Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Nate Jackson Crowd Work Pack San Jose Improv_ Part 3

Transcript

Nate Jackson Crowd Work Pack San Jose Improv_ Part 3 · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Which one is the hoe? Okay. Yep. Yep. Don't get mad.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Get some dick. Hey.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know why you got on a bikini, but
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: I appreciate you.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: What'd you say? That's your niece. Your niece got some
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: big ass. Where'd she get them titties from? From you?
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Are you the source? Not you?
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: She's like, I don't even have boobs. You stole all
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: your mama's titties. You ate them off of her when
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: you was a baby.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: That's crazy.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Nice to meet you, mom. I like when moms and
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: daughters come out and have some good times. And so
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: you the auntie, and this is your daughter too?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Best friend. Okay, how long you been friends? And you
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: can say best over three years? Oh, you got tattoos. Oh,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: look at us. We're dumb.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Get your goddamn arm down. You don't know this, bitch.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Three years ain't enough. Best friends is some real shit.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: You rob a bank together. Beat the shit out of
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: a couple together. And now you're best friends.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: You gotta have some secrets, man. Oh, no, we got those.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: You'd be surprised how many people she's let titty fuck. Anyways,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: it's early. I'm sorry. What's your name? No, you blessed. Jalen? Oh,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: like a black man? Why you naming that? Jalen Rose?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Your daddy's name and your mama's name. Your her name
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Lynn and his name Jason. And you're like, I'm going
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: to name my baby. You thought you were going to
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: have a boy? We're still out about whether or not
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: you did. All I know is those are nice tits.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know what else she got going on. Somebody said,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: she got a dick. That's what I was insinuating. You
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: guys are assholes. She has a fucking dick.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding, baby. She's laughing, having a good time.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Let's come over here for a second. Look at this couple.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Y'all look good. Everybody got a tattoo sleeve. Okay. What
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: is this? Triad love? What are you, sir?
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Black and Chinese. You don't hear that mix a lot.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: You really don't. Those are your parents behind you?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: You bull. Chinese mama, black daddy. How did you meet her, sir?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know how you made the first
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: black Chinese man I've ever seen in my goddamn life.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I've seen a lot of other black and Asian mixes,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: but black and Chinese are a little rare.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: In a club? In China? I'm sorry, I don't know
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: why I.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Maybe you were in the service, you went out for
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the weekend, went to Soulja Boy and bumped.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Into his mom. It was here though. Texas, is that
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: what I heard? Huh, El Paso? San Francisco. Okay, why
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: not here in Texas?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: So you went to San Francisco, out to a club,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: bumped into a Chinese woman.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: You were like, oh my God. I love you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: How long did it take y'all to fall in love?
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I did not expect a Chinese lady to say that.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Or sound like that at all.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I apologize. I'm preconditioned.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I'm from Seattle. All our Asians sound like Asians. She's like,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't intend for this to be long term. This
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: was just some in the middle of the night. Yeah,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: he let the whole load go.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: We're together forever.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Fast forward 23, 24 years later, you got this big
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: ass boy.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: With confusing hair eating collard greens with chopsticks.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Is your name a combination of your mama and daddy too?
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Is your name like Dion Tao? Jalen and Dion Tao?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: What's your name? Just Anthony. June? Chew? Like gum? Like tobacco?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Your last name Chew? You took your mama last name?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Because that last name ain't Chew. That's Jenkins, Robinson, Samuels.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: What's your last name, black daddy?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Washington, see?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: See, you guys are just fucking around with the name.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: You're like, all right, I'll name him Anthony. He's like,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: he must have something Chinese. In my home country origin,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: men take girl name. You gonna name my goddamn baby
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Anthony Chu?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Gesundheit. Your name sound like a sneeze.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: And so you went and found a woman like your mama.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: That's a beautiful Asian woman on your arm. I see you.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: But she don't look Chinese. She's something else. What are you? Oh,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: my favorite kind. I'm serious. I got hella Asian homies.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: And the Vietnamese is the best ones.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: To me. Crazy? For sure. Definitely. I gamble.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: And that's who I be with at the table. The
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Vietnamese be like, oh, my. When I win, they hate
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: that shit.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, my. That mean fuck you. They tell you right
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: when you win. They don't be like, good job or nothing. Oh,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: my mother fucker.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: They got like haters in their culture. As soon as
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: you beat them, oh, my man. Like, fuck you bring
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: my mama into this for, bitch.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: So I fuck y'all. How you meet your girl? You bullshit.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: What y'all was lifting? Leg dance. He was on your back.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: And what was she doing? Probably doing some deadlifts for Bulgarians. Bulgarians?
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Are you a fitness influencer or something?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Bulgarian, ain't that where your foot is up in the
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: back and you got to do this shit? So you
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: got ass? That's an ass exercise. Are you a thick
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Vietnamese woman? Mini but mighty. Mini but mighty. Okay. Okay.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Who hollered at who? You walked up, you're like, I
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: have tattoos as well. What'd he say? You remember? Do
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: you go to a rave?
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: You asked her if she goes to raves? This is
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: an interesting part of the country where black and Chinese.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Children are at raves. You took him to his first rave? Damn,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: that's kind of romantic, bro. Your mama took you.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: To your first rave and then you met her and
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: you wanted to take her to her first rave.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Shut the up, Anthony Chiu. man, that got too romantic.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I actually take him to his first rave. Did you
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: know that? You, Sammy. What's your name?
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Audrey, did you know that he wanted to take you
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: to the first date his mama took him to? Later
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: or during the rave? He was like, my.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Mom took me. The first rave I've ever been to,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: my mom took me.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: So like I saw you and I just wanted to
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: do something nice for you.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Like my mom. It's like, why the fuck are you
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: waving those chopsticks like that? They didn't have glow sticks.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's racist. It's funny to the mother this race.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Asians using chopsticks. Is that chi? Yes. It's a chew
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: doing chi. It's choo chi.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Nice to meet y'all. I appreciate the diversity at your table.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Let's talk to these two women down here. You got some, oh,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: it's a devil situation. Okay, I'm going to ask them,
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: but this is crazy the way y'all got them dangling
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: out tonight.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Or today, really. You had to wear those broad daylight.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: You got dressed at 12 noon.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put my tooties on. That's a crazy choice.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: What's your name?
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Chocolate. Deanna. Outstanding. And who are you? Alyssa. And do
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: you know each other? Best friends? How long you been friends?
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: About three years.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: See how they did that shit? See, nobody feels bad.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: They didn't have to be delusional. We're good friends, but
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: we're not best. We haven't robbed anybody together. We haven't done.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Anything.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Were these dresses a decision? Like, you guys called each other, like,
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I'm about to have my baby, and we in the front.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: He liked his videos.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Let's act up. No?
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: How do you make money? Lab service manager. Ooh, what
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: that mean? Don't say you service labs I need to
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: know like what kind of is this blood Okay, okay
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: plasma injections Okay, and you you help everybody You take
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: blood from everybody. You process the blood once they come.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Manage the people that do. So you got promoted. You
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: were so good at taking blood from Cribs.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: They was like, we need you. The hood needs you, Cass.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: So you are the boss of the blood takers. They
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: do more than blood? OK. And are you one of
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: the blood takers? You're a teacher. What are you teaching
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: and how smart are your kids? I know they on time,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: they be lined up.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Ms.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: T is teaching today. What do they call you, Mrs.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: What? You teach people how to draw blood. So this
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: had nothing to do with kids in the class or Ms. T. Damn,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: we got everything but blood takers in here. We got
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: the rest of the blood system. Okay, so you work
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: at the same place?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Did, you quit? Why? Better job. Okay. You like the
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: new job? Okay. Y'all single women? Both of y'all? Beautiful
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: and single? Is it hard to date out here? Oh,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: other women answered.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Whole other women like, it's ridiculous. There's in the dating pool.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Little poop is floating by in the dating pool. What
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: do you do for a living? A corporate weenie?
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: No, it's over with. That's weird. I'm a corporate weenie.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: All right. Yeah. I don't know.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: You must think I'm zany in this bitch. I'm a
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: real nigger. Corporate weenie is crazy. You're not going to
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: pause that? Nobody said pause around him? You guys are like, yeah,
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: he's a glizzy. Let's talk to Tweedledee and Tweedle.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: God damn. Two goddamn tortos. What's your name? Victor? Like
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: from Smoke Signal? Victor? Why are you driving backwards, Victor?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: And what's your name? Two Victors. Thank you. Thank you.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: So you're Victor Sr. That's Victor Jr. You're Victor III.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: He's Victor IV. He's Jr. You're III. Got it. So
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: it's a victory. You are the champions. Just don't be
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: a weenie. So what do you do, man? How long
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: you been doing roofing? Mechanic? Damn, that is more Mexican.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I was just fucking around.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: He's like, no, I fix cars, fool. Put a gas
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: engine in your Tesla.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: It's fixed.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: No more charging. Go. Go. How far will it go?
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Vacaville and back, go. And what do you do, little Victor? EMT.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: So you ride around saving lives?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: So when people show up to the hospital, that's you,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: they're like, get him off the gurney, get him off.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: And you pull up and get him. They be like,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: give us 50, shoot, shoot, you're stuck.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: You know all that shit.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: You don't do that part? You just take the bodies.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: That's the only thing you do is take us from
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: one thing to the next. That's your father that took
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: your big ass and made you do the one big
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: ass job.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: He don't get to do none of the fun shit.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: He's like, God damn it, another one.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Do you see that girl coming out that ambulance? We're
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: going to need some homies. What's her name?
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Her toe says Nunu. Outstanding.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Let's talk to the lovebirds right here in front. You
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: guys are new love. I see you got, how long?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: 15 years together, nine years married. Congratulations. That's beautiful. And
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: so what's your name? I'm sorry, what? Nestor? Nestor? Older
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Victor said, Nestor the molester. Right away, I'm sure you've
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: heard that a lot. That is. That's crazy. That's crazy.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: So empty, and what's your name? Huh? Samantha, okay. And
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: so is this high school sweethearts? Really?
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Did you guys lose your virginities to each other?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Hello? Speak up, Nestor. She's talking. She took your virginity
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: like a fucking Highlander. She's like, fuck me, that shit.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: You're like, there's a little bit of blood. She's like,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm a warrior. I love that shit. Kids?
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Two kids. Nice. Little boy, little girl? Two boys. Damn, boy,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: you're the jackpot. She's going to get you two little
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: kings running around that mother.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Y'all been together the whole time no breaks you never
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: just had like a one summer where you're like let's
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: just let's just see what else is out there I'll
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: see you on September 1st.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: You take the kids babe I want to be an
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: empty nester no nothing.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Empty nesters wildly clever I would appreciate a better response
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: than that thank you Mr.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Weenie Man, I appreciate you. Outstanding. Oh, you must have
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: missed the rules. That's unfortunate.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I was going to get you probably after two people,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: and now it's going to have to be a whole
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: other show.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Big ass Mexican E-40. Ooh, hear that.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I want to come on this side and talk to
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: the Cambodian Mike Tyson, if you don't mind.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: You look a lot like Iron Mike, sir. You, in
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: the face.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: You look like Mike Tyson and Manny Pacquiao at the
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: same goddamn time.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Iron Mike Manny. You guys together? All right, I can
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: come back. You guys can figure out.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I asked if you were together, and she was like,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know what the fuck Colin is. He be
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: tearing his pussy up. I don't know what our topic is. Mm-hmm,
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: he be playing punch out with my.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Are y'all together? Okay, Mary, let's see your ring. No?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: But you got a wedding ring on. Uh-oh, cold play.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm, now you're cheating. You just like that finger for
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: your ring? Let me see it. No, hold it up.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: I want to see what kind of ring it is.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: It's not, it's just a regular ring. Is it a
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: promise ring he gave you? You're like, before I die,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: we're going to be together. How long y'all been doing this?
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Huh? 22 years.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, y'all just fucked me. You're telling me you've been
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: fucking with this for 22 goddamn years? Who's clapping for that?
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: problem sir she's.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Like yes yes yes no no marry her man you
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: probably already married really the state says common law.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: What you say.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Domestic partnership how long it take to do that six
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: years and then it's a real thing how long till
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: it's a domestic partnership six years seven years you don't
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: even know you're like man it just is i don't
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: i was just and a letter came in the mail
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: So I got a promise ring.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Came in a cereal box, whatever. 22 years just for marriage,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: none of that shit. Y'all own shit together?
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: You don't own shit together? Rant, okay? You ain't even
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: on the same phone contract. You got kids? Okay, now
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: we got a little foundation. How many kids? You had
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: two before. You have two and one with her. And
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: how old are your two kids? 26 and 18. Now,
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: I ain't no goddamn mathematician. But if you've been with
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: this lady 22 years and managed to have an 18
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: year old from somewhere else, this some pretty funky I
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: got going on over here. How old is your baby? Oh,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: so the baby that's 18 is together. He made it
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: sound like there was three kids total.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Am I tripping or is that how it sounded? Sir,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I should. What's your favorite color?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Because that's a weird way to present that. No, ma'am.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: There's a reason you reading all this mail to him.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: It's hot in here, man. Turn the air on. This
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: goddamn hockey jersey ain't giving me no air. All right,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: let's come over here to this Asian table. There's a
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: whole section of Asians right there. Y'all all know each other? Oh,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. That's racism. I apologize. I just saw six
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: A's and was like, they gotta be, they gotta know
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: each other. They're like, we don't know these motherfuckers. Who
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: the fuck they? Motherfucker, I don't know them. Ooh, my,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know you. Ooh, my mate. Let's see, ma'am,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: do you mind being.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: The table captain and introducing me to the people with you?
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: You, ma'am, with your toes out, wiggling your feet. Yes, you.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: What's your name?
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: Hillary, nice to meet you. What's your real name? Ain't
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: no goddamn way. Unless your mama like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Okay,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: and so who you with? Introduce me to the table.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Hello, husband. How you doing, G? He ain't got no name.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Ain't that a bitch? I was waiting for you, Hillary.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: It's my husband. What's your name, fam? John, nice to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: meet you. And your real name? Your name is John
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: and Hillary. What's your middle name? Philip? What kind of
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Asian are you? Okay, that will rob your house. Don't
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: clap too much.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Be all in your shit.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: John Phillips had dropped by and did some shit. They
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: only stole the electronics, officer. What kind of Asian though?
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: You know what I meant. Chinese. But black from the
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: waist down. Okay.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: So your credit is fucked up because your wallet is
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: in there too. Let's come on this side a little bit.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, some more Asians. Let's talk to y'all. Hello.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: These are different Asians than y'all. I can tell right now. Chinese.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: No, he Chinese. What are you? You two things.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Mexican. Well, open your goddamn eyes, man. You got me
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: thinking you Asian, too.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: You see that she over there making Asian faces.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: She literally was like, oh, guess what I am. Guess
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: what I am.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: What are you?
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Filipino, outstanding. Who's at the hospital? It's so many Filipinos.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: The hospital empty. Ain't nobody taking the bodies out the gurney.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. Nice to meet you. Y'all beautiful.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Y'all got kind of a lot going on at that
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: table though. So Filipino, were you okay?
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, and then that was she. Half Japanese. You
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: don't even say the other half? That's up. That's up.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I'm half Japanese, I.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Don't care about the other side. It may or may
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: not have won a war. Japanese and white? What kind
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: of white? Put some respect on it, what kind of white?
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Italian? Okay, so you got ass.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: She got a little ass on her, don't she? You
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: got more than other Japanese girls.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: See, because the Moors, at one point, they had taken
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: over Italy, and the Moors are all black, so they
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: have African lineage all throughout Italy.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: They don't want to talk about it. They hate us.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Muli, mulinyat. At the end of the day, they'd be like,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: look at my olive skin. Which way you think it
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: came from? That's why the Italian girls be kind of
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: thick on the low. You'd be like, oh, that's a
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: black ass.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: So you're Japanese and Italian.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: And so your parents is from New York or somewhere
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: where that's a normal thing?
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: They are?
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, cause that mix don't meet nowhere else on earth.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: That's a Manhattan, lower Queens type shit.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I know, I'm well traveled. I'm well traveled.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: All four of y'all friends? Okay, and the choir too,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I like that. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: which one is the hoe? You ain't got to say nothing,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: just everybody glance at her on three.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: One, two, three. Okay, everybody looked at the Japanese and
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: Italian girl.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: She's like, she'll fuck you and do your taxes.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's a good day. It's quarter to.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Do you know your BNO? Okay. What's your name, Japanese
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: white lady? Yeah, I'm with it.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: You ain't got to guess. You ain't got to wonder.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I'm about to eat some spaghetti with chopsticks.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: What's your name? Already? People wouldn't even know. What's your name?
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Hmm?
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Junco? I like it. Junco Jackson. Sound like a cornerback.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: Right? In the upcoming draft, the San Francisco 49ers have
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: their eye on the young prospect out of Purdue, Junco Jackson.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: He's lining up for his 40 time right now.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, he is moving. He is rolling. Wow, look at that.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Junco Jackson, you just changed your family's life. Mm-hmm. They
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: say he's Japanese and Italian. Well, that would explain a
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: little bit of ass.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, I saw him. Nice to meet you, Junko. But
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: where did Jackson come from? Your daddy Italian?
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Huh? You got some black in you, too? Where you
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: get Jacksons from?
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: No, ain't no Italian Jacksons. Not a single my last
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: name Jackson. Paroli, they got strong ass, they roll it.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Ain't no Jackson, that's a black name. You was the
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: foster child?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Huh? Your grandma's Italian. Your dad's what? Is what? A
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: white Jackson?
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Them the worst. Them the worst ones right there. White Jacksons,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: that's Andrew. Not the creator of the Klan and enslavement.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Give me some.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I'm about to Andrew Jackson, great, great, baby. For the culture. Yeah, Godzilla.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: That's a lot of different forms of racism all at once.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I just hit you with like nine brush strokes of
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: racism and oppression. I apologize for screaming out Godzilla from
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: the back.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Kaiju. I'm sorry. I had one more.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: One more was in there.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Who is it? You, Pikachu. I choose you. That's right.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I'm at Pikachu. That was fun. Let's see here.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Four of y'all, y'all friends? Just you two and then
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: you two separate? Everybody know each other? And them down
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: there or just y'all up there? Which one is the hoe?
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Okay. Yep. Yep. Don't get mad. Get some dick. Hey. Hey.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: It's your big fine ass. Look at me. She used
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: to be a hoe. She's a retired hoe. When did
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: she retire? Five years ago? Three years ago. This week.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: She got married. Did he know that?
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: It's too late now, huh? She was like, I'm his hoe.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Don't worry about me. Damn, find your straw, baby. She
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: was like, ha, ha, ha.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I ain't no hoe. The ice cube's like,