Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / When you just can't get everything done

Transcript

When you just can't get everything done · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

0:00
Speaker: Hello.
0:01
All right.
0:03
Let me know that it's working, and I will try my best to see the chat here.
0:11
All right.
0:12
Welcome to the first Monday in October.
0:17
So great to see you here, and everything says I'm live,
0:26
and there are so many people.
0:28
All right.
0:28
Thank you, Dawn.
0:29
We're good to go then.
0:31
All right.
0:33
So this is our third annual Organize October, where I have extra podcast
0:39
episodes, extra emails, all kind of around a theme so that we can really
0:48
double down and make some significant progress in our lives in a particular
0:55
area before the holidays hit, basically.
0:59
Because October, that's what October means.
1:04
Like, September is all about getting that school year started, and we're
1:08
kind of head down, doing the things, getting the routine in place.
1:14
And October is this perfect time of space between the, the brand-new startup
1:26
time of September, which is a lot of work and effort and getting things
1:31
underway, and then next month is gonna be Thanksgiving and then Christmas.
1:37
And so that takes up a lot of mom's bandwidth, and it's supposed to.
1:45
So we have this big looming set of responsibilities coming up with
1:50
putting on the holidays, putting on Thanksgiving and Christmas and
1:54
New Year's, and we have this little window or pocket of time with October.
2:02
There are beautiful leaves.
2:04
Maybe there's still even a little bit of sunshine before winter really kicks in.
2:09
All kind of depends on where you're at in the world.
2:14
But it is a great time to really put, uhâ¦
2:20
to get ourselves- Um, you know, put together.
2:26
What we want, right, we want everything to be going smoothly.
2:30
We wanna get everything on our list done.
2:33
We want our house to be decluttered and organized and all the things,
2:39
and we can't have all of the things.
2:42
And so then we have to figure out what's actually important and what
2:46
things we should be working on.
2:49
And so in past years, we've done home routines, like cleaning routines.
2:55
Last year, we did a planner, getting our planner really put together, and this
3:02
year we are focusing on our attitudes.
3:06
Because really, our attitudes are what matter the most.
3:12
Our attitudes are what we need to organize first before we organize
3:15
the closets or the routines.
3:18
And our attitudes will make or break everything else,
3:23
especially the holidays coming up.
3:27
So before we, um- Before we plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas and have all
3:41
of those things together, we wanna get our frame of mind, our mindset, our hearts
3:50
in hand Because to have a convivial home for the holidays, which the holidays
3:57
are like pe- peak convivial time.
4:01
' Cause convivial means a festive atmosphere where we're enjoying life together.
4:08
And it really is about an atmosphere, and it's the
4:11
atmosphere that we create as moms.
4:14
And our attitude, our demeanor, our tone, our perspective is what
4:21
creates the atmosphere of our home.
4:24
So we have to figure out how to not be slaves to our own emotions, and
4:33
not just operate on whatever defaults are happening in our head, but really
4:40
Double down on aligning our thoughts with truth.
4:47
Here's truth, it's outside of us, and we take our thoughts and our
4:51
emotions and we line them up, match them up, conform them to truth.
4:58
So that's what we're gonna be focusing on all month long.
5:02
If you are just stumbling upon this on YouTube or a friend
5:06
shared it, or the podcast, then go to simplyconvivial.com/october
5:13
to get all the extra, um, goodies and bonuses and everything that
5:18
we have going on this month.
5:19
It's a free challenge, a free celebration of October that we're doing.
5:28
So, um, every Monday I'm gonna have a live like this, and every episode is gonna be
5:35
about changing the thoughts in your head, because really your emotions and your
5:39
responses come from what you're thinking.
5:44
And we actually can change what we're thinking about, and
5:47
changing what we're thinking about makes a huge, huge difference.
5:53
And we have a lot of our Convivial Circle members here in the chat.
5:58
So tell your own alignment card story or your own attitude story here today.
6:06
You know that it's true.
6:08
Whatâ¦
6:09
You can change what you're thinking about, and when you do that, especially when
6:14
you change your thoughts to be scripture- It will bring your attitude and your
6:21
feelings into conformity with reality and into conformity with God's Word.
6:29
And that's what we are really after here.
6:32
This isn't about, like, pulling yourselves up by your bootstraps, self-help.
6:37
It's definitely not manifestation or even affirmation, where, like, with un-
6:45
with affirmations, it can kind of feel similar or sound similar, where you're
6:49
putting some truth or some statement about yourself that you hope will be true in
6:56
the future, and you just start talking about it now as if it's already happened.
7:02
It, it's a way to, like, make your own truth by speaking.
7:06
It's, like, so clearly trying to be God for yourself, right?
7:10
Make your own self.
7:12
Be a self-made person by speaking your own self into existence.
7:18
That is gonna get you nowhere fast, or get you bad places fast.
7:24
We don't want to be trying to make ourselves into whatever we want to be.
7:32
We want to be giving ourselves back to God.
7:35
He's redeemed us, He's purchased us, and He tells us we can be conformed to Christ.
7:44
And so an alignment card is different from affirmation-type
7:48
stuff that the world does.
7:51
So an alignment card is taking God's objective truth found in
7:58
His Word, putting it on an index card, and reading it intentionally,
8:05
slowly, multiple times a day.
8:09
I mean, even though it's slow, we're still talking like 30 seconds or less.
8:13
And that reminds us of what's real and what's true and where we're headed.
8:19
It gives the Holy Spirit material to work with in our hearts and
8:24
our minds and reminds us to pause and notice the Spirit's conviction
8:32
and work and submit to it.
8:36
So
8:37
Find a scripture, maybe something that was read at church yesterday
8:45
Write it on an index card, post it at your kitchen sink or your bathroom
8:49
mirror or on your planner or on your phone, and look at it throughout
8:54
the day, and let that go into you.
8:57
And what this does, especially when we have so much on our to-do lists and, um,
9:05
we, we n- can never get to it, we start telling ourselves incorrect stories.
9:14
Um
9:16
You know, our stories about not getting our stuff done can
9:19
be, " I never get anything done.
9:23
I'm never gonna get to the end of this list."
9:26
And we just start spinning, and we need to interrupt those
9:31
self-pity stories with God's word
9:36
And then that helps us choose gratitude instead, which
9:40
completely changes our perspective.
9:43
You know, right now this week, I am really into prudence because with the Scholae
9:49
Sisters retreat coming up, we're gonna be speaking on prudence on Saturday.
9:54
Um, and prudence is about knowing what reality is objectively
10:05
outside of ourselves, right?
10:06
So it, it requires objective reality and a knowledge of that reality, and then
10:12
choosing according to reality and the goals that we were created to accomplish.
10:23
So our, like, big-picture end goal, like glorifying God and enjoying him forever.
10:28
We know God's word, we know God's world, and then we choose in accordance
10:35
with what will bring God glory.
10:38
That's the ultimate prudence
10:41
So
10:42
So when we get all stressed out about, uh, not getting everything done, never
10:50
finishing, um, not being where we wanna be in life, not having things go our way
10:57
in some form or another, really, they boil down to self-pity most of the time.
11:04
Uh, our kids maybe aren't doing what we would like, or, uh, our husband didn't
11:11
say what we had hoped he would say.
11:14
Our day is not going as we wanted it to go.
11:18
These are self-focused stories, and so we have to give ourselves handholds to
11:28
get ourselves outside of ourselves, and that's what the alignment card does.
11:33
We put truth and our reminders that we need in front of our face,
11:39
outside of us, visible, to bring our thoughts out of our own internal
11:46
spirals, out of being self-focused.
11:51
And it can even feel uncomfortable or painful in a way, a kind of painful,
11:59
because you are choosing humility.
12:02
You are choosing to put to death your own self-pity thoughts and choosing
12:09
God instead, and there is happiness and joy on the other side of that.
12:17
But that repentance turn from thinking about yourself and kind of nursing the
12:25
feelings of grief or guilt or sadness, that in a way are a kind of comfort.
12:35
It's weird, but that's what we're getting out of it.
12:39
It takes repentance, a turning, a rejection of that and a
12:44
turning to God that is painful.
12:47
Repentance is painful.
12:50
But on the other side of repentance is real joy.
12:54
Well, we give up ourself, we give up our self-pity, and we get God instead.
13:03
So it's gonna be totally worth it, but it requires repentance And so
13:08
repentance isn't just feeling bad, noticing that you did something wrong
13:12
and feeling bad or feeling guilty.
13:15
You, you start by noticing, and you do regret it, but then
13:21
the repentance is the turn.
13:23
Uh, in the Greek, the word that's translated repentance
13:26
literally means a turning.
13:29
So it's a change of focus.
13:32
So we, instead of having our eyes on ourselves, we put our eyes on
13:36
Christ, and we walk forward in Him.
13:41
So we say what we, you know, we call our bad attitude by its name.
13:47
Say, "I had a bad attitude.
13:49
I was selfish.
13:51
I am feeling a lot of self-pity.
13:54
I'm feeling discontent.
13:56
Lord, forgive me.
13:58
Please give me Your joy."
14:00
And then we put that truth that we have written on the index card, we
14:05
repeat that to ourselves, and we start praying in gratitude for where
14:11
we already are, gratitude for what we have done today, gratitude for the home
14:18
and the people that God has given us, for the salvation that He's given us,
14:22
for the calling that He's given us.
14:24
And when we start recognizing with gr- with gratitude all that God is
14:31
doing for us and has done for us, all those things that we were feeling
14:37
sorry for ourselves about just pale in comparison and kind of go away.
14:42
Even if some of those circumstances are still there, our eyes are on
14:49
Christ and what He is putting right in front of us to actually do.
14:56
And God's called us to abound in good works, to have zeal for good works.
15:02
Uh, he has prepared a path before us of good works for us to walk in.
15:08
So we're gonna be doing things.
15:11
God's plan isn't for our life to be, you know, just a cakewalk Good works are
15:18
often difficult, but they're good And God's delighting in us and through us
15:25
as we walk with Him and abide with Him.
15:27
And so when we're doing good works with our eyes on Christ, then there
15:32
is joy and peace even in the midst of being busy and wishing you could
15:38
do more than you are able to do.
15:41
And th- all those things which can create despair or discontent, um,
15:48
or feeling sorry for ourselves, those same circumstances just have
15:53
a completely different coloring when our eyes are on Christ.
15:57
And that can sound abstract and spiritual, and we don't really
16:01
know what it means or how to do it.
16:05
And so I think an alignment card, just taking an index card, writing a
16:10
verse of scripture, it doesn't even matter what verse really, because
16:14
all of God's Word is effective, and none of it will return void.
16:21
So take a scripture, something that you read this morning, something
16:25
that you heard at church yesterday, a verse that has continued to come back
16:29
to you, put it on an index card, put it in a visible place, and let that
16:33
get you outside of your self-focused thoughts onto objective truth,
16:39
remembering God and what He's doing.
16:43
And it will change the perspective, the frame that you have first for seeing
16:49
what's going on in your own life.
16:51
It will change your interpretive grid.
16:54
And the same circumstances will have a completely different cast.
16:58
And, um, you'll see the path forward in front of you with joy when you
17:06
are choosing to fill your mind with God's Word and walk in gratitude.
17:12
Yes, the alignment card is a ladder out of the pit of despair.
17:16
And it is, it's a, it's a step of humility because it seems like we feel
17:22
like our problems are significant enough, and deep-rooted enough, and big enough
17:32
that writing a Bible verse on an index card kinda seems like a third-grader
17:37
kinda thing to do, and, you know, our problems are not third-grader problems.
17:43
But, like, kinda they are.
17:46
Bad attitude problems are basically toddler problems, and this is a
17:51
path forward, and a part of that path forward is the humility to
17:55
recognize, like, this is all it takes.
17:59
God's word is so effective, and so much more effective than any of my
18:06
thoughts, that just one of them put on an index card in front of my face is
18:12
able to pull me out of my self-focused swirling thoughts That's true.
18:20
That's reality.
18:21
It'll hush the internal narrator.
18:23
It'll give the narrator something else to work on
18:26
And when we think about what God has to say about us and about the world
18:33
and about our lives by s- focusing on truth, then some of those stories, we
18:41
start recognizing the stories that we're telling about our own life and how they
18:45
don't really match up to what God is saying And we can put God's story in our
18:51
head Instead of our own and replace it.
18:54
So that's what the index card does.
18:57
So if you feel like you have too much to do, you never get enough done, you're
19:02
kind of sad at the end of the day, um, you know, there's just so many circumstances
19:09
in your life that you feel like you should be farther ahead than you are, you
19:15
should be this, that, or the other thing.
19:18
But just hit pause on that ticker tape list of all the things that
19:24
you are failing at and do this.
19:27
Put scripture on an index card, and whenever you start to feel that list start
19:33
clicking through your brain, go to the card, read that verse instead, and ask God
19:40
to forgive you for not focusing on Him.
19:44
Ask God to show you what you should do next, and just do the next good thing.
19:50
It is simple.
19:51
It's hard, but it is actually simple, and it really does work.
19:56
It really is so helpful and such a better way to live.
19:59
You don't have to fix all of your problems first before you have
20:04
joy or before you see progress.
20:06
You might be noticing all the problems, but you don't have to fix them all first.
20:12
First, you put your eyes on Christ, thank Him for His forgiveness and
20:18
cleansing, that He is giving you a path forward, and ask Him for
20:23
the eyes to see that path forward
20:25
And if God is content with incremental s-- baby step progress for you throughout
20:32
your life then you can be too So And that is the plan, and we're going to
20:39
continue talking about this all month.
20:42
Uh, you might get tired of it, but this is what we're doing.
20:46
I don't get tired of it, 'cause I need the reminders myself as well.
20:50
So little pep talks on changing that internal narrator, changing
20:55
our perspective, repenting, rejoicing, repeating all the time.
21:01
And we're, we're going to organize our attitudes this month.
21:07
So, so thankful.
21:09
All right.
21:11
I hopeâ¦
21:12
So if you can get reminders for our episodes, Ev- Monday lives
21:18
every Monday this month, and extra bonuses and stuff by email if you
21:23
go to simplyconvivial.com/october.
21:28
There's bonuses for sharing this with friends as well, if you
21:30
haven't gotten that as well.
21:32
So share it with friend, get some extra bonuses.
21:36
And I look forward to this focused month with you this month.