Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Two Tops with Luenell
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
- 0:01Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In May the thirtieth of May, I will
- 0:04Speaker 1: be in Vegas at my residency. In June, i will
- 0:07Speaker 1: be in Saratoga Springs, New York, port Chester, New York.
- 0:10Speaker 1: I'm coming to Boston at the Wang Theater. I'll be
- 0:13Speaker 1: in Portland, Oregon, Seattle, and then Hyannas, Massachusetts, and then
- 0:17Speaker 1: two shows in Nantucket. In August, you can find me
- 0:23Speaker 1: in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary.
- 0:26Speaker 1: That's Canada. And September I will be in Santa Barbara,
- 0:29Speaker 1: San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut.
- 0:33Speaker 1: October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho,
- 0:41Speaker 1: and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in San Francisco.
- 0:44Speaker 1: I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, Babies,
- 0:48Speaker 1: I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing
- 0:51Speaker 1: out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your
- 0:54Speaker 1: tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High and Mighty Tour. Hello, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, everybody.
- 1:03Speaker 1: I am High and Mighty. My voice is gone. My
- 1:10Speaker 1: throat is sore because I was with Yaminika all weekend
- 1:13Speaker 1: and she forced me to smoke marijuana perfect, so I
- 1:16Speaker 1: can't breathe as usual. I have to replace her.
- 1:20Speaker 2: You're just gonna replace her with somebody who also smokes
- 1:22Speaker 2: just as much.
- 1:23Speaker 1: She just smokes all and I don't even smoke as
- 1:25Speaker 1: much as she does. Obviously I couldn't, but I'm like,
- 1:28Speaker 1: what are her lungs made out of steel? I need
- 1:30Speaker 1: a lung transplant. I shouldn't joke about that, but I
- 1:33Speaker 1: do need one.
- 1:34Speaker 2: Have you seen this new documentary on HBO called The
- 1:36Speaker 2: Dark Wizard?
- 1:38Speaker 3: No?
- 1:38Speaker 4: Is it?
- 1:39Speaker 1: Which one is this?
- 1:40Speaker 3: It's about like a guy who does like mountain clients.
- 1:43Speaker 1: It's awesome, girl, it is. I'm gonna watch it tonight.
- 1:46Speaker 1: It's I've watched it twice all the way really it is.
- 1:49Speaker 1: It's called The Dark Wizard.
- 1:50Speaker 2: Dark Wizard, which is kind of kind of a weird name,
- 1:52Speaker 2: but it makes sense when you watch it. It's this
- 1:53Speaker 2: guy who he like was a precursor to Alex Hanold,
- 1:58Speaker 2: but Alex is in the movie as well. It's sort
- 2:00Speaker 2: of like this competition thing. But like I will say,
- 2:03Speaker 2: the first five minutes. I was like, do I want
- 2:06Speaker 2: to watch a movie about a man who's like doing
- 2:09Speaker 2: feats of strength?
- 2:10Speaker 3: And then like it really grabs you.
- 2:12Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen people talking about it. It's so good.
- 2:15Speaker 3: It's like if you like Free Solo, if you like
- 2:17Speaker 3: Girl Climber With I like you, I like those movies alone.
- 2:22Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a really beautiful story. But yeah, that's what
- 2:27Speaker 2: I'm That's like literally just what I've been doing. List
- 2:30Speaker 2: it's just rewatching that. Oh how many episodes is it?
- 2:32Speaker 2: It's four, so it's like a pretty fast watch and
- 2:34Speaker 2: it's very engaging the entire time.
- 2:37Speaker 3: So there's all kinds of things. There's a redemption arc.
- 2:39Speaker 4: I mean it.
- 2:39Speaker 3: Wonderful, wonderful, it's all beautiful.
- 2:42Speaker 1: I like any good television.
- 2:43Speaker 3: Yeah, are you watching anything or are reading anything right now?
- 2:45Speaker 5: You?
- 2:45Speaker 6: Like?
- 2:45Speaker 1: I am reading a book called ken k I N
- 2:48Speaker 1: That's pretty good. It takes a while to get going though.
- 2:51Speaker 1: My friend is reading in with me and she already
- 2:52Speaker 1: gave up, so I guess I'm on my own on that.
- 2:55Speaker 1: And then we just added some dates to Nantucket. If
- 2:58Speaker 1: you are listening, come see me on the High Mighty tour,
- 3:01Speaker 1: you guys, I'm coming to you. I'm coming to Dallas, Texas, Irving.
- 3:06Speaker 1: It's Irving, but it's Dallas and Austin, and I'm coming
- 3:09Speaker 1: to all the odd the Texas cities. You can go
- 3:12Speaker 1: to chelsea other dot com for tickets for any of
- 3:14Speaker 1: my dates, but I just added a bunch. So our
- 3:17Speaker 1: guest today is going We are going to get stoned
- 3:20Speaker 1: again because the situation calls for it. And who cares
- 3:25Speaker 1: about my throat? You know her from Hacks. You know
- 3:27Speaker 1: her from Borat and her long running Vegas comedy show.
- 3:31Speaker 1: Please welcome back the original bad girl of comedy, Linelle.
- 3:35Speaker 1: Should we smoke this joint?
- 3:36Speaker 4: Yeah? Why not? You know mama lipstick?
- 3:38Speaker 6: Do you?
- 3:39Speaker 1: I'll give you your own?
- 3:40Speaker 4: Okay?
- 3:41Speaker 1: Well I like this. Do you want this one?
- 3:43Speaker 7: Yeah?
- 3:43Speaker 1: You take that.
- 3:44Speaker 4: I want to do it at the same time as you.
- 3:47Speaker 4: You already started without me.
- 3:49Speaker 1: No, I had, and this is from yesterday. I was
- 3:51Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you're the guest today because I was, like,
- 3:53Speaker 1: I want to. I haven't sat and smoked a joint
- 3:55Speaker 1: in my new podcast room for our podcast guest in
- 3:57Speaker 1: a while. Most people are sober these day. Have you
- 4:00Speaker 1: noticed this?
- 4:02Speaker 3: Why?
- 4:02Speaker 4: Why?
- 4:02Speaker 1: Why do you think that is. It's such a thing.
- 4:05Speaker 4: It went too hard, they did wrong ship and they
- 4:08Speaker 4: got burnt out real easier, real quick.
- 4:10Speaker 1: Yeah, but I know people that have gone too hard
- 4:12Speaker 1: and then they were back in.
- 4:16Speaker 4: Everybody can reel it back in.
- 4:18Speaker 1: Okay, you do you ever go too hard?
- 4:20Speaker 7: Oh?
- 4:21Speaker 4: Yeah, I went too hard.
- 4:22Speaker 1: Do you ever got cocktail too? I like this.
- 4:24Speaker 3: I'm having a cocktail.
- 4:25Speaker 2: I'm having a little old tom gin, which is my
- 4:27Speaker 2: new favorite thing.
- 4:28Speaker 4: That's going too far right there, that's right there.
- 4:31Speaker 3: I have to be able to read later, so I
- 4:32Speaker 3: can't with that.
- 4:33Speaker 4: Girl. You need to see my actual on what Well.
- 4:35Speaker 3: That's what we were talking about before.
- 4:37Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people went too hard
- 4:38Speaker 2: with gin in college or whatever, and they just like
- 4:40Speaker 2: they got sick.
- 4:41Speaker 3: On it once and they can't stand up.
- 4:43Speaker 4: Now that's stick on the multiple times.
- 4:46Speaker 1: What is the when did you have your biggest I
- 4:49Speaker 1: know your daughter's here, but she seems to be in
- 4:51Speaker 1: on that. Okay, great, So when was your biggest drug phase?
- 4:56Speaker 4: Oakland, visiting LA, but mostly in Oakland when I lived
- 5:01Speaker 4: in Oakland before I moved to l a permanently.
- 5:04Speaker 1: Okay, what time what time of your life was.
- 5:06Speaker 8: This before I had my daughter could answer, but who cares?
- 5:12Speaker 1: Did you really? Okay?
- 5:14Speaker 4: And maybe up to four years after and then that
- 5:19Speaker 4: was it. That was my big drug.
- 5:22Speaker 1: That was your serious drug. Face. It was that like
- 5:24Speaker 1: cocade or something like heroin? Any of those two? Can
- 5:27Speaker 1: we crack the doors in there?
- 5:29Speaker 2: Just for the hot box I'm getting?
- 5:34Speaker 1: So it's totally rude write them, But that was in
- 5:37Speaker 1: my house. This has been a saga my house moving
- 5:40Speaker 1: in here. I've been trying to get into this house
- 5:41Speaker 1: for about four years. So I need to break it
- 5:44Speaker 1: in with a lot. Have it a few weeks months? Maybe?
- 5:47Speaker 4: Really?
- 5:48Speaker 1: Yeah, so barely because I'm on tour too.
- 5:50Speaker 4: So I come out of the first black person in
- 5:52Speaker 4: your home.
- 5:52Speaker 1: No, you're not the first black person in front of you.
- 5:58Speaker 4: Did you hear that? M I mean besides workers?
- 6:04Speaker 1: Okay? So how did you get your shit together after that?
- 6:07Speaker 1: Eight years of hardcore?
- 6:09Speaker 4: Basically I was smoking crack, oh shit before it was
- 6:13Speaker 4: powder first, and then crack came on the scene. It
- 6:17Speaker 4: came on the scene. It wasn't like I went and
- 6:20Speaker 4: did it. It came on the scene.
- 6:22Speaker 1: It sound like you went and sought it out.
- 6:23Speaker 4: No, it came on this scene. Got it and when
- 6:26Speaker 4: it came on the scene and you know, always some
- 6:28Speaker 4: man and you tried with a guy and then I
- 6:32Speaker 4: didn't get it for a long time, like this is
- 6:34Speaker 4: no big deal? Why is everybody selling the shit for this?
- 6:38Speaker 4: And then you got it? I got it.
- 6:41Speaker 1: When you say you didn't get it when you smoked crack,
- 6:44Speaker 1: what do you just didn't get the buzz or the high?
- 6:46Speaker 1: Because when I think of smoking crack, and I was
- 6:48Speaker 1: around some crack smoking in high school, I'm sure you
- 6:51Speaker 1: find that hard to believe, but it's true. I had
- 6:53Speaker 1: a boyfriend who.
- 6:53Speaker 4: Was I believe it. I remember that John Rivers daughter Melissa,
- 6:57Speaker 4: was dating a crackhead. It was it was a documentary.
- 7:00Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, well that has nothing to do with me.
- 7:02Speaker 1: I mean, I'm oh, so you believe me, Okay, because
- 7:08Speaker 1: she's even whiter than I am, that's for sure. Yeah, okay,
- 7:13Speaker 1: so that's surprising. I didn't know she did it a
- 7:15Speaker 1: black eye.
- 7:16Speaker 4: I didn't say it was black. I said he smoked crack. Oh,
- 7:25Speaker 4: but she probably did date a black guy.
- 7:27Speaker 1: But when I was around people that smoked crack, and
- 7:30Speaker 1: I saw like the effect of it. It wasn't a
- 7:34Speaker 1: fun drug like people are literally looking out the window
- 7:37Speaker 1: for the cops. Like it's kind of like, you know,
- 7:39Speaker 1: coke on coke. I don't know what the draw is.
- 7:41Speaker 1: That would never be a draw for me.
- 7:43Speaker 4: The only thing I can compare it to is you
- 7:47Speaker 4: know when you go slowly up a roller coaster and
- 7:50Speaker 4: you go down. Yeah, imagine going up that fast. It
- 7:55Speaker 4: was like whow and then you want to do that again? Yes, yeah,
- 8:02Speaker 4: but it's I don't recommend it for anybody. It was terrible.
- 8:05Speaker 4: I got one good thing out of smoking crack. Disregard
- 8:09Speaker 4: for money because the money that I spent buying dope
- 8:14Speaker 4: and you don't have anything the next day, I'll spend
- 8:17Speaker 4: that same amount of money now on a watch or
- 8:20Speaker 4: a piece of jewelry, and then I have that forever.
- 8:23Speaker 4: So now I don't care about money like that, you know,
- 8:27Speaker 4: because I fucked out so much. It's like I'm gonna
- 8:30Speaker 4: make some more. I'm blessed enough to be able to
- 8:33Speaker 4: say that I'm gonna make some more. Everybody don't make
- 8:35Speaker 4: money every week, Chelsea? You know?
- 8:42Speaker 1: Do you like that? Chelsea? I'm of my calumonade that
- 8:44Speaker 1: you're drinking.
- 8:46Speaker 4: Could be stronger, but yes, okay.
- 8:48Speaker 1: It could be stronger. It's a day drink, but I
- 8:50Speaker 1: like that.
- 8:51Speaker 4: Oh is that what?
- 8:52Speaker 1: It's kind of like a light drink so that you
- 8:53Speaker 1: can have a couple.
- 8:57Speaker 4: I want to, don't you.
- 8:59Speaker 1: Is it a drink.
- 9:00Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like this, but I think it's got weed
- 9:04Speaker 4: in it.
- 9:05Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, probably it yet. But I love anything
- 9:08Speaker 1: that he does. His weed is strong.
- 9:10Speaker 4: I heard Snoop said, that's the only person who out
- 9:12Speaker 4: smoked him. Yeah.
- 9:14Speaker 1: I smoked weed with Willie Nelson. Yeah, on his trailer,
- 9:17Speaker 1: in his trailer and on it and his girlfriend or wife,
- 9:21Speaker 1: I'm not sure which one. She was there, and she
- 9:25Speaker 1: we smoked weed. I was very high. It's it's on
- 9:28Speaker 1: a TV show I did. I'm sure I wasn't just
- 9:30Speaker 1: doing this in my spare time. And I was high
- 9:33Speaker 1: the next day when I got up. Yeah. There was
- 9:37Speaker 1: two times where I've gotten so high that the next
- 9:39Speaker 1: morning I.
- 9:39Speaker 4: Was still high. The one person that I got that
- 9:42Speaker 4: high with and we I was doing it. I was
- 9:45Speaker 4: going to do an interview with him, but we got
- 9:47Speaker 4: so high. We did it on the floor. George Clinton,
- 9:50Speaker 4: Oh yeah, he's funny.
- 9:52Speaker 1: That would be fun.
- 9:52Speaker 4: Maybe, but no, this is lovely. This is a responsible drink.
- 9:57Speaker 4: Yeah right, this is a responsible drink. I'm not driving today,
- 10:01Speaker 4: so I'm irresponsible.
- 10:03Speaker 1: Congratulations on the last season of Hacks and being on
- 10:06Speaker 1: that fantastic show.
- 10:07Speaker 4: I wish I was on there more.
- 10:09Speaker 1: Yeah, I do too. You're so you light up the screen.
- 10:12Speaker 4: They didn't use me as much as I would have liked,
- 10:15Speaker 4: but it wasn't my show, his genie show. So I'm
- 10:17Speaker 4: just happy to be on it period. But you know,
- 10:21Speaker 4: you can't help. But with the writers that we had
- 10:24Speaker 4: and the scenarios that they wrote, you envy wanting to
- 10:28Speaker 4: do some of that fuck shit that they were doing.
- 10:30Speaker 1: Oh, that's a nice compliment.
- 10:32Speaker 4: Eva having never done the show before ever and getting
- 10:37Speaker 4: Hacks as her first show. Yeah, and then I found
- 10:40Speaker 4: out her lineage that her mother's fucking Lorraine Newman.
- 10:44Speaker 1: Anyway, back to drugs, So you got off? How did
- 10:47Speaker 1: you quit smoking crack?
- 10:49Speaker 4: It's the easiest, simplest thing. I met a man. We
- 10:55Speaker 4: fell in love in two weeks after I met him.
- 10:58Speaker 4: I put it down and I haven't touched it five years.
- 11:01Speaker 3: Did he give you like an ultimatum?
- 11:02Speaker 4: No, we got married. We got married in ninety days
- 11:06Speaker 4: and he just died. A couple of years ago and PD.
- 11:10Speaker 1: Were you together when he died?
- 11:12Speaker 4: Not really, because I couldn't take care of him. He
- 11:15Speaker 4: was staying with his daughter in Texas. But I would
- 11:18Speaker 4: go visit that. I go to the hospital he was,
- 11:20Speaker 4: you know, stay in the hospital. Did the whole ship
- 11:22Speaker 4: there the best I could under my traveling circumstances. This
- 11:26Speaker 4: is not my best angle, my fat next king of show.
- 11:29Speaker 1: Do you want to lie in your back?
- 11:31Speaker 4: No?
- 11:32Speaker 1: Do you want to sit on the floor? I would do?
- 11:34Speaker 4: You know how wishes I have? You humping?
- 11:36Speaker 1: I know, I know you couldn't.
- 11:41Speaker 4: Let me talk to people. Chelsea Handler has mounted me
- 11:46Speaker 4: on more than one occasion, and she's a total stud
- 11:50Speaker 4: when she does it too. She grinds on me. But
- 11:55Speaker 4: I'm just saying she'll do it, maybe not to you,
- 11:59Speaker 4: but she bounced. I have to find the very buoyant.
- 12:02Speaker 1: I will receive my affection eye on those who want
- 12:07Speaker 1: to see seek my affection or received my affection. That's
- 12:14Speaker 1: what I like. Uh huh, Yeah, That's what I'm attracted to.
- 12:17Speaker 4: I didn't fight her at all. I'm like, okay, man,
- 12:20Speaker 4: let's go it.
- 12:22Speaker 1: Remember yeah, I do remember that.
- 12:25Speaker 3: Maybe the director?
- 12:25Speaker 1: Are you coming this weekend? To the Vegas show. I'm
- 12:29Speaker 1: let's go gamble.
- 12:30Speaker 4: I know I got your invitation, it's in print, and
- 12:34Speaker 4: I am planning on doing that. I know that on
- 12:37Speaker 4: Saturday though, when I was planning on flying back, I
- 12:41Speaker 4: think I have to tape a promo for the Netflix
- 12:45Speaker 4: is a just with Lizzo. So if they do that early,
- 12:50Speaker 4: then I can make my two o'clock flight and I'll
- 12:52Speaker 4: be at your show. If they run late, I don't know,
- 12:56Speaker 4: but I'm hoping that because my plan was come to
- 13:01Speaker 4: your show, get hi, laugh my ass off, go gamble,
- 13:04Speaker 4: be oubnochious and fun and stuff like that.
- 13:07Speaker 1: Remember the time we first met, what was it Dave
- 13:10Speaker 1: Chappelle's fiftieth birthday dinner, and you were trying to smoke
- 13:14Speaker 1: a joint and she didn't want to smoke a joint inside,
- 13:16Speaker 1: and I'm like, you can smoke a joint inside. She's like,
- 13:18Speaker 1: we got white privilege. Then I was like, well, let
- 13:21Speaker 1: me help you with my white privilege. Do it together.
- 13:24Speaker 3: See you're an ally.
- 13:25Speaker 1: See the light that's ready, hear honey?
- 13:28Speaker 4: Thanks baby? See you think you grunted?
- 13:30Speaker 1: I so what's up with you and men? Are you
- 13:32Speaker 1: having sex with anybody?
- 13:36Speaker 4: Well? Oh sounds like a yes, well there's sex and
- 13:42Speaker 4: then their sex.
- 13:44Speaker 1: That sounds shady.
- 13:46Speaker 4: No, you know when you mess around, but you really
- 13:48Speaker 4: don't like at penetration stage yet?
- 13:52Speaker 1: Oh really you're not and you're not? Are you to
- 13:56Speaker 1: mess around?
- 13:57Speaker 4: I like the kids? Fine though, ship like that, like.
- 14:01Speaker 1: What you were describing what I was doing, and so
- 14:08Speaker 1: can What's what's stopping you from the penetration if you
- 14:11Speaker 1: don't mind the question?
- 14:13Speaker 4: Opportunity? Oh okay, well get the opportunity. Okay, so and
- 14:17Speaker 4: it's a long distance relationship and so boom boom boom.
- 14:24Speaker 4: But but the opportunity arises, it's going to go down.
- 14:29Speaker 1: Is the person you're talking about? Bill Cosby?
- 14:34Speaker 4: Not yet? Not yet. I'm waiting for my pills to arrive.
- 14:39Speaker 1: I hope you don't get a red pill, don't you?
- 14:41Speaker 1: You know what red pills are, like those Maga bros? Right,
- 14:45Speaker 1: red pill? What is that means? Like you've swallowed the
- 14:49Speaker 1: juice or like taken the medicine to believe in maga.
- 14:59Speaker 4: Stopping out mangu pill. No, I'm that anti megapill.
- 15:08Speaker 1: What do you think is wrong with men? Lunell?
- 15:11Speaker 4: Well, you know it's buddy, I just did a podcast
- 15:14Speaker 4: before I got here with two men, and the two
- 15:16Speaker 4: men that I was with all agreed that all men,
- 15:20Speaker 4: especially need therapy. They really need somebody to listen to them,
- 15:27Speaker 4: to talk to, to be honest with and transparent, because
- 15:31Speaker 4: I don't feel like they're even transparent with their mate
- 15:35Speaker 4: and stuff.
- 15:35Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 15:36Speaker 1: Because yeah, I just was thinking, you're not because you're.
- 15:39Speaker 4: You're not gonna tell it all.
- 15:40Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't. It's vulnerable.
- 15:42Speaker 4: You'll tell all that somebody you're paying though, but you know,
- 15:45Speaker 4: not not even your friends. That's what therapy is. They
- 15:48Speaker 4: hold all the secret, secret, secret secrets, right.
- 15:51Speaker 3: That's like my husband go talk to his friends.
- 15:53Speaker 2: One of them will be getting a divorce or something like, well,
- 15:56Speaker 2: what's what's going on? Like why are no information? Nothing?
- 16:00Speaker 2: Like why is she leaving?
- 16:05Speaker 1: No? No, But it is very refreshing when a man
- 16:08Speaker 1: does do that, when they do pay attention and they
- 16:10Speaker 1: gossip a little, or they're like I need they have
- 16:14Speaker 1: the tea exactly. But with that combination, you have to
- 16:17Speaker 1: have therapy and they have to be in touch with
- 16:19Speaker 1: their feminine you know, divine.
- 16:21Speaker 2: He's in therapy, so hopefully he'll start bringing home the tea.
- 16:25Speaker 1: Yeah, every man should start out in therapy and every
- 16:27Speaker 1: woman should doom are much.
- 16:30Speaker 4: More like we need the therapy because.
- 16:32Speaker 1: Because of the men, right, I know, they've inflicted us
- 16:35Speaker 1: and themselves indirectly, so they've heard that they've they've inflicted
- 16:40Speaker 1: themselves twice. So yeah, they're hurting.
- 16:44Speaker 4: Men are broken if it wasn't, I think, and pussy,
- 16:48Speaker 4: of course, is always at the base of this. If
- 16:52Speaker 4: the beIN loddens of the world and the terrorists of
- 16:55Speaker 4: the world, they're not home being affectionate and getting loved on.
- 17:00Speaker 4: They're sexually frustrated. They're pissed the fuck off. Which sexual
- 17:04Speaker 4: frustration will make you piss the fuck off at every
- 17:07Speaker 4: single motherfucking thing. How do you convince a bunch of
- 17:10Speaker 4: guys to commit war? They have no soul, they have
- 17:14Speaker 4: no height because they're not being loved on. And where
- 17:17Speaker 4: did that start? Back with the mama, with the daddy
- 17:20Speaker 4: you know, or whatever or whatever your upbringing is. And
- 17:23Speaker 4: if you not loved on, then you can't love.
- 17:26Speaker 1: Do you think that we're at an acute point like
- 17:28Speaker 1: in history or do you think this happens is pretty
- 17:31Speaker 1: much every generation with women figuring out men or crying.
- 17:34Speaker 4: I think it happens every generation. You know, our moms
- 17:37Speaker 4: didn't talk about shit. They're the secret keepers. The generation
- 17:40Speaker 4: before us, they kept the secrets. The generation before them,
- 17:44Speaker 4: we don't know. There were house wives mostly in their
- 17:48Speaker 4: place type thing. And then before that was gotten to eating.
- 17:52Speaker 4: I guess, I don't know.
- 17:54Speaker 1: Yeah, before that, before modern civilization.
- 17:58Speaker 4: Yeah, gonna fuck that up.
- 18:02Speaker 1: Well, we had a patriarchy. We've had a patriarchy for
- 18:05Speaker 1: ten to twelve thousand years, so before that it was
- 18:08Speaker 1: a matriarchy. So the last ten to twelve thousand dollars
- 18:11Speaker 1: ten to thousand dollars.
- 18:15Speaker 4: To say, I do, I like to think that things
- 18:19Speaker 4: would change in my lifetime, but I don't think so.
- 18:23Speaker 4: I definitely hope things change in my daughter's lifetime. But
- 18:28Speaker 4: it's just like, there's always going to be the assholes.
- 18:31Speaker 4: There's always going to be you know, when we're just
- 18:34Speaker 4: like not to get up. I don't do the politics,
- 18:37Speaker 4: but just like when this whole scenario is playing out,
- 18:41Speaker 4: clearly for anybody who has eyes that can see, there
- 18:45Speaker 4: are still people that are gonna ride with the fool.
- 18:48Speaker 4: So I don't think that we're going to completely be
- 18:52Speaker 4: in love and harmony on the planet. But it would
- 18:55Speaker 4: be nice if we could. I look back at fucking
- 18:58Speaker 4: movies like for it's a gum, right, and if you
- 19:02Speaker 4: just take it at the surface, it's the sweetest thing,
- 19:06Speaker 4: the sweetest time boys walking girls home from school and
- 19:11Speaker 4: carrying books and bikes and lakes and stuff like that.
- 19:16Speaker 4: That was amazing. You don't that's what you want to
- 19:20Speaker 4: leave in your head now, flip the book and people
- 19:23Speaker 4: still being hung, still being shot, still being drugs. So
- 19:27Speaker 4: I don't choose to. You know, there's all kinds of
- 19:30Speaker 4: stuff on Instagram now with the AI and they you know,
- 19:33Speaker 4: flashbacks and you know times had and stuff, and I really,
- 19:37Speaker 4: I really wish it could. Those good old days in
- 19:41Speaker 4: a lot of ways were good.
- 19:42Speaker 3: You know, there were good old days for a certain
- 19:44Speaker 3: type of person.
- 19:47Speaker 4: Yeah, but no everybody had them. Everybody had good old days.
- 19:51Speaker 4: Even in Tulsa they had good old days. And tell
- 19:54Speaker 4: the motherfucking shit got burnt down, you know what I'm saying.
- 19:57Speaker 4: There was good time, even back in the thirty forties
- 20:00Speaker 4: that they had good time. They had brothels and shipped
- 20:03Speaker 4: back then too, they had going on.
- 20:05Speaker 1: Do you think you would work out a brothel? I
- 20:07Speaker 1: would definitely, I'd probably run the place.
- 20:10Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you've got madam. Yeah, yeah, I think I
- 20:14Speaker 4: would could run one.
- 20:15Speaker 3: I think you both.
- 20:17Speaker 1: Yeah, we could open up our own brothel.
- 20:20Speaker 3: This might be a natural would service.
- 20:23Speaker 4: It would have to be my own.
- 20:24Speaker 1: Well, then we'd have to be sister brothels.
- 20:27Speaker 4: We now take the regular missionary mother.
- 20:34Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm definitely a fetish as we give advice on
- 20:39Speaker 1: this podcast. Are you ready to do that? Oh my god,
- 20:42Speaker 1: we have real people, don't Well?
- 20:48Speaker 2: Yeah, I saved some very juicy questions for you for
- 20:52Speaker 2: you answer.
- 20:54Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you've been on this podcast before, right, we've.
- 20:56Speaker 4: Done been a long time. I love no, I love
- 20:59Speaker 4: questions about to go and take my advice, but we'll see,
- 21:03Speaker 4: all right.
- 21:04Speaker 3: Well, our first question is just an email.
- 21:06Speaker 2: This one's not a caller, so Angelica says, Dear Chelsea,
- 21:10Speaker 2: I'm writing to ask for your honest thoughts on sugar dating.
- 21:13Speaker 2: Is it morally wrong to seek out an older, wealthy
- 21:16Speaker 2: man seeking a much younger woman and is willing to
- 21:18Speaker 2: compensate her financially. I keep going back and forth between
- 21:21Speaker 2: two schools of thought. On one hand, is this anti feminist?
- 21:25Speaker 2: Does this culture perpetuate misogyny and power imbalances. And on
- 21:28Speaker 2: the other hand, if these men are willing to pay
- 21:30Speaker 2: for my time and attention, why not take advantage For context,
- 21:34Speaker 2: I'm thirty three, independent, working and also in school. I
- 21:37Speaker 2: can stand on my own two feet, but extra income
- 21:39Speaker 2: would make life much less tight and maybe allow me
- 21:42Speaker 2: to finally book that trip to Portugal. I need your famous,
- 21:45Speaker 2: unfiltered and brutally honest take on this. I'm excited to
- 21:48Speaker 2: hear your thoughts, Angelica.
- 21:49Speaker 1: Would you like to start?
- 21:51Speaker 4: No, you start, but I definitely have my opinion.
- 21:53Speaker 3: Since we've got two madams talking.
- 21:55Speaker 1: About with two tops, all right, even though I'm about
- 22:00Speaker 1: nova were tops, I would definitely say go for it.
- 22:05Speaker 1: If you have no qualms about it and it's not
- 22:06Speaker 1: a moral issue for you, which it shouldn't be, then
- 22:10Speaker 1: do whatever you want that is going to make you happy.
- 22:12Speaker 2: I know.
- 22:12Speaker 1: I don't think it's I don't think it's sexist or
- 22:15Speaker 1: what was the question?
- 22:16Speaker 3: I think is anti feminine?
- 22:17Speaker 1: No, it's not, because you're you know what the situation is,
- 22:20Speaker 1: and you're getting money in exchange for your services basically,
- 22:24Speaker 1: so go for it.
- 22:26Speaker 4: I think.
- 22:26Speaker 1: I Yes, I think that's feminist.
- 22:29Speaker 4: I think they're not just paying for your time and attention.
- 22:33Speaker 4: They're paying for your time and attention and simplicity, Now
- 22:38Speaker 4: do I think.
- 22:39Speaker 1: Included time and attention is included.
- 22:46Speaker 4: What's the name Anna? He didn't get he couldn't so he,
- 22:53Speaker 4: in essence was paying for time and attention. There's old
- 22:57Speaker 4: guys out there like that, but but with the ones
- 23:00Speaker 4: that can fuck do want to fuck your little ass? Now?
- 23:04Speaker 4: Is it morally wrong?
- 23:05Speaker 9: Not?
- 23:06Speaker 4: I mean not in my opinion, you know, but but
- 23:10Speaker 4: it's gross. You know, if you can handle the grossness
- 23:15Speaker 4: of this old motherfucker wants to fuck you, and who
- 23:19Speaker 4: wants to fucker? Oh ass, motherfucker, this big, oh beast
- 23:24Speaker 4: motherfucker wants the fuck You's got all the money in
- 23:28Speaker 4: the world. I got somebody in mind, Please don't mind
- 23:30Speaker 4: need to tell you what I'm thinking about. They got
- 23:32Speaker 4: all the money in the world. But I mean, you
- 23:35Speaker 4: got a fucking what was that pretty woman? Richard Gear
- 23:39Speaker 4: is not paying for your time and attention, bitch, It's
- 23:42Speaker 4: somebody that you don't want to be with. So you know,
- 23:46Speaker 4: if you can deal with it, and you can handle it,
- 23:49Speaker 4: walk on that motherfucker's arm, proudbly with your motherfucking cardiac
- 23:53Speaker 4: ship and take the trips and do all that if
- 23:55Speaker 4: you don't mind spending time with this old, fat motherfucker.
- 24:01Speaker 1: That's exactly why I had the reaction I had, because
- 24:04Speaker 1: I kept envisioning myself with the choice I would make
- 24:06Speaker 1: is And it's like I couldn't do it, Like I
- 24:08Speaker 1: really couldn't have sex with someone unless.
- 24:10Speaker 4: I would just say you couldn't do it for a
- 24:12Speaker 4: long time. Don't say you couldn't do it, because everybody
- 24:15Speaker 4: hits a lick, you know. I'dn't been in a bit
- 24:17Speaker 4: with some idiot's motherfuckers, but not for a long time.
- 24:21Speaker 4: Maybe for that night, got that lick and moved on.
- 24:25Speaker 4: That gonna be this is cannot be reoccurring.
- 24:31Speaker 2: Well in these days, there's a lot of different ways
- 24:33Speaker 2: to do that. You can like just sell feet picks
- 24:35Speaker 2: if you don't want to actually like hook up me
- 24:37Speaker 2: the guy.
- 24:38Speaker 1: I mean, really, yeah, that's incredible. But it sounds like
- 24:41Speaker 1: if she's positing that question, like she's clearly thought it
- 24:43Speaker 1: through to a certain degree, and she.
- 24:45Speaker 4: Asked some kind of morals, so she wouldn't be asking about.
- 24:48Speaker 1: Them, right, you know, And I and I don't, But
- 24:50Speaker 1: I also don't think it's a moral judgment like or
- 24:52Speaker 1: I don't want to be morally judgmental of that. I
- 24:55Speaker 1: think it's like you're able to do that.
- 24:57Speaker 2: I think it's a fine line between what she's taught
- 25:00Speaker 2: talking about and just like a beautiful woman who dates
- 25:03Speaker 2: an older, successful, wealthy guy, like, where is the line?
- 25:08Speaker 4: I think successful wealthy though, does not equal handsome. See,
- 25:15Speaker 4: that's the payoff is that this gross motherfucker has got
- 25:18Speaker 4: a bad bitch on his arm. You're getting what you want.
- 25:22Speaker 4: The sacrifice is that you gotta be escorted around. And
- 25:25Speaker 4: then there's always an awkward moment when you're with this
- 25:28Speaker 4: old fuck and you see the finest motherfucker you've ever
- 25:32Speaker 4: seen in your life and you want to get it him,
- 25:34Speaker 4: but you're gonna fuck up the bag if you make
- 25:37Speaker 4: Big Daddy pissed off. Right, So it's a business, honey.
- 25:45Speaker 3: Well, our next question bred do we have Hannah on
- 25:47Speaker 3: the line.
- 25:48Speaker 1: Okay, Hannah einbinder. We're just talking about it, you.
- 25:51Speaker 6: Know it is.
- 25:52Speaker 2: She wants to talk about Hack season six. Okay, So
- 25:55Speaker 2: Hannah's kind of an interesting conundrum. She's thirty five, and
- 25:59Speaker 2: she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing in because I'm in
- 26:02Speaker 2: a situation that feels like it belongs on the podcast,
- 26:04Speaker 2: and I genuinely don't know what the right move is.
- 26:07Speaker 2: I was in an on and off relationship with a
- 26:09Speaker 2: man for a long time. The connection was intense, emotional,
- 26:12Speaker 2: and honestly pretty chaotic. We always seem to come back
- 26:15Speaker 2: to each other, even after saying we're done. When things
- 26:18Speaker 2: were good between us, we talked about having kids one
- 26:20Speaker 2: day once life felt a little more stable and settled.
- 26:23Speaker 2: It wasn't a crazy idea in our world. It felt
- 26:26Speaker 2: like something that action might happen down the road. Recently,
- 26:28Speaker 2: things blew up between us in a really hurtful way,
- 26:31Speaker 2: and he's now completely avoiding me. No conversations, no closure, nothing.
- 26:36Speaker 2: Then I found out I'm pregnant. He knows, but his
- 26:39Speaker 2: reaction was not great. Since then, he's basically disappeared. No
- 26:43Speaker 2: real discussion, no plan, just silence. I feel stuck between
- 26:46Speaker 2: wanting to handle this in a mature, grounded way and
- 26:49Speaker 2: wanting to call his mom, his friends, and everyone he
- 26:52Speaker 2: knows and ask what the hell is wrong with him.
- 26:54Speaker 2: Part of me wants to keep my dignity and move
- 26:56Speaker 2: forward on my own. Part of me feels like the
- 26:58Speaker 2: situation involves him, whether he likes it or not, and
- 27:01Speaker 2: avoiding it doesn't make it go away. Do I keep
- 27:03Speaker 2: trying to talk to him or do I accept the
- 27:05Speaker 2: silence and move forward without him?
- 27:07Speaker 1: Hannah, that's heavy?
- 27:09Speaker 4: Are you ready for Yeah?
- 27:12Speaker 1: All right, lunell, did you want to start?
- 27:14Speaker 4: I've had a relationship like that between the ages of
- 27:18Speaker 4: nineteen and probably up to about six years ago, on
- 27:23Speaker 4: and off, chaotic, motherfucker best sense ever, very deep and
- 27:29Speaker 4: all that shit. I feel like, blow up the fucking spot.
- 27:33Speaker 4: Tell every motherfucking body. Let him know. It's going to
- 27:36Speaker 4: come out one day anyway. The kid needs to know, like,
- 27:39Speaker 4: blow up the spot. Tell your mama, tell every motherfucking
- 27:42Speaker 4: body you fucked with the wrong one. But I'm sick
- 27:45Speaker 4: of women being left holding the bag. You know, these
- 27:48Speaker 4: motherfuckers just skeating. You make a baby and walk the
- 27:51Speaker 4: fuck away. That's not fair. And so you have decisions
- 27:56Speaker 4: to make, which is do I just take on this
- 28:00Speaker 4: burden all alone in my heart? Ready for it? What
- 28:03Speaker 4: will I say to the kid? Am I bitter? Or
- 28:08Speaker 4: why should he get off the hook with making a
- 28:11Speaker 4: whole human being? This kid now has a grandmother, now
- 28:15Speaker 4: might have siblings, and it's not fair.
- 28:18Speaker 3: No, it's not fair.
- 28:19Speaker 1: But I also think, like, honestly, let it. You have
- 28:23Speaker 1: to figure out a way to let it go. Yeah,
- 28:25Speaker 1: you can blow it up. Yeah, tell everybody about it,
- 28:28Speaker 1: like he should.
- 28:28Speaker 4: You got to get your mind that I'm bad blows.
- 28:31Speaker 1: But he should be accountable. He should be accountable for it,
- 28:34Speaker 1: and his family should know that he did get you
- 28:36Speaker 1: pregnant and whatever. But then let it, Like you have
- 28:39Speaker 1: to walk away from it with the understanding that he
- 28:41Speaker 1: may never show up. Right, he's already proved himself to
- 28:44Speaker 1: be unreliable, And don't hang your hat on something that
- 28:47Speaker 1: you don't need. You don't need somebody who's going to
- 28:50Speaker 1: be that kind of presence in your life. You need
- 28:52Speaker 1: to be a strong, independent woman who's gonna have a
- 28:54Speaker 1: baby by yourself, and then it's probably gonna meet someone
- 28:56Speaker 1: else that's gonna end up being her father because he's
- 28:58Speaker 1: not the one. Less he goes to like major therapy
- 29:01Speaker 1: or gets a major health Like, don't allow yourself to
- 29:04Speaker 1: be constantly disappointed by the same type of behavior because
- 29:07Speaker 1: he's already shown you who he is and you don't
- 29:09Speaker 1: have time for this. You're pregnant, now it's grown up time.
- 29:12Speaker 1: So if he can wants to come along, great. Otherwise, no,
- 29:15Speaker 1: you're gonna go do it on your own, and probably
- 29:16Speaker 1: better on your own, right, Frank.
- 29:18Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like solo parenting in this situation is
- 29:21Speaker 2: like the best possible scenario. But like that also doesn't
- 29:24Speaker 2: mean you don't have to file for like child support.
- 29:26Speaker 2: Like do file for child support. Do make sure his
- 29:29Speaker 2: family knows just in case they want to be involved
- 29:30Speaker 2: in the child's life. And even if he doesn't pay
- 29:32Speaker 2: child support right away, that doesn't mean you're not getting
- 29:34Speaker 2: a big check later, you know.
- 29:35Speaker 1: And you never know, he might in six years be like,
- 29:37Speaker 1: oh my god, you know what am I doing? This
- 29:39Speaker 1: is crazy? Right, But that's not your problem. Your problem
- 29:42Speaker 1: is you and your baby, right.
- 29:44Speaker 2: And the other thing is six years from now, Like
- 29:46Speaker 2: if you don't say anything to anyone, he could come
- 29:49Speaker 2: after parental rights and join custody and all that stuff.
- 29:52Speaker 2: So like it's better to get everything out of the
- 29:54Speaker 2: bag right now and move forward that way.
- 29:56Speaker 4: But I agree with you about to let it go
- 29:59Speaker 4: because times you want how hard to break?
- 30:01Speaker 1: What do you think you're gonna do?
- 30:03Speaker 6: What?
- 30:03Speaker 1: Based on our conversation, have you what's your game plan?
- 30:07Speaker 7: My game plan is I you know, I do know
- 30:10Speaker 7: his mom relatively well. I do know that she would
- 30:15Speaker 7: want to know and be a part of this. I'm
- 30:17Speaker 7: definitely going to communicate with her. I think right now,
- 30:21Speaker 7: I'm just focusing on what's best for me and what's
- 30:25Speaker 7: best for this pregnancy and the future of the baby.
- 30:29Speaker 4: How pregnant are you right now? How far? Yeah?
- 30:32Speaker 7: I just finished the first trimester, so I'm a little
- 30:35Speaker 7: over twelve weeks.
- 30:37Speaker 3: This is a really exciting time for you as well.
- 30:39Speaker 4: I hope you have a beautiful, healthy bab Yeah, thank you.
- 30:43Speaker 1: I know it doesn't sound like what your ideal scenario
- 30:45Speaker 1: would look like. It doesn't seem like that, so there's
- 30:48Speaker 1: like a minute for you to have to adjust. But
- 30:51Speaker 1: like you can't browbeat somebody into caring about something.
- 30:55Speaker 4: That they're not interesting. Are you working?
- 30:59Speaker 7: I am, yep, yep. I'm working full time and it's
- 31:02Speaker 7: a good job. I recently, in the last few years
- 31:05Speaker 7: purchased a manufactured home. It's newer, so I feel like,
- 31:11Speaker 7: considering the circumstances, it's not the worst and I am thankful.
- 31:15Speaker 4: You're gonna be okay. Yeah, yep, I will say this too,
- 31:19Speaker 4: as do you have any children? No, okay, it's the
- 31:22Speaker 4: only woman in the room with children. I know that
- 31:25Speaker 4: I was not prepared, I was not ready. I didn't
- 31:29Speaker 4: have you know, all that nursery shit set up. And
- 31:32Speaker 4: I have one piece of paper in my purse with
- 31:36Speaker 4: five people's phone number on it. Apparently I'm pregnant. I
- 31:39Speaker 4: think I'm gonna have a baby. When I do call them,
- 31:42Speaker 4: you don't. You're never really, really, really ready. But something
- 31:46Speaker 4: kicks in when you have this baby, and it's a
- 31:50Speaker 4: maternal thing, and it's genetic and it's scientific, and you
- 31:56Speaker 4: will become a version of yourself that you didn't.
- 32:00Speaker 1: No, you might even start smoking crack or Finnish asshole,
- 32:11Speaker 1: you know, Hannah.
- 32:11Speaker 2: I would also suggest pick up a book called there's
- 32:14Speaker 2: a book called Matressan's. It's not a new term, but
- 32:17Speaker 2: it's like a term a lot of people don't know about.
- 32:19Speaker 2: It's exactly what Luna was talking about, where like your
- 32:22Speaker 2: gray matter and your brain changes when you become a mom,
- 32:25Speaker 2: like all these different things. Physiologically, yeah, it's like a second.
- 32:29Speaker 4: Adult bird things us. It's nature. Yes, unless you're it's
- 32:33Speaker 4: a complete weirdo funck narcissists or some weird shit like that.
- 32:37Speaker 4: If you are just in your hormonal right mind and
- 32:41Speaker 4: you have this baby, it's like just how puppies take
- 32:46Speaker 4: the dogs. Think you're gonna it's it's it's just it
- 32:49Speaker 4: just happens. You'll be fine.
- 32:51Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Hannah. Any other questions we can answer
- 32:54Speaker 3: for you.
- 32:54Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I just want to like give you a
- 32:56Speaker 1: lot of love and support.
- 32:58Speaker 7: Yeah, thank you, Yeah, thank you, thank you so much
- 33:02Speaker 7: for taking the time to answer my email. And yeah,
- 33:05Speaker 7: it's definitely been probably one of the most challenging situations
- 33:10Speaker 7: I've ever had to deal with so far in my life.
- 33:14Speaker 7: So thank you so much.
- 33:16Speaker 2: In six months, we need to follow up email or
- 33:20Speaker 2: like maybe in eight months when you've like you know,
- 33:22Speaker 2: had a minute.
- 33:23Speaker 1: Anytime, anytime in your life where something doesn't go the
- 33:26Speaker 1: way that you planned for it to go is an
- 33:28Speaker 1: opportunity for you to go, oh my god, I'm going
- 33:30Speaker 1: to handle this like a fucking pro.
- 33:32Speaker 7: Yeah, that's thank you. Yes, I have been trying very
- 33:37Speaker 7: hard to reframe my brain and not just want to
- 33:41Speaker 7: cry all.
- 33:43Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
- 33:44Speaker 7: The hormones don't help, but I will definitely send in
- 33:47Speaker 7: a photo in about eight months or so, you'll see
- 33:52Speaker 7: how we're doing.
- 33:54Speaker 2: Yeah, and like you've got this, like you're a full adult,
- 33:57Speaker 2: you're thirty five, Like you're you've got this.
- 34:00Speaker 4: You know what the crying part is. I think it's
- 34:03Speaker 4: like when you finally realize I don't got got like
- 34:06Speaker 4: I'm caught, like I'm pregnant, like.
- 34:11Speaker 1: The brain stuff. I was like, if that brain stuff.
- 34:16Speaker 4: I'm saying this like oh my god, because I was
- 34:19Speaker 4: pregnant and I was like, this kid's got to come
- 34:23Speaker 4: out of me. Where will I be? How does this happen?
- 34:27Speaker 4: What's going on? Will I be in the store? Will
- 34:30Speaker 4: I'll be driving? Am I going to be alone? I
- 34:33Speaker 4: don't know what to do? How much has I heard?
- 34:35Speaker 4: There's all that ship?
- 34:36Speaker 1: I went, all, you're trapped anyway, We're gonna let you go.
- 34:42Speaker 1: We'll hang up, we'll hang up with you now. Thank
- 34:44Speaker 1: you for it, Okay, I.
- 34:47Speaker 7: Will thank you so much. Have a great rest of
- 34:50Speaker 7: your day.
- 34:51Speaker 3: By thanks you wonderful.
- 34:53Speaker 1: It's so funny that you say the thing of it,
- 34:55Speaker 1: because I was like, crazy, I've never even gotten that
- 34:58Speaker 1: far along with my That's all I when I think
- 35:00Speaker 1: about pregnancy, it stops at nine months of no drinking
- 35:04Speaker 1: and no, pardon, that's where it ends. Imagine, it's not
- 35:09Speaker 1: even about the kid first, It's about that period of
- 35:11Speaker 1: time where I have to incubate something.
- 35:14Speaker 4: Like yeah, but something in you also wants to stop,
- 35:19Speaker 4: wants to stop, something in you. I don't want the vodka,
- 35:23Speaker 4: all right?
- 35:24Speaker 8: Oh yeah, right to protect them, which is yeah, that
- 35:31Speaker 8: set of circles, Yeah, happened over there, I would Yeah, well.
- 35:37Speaker 1: I think you might be me. I mean, there's a
- 35:39Speaker 1: lot of similarities going to kid.
- 35:44Speaker 2: All right, Well, our next question comes from Cassidy and
- 35:47Speaker 2: she is calling in with her husband Brandon.
- 35:50Speaker 3: It's a couple. It's a couple, a couple, a little
- 35:52Speaker 3: lighter questions.
- 35:54Speaker 1: It's going to be about all watch, Cassidy says your Chelsea.
- 35:58Speaker 3: I'm thinking about drugging my husband for good reason of
- 36:01Speaker 3: cl I.
- 36:01Speaker 1: Told you about.
- 36:03Speaker 3: Here's the issue.
- 36:05Speaker 2: He hates flying and refuses to take anything for flight anxiety.
- 36:09Speaker 2: I'm no fan myself, but I've learned to manage my husband, however,
- 36:12Speaker 2: expresses every trepidation allowed, which gives me a helpful running
- 36:15Speaker 2: list of reminders of what to panic about when we're
- 36:18Speaker 2: trapped in a metal tube in the sky.
- 36:20Speaker 3: He also has the.
- 36:21Speaker 2: Scaries for days leading up to the flight, and especially
- 36:24Speaker 2: the return flight. He sometimes even hijacks sweet moments with
- 36:27Speaker 2: anxiety at random while on our trip. So on longer
- 36:30Speaker 2: scary flights, I take a nibble of xanax to subdue
- 36:33Speaker 2: the nerves or get some sleep, leaving my poor husband
- 36:35Speaker 2: to white knuckle it solo or worse ruin my high.
- 36:39Speaker 2: But he doesn't want to take anything. He won't even
- 36:41Speaker 2: trial run it. He's skeptical of most meds, especially not prescribed,
- 36:44Speaker 2: and insists he would rather suffer. He calls it exposure therapy.
- 36:48Speaker 2: I call it stubborn and childish. The thing is, we
- 36:51Speaker 2: fly a lot. He travels monthly for work mostly, but
- 36:54Speaker 2: we go back and forth between Austin and and Mice
- 36:56Speaker 2: several times a year, four hours of him catastrophizing and
- 36:59Speaker 2: me being the emotional support human. I've listened to every episode,
- 37:03Speaker 2: and I don't think you've covered the ethics of non
- 37:05Speaker 2: consensually sedating.
- 37:06Speaker 3: Your spouse Hypothetically.
- 37:08Speaker 2: Should I tell him to try breathing exercises, hypnosis or
- 37:11Speaker 2: shouldn't it just drug him and tell him afterward help.
- 37:14Speaker 2: My marriage is great, but our flights are turbulent. Cassidy
- 37:17Speaker 2: and Brandon.
- 37:19Speaker 1: Dude by guys, Brandon, mute yourself, Brandon an interest, Brandon.
- 37:25Speaker 1: You can't subject you can't subject the woman who loves
- 37:29Speaker 1: you to this kind of behavior. You have to start
- 37:33Speaker 1: taking you know what it's like what you're doing, Brandon.
- 37:40Speaker 1: It's like you have the magic pill. It's right here.
- 37:43Speaker 1: It will make your life so easy. It will make
- 37:46Speaker 1: your life's wife much easier. There's whatever version of it it's.
- 37:49Speaker 1: It could be xanax, it could be a kalana, and
- 37:51Speaker 1: it could be a joint. It could be I don't know.
- 37:53Speaker 1: Figure it out and then imagine. I mean, that's a
- 37:57Speaker 1: gift that you are giving to your life, and that
- 38:00Speaker 1: is decency, courtesy and respect. You'll think her later, yeah, right,
- 38:09Speaker 1: don't you agree?
- 38:10Speaker 4: You can't keep sucking up the trip, bro. Just drug him, girl.
- 38:15Speaker 4: He's not willing, you know, do it on the plane,
- 38:19Speaker 4: because you'll think that there's no way for you to.
- 38:22Speaker 1: Do it on the watching this right now, so I
- 38:25Speaker 1: think he's got his eyes closed.
- 38:29Speaker 4: She just drug him, girl, and tell.
- 38:31Speaker 3: Him to look out the window at the beautiful view.
- 38:33Speaker 1: And then you slip it on a more serious note.
- 38:36Speaker 1: I mean, I like that note.
- 38:37Speaker 4: Too.
- 38:37Speaker 1: But have you tried hypnosis?
- 38:41Speaker 4: No, I don't look like a hypnosis type of guy.
- 38:45Speaker 1: Okay, but you have to be open to these types
- 38:47Speaker 1: of things. You can't just sit around and suffer. You
- 38:49Speaker 1: do you understand that that's going to be a bigger
- 38:51Speaker 1: and become a bigger and bigger problem in your life.
- 38:53Speaker 4: No, he can suffer. He's making her suffer.
- 38:57Speaker 5: Well, I always get on the plane. It doesn't ruin trip, sir,
- 39:00Speaker 5: anything of that sort. It's just I always get on.
- 39:02Speaker 5: We've never not get on a flight because I'm too
- 39:04Speaker 5: anxious for it.
- 39:05Speaker 1: So no, I know, but that's not the point, because
- 39:07Speaker 1: you're torturing her while you're on the flight, your sweaty hands,
- 39:11Speaker 1: like your anxiousness, your anxiety is a problem for her.
- 39:16Speaker 1: When there's a solution, maybe you guys should fly separately,
- 39:19Speaker 1: and he oh, never.
- 39:22Speaker 4: Well, we do that.
- 39:23Speaker 3: So he's actually he's in New York right now and
- 39:26Speaker 3: I'm home.
- 39:26Speaker 6: So he'll fly by himself on Friday, but I will
- 39:30Speaker 6: definitely be by the phone, like the pilot's gonna be fine.
- 39:34Speaker 3: So that's why I had to come to you.
- 39:36Speaker 6: Guys, because I was this close to literally doing what
- 39:39Speaker 6: Catherine said and just putting a little zooage in this
- 39:42Speaker 6: water bottle, letting him take a good nap, and then
- 39:45Speaker 6: when we get there, then he'll understand that it's not
- 39:47Speaker 6: that pud right.
- 39:49Speaker 2: You know what Brandon, you might also try is like
- 39:51Speaker 2: a beta blocker, like a pro panelog.
- 39:53Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's easy. That's a nothing drug. That's not
- 39:56Speaker 1: like a xanax at all. It's not a benzodiazepine. It's
- 39:59Speaker 1: called a pro randal all and it's like a bit
- 40:01Speaker 1: of black carp But she said you won't take anything, right,
- 40:04Speaker 1: you won't even a prescription.
- 40:06Speaker 2: It's a prescription, but it's not going to make you
- 40:09Speaker 2: feel funny in your head at all.
- 40:11Speaker 3: It just like slows down your heart.
- 40:12Speaker 1: That's actually what it takes away any nervous anxiety.
- 40:15Speaker 3: Yeah, you just don't get nervous.
- 40:16Speaker 5: You have me?
- 40:17Speaker 1: Yeah, I do, actually outload of it upstairs. Do you
- 40:20Speaker 1: want something? I wish I had some for you, but
- 40:22Speaker 1: it doesn't. I just think, Brandon, like, do you understand
- 40:25Speaker 1: the point that you should? It would be nice and
- 40:27Speaker 1: respectful to be more open to suggestion when something is
- 40:31Speaker 1: kind of being become a real thorn in your partner side.
- 40:35Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean I understand what.
- 40:36Speaker 5: I try to really in as much as possible, but
- 40:38Speaker 5: I fly enough every time I do it. I don't
- 40:41Speaker 5: want to have to take a annex. I haven't done
- 40:43Speaker 5: it in the past, so maybe it's a lack of
- 40:45Speaker 5: knowing what it's going to be like. But I'm flying
- 40:47Speaker 5: at least once twice three times a month normally, so
- 40:50Speaker 5: having it takes annex every other week, it seems like
- 40:53Speaker 5: something I'm not really interested.
- 40:56Speaker 1: Okay, I understand that that's understandable, but there are there
- 40:59Speaker 1: are other solutions out there. You don't have to become
- 41:02Speaker 1: addicted to xanax.
- 41:03Speaker 4: I feel if his system is as clean as it is,
- 41:06Speaker 4: he could take a natural melanite, a meloton gummy and
- 41:11Speaker 4: just he'll go and just go take a little nap.
- 41:14Speaker 4: You'll wake up where you are. Like he said, he
- 41:16Speaker 4: ain't never missed no plane or nothing like that. He
- 41:18Speaker 4: starts three or fours just being a baby. And she
- 41:22Speaker 4: just has to girl. You said, for better or worse,
- 41:25Speaker 4: richer porous sickness in hell, psycho or no psycho. So
- 41:29Speaker 4: that's what you got to do to bring your husband
- 41:32Speaker 4: through the flight. You might just be struck doing a
- 41:34Speaker 4: girl unless you drugging.
- 41:37Speaker 6: Well, sometimes on like a Friday or something and we're
- 41:39Speaker 6: going together, I'm like, why don't you get on.
- 41:41Speaker 3: My level a little bit and we'll just hang out
- 41:44Speaker 3: have a little party.
- 41:45Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fine. Actually, you're missing out to brandon on
- 41:47Speaker 1: that you gotta be. You're so rigid, like, let it go,
- 41:51Speaker 1: let it rip a little bit. Life is easier if
- 41:53Speaker 1: you're just a little bit looser.
- 41:54Speaker 3: How about this. I think this might be a good compromise.
- 41:57Speaker 2: If you don't want to take anything, then you have
- 42:00Speaker 2: to go see either someone to do some hypnotherapy or
- 42:03Speaker 2: a therapist about this, or anal or anal. I thought
- 42:10Speaker 2: this question was gonna be about anal.
- 42:12Speaker 9: I don't really I don't really know much about the hypnosis.
- 42:15Speaker 4: What is that like?
- 42:15Speaker 9: What would that be?
- 42:17Speaker 1: I've been to hypnosis for smoking cigarettes and I didn't
- 42:20Speaker 1: smoke cigarettes for ten years after that. It was like
- 42:22Speaker 1: a three time thing. There's a guy named Kerry Gainer.
- 42:25Speaker 1: He's in Santa Monica, California. I know you guys don't
- 42:27Speaker 1: live in Santa Monica, but he works. I've had so
- 42:30Speaker 1: many friends have gone to him and quit smoking. It
- 42:32Speaker 1: worked for me. He does all sorts of he does
- 42:34Speaker 1: fear of flying. He does all different sorts of like phobias.
- 42:38Speaker 1: And his name is Kerry Gainer spelled with a K.
- 42:41Speaker 1: So if you know, that's one, but there's there's a
- 42:44Speaker 1: lot of those. I just know that one because I
- 42:46Speaker 1: live in la and that Armical Chaire is like two
- 42:49Speaker 1: or three sessions I think where they kind of hypnotize
- 42:52Speaker 1: you and go through the motions of getting on a plane.
- 42:54Speaker 1: And it seems to do the trick for a lot
- 42:57Speaker 1: of people, so it's worth trying, for sure.
- 42:59Speaker 4: Not can I ask you this, I don't know if
- 43:01Speaker 4: you don't know anything about me, I'm extremely blunt. Your
- 43:05Speaker 4: husband looks like he's a nice guy, but a blow job.
- 43:11Speaker 4: I'm sure he wouldn't be opposed to that.
- 43:14Speaker 3: Before.
- 43:15Speaker 4: Before maybe in the right away to the air now
- 43:20Speaker 4: I was like, where do you do that? Back those
- 43:22Speaker 4: days of old? And I bet you he would be
- 43:25Speaker 4: so relaxed he wouldn't even need a Melowton and nothing
- 43:29Speaker 4: like that.
- 43:29Speaker 9: Now we're thinking, look, who just perked on?
- 43:35Speaker 1: Somebody just came here?
- 43:37Speaker 5: We go.
- 43:38Speaker 8: I mean, when you're married, you got to do stuff
- 43:40Speaker 8: like we should submit this episode for a Webbie.
- 43:43Speaker 3: Absolutely mental health awareness.
- 43:47Speaker 1: Absolutely like, Wow, you guys, we nailed it. I think
- 43:51Speaker 1: we solved everybody's problem.
- 43:55Speaker 3: All right, do you have your marching orders?
- 43:57Speaker 1: Okay, oh, blow job and news blow therapy, and okay,
- 44:04Speaker 1: I love that.
- 44:07Speaker 9: I'm open to I'm open to the hypnosis. I'll give
- 44:09Speaker 9: that a shot.
- 44:10Speaker 1: And that's good. That's open to something. And also, let's
- 44:16Speaker 1: goody first he finishes the hypnosis and then he gets
- 44:18Speaker 1: the blow.
- 44:19Speaker 4: Job, and you'll be asleep like a little baby.
- 44:25Speaker 9: Bye, guys, thank you, by bye.
- 44:28Speaker 4: See they're laughing, So that's a good start.
- 44:34Speaker 3: Are you guys ready for another question?
- 44:37Speaker 1: Absolutely?
- 44:38Speaker 3: Absolutely. You're like, I'm surprised, like you guys are stone
- 44:41Speaker 3: but like you're pulling it out. You're pulling it out.
- 44:43Speaker 4: Really really good voice of reason. I'm like, fucking almost everything.
- 44:48Speaker 4: But she really, you know, people got the wrong This
- 44:51Speaker 4: is a smart ass bitch right here, and she's got
- 44:52Speaker 4: a really good head on turns.
- 44:54Speaker 1: People have the wrong idea about it.
- 44:56Speaker 4: I just think you're sluttie and drunk.
- 44:59Speaker 3: So so Jess says dear Chelsea.
- 45:02Speaker 2: I'm going to Spain for my forty first birthday celebration
- 45:05Speaker 2: and would love some advice. I'll be there for the
- 45:07Speaker 2: entire month of September twenty twenty six, with friends and
- 45:10Speaker 2: family popping in and out at different times, just like
- 45:12Speaker 2: you do, Chelsea.
- 45:14Speaker 3: I know you love my Yorka. It has been a
- 45:15Speaker 3: dream of mine to visit.
- 45:17Speaker 2: My most important question, what do I need to know
- 45:19Speaker 2: about having sex with men in a new country? Not
- 45:22Speaker 2: sure if I'll get lucky or not, but would love
- 45:24Speaker 2: some tips and or knowledge you may have on the topic.
- 45:27Speaker 2: She goes, men might be a bit presumptuous, more probably
- 45:30Speaker 2: a singular man. Love your podcast. My sisters and I
- 45:33Speaker 2: listen every week, all the best jests.
- 45:35Speaker 1: What does she What do you mean men might be
- 45:37Speaker 1: more presumptuous?
- 45:38Speaker 3: What she's saying, it is probably just me one man?
- 45:40Speaker 4: But like you.
- 45:43Speaker 1: Speak, Okay, Oh, I see well, I don't know what
- 45:46Speaker 1: to say about European men. I mean I find it
- 45:49Speaker 1: all men to be fun, like you can find fun
- 45:52Speaker 1: guys in a lot of places, definitely in Spain. But
- 45:57Speaker 1: I don't know what I would say that would you
- 45:59Speaker 1: have to look? I guess not being circumcised.
- 46:02Speaker 4: Not no Jamaica. You ain't gonna get you implicya. You
- 46:06Speaker 4: would get big Donald, but during a gets Applicia.
- 46:09Speaker 1: Down here in Jamaica specifically, just that island.
- 46:12Speaker 4: Well, I haven't been all of them but once when it's.
- 46:17Speaker 1: Very very that's unfortunate.
- 46:19Speaker 4: I don't like I don't go that often. Yeah, but
- 46:23Speaker 4: like you said, there is circumcisional regional differences. There's I
- 46:32Speaker 4: think that it's more fun to meet guys European guys.
- 46:37Speaker 4: You got an accent, you got a different culture. They
- 46:40Speaker 4: show you things, you learn things every day. These motherfuckers
- 46:43Speaker 4: here in the States have fucking had it pretty much.
- 46:46Speaker 4: And so I'm ball in an envy of going and
- 46:50Speaker 4: having a European romance.
- 46:52Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good time to go to your period.
- 46:54Speaker 1: It's a good time to go to Europe and it's
- 46:56Speaker 1: a good time to be with the European man. So
- 46:57Speaker 1: there's a lot to look forward to. And I don't know,
- 47:00Speaker 1: I've only dated one Spanish guy, and I don't know
- 47:02Speaker 1: how I would differentiate it.
- 47:03Speaker 3: Yeah, would you hook up with like a local? Would
- 47:06Speaker 3: you hook up with an ex pat?
- 47:08Speaker 2: Like?
- 47:08Speaker 1: You got to find someone you have a vibe with
- 47:10Speaker 1: and then have a good time.
- 47:11Speaker 3: And where are we meeting guys? I said at a
- 47:13Speaker 3: restaurant you have to be out.
- 47:14Speaker 4: And a beach bar Yeah, beach bars are fun.
- 47:21Speaker 1: Happens especially at night. A beach bar at night. I
- 47:23Speaker 1: like that till night.
- 47:24Speaker 4: That's when it's really fair. Daytail night. Yeah, webhit all
- 47:29Speaker 4: night long.
- 47:30Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, well those are all our questions.
- 47:33Speaker 1: That's okay, we can wrap it up.
- 47:35Speaker 4: I absolutely adore coming to see you in any capacity.
- 47:40Speaker 1: I love it, you know.
- 47:41Speaker 4: I don't let me just say this to the people.
- 47:44Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck about a lot of these bitches. Okay.
- 47:47Speaker 4: I played the game and I'd be nice, which is
- 47:49Speaker 4: a big thing for me because I used to not
- 47:51Speaker 4: even be nice. But I'd be nice and I played
- 47:54Speaker 4: the game. But there are certain people that I really
- 47:56Speaker 4: do funk with, Like I really after oh wow, I
- 47:59Speaker 4: can't go too long without checking in or sending a
- 48:02Speaker 4: message or something like that and letting them know I'm
- 48:05Speaker 4: thinking about them. And I watch what they do and
- 48:07Speaker 4: study and learn from. And that's you for me. I
- 48:10Speaker 4: never thought I was gonna know you, you know, and
- 48:13Speaker 4: I definitely didn't think we was gonna get along, and
- 48:16Speaker 4: then we are. I feel very like minded in a
- 48:19Speaker 4: lot of ways. And she's a lot of fun And
- 48:22Speaker 4: don't give a fucking you're not having fun in life.
- 48:24Speaker 4: Then you're fucking miserable. It's really only one reason to
- 48:28Speaker 4: be here is say if you get a kid, raise
- 48:32Speaker 4: a viable kid, and to have fun. I don't even
- 48:35Speaker 4: want to be involved with any guys. If they're not fun,
- 48:37Speaker 4: what are we doing. I don't need you to not
- 48:40Speaker 4: be fun. You are the fun I need, motherfucker. So
- 48:45Speaker 4: but I really enjoy coming here and seeing in any.
- 48:49Speaker 1: I love your chairs, cheers chairs. We've christened the podcast
- 48:53Speaker 1: room with a nice day of joint smoking. I appreciate
- 48:56Speaker 1: you for that. So I needed to break.
- 48:58Speaker 4: I need a plaque. I need. I'm down with a
- 49:05Speaker 4: plaque of the disc room Christen the Great lou Now, okay,
- 49:12Speaker 4: I want that. Next time I come over, I'll be
- 49:14Speaker 4: looking for it.
- 49:15Speaker 2: If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea
- 49:18Speaker 2: podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production
- 49:21Speaker 2: of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler,
- 49:25Speaker 2: and find Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea
- 49:29Speaker 2: is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law.
- 49:33Speaker 2: Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and
- 49:37Speaker 2: get tickets to see Chelsea Live at Chelseahandler dot com