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Health and Pain · I Hate Talking

• 0:29
  I Hate Talking: Welcome to episode 27 of I Hate Talking.
• 0:32
  I Hate Talking: Hi everyone.
• 0:33
  I Hate Talking: So we're gonna go back to our previous episode and actually just give the dictionary definitions of Optimists and pessimist.
• 0:41
  I Hate Talking: So Optimist is a person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or success of something or within philosophy, a person who believes that this world is the best of all possible worlds or that good must ultimately prevail over evil.
• 0:56
  I Hate Talking: Versus the pessimist, which is a person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen or within philosophy, a person who believes that this world is as bad as it could be or that evil will ultimately prevail over good.
• 1:14
  I Hate Talking: So given those two definitions, which would you, if you could only choose one, which would you be?
• 1:21
  I Hate Talking: So within the philosophical definition, I would be an optimist because I do believe that good will triumph over evil in the end.
• 1:30
  I Hate Talking: However, in this particular day and age and the things that maybe we must experience before we get to that point, I would fall more within the pessimist category in terms of the world being a relatively evil place.
• 1:47
  I Hate Talking: Hm I still just, I mean, obviously.
• 1:50
  I Hate Talking: I'd be the optimist, um, but I don't see any benefit.
• 1:56
  I Hate Talking: Other than not being disappointed.
• 1:59
  I Hate Talking: I don't see any benefit in thinking bad about the world or bad about people.
• 2:05
  I Hate Talking: You're just worrying up and bothering yourself for things that may or may not happen.
• 2:11
  I Hate Talking: Why get upset about it until it does happen.
• 2:15
  I Hate Talking: And then I guess we have to throw in our third category here, the realist, which does not have as much usage within the subject of philosophy, uh, but it's basically a person who accepts the situation as it is and is prepared to deal with it accordingly.
• 2:34
  I Hate Talking: And there is a philosophical definition as well, a person who believes in the theory of realism, which is the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it.
• 2:46
  I Hate Talking: It's from Platonic realism, so referencing Plato.
• 2:50
  I Hate Talking: OK, which is probably the most ideal.
• 2:54
  I Hate Talking: But also extremely difficult to do.
• 2:58
  I Hate Talking: I think that to be an actual realist would be very difficult because you have emotions and It would be hard to shut those off.
• 3:08
  I Hate Talking: You're.
• 3:08
  I Hate Talking: Innate emotions off.
• 3:10
  I Hate Talking: Right, and within the philosophical definitions, the theory of realism also presupposes that there is no dependent interpretation based on the perceiving agent, so meaning that the person that is experiencing reality does not in fact change reality.
• 3:35
  I Hate Talking: So interesting things to think about in terms of what reality is and how we are either prepared or unprepared for it, and then what our outlook about reality actually is and if we're even perceiving reality properly.
• 3:52
  I Hate Talking: It'd be easier if we were computers because a computer can be very realistic.
• 3:58
  I Hate Talking: Everyone's going to perceive reality so differently that I don't see how a realist is even an option.
• 4:05
  I Hate Talking: And I don't believe a computer could be very hopeful.
• 4:09
  I Hate Talking: No.
• 4:10
  I Hate Talking: So we're hoping that our health improves, so tell us about our last few weeks.
• 4:17
  I Hate Talking: OK, um, it has been ridiculous in our house.
• 4:22
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I don't know.
• 4:23
  I Hate Talking: I don't want to come off like we're complaining, but it has been challenging and just Obnoxious ways.
• 4:33
  I Hate Talking: So, I guess initially, I had um some atypical moles removed, um biopsied, and I needed them removed.
• 4:45
  I Hate Talking: I intentionally waited till summer was over.
• 4:47
  I Hate Talking: I got them tested early.
• 4:50
  I Hate Talking: Y'all, we're not a medical podcast.
• 4:53
  I Hate Talking: So, talk to your doctor.
• 4:55
  I Hate Talking: I got them tested, they were not urgent, but would be beneficial to remove them.
• 5:01
  I Hate Talking: So I waited till after summer because we were so busy, and thank God I did because who knew?
• 5:06
  I Hate Talking: This ordeal I would go through.
• 5:08
  I Hate Talking: So, I got them moved.
• 5:11
  I Hate Talking: I, it was supposed to be just removed.
• 5:13
  I Hate Talking: I've had them removed before in other parts of my body.
• 5:15
  I Hate Talking: I did not think it would be an horrible issue.
• 5:18
  I Hate Talking: Apparently, they put some liquid bandages on me after they stitched up the area, and I had a chemical reaction to it, uh, chemical burn.
• 5:31
  I Hate Talking: So I came home from the doctor's, you'd You had already been at the doctor's and we'll talk about that in a minute.
• 5:37
  I Hate Talking: You went earlier in the day for your issue.
• 5:40
  I Hate Talking: That was a surprise.
• 5:42
  I Hate Talking: I had this planned for several weeks.
• 5:44
  I Hate Talking: I thought, no big deal, I'll just go, come home.
• 5:48
  I Hate Talking: It'll be like a two hour problem.
• 5:49
  I Hate Talking: And then I'll be a little sore for a few days, life goes on.
• 5:52
  I Hate Talking: I was in so much pain when I got home.
• 5:55
  I Hate Talking: Like, this is weird.
• 5:56
  I Hate Talking: Like, I don't know why.
• 5:58
  I Hate Talking: And we kind of moved on with our lives.
• 6:00
  I Hate Talking: I was trying not to be a baby about it.
• 6:02
  I Hate Talking: And every day it was just getting worse, like, Increasing the pain.
• 6:08
  I Hate Talking: It started to feel like I just poured boiling water on my stomach, the area, uh, the mole was removed.
• 6:16
  I Hate Talking: And I couldn't do anything without extreme pain.
• 6:21
  I Hate Talking: And ends up being that I got a chemical burn from the liquid bandage.
• 6:26
  I Hate Talking: I'll never use them again.
• 6:27
  I Hate Talking: I'll make sure everyone knows never to give me a liquid bandage.
• 6:30
  I Hate Talking: And things got a little better, but apparently, there's also like an infection I got.
• 6:36
  I Hate Talking: So not the extreme pain was gone, but I still had a lot of pain and my stomach just turned bright red and hot, and it was like every day.
• 6:47
  I Hate Talking: It was worse.
• 6:49
  I Hate Talking: And I felt so bad cause my boys wanted to hug me.
• 6:52
  I Hate Talking: I'm like, don't hug me.
• 6:53
  I Hate Talking: Like, any movement, sitting, standing, any twisting to reach for anything was extreme pain.
• 7:02
  I Hate Talking: And I just kept feeling like I was such a baby about this.
• 7:06
  I Hate Talking: I went to the doctor again, and they were like, I've never seen it this bad.
• 7:11
  I Hate Talking: This is ridiculous.
• 7:13
  I Hate Talking: And so they gave me more medicine.
• 7:14
  I Hate Talking: Yesterday, this is 10 days later.
• 7:18
  I Hate Talking: Yesterday was the first day I finally felt like, OK, I'm doing better.
• 7:22
  I Hate Talking: Like, and um then today, I'm doing a little bit better than yesterday.
• 7:27
  I Hate Talking: So, I'm optimistic that I am on the road to healing and um It's just ridiculous that this little tiny.
• 7:37
  I Hate Talking: Incision I had turned out to be For the last 10 days encompassed almost everything I was doing or thinking.
• 7:46
  I Hate Talking: Because um I was just in so much pain and discomfort.
• 7:50
  I Hate Talking: Yep, so certainly traumatic as my medical experience over the last 10 days as well, but I had a deer tick on me and uh probably was there for a few days based on size and reaction on my skin and went to urgent care to get that checked out.
• 8:10
  I Hate Talking: And uh normally probably would not do anything, but it had been on there for a while and also the medical staff there, I guess have been seeing an increased prevalence of Rocky Mountain fever, uh, from deer ticks, uh, this season in our area.
• 8:29
  I Hate Talking: So, Uh, did follow their recommendations to start a routine of antibiotics, uh, but these particular antibiotics that were prescribed, uh, was not allowed to have dairy, and, uh, it did also cause my stomach to be upset, um, from these particular prescriptions.
• 8:51
  I Hate Talking: So that was 10 days of, uh, just very odd, uh, eating patterns.
• 8:58
  I Hate Talking: Uh, both from the food consumption, uh, things because normally I would be eating, uh, cheese or other dairy products and also just because of having an upset stomach and not wanting to eat certain foods or eating, um, foods that perhaps were not as nutritious, uh, but they were at least more filling and uh settled my stomach.
• 9:24
  I Hate Talking: So, uh, not.
• 9:25
  I Hate Talking: Where I wanted to be because in a few weeks, we'll be doing a variety of races and uh other athletic uh requirements.
• 9:35
  I Hate Talking: So, um, certainly feel ill prepared for that based on this last routine of medication and poor diet experience.
• 9:44
  I Hate Talking: Right.
• 9:45
  I Hate Talking: Well, Rocky Mountain fever is definitely not something we mess with and um So I'm glad that you were proactive and took care of it, because it definitely, uh, the tick bite area, we've gotten ticks in our area before.
• 10:00
  I Hate Talking: We've never seen anything like that on you or never seen a tick bite like that.
• 10:04
  I Hate Talking: So I'm glad you took care of it.
• 10:06
  I Hate Talking: But yeah, you, we found it uh about 2 hours before my doctor's appointment, where I had my procedure done, so that you rushed to urgent care, came home, and I left almost immediately for my thing.
• 10:19
  I Hate Talking: So, just between the two of us with all these problems has been ridiculous.
• 10:24
  I Hate Talking: I will say the cutest thing, our littlest boy.
• 10:27
  I Hate Talking: has been so adamant that he knew that when you're done with your antibiotics, that you would need to eat yogurt.
• 10:35
  I Hate Talking: And get some good probiotics in you.
• 10:38
  I Hate Talking: So every day he keeps, like, he has this like yogurt that he has.
• 10:42
  I Hate Talking: It's like the little kid yogurt, so you're not gonna like it.
• 10:46
  I Hate Talking: But he's saving it for you, and he's not having his favorite yogurt because he knows that this is for daddy when daddy can eat it.
• 10:55
  I Hate Talking: And I think that's the sweetest thing that he's really intentionally trying to take care of you.
• 10:59
  I Hate Talking: Yep, it was very cute.
• 11:01
  I Hate Talking: I think he was a little bit disappointed today when he ate one and then I think went to go retrieve me one and the box was empty.
• 11:09
  I Hate Talking: Oh no, he ate his last one.
• 11:11
  I Hate Talking: I think he accidentally ate the last one.
• 11:13
  I Hate Talking: The yogurt just like time is running out.
• 11:17
  I Hate Talking: That's right.
• 11:19
  I Hate Talking: But, so, yes, um, even sitting here right now, I'm, my stomach, I can feel it.
• 11:25
  I Hate Talking: So this is ridiculous, but I'm getting better.
• 11:27
  I Hate Talking: You're, uh, you seem to be in the clear, right?
• 11:30
  I Hate Talking: All the symptoms, everything seems to be good on your end.
• 11:32
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so, no Rocky Mountain fever for you.
• 11:36
  I Hate Talking: Uh, we'll do better at checking ticks when we're out and about and getting better for the next couple weeks when we have a lot of physical activities, and we'll just do our best.
• 11:48
  I Hate Talking: One thing I was thinking about um last week, when we were in the midst of both, and like, the main part of both of us not feeling good, we had a ton of activities.
• 12:01
  I Hate Talking: We had, we got to do.
• 12:03
  I Hate Talking: And we said we have to, but we didn't have to do any of them.
• 12:06
  I Hate Talking: We wanted to.
• 12:07
  I Hate Talking: We love certain people and friends and activities.
• 12:12
  I Hate Talking: So, we did not want to miss out on these, but we also did not want to pull the attention to ourselves.
• 12:19
  I Hate Talking: So when you're at an event, What can we do?
• 12:24
  I Hate Talking: Like, if you're in physical pain, and sometimes it's OK, I'm sure, to tell people, hey, I love you, I just can't come, or say, hey, like, I'm here, but I really won't be able to participate.
• 12:37
  I Hate Talking: But like, I was at an event and I didn't dance because my stomach hurt so bad.
• 12:43
  I Hate Talking: And I know people noticed and they were just like, oh, that's weird.
• 12:45
  I Hate Talking: But I just kind of like laughed it off cause I didn't want to be like, if I get up, my stomach's gonna hurt so bad.
• 12:52
  I Hate Talking: So, how would you go about being respectful and also considerate?
• 12:58
  I Hate Talking: Of um others when we are in this midst of this frustration times and pain.
• 13:05
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I guess for me personally, I would break it down into whether it is a duty or a nicety uh where I'm going to, I think, Do whatever my particular perceived duty is and do that to the best of my ability in lieu of not feeling well or maybe even in spite of not feeling well.
• 13:32
  I Hate Talking: And I think there's been times where I have overextended myself because of that versus a nicety where it is just something that is a Nice to have type thing or just uh maybe an optional event or activity where I'm either going to skip it or just not participate and probably people don't really find that odd for me because there are a lot of things that I will choose not to participate that fall within that category anyway, even if I'm feeling fine.
• 14:07
  I Hate Talking: That's true.
• 14:08
  I Hate Talking: Um, that's why I think when people, I wasn't dancing and doing stuff, people gave me the side-eye, like, that's weird.
• 14:15
  I Hate Talking: But I think I struggle because I am a bigger personality somewhat.
• 14:21
  I Hate Talking: Like, I know you can, um, you're very happy in the background, often at social events.
• 14:26
  I Hate Talking: I tend to talk to a lot of people.
• 14:28
  I Hate Talking: I had a hard time not making it about myself, so I just didn't say anything.
• 14:33
  I Hate Talking: Not because I was trying to hide it.
• 14:35
  I Hate Talking: If I was given a time, maybe I'd say something, but I didn't want to make it about me, because these events were not mine.
• 14:43
  I Hate Talking: I struggled with being honest, because I also value that.
• 14:48
  I Hate Talking: I don't want people to think I'm hiding from them or being fake.
• 14:51
  I Hate Talking: So how do you not make it about yourself and take the attention on yourself, but also still be realistic with them and um honest with people.
• 15:03
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, well, it goes back to something that we've talked about in some previous episodes in terms of what is like polite conversation, like how are you doing, and that is, you know, people disrespecting a response of good, how are you and moving on versus actually really responding to you in the hallway, right, exactly, and tell them all your life's woes, uh, when they're just trying to be polite and say hi to you and go about their lives.
• 15:31
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so there is just even some of that.
• 15:34
  I Hate Talking: Cultural and communication type things that have to be known for the relationship in general.
• 15:41
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so I think it does play a part in terms of how close you are to that person or even what the social situation is.
• 15:48
  I Hate Talking: Is it just a passing greeting or are you gonna have a actual opportunity to have an extended conversation with them, uh, and this makes the decision accordingly, uh, regarding that in terms of how you share or not share.
• 16:03
  I Hate Talking: Mhm.
• 16:04
  I Hate Talking: And then, I mean, there's so much nuance, that's really hard, but I really struggled even at an event, cause you were, we were there as a family, you had some responsibilities, and so you were doing them, which is what we agreed on, what you needed to do.
• 16:21
  I Hate Talking: But I was tending to the kids and that was in the height.
• 16:25
  I Hate Talking: Of my pain Uh, that was the worst day.
• 16:29
  I Hate Talking: The next day I went to the doctor and started On the medication, and then they added more medication, and so on and so on.
• 16:37
  I Hate Talking: But this was the first one I was like, I don't know what's going on with my body.
• 16:41
  I Hate Talking: I was like, actually tearing up and trying not to cry there at the event because I'm tending to the kids.
• 16:49
  I Hate Talking: And every movement is hurting.
• 16:52
  I Hate Talking: And in my head, I was like, why am I even here?
• 16:55
  I Hate Talking: We, I should have just stayed home.
• 16:56
  I Hate Talking: This is silly.
• 16:57
  I Hate Talking: Oh, also, on top of that, in our ridiculousness, our one kid got hurt an hour before we left for that event or a half hour before we left for the event.
• 17:07
  I Hate Talking: He's OK.
• 17:08
  I Hate Talking: It's wasn't horrible, but he got bumped his head.
• 17:12
  I Hate Talking: So he had a nice little like, um bump on his head.
• 17:15
  I Hate Talking: We put ice on it and stuff, and um he was OK.
• 17:19
  I Hate Talking: And so he was like, my head hurts, so I'm like helping him, but I can't do too much because I'm in pain.
• 17:25
  I Hate Talking: And in my head I was like, I should, we should have just stayed home.
• 17:27
  I Hate Talking: This is silly to be here right now.
• 17:29
  I Hate Talking: But again, that duty, right, our responsibility was to be there.
• 17:33
  I Hate Talking: Precisely.
• 17:36
  I Hate Talking: So there is even nuance in determining what is responsibility versus a nicety and that difference between duty and option, uh, as well as just the nuance in terms of how much you share with a person in terms of What is actually happening versus just going about your business and Keeping the social situation within normal bounds.
• 18:04
  I Hate Talking: And then on top of that, I was trying really hard not to cry because I felt like if I cried, I would lose it and then like, it would not be good because I have a bunch of kids with me and we're trying to be quiet in this event.
• 18:15
  I Hate Talking: But I was looking around and I was like, there, it's probably just me thinking the world revolves around me.
• 18:21
  I Hate Talking: I kept being like, does anyone notice that like, I'm in so much pain right now and I'm crying?
• 18:27
  I Hate Talking: But no one said anything, which is fine.
• 18:30
  I Hate Talking: That's good.
• 18:30
  I Hate Talking: I did not want them to say anything.
• 18:32
  I Hate Talking: My question though is, would you, if you notice somebody crying like that.
• 18:36
  I Hate Talking: Would you say something, or again, is it just nuance, like you don't, it depends on the person, the situation.
• 18:45
  I Hate Talking: How would you go about if you notice somebody's really struggling?
• 18:48
  I Hate Talking: Well, I probably don't have to deal with that situation as much because of my gender.
• 18:56
  I Hate Talking: It would be very, very, very odd to see a man crying and If there was, I think again it would depend on perhaps the relationship if one existed at all and also the closeness of that relationship that would determine how I would interact.
• 19:15
  I Hate Talking: And then on the flip side, if I saw a woman crying like maybe if there's like nobody else around and it's like, Something that maybe I could help with.
• 19:25
  I Hate Talking: But for all intents and purposes, that would be very.
• 19:30
  I Hate Talking: Low chances of that happening where I'm like the only person around and I would not interact with that person.
• 19:36
  I Hate Talking: I would like go get another woman or something.
• 19:39
  I Hate Talking: So maybe you would share with somebody like, hey, it looks like so and so is having a hard time.
• 19:43
  I Hate Talking: Can you go check on that?
• 19:44
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I would do that.
• 19:45
  I Hate Talking: OK.
• 19:45
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I think, similar, I'm trying to think.
• 19:51
  I Hate Talking: I've seen guys struggle, not necessarily cry.
• 19:54
  I Hate Talking: I've had moments where I've seen people, male struggle.
• 19:58
  I Hate Talking: With something, maybe like it just.
• 20:01
  I Hate Talking: Pat them on the shoulder or give him a high five, or like a knowing smile.
• 20:06
  I Hate Talking: I don't, you know, like, sure, I don't usually sit like side by side with a guy and put my arm around him while he's crying.
• 20:13
  I Hate Talking: But for women, I do that I have done that a lot.
• 20:17
  I Hate Talking: And sometimes it is hard because when you get that final, like someone's here, I'm here with you.
• 20:23
  I Hate Talking: And often it's like a release, like, and then you really start crying or really lose it.
• 20:29
  I Hate Talking: And so it's hard to know sometimes like, can I do this?
• 20:33
  I Hate Talking: Like, if I hug you right now, is this gonna make it worse?
• 20:36
  I Hate Talking: Cause you're trying to hold it together.
• 20:38
  I Hate Talking: But I think it's super helpful.
• 20:40
  I Hate Talking: I love when people come over and they're just like, hey, let me give you a hug, cause it might be embarrassing, but um Maybe it's just my personality, but I just need that like, it's OK, and you will be OK and I see you.
• 20:55
  I Hate Talking: Yep, I think that is not something I have experienced.
• 21:00
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, like, ever.
• 21:02
  I Hate Talking: What would, what would you want when you're having a hard time?
• 21:06
  I Hate Talking: What do you want people to do?
• 21:09
  I Hate Talking: So, I think, one, I'm not even going to express that in any way externally.
• 21:15
  I Hate Talking: Cause that is my nature and also I think to some degree.
• 21:19
  I Hate Talking: Right, wrong or indifferent, just a way that I respond to stress.
• 21:23
  I Hate Talking: And therefore they would never even know.
• 21:26
  I Hate Talking: And then if for some reason they did know.
• 21:32
  I Hate Talking: Uh, I would not want them to interact with me.
• 21:36
  I Hate Talking: OK.
• 21:37
  I Hate Talking: What about me?
• 21:39
  I Hate Talking: Do you want me to leave you alone too?
• 21:41
  I Hate Talking: Cause I can tell.
• 21:42
  I Hate Talking: And yeah, you're the same, like you, yeah, just much more stiff and uh quiet.
• 21:48
  I Hate Talking: Sometimes I tend to, I go back and forth, I guess.
• 21:52
  I Hate Talking: It depends on what mood I'm in also, or why you're in that mood.
• 21:55
  I Hate Talking: But like, when I, if you're hurt or uh something really sad has happened, Like, I feel like I try to like nuzzle up to you and like force myself to like, be as close to you as possible, and I can feel you stiff.
• 22:12
  I Hate Talking: But you do tend to seem to like, Soften a little possibly, or is that just so annoying that I do that to you?
• 22:19
  I Hate Talking: No, I think that's fine.
• 22:22
  I Hate Talking: I think that's for our own relationship.
• 22:25
  I Hate Talking: uh Right.
• 22:26
  I Hate Talking: That would be weird possibly, if a friend did it, or especially, yeah, I wouldn't want another girl to do that to you.
• 22:33
  I Hate Talking: I would be upset, I guess, if another girl came up to you and started nuzzling you.
• 22:37
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, not acceptable.
• 22:39
  I Hate Talking: OK, but I can keep doing it to you because I still do.
• 22:42
  I Hate Talking: OK.
• 22:43
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I, no matter who it is, I just want like a big bear hug from someone like.
• 22:48
  I Hate Talking: The more Hate the hug the better when I'm in those moments.
• 22:54
  I Hate Talking: There you go.
• 22:56
  I Hate Talking: So now we're all better, I guess, -- till the till getting better till the -- next with your antibiotics as of today, right?
• 23:04
  I Hate Talking: I'm still a little bit off in terms of re-establishing like a normal diet, so still don't feel completely normal.
• 23:12
  I Hate Talking: In fact, I have a headache right now.
• 23:14
  I Hate Talking: That could be just because it was hot today or for a myriad of other reasons, but hopefully we'll be getting back to normal soon.
• 23:21
  I Hate Talking: Right.
• 23:21
  I Hate Talking: And you haven't really been able to do your normal workout stuff, but you will be.
• 23:26
  I Hate Talking: Hopefully slowly getting back into that, right?
• 23:28
  I Hate Talking: Exactly.
• 23:29
  I Hate Talking: And then, I'm definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel.
• 23:33
  I Hate Talking: I am not good yet.
• 23:35
  I Hate Talking: I'm still in pain and uh struggling, but Infinitely better than I was 48 hours ago.
• 23:43
  I Hate Talking: So, I take that as a win.
• 23:45
  I Hate Talking: And I go back on Wednesday for some more stuff, so I'm really anxious that they're gonna mess it up again, but not that they mess it up, but I'm gonna have a reaction to whatever they did.
• 23:57
  I Hate Talking: And so I am struggling with that anxiousness of like, I'm almost better.
• 24:01
  I Hate Talking: Do not do this to me again.
• 24:04
  I Hate Talking: But I'm almost there.
• 24:07
  I Hate Talking: Almost there.
• 24:08
  I Hate Talking: Well, yeah, and going even back to Our words, we're talking about optimistic and pessimistic.
• 24:15
  I Hate Talking: I'm obviously always very optimistic, and I don't know how many times in the last week and a half I've told you, like, I'm so sorry.
• 24:22
  I Hate Talking: Like, I Feel like I'm making a big deal about this.
• 24:26
  I Hate Talking: I'm obsessing over this, and I don't know how to not obsess over this.
• 24:32
  I Hate Talking: And I think sometimes it's even, at least for me, I don't know, uh, I want to hear your perspective on yourself.
• 24:38
  I Hate Talking: For me, when it's a tiny things, this little spot on my stomach that ended up spreading all across my stomach.
• 24:47
  I Hate Talking: Or like if you stub your toe or ingrown toenail, or those sort of things seem like in the spring, I broke my toe.
• 24:57
  I Hate Talking: And it was weeks of so much pain.
• 25:00
  I Hate Talking: So those little pains, sometimes I used to struggle with those more.
• 25:05
  I Hate Talking: And a real broken bone or a real um serious illness.
• 25:11
  I Hate Talking: Do you get bothered more?
• 25:12
  I Hate Talking: By the small little things like that, it just won't go away.
• 25:16
  I Hate Talking: Or is it the bigger catastrophes that bother you?
• 25:21
  I Hate Talking: In the moment, definitely the bigger catastrophes, right?
• 25:26
  I Hate Talking: So like if you're seriously hurt or something, I think that As well you should, right?
• 25:32
  I Hate Talking: Regard the pain in a way that you're going to Seek the medical help that you need to or um you know, be able to ascertain somebody else's pain levels appropriately so you can determine if they need medical assistance or just first aid or whatever the case may be.
• 25:51
  I Hate Talking: I think in the long term that, yes, those small things, especially if there's many small things that are additive in nature that those will become more of a nuisance in such a way that, that is gonna be More painful or annoying.
• 26:09
  I Hate Talking: Um, however, I think the thing that I keep in mind is that Pain is just a tool.
• 26:15
  I Hate Talking: It's uh for all intents and purposes an illusion because it is just nerve endings within your body telling your brain that something has gone awry and that you can regard that and make the necessary adjustments that you need to, whether that be seeking medical attention or just uh changing the position of your body because something is not feeling right that Then you can thank your body for that pain and And sort of just categorize it in such a fashion that it's not painful anymore.
• 26:52
  I Hate Talking: I do love that thought.
• 26:54
  I Hate Talking: The idea of like, thank you body for telling me something is wrong, and It's beautiful.
• 27:02
  I Hate Talking: It is so hard to do.
• 27:05
  I Hate Talking: You have to try to find it.
• 27:07
  I Hate Talking: There is a Star Wars quote, I think uh that effect in some form or fashion.
• 27:12
  I Hate Talking: I don't think it's from like the actual canon, so it's definitely not from the movies.
• 27:17
  I Hate Talking: I don't even think it's from like the official books.
• 27:19
  I Hate Talking: It's from like the Adjacent official books that uh that I'm thinking of this particular quote -- about -- pain.
• 27:27
  I Hate Talking: I know, yeah, there's a bunch.
• 27:28
  I Hate Talking: I mean, there's like the dark side always.
• 27:31
  I Hate Talking: It speaks to us from our pain, our grief.
• 27:36
  I Hate Talking: It connects all pain to pain and hurt to hurt.
• 27:40
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, there is certainly a lot of Star Wars quotes, right, Yoda in particular that talks about pain and suffering.
• 27:48
  I Hate Talking: This actually is specifically about a physical pain.
• 27:52
  I Hate Talking: That was then Basically realized.
• 27:57
  I Hate Talking: And then recognized and then the person moved on about whatever they were doing.
• 28:05
  I Hate Talking: So, what about yourself?
• 28:08
  I Hate Talking: Is it the small things or the large things that cause you the greatest distress?
• 28:15
  I Hate Talking: Um, yeah, I mean, in general, I think it's the smaller things, which is so frustrating to me, like my stomach or my broken toe a couple of months ago.
• 28:26
  I Hate Talking: Um, they're so tiny that they shouldn't be bothersome.
• 28:32
  I Hate Talking: But I think also because they are prolonged.
• 28:36
  I Hate Talking: I get really tired quickly of them.
• 28:41
  I Hate Talking: Um, like my toe, broken toe as an example.
• 28:45
  I Hate Talking: It hurt and I was taking care of it, but after a couple of weeks, I just got so tired of not feeling good.
• 28:52
  I Hate Talking: We're like, Using my example as a mom, being in labor, it's miserable and it is so painful, but it's just a day, and then I'm done.
• 29:03
  I Hate Talking: So I think I can have that mindset of like, this is gonna be a terrible day.
• 29:08
  I Hate Talking: And then I'll be OK.
• 29:11
  I Hate Talking: But it's for these other things that go longer.
• 29:14
  I Hate Talking: Like my stomach, where every day it got worse, that like, it got exhausting mentally, just thinking like, tomorrow is gonna be worse than today.
• 29:24
  I Hate Talking: And I know people um that have severe illnesses.
• 29:29
  I Hate Talking: And it can be really difficult when you know, like, tomorrow's gonna, I'm going to get this medication, but tomorrow is gonna be really rough.
• 29:38
  I Hate Talking: Or the next day after the medication will be really rough, and that kind of thing.
• 29:43
  I Hate Talking: I think that mental makes it worse.
• 29:46
  I Hate Talking: So even if the physical pain isn't worse necessarily, It's the mental breakdown of it that gets exhausting and hard.
• 29:54
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, yup.
• 29:56
  I Hate Talking: So just even that outlook that the pain will not be gone the next day, that you have this chronic pain makes it all the more difficult as well, not necessarily just the level of pain itself.
• 30:08
  I Hate Talking: Right, yes.
• 30:09
  I Hate Talking: That's a good way to say it.
• 30:11
  I Hate Talking: Well, to all our listeners out there, we hope you are healthy and happy and optimistic about your future.
• 30:19
  I Hate Talking: So until next time, from your friends at IH Talking, remember, it is only through talking that we begin the journey to understanding.