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X Minus One - "The Parade" (Old Time Radio, 1955) · X Minus One | Old Time Radio

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: George Lefferts wrote The Parade First for Dimension X in 1950,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and it returned five years later in a new production
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: for X-1. Originally broadcast by NBC on May 1, 1955,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: this is episode two of the series, directed by Fred
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Wyehe and featuring Alexander Scorby, Agnes Young, Joseph Curtin, and
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Joe DeSantis. In a New York advertising agency, publicity agent
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Sid Ryan receives an extravagant proposal from the enigmatic Lucha.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Build a campaign around Martians, culminating in a Fifth Avenue parade.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Ryan treats it as a publicity venture, but as the
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: promotion gathers public attention, the difference between the spectacle and
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Lucha's stated purpose becomes increasingly unclear. We now take you
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: back to the original broadcast.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Countdown for a blastoff.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: X minus 5, minus 4, minus 3, minus 2, X
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: minus 1.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Fire.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: From the far horizons of the unknown come transcribed tales
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: of new dimensions in time and space. These are stories
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: of the future, adventures in which you'll live in a
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: million could-be years.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: On a thousand maybe worlds.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: The National Broadcasting Company presents X-Minus-One. If you wanted to
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: take over our world with a minimum amount of resistance
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: and trouble, how would you go about it? Tonight, we'll
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: tell you how with a strange and chilling story by
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: George Lefferts, The Parade.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: You are Mr. Sid Ryan.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: The same.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: My name is Lou Char. I am a Martian.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Ah, pleased to meet you, Mr.
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: Lou.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Uh, What was that again?
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: A Martian.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: As in Orson Welles?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Precisely.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: I'm a Rotarian myself. Sit down.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: Now that we've had our little joke, Mr. Luchar, what
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: can publicity associates do for you?
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I am interested in obtaining publicity.
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: It has been my observation that advertising and publicity are
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: the very backbone of earthly civilization.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: Spoken like a true Martian, Mr. Luchar. Now, if you'll
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: tell me the name of the client.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: The client, of course, will be the Martians.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: You don't give up, do you?
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Give up?
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: The gag, I mean. Oliver! Yes, Mr.
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: Ryan?
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: This is Mr. Luchok.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: Mr. Luchok claims to be a Martian. Take him outside,
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: will you, Oliver? I am happy to see, Mr.
• 3:05
  Speaker 6: Ryan, that my telling you I am a Martian has
• 3:07
  Speaker 6: approximately the effect I guessed it would.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I believe we can do business.
• 3:14
  Speaker 6: I have here a cash retainer of $ 5, 000.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: $ 5, 000? Oliver, take a look at that wad of lettuce.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: It's the real stuff, Mr. Ryan.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: And my client is prepared to spend many times that amount.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Sit down, Mr.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Lucha.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Oliver, get the client a cigar, the 50-cent box.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: Yes, sir.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Well, now, what can I do for you, sir?
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: I wish you to manage a publicity campaign. A very
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: large and important campaign.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Is the product established, or is it something brand new?
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Something quite new.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: Now.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: What would you judge the most effective type of campaign?
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: Well, if the client has a lot of dough to
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: throw around, a suspense campaign is best. First, you place
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: ads in the paper saying, Watch this space. Then about
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: a week later, you run an ad saying, X, Y, Z,
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: or P, D, Q, and you get people guessing what
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: it means. Then finally, when you've teased them enough, you
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: bust loose and unveil the product.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Excellent. We will conduct a suspense campaign.
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: Of course, in this kind of campaign, secrecy is very important.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: Once the name of the product leaks out, it spreads
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: like wildfire and the whole campaign is kerfloppo.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Quite so, quite so. The utmost secrecy.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: Ah, you realize, of course, these things cost like crazy.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Would, say, one million dollars cover expense?
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Come again?
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I said, would one million dollars cover it?
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Why, yes, I am at.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: You did say a million.
• 4:42
  Speaker 6: I understood that you have handled some very large accounts.
• 4:45
  Speaker 6: Of course, if this is too big... No, no, not
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: at all, not at all.
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: I As a matter of fact, I seldom touch anything less. Right, Oliver? Huh?
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, of course, that's right, Mr.
• 4:55
  Speaker 8: Ryan.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: Absolutely right.
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: You will begin, then, by saturating the newspapers, the radio,
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: the streetcars with a very simple statement.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: What's that?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I will write it on a card. Here you are.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: The.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: Martians are coming. Say, that's not a bad teaser. Got that, Oliver? Yes, sir.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: The next ad will read, June 1st is Martian Day.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: June 1st is Martian Day. What happens on June 1st?
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: The parade takes place.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: What parade?
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: I wish you to arrange a parade up Fifth Avenue.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: You mean like the Macy Parade?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 5:39
  Speaker 6: Except that the theme will be the world of tomorrow.
• 5:41
  Speaker 6: The Martian world. My client would like it to be
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: a gay affair. Balloons, clowns, penance... Pretty drum majorettes? Say,
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: that sounds terrific.
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: I might be able to interest the department stores in
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: a tie-in.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: Fine.
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: The parade will climax the campaign. On June 1st, the
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: product will be unveiled.
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: Good enough. By the way, Mr. Luchar, just what is
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: the product? What are we selling?
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, Mr. Ryan. Secrecy, remember?
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but after all.
• 6:09
  Speaker 8: Mr.
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: Ryan, all will be revealed to you in good time.
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: For the moment, Let us say that we are selling
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: a concept.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: A concept?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: The concept of.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Invasion from Mars.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Uh, Sammy Sorrow, please.
• 6:35
  Speaker 8: Uh, this is Sammy.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Uh, this is Sid Ryan over at Publicity Associates. Listen, Sammy,
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: how you fixed for midgets?
• 6:40
  Speaker 8: I got midgets.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Fine.
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: I need 40 midgets for a parade.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: 40. June 1st. And listen, Sammy, I want them dressed
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: in little space suits.
• 6:47
  Speaker 8: In little?
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: Wow. You know, like men from Mars.
• 6:50
  Speaker 7: Mars.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: And I want some movie extras. Uh, maybe 50 of them.
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: Also rigged up like men from Mars. Make them look gruesome.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: Got that? Gruesome. Also, I need some horses with pretty
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: girls on top of them.
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: Maybe you can get that bunch from Maroney's Traveling Circus,
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: the one we booked for the Fireman's Parade in Albany
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: last year.
• 7:06
  Speaker 8: I'll try, sir.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: Never mind the expense. Just get me the talent.
• 7:10
  Speaker 8: Sounds like you landed a big client there.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: Who is it? It's a secret. I gotta hang now.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: Call me back, Sammy. How you doing, Oliver? Fine, Mr.
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: Ryan.
• 7:17
  Speaker 8: Just fine.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: I got a hundred small boys pasted in little stickers.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: The Martians are coming on the subway platforms.
• 7:22
  Speaker 8: Good.
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: We got full-page ads in all the dailies.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Good.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: And ten-second spot announcements on every local station.
• 7:28
  Speaker 7: Good.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: It's costing a fortune.
• 7:30
  Speaker 8: Good.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: The more it costs, the bigger our percentage. Spend like
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: you were going to the electric chair, Oliver.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: Yes, sir. How are you making out in the parade?
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: If it comes off, it'll be the biggest thing since
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: Bonham invented the midget. I've got maces, gimbals, and sacks
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: to contribute floats. Everything is built around the Martian theme, see?
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: Even the horses will have long feelers attached to them.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: And funny-looking extra legs.
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: It'll be sensational. That sounds fine, only... Only what?
• 7:53
  Speaker 9: Mr.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Ryan, we don't even know what we're selling. Oliver, my boy.
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: You think old Sid Ryan has been sitting here spending
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: all this moolah and not putting two and two together.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: You mean you know who Luchar represents?
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: Just by accident, understand? I have learned that Century Pictures
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: is making a big new epic. One of those expensive
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: pictures they make in secret and then spring on the
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: public because they don't want.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: The other studios to get the jump on them. What's
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: the picture?
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: A space opera titled Invasion from Mars.
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: Get it?
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, I begin to see.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: Also, by mere coincidence, it's supposed to have its premiere
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: sometime around June 1st.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: You follow me?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, but Mr.
• 8:33
  Speaker 10: Ryan, Century has an exclusive contract with New Features Syndicate
• 8:36
  Speaker 10: for all their publicity.
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: Suppose Century Pictures doesn't like the way New Features is
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: handling their stuff. They want to get out of the contract,
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: but New Feature says no.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: So they have to get around the contract.
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: A man named Luchar, client unknown, starts publicizing the Martian invasion.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: Need I go further? I don't know, Mr.
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: Ryan.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Sounds pretty far-fetched to me, but I don't know. That's
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: what I like about you, Oliver. You're so innocent. Now,
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: let me talk to Commissioner Patrick, please. Sid Ryan.
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: Hello.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: Commish, Sid Ryan.
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 9:14
  Speaker 8: How are you, Ryan? Fine. What is it this time?
• 9:17
  Speaker 8: You want to drop a man off the Empire State
• 9:19
  Speaker 8: Building into a teacup full of water? The answer is no. Ha, ha, ha. Also,
• 9:22
  Speaker 8: we're not arresting any fan dancers.
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: You know I don't handle fan dancers. I want a
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: permit for a parade. June 1st, 5th Avenue. It's a Sunday.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: There's no traffic. Now, look, Ryan, I.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: Macy's gets a permit. Gimble's gets a permit. The American
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: Legion gets a permit. The Sons of Aaron march every
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: time Morton Downey.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: Sings the wearing of the green. Oh, don't give me
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: a hard time, Patrick. This is too big.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: I have the 5th Avenue Merchants Association behind me.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 9:45
  Speaker 8: And fill out the forms. I'll pass them along to
• 9:47
  Speaker 8: the license commissioner.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: That's my boy.
• 9:49
  Speaker 8: By the way, what's the occasion for this parade?
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, don't you read the papers, Patrick? June 1st is
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: Martian Day.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: How is the campaign going, Mr.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: Ryan? Like wildfire, Mr. Lucha, like wildfire. Everybody and his
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: brother is going along with the gag.
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: Yesterday, we distributed 50,000 Martian hats to school kids. I
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: got some of the merchants doing World of.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: Tomorrow displays in their windows.
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: Every big novelty manufacturer in town is climbing on the bandwagon.
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: They want to get into the parade with floats, giveaways, anything.
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: Everybody smells a buck to be made. I wouldn't be
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: surprised if the mayor himself declared Martian Day. I've even
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: arranged for Commissioner Patrick to accept a $ 50, 000 check for
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: the policeman's benevolent fund from the man from Oz.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's terrific, terrific. My blood pressure's up to 200. Excellent. I, uh.
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: I understand Century Pictures spent over a million bucks making
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: that space opera.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I beg your pardon?
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, come, come, Mr. Lucha. Sid Ryan wasn't born yesterday,
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: you know. I know who our client is, even if
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: you don't admit it. You do? Always thinking that's me.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Well, as long as you know, let's keep it to ourselves,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: shall we, Mr.
• 11:06
  Speaker 8: Ryan?
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: As you once remarked, when these things.
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: Leak out, it destroys the surprise and ruins the effectiveness
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: of the campaign.
• 11:23
  Speaker 10: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ken Daly speaking to you
• 11:26
  Speaker 10: from our portable transmitter atop the reviewing stand for the
• 11:30
  Speaker 10: much-heralded Martian Parade on Fifth Avenue. It's a beautiful sunlit
• 11:36
  Speaker 10: day here in New York, a perfect day for a parade.
• 11:40
  Speaker 10: and the streets are packed with thousands of spectators all
• 11:44
  Speaker 10: eager to find out what this is all about. There's
• 11:47
  Speaker 10: an air of shrill expectancy. Some of the kids and
• 11:51
  Speaker 10: their parents have been camped on the curbstone since early
• 11:54
  Speaker 10: this morning to be sure of ringside seats when the
• 11:57
  Speaker 10: so-called Martians pass by. I've just had word from Saul
• 12:05
  Speaker 10: Brown up at Central Park Mall that the Martians have
• 12:08
  Speaker 10: landed from big pink balloons. And while we're waiting for
• 12:13
  Speaker 10: the arrival of the parade, we brought some people up
• 12:16
  Speaker 10: to our microphone to tell you their reactions to this
• 12:19
  Speaker 10: most spectacular of all publicity stunts.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: What's your name, madam? Miss Ada Shackley. A little louder, please.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: Miss Ada Shackley. And where are you from, Mrs. Shackley? Columbus, Ohio.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: I see.
• 12:34
  Speaker 10: And I see you have your family with you, too.
• 12:36
  Speaker 10: Two little curly-headed blonde boys. Are you in New York
• 12:41
  Speaker 10: on vacation?
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: We came for the Shriners Convention with their daddy. Well,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: what do you think of Martian Day, Mrs. Shackley?
• 12:47
  Speaker 9: Well, it all seems very strange to me, but the
• 12:50
  Speaker 9: boys have been pestering me to watch it, so we've
• 12:52
  Speaker 9: been standing here two hours.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: I can't make head or tail of it. Well, neither
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: can a lot of other people, Mrs. Shackley.
• 12:59
  Speaker 10: But judging by the thousands here today, there's a lot
• 13:01
  Speaker 10: of curiosity.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: Curiosity killed the cat, folks say. Well, let's hope not.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Mrs. Shackley.
• 13:12
  Speaker 10: And this is Mr. Sid Ryan, ladies and gentlemen. The
• 13:15
  Speaker 10: publicity man who's the brains behind the Martian Day stunt.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: Hello, Sid. Good morning, Kenneth. Easy, he's not so close
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: to the mic. Oh, sorry, sorry. Hey, Sid, you've certainly
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: lifted the lid this time. Looks like it, doesn't it?
• 13:27
  Speaker 10: Sid, there's been a great deal of speculation as to
• 13:30
  Speaker 10: exactly what all this is leading up to. I've heard
• 13:33
  Speaker 10: some folks say it's a big war bond drive of...
• 13:37
  Speaker 10: Others think it's just to stimulate local business. And, uh, look,
• 13:42
  Speaker 10: I understand in the trade itself. The smart money says
• 13:45
  Speaker 10: you're building for the premiere of Century's forthcoming extravaganza, Invasion
• 13:51
  Speaker 10: from Mars.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: Now, come clean. Can you tell us what the real
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: story is? Uh-uh, I can. I'd like to, but honestly,
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: I can't. Oh, man of mystery, eh? Are you going
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: to watch the parade from the stand here? No, Ken,
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: I can't stand noise. I'm going up to my office
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: and watching comfort. Well, thank you, Sid Ryan, and good luck.
• 14:09
  Speaker 10: And here they come, ladies and gentlemen.
• 14:12
  Speaker 11: The first units of the Big Martian Parade, swinging down
• 14:16
  Speaker 11: Fifth Avenue with fanfare, colored streamers, music, confetti, floats, all
• 14:23
  Speaker 11: the traffic's on a mardi gras.
• 14:29
  Speaker 10: And here in the vanguard is a whole troop of
• 14:33
  Speaker 10: little midgets in weird-looking pink and blue spacesuits.
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: Carrying Lou Goldberg weapons with signs painted on them. See,
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I can read one which says, Atomic Blaster.
• 14:47
  Speaker 10: Another one has a placard reading, We're Martian through Georgia.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: And here come the clowns. laughing and falling all over
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: each other.
• 14:59
  Speaker 10: They're giving free sugar candy to the kids.
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: Along the way.
• 15:04
  Speaker 10: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is a happy, laughing crowd
• 15:07
  Speaker 10: along Fifth Avenue today, a true reflection of the great
• 15:11
  Speaker 10: sense of humor and good nature that makes America the
• 15:14
  Speaker 10: place it is. This is promised as the climax of
• 15:23
  Speaker 10: the show. And now a great hush has fallen over
• 15:27
  Speaker 10: the crowd. It's quite a sight to see these thousands
• 15:31
  Speaker 10: of people standing here expectantly, hearing only the great regular
• 15:35
  Speaker 10: sigh of their mass breathing. And now here they come,
• 15:39
  Speaker 10: ladies and gentlemen, the Martians, marching in booted, helmeted ranks,
• 15:46
  Speaker 10: row after row of them. This is an impressive sight,
• 15:51
  Speaker 10: ladies and gentlemen. and a rather serious contrast to the
• 15:54
  Speaker 10: rest of the joyous slapstick parade we've witnessed. There are perhaps, oh,
• 16:02
  Speaker 10: 200 tall, broad-chested men dressed in metallic gray spacesuits with
• 16:08
  Speaker 10: thick glass visors drawn across their faces. Each is holding
• 16:12
  Speaker 10: an ominous-looking ray gun at the ready position. They're marching
• 16:17
  Speaker 10: in absolute silence, keeping step perfectly, as though some mute,
• 16:23
  Speaker 10: unspoken command were marking time for them. The crowd seems
• 16:29
  Speaker 10: rather grim and serious now. Perhaps they're reminded of the
• 16:33
  Speaker 10: actuality of war and possible invasion. They stand solemnly, silently, watching.
• 16:41
  Speaker 10: Even the children are awed. And now the first ranks
• 16:46
  Speaker 10: of the Martians are moving past us, down to Thavenry,
• 16:49
  Speaker 10: toward the reviewing stands at the square.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: No one moves. What's that? A woman. A woman, ladies
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: and gentlemen. She dashed out into the street. For what reason,
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 17:06
  Speaker 10: She attempted to lift the visor of one of the
• 17:07
  Speaker 10: Martian spacesuits, but just as she reached the Martian, she
• 17:10
  Speaker 10: fell forward in a dead faint. I tell you, I've
• 17:13
  Speaker 10: never felt such mass tension in a crowd as we're
• 17:15
  Speaker 10: experiencing here right now, today. All sorts of rumors have
• 17:20
  Speaker 10: begun filtering back through the audiences. There are excited whispers of,
• 17:23
  Speaker 10: she's dead, she fainted. And now an undercurrent of, what?
• 17:30
  Speaker 10: They're really Martians. This is an example of how a
• 17:34
  Speaker 10: single incident can precipitate mass hysteria, ladies and gentlemen. I
• 17:38
  Speaker 10: tell you, it's a mighty reassuring sight to see the
• 17:40
  Speaker 10: blue uniforms of New York's finest spaced every ten feet.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Or so along the avenue.
• 17:46
  Speaker 10: Somehow, I can't explain it, This incident has begun to
• 17:50
  Speaker 10: work on what was a moment ago a happy, carefree crowd.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: And the complexion is changing.
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: Mr.
• 17:55
  Speaker 10: Wright.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Did you see that?
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: A woman fainted. Of course I saw it.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: What do you suppose she saw?
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: Oliver, old man, did I ever tell you you were
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: too naive for this business? But that young woman ran
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: out into the streets to get a close look at
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: the Martians, and then she screamed and fainted dead away.
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: I'm well aware of that, Oliver, since I paid her 50.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: Bucks to do it.
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: What? The dramatic moment, Oliver, the stock and trade of
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: the good publicity man.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: Relax. Holy smokes, you sure think of everything.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: For my share of this deal, roughly $ 100, 000, I can
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: afford to.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: Think of everything. Shut the window. Don't you want to
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: see the finish?
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: We'll go down to the reviewing stand for the finish
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: right now. I want to make a phone call.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: By the way, where's Luchoff? I haven't seen him. He'll
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: be around. Boy, those Martians sure look like the real thing.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: How would you know the real thing if you saw it, Oliver?
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Gee, I don't know.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: Close the window, Oliver. Oh, yes, Mr. Ryan.
• 19:08
  Speaker 8: Sorrows Talent Agency.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Sammy, this is Sid Ryan.
• 19:10
  Speaker 8: Say, listen, Sid, I was going to call you. I'm
• 19:12
  Speaker 8: awful sorry about those Martians.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: What do you mean, sorry? They're terrific. Don't joke, Sid.
• 19:16
  Speaker 8: I mean it.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean it, too. They're great, great.
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: Are you in the bag?
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: Never felt better.
• 19:21
  Speaker 8: You mean it, don't you?
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: Of course I mean it. What is this?
• 19:24
  Speaker 8: There are Martians in the parade?
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: About 150. Of course, I only ordered 50, but under
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: the circumstances... Sid, don't.
• 19:31
  Speaker 8: You know I couldn't get you a single movie extra?
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: There's a studio strike in New York.
• 19:36
  Speaker 8: I was going to call you, but I figured.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Hey, wait a minute. Where'd these guys come from if
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: you didn't hire them? I don't know. Maybe Oliver... Oh,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: hold on. Oliver? Yes, Mr. Ryan? Did you hire those Martians? No, sir, I... didn't. Sammy,
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: this is on the level, isn't it?
• 19:47
  Speaker 8: Honest, I.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: Okay, Sammy, I'll call you back. What's the matter, Mr.
• 19:51
  Speaker 8: Ryan?
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I just don't know. I've got to
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: locate Lucha. What's Century Pictures' number?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Mr.
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Ryan, this is Sunday.
• 19:57
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah.
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: Well, get me their publicity director, Marty Sanford, at home.
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: Oh, yes. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Sanford.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: Marty, this is Sid Ryan. Oh, hello, Sid. How's the... Fine, fine. Listen, Marty,
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: this is dead serious on the level. Get it? What's wrong?
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: I've got to locate Lucha.
• 20:23
  Speaker 8: Lucha who?
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Lucha. Come on now, Marty. This is life and death.
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: The guy you sent over to hire me for the
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: invasion picture.
• 20:29
  Speaker 8: Invasion picture?
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: Invasion from Mars, the space opera. Are you batty?
• 20:33
  Speaker 8: Marty... That picture was shelved last month. What?
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 20:37
  Speaker 8: Back in the can. Too expensive and too fantastic.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: The big shots decided you can't sell a Martian invasion
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: to the American public.
• 20:43
  Speaker 8: And I never heard of a guy named Luke.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: What is it, Mr.
• 20:47
  Speaker 8: Ryan?
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: You look terrible. That's too fantastic. What's too fantastic, Mr.
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: Ryan?
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: Is something wrong? Open that window. I want another look
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: at those Martians. Yes, sir. Look at them. Oliver, you
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: were in the army.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, sir.
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: Could 150 movie extras learn to.
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: March like that in, say, 24 hours?
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: Not in 24 days, Mr.
• 21:11
  Speaker 8: Ryan.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Not a second's hesitation. Not one other step. Look at
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: the way they carry those ray guns at the ready.
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: The only other time I've seen troops march like that
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: was in a film of the Nazi stormtroops marching through
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: the streets of Paris.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: See those chests on them? That's pride. Sheer arrogant pride.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: Look at those chins. That's contempt. Nobody could act like that. Mr.
• 21:42
  Speaker 8: Ryan!
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: Oliver, get down there. Find that woman who fainted. Her
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: name's Gloria Montex. Get her up here. Make it fast.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Here she is, Mr.
• 22:01
  Speaker 8: Ryan.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I can't get much sense out of her.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: Stay away from me. Gloria, it's me, Sid Ryan. Oh,
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: don't kid me. You're a Martian. Gloria, settle down.
• 22:10
  Speaker 8: No, you're wearing a mask.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: Baby, it's me, Sid. And underneath, it's awful. It's all
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: big green eyes and those feelings like a cat's ears. Baby,
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: snap out of it.
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: Listen, what happened down there? You ran out and screamed
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: like I told you about the fainting.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: That wasn't the act. Oh, go away, please.
• 22:24
  Speaker 8: Go away.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: What'd you see?
• 22:26
  Speaker 8: Oh, no, please.
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: It's too awful.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Please, please.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: Just one question, baby. Inside that helmet, what did you see?
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: You won't get anything out of her, Mr.
• 22:35
  Speaker 8: Ryan.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: She needs a doctor. Okay, Oliver, I've heard enough anyway.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: You take care of Gloria here. Get her a drink.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: Where are you going? To see the commissioner. We've got
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: to stop this parade before things begin to happen. Okay, Ryan,
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: what's the beef? Listen, Patrick.
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: I don't know what it is, see, but something's wrong.
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: You've got to stop that parade. I suppose you'd like
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: the riot squad. That would get you a front page
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: spread on every paper in town. Honest, you publicity guys
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: give me a pay.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: This may be a matter of life and death. Oh, sure, sure. Look, Ryan,
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: I've got no time for your cheap publicity gags. I'm
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: a busy man.
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: Listen, I'm trying to tell you I don't know where
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: these Martians came from, who they are, or anything about them.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: All I want you to do is stop the parade
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: and make sure they're on the level. Uh-uh, Ryan. I'm
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: wise to your tricks. If you let the sergeant show
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: you out... You won't do it, huh?
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: An honest citizen appeals for protection and you refuse it.
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: I most emphatically do. Now beat him. All right, Patrick.
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: I'll go right to the mayor's office. I'll have you
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: busted flatter than a fried egg.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: Go ahead.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: I'm sure his honor will be glad to toss you
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: out on that phony nickel-plated skull of yours.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: You heard me, Ryan. You cannot see the mayor.
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: Adolph, please, this isn't a gag. I don't want publicity.
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: All I want to do is maybe prevent something horrible
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: from happening.
• 23:47
  Speaker 9: In case you don't know it, wise guy, something horrible
• 23:50
  Speaker 9: is already happening. A couple hundred little kids are in
• 23:52
  Speaker 9: the hospital with ptomaine poisoning from that phony Martian candy
• 23:56
  Speaker 9: you passed out.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: Or didn't you know? I didn't. We've got to stop
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: that parade.
• 24:00
  Speaker 9: Sure. Sure, you'd like nothing better than to start a
• 24:02
  Speaker 9: panic now. Maybe a few hundred people would get trampled
• 24:05
  Speaker 9: to death. Think of the newspaper space that would get
• 24:07
  Speaker 9: you and your product. I won't stand for this, Adolf.
• 24:09
  Speaker 9: You won't have to because you're going to get out
• 24:11
  Speaker 9: of here right now.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: Go on. Beat it. Get out. You and your publicity
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: stunts make me sick to my stomach. Oliver! Oliver, where
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: are you?
• 24:32
  Speaker 10: Oliver!
• 24:34
  Speaker 8: Oliver!
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: It is useless to scream at him, Mr.
• 24:38
  Speaker 7: Ryan.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Your friend is quite dead. Lucha.
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: He wanted to run to the police with some story
• 24:45
  Speaker 6: about a Martian invasion.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I found it necessary to restrain him.
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: Restrain him, you stinking murderer!
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: Now, now, Mr.
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: Ryan, collect yourself. After all our planning, it wouldn't do
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: to have everything spoiled, now would it?
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: Lucha, start talking and talk.
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: Fast, because when you get through, I'm going to take
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: you apart piece by piece.
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: What's this all about?
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: But surely you know, Mr. Ryan, after all, you've been
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: publicizing it for months.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: Listen, you.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: Please do not interrupt.
• 25:10
  Speaker 6: You see, before colonizing your planet, we Martians sent advanced
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: scouts to study your habits, your weaknesses. We found that
• 25:18
  Speaker 6: the people on Earth are predominantly conditioned by advertising and publicity,
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: and so... we conceived the idea of treating our entire
• 25:25
  Speaker 6: invasion as a vast publicity stunt.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Ever, hmm? After all, Mr.
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: Ryan, who would suspect an invader who advertised his invasion
• 25:35
  Speaker 6: in the newspaper, invited the public to his surprise attack,
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: and spent millions publicizing his plans?
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: Holy jumping catfish.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: You've done very well.
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: Then there was no product.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Ah, but there is a product. The product is.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Death.
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: What are you trying to do, Lucha?
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: We Martians are a humane people, Mr. Ryan.
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: We do not like to destroy thousands where a few
• 26:04
  Speaker 6: hundred would suffice. In exactly two minutes, our troops will
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: treat the world to a spectacle of death, which will
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: bring the rest of your planet to its knees in horror.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Nations will clamor to surrender.
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: Perhaps, Mr. Lucha, but not if I can help it.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: Go ahead.
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: Yes, please.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: Operator, this is Mr. Ryan.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: Get me the field telephone on the reviewing stand of
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: the Martian Day Parade.
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: Hurry.
• 26:31
  Speaker 8: Anyone in particular?
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: Just hurry.
• 26:37
  Speaker 8: Reviewing stand, Sergeant Cassidy.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Get me Commissioner Patrick.
• 26:40
  Speaker 8: Hello.
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: Hello.
• 26:41
  Speaker 8: You'll have to talk louder.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: I want Commissioner Patrick. Patrick! Patrick!
• 26:45
  Speaker 8: Wait a minute. Things are quieting down. Uh, now, what
• 26:49
  Speaker 8: was it you wanted?
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: This is Ryan. I have to talk to the commissioner.
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: It's a matter of life and death.
• 26:53
  Speaker 8: I'm sorry, you can't talk to him now. The chief
• 26:55
  Speaker 8: Martian is presenting the PBA check to him. The Martians
• 26:58
  Speaker 8: are going to fire a salute.
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: Listen, you've got to stop him!
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: What?
• 27:01
  Speaker 8: Stop him! I'm sorry, Mr.
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: Ryan. You idiot, the worst is going to.
• 27:14
  Speaker 8: This is the operator. I'm sorry, Mr. Ryan, you've been
• 27:17
  Speaker 8: cut off. I can't seem to get them back.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: Doesn't matter, operator. Nothing matters now. Good night.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: X-1 has brought you The Parade, an original story written
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: by George Lefferts. Featured in the cast were Joseph Curtin
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: as Ryan, Joe DeSantis as Luchar, Alexander Scorby as Daly,
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: Agnes Young as the woman, Ellen Deming as Gloria, John
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Thomas as Oliver, Arthur Anderson as Sammy, Wendell Holmes as
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: the commissioner, and William Keene as Sanford. Your announcer, Don Pardo.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: X-1 was directed by Fred Way. and it's a transcribed
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: NBC Radio Network production.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Next week, the tables turn.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Instead of Martians invading Earth, we bring you a tale
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: of men invading Mars. Ray Bradbury's brilliant short story entitled,
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Mars is Heaven. Suppose you were a member of the
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: first rocket ship crew to land on Mars. But instead
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: of seeing Martians, you find that you've landed in a
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: town that looks just like home. That all your dead
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: relatives and friends are there to greet you. So that
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: as incredible as it may seem, you think you're really
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: in heaven. That is, you think so, right up to
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: the fatal moment. The moment of X minus 1. Join
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: the Abbots on another baffling mystery tonight over most NBC
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: radio stations.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: X-1's The Parade has now reached its close. This is
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Victor Sterling.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: Until next time, good night.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Follow X-1 for more classic broadcasts.