Latest / The Pork Roll, Egg, And Cheese Podcast / Softball & Glow Sticks

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Softball & Glow Sticks · The Pork Roll, Egg, And Cheese Podcast

• Shamus: Hello everybody and welcome back to the Pork Roll Egg and Cheese Podcast. My name is Seamus. And I'm her. And Herbie: B Shamus: as always, you could be anywhere in the world, but you're here with us. And for that, we thank you. Today's show is brought to you by Scooper Heroes Pet Waste Removal Service. Give Andrew and Barry a call for all your dog poop scooping needs. You can reach them at 609-288-2568 or ScooperHeroesNewJersey.com. And as always, Big Bob Blacks Carrots. Is a sponsor. No carrot too big, no carrot too small. Big Bob waxes them all. For a free estimate, give Bob a call today and tell him the boys from P Rex sent ya. All right. Before we get into this episode, I want to introduce a friend of the show and also a friend of me and Herbie's for quite some time now. Long time. Her name is Charlene. Say hello, Miss Charlene. Charlene: Nice. Shamus: How's things going? How's your summer going? Charlene: Quick like everyone's Shamus: No doubt, no doubt. Charlene: ready for school to start. Shamus: Well, I was gonna say, you're a single mom, so I know you're ready for school to start. Charlene: I now understand my moms are like, I cannot wait for my kid to go back to school. Shamus: We kind of touched on that on the last episode too. We were just like, We don't want the summer to end, but I know parents are out there just like, Man, when is that bus coming? Charlene: Yes. Yep. Shamus: Unfortunately we cannot talk to Miss Charlene about what she does for a living because just like me, being a state employee, she signs a disclaimer stating that she can no longer talk to the media or any press or anything related to I guess social media, whatever about her job. But she is gonna tell us about, recently becoming a single mom, some of the struggles that she, encounters and deals with, and hopefully, if any of our female listeners or even single fathers out there, have the same issues or problems, they can maybe get some advice from Miss Charlene or email us. maybe get some networking done or something, or or have any suggestions or opinions. You can always hit us off at Team Porcroll Two Five at Gmail dot com. So, like we said before, you're a single mom recently, unfortunately, and my condolences as always. Thank you. How's it been since? Charlene: Rough. It's gonna be a year next month, nine eleven. So Shamus: Do you like would you like to kind of touch on it like prior to or I know you said you Herbie: Yeah, 'cause some people might think it's a divorce or something like that, but this is a little bit more you know, a lot more serious than just Charlene: Yeah, so my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer nine years ago and was doing very well. last year it came back April with like a vengeance and then he passed like I said, on nine eleven. So nine eleven is also nine eleven for the world. Yeah. My mom passed away ten years ago, that's her birthday. So that morning waking up, he was already on hospice and then I had to, you know, make that decision on what the next step was. That was probably the hardest day of my life. Again. but I remember my sister saying to me, Look, take it like this. Nobody wants it to happen. You never want it to happen. but it's mommy's way of maybe saying to you, I got him from here. So that sat with me. you know, and then unfortunately he passed away that night. next morning, you know, funeral right to the funeral house, making all the arrangements and then really then waking up and being like shit, reality set in. I'm, you know, I'm raising our daughter by myself. Listen, I have a complete army that helps me out every day, every you know, every ch you know, for anything that I need. but then coming home, closed doors and it's just you and your daughter, yeah, a different reality kind of, you know, sets in as well. Herbie: Like your your neighborhood is like everyone's like real close to you so you got a like a great support system even for the benefit that you guys threw for Jesse too. So that's yeah. Charlene: Yes. Shamus: Well I know exactly that's when it kind of I didn't lose a wife. when my mom passed away, I was the executor So, the next day, like you said, you meet with the funeral people, make all those arrangements. then you gotta go and handle but it was after her viewing and her services and after the wake when everybody left that night. That's when I was kinda like, Holy shit, she's gone. It right. And that's when it really hit home for me. nothing compared to what obviously you're dealing with. But you know, she did so much for my family that it was kind of like, shit, now what do we do? And I kinda took the reins on that and but Charlene: And then you see who is still your family and who is still your friend and s you know, 'cause everyone says if you need anything call. If you need anything call and you do and you're like, it's been three weeks and you know, people start you then really know who your friends and family are. Well that Shamus: that and thank god one thing about my family and I thought it was gonna be totally different. when somebody passes away money does weird things to people And you know, we didn't argue, we didn't fight, but I've known families that have been torn apart. People don't talk to each other after I think you said you experienced a little bit of that. We were Charlene: Not not with my mom, but with my in laws. Yeah. We there's no relationship at all. There haven't been for even leading up to his passing. We don't talk you know. Herbie: It's a shame too, 'cause I I see that stuff at the hospital all the time too, you know, 'cause you'll have like people in the ICU that are f or are hospice and all the family members are there and there's sometimes it's just a little civil war going on, man. It's just nuts to see that, you know, especially in the in that type of environment of of like of the events that are Shamus: Well, I mean in her case, I mean they they kinda turned their back on their granddaughter too. I mean that kinda sucks for her daughter. Yeah. Now she's out not only a dad, but now she's out grandparents. Charlene: A whole family. Herbie: Yeah, Dude, Shamus: Family. Herbie: I got stories for you guys too. All the listeners that are listening right now, they're probably mad. Probably you know, there's a lot of people going through the same stuff. Charlene: Yeah. and then people either come in or come out. They're wait, I haven't seen you or your husband in fifteen years, but can I have one of his softball? Can I have one of his? And I'm like, get the fuck away from me. You know? Like you came, you never came to see him. You never, you know. And now you want and want and want like piss off. Shamus: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was another that's another thing that happens. People show up and I'm like like I d I do your mom like twenty years what the fuck are you doing here now? Charlene: But then you become the bad person when you say no, when you say, you know, she Herbie: promised me that shaving dish. Like that crystal that crystal ball promised Charlene: Now Herbie: it to me. Like, right, well Charlene: Yeah. Shamus: Well since then how are things going? Charlene: they're getting better. Like I said, next month'll be a year. so it's kind of like, you know, a groundhog's day every day. Yeah. Wake up, you know, beat your daughter out the door, go to work, come home, dinner, you know, clean up, play for a little bit, showers, bed, repeat. Herbie: Yeah. Get us a wild macaroni. Charlene: Some Wawa macaroni and cheese. Dollar general every Saturday. Shamus: Dino Nuggets. Herbie: Yeah, dyno d I'm telling you. For some reason I still say it, the goddamn T-Rexes and the Triceratops they just hit different. Charlene: Well and now they have the six seven ones too. What I haven't bought I've only seen They have Shamus: Are you s jump the shark with six seven Herbie: So Charlene: six seven ones now. Damn it. Yep. Yeah. Really? Shamus: That's crazy. Well, I you're not the only person that kinda goes through we were talking before the pod kicked off and Herbie's kinda going through that too, where it's just like, you know, wake up in the morning, go to work, you come home, you, you know, get a shower, you eat, dah dah da, then you lay up because you're so exhausted from that day that you put your clothes back out, you go to sleep, and then it's same thing all over again. And the same thing when I when I was with the state and law enforcement, it was the same shit every day. Because when you were corrections, it's it's a routine. Every day is the same goddamn your sleep. Herbie: like autopilot. And Charlene: Yeah. Herbie: sometimes it's like it's not not just like physically exhausting. It's like you know like mentally spiritually Charlene: It's both. Herbie: exhausting. Shamus: Well, I mean, there I guess there are times where that day could be different depending on how your daughter's acting or Charlene: And you guys know me and she's so me. So it's like I'm fighting with myself. I that's Shamus: Why? Charlene: like mirror and I'm just like, my god. Herbie: If that man, like when you guys have like a like a little beef with each other, man, you can like a dance off. Charlene: I mean that and it's like I put her in timeout and she goes, no, you can go in timeout and then we're like both in timeout and I'm like, I kinda wanna be in timeout. Right? Like I love my kid, but like wait like we can be Shamus: Me no favorites. Charlene: right. Like don't p you know Herbie: I'm not gonna eat these dino nuggets. Charlene: Don't threaten me with a good time. Yeah. Herbie: Yeah. Charlene: I'll sit in the co I'll even sit in the corner, stand and turn around. Herbie: Better idea. You sit there and I'll be in the backyard having a cigarette listen to some my mommy's Charlene: Right. Herbie: timeout. Shamus: Well how is she handling everything since Charlene: So in the beginning when Shamus: She's only I don't wanna put her age out there, we're not gonna do that. but she's on the younger end of it. So Herbie: Yeah. Charlene: Yes. Mm-hmm. she's resilient. I mean she really is. She is like my rock. I mean she gets me through it too. Like we both get each other through it in our own ways. but she's resilient and she really just bounced back. And now that with it just being her and I, it's like if I do go in another room, mommy, where are you? Mommy, you know, 'cause it's we're like best friends. And we're kind of getting through it together and You know, she's my little minnie me. Herbie: Yeah. She is. She really is. Shamus: Yeah. no doubt. She showed me a picture of her wearing like all kinds of weird I was just Charlene: my god. Well and then like as a mom, like when I wasn't a mom and I see these kids and I'm like, my God, like mom could have done a little bit better with your outfit, right? Like and then my daughter's like, you know, plaid shirt, stretch, you know, whatever pants, a dress underneath of it, bikini top, and like high heels. And I'm like, we are not leaving the house. I don't care if we're just going to get the mail. Like Herbie: The accessories. Charlene: But then you're just like, as a mom, you're like, get in the car. I don't even give a shit. Like we're going. It's we're not fighting about this. Shamus: Yeah, I worked one of the buildings I worked was in elementary school. And when parent drop off or the buses, like I'd work buses or sometimes parent drop off, depending on what side was, you know, sometimes the buses were late, so I could do both. You should see some of the stuff these and I and I'm I'm hysterical because the mom will walk around and open the door, that kid gets out, they just look at me. I'm hysterical. They at me and they're like, I don't give a shit. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: I tried arguing with her and I was like, you don't have to explain nothing to me. Charlene: Yeah. So I let her get away with it like on the weekends. I mean, if we were going somewhere like you know, we're changing the outfit. When school happens, like mommy's gonna, you know, help you. We gotta coordinate. Yeah, we're not no. But yeah, we actually just went through her clothes yesterday. Yeah. For school with Herbie: Like her favorite stuff that she likes to wear. Like what's like her favorite, like her normal like favorite ensemble? yeah. Charlene: Heels. God bless her. Like and she like tippy toe, you know, dances with them and you know, does her thing and and again she's like an outdoors person. If she wanted to live outside, if I allowed her to live outside, she would live outside. She's like She Herbie: Agree to be a feral kid. Charlene: is, she is. Like she comes in, her feet are dirty 'cause she's just like, you know, running the streets, checking the mailbox, you know, playing with her friends outside. I'm like, get shoes on. Like, you know, no. Herbie: And she does have a big backyard listener, so it's not like she knows she's like running rampant through the like the neighborhood like Charlene: Yeah, I'm not like opening up my door like, okay. Right, Shamus: Yeah, and it's not the eighties anymore. Charlene: when the street light comes on, come back home for dinner. Like, no. Herbie: running around like a T Rex trying to like harass all the neighborhood cats. Charlene: Tasting. Shamus: Well let ask you this, what are some of the things that you guys like to do together? like I I know we talked before the podcast about you know, going to the movies or ice cream and stuff like that, or you know, I offered you guys my pool next summer 'cause nobody's been in it all year. Herbie: I've sat next to it though. Charlene: so yeah, we do that. Saturdays are a dollar general run, whatever that looks like. She gets a toy, we hang out, we cook dinner every night together. Music is our big thing. if anyone is friends with me on Facebook and has seen me post like her dancing and her singing, and I've really w I Herbie: Again submit. Charlene: she's just like, so that's our th and that was always our thing. Even with my husband, we would, you know, that would be our thing. We're listening to music, we're cooking dinner, we're hanging out, we're having fun, you know, we watch movies, you know, play games. Herbie: It's a good family household. We talk we talked about stuff like that before, like with music and stuff like that. There's a lot of families that always have music on 'cause it just kinda keeps like the whole cozy home fun vibe type thing going on at that. Charlene: And I think for me, like growing up, it was like you watched the news, you couldn't talk at dinner, you know. You cleaned up dinner, and then it was what was Jeopardy was first, Wheel of Fortune. You know what I mean? So like you were mute at dinner, you couldn't talk. And listen I had a an amazing childhood. But like now that I am a mom, I'm like, put the music on eighty girl. Like let's go. And every room. Put all the TVs on, all the music, we can have our own little dance party, you know, whatever. Yeah. Herbie: Like this one goes up to eleven. Shamus: Well you guys know I'm single. I live by myself. When you walked in the Phillies are on and that speaker was going and the music was going. So yeah, I always have to have some kind of music going on in the house or anything like that. Herbie: Just kidd I don't know, it just it just sends out like a good vibe when you have Charlene: Especially the better mood. Yeah. You know, if you have like a crappy day or you know. Herbie: like when you're going through your routines and stuff like you're running around you're like you're cleaning the house you're cooking food you're doing the getting the wah wah mac and cheese run you're doing like the dollar general don't sleep on the dollar general people because that place is awesome I know which one you're talking about I fucking love that place too Shamus: There's one right around the corner here, dude. It is the cleanest and nicest dollar. Herbie: I ever Charlene: When it opened up and I went there, I was like, I could literally eat my breakfast off of the floor. It's so Shamus: It's still like that. Clown. It's like the buckies of Dollar Trees up here, man. Literally like a mile from Herbie: Really? I went to the one in like Lumberton when it first opened I was so sucked 'cause they had these huge beer pint glasses, like the big ones. I was so h Shamus: Yeah, I got all up here. And they don't like all the fingerprints and shit on it. Like it's it's Charlene: Nothing's out of place though. No. Like you know, not everything is Herbie: Yeah. Jesus. Shamus: We'll have to go check it out. Herbie: So yeah, I'm cheese. I'm come out with whole bunch of shit I don't need. Charlene: One twenty five. Shamus: Well you were saying music is something that's gotten you through all the hardships Is there any particular artist or Charlene: Any Herbie: Any? Charlene: I don't want to talk about the bad music I listen to. It's not age appropriate for my daughter. But you know bad music. Yeah. Herbie: The hotel. Shamus: I'll tell you what, you could say the one I was look 'cause when I looked at your notes I was like Herbie: Serious? Like, yeah. I was like, I can't believe Charlene: I don't know how to say it. I'll spell it. W A P So all the viewers will either Google it or you know, then they'll know. Shamus: And if you're over 40 and you're easily offended, don't Google it. Herbie: Don't listen to that song around like a a bunch of people, man. It's like it's just a little single party type song. Shamus: Is it just any kind of music or 'cause to me music sets a move. Charlene: Yeah. Any kind of music. I don't like I don't listen to jazz. But you know, country. No. That would be fun though. That would be cool. I could yeah. Shamus: But like for me, I woke up this morning and I have a Sunday morning playlist. yeah? Hit that and just Yeah, let it rip. It's kinda like yacht rock with a little bit of the butt like she said, man, music to me is you can hear a song and it'll instantly take me back to a seventh grade dance. Yes. And I'm dancing with this girl, I remember dan and you're just like, Wow, or it it's an amazing thing. Yeah. You can be in a shitty mood and you know, Katrina and the waves walking on sunshine comes on and you're like you know Charlene: Or if you're in a bad mood and you're like, I want to put tool on right now. I want your God's part right now. I wanna you know Shamus: When I go to the gym I listen to metal. You know what I mean? Like it's Yeah. So Well besides that song, is there anything else? Any other artists or like you said, no jazz, no polka. Do you have like a favorite band or? Charlene: like a favorite band. I don't even have like a I mean literally every yeah like country music is country's really big in our house. you know I'm not as Swifty, my daughter is so I tolerate that as much as I can. They all are you know but yeah no like specific you know of course like dance hall little reggae Shamus: Okay. Charlene: you know little Stevie Stevie B Herbie: Yeah, it's a freestyle baby. Come on now. That's Shamus: That takes me back to my roller skill. Charlene: Yeah, man. Herbie: the one thing I love about like when you were like we're all like the same type of music. And like sometimes there'll be a song that pops on that we haven't heard in a while and it just fucking is the bomb like Shamus: Yes. Well about twenty years ago when we were all hanging out, you guys were all into that that who was the Spice Girl? Herbie: No, ni siquiera. Charlene: I said he looked! Shamus: Yeah, you guys you guys would break out the glow sticks in the basement. Herbie: Goddamn dance, me and Byron had a dance, bro. Shamus: Gark would come out of nowhere with all these clothes sticks and I was just like, What the f- Herbie: That's right, yeah, remember like the re yeah, the the glue dude, dude. So when I found out that freaking what was it, the silly string stuff is flammable. Forgot about that yeah Charlene: yeah. Remember where were we? Were we in the basement? Herbie: Probably. Charlene: I make everything and one like opened up. Were we at the basement? Did somebody like bite Shamus: No idea. Charlene: one? They're like, I can't get it. Right? Herbie: I think Gork or shot. Charlene: And it like exploded and like you know, you open up your mouth and you thing's neon. Herbie: Like another thing too. I used to buy some of the fucking glow sticks either at Walmart or at like Dollar General and stuff. So you get like a fuck ton of them. And then sometimes you get one that just craps out. You know, like you just crack it and nothing happens. Like, son of a bitch, and those are the ones we experimented with. Charlene: Yeah. Herbie: But there was always like shoelaces and like like freaking what is it, shoelaces and glow sticks. And just like a little rave show was freaking awesome. You and Chris Shamus: They were called. The your guy's little rave show. I'd be over the corner like what Herbie: Hell yeah. Charlene: All the lights are off, all you see is the glow sticks. Give each other distance so you don't smack each other in the face. Herbie: Melanie C I hated the Spice Girls, but Melanie C's I Turn to You was our sh Charlene: There was another Madonna. What was the Madonna song that we s Shamus: Ray of light? Herbie: No shit now. Was it Madonna song? No. Shamus: Yeah, I think it like ray of light or something like that. Herbie: Is that the one like the video where she's like wearing like that pink pink outfit? Every Charlene: Yeah. Shamus: Keep talking. Herbie: little thing that you say you want to do, I'm caught up. It Shamus: Yeah, man. Herbie: was like, yeah, that was a lot of that everyone misses the basement too, man. That was just a great time. And we've talked about that before. We're like, my god, remember all the times we've been in the basement just getting hammered drinking yinglings and stuff and raving and just doing dumb shit. Charlene: No shower Sundays. Yeah. Shamus: Yeah. Herbie: That was those, yeah. That was another thing when like the parties would last all frickin' weekend, man. Charlene: Wake well w we didn't go to bed until what, like five, six in the morning? Shamus: But there was times we'd be like Big Charlene: Or we didn't go to bed for the whole weekend. Shamus: Rose weekend, we'd be up for five days. It was like a Motley Crew video. Charlene: Yeah. Herbie: Yeah. Birds are chirping. The birds are like, You guys are still up? Shamus: I said you read some of these rock stars memoirs and like Rotobagger's like I was on a bender for four days, somebody Herbie: Yeah, sounds about right. Charlene: But like only four days? Herbie: I was like what sounds like our Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Fucking right. Then we had the weekend. Charlene: Well 'cause th there was banned practice. Yep. Right? There was a day for everything. Shamus: Yeah. We had South Check for like four bands there. Herbie: Like now calendars have like it's National Muffin Day. And like what is that shit, man? Like who really I would love to have that job be like that guy to coordinate like the calendar stuff, like it's National Muffin Day or Hug a Friend Day. Like, Jesus Christ, are you even trying? But we freaking party our asses off. It was great. Our Shamus: No doubt, no doubt. Herbie: bodies are recovering from it still. Shamus: You're still smoking too, aren't you? Like cigarettes. Charlene: Yeah. Yeah. Herbie: Okay. Charlene: You were specific, but yes. Herbie: She's like, this can go either way, man. Shamus: 'Cause there was times in that basement I was like, We're all gonna be dead of cancer in like two years 'cause that smoke level Herbie: That fan that fan just did not work, man. Had to open up the back bill code doors and actually get some Charlene: I think I'm the only one that does. Yeah. In our group. Actually. Herbie: Yeah. Charlene: Right? Yeah. I'm the only loser that still smokes. That's great. Shamus: Well, I mean, you got a lot of stress you're dealing with and stuff. I Charlene: Yeah. Shamus: mean, so it's still a dying excuse though. Charlene: It's not. Shamus: So Charlene: One day. Well, and I also don't want to be like, Deanna, can you go get mommy cigarettes like at some point, right? Like the voice. Not like when we were kids, like bring me a Bud Light out of the cooler, you know, Uncle Whoever, or, you know. And you just did it. Shamus: reason why I laugh is because I I'm at that age my dad like here's here's ten bu it was ten bucks back then. Yeah here's ten bucks. Go around the corner to the liquor store, get me a case of Miller High Life ponies and a pack of Cavalkon filters. And like you're ten years old. You walk in there like this for your dad you're like Yeah okay. Yeah and you put it in your little newspaper basket on your bike and you wrote it up you're passing cops at ten years old with a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes. It's like hey what's up? I don't Herbie: freaking getting a note from my mom going to the freaking deli and stuff like that like a pack of Winston's you know Herbie's this is Herbie you know Herbie's mom Carmen just need a pack of cigarettes and everybody's yeah here you go Charlene: I remember trying buy my first pack of cigarettes at like 15. And so where I lived growing up, there was a plaza behind me. that's right, yeah. You know, little convenience store in there. They know my family. They know that I'm not, you know, whatever. And I'd go in and, you know, put some makeup on, because I guess that was K. That's how you're gonna get cigarettes if you put a little blush on. yeah. And then they would turn me down, then they would tell my mom, you know. Herbie: That's cool. Well you you just need a mom note. That's it, man. Back in the day it like even s like you sometimes you would get pinned a damn a note to your frickin' sheriff. Charlene: But my mom wasn't a smoker. My dad is. Herbie: Yeah, I think so. Hung up, yeah. Up at Madani. Charlene: Hung on. Yeah. Shamus: Yeah, she's in like all purple. Yeah. Or pink. Herbie: That's another like everyone's probably like the listeners probably like it's this song like you guys weren't there though, but if you guys have like listeners any type of like when you guys were doing back in your day when you were younger, having drinking beers and playing little raves and stuff like that, what was the music that you listened to? Like what was what was like your jams that you guys listened to? So just like let us know. Charlene: Even being like part of the bands. Yeah. Like when Bobby would go and play and you would you know, we're eighteen years old, we're not we're not drinking, but we're carrying in a a drum, you know, stick or a s you know a speaker and we're in, we're sitting. I'm like, made it We're sitting at the bar. Herbie: Good. Charlene: I remember when I turned twenty one, I was already at the bar behind my house. And then I turned twenty one and had my twenty first birthday party there. They're like, wait a minute, you've been coming here for like two years and I like, joke's on you. I you know. Shamus: Same thing happened to me in Riverside. I went to what the hell? It was Brannigan. No, it wasn't Brannigan. It was Yeah, it was Brownigan. It was called something else. it was the woodshed. I'd been in there for like four or five years. I left for the military. I came home for my birthday and I walked in and the band LeComte was playing here. My uncle did their artwork and stuff for their albums. So I knew Mike LeComte. So he was like, Hey, what's up, buddy? I'm like, Yeah, what's going on? And one of my buddies yo, it's his birthday. And he was like, How old are you? I'm like twenty-one. And he was like, All right, so he gets up on stage and he was like, Hey, real quick, before we get this shit started, it's my boy Savus' 21st birthday, so make sure you guys are buying them shots, getting low. I looked over at the owner and like, Are you fucking kidding me? And I was like Herbie: B Shamus: Mike's like, What do you mean? He was like, This kid's been drinking here for fucking seven years. Charlene: Can't throw me out now. Herbie: See at least you paid money though, man. So it's not like you know you paid your way, so you're good to go. Shamus: Well in that town there was a bar on every corner because it was in the Guinness World book of records for most liquor licenses in a town. Herbie: Jesus. Shamus: Like every other corner was a bar, so nobody carved it. We used to cup lunch and go like freshman year, sophomore year. Right. Go to this place called the poor house. It was five bucks for a corned beef special, a bag of chips and a fucking pint. Herbie: I gotta bring that shit back. Charlene: Was that Derby's? Derby's still open? No. Shamus: Yeah. I don't I don't know if it is or not. I haven't been back in that town in a while. But yeah, that was another place. Good wings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there was bars all over that place. Herbie: man. Shamus: So Well getting back to what we were talking about. How are things going now? Charlene: things are better. You know, like I said, we're coming up on a year. so just getting through all of like the first, you know, the first birthday, the holidays were I didn't know if I was gonna get it, you know, through it, but I did. And you know, the birthday just passed last month. now we're coming up on a year of the anniversary. so even just like different things as far as like what What do you do during that year? Like when is it a good time to when do you go through the close? When do you start like that part of the process? someone once told me, wait a year. Don't do anything, don't touch anything, don't move anything, don't rearrange anything. I didn't listen and I did it on my own terms though. It wasn't like three weeks later and I was like, Okay, yeah, everything's gotta go. But then I got thinking as and even as far as like his clothes and stuff, like I kept some things for like my daughter and you know, but again, and I don't want this to sound like horrible, but it's just sitting there. And I feel like if I could help somebody else out and donate it, I didn't drop it off at like the CVS little dropbox. I did bring it to my work and there's families in need that need, you know, clothes and shoes. And so I I did, you know, donate and it just starts helping. Heal a little bit more. No, no doubt. You know. Herbie: Kinda helps with closure and stuff too, you what I mean? Like you gotta actually like that's that aspect is unfortunately done but you gotta keep moving on. Charlene: Well then, you know, I see my daughter go in the back room and daddy's clothes are still hanging up and or coming in my room and opening up a drawer and there's this and then it kinda brought things back to her and then the questions are, you know, asked and of course answered. And so not that I was trying to and I'm not erasing him at all out of her you know, we talk about him all the time. Shamus: Pictures of four around the house. Charlene: And we have the pictures still around the house and you know, all of that. And she has some in her room that were in the living room. She has to be brought to her bedroom. you know, so it's just and it's really what makes you feel like comfortable in that yeah, you know, in that stage. No one was forcing me to do it. No one was like, Okay, things gotta go now. We're, you know. but it was easier for me and my daughter just to kind of be like, okay, let's make like her playroom now. Like the back room, you know, where he was, unfortunately, before, you know, he passed. and then she gets excited now to go in that back room. Like listen, she wouldn't go in that room for months after you know, him passing and all of like his pictures and stuff from the service were in that room. And I tried to make it her playroom and then she didn't want any parts of that room, you know. So sort of taking a couple pictures down just to make it more comfortable, you know, for her wanting to be Back there. So Herbie: See the good thing though is that like sure you went at your own pace and your daughter's pace. You know what I mean? So it's not like 'cause there's some people that actually will like, you know, just get rid of everything right away and just wanna move or just like do all that crap, but like it's good that you guys did it at your own pace. No one can really tell you when you should do it. It's like when you guys Shamus: Well was just gonna say if like your friend said wait a year, what would your advice be to people listening that if they just lost someone, like should they wait a year or would you just say go at your own pace or Charlene: It's literally go at your own pace. And then and even when I did donate, I was like, did I forget to like where's that one hoodie that, you know, and then I'm like, I did keep it. I did, you know. And then I did have like a little bit of a regret. Like, did I do it too soon? Yeah. If I, you know, but no, really, it's like it's your now new life. It's your new journey. And you really just have to take it in my experience literally day by day. Whatever that looks like for you, you know, if you're in it and you're crying, which, you know, I don't know how many more tears I have left, go through it. Like literally put yourself in it, go through it, cry it out, you know, go outside, again, listen to music, do what whatever makes you get through it, but go through it though. Like don't, you know, if you want to lay in bed all day and sleep and, you know, of course I'm waking, I'm I'm not saying that I'm doing that, but whatever you are feeling in that moment, you gotta just, you know, do it. Do what Herbie: Yeah. Charlene: you know, but yeah, go through it and then go through it. Don't sit in it. Yeah. You know, and that's hard to say to some, you know, for me in the beginning it was like, Where do I go? And then I took my own leave just to kind of like, you know, figure out my future with my daughter. Yeah, you know, what that's gonna look like for us. But yeah, my best advice is just if you're in it, go through it, but just go go all the way through it. And then get back up and you Shamus: you gotta keep moving forward. Charlene: I even when my mom passed away, that was my motto. Keep it moving. You have to keep it moving. And then now have and I didn't have a daughter, you know, back then. And now that I do and I wake up and I'm like, Y keep it moving. You Herbie: That's it. Charlene: have to Shamus: It's like I said, I I d I think I met your husband one time, but it was kinda like, Hey, I don't blah dah da But I'm sure and just like my mom and I did know your mom, they would all tell you, Keep moving forward, don't stop, you know. Life ki and my mom told me that. She was like, Don't ever she's like, Don't forget me, but don't you know what's the word I'm looking for? Charlene: Not dwell. Yes. Right? Like, again because they wouldn't yeah. They wouldn't want you to Herbie: Yeah, 'cause it's like you're holding yourself back. It's like you're really detracting from like your own future and stuff by just sitting in that one stagnant you're like basically staying stagnant, you know. Charlene: And you can it's not healthy. But Yeah. You know, you gotta walk you gotta Herbie: I like Charlene: get up. Shamus: Just like you, in in like a 10 year span, I lost my best friend. Mike passed away. And then right after that, my dog died. Yeah. And then my father died. Yeah. And then my mom went. And I think she knew, so she was just like, Yo, don't don't stop. Keep moving forward. You got a lot of shit going on, man, but you know, and she knew. She's like, You're a tough kid, dude. You'll get through it, but just don't stop. So and like I said, you kind of had that same run for a minute. Charlene: I I yeah. I mean my mom, then four months after my mom, our family dog died. you know, moved out, then moved back to South you know, back to where I live now. And, you know, then my husband gets sick again and you know, we're married for two years. And then we grew up together, so I've known him my whole life. only married for two years, you know, having a daughter, you know. She didn't get enough time with him. I didn't get enough time with him. Shamus: you never get enough time. Charlene: You never get enough time, yeah. But so with all of that being said, like we know how life is so short. So, you know, don't take it for granted. Don't you know. Shamus: No, that's that is one thing as I get older. Yeah. I think I was talking to somebody the other day and I like, I only got like twenty-five, you know, I'm I the average human being lives to be seventy-five years old. So, you know, I'm like, I got like twenty-five and a half years left according to the census. I mean, like I gotta get my shit. Like I'm not dwelling on this stuff. If I don't get this job, I don't give a shit. I'm retired anyway. So Herbie: I gotta cut off too. After 25 years, I'm doing crystal meth, man. Like, fuck Charlene: I you it's to know a guy. Herbie: I'm like, what am I gonna miss, dude? You know? Like shitting on myself and like went and wearing depends and stuff, not knowing where the hell I am. I just want to be completely with it. And I'm gonna start doing crazy ass drugs and steal shit. Shamus: That makes me feel better. Because like we talked before the pod about that dude and I was just like, Man, that guy I don't know. But then when you told me I like, Man, I'm a pretty good judge of character. I hit that right on the head. Charlene: And when you're like in it and you're what you know, you don't see it. You're like, my god, this is the best, whatever. And you're like, God damn, Shay, you were right. Why Herbie: You're like, what was like dang. Charlene: didn't you text me and let me know? Shamus: So don't feel bad. You're not the only person that walked through that gate and I was just like, Who the hell is she went? I was like, this dude's Herbie: But you your husband was definitely not that one. We're like, yo, what the hell is she doing with that one? We're talk we're we're specifically talking about the one before your husband. Shamus: So Yeah, her husband was a good dude. Yeah. So I'll Herbie: So it's Shamus: tell you what, I know because he knew a lot of I don't know how he knew some people in Delanka. Charlene: He knew everybody in every county and probably almost every state, but he played softball. Yeah. So he traveled and he knew, you know, a ton, a ton of people. Shamus: Because when you tagged me when you won the kayak at his benefit, I guess you tagged me in it and buddy of mine from Delanco was like, Dude, I was gonna go to that how do you know that dude? Yeah. I was like, He's with he's married to Charlene. He was like, Holy shit, I didn't even know that Yeah. Charlene: yeah. Shamus: Yeah, it was pretty crazy. Herbie: So I did I named yeah and of course, you named you know my kayak after him, just in his honor. Charlene: Thank you. Shamus: Yeah. So are you dating yet? I know well I know you all. You're trying. I know we talked about it before the part. This is the part I've been waiting to talk about because listen, sister, it doesn't matter if you're a single mom or not. All going through it. Herbie: Yeah, this we're all the whole goddamn Charlene: Yeah. I think with dating after losing your husband or wife or you know, it's you're looked at on like a different you know, if you date too soon, you're you never loved my you know, whatever. but again I'm a little bit older now and I have a daughter and at our age not a lot of people wanna have to raise or help raise, you know, so it is, you know, challenging. And then sometimes I'm like, I don't even Yeah. Like I'm good. Like I Herbie: Another yeah, another Charlene: would love, you know, to come home and watch a show with somebody and, you know, do whatever, but then sometimes I'm like Herbie: Yeah, sometimes you want that companionship and sometimes you're like just get the fuck away from me. I want my Wa Why Mac Charlene: I want my teams and my WAP and I don't want you around. Herbie: Well, drink some drink a couple of beers and ch dance to Cardi B. That's it. Charlene: And like I don't you know, I don't go to the bars. I'm at a bar, you know, we don't do that anymore. We hang out at the house, so I'm not swiping left or right. I'm not, you know, on dating apps and you know. Herbie: Yeah, because that's a whole new universe. Charlene: I would be a f like I would be scared to date. Shamus: Worthless dude. That Herbie: It is Shamus: is that that whole industry is just absolutely worthless. Charlene: Yeah. But thank God now we have like share my location, you know, find your friend. yeah. Because it's scary out there. Yeah. Shamus: yeah. I like even dudes. I'm like, yo, let me know where you're going to. Like let me know you're right. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm like, yo. Charlene: You don't know. I don't Shamus: Listen, it's a true story, and I'm not gonna mention any names, but a buddy of mine did the it was like match.com or one of them bullshit thing. Met this chick, she's like, Let's get a room and ended up like they're in the this hotel room and two guys came in, roughed him up, handcuffed him, stripped him naked and took all his money and left. Herbie: God damn. That's Charlene: my god, ich Shamus: I'm like, see I told you bro Herbie: In actuality got completely fucked. Fox Shamus: Exactly. So But yeah, even though it was I I I tried that in my ear younger years and I was just like, Man, this shit is I I don't know what's wrong with society anymore. Like and nobody seemed to want to like like everybody just wants results now. Like after like two or three days like, Okay, well, you know, let's get married. Charlene: like a label a label on it like immediately. Like I just finished my dinner and we're getting in the car. Date one and you're like Herbie: Where do you see this going? What? I just swiped left like two hours ago. Exactly. Like what the f- Shamus: I'm sorry, what's your name again? Charlene: Right. Herbie: But like how do you feel about dancing in a Cardi B? It gotta have something in common too. It's Charlene: Don't like her, get out. Yeah. Right? Herbie: like you can't dance, move on. Keep it pushing. Shamus: So yeah, I just don't so don't feel bad. It's not just single moms or any of that stuff. Because another problem I have is okay, he's retired, he's got a house, he's you know, pension, this guy's not right and d and then you just throw them like I'm like get away from Charlene: me they want you to like take care of Yeah, and I'm not raising like a grown ass man. Right? Like it's I I and I feel like Right. Where do you live? Don't worry about it. Yeah. You do you rent? Do you own? Do you I was actually on TikTok and you see these people like message you and you think they're real people. So you're like, we don't have anyone in common. We don't have any friends. Let me click on it. And they're like, Good morning, where do you live? What's your address? Can I borrow fifty bucks? And I'm like, Herbie: Wow. Charlene: what is going on right now? Where do you live? I live in the UK. I don't understand the it's just it's so crazy and so scary and so Herbie: Yeah, you can put yourself and I'm I'm the sh and that's another reason why I can't do like that dating stuff, because you guys know I'm like the biggest doofus when it comes to technology anyway, so I don't even know how to like install the damn, you know, dating apps. I mean I just learned how to share like reels and stuff on Instagram. That's why I'm bombarding all my friends with it. Shamus: Well to be honest with you, it it's even like like I'll be sitting at a bar if I'm out doing something and if a young lady sits down next to me or you know, whatever, and she's Hey, how are you? I'm like, Hey, how are you? My name's Seamus, what do you do for a living? I'm like, Fucking beat it. Yes. that's the second question you're like, hey, what's your name? Seamus. What do you do for a living? Are you serious? Is this a job interview Get out. I always tell him I'm in I'm in, you know, sanitation engineer. Like what's that? I'm like the dude that drives on the back of the trash truck and throws his shit in the back and they're like, I'll see you later. Yeah. I bet you will. Herbie: Thank you. Mike, sorry I can't help you out there, homeless lady. Charlene: And you're right. Everyone is helping. Like everyone's like looking for like a handout. Like I don't want to be your mom. Yeah. Like I Herbie: Do you have a house? Do you have a car? Do you have a driver's license? I'm like I didn't realize that this was like requirements in dating anymore. Man, back in the day it like have you so what do you like? What do you like to eat? What kind of movies you like? What do you like to do? Now it's like, can you support me? I'm living in the woods. Shamus: I don't know about the female side of the ball, so I'm gonna ask her, like, if you've ever been on a dating site and if you looked, like have you have you one thing I noticed it's teachers, lawyers, and librarians are there Nobody wants to date these people, I guess, because that is the only thing on the female side of the ball on like Facebook dating or match and I'm just like how the do like all these female lawyers, female teachers and librarians. No I'm like man, that must be a lonely ass. Herbie: Well actually you forgot another job too. It's a food service worker. Charlene: Ha ha ha! Shamus: That's dude. I mean like if she was looking, it's probably like Dennis, the food service and law enforcement. Herbie: Yeah. Like Jesus Christ. Charlene: Well and it's like all like the catfishing. Yeah. Like is is that really your picture? yeah, right. And then you're like, okay, let's go have a coffee D and you're like, who the f like this isn't who you sent me? And they're command Herbie: Do you look like a Charlene: and they see you. So they know it's you, but you don't know it's not them. And then you're like Shamus: Listen, I know immediately because when they sent the picture, I'm like, there is no way this chick is fucking sending me a message on my big ass. Herbie: Next. Exactly. Shamus: Liar! Like Brooks like somebody sent a picture of Brooke Shields or Slaw. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: Like this is me, babe. Like what? But yeah, yeah, be careful and I'm dating after. Charlene: I'm not on any of I'm not. Yeah. And like, I mean I don't even go and I love grocery shopping, but taking a toddler with you grocery shopping is like buying the whole store. You're going down every aisle. You're going down so I do a lot of my groceries like through Instacart. I'm dropped off. So like the only other like interaction besides like coworkers and people is like the guy that's dropping off my groceries. 'Cause I'm not on a dating site, I'm not going to the bar, I'm not, you know. Shamus: Does that work for I was gonna say that's a weird dynamic because I could take her daughter shopping and use her to pick up a you what I mean? Does that work for girls too? Like if you had your daughter would a dude walk up and be like, shit Charlene: fuck no. 'Cause they're like, Where's Dad? That's on the picture and they're like, yeah. You know? Herbie: Some of them might be like, yeah, let slide up in there for a little bit, but yeah, that's about it. We need a bunch Charlene: Yeah, that works for guys. It doesn't work for females. Herbie: of different shit for us to work, man. It's like Jesus Christ. It's hard. Charlene: But you literally you guys could go to, like you said, the grocery store, wherever, and have a little tie you know, little kid with you or a puppy and like swarm. Right? Herbie: Well see the if you really think about too they'll like they'll like the little kid and the puppy and want to pet the puppy and just not like you. It's like we get your number. Charlene: Like, you wanna hang out with your kid and your father? Shamus: Exactly. Herbie: I want your puppy. Like, okay, great. Thanks. Shamus: So sh maybe I should start him a his own site, you know. Get him an account on Facebook dating. Herbie: I'm like, my god, I love your kid, your dog. I don't like you. Charlene: That you Shamus: Well, I'm sure just like any other single mom, you probably if you do date, there's rules to it because of your daughter. I'm sure you're not just gonna throw right in the mix of kinds of like Charlene: No, no. There's a lot of a lot of rules. And you have to come with like something, you know, like you can meet my kid as like this is, you know, so and so. You can but like I it would never be like a revolving like, it didn't work out with Joe Schmo, so I'm gonna go and you know, hang out with this one and hang out like my doors always revolving for family and friends, never for like that part. And I honestly would be okay in my own skin knowing that like if I don't ever get with somebody Herbie: A ver. Charlene: Good. I'm good. You know, I'm not worried about like an ex or this or a that or stalking or like now you do know where I live and you are homeless and somehow you made it to my backyard and you're sleeping on my deck. Like I don't you know. Herbie: You took all my Amazon packages and made a Ford in the back. Charlene: Right. Like what you're sleeping on my daughter's slide in the back you know. No. Mm mm. Shamus: That's what the the last girl I dated, we dated for about seven months, seven, eight months. nothing bad to say about it, just didn't work out. I don't know what happened. She never told me. She just dumped me on text one day. She Charlene: What is that? Shamus: dumped me on text after she told me we can't break up on text two months prior, but She had grown-ass kids. She had a daughter who's a senior and her son was twenty-one and she was just like, I'm not ready for you to meet them yet. And I never argued that. I was just like, Okay, it's no big deal, you know. I mean dad was still in the picture. Yeah. So and I was like, that's fine. Yeah. I I never so I totally get it when females do that. Some guys are just like, you never let me meet your family. Dude. Herbie: w yeah, women do that stuff too. Like you haven't met your family. Like, well, you're he's not really that serious. Do you Shamus: I love it when they Herbie: really want to meet my family? You're fucking nuts. Charlene: I'm I'm helping you. Shamus: I do the lethal I Herbie: Well if you want to hang out for a little bit. Shamus: do the lethal leopathing when they're gonna jump off the building. They're like, Do you wanna? And Herbie: Do you really wanna Shamus: the first person I introduced to her is my sister. That's it. If you get past that gate, so you you're b I'll marry you. Herbie: D have you guys ever come across a thing like if you dated someone and you actually have like a cool like like life? Like almost like what the hell is that? I guess like a so like you have a cool social life and then that your significant other that you're kinda seeing for like a little bit, all of a sudden if it doesn't work out, they wanna like assume that life with you type shit. You know, like they wanna hang out with your friends. Like Charlene: my god. Herbie: did you even have a life before we even fucking Shamus: I'll tell you what, it's never I've never dated them, but there was a couple girls I was interested in that we hung out. Yeah and then like if it just kind of fizzled out, we were still friends, but like I I kind of wanted to be more like just never happened. Like there was times I would get a call. I'd be at the job and I'd go out to check my phone to say because my at the time my dad was sick. So they would let you go out and check your cell phone just in case. Like you was rushed to the hospital. And I would check my phone and guys would text like, yo, we up at Like trivia night and like she's with all my buddies because I had inter and she still to this day still hangs out with a bunch of guys from work I you know hung out with with my other friends. They still hang out and stuff. So yeah, I've had never a girl I dated though. Somebody I've I inter my friend T. I'm not gonna mention her full name. She still talks to all my buddies and all that stuff. Herbie: like girl that you mess out with like, you have really great friends, you got a fun life, you like to do a lot of fun things and it doesn't work out too much. And the next thing you know she's like, well I'm kind of bored. I really have love you know, you're like, What about you? Do you have any friends? No, not really. What do you like to do? I don't know. Anything fun. And then they just want to like Charlene: And then they're hanging out with your friends. I'm like, what How does that make you feel? Herbie: Makes me feel weird. I'm like, what are you doing here? Even my friends are like, what the fuck is she doing here? We're just nice to her for you. Charlene: Pretty yeah. Shamus: Listen, tell us about your army. Fr I'm sure they're gonna listen to the podcast. Let's talk about some of the people that are helping you out along the way, all your neighbors, your family. 'Cause Herbie: They're awesome too, dude. Shamus: I know you mentioned that you don't talk to his side of the family anymore, but I'm sure your Charlene: Do Shamus: sister's involved and all your neighbors And so let's give them a shout out. Charlene: Let's hear about So I know I should have wrote all this. So Herbie: Frickin' Charlene: in my neighborhood, next door to me is my cousin Britt and her husband Mike. They're two kids. She watches my daughter when I'm at work. I get remote days, but only four a month. so she is like almost like a second mom, really, to Deanna. They have a special bond. So she lives next door to me. They are freaking amazing. They're actually watching her right now. and then Thanks, guys. Herbie: Thank you. Shamus: Without you Char wouldn't Charlene: She said no curfew. Hang out, mom. so and then in the neighborhood we have Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Karen who are the most Herbie: Yeah. Charlene: I mean you you know, you know Ronnie Karen's high school. And they're just like the best people to like walk the earth. They are amazing. Herbie: people man. Yeah. It's like it kinda rem like her her group of friends kinda reminds like the groups that you know, the group of friends that we definitely long lasting Charlene: When we were younger, yeah. Herbie: too, so it's not like, you know, you hang out for a little bit and it's over. It's this is like this is this is this is this is Charlene: Yeah. Shamus: Right, yeah. Charlene: Yeah. Like you start on Thursday. Yeah. And you know, we'll see you tomorrow. We'll see you Saturday, Sunday, you know. so they're in the neighborhood. We have of course my family who is, you know, freaking amazing. my dad, my brother, my sister, my aunt uncles. That's right. You do have a brother. I have a Yeah. He's the baby. Herbie: It was great to see him when I was at the benefit and stuff too. Shamus: I didn't even recognize her sister. When her sister walked up she was like, Hey Seamus, I'm like She's Charlene: Hello. Shamus: like, You don't recognize me now I like, No, but it was great to see her. I haven't seen her in God. Herbie: Shows you like the type of like even for the benefit that thing was just like it was it was huge dude like what everyone put together to to just like you know for the benefits benefit was like amazing Charlene: And of course my two besties, you know, Danielle, Rochelle. Yeah. And that's what I think you need too. Like if you're going through this. You need like your core people that you know if you're having like a breakdown at midnight and you can call that girl and she's in her car or your brother, your you know, your dad, whatever, and they're pulling up to your house at twelve five. Yeah. Like that you need to surround yourself with the people that, you know Herbie: It's true. Shamus: Sounds like you got you got a good group of like a good support group there. Herbie: don't have that man. Charlene: No. No, and I mean you have some people that like, you know, they grew up in Texas and then they moved, you know, to New Jersey and their significant other passes away and they have no family, no friends, no one to talk to, no one to bounce off of, like I just lost so and so. And how did you go through it? And how did you, you know? Herbie: Even anything to keep busy or anything like that. Like any type of like I would like dare I say distraction to be able to like do like a routine of going somewhere, especially in an area you don't know. Like where do I go? Like where can I actually go to like just relax for a little bit or where can I go to unwind or b I'm just trapped at the house and you're like, you know, it just brings back you like sitting there by yourself lonesome and it's just like it floods back with all these negative memories and stuff. Yeah I mean. But you do you got a great, great group of friends, man. Shamus: So what's your go to? At the end of the day, you got her bathe, homework's done, all that stuff. You put her to bed. Charlene: Okay. Shamus: There's no T V show you watch or anything. Charlene: But I it's like well, I'm watching something right now. I don't know if we can talk about it. Shamus: you can talk about it. We just can't show a clip of Charlene: I'm obsessed right now with the Lindsay Clancy trial. yeah. I even sent my my boss a text the one day and I get to work and I was like, listen, I'm clocked in, but I'm watching this trial. Like don't even don't even ask me to do anything because this is my life Monday through Friday. so yeah, and I watch my stupid like reality shows. Yeah, you know. Herbie: How great is that? Like I'm clocked in for work, but. Charlene: Not f I'm a I'm a juror for this trial. Like I'm juror number like thirty-five. Thousand really because of all the women that are watching this right now. Herbie: I swear to God, like chicks I don't even know are talking to me about this thing. I'm like, why are you telling me about this? I don't Shamus: Somebody I forget who I was talking to the other day and they were just like, Are you watching this? You found this issue that's crazy and I'm just like, I know about it just because every girl I talked to was like, Are you watching? And they they slowly fill me in. Yeah. So now I'm up to speed because Charlie came in today. Dude I'm like stuff. Herbie: I'm like, you've worked here for how long? And you work in the OR? I've never talked to you this whole time. Why are you telling me this stuff? We're in the elevator for like 30 seconds. I'm Charlene: And you know everything. Yeah. Herbie: like, I don't care. I don't even know who you are. I seen your face once three years ago, and we said hi. That was it. That doesn't open up the door to talk about a freaking trial, man. Shamus: Well is there anything else you want to hit on before we start wrapping this up? Charlene: I guess, you know, if anyone reaches out to you guys and they have any kind of questions or, you know, maybe this I'm hoping that this is helping somebody else that's listening. Yeah. You know, if you're kind of in it right now and don't know which way to go, which direction, you know, somebody's gone through it, you know, and you know, I can be here for any kind of guidance or questions or, you know, just a support to support other people that have gone through it. And really might not have even grieved that process yet because you are moving and now you have like a shit moment and you're like, you know, this might have been five years ago, but I'm finally in it now and I don't know how to cope or get out of it and Shamus: Did anybody ever was there any programs or any of that stuff like that or like any kind of hotlines or anything like that? Charlene: So when my husband was on hospice, Samaritan does counseling for a year free. Okay. So I did do that with me and my daughter. And then, you know, she didn't want to go anymore and I didn't force anything on her. Like she played soccer last year when she started school and she didn't finish the season 'cause she's like, my daddy's not here to see me. I don't wanna do it. I'm like, Okay, we're done. I'm not forcing anything. That's good. You know, you're going through your own process and you know. Herbie: And she's still an active girl, so so it's not like she's like, I'm done and not doing anything. Charlene: And if I can have like a very, like, very, very proud mommy moment. It was her first year in school last year, and she did not miss one single day. Yeah. Herbie: Nice. Shamus: Yeah. Charlene: And that was like a she was so excited to get on the bus. She was so excited to tell me about her day, which was what did you do today? I don't know. That's you know, like he'd answer. And I'm like, okay. But I was so proud of the fact that she, you know, didn't miss a day. One day. my husband passed on a Thursday. I didn't tell her until Friday after school because I was like, get your you know, self through. And that Monday going back to school, she had like a little bit of a like she was sad. The teacher called me, like she's just a little sad. The school had already known that he had passed away. But that was it. She never, you know, wanted to stay home and be like she just she made friends now. This was now her nor her new normal. Yeah. And I wanted to make everyday life for her, you know, work Even though I took a leave just to kinda comp you know, s figure out what's going on. And she was just like, No, I wanna go to school, I wanna see my teachers, I wanna see and her teacher was pregnant. So that was like she loved that. Herbie: friends too 'cause she's she's she she's a nice girl so she's like the type of girl that actually would have like a bunch of friends. She's Charlene: She yeah, she does. Herbie: got she's got she's got a she's got a homegirl squad. Charlene: Mm-hmm. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: Well, she's little Charlene. Charlene Charlene has he always had a bunch of friends. Herbie: Yeah. Charlene: There's so many. Shamus: Alright, I guess we can wrap this one up then. Wanna give a shout out to anybody else? Charlene: I'm thinking I hope I didn't miss anyone. My grandmom. She was a big support for me. Yeah. You know. 'cause we would do like little like Boscov runs. Herbie: Don't sleep on Boscows, man. Charlene: Boscov's is like the best store ever. Herbie: And we're like, we're getting ready check out that goddamn dollar store too. Charlene: And then you get free fudge. Herbie: d what? Boscovs? Where? Boscogs? Free? Charlene: Yeah. They had like samples. More sound. More sample. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Shamus: Really? We gotta hit it? Yeah. Herbie: When the f really? Charlene: Mm-hmm. Upstairs. Herbie: Shit. I didn't know. When they start doing that. Really? Charlene: They've always done that. Herbie: God damn it. Shamus: Dou Dollar Tree and then the Charlene: Well, Herbie: the bottom, you know, because it's like, you know, like the football stuff, the dude stuff, furniture stuff, any type of sports stuff. I really go upstairs because I don't think there's like video games or nothing, but damn it. Shamus: Nice. Yeah. Charlene: Mm-hmm. Shamus: All right, we're gonna get up out of here. Remember to like, rate, and subscribe on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Also, make sure you're telling your friends about us. This thing is really gaining momentum and there's always room in our party. It's never big enough. So also if you have an idea for a show, want to express your thoughts, have any questions for Charlene or opinions. Direct it at us. Drop us a line at our mailbag at teamportroll25 at gmail.com. Any last words, Miss Charlene? Charlene: no, that just you know, thank you guys for allowing me to be on here and maybe I can reach out to somebody and just getting it off your chest. Like I talk advent to my friends and family and you know, just a d a different platform. Shamus: Well thanks for coming by. Thanks for and thanks the I who's your neighbors again? Charlene: Brett and Mike. Shamus: Thank you for babysitting. Yes we appreciate it. Herb, you got anything? Herbie: Man, just thanks for listening, everybody, and hopefully this helps like not just Sharp but also other people. Shamus: Every member, control the pet population. Get your pet spayed or neutered. Take care of yourself, your community, and each other. Say goodnight, Herb. Good night. Herbie: Good night.