149 | Can I Be Close Friends With People Who Don't Know About My Affair? The Difference Between Secrecy and Privacy

Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery · Aug 25, 2026 · 19m

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Can I really be close to someone who doesn't know? Am I being fake by not telling her? Who actually needs to know, and who doesn't?

A client asked me this recently and I haven't stopped thinking about it. She said it feels like there's a huge part of her she's keeping hidden, and it's not a small part, it's the thing that changed everything. So how is she supposed to be genuinely close to anyone?

Today I answer that honestly, including the part of the answer that…