Latest / Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane / Why Not Today? Season 2 - Episode 5 with Steve Gurney, Positive Aging Community.

Transcript

Why Not Today? Season 2 - Episode 5 with Steve Gurney, Positive Aging Community. · Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane

• 0:00
  Hello, my name is Leslie Kane.
• 0:03
  I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast.
• 0:05
  This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, Why Not Today?
• 0:11
  I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Kane, who often did say, Why Not Today.
• 0:15
  I'm based in Reston, Virginia, a planned community right outside of Washington, D.C., and thanks
• 0:20
  for joining us today.
• 0:21
  And my guest today is somebody who was recommended, but I've known, and I can't believe we really
• 0:25
  haven't met before because there's a million connections.
• 0:30
  But today we have Steve Gurney, who is the director of Positive Aging Community.
• 0:34
  And so I would like to start with talking about connections and, you know, how we connect
• 0:39
  with people.
• 0:40
  And Steve, I've known from the Reston community, he was and still is, big into paddle boarding
• 0:45
  and knew who he was and just a couple of events when he was there.
• 0:49
  But recently I was talking to a friend of mine whose parents are going through some aging
• 0:54
  situations.
• 0:55
  I can't even talk to Steve Gurney.
• 0:57
  And then when we looked and talked to each other, it's like we both grew up in the same
• 1:00
  town.
• 1:01
  We went to the same high school.
• 1:02
  And even after Steve that we talked the other day, I mentioned you to my sister and she
• 1:06
  was at another event and your name came up and she's like, How have I heard that name?
• 1:11
  So it's so funny how that's just all the connections.
• 1:13
  So welcome.
• 1:14
  Small world.
• 1:15
  Yes, Reston is a very small world.
• 1:17
  So welcome.
• 1:18
  We're excited to have you on and talking about aging.
• 1:21
  And I'm really trying to focus on subjects that people, my audience is kind of concerned
• 1:28
  with and happening in life.
• 1:30
  And we're all the age group I'm surrounded with.
• 1:33
  And a lot of my listeners are kind of that sandwich generation.
• 1:36
  Our parents are getting older.
• 1:38
  We're getting older in lots of different situations.
• 1:40
  So I thought you'd be a great resource.
• 1:41
  So before we get started, why don't you introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about you and
• 1:45
  a fun fact that nobody would know.
• 1:48
  Oh boy.
• 1:49
  Geez.
• 1:50
  So first off, as you had mentioned, grew up in the Reston community and went away to
• 1:55
  school.
• 1:56
  And when I was in college, my grandfather needed to go to a nursing home.
• 2:03
  And I observed firsthand what my family had to go through when you have a life change
• 2:09
  like that.
• 2:10
  And it was surprising to me that there wasn't a guide that made it easier for folks to understand
• 2:19
  all the different options.
• 2:21
  When you're being discharged from a hospital and somebody tells you you got to go to a
• 2:24
  nursing home, what are the choices and where do you go and what have you.
• 2:28
  And so when I graduated, I put together a little guide at the time it was called Guide
• 2:35
  to Retirement Living.
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  I didn't think I was starting a business.
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  I just wanted something on my resume to help me get a better job.
• 2:43
  And here I am 33 years later.
• 2:46
  Wow.
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  I have a lot of publication that I publish is called the Positive Aging Source Book and
• 2:53
  it lists all the different resources in the DC metro area, how much they cost, what's
• 2:59
  included in the cost, whether it be housing or aging in place or other resources.
• 3:04
  And I've been doing that for 33 years.
• 3:07
  I sold the business to the Washington Post and I ran it under their ownership for over
• 3:13
  20 years.
• 3:14
  And about four years ago, I bought it back and I'm running it on their own again.
• 3:19
  And the pandemic is really what sort of created the new platform that I have that is much
• 3:31
  more interactive and therefore we've rebranded it the Positive Aging Community or the Pro
• 3:36
  Aging Community.
• 3:38
  And what happened is before the pandemic, I would host a lot of live and interactive
• 3:46
  events for senior living professionals that were in person.
• 3:51
  And when we couldn't meet in person, I moved our gatherings to online and over the last
• 4:01
  few years, what's happened is that those online discussions on every topic on aging,
• 4:08
  we could ever imagine, have grown from just being professionals to now all of our discussions
• 4:15
  have older adults, their loved ones and influential senior living professionals.
• 4:22
  And we talk about everything under the sun.
• 4:24
  But hopefully that wasn't too long of an...
• 4:27
  That's okay.
• 4:28
  I want to talk about some of those things.
• 4:30
  But before I do that, what's a fun fact that people would know about Steve Burney?
• 4:34
  Well, I'm going to just jump right into it because the title of your podcast is Why Not
• 4:41
  Today?
• 4:42
  And in my career, a real Why Not Today moment that I had was that I woke up one day and
• 4:50
  realized I was an expert in senior housing and in senior living.
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  And I never spent the night in one of these communities.
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  I'd interviewed hundreds of people.
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  I visited over 500.
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  I knew a lot about them.
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  I helped a lot of people make the transition, but I'd never experienced what it's like to
• 5:11
  actually live in one of these communities.
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  And it sort of struck me as it's like working in a restaurant but not eating the food.
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  And so I'm 57 now.
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  When I was 43, I moved in and I lived in five different senior living communities as a resident
• 5:29
  temporarily.
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  But it really gave me a great perspective that I've been able to share with our community
• 5:40
  members and given me a different perspective on the whole senior living industry in general.
• 5:47
  Yeah, I bet.
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  When you told me that the other day, I'm like, wow, that is definitely a Why Not Today and
• 5:52
  a Craziest Thing to Try.
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  And that was, it wasn't like just one night.
• 5:56
  But you really immersed yourself.
• 5:59
  Well, you know you're doing something right when the people in the industry that work
• 6:05
  in these communities say things like, better you than me, or why are you doing that?
• 6:11
  And it's sort of, and we can get into it a little bit later, but ideally the people that
• 6:18
  are creating and managing and working at these communities should be, we should be working
• 6:24
  in communities that we'd want to live in ourselves.
• 6:27
  So, you know, we can get to that point.
• 6:30
  Yeah, definitely want to talk about that.
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  Before we do that, what's the definition of courage to you?
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  What is courage?
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  Oh, courage.
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  Geez.
• 6:37
  This is a good question.
• 6:40
  This is like a job interview kind of.
• 6:44
  But I think, you know, I think courage is the ability, I mean, to try something that
• 6:58
  is going to make you feel uncomfortable and knowing that just by trying it, you're going
• 7:03
  to make some connections and you're going to be a better person going out the other
• 7:08
  side.
• 7:09
  That's a great definition.
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  I love the connection because I'm all about connection.
• 7:15
  Yeah, and I would say that the older we get, the more courage we get because we've seen
• 7:22
  more, we've seen that, you know, when you're a young kid and you're going into a room where
• 7:30
  you don't know anybody, how scary that can be, or the first day of school or what have
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  you, but the older we get and the more life experience we have and the more examples of
• 7:41
  courage that we exhibit and we see that life is actually better when you take those risks
• 7:46
  and move there the better it is.
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  And that's one of the benefits of having a multi-generational community is that these,
• 7:59
  the stories of courage that our elders can share with us.
• 8:03
  Yeah, that's awesome.
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  And I love that, you know, your definition and with the connections because I think that's,
• 8:11
  you know, connections make a big difference and that you're so right that, you know, when
• 8:15
  we're younger, we're afraid, you know, the things we did, they're going to be, you know,
• 8:20
  we're going to die or the boogeyman under the bed and all those things like, why did
• 8:23
  we believe all that?
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  As you get older, you're like, oh, it's not going to be that bad and it is better.
• 8:28
  Now I think the younger generation where they have the advantage of courage is they're not
• 8:33
  afraid to play on a computer or a phone.
• 8:36
  Like, you know, my mom is terrified that she's going to screw some up and she has, but kids
• 8:41
  are like, I'll try it.
• 8:42
  What the heck?
• 8:43
  What do I have to lose?
• 8:44
  Yeah, yeah.
• 8:45
  But the, you know, the whole concept of the Red Hat Society, which is a group of predominantly
• 8:53
  older women who get together and they wear these crazy red hats and these outlandish outfits.
• 9:00
  And the whole premise of that is that, you know, when we were younger, we dressed the
• 9:06
  way that they wanted us, this, that and the other.
• 9:09
  And now we're just out there, you know, strutting our stuff.
• 9:14
  And I'm willing to bet that the women that are in the red hat, that go to these events
• 9:19
  wearing the red hats and things like that, you know, if you asked them to do that in
• 9:23
  their 20s or 30s, no way, I'm not going to do that.
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  But, you know, the whole, I think that whole club was sort of formed on courage and having
• 9:32
  courage together and being with a community.
• 9:35
  I never thought about that group, but that's a great group that represents courage.
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  I need to find somebody to interview.
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  I know they have like the younger group of that is the Purple Hat Group.
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  The Purple Hat Group.
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  Oh, geez.
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  Yeah.
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  But I didn't, you know, obviously know more senior people and I did get more involved
• 9:52
  in the senior community teaching water works for 13 years.
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  And there's so many things I learned in a pool with these older adults, so many things
• 10:01
  I could share.
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  So I love your business and what you're doing and helping.
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  I love the community.
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  And I think that's the one thing my friend Leanne, which is like, you need to talk about
• 10:10
  this, Steve, is that I am all about connection and community and come by it naturally as
• 10:14
  my dad was a community, was a city planner and was all about community and his company
• 10:19
  was community development and so many things in aging.
• 10:23
  So I know you've done a lot of other things in your life courageous, but let's talk about
• 10:29
  the aging world and what are some of the things that I think, you know, it does take
• 10:35
  courage to face things we don't know.
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  And there's so many things we don't know in the aging.
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  And I think a lot of people are kind of afraid to look at it.
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  So talk to me about some of the things that you've learned or I know we talked about a
• 10:47
  couple of different subjects before we came on about things that people need courage to
• 10:53
  do and really they're not that bad that you just need to say why not today and do it.
• 10:57
  Yeah, exactly.
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  And I would say that the first thing in terms of why not today is to have conversations about
• 11:06
  your future.
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  And this like you should be doing this through the entire lifespan is that, you know, is
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  talking with your circle of friends and family about, you know, the future and the next chapters
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  in your life.
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  But as we grow older, and we're all growing older, and this is the whole thing we use
• 11:32
  aging the wrong way aging starts on the delivery room table.
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  It doesn't start with an AARP card.
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  Everybody is aging at the exact same rate who's alive, who's lucky enough to be alive.
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  And we need to remind ourselves of that.
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  But as we grow older, there are some things that there's no crystal ball, there's no guarantee
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  anything is going to happen to us.
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  But you know, there's a better chance that your mobility might be compromised.
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  There's a potential chance that you could, you know, develop things like dementia and
• 12:08
  Alzheimer's.
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  The older you get the higher the percentage it goes.
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  And no matter and none of us have a crystal ball.
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  So having conversations in advance is the first thing that is why not today.
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  Now, I mentioned we have these weekly discussions on my in my community and our number one topic
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  is the topic of solo aging.
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  Okay, and solo aging, I love this discussion topic, because it's a conversation that we
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  can all have.
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  Now, a lot of times, when people hear the term solo aging, they instantly think about,
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  Oh, you know, somebody who never married and doesn't have any family around, that's a solo
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  age or and yeah, that is probably a definition of a solo age or and and most people in this
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  category are very empowered because they recognize that they don't have a safety net
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  that I've got to plan.
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  I've got to think about what happens if I have, you know, a surgery, who's going to
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  bring me home from the house and how am I going to be taken care of and things like that.
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  And most people who define themselves as solo ages are in that bucket.
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  But what I love doing is going to a barbecue or something like that and the topic of solo
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  aging pops up and somebody looks at me kind of funny.
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  And I was like, Hey, not something that you really need to worry about.
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  And they're like, Well, yeah, I've got three kids.
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  It's like, Okay, let me ask you something.
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  What are the chances that you and your partner are going to pass away at the same time?
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  Well, that's probably not going to happen.
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  So one of you is going to live the other.
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  And then those three kids, do you really want them taking care of you if something happened?
• 14:03
  Well, no.
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  And so put it in our turn of like, yeah, the people around you on what would happen if
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  I was by myself in the future and who could I turn to?
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  It's very important because if something happens and you haven't had those conversations, usually
• 14:30
  you're going to be, you know, disrupting somebody's life.
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  And none of us really want to do that.
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  So yeah, my mom's in a situation with a neighbor who is younger than my mother has dementia
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  and isn't married.
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  She's divorced.
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  Her family's not close physically.
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  They weren't really that close at all.
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  And my mother and another neighbor are taking care of this woman who's got dementia.
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  I'm like, we need to get other resources.
• 15:02
  So yeah, so as far as your community and people, your discussions, is that open to anybody?
• 15:08
  It's a.
• 15:09
  Absolutely.
• 15:10
  Yeah.
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  If you just go to the website, proaging.com, that's probably the easiest way to get there.
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  You'll see recordings of over 300 discussions that we've had and podcasts.
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  And then you'll also see the schedule of what we've got coming up.
• 15:28
  And, you know, I think that the live and interactive nature of our discussions is what
• 15:34
  makes them a lot of fun and very interesting and also a great resource to get questions
• 15:43
  answered and make connections that can solve the things that you're thinking about today.
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  And so we welcome any and all to join in.
• 15:54
  And we have so many of these things.
• 15:56
  It's sort of like there's there's probably one that you might find interesting.
• 16:00
  Yeah, that's awesome.
• 16:01
  Yeah.
• 16:02
  And I will definitely link your information, the show notes of all the discussions because
• 16:06
  I have so many friends that are having that situation.
• 16:09
  I never thought I'd you hear about it, but you never thought you'd be in a situation of
• 16:13
  your own aging and the shifting of the demographic is occurring.
• 16:19
  And there's lots of positive things about that.
• 16:23
  Excuse me.
• 16:24
  And and there's lots of challenging things about that.
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  You know, we're going to have more people over the age of 65 than we've ever had in
• 16:32
  history.
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  We've got workplace shortages and and the, you know, some of the positive things is
• 16:38
  technology is developing.
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  But one of the things that you just mentioned there is that a lot of my friends are going
• 16:47
  through this with their parents.
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  And what that is doing is that's essentially training for our future elders.
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  And because so many people basically say, I never knew this stuff existed.
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  I never knew how expensive it is.
• 17:06
  I never knew that this was going to take this much work.
• 17:09
  And now that they're experiencing that firsthand, hopefully I hear this on a regular basis is
• 17:18
  I'm going to take steps so that my kids don't have to go through this, or I'm going to take
• 17:22
  steps so that since I'm by myself that I've got a network that can help me if something
• 17:29
  happens.
• 17:30
  Right.
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  So yeah, let's talk about that.
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  So somebody that's like, all right, I need to prepare.
• 17:35
  They're going to be proactive.
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  And what, what are your resources?
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  What are the resources people have?
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  How can we get educated and be courageous to say why not today now?
• 17:46
  Instead of when we're in crisis, which really usually was what happens.
• 17:50
  Like I am blessed.
• 17:51
  I'm one of six kids.
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  So my dad has had had some health issues and had a stroke and then did pass away.
• 17:58
  But you know, there were six of us, well, five, because one of my siblings has down syndrome,
• 18:02
  so she wasn't a big player in it.
• 18:04
  But you know, we all kind of fell in our roles of who did what and had had resources, but
• 18:12
  I've got friends that are only children.
• 18:14
  And I'm like, how the heck do you do that?
• 18:17
  Well, I mean, Leslie, you're really, you're really fortunate to have a tight knit family
• 18:22
  that communicates because a lot of times the only child has a lot easier than six varying
• 18:29
  opinions of what should, what should happen.
• 18:32
  I can't say everything's always smooth, but we do pretty much fall in our roles.
• 18:36
  I have one brother that will quiz a doctor till he's blue in the face.
• 18:42
  The doctor helps me.
• 18:43
  So I'm like, okay, Brian's like, well, why didn't you ask this?
• 18:46
  Why didn't you?
• 18:47
  I'm like, I don't know.
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  That's your job.
• 18:49
  Yeah.
• 18:50
  So how do we go ahead of this?
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  And what do we do?
• 18:52
  Yeah.
• 18:53
  So number one is to familiarize yourself with, you know, the resources that are out there
• 18:58
  and that, you know, folks can get the positive aging source book to just kind of see the
• 19:04
  different resources that are available or just go to proaging.com.
• 19:09
  But I think free book you get free of charge.
• 19:13
  And but the, I think the most important thing is to have conversations about these types
• 19:22
  of decisions that might happen.
• 19:24
  And they, they, they might not happen too.
• 19:27
  But one of the easiest ways to do this is like you have just had, you know, you shared
• 19:32
  a story about a neighbor that has Alzheimer's and no real family caregivers is, you know,
• 19:41
  talking to your circle of friends and your network of support and your kids and your
• 19:45
  best friend about, hey, you know, I got this neighbor who has dementia and there's no caregivers
• 19:52
  there.
• 19:53
  Do you ever think about what you would do if you had dementia?
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  And just have a conversation about it.
• 20:00
  The it's, it's very hard because we feel like like it's like having a conversation about
• 20:08
  death and dying.
• 20:10
  It's hard to have that because we feel like, oh, wow, I don't want to talk about that.
• 20:15
  You know, well, I mean, if you don't talk about it, then your support network doesn't
• 20:22
  know what your wishes are if you are reaching end of life.
• 20:26
  And while I, while these are difficult conversations to have, I feel that the conversations that
• 20:37
  I have on this topic and I have so many these days are some of the most deep and meaningful
• 20:44
  and thought provoking conversations that I'm a part of.
• 20:47
  And so it really is one of these why not today is is that, you know, just, just have a conversation
• 20:56
  with your family, you know, let them know what you want.
• 20:59
  Now I'm going to give your listeners kind of one sort of word of wisdom here is that
• 21:06
  oftentimes these conversations when you talk about, let's say that you're talking with
• 21:12
  a parent or loved one about a neighbor that moved to a senior living community.
• 21:17
  A lot of times what, what somebody will say is, oh, don't ever take me to one of those
• 21:22
  places.
• 21:23
  I want to go to one of those places.
• 21:26
  That's an opportunity to sort of, hey, why don't we go have lunch and visit our friend
• 21:33
  who's there at that place.
• 21:36
  And because I'm a little concerned that, you know, that you're digging your heels in,
• 21:44
  what if you're you were lonely and isolated and all alone at home, what if your home was
• 21:50
  no longer safe and opening that door because I can tell you there are so many adult children
• 21:56
  that I talked to that basically mom said she never wanted to go to one of those places.
• 22:03
  And now they're, they're moving heaven and earth to meet that wish.
• 22:09
  And it's not necessarily the healthiest setup for the individual.
• 22:16
  But I know through your services you provide, you give suggestions of good facilities.
• 22:22
  Well what we, we work more.
• 22:24
  Yeah.
• 22:25
  So, so, and that's, you know, I, we could do a whole another hour, but I'll sort of
• 22:30
  amend it is, is that, you know, we, there's no best place out there.
• 22:37
  Okay.
• 22:38
  But, but here's some tips on how to find the best place for your mom and dad or yourself
• 22:44
  is that number one, having you or your loved ones be part of the community.
• 22:52
  It's similar to go into school.
• 22:55
  When you drop your kid off at school, you don't just drop them off and, and, and, and
• 22:59
  you're on your way, you join the PTA, you get to know the teachers, you become part
• 23:04
  of that community.
• 23:05
  And so that's the best thing that you need to do if your loved one is, is thinking about
• 23:11
  making a move and so the best, one of the things is try to find a place that's easy
• 23:17
  to visit so you can pop in and you can be part of the community.
• 23:20
  The second thing that I tell people is, is that I want you to pretend that you're not
• 23:25
  shopping for an old folks home, but you're looking for the next college that you're going
• 23:29
  to and college kids go on campuses.
• 23:34
  They don't care about the square footage of their dorm room.
• 23:37
  They look at the other students and that's what you want to do when you look at these
• 23:41
  places is that you want to look at the other residents.
• 23:45
  You want to look at the faculty or the staff.
• 23:49
  And I just remind people it's don't, it's great if you find a beautiful place with
• 23:55
  wonderful walls, but it's not about the walls.
• 23:58
  It's the people working and living within those walls.
• 24:01
  Absolutely.
• 24:02
  Yeah, we had many instances where my father was in rehab, senior facilities, different
• 24:09
  situations and they aren't all good.
• 24:12
  And they're definitely some good and some great people we worked with, but then there
• 24:17
  were some not so good.
• 24:18
  And I think there's a whole other subject of how to educate families, how to navigate
• 24:24
  through these systems and know the right questions to ask and who to talk to and not just take,
• 24:30
  I mean, I could tell story after story of crazy adventures.
• 24:33
  Probably the funniest story of my dad is just to share one of his antics is he was in the
• 24:40
  hospital and he had had stroke, so he had left neglect.
• 24:42
  So when he ate, he had a hard time seeing the left side of the plate.
• 24:45
  His left arm didn't really work.
• 24:47
  So he was in the hospital for something else at Reston Hospital.
• 24:50
  And the nurse brought his food and he couldn't find the fork, whatever.
• 24:55
  He couldn't find the nursing thing to call the nurse.
• 24:58
  He couldn't figure out where it was.
• 25:00
  So he got a call from a politician on a cell phone asking to the politician for him, my
• 25:06
  dad, to vote for him.
• 25:07
  He goes, tell you what, if you call the nursing station on such and such a floor, Reston Hospital,
• 25:11
  and send a nurse to my room to help me eat my breakfast, I'll vote for you.
• 25:15
  And they did.
• 25:16
  Oh, wow.
• 25:17
  And he wrote a local paper about it.
• 25:18
  That's one of the best stories I've heard.
• 25:22
  That is great.
• 25:23
  There was a story in the local Reston paper about it thanking the person, but you know,
• 25:27
  he was definitely a find a way kind of guy.
• 25:31
  And sometimes you have to do that.
• 25:33
  So absolutely.
• 25:34
  And that's really, I mean, my advice to folks is you got to be the squeaky wheel.
• 25:39
  You got to be present in the community.
• 25:42
  And one of the things, I mean, the benefit that your dad had with six kids, and, you
• 25:47
  know, I can only imagine when he was in the hospital or in other settings, the stream
• 25:52
  of visitors that he had.
• 25:54
  And this is, it's kind of, you know, the other term that used to be used, not solo aging,
• 26:03
  it was elder orphans.
• 26:05
  And I, it's such a sad term, but a visit to any nursing home, you will see there are
• 26:12
  residents in there that don't have any visitors.
• 26:15
  And it's really sad because it's, they're relying on different people to advocate for
• 26:24
  them other than their loved ones.
• 26:25
  Yeah.
• 26:26
  I do a program through Mary Kay where we do an adoptive mom or adopt a grandparent providing
• 26:31
  gifts and we've taken gifts to the nursing homes and facilities.
• 26:34
  And there's some people, yeah, that never have visitors.
• 26:37
  No, they've, you know, they've out, a lot of people have outlived their whole family.
• 26:43
  And then there's, there's folks that, you know, maybe they never married and had a family
• 26:49
  and they're, and they're remaining family members are as old as they are and they're
• 26:54
  all over the country.
• 26:57
  It really, it really is tough and we need to, we need to support these folks.
• 27:02
  Yeah, we need to build community and be there.
• 27:04
  And I know that my water resource class was a tight-knit community.
• 27:07
  People knew we had an email list of people that were sick or something happened or we
• 27:11
  were there for them.
• 27:13
  So I think a big message here is, you know, to build those relationships, those communities,
• 27:18
  and those discussions.
• 27:19
  I was thinking when you were talking about those questions, you know, those games you
• 27:24
  can get now, like cards against humanity, you ask all these questions, we need an aging
• 27:29
  question game, like to ask those hard questions, you know, maybe it was a couple drinks in
• 27:34
  you.
• 27:35
  No, they've got those.
• 27:37
  No, they've got those because there's a big movement for advanced directives, meaning
• 27:47
  like the whole conversation about, you know, when would you want us to, you know, pull
• 27:54
  feeding tubes and things of that nature.
• 27:57
  And it is, there are some really creative games out there.
• 28:02
  I'll send you a link and you can throw it in.
• 28:04
  Yeah, so we'll definitely share your contact information because I think it's a great subject
• 28:09
  that we need to talk about more.
• 28:10
  And that's one of the reasons I wanted you on here and to be able to share some of your
• 28:13
  content, which I'm hoping to do on the website because it's a subject we only talk about
• 28:18
  it.
• 28:19
  Yeah, so what courage would you or what would you say to somebody to empower somebody to
• 28:25
  be courageous?
• 28:26
  Oh, man.
• 28:27
  Well, you know, I got two kids and these are a lot of the conversations that you have
• 28:35
  with your children are centered around this topic, whether we frame it that way or not.
• 28:43
  But, you know, I think that it's taking taking a risk and taking a chance as long as it's
• 28:57
  healthy and it's, you know, something that is not harming any Friday and each way.
• 29:12
  Oh, wow.
• 29:13
  Okay.
• 29:14
  It's like a healthy and then you first.
• 29:20
  Okay.
• 29:21
  I think when when you frame it that way, and this is off the top of my head, but it's
• 29:26
  sort of like when we take risks and we prepare for them properly, it's like we're entering
• 29:35
  a secret passageway.
• 29:37
  And when we go through that passageway, we're going to be a different person and we're going
• 29:44
  to, we're going to have a new experience that can help us be a better person and help us
• 29:51
  share a better share life experience with others.
• 29:57
  All right.
• 29:58
  I love that definition.
• 29:59
  I think that's going to be my new tagline.
• 30:01
  I love that.
• 30:03
  Yeah.
• 30:04
  That and I've had lots of discussions obviously around the courage and doing those things
• 30:08
  and they don't have to be big.
• 30:10
  They're just those little things and I'm even listened to a podcast the other day about
• 30:14
  decluttering and organizing that are totally different.
• 30:18
  But the subject, the way she turned it around, which I've shared this many times is like
• 30:22
  when you're decluttering, it's like just doing that one thing, you're leaving a situation
• 30:27
  better.
• 30:28
  And so just doing that little thing, making you better and being courageous and just those
• 30:33
  little steps give you courage to do the next thing and the next thing.
• 30:37
  And I think he was quoting somebody else, but my good friend, Len Fork, I'm going to
• 30:45
  introduce you to, who's climbing Mount Everest right now by the way.
• 30:50
  But he shared a statement with me from somebody and its action creates opportunity is that
• 30:59
  when we say something like, oh, I'm not ready yet or I'm not going to do this or what have
• 31:07
  you or I'm scared, you're missing an opportunity.
• 31:12
  You always want to be in action and we always want to be improving ourselves because we
• 31:17
  improve the world when we improve ourselves.
• 31:19
  Yes, love that.
• 31:21
  Thank you.
• 31:22
  Yeah, we can talk forever and ever.
• 31:23
  We want to want to keep you.
• 31:24
  No, no, no, this is great.
• 31:25
  So I always at the end kind of tie back to connecting to my dad and people like, why didn't
• 31:30
  know your dad?
• 31:31
  And you probably ran into my dad at somewhere.
• 31:34
  I definitely remember him and and and I, but I didn't realize that all those years that
• 31:43
  I was paddleboarding there on Lake Ann, I was basically paddling right in front of his house.
• 31:48
  Yes.
• 31:49
  So yes, all the connections you're talking about, first of all, community, he was all
• 31:52
  about community.
• 31:55
  You being on the lake and paddleboarding, he, we lived on the lake and he worked at Lake
• 32:01
  Ann.
• 32:02
  And he, there weren't paddleboards in the day, but he went with he ice skated, he swam,
• 32:08
  he sailed, he windsurfed, canoed, whatever way he made it to work at some point.
• 32:14
  And then the other thing he said you did, which is your snowboarding, instructing, and
• 32:21
  work with people with disabilities or adaptive.
• 32:25
  So my dad asked her, he had a stroke and remember he had an eye patch on from high school.
• 32:29
  So it didn't have one eye and then he had a stroke, but we, that's another thing.
• 32:35
  I'm legally blind in one eye.
• 32:36
  I've been in the way since birth.
• 32:38
  He was too, but he had an eye patch.
• 32:42
  But he, we went to Blue Knob one time and they had the adaptive ski patrol people taking
• 32:47
  them out on the slope and he went and it was so cold.
• 32:51
  I don't know if you've ever skied at Blue Knob, it's freezing.
• 32:54
  And he came back and his mustache was frozen like solid.
• 32:58
  He was frozen, but the smile on his face and the joy that he's like, I got to go skiing.
• 33:05
  And even after a stroke, he still went body surfing.
• 33:08
  He got a PVC pipe and a, and a, we did put a safety vest, a life jacket on him, which
• 33:15
  normal he wouldn't wear, but he went, you know, he did it all when he was older.
• 33:19
  You never know.
• 33:20
  Why not today?
• 33:21
  Yeah.
• 33:22
  Why not today?
• 33:23
  Exactly.
• 33:24
  Well, Steve, thank you so much.
• 33:25
  This has been awesome.
• 33:26
  And we're going to share the resources.
• 33:27
  We're going to have you share links to how to get in touch with you.
• 33:30
  Show notes.
• 33:32
  And we will have more discussions, I'm sure.
• 33:35
  And thanks again.
• 33:36
  And I'm looking forward to maybe we'll physically meet sometime for coffee or something.
• 33:40
  I'll see you on the bottom somewhere because I'm always around resting.
• 33:42
  Oh, and back to other connection.
• 33:44
  Your son, I think we mentioned.
• 33:45
  He was working at ZX and I was, he said one day his name or you and I'm like, I know
• 33:51
  who your dad is.
• 33:52
  Never really met him, but all over the world.
• 33:54
  He was a great kid.
• 33:55
  I love what you're doing too and the concept of this podcast is wonderful.
• 34:00
  Well, thank you.
• 34:01
  All right.
• 34:02
  Well, thanks again and thanks everybody for watching.
• 34:04
  You can always check out the podcast on, we're on all the sources.
• 34:07
  Three yard.
• 34:08
  Now we're on YouTube.
• 34:09
  You can see YouTube, iTunes, Google.
• 34:13
  We do have a website, why not say podcast.com.
• 34:16
  And we do have gear and swag.
• 34:18
  If you want a T-shirt or a cup or a vinyl, I'll think in the other day too.
• 34:21
  We might be journal to journal those brave courageous things we're doing.
• 34:26
  So we're looking to do some fun things and collaborate with other people.
• 34:29
  So thanks again for watching and thanks Steve for joining us.
• 34:32
  Don't forget, say why not today?