Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / The Green Flags You NEED In Your Next Relationship with Ashley Hebert & Whitney Angel: Will You Accept This Advice?

Transcript

The Green Flags You NEED In Your Next Relationship with Ashley Hebert & Whitney Angel: Will You Accept This Advice? · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio. Hi everybody,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: it's Trista and I'm back with Ashley A. Bear and
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Whitney Angel.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Can I say something else like this might be controversial,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: and I don't know if you feel this way, think
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: of everything that's been going on lately, like think about like.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Sorry not to get political, I'm not trying to, but
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say the Epstein.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Files, like look at like all the men spending so
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: much money on of Like wait, what's o f OnlyFans?
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I no, Like there's like this or the feet picks.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I thought, there's a lot of these underground things with men,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: like weird thing with men. So there's part of me
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: as a woman's like, oh, hell no, like you don't
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: know what you're getting into. No, no, no, I'm being serious,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: like like there's a part of me that I know
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: you're not supposed to generalize all men, but there's a
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: lot of men doing some weird stuff.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Anyone else, So that anyone else, Yeah, when they're dating,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about that. You go on a date in
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: your worried you're like, what are you? In the Epstein Files?
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: You fan?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: You're at my feet like how are you spending your mind?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's like conspiracy theory, but like for me, I'm like, men,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: there's something going on Like with.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: Me, you're you know what, Okay, we've got to get
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: you back. We're going to rain you back into you know,
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: kind of how you were before.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Like men, trust you choose after seeing all this stuff.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I get that, but also take me
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: and Whitney as as people who you can you know,
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: be assured there are good men.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Are good men.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're good as I promise.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I bet you guys have good men. I do, but
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: but you never know. I see Ricky staring at my
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: feet tonight, You're gonna be like, where did that money go? Yeah,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: it's like what's this stamon for?
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Not just chucking JK JK. But there's part of me
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: that has like this like weird feeling.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Hopefully it'll pass. There's just too many
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: like men things happening right now.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I hear that.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It's a lot like it would.
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: Be like a safer I feel like maybe it should
• 2:32
  Speaker 5: be happened.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I think we are just being smarter, is that what?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Right, So you just have to be smarter, Ashley.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: You just have to be like you just have to
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: be like, listen, I'm not dealing with this, and I'm
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: not dealing with this and I'm not doing.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Your credit card. Let me go talk in your in
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: your dresser.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: Right after the first day, you're like, so to get
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: on a second date, these are the thing I have
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: to do.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Let me check your safe on your phone?
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah okay, wait, so next year is ten years?
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: With ten years?
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: No, where the time is going?
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: That's amazing.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: So what are the green flags that you saw and
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: your husband and still see to this day.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Oh, I have so many. I mean, I just I
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: don't want to be that girl, but I really do.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: I mean, he just oh, come on, be that girl.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, be that girl.
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: From the very beginning, I think the number one thing
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: was the steadiness, as I mentioned before, no games, no questioning,
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: emotional stability and safety. That to me important because I
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: was coming out of something that I felt completely out
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: of control and in state plane.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So that's number one.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: Number two is that he is a great dad, and
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: you know, I see him when we're talking about having fun.
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: He's always the first person out there like having fun.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: With the kids.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I almost look up to him.
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: I'm like, wow, I look up to how you are
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: a dad like because I didn't have that growing up.
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: I didn't have a fatherly figure. So I see that
• 4:08
  Speaker 5: in him and that is something that fills my cup.
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: But more than anything is that he he listens to me.
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: I think that's another thing. Even when things are not
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  Speaker 5: necessarily like going swimmingly in life, you know, I feel
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  Speaker 5: that I can confidently sit down and be honest about
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  Speaker 5: how I'm feeling and he listens. We don't always have
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: all the answers, we don't always see id eye, but
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  Speaker 5: just having someone that say, I'm going to listen to
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: how you're feeling, and then we can kind of conquer
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: this together, and I feel like I truly just have
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: a teammate in life. Again, it's not always perfect. It's
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: not always rainbows and butterflies. I'm not sitting here trying
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: to pretend that it is. But I do feel confident
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: that there's nothing that I couldn't come to him with
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: or bring to him that we couldn't attack together.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Unless it's feet picks. That is what I think that we.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: Would not be able that would that would definitely not work, So.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't have brought that up.
• 5:00
  Speaker 6: Oh I love it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I do like what you're saying. There are good guys
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: out there, and I have.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, are there, Yes, there are there are?
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Maybe not in Miami. No, I'm just kidding.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: In Miami.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Actually I know.
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  Speaker 4: I was there for seven years and I had to
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: leave to find my guy.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, Yeah, sorry Miami men.
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: Sorry, what about.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: You, Trista, What are your green flags? Tristella's here?
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: I mean I feel like very similar to yours in
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: that he's just a good guy. You know. I was
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: very attracted to how genuine he was and his integrity
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: and his willingness to do the right thing. I mean,
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: he's a firefighter, so like that kind of comes with
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: the territory. So I wanted someone who was a good person.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: And because I had been hurt in previous relationships, I
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: really wanted to protect my heart. So looking for those
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: those flags of like someone who you know isn't going
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: to hurt you, that you feel safe with, like at
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: your core, you feel safe with. He was kind of
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: my not kind of like I think I even said
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: it in my wedding vows, Like he just made me
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: feel safe like a safety blanket, you know, and we
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: have so much fun. Going back to the fun we
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: you know, he is my best friend and he is
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: somebody that I have fun with.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: He makes me laugh.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: I think that's the one of the biggest green flags,
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: is if someone can make you laugh, Like I need
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: that in my life, especially now, and it's it's just
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: so important to like be able to find joy because
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: there are going to be hard days in everyone's life.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: There's going to be stuff, and just being able to
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: to laugh is so important. Obviously being in love is
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: a big thing, and not wanting to be with anyone
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: else and trusting each other and respecting each other and communicating,
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: you know, all of the things. Like you said something
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: about cliche Whitney, and I feel like cliches are there
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: for a reason because there's truth to them, you know.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: And the cliche is, you know, find someone that you
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: can't live without is you know, a big part of
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: my my green flag because I didn't want to live
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: without him.
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  Speaker 2: So I feel like your personality is also like your
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: pack since you're more like outgoing social like he's a
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: bit more calm personality.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's a really nice balance for you
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: guys too.
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  Speaker 3: Is that you too, Whitney, is that you?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Absolutely?
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm definitely I love I get an energy
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: from going out and being social, and he definitely is
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: fine with you know, let's just stay in and we
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: do balance each other. We're a lot similar in some ways,
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: but I think that is one that we are different.
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I have recently been talking to people about that,
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: Like the opposites attract thing. There's something to it that,
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: you know, being able to like not be kind of
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: against each other in energy, if you know what I mean,
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  Speaker 4: like fighting each other's energy if you are like similar
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  Speaker 4: in personality is great because yes, you're right, I can
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: go out and I can be with my girlfriends and
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: I can go have a good time, like Whitney when
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: we were in Mexico or Ashley when we were at
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: the Bachelorette reunion.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Like you know, you go have your girl time.
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  Speaker 4: And you fuel up with that kind of energy, and
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: then you come home and you're able to like just
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: chill and enjoy what you enjoy at home with the
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  Speaker 4: person who like is okay with enjoying just being on
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: the couch and watching a movie.
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: So I say, like I lived my life like I
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: am a very like let's see, very type a like
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  Speaker 5: I My blood pressure is always all over the place,
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  Speaker 5: and he's just like that steady balance, like nothing gets
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: him too you know, anxious or down about anything. He's
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: just always kind of like level headed. And I need
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: that because I can't imagine if I was with someone
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: that was as chaotic as my brain as sometimes right
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: right all over the place.
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: What are the one last question, Ashley, what are the
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: green flags that you're looking for, like as someone who
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: has been divorced, and not just about your particular divorce,
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  Speaker 4: but I feel like just at your your age, since
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: you're older with kids, what are the green flags that
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: are important to you?
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Good question for sure for me, Like I'm not a
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: serious person at all, Like I can't be too serious
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: for a long period of time, So I need someone
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: like that, like light heart likes to have fun, like
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: something happens, like just kind of let it blow over,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: because you know, JP is a very serious person, very
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: very serious. So for me being lighthearted and fun and
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: prioritizing fun obviously, all the things that I was telling
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: you about, like all the reservations I have about men,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: like in terms of their trust ability and a good person.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Like I feel like on a day to day you
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: can tell if someone's a good person when they're put
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: in situations where they have the choice of like making
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: the right like doing the right thing. So good person,
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: having fun. I also think somebody that is willing to
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: put you first. Does that make sense, just like, yeah,
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: for sure, willing to put you first.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, prioritize you.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of other things I could talk about,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: but I think those are great. Those are good.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, those are great. I feel like they're important. I
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: feel like for anyone out there, just prioritizing making priorities,
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: because that's that's kind of how I exist, is whatever
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: is my priority for that day. If something is on
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: the calendar, like just you know, an hour ago, I
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: was like, okay, I have to do the podcast, and
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: then I have to go do this and that and
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: the other thing. So I need to prioritize those things.
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: But if my kid is calling, which when I was
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: looking at my phone early in this podcast, my daughter
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: was calling, so I was like, okay, well the priority
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: is at least I have to just let her know
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: that I'm doing a podcast, and I can't answer her phone. Right,
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: But yeah, it's all about priorities, and I feel like
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: that that I feel like.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: A priority in Ryan's life. And I'm sure Whitney you
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: feel that that way with Ricky. So Ah, you guys
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: are the best.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: You are the best. Ashley was so good to meet you,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: to meet you too. I'm glad that. Yeah, we got
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: to kind of get to know each other this y.
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: Now I feel like I've always said, I want them
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: to do a reunion of everyone, not just not just leads,
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: you know, like we've been lucky enough to experience a
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: couple times with.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Bachelorette, But I would love to get in a room.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: I mean it would be it would take hours and
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: hours and hours, like I would be busy drained afterwards,
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: but it would be so much fun.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: But where would we even do that? Can you imagine?
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: Like this?
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: I can't.
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: Miami, Babby, Diami.
• 12:12
  Speaker 6: I'm the beach.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: I love you both. Thank you so much.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, have a great day.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.