narcissistic person does that might attract you.
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  You have this, this carnal internal attraction to this
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  person because they might have personality characteristics and
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  traits that you like. You know they might have they
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  you they might have that, they they might possess that right
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  there you know. And people like you don't have
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  to be dumb to fall for manipulation tactics.
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  Y'all, you can be as educated as as you want to be and be
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  manipulated Like you see these high level politicians that get
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  manipulate, manipulated all the time by people who are less
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  educated than them. You see people can fake it till
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  you make it manipulate, lie, cheat, steal, whatever you know
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  and it happens all the time. It really, really does.
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  That's why I tell people like this is you.
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  You can be a rocket scientist and get manipulated by a toxic
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  narcissistic person and as it it doesn't say anything less about
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  you. You can be a therapist and end
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  up with a narcissist. I talk to a therapist all the
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  time. They don't.
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  With narcissism, it's just like, it's different learning about it
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  than dealing with it in real life.
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  It's different. You know, you can learn about
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  it. You can go to school for four or
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  five, ten years to learn about gaslighting and manipulation.
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  But when you see it in real life, sometimes they sometimes
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  they play on your education. They would just say you're too
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  smart, like why and you, you'll catch it.
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  You're like, are you trying to gaslight me?
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  Are you lying to me? Like why would I try to do that
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  to you? You are like way too smart for
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  me to try to lie to and gaslight you.
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  You're way too smart to try to manipulate you.
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  They will use your education against you.
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  They will use your in that. In that example right there, I
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  just it was gaslighting. Why would I do that to you?
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  You're way too smart for that. You see I gave.
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  It's like a humble it's a compliment, but it's also a
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  manipulation right there behind it.
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  It's a compliment with some gas lighting in there.
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  Gas. The essence of gaslighting.
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  The internal essence of gaslight.
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  Like a candle like a little like a I got gaslighting incense like
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  the smell is gaslighting. What's that smell right there.
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  What smell? That's the gaslight.
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  That's how you describe gaslight.
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  The the scent of a candle. The scented candles.
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  The scent is gaslighting you like.
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  What's that smell like? What smell?
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  Gotcha. There's no smell.
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  There's no there's not there's not even a candle here.
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  That's the scent The how you describe it, you know that's how
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  you describe it. Oh that's a good that's a bit
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  somehow that's going to go into a skit.
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  I don't know how, but I'm gonna work that into a skit some way,
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  shape or form. But you don't have to be dumb to
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  fall for a narcissistic person manipulation.
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  You know, the two things do not have to be mutually exclusive.
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  You know what I mean? It just like I I tell this to
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  people all the time for manipulation.
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  Yeah, because it it happens. Now I saw an article the other
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  day saying one of the reasons that smart people fall for
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  manipulation. Because you are curious.
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  Like if you're highly educated, they mean you.
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  Like you might. You might like to do research on
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  things like that so somebody that's toxic and manipulative
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  can pique your curiosity. I saw that in the article the
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  other day, that you can pique their curiosity.
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  You can. You're open because you're smart
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  and you're educated. You're a smart person.
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  You're open to to change. You're open to different,
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  different everything. You have a level, a different
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  level of openness. So when you open like that, it
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  might be easier for a toxic narcissistic person to slide
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  into your life, especially y'all.
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  Like I said, now I see this comment in my comment sections a
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  lot too, across all my platforms.
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  When people who just outright call narcissists dumb, they're
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  like, narcissists are stupid. I'm like, y'all.
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  A lot of narcissists are. If they're not smart, they're
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  highly intuitive and they can pick up on certain things, you
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  know, this is. But some narcissists are just as
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  equally educated as you are. You know, you don't have to be
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  dumb to be a narcissist like narcissist.
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  Are there some dumb narcissists? Yes.
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  Are there some uneducated narcissists also?
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  Yes. You know what I mean?
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  Are there some narcissists that are not good at manipulation
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  also? Yes.
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  Y'all it just, it just falls into this dynamic, into this
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  space where this is going to be like a constant of what happens
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  in these relationship dynamics, you know, dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person. This is kind of the the paradigm
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  you fall into, isn't it? It is wild, you know.
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  And another reason that smart people, educated people, can
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  fall for narcissists, intelligent people can fall for
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  narcissists is you might be lonely.
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  You might be lonely and vulnerable if you like.
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  I said that. That combination right there,
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  loneliness and vulnerability, like you just lost someone.
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  You just went through a a horrible divorce, that type of
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  stuff right there. That's the perfect combination
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  for a toxic, narcissistic person to slide into your life and you
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  miss and you miss these right here.
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  You miss, you miss these right here.
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  You might miss the red flags because you're lonely and you're
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  vulnerable and you just want some company.
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  You know, it is like this person who who you might not be
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  conventionally attracted to you end up falling for because they
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  got you when you were lonely and vulnerable.
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  They fill the void, they're filling a void in your life.
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  They're filling a space in your life.
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  You know, it could be part of that right there.
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  It really, really could be. They can just get you when
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  you're going through something. They can just be there for you
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  when you're going through something.
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  You can just, they can, they can already be a friend of yours.
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  They they can be a friend of yours from child.
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  This is, this is another dynamic I see happening all the time.
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  Like they can be a childhood friend of yours that you lost
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  contact with, but you somehow y'all reconnected later on in
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  life and they get you because you trust them.
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  I've been on this person for 10 years.
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  We grew up in the same neighbourhood.
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  But they are toxic and manipulative and you might let
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  your guard down because you already know you know this
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  person, you know of this person, you knew you knew this person.
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  Let's say it like that. You knew this person years ago.
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  So you you have this level of trust for them that you normally
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  wouldn't have for anybody. A stranger of the same calibre,
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  you know? So to get into your life, y'all
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  have mutual friends. They make you laugh, they're
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  funny, they clap the cheeks or whatever, and then they get you.
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  You let your guard down. It happens.
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  Y'all. It really, really does happen.
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  You can be strong, independent, but you can be lonely and this
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  person can come slide into your life.
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  You can be just smart, as educated as you want to be, but
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  you be lonely and vulnerable. You just lost your sister, your
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  brother. You know something just
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  happened. You know you just got into a car
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  accident. You were extremely vulnerable
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  and you realize you're by yourself.
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  You know, you might be getting, you might be getting older and
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  you feel like, oh, my clock is ticking and this person just
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  pops on a dating app and lie. You know, they lied upon on a
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  dating now about their qualifications for you and
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  they're what they actually looking for and they get you,
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  you know, it happens. So don't feel bad if you are
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  educated or you're smart and a narcissist managed to manipulate
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  you. Don't feel bad about the y'all
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  because it happens to a lot of different people.
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  You know it does happen because like now I say this right here
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  in closing, the same information that's available to non
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  narcissists, the impacts of highly educated people, that
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  same information is available to narcissists online as well.
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  Y'all. Like you see me, I'm a diagnosed
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  narcissist. The same information that is
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  available to me is available to anybody else, but I use the
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  information for good. Not everybody's out here is not
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  everybody out here is going to use the same information I'm
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  using to help people. Some of them, some people will
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  use it to harm others, you know. I can't speak about who it is
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  and what is going on. Just be very weary if you follow
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  any other self aware narcissist accounts and they just
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  pretending they want to help people and they just manipulated
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  you. So anyways y'all thank you for
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  tuning in. Hope this video made sense to
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  you. Of course, if you haven't
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  already, like and subscribe and I'm out.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 11:25
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:29
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:31
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 11:35
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 11:37
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
• 11:39
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.