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The Emotional Clearing Method: Releasing Trauma, Reclaiming Power with Meryl Hayton · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Bridges and Beacons podcast.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you're tuning in and that sounds a little strange, but you recognize my voice, that's just because we've made a little shift from the Mystic Nerd Squad podcast to the Bridges and Beacons podcast, really just honing in on shining the light on tremendous leaders in the world today and the change that they're making and finding out ways that we can really shift in our practices, whether they're spiritual, whether they're leadership practices, or any range of tools to become a stronger leader and to be able to make a difference in the world.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm very excited to bring to you a friend of mine that I met on LinkedIn, which PS, my friends, if you are not on LinkedIn, that is the place to be.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Her name is Meryl Hayden.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, Meryl.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's so lovely to have you.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm going to share a little bit about Meryl before we get into our conversation.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: She is the creator of the emotional clearing method, helping women release trauma, rewire limiting patterns, and reclaim confidence.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Through EFT tapping, energy healing, private sessions and retreats, she guides clients to embody inner peace, hope, joy, and confidence while stepping fully into their authentic power.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to jump right in.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: How did you get into working with women, especially when it comes to trauma?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: What brought you there?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I mean, from my early 20s, you know, I just wanted to feel better about myself, and I was just determined and um always a seeker to figure out how how to feel better about who I am, how to love myself more, how to believe in more of uh myself and my values, and um stand up for myself more and all of that.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, I think uh I mean, and I had a coach like back in my early 20s, like for a short period of time.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like nobody even talked about that back then, you know, because um, I mean, now I'm 56, so I'm you know, we're talking more than 30, like 35 years ago or something.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm talking about.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and you know, I was just always into like alternative ways of healing.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: I was selling, um, I had a nail salon for 30 years, and while I was doing that, I was also selling magnets for health and wellness that you could sit on or put in your shoes and you know, sleep with.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I had all the things, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I did that for a couple of years and it didn't really go anywhere, but um, you know, I was just always interested in um the alternative approach to health and wellness and um and the holistic approach, you know, and like how our emotions affected our bodies physically, and you know, just very interested in all that.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: And um, when I was 43, I decided to become a yoga teacher, and and I realized that I could really help people feel better in their bodies.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: And but what I loved is that my teachers taught and weaved in themes of self-development and self-love and self-acceptance and worthiness and all that.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, oh, that's me.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like that, that's what I wanted.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: I want to do more of that.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: How do I do more of that?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, I just learned how to become more of my own healer and wanted to.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: I just followed the breadcrumbs, you know.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, well, I can do this for myself.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: I want to do this for I want to do this for as many people as I possibly can.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because people need it.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, of course, I come across a lot of people who need it, but they're not ready for it, you know.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: But uh, you know, people really need it, they need to have somebody else help them see beyond their limitations, and that's what I do.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, I love that so much, and I relate to the the following the breadcrumbs, kind of like this is interesting, and I love that you had a coach when you were in your 20s, and you're right.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, back in at that potential period of time, that wasn't really something that people were doing, not like today, where there's not only does everybody have a coach, but everybody is a coach.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: It seems like um, I think it's just the way that coaching is such a great model for anything you want to improve.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we certainly have better access to people these days.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that's amazing.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you developed the emotional clearing method, and part of that is EFT tapping.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me about how you came to EFT tapping.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_03: So in 2017, I knew that was going to be my last year, like late 20 summer, summer 2017 to summer 2018.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: I knew I was going to close my salon in the summer of 2018, right?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: So I was teaching a lot of yoga classes.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: I cut down in the salon, I was really burnt out there.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: So I know I knew I needed to move on from it.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: And um, I was researching different types of energy medicine and energy healing, uh, more than what I had already known and tried, you know, Reiki and Sound Healing, and um uh I tried like SRT, emotion code, you know, like a bunch of different things that were just kind of at my fingertips.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, shamanic healing and you know, lots of things.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: And things, you know, all those things are all great.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: But um, I want, I, you know, I what I found first was a mind-body medicine practitioner.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh, that's really interesting.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: And there actually was a local job offer, and I was like, well, I don't do that yet, but I know how to do all those things.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I applied anyway.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: They didn't even call me.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: They you know, probably they were probably like, Why?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know why she applied, but there was just something I was drawn to, and I literally got, I don't know.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I forgot, where do you live?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in New Jersey.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you are so am I.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's uh see, we didn't know this, folks.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is great.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm in in North Jersey in Morris County.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I lived in Rockaway for 20 years.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I used to live in Rockaway.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is too funny.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: I live down the shore now in Ocean Grove.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wonderful.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: So very interesting, right?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so um I I forgot where I was in my story, but um I oh oh okay.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: The reason why I asked where you lived is because are you familiar with the Kropalu Institute in Massachusetts?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: So I got the catalog and I literally, you know, opened it like to the middle, and what was there was a mind body, you know, intro to mind body medicine class.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Oh well, I have to go take that, obviously.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's for me, right?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: So I go up there for four days, whatever, I take the class, and that coach ended up becoming my first coach, like more than the other woman was, you know, like back in my 20s.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and she did a little bit of EFT tapping, and she is part of if anyone who's watching knows EFT tapping and knows Nick Ortner and the big tapping solution organization and the app and everything that he has, she is part of his summits, um, the free, you know, annual summit that he does.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so her name is Dr.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: Kim Duramo.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_03: She's amazing.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: She was a doctor of osteopathy, is that how you say it?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_03: And um was in the emergency room working for about eight or nine years, and then left to only practice mind-body medicine.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: And tapping was something that she just used like um as one of her modalities, but she didn't teach it.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_03: And she talked a lot about worthiness when I was at this class, and I was like, this is this is it, this is my jam, you know.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: And it's funny because at first I didn't really like tapping, I didn't get it, it was annoying to me.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: But I said, Well, if I'm gonna do her program in a year and close my salon in a year, uh I'm just gonna follow everything that she does, and I did, and I'm I'm gonna have to like this tapping thing because she does it, and I just kept doing it and kept doing it, and then one day I couldn't go to sleep because I was traumatized by something that happened, and I said, Oh, well, let me try this tapping thing, and I did, and it completely dismantled what I was thinking about, and I went, uh, what just happened to my thoughts?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: What just happened to my feelings?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: What what just happened?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, I just had this profound moment.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, this this is it, this is my next.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like I just completely dove in right after that, immersed myself in as you know, the memberships and the trainings and the certifications, accreditations, you name it, I took it and still continue my education in it.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's just the the modality that has helped me get to the root cause of all of my stuff and helped me really rewire it, reframe it, shift it, and has given me the longest lasting results out of anything else I've ever tried.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: And for me, I personally like to be a part of my healing, not just go and receive.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: So that's also why I love it so much.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: Because I can speak in it, like helps me to feel more in control um and like independent, I think, in my in my healing journey.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I think that's so important.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's really funny to me because I was literally thinking about that today and the importance of taking ownership of your healing and not outsourcing it and really not, you know, expecting that you're gonna go to a guru, a doctor, somebody's gonna fix it for you when you have that the energy and and the capacity within yourself to heal yourself.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I love to hear that.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I I find tapping really fascinating.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I had a guest who was on at the end of last season.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Her name is Bob Barb Hubbard.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and she she's an ADHD coach, but she uses EFT tapping.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I like you, the first time I started doing it, I was like, this is weird.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is takes a long time.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a very patient person.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I'm like, I have to like keep tapping and doing everything.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: But the the real transformation with shifting those thought patterns that get stuck is so impressive to me.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: As somebody who has really experienced very stuck ruminating thoughts, the capacity by myself with no other person to shift that is huge.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_03: And I I say it all the time, even in like my reels and stuff.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like this work really does fascinate me all the time.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because every single person that I work with, even though we all might have the same words that we use, I'm afraid, I'm worried, I'm scared, I'm doubt, you know, I doubt myself, I'm second guessing, um, you know, feel like I'm not good enough.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like all, I mean, that's all I hear over and over and over.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: But the details of our lives are all different.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: So that's what's so fascinating is the connecting the dots of their current stressors to their past and to their stress responses, to their like I just was working with someone, and we have really gotten a hold of her hives.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: She's had bad hives for 20 years, and we really got into what that stress response is to her, and she's finally like not having the hives like she used to anymore.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's just incredible.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, did you feel that the the hives were more from an emotional or a traumatic component versus like an environmental like something?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's it was like her the manifestation of whatever was happening for her and her thoughts and patterns.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's how it was manifesting.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: That is that I think is really cool.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I've been on this, I'm a little bit of a nerd.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll say that like the science on the spiritual side, thus, why the podcast was the Mystic Nerd Squad Podcast, because I am the mystic nerd, but I have been spending a lot of time and and reading more about the energy of the human body and how we're not really completely solid.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And and I apologize if anybody has more information that understands this better than I do.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is my my novice understanding of it that we we are not actually solid, we are vibrating um at such a high level that we look solid.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: But if we can free that thought from our mind, the power of our thoughts, the power of manifestation, then we can allow our body to vibrate differently, which makes sense.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you think about frequency music, like different practices that do kind of try to alter the frequency frequency that you're at.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what I've been geeking out on.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it makes me feel like part of what happens with the EFT tapping is really releasing and helping the better flow of energy through the body.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Is that like am I crazy making these leaps, or does this sound like it makes sense?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're great.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: Because what I say in simple terms is when you're tapping on the main, the nine main points, we're hitting the 12 main Chinese energy meridian points, right?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you're tapping into the parasympathetic nervous system.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: So you're automatically relaxing your body as you're tapping to shift your mood, to shift your thoughts, to rewire your patterns, whatever you're doing, heal from your trauma.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: So it helps you process something that's a little more difficult and might feel difficult to your nervous system.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: So you're helping your nervous system stay calmer, right?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: Then your um the tapping helps to deactivate your amygdala, which is your stress response center.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: So it's helping to deactivate where the stress is in your brain, and then it's also deactivating the memory in the hippocampus in the back of the brain.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: So it's doing all those things.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: And then, because of the way that I was taught on how to guide people, I'm, you know, uh connecting the thought and the pattern and the feeling to the physical stress response.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: So to your tension, your heart palpitations, your chills, your sweats, your pressure, you know, your tightness in your chest, you know, whatever the thing.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: With my client, her hives.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: It could be pain in somebody's shoulder or hip, but you know, it doesn't matter.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I'm tying that all together, which really finds um where that stuck energy is and shifts it.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: So you can really help the body heal, similar to acupuncture, right?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Except they're using needles on the meridian points and we're tapping instead.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_03: So you can really help the body heal because you're shifting and creating energy flow.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but you can also like remove, I mean, I've helped people remove pain to so amazing.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where your emotional clearing method comes in then.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I found that I loved traditional EFT tapping.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm also trained in what's called optimal EFT, which is an upgraded um energy healing form.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um so we don't have to use tapping, it's just a um like an intuitive guided meditation connecting to a higher power and a loving moment and you know, many other things.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I just kind of intuitively guide people to heal relationships, to heal their trauma, to heal, you know, anything, anything under the sun.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so that's like the energy healing form.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_03: And because of that, I went back and I got my Reiki level one certification again, because the first time I did it, it wasn't really the great.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: So I did it again last year, and then I'm going for level two on November 1st.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I'm really excited about that.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I also have studied have studied law of attraction for many years, so that is a part of what I love to add into my world, plus the practical coaching and the intuitive guidance.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, I kind of have these five steps that I use all the time, over and over.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: I guess I kind of have a process.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: Now, the process with my private clients is not used in an exact science, but if I teach it in a two-hour workshop or over the course of a weekend with my retreat, it is like we're gonna do step one and then step two and step three, four or five, like that.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: So, what I did was I took the word clear from emotional clearing method and I created an acronym.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: So it's clarity of where you're at and your goal, because my work is very goal focused.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: And then letting go.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_03: So using EFT tapping and optimal EFT to let go and heal, um, and you know, move beyond everything that you want to let go of.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, step three is embodying.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: So, what you need to think and feel and um, you know, and and behave and the actions and all of that, like what you need to embody in order to get to your goals faster.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then the A is activating also within you um the thoughts and beliefs that you need to be in in order to get fast, you know, get to your goal faster.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_03: And then the R is reinforcing it all.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: So self-care routine, rituals, you know, affirmations, all that.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: So when I work with my clients privately, it's like we'll do step one and two for a while, probably, and then I'll start to integrate step five or three or four, you know, just kind of go with what I feel is needed at the time.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really cool.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I I like that there's a goal in mind.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're directing the energy somewhere.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are we what are we moving towards?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's very important because I could work with someone.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's very common for people to work with me for like three months.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: So say we're at you know, session nine or ten, and they're like, I don't know, I'm feeling pretty good.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: I don't really know what to work on.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: I go, okay, well, how do you feel about your goal?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, you know, the other day something happened where it made me feel like I wasn't good enough.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: I go, okay, there you go.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like, so there's really always something that can be worked on.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: And um, yeah.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I also think you can kind of get lost in like the self-improvement journey, because there's always something you can learn, something you can work on.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: If there's an endpoint and a and uh an answer to the question, so what?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if I then what does that look like?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is it I'm trying to improve my relationships?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: I want a new job, I want, you know, what is it that I want to shift in my life?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because you also have to have that measurability to to see like have I moved the needle from here to here and made a difference.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a really good thing.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I and that's why I do the long term programs because I want to help them integrate all this.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: Work into their real life, right?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: So they build the self-trust and confidence over time that way.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's interesting that you brought up that, you know, phrase like, you know, sometimes we can just do too much self-development work.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you need to surrender and have a break and you know, like just not do anything sometimes, right?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_03: So, my one of my clients now, she's doing really well, and we're coming to the end of her program.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, you know, if you want to take a break for a week and like not even have a session and just kind of think about what you want to end with or what still needs work, if you, you know, because if people have been living, if you know, this woman's in her late 50s her whole entire life, she's had resentment, anger, regret, guilt, sadness, hurt, all the stuff.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, like she's cleared so much of it, and she's like, I just want to be happy, and then I get it, and she deserves it, you know.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: So I was like, well, then take a week off, you know, at least, and we'll revisit.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think too, you know, speaking of like there's self-development, professional development.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're like it sounds like you're like me, like always looking to learn and grow and incorporate something else, sometimes you can forget to stop and just appreciate where you're at and what you've already accomplished.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that and that space is where I find freedom, is when I stop and recognize there's still a journey, there's still possibilities, but where I've gotten myself to today, I can enjoy and say, wow, this is amazing.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Look at this, look at this freedom that I've afforded myself in all of the things that I've been able to accomplish.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I can sometimes just sit back and appreciate that and not have to be actively doing something.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: And that's part of my embody and activate, you know, in my uh program.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's like remembering what you're proud of and what you've accomplished and and all the things.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes we forget that.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: And uh at least I know I do.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you follow human design at all.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm a manifesting generator, so lots and lots of energy, but my profile is a one-three.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the one is into like all the research and going down the rabbit holes and finding information and building foundations.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the three is experiential, and I can get super stuck in that one and that like I have an unquenchable thirst for learning new things, but sometimes I just have to stop and move on to trying things and implementing things and not get stuck in that loop.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's probably EFT tapping for that.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: There definitely is.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you've really shared a lot.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's pick a particular challenge that people might have and how we would kind of you would help them go through the process to either the EFT or the emotional clearing technique, somebody who's really struggling with people pleasing.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's a really common struggle for women.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's maybe one strategy or idea um that you might bring to the table for somebody?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, um, I would pick one relationship where you're people pleasing in it, and um and write down what your goal is for that relationship, right?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to let the relationship go?
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to improve the relationship?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like what really is your goal?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know, do you want to be able to stay in the relationship and stand up to that person with more confidence and and grace and be able to speak, you know, your mind a little bit better?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you really need to figure out what your goal is because if you don't have a goal, then you don't know really what you're tapping for, you know, or what you're using the emotional clearing method for.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because then you'll just spin your wheels.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_03: So that's first thing is what your what is your goal?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_03: And then you want to say, well, what's keeping me from my goal?
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: Uh well, I'm afraid that if I don't do too much for this, you know, if I don't overgive or overdo or people please for this person, that I'm gonna be alone, abandoned, yelled at, judged.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_03: What's the thing?
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: Now, maybe you have a couple of things that it comes down to.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_03: So you want to, you know, pick, um, compartmentalize each thing, and you'd tap on each thing.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: So let's just say, for example, it's um I feel that I might be abandoned, right?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't people please, and you would tap on the side of your hand and you would say, like, even though I'm afraid I might be abandoned, I'm honoring how I feel, right?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_03: You want to set it up three times and then you go through all the points and you tap like all this fear, all this fear, all this fear, right?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: And you want to tie in if you know where the fear resides in your body when you think about that, like what comes up about that?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: Do you feel like most of my clients will say it's either there's some constriction in my throat or my chest or my heart, or it's solar plexus.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, those are the three areas that are very, very common.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, solar plexus has to do with, you know, your confidence and um, you know, where your willpower comes from.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: And if you're not feeling very confident, you might feel something in that area.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_03: And um, the tightness in your chest could be um maybe a fear of, I mean, it could be connected to your heart as well, but you know, that could be um it just feels hard to take a breath when you want to speak your mind or something, right?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: And the same with your throat, it's like you're afraid to express yourself in some way because maybe when you grew up, people were screaming all the time, you know.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe when you grew up, your father left.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe when you grew up, um, you know, your parents were around, or maybe you were adopted or something like that.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I mean, there's so many reasons why people create these patterns, and tapping is the fastest way to figuring out what it is.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I just hands down believe that it's the fastest way, and then once you figure out what that is, and you connect your now current pattern to your past, then you can wipe out all of the events and the times when someone made you feel like you were going to be abandoned or you were abandoned, right?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: And then um, you can rewrite the stories, rewire the patterns and and all that.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: So um and it can be sometimes done in a few sessions, or sometimes it takes a longer time than that, you know, depending on um your upbringing and how much stress there was and trauma there was, um you know, and how much work you know people have done up until this point, you know, if they've done therapy, if they've tried other things, and you know, people can have an understanding all they want of what happened and dream and wish about what they want, but you know, if you are not getting into the feelings and not touching, you know, how it feels in your nervous system, you will not move forward.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to all the women who intellectualize their feelings.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_03: I do it realize right.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: You can't just heal reading a book, listening to a podcast, talking about your stuff with your therapist over and over and over, reactivating yourself.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, because it temporarily kind of gives you a little bit of a hope or something, you know, but it's not the long-lasting results that my program gives.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's that's so true.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking as someone who, you know, definitely a lot of my 20s and 30s intellectualized feelings, and I didn't realize I wasn't actually feeling them for a long time.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: So um it's kind of it's kind of crazy to me that you know uh you could go through so much of life and think that you're you're feeling and you're really not, yeah, you know, and and really being disconnected from that.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: But again, yeah, well, and that's why people both these patterns.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a recovered people pleaser, yeah, and perfectionist.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, same, same, both.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I've recognized, you know, when I I sort of see it as more a spiral of healing than like a true straight line because things will come up again in different contexts in a different light or a different relationship, and you're like, ooh, there it is again.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's circled back around, and you're like, okay, but I'm I'm looking at it with a lot more life experience and work on my body and my mind, so I can get to it a little better.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, as I say, like a different lens.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, so the lens used to be really cloudy or foggy or whatever.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: Now it's a lot clearer, and yeah, and you can shift so much faster now, you know.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, patterns where I used to stay in for months sometimes, you know, I can now shift, you know, in a day or less, you know, it's really amazing.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think I think it is amazing, and I think it's such incredible work because so many of us have these stuck thought patterns that feel impossible to to remove from our lives, and um they can feel like literal tapes that are playing, and at some point they just like even if it's not the same tape that was from somebody who said it to you as a child, like those that stuff is so visceral and really can hang out so well, you know, despite you moving on and all of the things that you do in your life.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the work that you're doing is so incredible.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: I want to shift and I want to talk about your retreat that's coming up in October.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's October 2025, if you're listening to this in the future.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I want you to share a little bit about what is the purpose of the retreat?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: What are you hoping that your attendees will get out of it?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, how can people join if there are still slots available for people to join?
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: So my retreat is called I Am Enough.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this is my second one.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: Well, really, my third, my first one actually was at Kropalu.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_03: I got to go back to Kropalu and teach my emotional clearing method there.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_03: I forgot to mention that.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: That was almost two years ago.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, so that was pretty incredible.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_03: Now I just showed up and taught my program I didn't have to do any of the other retreat stuff because it's a retreat center if people don't know.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, they handle everything.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_03: But I wanted to really learn how to lead my own retreats.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I got hooked up with this Orenda retreat center in the Cat Skills in New York, and um I did my first one there in April, and that was amazing.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I had a yoga teacher who also did human design.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so she did a little workshop for us and mini sessions for people, and then I had a massage therapist.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_03: And um, this time around, I have um a different yoga teacher.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_03: She's doing um sound healing session for us.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_03: She's also a Reiki master.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_03: So while I'm leading people through um a meditation, she's going to do Reiki on everyone.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and she'll also offer tarot card readings.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_03: She's a tarot card reader.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I do have a massage therapist that also does somatic therapy, uh somatic massage.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so it's really whatever anybody wants for the massage.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm taking people through my emotional clearing method uh program, and it's from a Thursday um late afternoon till a Sunday at lunch, and we'll be doing six sessions over the course of those days, and I'll take everybody through my five-step process, you know, in those days.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_03: And then on the property, there's a hot tub, there's a sauna, hiking trails.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's on 13 beautiful acres of rolling hills in the Catskills.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we all stay in one house, and um there are some rooms left.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_03: There, it's shared, it's mostly shared space.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I have a um private chef coming to cook all of our meals um that can definitely accommodate, you know, any kind of um dietary restrictions or whatever.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: And um what else?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then in between, there's plenty of time for um rest and connection, and I'm bringing an art project for people to paint rocks um so people can get creative and just kind of do that if they want to in some downtime.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so even though it might sound like a lot, there's plenty of space in between for people to just, you know, take a nap or relax or whatever, um, and get their tower cards read if they want or a massage, you know.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so really it's you know, when I first went to Arenda, it was to learn how to run retreats.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, I walked into the house and I was greeted with a hug and immediately felt at home and was shown to my bed, you know, and had like a gift there, you know, a little gift bag.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_03: And and that's exactly what people are going to feel and receive, you know, when they come to mind.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's like they're going to feel like they landed and they can really like completely let go of the responsibilities, um, and immerse themselves with like-minded people who are all there to transform and heal and be real and you know, leave shining more of their authentic selves.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's really what it's all about.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds heavenly.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds really heavenly.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll make sure all of the information for the retreat is in the show notes.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, now I'd like to shift into something new that I'm going to be doing on the podcast and getting some perspectives from my guests on using their voice and uh leadership.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, my first question is what does amplifying your voice mean for you right now?
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I mean, I think it's always meant, you know, constantly like up-leveling my titles, the way that I talk about my work, maybe niching down more, you know, and just speaking louder and louder about um uh like for me, I feel I'm just gonna, you know, just bring this back to what I do is like for me, I feel that people don't really understand the determination and the consistency that's needed for healing.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_03: And you can't just, you know, necessarily, like I said, talk about your stuff or um, you know, go to just a yoga class or maybe even do one session with somebody like me and expect these, you know, major, major results.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: So um I feel like that is where I'm really, really headed with amplifying my voice.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I I love that.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: I that's such a great answer.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: What's one myth about healing or leadership you'd love to bust?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: You already busted one about healing, but a myth about leadership or healing that you'd like to bust.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: A myth about leadership.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_03: Well, when I closed my salon um in August of 2018, I brought my clients home, uh, whoever wanted to follow me.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, oh, by the end of the year, I'm gonna have this full following, you know, of a whole coaching, you know, practice and stuff like that.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_03: And that did not happen.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I did happen to fall and I broke my wrist and you know, like I couldn't work for a while and stuff like that.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_03: But either way, even if that didn't happen, I would not have had a full following in three months or whatever.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_03: So I personally had to do a lot of my own healing work and you know, grow into a niche and you know, just learn a lot about um a lot of things, networking and marketing and all that.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't have to do any marketing really for my salon.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I had a brick and mortar, it was a lot different, you know.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I think that's maybe one myth, you know, that's coming to me is like, you know, you're not gonna build it overnight.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: You really need to to like learn how to to stay patient and have trust and faith.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's been my hardest lesson for sure.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm learning it, and then I'm I'm really, really like embodying it, and it's definitely made a difference.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I think that's that's huge, and so true.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the people who followed you for one thing don't necessarily want to know about the next, right?
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: So true, it is hard work, and I think uh sometimes there's a myth that it's going to be easy and just the more you want it and desire it, you're just gonna make it happen.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: But it you actually have to do the marketing.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're so right.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: If listeners could take away only one thing from our conversation, what do you hope it is?
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_03: That they have a choice.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: You have a choice to stay in your negativity and your patterns and your swirling and your spiraling and your anxiety and all the things.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: You have a choice to stay there or not.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love that.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, where can people connect with you?
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_00: We already talked about LinkedIn earlier, especially um for people who are entrepreneurs who want to connect with you, but where else can they find you?
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm on all the channels except for X.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_03: So um, and I'm I use my name for everything.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: So Meryl Hayten, it's my email at Gmail if you want to send questions to me.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's my website, MerylHayyton.com.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_03: You'll find all of my events and links for everything on there on my work with me page.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I'm on Facebook and Instagram, LinkedIn.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_03: I even have a TikTok.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not on that as much, but there's you know, little videos on there.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I do have a bunch of videos on YouTube.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I have a free workbook.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_03: I have a 23-page free workbook all describing my emotional clearing method.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and if you sign up and subscribe to my newsletter, you do get a seven-day tapping into worthiness freebie.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_03: So there's a lot.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're really such a giver.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: I can tell that about you, that you're really giving the in for people and making maybe the choice a little bit easier to move forward on their path.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: I want to thank you so much.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think this topic is so timely.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think there are many people walking around with stuck emotions, traumas, and it's really keeping them stuck.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're not able to move forward in their lives or achieve the things that they want to.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and maybe have never thought about the fact that it's it's their thinking and their patterns that are really a way to shift out of that.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that you shared that.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: We'll put the free tool um also in the show notes that you shared with us.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for that.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and make sure that we have your website.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: I really encourage you to connect with Meryl to follow her on LinkedIn.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and if that cat skills retreat coming up in October sounds amazing, if you're not from the area, I will tell you the cat.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: Skills in October is beautiful.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: Beyond it sounds like the retreat center is amazing, but it is a beautiful place to be in that time frame.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it sounds wonderful, and I really encourage you.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Any final encouragement for the listeners?
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_03: Any final encouragement?
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_03: What's coming to me is listen and follow your intuition.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_03: And if it's really hard for you to do that, learn how to do it.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_03: Learn how to get out of your own way.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: And um really, really trust yourself.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_03: Because your intuition will never, ever steer you in the wrong way, or you know, it'll just never steer you wrong.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's so true.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes me want to have a whole other conversation about intuition with you.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you're gonna have to come back for that.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, and I I don't know about you, but I found that my intuition, my intuitive hits are whispers.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're gentle, they're they're sometimes really quiet.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if I don't take the time to tune in and be available to them, I either miss them or I dismiss them because they're they're not as loud as my anxiety, let's say.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, exactly.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I've become way more intuitive because of all of the clearing and healing that I've done.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_03: So it's that's what happens with my clients as well.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I spoke on stage.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_03: I did like kind of, you know, like for it's not a TED talk, but you know, for a TED talk, you can't have any notes or anything.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_03: So I did a 10-minute speech um about how I learned to trust my intuition.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I have that.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_03: I did something, it's called the Audacity to Speak.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_03: I've heard of it.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_03: Susan Vernichik.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: So I that was last year.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um so yeah, very, very interesting, you know.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, how I ignored my intuition and then life was like, oh no, you're not doing that anymore.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, it's so true.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love this.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_03: I so we could definitely have a whole nother, you know, talk about that sometime, sure.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would love that.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: I would love that.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: I I think that that is such a good place to end.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I I hope that each of you listening has really gleaned from Meryl the possibility for you to be your own healer, to set the direction in your life, to achieve the goals that you have for yourself and to overcome many of these barriers that have felt like you would never be able to let them go.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: So please follow her and follow up with me and let me know how it goes.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: After your retreat, I would love to hear the experience that everyone had.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I would definitely like to welcome you to come back anytime.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like you have such tremendous wisdom to share.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: And we've all learned so much from you today.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone, thank you for listening.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to like and share this podcast.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you rate us and you leave a little message, more people will get to hear this.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we just know that it's going to make a difference in the world.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: Take care, everyone, and we'll see you next time.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.