Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 41. Redefining Success as a WOC and First Generation Immigrant with Kat Magsaysay

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41. Redefining Success as a WOC and First Generation Immigrant with Kat Magsaysay · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Are you recovering control freak?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_03: Workaholic and crave taking a chill pill, but scared.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, how will I still make money?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_03: How am I gonna pay for the bills?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: What if I told you it's possible?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: What if I shared vulnerably with you, with my former client and friend and now event manager?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: How we went from the oh, look how filled my calendar is, badge of honor to I don't know when we could talk because I'm traveling.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm traveling so much.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: So get ready for an episode where I get vulnerable with Kat on our journeys to redefining our own joy.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: Now, let's drop the beat.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: Hey legacy maker, I'm your host and MC, Elaine Lucartis, business and career coach for Women of Color and Allies.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: And welcome to the Call Your Dreams Podcast, where we have conscious conversations to help you create a business or career that is sustainable, abundant, and equitable to the lifestyle you deserve.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Because our ancestors sacrificed so much so we can have this life of choice.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Now, grab your coffee, tea, and boba, and let's call your dreams to create your legacy.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: Hey legacy makers.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: So I have the beautiful Catherine McSay.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, it's such a full name, by the way.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: Don't worry about it.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely not my full name.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So we're we'll use that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh sorry, Katherine Nicole McSayce.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Still not my full name.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: We'll go with that.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, sorry.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna call her by cat.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_03: So a cat is many things in my life.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: Careful now.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Careful now.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Albert, everything's gonna be fine.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: Friend, a former client.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: We met four years ago at my first event.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: And now I've hired Kat to do my own events and retreats.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're wondering why it's so amazing, Kat is the reason.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: So Kat is a project manager, and I was just telling her right before I hit record, does all the things that brings her joy.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: Did you like my intro?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: Is that good enough?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I appreciate it because you know how much I hate titles.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, title, I was just describing you, okay?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I do all the things, and you know that used to make you know when people are like, oh, they do all the things, and then it just like kind of like irks you now.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even let that bother me because that used to be like a oh, people should know what I do.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, you don't need to know what I'm doing.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I know in this episode because we were doing a friend talk right before, we had to like allot 90 minutes for this call because we we never do work when we talk.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_03: We hire each other, but in the first we talk to do work.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: No, we do work for 10 minutes.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: And the majority of the time a lot of catching up a lot of 90 minutes to catch up.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: But we want to talk about redefining work, success, and joy for you because for both of us in 2022, because this episode's gonna drop in 2023, have redefined what that feels looks like for us.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: And even when we're planning, I'm gonna put air quotes planning for 2023, like whatever the world's gonna give us.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: So, Kat, what how else can you share about yourself and brag about yourself?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my name is Kat.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I am the owner and CEO of Say Say Experience, but a lot of people know me as Consciously Bougie.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever you may, we'll we'll drop all of those at the end.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: You can follow her on Instagram, by the way, Consciously Bougie.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to dance with me on Instagram, we can do that too.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, I mean, I think really how I could describe myself right now, uh, at this very present moment, hashtag our book 4,000 weeks.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: We'll we'll drop that in the the podcast notes later, too.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is that I think I'm living life on my own terms and not on the terms of what society has actually tried to push on me for so many years.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I can officially feel like I can say that.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Does that just does that kind of drop into what we're talking about?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and for those of you that can't see us, we're both what first generation immigrants, our parents are immigrants, and and understanding and honoring the sacrifices they've made, right?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: To now it's like, wait, we get to choose how we want to live our life, and not just by occupation and work, but just life in general.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: We get to choose, and like I love that you brought that.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've I love how you like really segued that in there because I guess in the last year, everything, I mean, everything that we do is a choice, right?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But like in the last year, to be so intentional with choosing every single decision instead of letting life choose for me, and I'm the one choosing.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, maybe you don't need 35 to 45 clients in a year constantly pressing the gas on you and you going through mental breakdowns and all of that.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a soft life this year, as they call it, right?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you have a slow and steady and nourishing year.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like we talked about this earlier, how we're so used to our foot on the gas pedal, but like, is it our choice that our foot is on that gas pedal?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, is it our choice, or is it that we're letting society choose for us constantly because it's like what it's supposed to look like, right?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: We came from like even four years ago, you and I had talked about this, which society is very different four years ago, where it was like girl boss mentality, hustle your way, burnout looks great, you know, and does not look four years later.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Does not look good four years later.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: We got a bunch of exhausted ass human beings.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, burnout is real, and I feel like I've been working since I was like 13 and maybe even younger, because you know, we're Filipino, and you get instilled work ethics at birth.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you come out of the vagine and they're like, This is what you gotta be doing, right?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: And everything is nothing less, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing less.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you do something less, it's like you're not deemed successful.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you do something outside of the ordinary, it's not success in their eyes.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And at this point, like, yo, I'm cool with not looking successful to many people.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm okay, I'm good.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's too tiring.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's too tiring to try to keep up to societal standards.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: One, but also the standards of Filipino like mentality, old Filipino mentality is I is what I should say.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And Elaine, you and I both know you and I are very non-traditional Filipinos, and also a lot of your clients who you have worked with who are Filipino are very non-traditional as well.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: So all of them are non-traditional and whatever.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, change my branding.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: I work with the brown sheep of the black and brown sheep.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's who I work with, you know.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's true.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we we constantly push the needle in what could look different and what success looks like, you know.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I mean, I'm gonna let you go with your questions because I can go on the rant about how we have constantly chose differently and why we are successful and where we're at.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: But success looks so different for so many people, and I think that being able to accept that, that that's what that looks like.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think more people would feel a little more relaxed and take their foot off the gas a little bit because what is success, right?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like who who made that, like who made that vision look what it's supposed to look like?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the vision that we create for ourselves, but I'm gonna let you take it from here because I could talk about choice all day.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we could.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, this is just a conversation, but I think the first step that I want all of you to take away from it is by 4,000 weeks, cathous-a week book club.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Just show it.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna show it because this is 4,000 weeks.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I keep it with me all the time.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's my little Bible.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to Monica Schrock, which you guys know, my best friend.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oliver Berkman is the author.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I know you guys, I don't know if you're listening to the podcast or if you're watching, I don't know where this goes, which we can talk about that later.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it is a great book, it has changed my life.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I say it every day.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I quote it every day.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's changed my life too.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: It talks about time, right?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't want to give away the whole book, so let's not do that.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: But when you but when you read it, it just helps you understand that.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I even share it with my clients or women of color, where it's like, oh, people are telling me to do it this way, but I want to do it this way.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: Why is it so hard for me to do it my way?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: And you have to understand that I know we didn't have a choice to be born into the culture and society and capitalism.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_03: I know we don't have that choice.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: However, we do have a choice to unlearn it and to understand that we don't need to be tied to that constructs.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: I see you snapping, Kat.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm snapping, we're dropping some rainfalls, we're dropping some gems, okay?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um everything is a choice, and I think Elena go back on this so like heavy because I've been gone and traveling for the last 30 days, right?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about this.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: My entire 2022 has been traveling, and that's not for people who know me, that's not not normal.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: For people who don't know me, that is just my lifestyle.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: But every person, it doesn't matter where I am in a world, right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone, there's a shift in there's a shift in mentality and thinking of how people want to do things, whether that's their career, whether that's their relationships, whether that's personal development, there's a shift and a pivot happening.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody is starting to really understand, like, whatever you know, the panini brought, we're gonna call it the panini.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: The panini brought a lot of like, hey, like you're gonna have to face dead on your problems, you're gonna have to face dead on what your success looks like, you're gonna have to face what dead on your success for yourself looks like, not just for work, but like self-development.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone I've talked to, Elaine, has talked about like now that they are taking the choice and they're they're making the choice for themselves and not being like, well, this is what I was told that I need to do.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like everyone that I've been around has been saying, I am now choosing that this is what I want to do.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And like growing up, that wasn't a thing.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, no, my parents picked this and this is what I'm supposed to be doing because this is successful, and I'm gonna work the nine of five.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I respect it.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna work that nine of five, and that brings you joy, like complete joy, because you feel like you are having a purpose and you're moving things in society, you've made that choice.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: I respect it.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: But like for but there's a lot of people right now where they're just like, you know, I'm glad that I have a choice that I don't have to do this forever, or I don't have to sit here for 665 years and wait for a pension hashtag.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're not getting that, but like they're not people are are realizing that they can do whatever the fuck they want.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And like for me and for you, in the last four years when we've like tried to do coaching or we've done consulting or done things for people, is that people used to be like, Well, I don't have a choice, and I'm not hearing that as much, which like really makes me happy and it brings me joy to hear that.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_03: Because you know what's exhausting, what's exhausting is keeping up with other people's expectations of what you should be doing, and I know you guys are listening to us or who are these hippies?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, Because we have them heal you all, like we can have done intense therapy and healing, all the spiritual things because you know, understanding the societal constructs and the roles that women have to play, like being that supporting role for everyone else, right?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_03: We're not the lead actors or actresses, and like, oh hell no, I'm gonna be my own leading actress in this movie.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: And main character in it, you know, main character vibe.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: And when you think about it, those I mean, I I had six weeks of vacation myself this past year.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_03: I'm about to end the year with nine weeks because I have another what four weeks of vacations that's happening.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: And when I think about the memories that I enjoy the most, it wasn't like, oh my god, I got to be on a Zoom call and talk to a client.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: It was actually being present with another individual and having those like deep conversations.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Whether you know what's sad, Elaine?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, finish your statement, finish your statement.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, but those are my favorite moments, whether I'm with someone or even by myself, actually, by myself just looking at nature.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what's sad is that we used to be, and I can say this because you and I have had a very similar journey.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be so proud that I was talking to so many people that my calendar was.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So popular.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm so popular.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I want to throw up thinking of how that person used to be so proud to have her calendar full or have all these people she's talking to back to back, and I'm so booked and busy.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, that's fucking exhausting.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I know my friends used to tell me, like, are you sure this is good for you?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, I've had people on my side, shout out to my fucking family members and friends who have like stuck through because my psychotic, productive, wanting, societal, whatever, people pleasing mine was like, No, I have to be successful, so I have to have a busy calendar.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hell no, give me like two people to talk to every day.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm cool.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't want to talk to anybody, but I know the same for you, man.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you went from having such a big, big group of people, and not saying that you don't know, but like everything with intention, right?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like the people that are in your your mastermind now or your you know inner circle now, intentional.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Each each individual is so intentional, your one-on-ones, so intentional.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's and it's not like this, like, oh, okay, I have to fill this bucket to make this quota.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, I get it.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, that's good to have goals, but like when you just let the universe just pour into you the way that it's been wanting to without resisting, it's like you get these good people coming your way, you know, whether it's business or whether it's friendship or whether it's relationships, it's yeah, I I just I wanted to drop that because I know you and I used to be like, I can't talk right now, I'm busy.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Here's my calendar.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't talk right now.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm busy.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like now it's like, hey, here's like a calendar.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Here's some open ties for you.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Choose, you know, like I'm available.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, actually, it feels good to say that.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: The challenge, the challenge is though, right now, for both of us scheduling.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, I'm on vacation, I'm here.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I can, I'm heading to Santa Barbara right now, and then Vegas.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, we're gonna oh you're gonna be in Italy.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm in Scotland, Hawaii for two weeks, so I can't.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_03: So actually, we do have scheduling conflicts, but it's because we're traveling, which is amazing.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and you know, I don't want to sound, you know, again, and I just want to say this super privileged now that after putting in so much work after all these years of working.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Internal work is that I absolutely healing internal work, but also putting in the work that we have put in so that our lives are here.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Is that like I really don't want anyone getting confused that it's just like okay, cool, we're just traveling all the time.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that, like, no, like we come from corporate backgrounds, we've gone through the steps to actually like understand what it's like to work in corporate and then to have your own business and then to be a business owner.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like this shit doesn't happen overnight, and I think that's something that I really want to emphasize on, you know, and we talk about like how we want to talk about joy and like things that bring us joy, or like that's I was telling you earlier, like I'm a recovering productivity calendaring ass bitch.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I it comes from learning what that used to look like and what I don't want for myself, right?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And like I feel like you and I are people that have to go through it in order to grow through it.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I I feel like we're very privileged to be able to get to live the lives that we do, and I advocate for more people to be able to see that, and I know that not everyone can have this lifestyle, but I think it's also finding what lifestyle works for you, right?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: As business owners, as individuals.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and I want to reflect back on the control piece, right?
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_03: Both of us are recovering control freaks, right?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: Wanting to do everything, and you know what?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: What I've learned through that, that was like my own trauma, right?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: Because when your full personal life is out of control, you just control everything else.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Elaine, run that back, run that back.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, my name is Elaine.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, my name is Kat, and we are recovering control addicts.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_03: Girl, I think about it, and I think about like my my friends I've had in the past that haven't talked to me anymore, even like relationships I've been in.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I get it, I get why you don't want to talk to me because I was cray.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like I wanted to control everything because I I mean, not their fault, but I've gone through trauma, right?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: And it wasn't until I did the healing and I realized why am I trying to control everything?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: Because in reality, the best moments and memories are things not controlled.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: It is shout out to our fancy, you know.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I mean, if you I mean again, we're gonna reference this book because it's our book, you know.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: I've been referencing in every single episode in this podcast, and that's fine.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: Reference it again if you haven't bought this book.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm disappointed.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Unsubscribe, Oliver, Oliver Berkman.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you can hear this podcast, tag this man, because honestly, there's so many, and you know, I'm gonna speak, I'm gonna speak on behalf of myself because I can't speak for other people, but like, yeah, you know, control is such a thing, right?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: As especially for children of immigrants, it's something that we saw our parents having to do in order to survive, and you know, as children of immigrants, it's like, okay, is this how I have to survive, you know?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And oh man, control.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even when I think about it now, and like don't get me wrong, I'm still human.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's certain things that I still feel like I am learning to unlearn, to learn again, and I feel like that's the cycle of life, right?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: But like, if I really think about how controlling I was, I like really it makes me sad because I knew like how much shit I had to like heal.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if we and like you said, feel bad for those people who are probably not around anymore, you know?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, because I do, and I can there are times when I kind of want to like probably message them, be like, I'm sorry, or I'm healed, I'm better.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, there's a reason to why friendships end and relationships end.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: But every everything with a season, you know, everything with a season, and you know, I I don't think it's a bad thing if you want to send a message, you know.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I do think about the same thing, and honestly, because you don't know what you don't know until you know, and then when you know, sometimes it might be too late.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: But what's too late if you're here, right?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is that like something and again, because I talk to my friends and my family about this all the time.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, is it too late or is it that the season is over, right?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes people can't come through all the seasons with you, and that control that control piece of that season and learning from that, and like also learning to let go, learning to let go is something people don't understand.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like easier said than done because holy shit.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Well, this is the example I like giving is that when you let go, that's when orgasms happen, right?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: You can't control what an orgasm is about to come.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: I know you said you didn't not want me to talk about sex, but I'm not asking you about your sex life, so you're welcome.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I knew we were gonna have this, which I'm not mad at.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Please very much.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I I just you know, I get it, I get it.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine, I get it.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but yeah, I mean, if we're gonna talk about okay, if we're gonna use sex as the example, yeah, when you let go, it's it's liberating, it's it's this like bliss, it's euphoric, and it's like, why couldn't we have that in all parts of our life because we're scared of the unknown, right?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but everything's fucking unknown.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Even when you plan it, even if I'm planning because I used to do that, is that you do we think that if we plan to the T that something's not gonna go wrong?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I have like actually a perfect example and this is gonna be gross, but whatever, it's gonna make sense.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: So, like even this morning, I had to go get my blood test drawn and my boyfriend, he has a a work call.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_03: So there was kind of a conflict like, are you gonna use the restroom?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, I'm not ready to control it yet, and I can't control my shit.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: My shit's gonna come when it wants to.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: So go use the restroom.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: When my shit comes out, my shit's gonna come out.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_03: But I can't climb like 6 47 in the morning, my shit's gonna come out.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm not saying that is a wonderful experience.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, it is a release, but like but like think about it, we can't control every single thing.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: And then there's beautiful experiences where you just like shut the sunset.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: 1010.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: Highly recommend.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny that you mentioned that because I just got back from Mexico City and we'll call on my partner, because you know, we'll call him my partner.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: He was telling me about not telling me something I didn't know, but just kind of set the theme for the entire like experience that we were having for the like the next 10 days.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he was just like life is about making memories and being very present at that exact moment and exact time that you are with these people.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not gonna get that time again.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the man that didn't read the book I read, you know what I mean?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is just yeah, you know what I mean?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is just a person who I'm physically having a moment with at this very present moment who's reminding me again what life is, it's about making memories and being present, and again, what we talked about you don't know what you don't know, and so if you let go of every expectation that you're wanting on vacation or you're wanting out of life, or you're wanting out of a person, like how liberating is that?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's more exhausting to have expectations for people and then to become disappointed than it is to have no expectations and then like be like, oh, okay, well, I guess that happened.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like it, it's it's less of a it's less of a hassle, you know what I mean?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_03: And then you get beautiful surprises, you know.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: Are we even talking we were even talking about like going back to old friends?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: I did go back to an old friend and I apologize for something I did without an expectation.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_03: I wasn't planning like, oh, we can be best friends again, you know, we're gonna go out.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: But that person was really grateful that I shared my apology.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't really talked to that person, but when we bumped into each other, like it's not this fake, like, oh, how are you?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's like genuinely how are you?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: But I did that for myself, and that's another thing that's very liberating.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, you should be doing things for yourself, not just because of other people's expectations on what you should be doing.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: What would make you a great whatever insert title?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_03: Daughter, right, sister, cousin, family member, friend.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's also like, are we finally getting time to really know what we want and like what we want to fix?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And hurt people can't hurt like hurt people, hurt people, right?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So like heal people want to be better.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's like not even a rhyme for that, but like healing is not linear, growth is not linear, like there's just there's so much I want to talk about on this podcast, but like well, you know, just because we're evolving, we're con I we talk about adapt, you know how people are like adapt or there's adapt and something it's adapt or evolve is how I say it, you know, because you can adapt to all your situations, that's cool.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like Camille, you evolving, yeah.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, some of these are you evolving to are you evolving to your highest and truest self, or are you just adapting and having to give up parts of you?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: And and there's points.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think that even with evolving, you are you do have to give up parts of yourself, but it's also like you're making the choice to evolve and not to adapt to change to your environment that might not be best for you, you know?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like we could go deep on this.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_03: I've talked, I've talked to my therapist about this.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: The hard part is when you're evolving, when you're getting older and acknowledging what what joy was is no longer joy moving forward, but there's nothing wrong with who you were.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: You're I don't sorry, I don't like using the word older.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: You're getting more seasoned, right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: So as you get more seasoned, let's talk about this.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about this because season's great.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm all about seasoning, I like to cook, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with getting older.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: The word older, I read something the other day, and I don't even want to quote who it was because I'm not a fan of them in general, but it's an old.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: But the celebrity was saying is like, why have we allowed the word older to be such this like bad thing?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Older is wiser, it's more experienced, it's seasoned, it's like what yeah, I am getting older.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I I'll take it.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if it means that I come with the tools in my toolbox to make me walk into the world a better person, yeah, call me older.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather, you know.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like people, when they say older, they're like, oh my god, it's I'm not old.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, fuck it.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like you know what I mean.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: What I love about getting older is how much more tired we do get.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: But what I mean, I know that's a weird thing that I love.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: I don't live in Spain.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't live in Spain, but I do need a siesta in the afternoon, okay?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: I need it.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: The reason I say that is because like your energy levels are are less, so you have to be even more picky and choosy with who you're gonna be around and what you're doing.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: That is so that's so funny that you mentioned that because the other day when I was in Mexico City, I was searching, how does one get more serotonin naturally?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's true, like the clock turns 30, or how I mean, I'm aging myself now now.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: People are gonna know how old I am, but like the clock turns 30 and you're like years into 30, and then all of a sudden it's like you wake up and your knees are cracking when you're walking down the stairs, your hip is cracking, you're getting sciatica, like you're tired, right?
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: On all things you used to do.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, I I mean, you know, Elaine, people are always just like, Yeah, I have so much energy.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could find where that energy source is, because sometimes I wish it would just jolt me like a lightning bolt because I am fucking exhausted, and I wish I still had that, like, whew, because I still have a zest for life.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think the zest is just different, you know what I mean?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's different, and and I guess we get to pick and choose how we're gonna do it.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: But I want to ask you, you know, we've gone through our own journey to get to this point.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: So for anyone that's starting to question about what does joy look like for me?
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_03: Happiness and work, like ooh, I never thought of it that way that I was controlling a lot of things.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what tips would you have for others?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: One is know your self-worth.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, whatever that's gonna take for you to do, is it to see a therapist?
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Is it to finally sit down with yourself and be like, okay, person, I love you, but I also know that I have shortcomings and sh and shortfallings, and I am not perfect.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you can finally tell yourself that and know that you don't have to have it all together all the time, and that it's okay to be a mess, and that it's okay to not have your room cleaned or your car cleaned or the dishes are all over.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you can finally accept that your life is not going to be this aesthetically pleasing and always perfect thing that you're creating, and then you can tell yourself that you are enough, however, that has to happen, whether you have to get yourself out of a toxic relationship, whether you have to start dropping clients because those clients are not aligned with you, whether you need to start going to yoga or you know, getting a naturopath or going to see a doctor to make sure that all your like self-love, man, like a lot of self-love goes into finding joy.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, Elaine asked me earlier, she goes, Okay, can like let's talk about happiness, and I'm like, nah, you know, the pursuit of happiness, I and people are gonna fight me with this because I've had this conversation with a lot of people, but it's really the pursuit of everlasting joy because happiness is you know, people say that they chase happiness or they chase a school and then it disappears, but like what brings you joy at the end of the day you need to think about what is it that money cannot buy to keep you peace or keep you peaceful or keep you giving you peace.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh like I I and that is like something I really want to say because that is the first journey.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: What can you do that has is not like an outside validation?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot buy.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I said it.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's not an outside validation.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, but like you can't buy.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: What about traveling?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: Because you technically have to buy that, like pick it.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right, but but when you get there, it's about learning about culture.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can't pay to learn about culture.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, I was just asking details.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I appreciate it.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm saying, like, culture is around us, right?
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like when you go to other places, or like sometimes people can't get to other places.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: So is it like, how are you learning about culture?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you searching and you're like reading about it?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like reading a book, maybe going to a library.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this this can come in many forms, and I think that making sure that you choose the form that works best for you, this is not an all, what do they call it?
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's not an all-in-one.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is how does it work for your lifestyle, you know?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: But like for me, and even for you, which we've discussed, is like what brings me joy is to be able to like sit with the people I love the most and just be in like their presence because I can't buy that.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can't buy people's time.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can try, you can definitely try.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: But when people have when people are all together and I can be in like the people's presence that I love the most, and we can share like so vulnerably about like, hey, this is like what life is like, and this is what I can do to be better, and this is what I'm healing from, or these are my shortcomings.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is there things that you maybe have experienced that you could share with me that I can evolve from?
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then to be getting that like feedback back again, not validation, just sharing, and then I could take it home with me and like process that and be like, cool, cat, these are things that you need to work on.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're not perfect.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can try to work on this so that this can be better because it's better if you can let go, and and you know, it's that it's taking the time to know yourself because there's a lot of distractions out there.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: You and I both know this, that are distracting us from finding our true joy within ourselves.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And money cannot buy what you're we're looking for.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: That has to be a mentality that has to be investment of yourself.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that's where I would start.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I will say, I know it's a hard choice to choose to be still.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_03: And when you buy the book for a thousand weeks, it does talk about how we are in a distraction economy and era, how social media is created to distract you from your time to be consumed in whatever they are marketing or influencers that they've partnered up in marketing.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_03: And to distract you, it's like a drug, but to you need to be present and realize what you need to do to define your own joy.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_03: So, Kat, if people are interested, whether they want to follow you on Instagram, which is Consciously Bougie, or want to work with you, can you share how that looks like?
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_03: Whether it's working with you, getting to know you, following you, whatever it is.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you if you want to work with me, hit up Elaine.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: Elaine hasn't contacted me, but you can reach you can reach me on my Instagram, say say experience, S-A-Y-S-A-Y, Experience.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Consciously Bougie.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure in the podcast notes, Elaine can spell that out for you.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can email me at catkat at saysay experience.com.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: We do 15-minute free consults if you guys are looking for someone to create experiences for your business, someone who can be there to help project manage you, if you're looking for virtual assistance to make your life easier, so that you can let go of control, so that you can, you know, live your life a little bit and not feel like you're stuck on a screen all the time.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know that as business owners, that can be challenging.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, sometimes we need a little help.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: And asking for help is the first step.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's something that my company and people can do for you, I'm happy to go ahead and try to get that done.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, if you want to find me on the interwebs, I'm on there.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: Elaine, thank you for having me on your podcast.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a pleasure working with you.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's always, always very fun to talk to you about different parts of our lives because every time we get on a call, something in our life is, you know, evolving.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really why I appreciate our friendship and also why we work together.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you and I both know we've had our challenges working together because we've been in different parts of our lives, but I think that you know, with healing and a lot of also acknowledgement and awareness, we've really been able to evolve into like people who really can work together in a very aligned way.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_03: Look at that branding and messaging.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Kat did not expect this, but I was gonna share testimonial in this podcast episode because, like I said, we have different roles in our lives.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'm talking specifically about how Kat has helped me with my own events and retreats and what makes Kat unique.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_03: Sure, you can have the spreadsheets and the whole plan, but just like her company name is basic experience.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like she really loves understanding the experience and intentions you have with the clients that you are working with.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_03: And the reason why I've continued to hire Kat is because not only do I love her, but all my clients love her.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: She's not just the person behind the desk with a clipboard, but actually gets to know others and you know, if this was old Elaine, it was hard.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: But I mean, your Elaine like went to therapy, but also giving me feedback I needed to hear to not only make the experiences with my clients better for the retreats, but even ongoing.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, Kat, I just want to say I appreciate you.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_03: I know you did not expect that.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate no, I did not, and you know, over here just trying to hold back a little bit.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I I appreciate that because Elaine, you were my business coach, you have been my business coach over the years, and you've seen me evolve into different people and different industries and pivoting.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: But if there's one thing that remains the same, is that I and you know, even at your retreat, people were saying is like loyalty to loyalty to what I do, right?
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you hear a vacuum cleaner, I have cleaners at my house, so I apologize.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't hear it, we're good.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was saying is that at the end of the day, like with everything that I have chosen to do and the things that I have, therapy was what helped me, one, but two, it's also like being more aware of like the choices that I am making, and that I have to believe in myself before other people can believe in me.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I hope that does reflect in things that we do and how I work with you and your clients.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think that even after working with you, you've also evolved too.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I I want to drop my flowers for you and congratulate you because I know it's not easy to get feedback, it's not uh whether people are like, oh, I take feedback well.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, like we're human, and sometimes feedback is a little bit stinging, and I I never hope that I I never expect that to be something that you know that I'm not coming at you for.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: It really is because I believe in your work, and obviously I still refer people to you because of that, and we are we are here to make people better, and like that is the industry that we do, and that is the industry that we are in, is that we want to create experience for people to be better, and we want to leave that impact and that leave that memory, and hopefully, that is what people get with working with you and I.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, you had three hours outside of your session after the last day of your retreat for people to explain that you you know they are getting that, and very grateful to be able to honor, honor what you do, and be able to witness what you do and to be a part of it.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_03: Aw, thanks.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, what Kat was explaining is that at our retreat we went three hours over because we were doing gratitude exercises where each person had to sit and receive gratitude.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: And Kat was just well, all of us did, but Kat was like, Oh, I can't take that.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'm crying so much.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_03: Kat, since you did work with me four years ago and you've referred me as well to your friends, which I'm so grateful for.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_03: If there's someone who is interested in wanting to work with me, what insighted advice would you have for them?
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_03: And feel free to even share the not so fun stuff about me.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't like that you said not so fun stuff because I don't think it's not so fun.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's also like where that individual is.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not ready to hear some truth, this is not for you.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you if you want to if you want to go about your life and about your business and about whatever you're trying to get out of working with Elaine, and you're not ready to hear the truth, this is not for you.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: This program and this coaching, you're you're doing a year now, right?
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a year.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's year with the inner circle, and then I have my one-to-one programs.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna get called out, and it's gonna get uncomfortable.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's also gonna be, you know, asked with consent to be called out, but like, you know, I mean, we gotta be keep that in mind at the end of the day, is you get what you pay for.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: And my thing is, is Elaine, you've also like really done the work to also be very mindful on how you work with your clients.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that a lot of coaches don't do that.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think at a certain point they're just kind of like, cool, I I I'm here.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, being trauma informed is very important, and I feel like you've done that, and a lot of people, you know, money is a conversation.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's a different podcast for you and I, but like money is really hard to talk about, and you do talk about money and about how to get money and about money in general, because you know, we do live in a the world that we live in and we need it, but be prepared to talk about money and and like the feelings about that, and it's not it's reframing and reshaping how you think about that in investment, is the word, right?
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you want to work in yourself, you want to invest in yourself, work with Elaine because when you invest in yourself and you've invested in Elaine, you're gonna be seeing your money come back tenfold, and it's not because of just her, it's because of the fact that she's like calling you out on your shit to do it, and you can't have a family member do it.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you could, but it it comes, it comes the message comes differently from a person who doesn't know you, you know.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: It comes differently when somebody is rooting for you who doesn't have an attachment towards you in a way that it's like a family member or friend.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like when Elaine told me I had to go see a therapist because she's like, girl, I can't work with you until you go see a therapist.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's some real shit, and that's something you have to sit with.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know that you're ready to invest in yourself, pay Elaine your investment because it comes back.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I am living proof, of course, with other things that I've done and other coaches I've also invested in for my life, like a life coach and you know, a trauma-informed coach.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we've got a lot of coaches, we got a lot of support team.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: I like to say we've got a team.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: But Elaine was the first coach I hired, and I don't regret it one bit.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been four years.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I if you are looking to hire Elaine and you've been questioning it, or if you've watched her Instagram stories, she doesn't do Instagram as much anymore.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: But if you've listened to this podcast, if you've gone to her free events, if you've gone to anything that she has ever thrown in the past four years, just know that the investment is worth it because not only do you get a built in community of people that you get to work with, but you also get to work with Elaine, who constantly is evolving.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: And finding ways to evolve to make what she does not only insightful and helpful, but memorable for you because yeah, money can't buy investment, you know?
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that sounds like a weird statement, but like investing in yourself comes at such a priceless cost that I don't even know how to like I don't even know how to finish that statement because at the end of the day, Elaine, like I've seen the people you worked with in the last year, and the way that they're all thriving in all shapes and forms, personally, business-wise, and just like in their relationships with friends, family, and like their co-workers and their associates, is it's like the best I've ever seen for your work.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's my little gem for you.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you've also forgot to mention you if you do work with me, you get to see Kat twice a year because she runs my retreats.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, retreats are great, and your retreats are fun.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: They they do get emotional because people don't know what they're not going through, and they get to be vulnerable.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: But like, I'd like to say, I've been to a lot of retreats, I've held a lot of retreats, and the retreats only get better with the people that come with it because people come as they are, and they're not afraid to come as they are, and it's hard.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard when you're in in big groups like that.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody feels safe, and you really do create a safe space.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I definitely want to emphasize that is that over the years, you have really created safe spaces for people to come and to be able to share, you know, being an immigrant and having to make money, something that's different than what it usually looks like, and having a support system is so important, and you create a safe space to do that.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, that's again another gem.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_03: So you could follow Kat at Consciously Bougie.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: Say say experience, consciously bougie.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and you can also email me if you want to connect with her to see how it might look like to work with her because Kat's an incredible hype woman.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_03: But I just want to let you all know she chooses who she gets to work with.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_03: So you got to prove to her why you should be worthy for her energy and time.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: Say that again twice over, okay.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me, Elaine.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a pleasure being on your podcast.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: I it's been a long time coming.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you asking me, but you know, working with Elaine is something that you guys are thinking about.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Please, please hit her up in her DMs, send her a message, follow her on Instagram.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like what you get is what you see, and there is no fluff to that.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is what it is, and you know, the coaching industry is very interesting, but I always have told Elaine, you are more than a coach, and you are also a friend, and you also see people for who they are and how they come, and most people don't see that, so that's good to see that people are are trying out there.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like you know what?
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_03: I want to also I want to end this on like podcast episode with if you've noticed, we've just been like having a love fest on each other.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, girl, no, you stop promoting me, I'll promote you.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_03: Like it was just like tennis back and forth.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_03: But with that, I hope it's an example of this is the type of people you need your own in your own life.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying it has to be me and Kat, but find those people.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that's how you could just find joy being in that present.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important, you know, it's so important, and I think it's something that you emphasize on.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you're trying to end this podcast because we've been trying to end this podcast now for like the last 10 minutes, but like community is so important, and I think that's really where I want to leave this off.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you you can close out on that, is that people are missing community and being able to feel that they have people on their side, and that is definitely something that you do provide.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I still talk to the my people from my cohort, I talk to people that are in your cohort now or have been on your cohort.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't stop, you know.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: You you make friendships, whether they are for a short time or a season, but you can always learn something from the people that that you work with.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: So being part of that community has been fruitful because I have lifelong friends from that.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thanks, Kat.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_03: Go follow unconsciously bougie.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: Have a great day, guys.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to redefine how work, success, and joy looks like for you, and want to know how it looks like to work with me and Kat, I would love to invite you to our next retreat in 2023 on April 27th and 28th in Los Angeles.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_03: This two-day retreat is focused on checking in your 2023 goals to ensure that you are creating a business in life by your own definition and no one else's.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_03: So to register or schedule a call with me to see if it's a good fit, go to elenlew.com forward slash retreat.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_03: And if you can't make it, but you want to know how it looks like to work with me, then schedule a complimentary 30-minute legacy business, career, and review call where we will examine your current life and create three individualized action items.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_03: You go to elanelew.com forward slash call.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_03: Legacymaker, if you love this call your dreams episode, we would love it if you can leave a rating and review on Apple.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_03: So more women of color and allies can benefit too.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_03: And if you have one or two friends that would get so much from this particular episode, please share.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_03: The intention behind the Call Your Dreams podcast was to contribute and give back to our people.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_03: We'll see you next Thursday for our newest Call Your Dreams episode.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_03: And don't forget to call your dreams too.