Latest / Pseudonyms / 055: Boob Tape

Transcript

055: Boob Tape · Pseudonyms

• 0:00
  Speaker A: So I'm feeling pretty sketchy because I am on the street. I'm not like in my driveway or like in front of the house. I'm like down a street where, like, there are no houses. So we'll see how long it takes for a cop to roll up on me because I'm pretty sure that'll happen at some point. But yeah, no, I just. My wife has nowhere to hang out if I kick her out of the room.
• 0:28
  Speaker B: Her problem, bro, it is.
• 0:31
  Speaker A: But I'm a good enough guy to say there's actually benefits to doing it in the car. Dude, I'm soundproof. I don't have to keep my. My voice down because of people down the hall or anything. I'm going to say what the fuck I want tonight.
• 0:48
  Speaker B: I thought.
• 0:51
  Speaker A: I thought this was funny. Tell me what you think of this. So I came across these text messages and we're just gonna say person one and person two. Okay.
• 1:03
  Speaker B: You are one of those people.
• 1:04
  Speaker A: Yeah. What?
• 1:06
  Speaker B: You are one of those people though, right?
• 1:10
  Speaker A: Not necessarily.
• 1:11
  Speaker B: This wasn't on your phone.
• 1:15
  Speaker A: You'll see. So. So person one. Person one text. Can we do tomorrow? I don't know why Wednesday never works. So you're getting from the context that like these. These two people have like a standing appointment every Wednesday and they reschedule a lot. Okay, so simple request, I'm seeing person two. Person two texts. Yeah. Can I get a better heads up, though? Same day messes up my nights. All right, now that's fair. It goes on, yada, yada. They work it out. They end up doing the Wednesday night thing. Now you're thinking person one is a real piece of shit. I know what you're thinking because that's, that's what I thought when I read these for the first time.
• 2:02
  Speaker B: I thought.
• 2:03
  Speaker A: I thought, this guy is a crazy asshole who's flaking out on his. On his associate every week. And then I scrolled up and I saw that on July 15, person one appears to not even know that person two is in Tucson for a conference until. God, I gotta check the timestamp until 6:57. That's. I mean, that's why. That's. That's like quite a plot twist if you ask me.
• 2:38
  Speaker B: All right, now in person two's defense, I can imagine person two being like, take your gear. Do it in your room. And then it was like, okay, but if the boss stays the night, can't do it. And the owner actually stayed the night that night. And I was like, okay. So I had to cancel last Minute by person one. Person two probably had to cancel last minute.
• 3:04
  Speaker A: Probably. Probably. It doesn't sound like person one tries to give people a hard time about stuff like that.
• 3:12
  Speaker B: Okay. But I did rearrange my week for tonight. I was like, hey, look, babe, like, I'm going home tomorrow night. This was last night. I'm going home tomorrow night. I said, one, I got to do laundry from the trip to I got, you know, I haven't seen in three podcasts. And she was like. She got all sad, and I was like, I. I gotta do it, babe. I gotta do it for me. She kept looking at me and I'm like, it is what it is. And she was like, all right, go ahead. And I was like, but I'll be back Thursday. She was like, okay, that makes sense. And then when you texted. When person one texted, probably person two. Person two was kind of like, she already made plans to go be with her sister and mom and dad, and then I'm gonna, you know. So it was like, ah, this guy.
• 4:07
  Speaker A: Yeah, no, I. I figured it was that. And I. I thought about it a lot because I actually felt really bad. So when I was thinking about it, I was like, it. It really all came down to, like, yes, there might be five good reasons to try to do it tomorrow instead of tonight, but it all came down to convenience and preference, which then made me realize I put convenience and preference over a friend and their convenience and preference. So I do actually want to genuinely apologize that I even tried to do that. No, no, no, no, no, don't. Save it, Save it. I don't need the.
• 4:50
  Speaker B: If I can roll, I'll roll. If I can roll, I'll roll.
• 4:54
  Speaker A: Sure.
• 4:54
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:55
  Speaker A: I just. I just want to say, like, I just should be better about putting you above circumstances. And, you know, that's.
• 5:03
  Speaker B: I appreciate that. Yeah.
• 5:06
  Speaker A: So.
• 5:07
  Speaker B: All right, ladies, take lessons. That is how you resolve your conflict.
• 5:14
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was. It was just, dude, her. My daughter's sleep has been a mess, so she's waking up at like 5:30 or 6 every day, whether she goes to bed at 10 or whether she goes to bed at 7. So we're. We're just. We're trying to figure that whole thing out.
• 5:37
  Speaker B: That's a good time for you to get up, though.
• 5:40
  Speaker A: It's a good time for me to get up without her. It's not a good time for me to be woken up by her. So we were trying to figure that out, and we were like, okay, well, we're gonna put her to bed. Super late tonight so that she sleeps in a little bit tomorrow or hopefully. And then we realized, like, no, she gets up at 6 even when we put her to bed at 10. So, like, we need to put her to bed like at 6 tonight. So at one point my wife was gonna do it for me so I could do the podcast. And then we ended up putting her to bed at 6, so it all just. If I had never even texted you, everything would have worked out perfect, so.
• 6:20
  Speaker B: Well, that's good. Glad to hear that. Glad to hear that. Yeah.
• 6:27
  Speaker A: So how was your week?
• 6:29
  Speaker B: My week was.
• 6:31
  Speaker A: Or your two weeks?
• 6:32
  Speaker B: My week felt crazy, bro. So, like, I had to go to a conference Tuesday night and I couldn't leave till Friday at noon. That was the first you could clean up. So we do that. Day one kicked my butt. Like, we were out in the. We were like under a easy up, but still. Like, the humidity, the heat, everything, it, like my feet were just killing me. By like noon, we were out on a golf course from like seven to noon, 6:30. We got there at six. Six to noon, we were out on the golf course and it was just standing around like a lie. Yeah. Just trying to entertain people. Hey, what's going on? Can I get you a koozie? Would you like water? Hey, so what do you guys do?
• 7:19
  Speaker A: Is there shade?
• 7:21
  Speaker B: Yeah, I'm under an easy for sure. And so. But I was just tired and my feet hurt. And then like, my. The owner of our company was in the tournament. I was just doing. I was hosting our sponsored hole. So we do that and then we move forward in. Straight into, like, the freaking conference. Like, I now have to break down the sponsored hole, take it over to the conference room, set it up in. In the conference room, like, get our table going. And then the show starts. So, like, the show starts. We're, you know, we're like rubbing elbows, talking to people, and it goes straight from, like, show is over to patio. Now you, like, entertain more folks. So we end up doing that. It went from like that to dinner, actually. Then you go to the patio and so, like, we just didn't get back into our room until like, we probably didn't go to bed till two. And then you had to do it again on. On the next day. And then the last day, Friday, you can leave. You can't break down until noon. So, like, soon as. And then I had to go straight to California. So soon as noon came, I break down. I'm out, I'm on the road. Right. I told Miami, look, have Jackson Drop you off at my place at 1:30. I'll be there. She's like, all right, if you can give me a heads up. I said, what kind of heads up you need sled? Oh, let's do an hour. Okay. I could just call you when I leave and you know it's gonna be an hour and a half, but that's cool. Our hits. Boop. Hey babe, hour out, conference is Great. Hang up. 20 minutes out. Call her again. Hey babe, what are you up to? Just let you know I'm 20 minutes out.
• 9:29
  Speaker A: Oh
• 9:33
  Speaker B: I, I forgot I had to do time cards. I'm like, oh, okay. She's like, but yeah, I got everything knocked out. I'm like, alright, cool. Well I'm 20 minutes out. Then all of a sudden like I'm at my place 1:30. I'm like dude, like we gotta now get on the road to California. So I'm like dude, where is this chick? So I look, she's still home. So I call her. I said please get on the road right now. And she was like, yes babe. And it was silent for a minute. I said, I love you. We hung up. Then she gets. So she gets there like at 152. I don't like the way you talk to me. Hey. Cuz. She sent to me, she sends me a picture on her way there of traffic on a road due to construction. Sitting in traffic. My response was piss poor planning. That's what my grandpa used to always say.
• 10:44
  Speaker A: I don't like how you talk to her either.
• 10:49
  Speaker B: So she shows up. I don't like how you talk to me, man. Sits in the car all the way there, dude, just pouty face looking out the window. I'm not trying to make up because I feel like an apology is owed to the guy who was on the road, not to the girl who, who had all morning to do what she had to do. Yeah, she took the day off, you know what I mean? I'm picking you up at 1:30, bro. Like you know, I don't know. But now I got to drive another six hours to California for a wedding and we got to go straight to like the rehearsal dinner.
• 11:27
  Speaker A: Oh my God, no. So dude, that's the worst.
• 11:31
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 11:31
  Speaker A: So we did not have any decompression time.
• 11:34
  Speaker B: None. No. Except for on the road and you're not really.
• 11:37
  Speaker A: Yeah, but that's not decompress. Well, that's decompression for her passenger, princess. It's not decompression for you driving.
• 11:44
  Speaker B: Yeah, I'm doing 90 95. So we get there, we go to the dinner. It's overwhelming already. Like, mind you, I'm coming from a three day conference where all I did was engage with it with someone every moment.
• 11:55
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 11:56
  Speaker B: Trying to just get business, build relationships, get my. Get our company name out there. And then I'm rooming with the owner of our company. So it's not like I get back to the room and it's like, hey, all right, see you in the morning. You do you. I'm gonna go like, zone out, watch cops. No, it's like, hey, so did you talk to so and so? Hey, tomorrow I'd like to talk to so and so. You know, I thought that went well today. What'd you think of this? And it was like, okay. So I get there and everybody's like, oh, is this. Is this. What are we. What are we gonna talk about tonight, man?
• 12:32
  Speaker A: We were gonna talk about that. That podcast.
• 12:35
  Speaker B: Okay, is this Jack Lemmon? And it was like, yeah, that's my best friend Jack Lemmon. And then they're like, hey, Jack, get over here. Mr. Lemon, get over here. Let us get a picture of you. And I'm like, dude, hold on. Like, his son's now in my face talking to me. You can see I'm meeting it. Like, I'm hugging his. He's introducing me. There's clearly an introduction. I'm hugging, like, this chick. So it was just like a lot. And then like, grandpa one wants to talk to me and tell jokes. Grandpa two wants to talk to me and, like, tell jokes. And honestly, my boy is great, but, like, I didn't realize. I've met his brother. And his brother, don't get me wrong, like, he got married. He fls Lars, he larps. And he got married in, like a medieval, like, setting. Like, you had to dress up like a knight and all that and king. And, you know, so like, he did. He does all that. And then like, all of a sudden, like, he's introducing me to like, like. And so I'm already thinking, like, that's pretty country. Nah, man, that wasn't even country, dude. The LARPing and then the medieval night stuff, that wasn't. That wasn't. Country. Country was like, everybody else in his family, like, country as bro. And they're all, like, wanting to, like, get pictures.
• 14:01
  Speaker A: Me.
• 14:02
  Speaker B: Me with the. The groom, you know, and as well as they're all introducing themselves, I'm overwhelmed. I'm like, okay. So then he's like, hey, small group of us, we're going back to the house. Let's go. So I'm like, alright. So I roll back to the house with them. She's like, hey, like, I want to go check into our room and like, relax a little bit. I'm like, now I feel that. Give this about a half hour, we'll take off. So we do that, get our room. Next day, soon as we wake up, we got to go to breakfast with them. And then she does this. She says, we gotta stop by Target. I need to get some boob tape, some other things.
• 14:43
  Speaker A: The fuck we do.
• 14:46
  Speaker B: So I said, so then we gotta leave like right now. Cuz like, we have to not only leave Mission Viejo, hit Target, then we gotta go back to the hotel, get dressed. And then like. And she was like, yeah. So we run to Target, no boob tape. She's like, you know who always has it? Ross and T.J. maxx. All right, I know where one is. We gotta exit El Toro anyways. I know where one is. It's right off the freeway. Boom. Bust in.
• 15:21
  Speaker A: Oh, nope, it's gone, isn't it?
• 15:25
  Speaker B: T.J. maxx is. But Ross was still there. Oh, shit.
• 15:29
  Speaker A: I thought that raw. I thought that. That Ross was turning into a men's warehouse.
• 15:34
  Speaker B: Like, wait, there's a. There's a TJ Maxx cross street. I didn't think about the one on the other side of the freeway. I thought about the one that used to be by Home Goods. So I drive over to Home goods. There's no T.J. maxx. I think I was confused. So then I'm like, fuck, dude. So she's like, just forget it. I'm like, are you sure? Like, yeah, just forget it. So I'm like, all right, cool. I'm good with that. So we forget it. We drive to our hotel. We have now 50 minutes to get ready before we got to leave. I'm like, dude, I got a shave I got to do. Okay, so we get it done. We go straight to the wedding. It's pictures, getting ready, pictures, ceremony, more pictures, pictures. And then now it's party time. They're expecting Mr. Lemon, right? So, you know, I party all night, dance all night. I mean, and she was. She was. She was a champ. She was a champ, dude. I switched it up. I mean, we went from like Superman, that hoe to like Footloose, dude. Just like Mexican music, bro. She couldn't handle the Mexican music. But my. Because my hips don't lie, bro. So, yeah, it was it. And then we, like the next day, we were so tired. The Next day, we woke up, like, we got out, like, on the boulevard at, like, noon, walked up to Sawdust Festival, did that, grab something to eat, walked around the shop so that she'd get stuff for. For. For her son, and they went back to the hotel room and literally, like, crapped out in the hotel room. Pictures, dude.
• 17:24
  Speaker A: It was nice.
• 17:26
  Speaker B: In reality, it was like a Motel 3, dude. No storage closet. Didn't have doors, curtain, anything, but it had two curtain rods. I mean, like, bathroom had water damage everywhere. It was ridiculous.
• 17:44
  Speaker A: It sucked. That's terrible.
• 17:45
  Speaker B: But it was cool. It was a fun time.
• 17:47
  Speaker A: Was the wedding venue at. In Aliso Viejo?
• 17:51
  Speaker B: Yeah. On a golf course.
• 17:54
  Speaker A: Yeah. So we were gonna get married there.
• 17:57
  Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know, dude. I don't know what I think about it.
• 18:01
  Speaker A: I mean, like, I didn't like it. We had a way cooler place picked out in Anaheim. And then for whatever reason, my mom started pressuring my wife to go with that Aliso Viejo place. And my wife was trying to keep her happy and capitulated.
• 18:21
  Speaker B: Is that where you got married?
• 18:22
  Speaker A: It? No, we were. We were supposed to get married there. Halloween of 2020. We canceled it.
• 18:29
  Speaker B: Oh, where did you get buried?
• 18:31
  Speaker A: At a park across the street from. From my house.
• 18:36
  Speaker B: Serious?
• 18:38
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:39
  Speaker B: Wow. Yeah. I mean, like, so two things. It was right by the swimming pool, and that's where the ceremony was. And then on the other side of the swimming pools where the reception was, and then on the other side of the reception building, there was a clubhouse that had a bar in it. But you couldn't get anything from the bar unless you were a member of the clubhouse. So, like. Yeah, so we got rejected. And then, like, two guys sitting at the bar was like, we'll buy you one. So then. But then now you have to entertain them. You can't just be like, all right, thanks, guys. We're out.
• 19:13
  Speaker A: Yeah, right?
• 19:13
  Speaker B: You know, they're telling their stories. Your gig, you know, you're doing the laughs, you're talking. You're trying to be somewhat, you know, not impressive, but at least substance and. Yeah. I don't know, dude. So, like, it felt like the weekend just flew by. And then I'm driving back here, but I'm exhausted, dude. I was exhausted.
• 19:39
  Speaker A: Yeah, I can imagine. Six hours, too. That's like, it's not as bad as it could be. I mean, I did 22 hour drives from Oklahoma and back, but, like, six hours is still so long to just be staring at a line on the ground, you know what I mean?
• 19:59
  Speaker B: So I'm able to do it in a, like around five.
• 20:04
  Speaker A: Yeah. Because you drive.
• 20:06
  Speaker B: Yeah. When you go 90, 90, 95, like you can make it in five. But again, it's like that whole drive you're working. You know what I mean?
• 20:16
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:17
  Speaker B: Like you're trying to beat the game. You're like, oh, yeah, you think, you think 8, 30.
• 20:22
  Speaker A: Ah, you know, you're, you're thinking on a higher level. You're, you're probably, you probably have slightly more cortisol driving at those speeds and like weaving in and out of people and stuff. So it's, it's not restful.
• 20:39
  Speaker B: Yes, exactly. And she is just like, oh, oh, oh.
• 20:44
  Speaker A: I was going to ask, I was going to ask how she feels about you driving because like, even I have made high pitched noises in your car. I feel like, oh, do you see him? Do you see him slow down? I'm putting my foot down. Like there's a break.
• 21:08
  Speaker B: I live by certain rules. Like I won't ever cut somebody off just to break in front of them. You know what I mean? Like, they'll have to have some space in front of them and it will have to make sense. Like they'll have to see and be like, that makes sense. I never want to get in front of a car. And then like, maybe even the car is ahead a little bit. But all of a sudden, like they're, they're like right there because they kept going the same speed and they eventually caught up and then they're like, yeah, dumbass, I didn't speed and here I am.
• 21:40
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 21:41
  Speaker B: So yes, I live by like certain. I, I have a code of conduct, you know, But I also feel like I know where I'm going. So it's like, okay, I'm not only gonna jump it in this right lane, but I'm gonna hit right back into the left lane and take off. But man, there's so many dicks out there. They like, they don't want to move. They're like, nah, refuse to get over and let you pass me. And you're like, no one's next to you. Even both lanes are open, but you're making the faster guy do the maneuvers. Why don't you just get over, bro, and then get right back over. They don't want to do it.
• 22:18
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's, that's a dick move. I think it's well established now that I set the cruise control at the speed limit and just sort of accept that it's going to take however long it takes to get places. But what I'VE What I've taken to doing now is because every single day, maybe twice, someone will be riding my ass, and then we'll just realize I'm not going to speed up. And they get over and speed past me, and then, I mean, almost every day, I just end up next to them at a red light. And so what I've been doing lately is I've been rolling my window down to just. Just point out to them, just say, hey, did you notice how we ended up here? At the same time? It's almost like it doesn't matter how fast you go. And. And I've done it two or three times. No one will roll their window down for me. I'll be like, pointing down, like, streets are different.
• 23:17
  Speaker B: Streets are different. Like, sure. Streets to me are like, that's exactly going to happen. I will go my speed limit, but I'm not going to, like, cut you off. I'm not going to, like, try and zoom around you. If I come up to you on the street and you're doing the speed limit, it's 45, and I'm doing 60. Okay, I'm just going to sit behind you then. Like, it is what it is now. On freeways, though. And that's the other thing. On freeways, if you don't move and I got to go around you, I'm. I'm. I'm blinkering out. I'm barely going around you, and I'm coming in hard without a blinker so that, you know, screw off. And then I'm gonna keep driving. I'm not gonna break check you not gonna do all that stuff. I'm just gonna act like you're not there, and I'm gonna blink her out, and I'm gonna come around you close enough to where you think I'm gonna hit you, and I just keep going because you should have moved. And then. Then they. It's almost like they look up at that point and they see like, three other cars behind them, and they're like, I should get over. And you're like, you know, it's like, what the. People are idiots, bro.
• 24:24
  Speaker A: Yeah. I keep as far to the right as I can without being impeded by somebody in front of me. So if I can be all the way over to the right, maybe the second from the right, and I'm not catching up to anyone. I'll hang out there the whole drive. And then if. If I'm going faster than someone in front of me, I get over one. We're so clears up. I get Back. Yeah, well, it's just like, I, I've not been a speeder for most of the last, let's call it 10 years, probably. I've just sort of accepted, you know, just going the speed limit because I got pulled over a couple times, and I got very lucky not to get a ticket. So I kind of had a Damascus road experience.
• 25:13
  Speaker B: Like, I don't all speed on the way to California because, like, not only that, but I could see a lot before me and behind me. I'm not a dick. I don't zoom in and out of traffic. I'm going to pass you, and I'm going to try and stay in the left lane. If trucks are in front of me, trucks are in front of me on the freeway. I'm left lane, matching the car in front of me on the left, like, very left. You're going 8085. I'm going 8085.
• 25:43
  Speaker A: Yeah. So, yeah, well, yeah, actually, hey, real quick. Every time I feel like, oh, that's right. Welcome to Pseudonyms. I, I feel like every time I sped in Oklahoma, because it was that rare, I got pulled over immediately. I got pulled over for speed and twice that I can remember, and probably something else. Another. Oh, yeah, yeah. One time they, they ran my plate and they must have hit a wrong button or something because they got like someone else's license plate came up, so they thought I had a fake plate on. And I still had a California plate. But the other two times I got pulled over for speeding and it was like, dude, I just, I never speed. And the one fucking time I do it, here's the, you know, the pig, you know, just, just oinking his way right up to me. And it's just like from after that, I was like, dude, this, like, I, it just. If I'm late, I'm late. I will. I'll send a text and apologize. Like, I'm not around anymore. You know, I've gotten pulled over six times in life. Never gotten a ticket for anything because you're white. And I, I, I, I know even white people when I say that even white people are like, how, how is that possible? I'm just that charming. But I know that seventh time I'm not going to be lucky again. It's coming for me.
• 27:23
  Speaker B: This is where, this is where I honestly am like, yeah, I understand white privilege. I don't understand it in some categories, but in some I do. I could understand it. For I have prejudices. I automatically think, like, we watch reality shows of people building houses. Let's just talk about this type of stuff. Like the stuff you look at. You look at someone and you already judge them. Okay, so they're building houses and like this black couple comes on and I'm like, their stuff's gonna be loud and they're gonna have breakdowns in this, in this show. She's like, you can't say that. I'm like, yeah, I'm not picking them to win. She like, you can't say that. I'm like, yeah, most black people in these building houses, reality shows, like, they're just kind of like, I'm not doing this, I don't know, you know, And I'm like, and their stuff is different, it's louder. And so like I get it in that sense because also when someone comes to apply, if you're not a well kept black dude, I automatically am like, Nick. But you know what I mean? Like, it's just there's so many guys I've worked with that were black that were just like, not. They like want to skate. Like as if you, they're entitled, you know, I mean like they'll work hard as fuck in front of you and then you'll leave. And you know, they're kicking back somewhere, they're taking it easy. And so I got pulled over with a stolen car. I got pulled over, two stolen cars. One was in a wreck and then the other was I got a ticket, driving it, driving on the street. And then I also got pulled over doing 90 on El Toro. So reckless driving, straddling the lanes because I was racing someone and my car,
• 29:39
  Speaker A: that's more than double the speed limit.
• 29:42
  Speaker B: Yeah, my car wasn't fast enough. So like this, this cop is like, lincoln, Toyota, pull over to the right after the left turn. So we pull over the right. He's like, dude, that was reckless driving. Like I should cut up your guys license, let's just go. Stolen car, never had the title for it. Bought it in Santa Ana, paid cash. I didn't have a license. They didn't care. They didn't have a title. Yeah, I didn't care. So got pulled over in that. I wrecked it racing. Got pulled over in that. And they're like, hey, where's your registration? Where's this? And I was like, it's all at home. They're like, all right, here's the ticket for not having it on you paid $10 in court after taking some other registration from our Ford Aerostar. Copying it, whiting out, copying it again, filling in the blanks, copying, copying it again, taking it in, and they were like, okay, you're good. And then lastly, was driving my friend's. My friend's car in quotes down the street, and a cop just pulled me over because, you know, it was old and wasn't running well. And every time, it was just like, my grandpa gave me the car, sir. And before I, like, put any money into it, I just wanted to see if it, like, drove, you know, like, how well it ran. He's like, well, all right. Well, take it home, put it in the garage. You know, it runs now. Like, thanks. Hey, do you like being a cop? Because I'm really thinking about it. What do you think of that? Walter Matthau
• 31:41
  Speaker A: helps to throw a little. Like, hey, you know, are people being good to you out here? Like, I know this is. This is a tough time to be doing this job, dude. Like, you know, thanks for your service. I hope people are being good to you. You know, that. That really goes a long way. And, God, if they only knew how I felt about cops. I know if I could push a button and kill all of you, I probably would. It's crazy that you've not given me a ticket. I actually like that this. This charger that I bought for the car does not appear to be charging my laptop, so I'm gonna have to take this party inside. I can get inside, go into the
• 32:27
  Speaker B: bedroom, and tell her, go make friends with my family.
• 32:33
  Speaker A: I know, dude. That's the thing. Like, she doesn't want to hang out in the living room with my parents. Obviously, she doesn't want to go to bed yet. Although she might already be in bed. She just wasn't. Right now. We do not.
• 32:48
  Speaker B: Oh. So. Okay. It's not a bad thing. Yeah, Move it inside, bro.
• 32:53
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna stop recording, and then we'll pick up. I should only need, like, five minutes, but I'll. I'll call you when I'm ready.
• 33:03
  Speaker B: Okay, Sounds good.
• 33:05
  Speaker A: Sorry.
• 33:06
  Speaker B: No worries.
• 33:08
  Speaker A: All right. So freaking broke everything down, brought it inside, Forgot my interface in the car. Had to go back out for the interface.
• 33:19
  Speaker B: I was like, dude, this is longer than five minutes.
• 33:22
  Speaker A: Yeah, I really need the portable recorder.
• 33:27
  Speaker B: How's your. How's your week going, bro? What'd you do this week?
• 33:33
  Speaker A: Gosh, dude, it. It feels like three days since we last did an episode. So it flew by. I could tell you that much. Freaking started membership classes at my church. That was cool. Hung out with the kid a lot. Going insane. Sort of like living with a deranged clown. You know, just saying weird things and doing weird things and you might get sprayed with water and, you know, you just never know.
• 34:16
  Speaker B: Are your mom and dad home during the day?
• 34:19
  Speaker A: For the most part, yeah. Yeah, my dad's kind of in and out, but my mom's usually here.
• 34:29
  Speaker B: Fuck. Your dad doing
• 34:32
  Speaker A: well, you know, actually he's been home a lot more because he had an accident. I guess we haven't recorded since he had his accident. Uh, let's see. So he, he's very claustrophobic, so in order to go to the dentist, he has to take a sedative to get, like, able to, like, sit in the chair and stuff. So he took a little too much and he's walking up the stairs to his dentist and he fell and broke his nose on the stairs.
• 35:13
  Speaker B: No shit?
• 35:14
  Speaker A: Yeah. And so my mom was waiting for him in the car and she sees a fire truck pull up and all the paramedics go rushing toward, you know, the office. And then they come out and they start calling for a red Nissan Altima. Like, does anyone have a red Nissan Altima? And that struck her as strange because we used to have a red Nissan altima from like 93 to 04, let's say. And so he was so fucked up that he told the paramedics to look for a red Nissan Altima. And then he was also so fucked up that he told them to take him to Hogue Hospital, even though his dentist is in Huntington Beach. So that's gonna be. I don't even know what the bill on that ambulance ride is gonna be.
• 36:20
  Speaker B: But they took him?
• 36:22
  Speaker A: Yeah, they took him. So, yeah, she, she got to them too late to, to stop them from, from taking him there, but yeah, so he broke his nose and had, like, a lot of bruises all over his face and stuff. So since then, he's not going out as much. He was like going to the gym and stuff, but he's not going to the gym right now.
• 36:49
  Speaker B: But was he working out or was he just treadmilling it?
• 36:53
  Speaker A: He, he, he was lifting weights. He doesn't do any cardio, but.
• 36:58
  Speaker B: Oh, good for him.
• 36:59
  Speaker A: Man, his blood pressure and blood sugar was so out of control when they took him to the hospital, that, that, that was finally a wake up call for that stuff. So he's been taking medication for those things and trying to diet and stuff. So, yeah, it might have ended up being worth it.
• 37:24
  Speaker B: Oh, all right. Wow. So he's not going out?
• 37:30
  Speaker A: Nah. I looked pretty rough for a second
• 37:34
  Speaker B: up the old Hoover Vac, huh?
• 37:40
  Speaker A: Is that. You mean his, his mouth, his nose, bro. Oh, yeah. Nah, I thought that was like a fat joke.
• 37:52
  Speaker B: Nah, man, like your booger like a hoover.
• 38:00
  Speaker A: Yeah. So that's, that's probably the most significant thing to happen in the last two weeks.
• 38:08
  Speaker B: I bought some Willy's remedy plus like that THC drink.
• 38:15
  Speaker A: Mmm.
• 38:17
  Speaker B: And if you buy two bottles, it comes with like four single shots and they're like, they're packaged in glass bottles that look like five hour energies.
• 38:30
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 38:32
  Speaker B: So I crack one. Alright. See how this goes. Nothing. Next time crack one. Like, alright, maybe I'll realize this one because I'm not in fucking the sun on a golf course. Nothing. So then I'm like, okay, now I'm gonna, I'm gonna smoke a little and crack one. Fucking nothing, dude. Like I'm hoping. Yeah, dude, I'm really like, I don't think it's gonna be worth the money if I can't take like a shot and feel like. Good, you know?
• 39:15
  Speaker A: Have you tried to.
• 39:18
  Speaker B: Not yet. We're doing that this weekend.
• 39:21
  Speaker A: Okay. So I had a, I had a bit of a weed phase from 2022 to. Let's call it 2023, about a year on and off. And, and I was buying vapes and gummies and the tincture that you put in the drink.
• 39:45
  Speaker B: Yep.
• 39:45
  Speaker A: Buying all that stuff and I was hitting the vape a lot and it was, it was pretty retarded. It. I would get to the point of like retardation, unable to do anything but sit on the couch and watch tv. So it was a big waste of time. But this one night I decide I'm gonna try the, the tincture and I've already been vaping like all night and, and I put, you know, a few drops in because I don't know, there's no instructions on the bottle. So for a couple, actually for a couple nights leading up to it, I had been putting like increasingly more drops in and not feeling any effect.
• 40:25
  Speaker B: I'll do 10 under my tongue. 10 drops.
• 40:29
  Speaker A: See, I never tried it directly into my mouth. I only put it in my drink. Oh.
• 40:35
  Speaker B: That's how they told me to do it. So I was like, all right.
• 40:38
  Speaker A: And okay, so maybe, maybe that's what I should, should have been doing. But finally I'm just like, you know what? Fuck it, dude. Obviously I'm supposed to put the whole dropper in there. I'm like, if, if a quarter of the dropper is not having an effect, then obviously like the dropper is one dose. So like, let me just put that in there. And I drink it and I'm still like, vaping, you know, the. The weed. And I'm like, just still not feeling anything. And I'm like, well, all right, you know, fuck this stuff I get tomorrow. I guess I'll do two droppers, whatever. And I go to bed. And I'm just laying down in bed when I realize, oh, I've just gotten very, very high. Like, my. My heart starts racing and I realized, like, I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep and the room is too dark and I can't. Like, I, like, I have a lot of energy all of a sudden too, which is weird because that's usually the opposite. So I go out to the library. That's right. I had a library at my old house. That was great. But I went to the library and I like, close the curtains and I just start pacing back and forth in the library for like, probably an hour and a half until I. Well enough. And then finally I had calmed down enough to. To go back to bed. But yeah, that was.
• 42:15
  Speaker B: So I've had two people that were like, oh, I got this edible. And one was like, it. It's 50 milligrams. And it was like a chocolate peanut butter. So I eat it with her. We're like sitting in the car. She's like, do you feel it? I said, outside of the cotton mouth, I don't feel nothing. She's like, are you serious? When I got nothing at all, never felt nothing. Fast forward maybe a year, maybe two or three years, and my ex father in law brings his girlfriend, and she's like, oh, I got some 250 milligram gummies upstairs that I brought with me from XYZ, from Nebraska. I say, you mind if I grab one? She's like, no. So I grab one. Nothing, bro. Nothing. I almost think edibles don't work on me. I've seen other people get floored by them.
• 43:21
  Speaker A: Yeah, well, usually you think it's not working, so you. You take more, and then that's when you get into. You. You go see the devil's dick.
• 43:33
  Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna try. It says three shots and you should be happy. So I'm gonna try the three shots.
• 43:41
  Speaker A: Yeah. You said ex father in law. Do you mean her stepfather?
• 43:50
  Speaker B: No, big country. Her real dad.
• 43:56
  Speaker A: Okay. Because I was gonna say if. If the stepdad ended up leaving after everything that he pulled.
• 44:05
  Speaker B: Yeah. Nah, they're together still.
• 44:09
  Speaker A: That's good, I guess.
• 44:11
  Speaker B: Yeah, right. Bent like a failed suicide attempt. You got retard.
• 44:19
  Speaker A: Since you. Since you brought it up, I guess we might as well tell the story. But he tried. This is my recollection of it. He tries to shoot himself in the head with a.22. It's not strong enough to pierce his skull, but it does do a little bit of brain damage and, like, cause a lot of bleeding. And after, like, a day of bleeding in the house, he calls Big country and very nonchalantly is like, hey, could you come over and help me with something? And then she walks into a bloodbath and was pretty fucked up from that, if I remember correctly.
• 45:03
  Speaker B: Yeah, that happened. But he did pierce the skull. It just. It. It didn't. Like, like 22s. And that's what I was trying to tell her. 22s are the worst because they just bounce around. They don't, like, enter, exit. You know what I mean? I was like, if. And honestly, he should have known that if you own guns, you know, a.22, why don't you take the nine, huh? Scared? Yeah. You know what I mean?
• 45:39
  Speaker A: I think sometimes a.22 might go far enough in to kill someone.
• 45:49
  Speaker B: It'll go in.
• 45:50
  Speaker A: I don't think that's gonna happen every time.
• 45:54
  Speaker B: 22s bounce around, though. Off of bone. So they pierce bone and then they just bounce around inside? Well, I guess, like, his pierced bone, but then came out. Came out. I. I think of. I don't know. But anyhow, he had to get, like, 14 surgeries done on his eye and brain within, like, the first couple weeks,
• 46:21
  Speaker A: dude.
• 46:22
  Speaker B: And then now he's like, normal, but like a kid. So it's kind of like he's like, real soft, you know? Can I get you something? You're just like, yeah, dude, you know? I don't know. He's just kind of retarded.
• 46:40
  Speaker A: Is there, like a vetting process before they do all those surgeries for someone who just tried to kill themselves? Like, do they make sure he's not going to do that again before they waste all that time and resources?
• 46:56
  Speaker B: I don't think so, bro.
• 46:58
  Speaker A: Dude. I mean, like, if I was the surgeon, I would, like, question whether I was doing the right thing.
• 47:06
  Speaker B: I mean, here's the thing. There's really no pressure. Like, if I up. I up right, guys, like, he's trying to commit suicide.
• 47:19
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's true.
• 47:20
  Speaker B: You know, like, well, this is a free paid. And I get some practice. Yeah. You know?
• 47:26
  Speaker A: Yeah, practice. This half cadaver.
• 47:32
  Speaker B: That's kind of how I feel, dude. I'd go into it, like, no matter what, what happens, guys we came out as winners.
• 47:41
  Speaker A: That's right. Teamwork
• 47:44
  Speaker B: makes the dream work. Yeah.
• 47:50
  Speaker A: So our topic for tonight. I did listen to that podcast twice, but I'm not really sure, like, what you want to jump into if you still wanted to do that.
• 48:06
  Speaker B: I'm not against that. I thought I had some good points. I mean, it's. Some of it sounded like Atomic Habits.
• 48:14
  Speaker A: Mm.
• 48:16
  Speaker B: As far as, like, setting up your system, but I thought it was, like, overall a good podcast. About.
• 48:24
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 48:29
  Speaker B: What was it was about Mindset. Right. It was like.
• 48:33
  Speaker A: It was. It was an episode of the Knowledge Project. Right.
• 48:36
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 48:38
  Speaker A: And wasn't the. The. The guest was the author of Atomic Habits? Right.
• 48:43
  Speaker B: No, no, no, no. He ends up quoting James Clear.
• 48:47
  Speaker A: He's like, hey, like, that's what it was.
• 48:49
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 48:52
  Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, yeah.
• 48:59
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I saw it was a good podcast. And the crappy part is I sent it to Miami. She has like an hour drive with her son home. I'm like, hey, it's a great podcast. You should listen to it. But instead, no. She pushes her agenda on, oh, so you're going to go see your dad, huh? All right, here we go. All right. So is the mindset that unlocks your full potential. And it was Dr. Gio Valiante. So he starts with that whole, like, study of the heat plate and single cell organisms and just in the sense of choosing. You know, you said that earlier. I was putting my convenience and something else over your. Your, like, convenience and preference or whatever. But. But he's basically making that point with the study of, like, hey, like, everybody chooses comfort and safety. Like, we're all, like, programmed for comfort and safety to seek it. And he says that's the exact opposite of over performance or realizing one's full potential. So comfort. So discomfort essentially is a key to reaching your full potential. And I'm kind of a believer of that. I guess I'm a real big believer of that because I feel like you learn more in your valleys than you do on your mountaintops, I'd say.
• 51:05
  Speaker A: So. I think. I mean, it. It just. I guess it's too simple to say that discomfort makes you grow. But I mean, it really is like. Like I've been running and I try, you know, I run till I can't anymore and then I walk a little bit until I catch my breath and I can run again. And I take the same track every single night.
• 51:31
  Speaker B: Nice. I was gonna ask that.
• 51:34
  Speaker A: Yes. So that I can track my progress. And so what I've been doing is just making sure that I get to One lamppost farther than I went the night before. That's kind of just my goal. If I can go farther than that. Cool. But if I'm really, like, juicing out, then I just stop when I get to the next lamppost. And so I know that there's always progress. And, you know, I guess it would be easier every night if I did the same exact, you know, portions of running and walking and running and walking, but I wouldn't be getting any closer to running the full mile and a half without, you know, like, I wouldn't be any closer to, like, running the full thing.
• 52:21
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 52:22
  Speaker A: So it's like, whether it's muscular growth or learning or building a habit or anything, you do need kind of to get out of, you know, comfort. Comfort, but also routine. You got to get out of, you know, doing the same thing the same way, you know, because it stretches your mind, and, you know, I guess that.
• 52:52
  Speaker B: Sure.
• 52:52
  Speaker A: How the growth takes place.
• 52:54
  Speaker B: Well, that's also building the system. Like James Clear talks about, you know, if you want to go to the gym more. Well. And you want to watch TV less, take the batteries out of the remote, put them in two separate drawers. Put your gym clothes, like, either on your. Better. Like, by the front. Your gym bag by the front door. You know, he's like, you have to build systems that make things easier for you when you don't want to do them.
• 53:23
  Speaker A: Mm.
• 53:25
  Speaker B: So, yeah. Are you currently choosing discomfort, would you say?
• 53:34
  Speaker A: Yeah, in that. In that case, like, for running, I am. And sometimes it doesn't feel like it's getting any easier to take the run, but what I'm focusing on is how good I feel after I run, you know, Like, I never feel like getting in the shower, but I love the feeling of being clean. So it's like, that's always gonna be the motivation to get up and get in the shower. You know, the feeling of having run, knowing that I've exercised, knowing my blood pressure is gonna be lower when I take it tonight. You know, like, that is the stuff that I'm. I'm running for. So it. It makes it easier to get out there and do it.
• 54:23
  Speaker B: Right on. So he had a statement. He said, thinking is just rearranging your prejudices. What are your thoughts on that?
• 54:38
  Speaker A: Thinking is just rearranging your preferences. I.
• 54:42
  Speaker B: Your prejudices.
• 54:43
  Speaker A: Oh, prejudices. Yeah. Sorry.
• 54:45
  Speaker B: I.
• 54:49
  Speaker A: I think yes, you like. I mean, I. If I recall from the podcast that he. He meant, like, prejudice being, like, the way that you think of something, the way that you generalize things, basically. And yes, I would say so. Like, generally, if your goal is to relax after work, then, like, you have to rearrange that generalization of what your night should look like in order to grow and learn something or, you know, learn a skill or exercise or whatever it is. And so you kind of have to recognize, like, what are the ways that you're falling into thinking that way and how do you. You know. That's basically what he was saying, right?
• 55:46
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 55:48
  Speaker A: What was your take?
• 55:49
  Speaker B: But he. Well, he also follows that. It's almost like I. I felt like he was saying, you can't expand your thought.
• 56:05
  Speaker A: Ah.
• 56:05
  Speaker B: It's almost like. And I kind of get it, because you can't really. You can't. You, Walter Matthow, cannot come up with a thought that was not, like, somehow given to you. And I mean that in the sense of, like, bits of information. Maybe you make this new thought, but they were. They were little things you either saw, read, were fed to you in some
• 56:32
  Speaker A: way,
• 56:35
  Speaker B: but it's every bit of your thought. Maybe not your whole thought comes from one thing, majority, but your experiences throughout your life, and then you have this thought. So I don't know if it's really, like, prejudices.
• 56:55
  Speaker A: I think it would kind of depend on how you're defining that word. But my wife and I have had this argument a lot when. When we first met, and we would talk about, like, theology and philosophy and stuff, we would argue about free will a lot, because I don't really believe in free will in the sense that people use it. Use that phrase. And she's a big proponent of free will. So the. The example I would always use to her is that, like, all of, you know, basically what you're saying, like, all of your experiences, all of everything, has kind of influenced any small choice that you're gonna make right now. And, you know, if it's like, if I order an iced tea at a restaurant, there's a million things that influenced that decision. You know, like, I've had it before. You know, my mom drank a lot of iced tea when I was a kid, so that, you know. You know, somehow influenced my decision to try it. And then I tried it, and I liked it. And I, you know, feel a certain way about soda now and all this. You know, there's a lot of information that's gotten to me through podcasts and stuff about soda. So I don't want to order a soda in a restaurant. I want to order something else, you know, and so there's. You can really peel it Back and find probably a thousand reasons why I order an iced tea over anything else at a restaurant. But I feel like I'm just choosing that randomly. I feel like I'm. I'm just making that choice completely of my own will. But the. There's a lot of things influencing that.
• 58:47
  Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Now he makes. He says it's all in the doing. It's not in the saying. It's not in the thinking. It's in the doing. And we don't think our way. Who do you quote right here? We don't think our way into a pattern of living. We live our way into a pattern of thought. That. That, to me, was. Was, like, powerful, bro. We don't think our way into a pattern of living. We live our way into a pattern of thought.
• 59:22
  Speaker A: Right. So if I were to apply that to exercise, because that just seems like the easiest example for all these things. We don't. We don't create a lifestyle of exercise by thinking about exercise. We exercise and choose to do that, and then our thoughts are now being formed. As a person who exercises, would that be a fair way to sum that up?
• 59:54
  Speaker B: That is fair, because I guarantee you, when I was working out, I automatically wanted to eat better. Yeah. Like, by what I was doing to my body. It kind of rearranged my thoughts to say, I had a good workout today. Don't want to ruin it. I'm not. I don't. I don't want to feel bogged down. And so, yeah, it changes kind of how you. How you think.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker A: Yeah. Joe Rogan says all the time that, like, he wakes up super early, he does the cold plunge. He has, like, a really rigorous workout, you know, and all this stuff, and he's like, you know, later on in the day, if I come across an article that's talking shit on me, it's not that bad because I've done worse things to myself already that day that, like, I can handle someone saying something bad about me, you know? Like, that's. That's not as hard as getting in the cold plunge, you know?
• 1:00:57
  Speaker B: Yo. For sure. So how do we change? And he says we change by changing what we do. Look for the comfortable, comfortable habit that's holding us back and hold ourselves accountable. There's an everydayness to excellence. I love that there's an everydayness to excellence. Like, there's no days off, you know?
• 1:01:28
  Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Like, if you really. If you're gonna make a choice to be a different kind of person, that's not something you're Gonna do three days a week.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker B: Exactly.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like you. You've just gotta be that person now.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker B: Oh, it reminded me of. Of Kobe. Kobe Bryant. So Kobe Bryant would always say, like, he always took a certain amount. Amount of shots. I think it was like 200 shots a day and for practice. And they're like, bad. Like, excuse me, man, your work ethic is like, ridiculous. And his response always was like, look, how many shots do you think you've practiced, like, taken during practice throughout your life? Then the guy's like, I don't know, couple, couple thousand, like up in the high thousands. And he's like, exactly. He goes, now I'm just trying. He's like, and you're good. Imagine if you could have been that within a month or a year because you were taking 200 a day. I'm just get. I'm. I'm just. I'm just practicing the same thing more than you. And so it kind of reminded me of that. And so. And then he kind of was talking about this flow state, which to me is like tunnel vision from how he explained it.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker A: Mm.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker B: And so what are your thoughts on. On, like, flow state? Have you ever experienced something like that, like, in life?
• 1:03:23
  Speaker A: Definitely. Definitely. I think that happens a lot with creative projects. I think there. There's. There's mundane moments where I'm writing when I don't feel like writing or I'm recording music that, you know, and I don't really. You know, I'm just kind of mechanically going through it. And then there's some times and I. If I knew what caused it, I'd do it all the time. But like, there's some times where you really lock in on something and the hours just start to fly by and you don't even notice and you don't want to walk away from the pen or the. The instrument or whatever it is that you're doing. And, you know, if it was something I could recreate more often, I certainly would.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker B: I agree. I agree. How does one become great or the best version of them? And he says three things. Be mindful of your habits, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and be fully present. That is. Shoot. That's something your wife brought up. Like, he's not distracted by his phone, right? I think that is, like, huge. You know, I was at Ross today
• 1:04:58
  Speaker A: and man, looking for boob tape.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker B: You know, I was so annoyed cuz number four starts school tomorrow, first day of school, and she's like, hey. I was like, hey, do you want to go to Target? Like, where do you Want to go get some clothes? Like, you know, instead of having, like, your mom drive over here with outfits? Like, where you want to go? So she's like, can we go to Ross? I'm like, yeah, let's go to Ross. So we go to Ross and like, I'm someone that's like, go try it on before you buy it. Like, we're not doing this round trip. I'm not coming back because I never want to come back, you know? So she goes and tries it on. And the lady there, she had something wrong with her. So, like, you know, she had, like, her arms, you know, kind of, like, fully extended. She talked, like, her mouth open, but her teeth didn't move. And so you kind of had to piece it together. It was kind of like. Like, if you weren't really paying attention, you'd be like, what in the are you saying? Because it was like, I have to get. And I got shot. I get shot in my neck. And I'm like, what the fuck, dude? But I'm. I, Like, I had to, like, step away because I'm, like, shopping while I'm waiting for her. But this lady's not letting me shop. Like, she wants to tell me, you know? And I was like, okay, you're not shopping. Just practice being present, you know, like, just practice it. And so, yeah, apparently she gets shots in her neck. And she's got a dog. Her dog is sick. It's only got one eye. It runs into the wall all the time. Yeah, her stomach's upset today. She loves ice cream, but she's. She can't have it. She's allergic to dairy. Yeah. So she goes to Dairy Queen. I don't know why, but for some reason Dairy Queen has something that she can eat, so. All right,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker A: that is nice, though, when. When you. When you practice that. And I've found, honestly, the easiest way to start with that is just put the phone down for a while, leave it in the other room.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker B: I didn't take my. I had my phone with me, but I didn't want to take it out. But that is the kryptonite. If you could get. If you can mentally get past the fact that you're not gonna have your phone, you're good.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker B: You know, I mean, but like, people, like, they leave their phone, like, fuck, somebody calling. Who's texting? They hear a beep, like, oh, is that my phone? A lot of what this guy was saying, though, was very in line with James. Clear stuff from atomic habits, you know, like, just creating the small steps to get to the bigger steps, the convenience, the discomfort, and, you know, the whole change your environment thing or change your system. I do that. Like, when I'm with Miami, she just buys fucking junk food, bro. Like, she just buys ice cream and shit. That she knows is my weakness. When laying in bed watching our shows, I change my system when I go grocery. When I go grocery shopping, I don't buy anything that is, like, not healthy unless it's, like, a snack for number four, like, for school. I'm not buying cupcakes. And because I know. I know I can't, I'll buy ice cream. And so I do change my environment or my system when. When I. When I go shopping because I know what I can and cannot fight against, you know?
• 1:09:00
  Speaker A: Yeah,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker B: I do. Like the questions he asked when interviewing people like you, you know, what do you look like at your best? What do you look like at your worst? I thought those were, like, really telling. And I love when he gave that Einstein story, you know? Like, I was just actually talking about this the other day. Just. I was talking about it with Jackson, Miami, son. I said, hey, look, like you should start journaling. He's like, oh, you know, I really want to. And I'm like, yeah. No. Like, I go. When you have something that you're struggling with, like, journal about it or at least, like, have someone you can talk to about it. I was like, in fact, that's how Einstein, like, came about his theory. Like, he was struggling with it, and he took, like, his apprentice on a walk or somebody on a walk, and he was explaining his problem, and through explaining it, he was like, oh, shit. I think I just figured it out. And. And so I do like that there's so many times like that where I'll walk with, like, stretch marks. And I'm like, so, dude, like, okay, I'm struggling with the schedule. Like, if we do this, we do that. I'm just like, oh, dude. Like, I got it, you know? Hey, thanks for listening.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker A: So I love that I've been looking into. Like, I'm interested in the subconscious, and I'm. I'm trying to, like, learn and hacks and tricks to kind of get into the subconscious a little bit.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker B: And apparently yours or somebody else's?
• 1:10:37
  Speaker A: Mine.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker A: I can't handle my own, much less someone else's. But I've. I found out some cool things, and one of the. The tricks that Dr. Chatgpt told me was, if you have a problem or a question that needs answering, ask the question to yourself before you fall Asleep, because apparently, and this could all be woo woo, but apparently when your mind kind of turns off in sleep or meditation or daydreaming or anything, just anything that makes the mind go on autopilot, the subconscious does not stop working. It is suddenly working better because it doesn't have your waking mind distracting it from what it's trying to work out. So essentially, if you ask questions before you go to sleep and then go to sleep and allow your subconscious to start working things out, you might find that in two or three days you've got a solution to your problem that just comes to you because your subconscious has working on it the whole time and was given space to work out the issue. The, the only time I've experienced something like this was I was working on a short story for a friend's podcast where he, he reads short stories and he was editing it for me and he gave me like three issues with the story that I had to work out somehow. And I was meditating on my lunch break at work and just without thinking about it or anything, all three solutions just came to me rapid fire, just bam, bam, bam. I just had the, the, the thing in the story that would fix all those problems. And then I, I finished my meditation and I went, and he's a vampire. It was, it's, it's usually just such small mundane things like, you know, this character believes this, but he ends up doing that. So how does that make sense? And it's like, well, if I take the story here, then that kind of makes sense of, of everything and it kind of wraps up this other thing. And, and so it just, you know, you're very lucky to find something in a story like that, that, that, that fixes things and, and connects other parts of the story to it and all this stuff. And it just came. And, and I think it was because I was meditating and I was trying to not be, you know, actively thinking about anything. I gave the subconscious space to kind of work a thing out. You know, I was actually, I was actually meditating today when that exact phrase came to me that you, you put your convenience and preferences over your friend. Those exact words came to my mind when I was not actively thinking about them. And so there, there is just something to that, that, like your brain is working on stuff whether you're thinking about it or not, you know?
• 1:14:07
  Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that is cool. I'm gonna have to try that with some things. Yeah. He says be great at solving problems with others. Confidence and motivations, what he looks for in people, what do people do with mistakes? And what is the biggest obstacle you've ever had to overcome? What resources did you implore and how did you use them? These are these questions he asked, like, people that are working with him or wanting or interviewing with him. And then, you know. That's a good question. What are your thoughts on changing your emotional profile?
• 1:15:01
  Speaker A: What do you mean by that?
• 1:15:02
  Speaker B: Yeah, right? It's kind of thick. But, dude, I mean, like, I guess it. Like, for me, I look at it, like, almost emotional maturity.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker B: You know, like, I knew some really. I knew a really solid dude.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker A: And.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker B: Emotionally, though, he was just like. Like, he would just come unraveled. Couldn't control his temper. Solid, though. Like, never really got upset. But when he did, like. Like, if his kids messed up, like, he would grab his kids, like, by the arm, like, and, like, shake him, like, are you serious, boy? And you're like, whoa, bro. Like, that's pretty aggressive.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker A: I thought you were gonna say he started punching boxes. No, I knew for half a second I was thinking, like, he's talking about me, and he's gonna say something hilarious here.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker B: But, like, the dude just emotionally couldn't get his TO together, and because of it, lost actual jobs.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker A: Jeez, that's. That's, like, a real problem. I. I have worked on it, and I think. I think I've improved a lot in this area. I don't. You know, I don't. What's the word? Lose my temper. There's. There's, like, a single word for that. I can't remember what it is, but I don't, like, lose my temper like I used to. And I don't, you know, like, immediately jump to defensiveness when my wife is criticizing me and stuff. Like, I've worked. Worked a lot on that kind of stuff, and I think it's. There's a lot of things that have helped me with that. I think meditation has helped me just be more calm in general and just able to kind of step outside a situation and just kind of look at it objectively, you know? Reading the Daily Stoic. I know I recommended that book to you earlier this year. Reading that every day, it's just, like, there's just so much wisdom to learn in this world. And, like, most of stoicism comes down to, like, what are you gonna do when the day doesn't go the way that you planned it?
• 1:17:53
  Speaker B: You know?
• 1:17:55
  Speaker A: And. And also, like, understanding control. I think anger really comes from control. You want to control things you don't, like, when they get out of your control. And you think that by grabbing your kid's arm and shaking them, you're gonna be able to get back control of the situation?
• 1:18:13
  Speaker B: The cardboard boxes?
• 1:18:15
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker A: Let me think about that. Was I trapped? Well, definitely. That definitely happened because the situation had gotten out of my control. Was I punching them to get. Yeah, I guess I was trying to make them feel fit, better. So I was trying. I was literally trying to take back control of the situation. By punching them. Yeah. So, like, understanding that and just accepting, like, what is. What is the phrase in the Serenity prayer that the AA people say where it's like, give me
• 1:18:51
  Speaker B: something to deal with the things I can't. Like, give me the power to change the things I can. And, like, the.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker A: The. And accept the things I can't? Yeah, yeah, that's it. So, yeah, that's actually great wisdom. It's like, there's going to be plenty of things that you're not going to be able to control, except right now that you can only respond to those things. You cannot stop them from happening. You cannot, you know, strong arm your way into a solution. Like, you've. You've got to, you know, think ahead a lot and think of what could go out of control and what you're going to do about it. But, yeah, it's been a pretty holistic thing. I've had to work on my outlook on life. I've had to work on, you know, my thoughts, and I've had to work on, like, wanting wisdom in those moments, and I've had to physically calm myself down. You know, meditation and exercise has relaxed me a lot. You know, so it's just. There's been a lot of things I've had to do to kind of get more emotionally mature and also just, like, accept. You know, there's just lessons that come to you very slowly throughout life. And one thing at a time, just. You can either get really. You can grow into, like, an old, angry person, or you can just become, like, a sweeter, more relaxed person. Like, the more old people I interact with, the more I think that it's really just one of those two things. There's no middle ground there for the most part. You know, like, Patrice o' Neill said this great thing before he died where he was on some talk show and someone asked him about an offensive joke, joke that another comedian had told. And he basically said, like, dude, all jokes are coming from the same place. You're trying to make people laugh and make them feel good, and that's like, an objectively good thing. You know, so when someone says something that offends me, I still have to accept that, like they were not coming from a bad place in it because they were trying to make me laugh or make someone else laugh. And like, just hearing that alone is probably going to change the way you experience someone saying an offensive thing to you jokingly the next time, you know?
• 1:21:25
  Speaker B: Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, I can see that. You have said that before and I've actually repeated that.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker A: Yeah, well, I think, I think it's, I think it's really wise and, you know, it selfishly kind of lets me off the hook when I say something fucked up. But then also, you know, plenty of people say shitty things to me trying to be funny and, you know, just, it's. I'm able to let it roll off my back in a way that I wasn't when I was younger because I'm not as concerned about my image or trying to control my image or what people think of me. You know what I mean?
• 1:22:05
  Speaker B: Yeah. Do you have a plan of how to deal with mistakes and failures? Like, do you, do you know, either one, how do you, how you respond or two, how you would like to respond,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker A: Man. Well, my, my knee jerk reaction is I, I want to solve the mistake first and foremost. So like, whatever comes to me in the moment to fix whatever mistake I just made, I want to rush to that as quickly as possible. You know, I spill wine on your white shirt, I'm gonna, you know, hand you however much that that shirt cost and maybe go offer to buy you a new shirt while we're out so you don't have to wear a stained shirt, you know, but that's, that's kind of all that comes to mind at first. I don't have a lot of thoughts about like, the mentality of failure. I try to take it as information, really. I try. Like if I'm, if I'm thinking clearly, I try to step back and say, what information did I get from that failure? Perfect example, because not that I want to talk about it anymore, but that incident with the barbecue a few weeks ago, that still makes my fucking skin crawl every time I think about it. I try to step out of that and think, what information did I get from that? And it's like, well, maybe instead of when you're fighting with your wife, instead of going out and grilling hamburgers and being absent minded and leaving propane running and not cleaning and not covering and all this stuff, maybe you should deal with conflicts in the moment before you go and try to do something else, you know, like, like that absentmindedness could cause a serious accident one day. You know, like, don't even get in a car under those circumstances if you can help it.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. And what I liked what he said about the, the follow up on what ifs, because so many people live in like, the what ifs. Like the mindset was totally different because what if is defensive. What if this happens? So you're constantly trying to plot a defense, you know, where, like versus, I guess, opposed to, you enter something thinking, okay, if everything goes as planned, like, this is, this is what, like, what's the best case scenario? And then how do we get there, if that makes sense.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker A: Right.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker B: So I did like that because I, I tend to, I, I think more people start in the what if category. Yeah.
• 1:25:29
  Speaker A: And you know, to, to even zoom out of that. It's cynicism. It's. It's negativity and cynicism. You know, like, you can get. I'm gonna try to grab an example out of my ass here. You can get hung up on the fear of someone entering your house or, you know, breaking into your house and trying to hurt you. And you can fear that and have anxiety about it and worry about it every day, or you can get some really good locks, a security system, a gun, a dog. You know, there's a lot of things that you can do to protect against that ahead of time that are positive. You can, you can, you know, you can be positive in your actions and not have to worry so much about the, the worst case scenario.
• 1:26:26
  Speaker B: I know I, I've had this next thing I'm gonna bring up. I'm kind of curious on if you have, have you achieved identity yet?
• 1:26:37
  Speaker A: I don't know. I worry about that because I, I feel about myself and I. And I think other people would probably back me up on this. I get obsessed with like, figures, you know, I get obsessed with David lynch and I start to do things that David lynch did and I get obsessed with Nick Cave and then I start to do things that Nick Cave does, you know, and like, to me, I'm just sort of taking people I admire and emulating things that worked for them. But I think a lot of other people see it as copying or imitating, you know. So like, I've always felt like, you know, up until I was about 25, I always felt like I was kind of trying to be someone else. But I think at, at some point I came to some kind of acceptance of like, who I am. And I'm Just sort of an amalgamation of all these things that I've picked up along the way.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. That's kind for me. I was 40, I was sitting on the patio and I was like, I like who I am. Like, I'm not a bad guy. And my ex, you know, big country was like, I've never heard you say you like who you are. Like, where is this coming from? And I'm like, and that's why I told you. And actually this guy used it. He said, you know, sometimes you, you, you learn who you are by other people because they tell you like, oh, like you're, you're always on time, like, you're a very punctual person. He didn't use these examples, but, like, for me, it was just like, a lot of younger guys were like, dude. Like, hey. They did. They were just like, guys, guys that were in my sphere were like, hey, like, dude, thanks for your help. Or, you know, I wouldn't have done this without you. And so, like, eventually I was just kind of like, I'm not a bad dude. Like, I like who I am. And I felt like I, at that, kind of, at that juncture, knew who I was, you know, He had a quote where he says, you spend your adult life undoing the debris of your childhood.
• 1:29:25
  Speaker A: Yeah. That seems to be the common thread that I've heard in therapy and self help and, and all those things. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what to think about it, though.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker B: I mean, I kind of look at it like you walk into a house full of junk, that's your childhood. And unlike, like, nf, you know, like, we don't enter that room, we don't go into there. You start throwing out, dude, yeah, let's throw it all out. Let's start over. I know a lot of people struggle with their childhood. I don't have a lot of empathy because I'm kind of just like, well, it happened. You can't change it, Move forward. Like, fucking move on. Fuck them. You know, and people don't always function like that. You know, a lot of people want to hold on to it or talk about it or live in it, live by it. I don't know. It's fucking weird.
• 1:30:41
  Speaker A: Yeah, I, I, you know, I think we've talked about this before. No, no, no, it wasn't you. It was. I think the conversation I was having was. Shit, I'm probably not gonna remember, but. Oh, that's what it was. That's what it was. Okay, so I knew these Three people, you knew them too. They went to our old church at Calvary. They were all three from the same orphanage in Mexico, and they'd been adopted by Americans who went to our church. And two of them were brother and sister. The other one was not. But that third one, she blamed everything on the fact that she was abandoned as a child. A memory that she doesn't even have, you know what I mean? And, you know, she was adopted as a. As an infant. She has no memory of being abandoned, and she was adopted by nice Christian parents who spoiled the shit out of her, you know, so, like, I didn't have a lot of empathy for that, that you're blaming, like, a relationship problem that you're having on the fact that you were abandoned as a child and so stuff. And. And I thought to myself that, you know, you're. You're making excuses. And then I thought, you know, maybe knowing it is bad enough, like, maybe just knowing that that happened is, like, bad enough to fuck you up. But then I think that there's just a choice that you gotta make at some point to not let that define you, you know, But. But at the same time, like, I think I had the right amount of trauma as a child where, like, it wasn't great, but it certainly wasn't bad enough to, you know, for it to fuck up my whole life or, you know, anything. And I think I learned pretty early on that, like, adults are just kids that grew up and they don't actually know anything. And like, you gotta kind of figure stuff out for your. Yourself. And maybe, maybe I learned that earlier than it was helpful. But actually, remember, I know I'm. I'm fucking monopolizing this whole podcast, but you're good. I remember this one time the dog had diarrhea all over the carpet and my dad had to clean it up. And he obviously was not thrilled about that. But I remember he walked out with a bottle of Nature's Miracle, which is this pet cleaning stuff for carpets and other surfaces. And he held the bottle up. I'm probably 8 and my sister's 12. And he held the bottle up to us. It's actually funny looking back on it. It's fucked up. But he held it up and he said, you know, technically, this would have to be number one. Jesus would have to be number two to Nature's Miracle because Jesus can't get rid of diarrhea. And however old I was, like 7 or 8, it was the first time that I remember. And I think most people. People have this memory where I. Where I realize, like, I think he's full of. And I think. I think that moment, you know, you just. You're born into a world where you're taught to just believe whatever adults tell you. But I think everyone has a moment at some point where you realize, you know, more than the adult speaking. And, you know, hopefully it's not till 13, because I don't know if it's helpful if you're 7, but. But yeah, that's. That's the moment I remember thinking, like, I think this guy's full of.
• 1:34:55
  Speaker B: And then wouldn't you know, as you got older, you're like, oh, yeah, this guy's full of. Yeah.
• 1:34:59
  Speaker A: As it turns out, Jesus doesn't get rid of diarrhea.
• 1:35:05
  Speaker B: He says experience shapes motivation. That's the last thing I have. So I want to know, can you relate to that? Experience shapes motivation?
• 1:35:19
  Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, in a general sense, yeah. That'd be pretty undeniable. You know, whatever you experience is kind of influencing your later thought and your reason for doing things or not doing things. So, yeah, I'd say pretty easy to agree with that. What do you think?
• 1:35:42
  Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. I mean, I think experience shapes more than just motivation. I think experience shapes your response time, your engagements, how you engage. I think it's all affected by it. Yeah.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker A: Do you have your first memory of like, realizing adults were full of.
• 1:36:09
  Speaker B: No, not specifically. No.
• 1:36:11
  Speaker A: No. It was just sort of a general feeling all along, I think.
• 1:36:16
  Speaker B: So just because, like, big family. Big family, like everybody. A lot of engagements, you know, where people were kind of calling each other out. Yeah, yeah. A lot of, Lot of talking on one another.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I get that. Well, you, you.
• 1:36:50
  Speaker B: But all in all, if. If you guys haven't heard that podcast, check it out.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker A: Yeah, and what was the guy's name? One more time.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker B: Geo Volant Galiente.
• 1:37:02
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's a pretty. It's a pretty recent episode, so if it's not still the most recent, you'll. You'll be able to.
• 1:37:09
  Speaker B: There's. Yes, there's another. No, I don't think there is another one. I just listened to a bunch of older ones.
• 1:37:17
  Speaker A: Yeah, cool.
• 1:37:21
  Speaker B: Yep.
• 1:37:22
  Speaker A: We've been going an hour 40 and you're yawning, so.
• 1:37:26
  Speaker B: Oh, dude, I'm dying, dude. She kept me up again last night, dude. And I'm like, hey, I gotta get up at 3:30. She's like, okay, I just wanna wrestle with you and get all intimate. I'm like, dude, do this quick. I gotta go to sleep.
• 1:37:45
  Speaker A: It's a good problem to have. Trust me.
• 1:37:48
  Speaker B: Yeah, I guess I could be worse off.
• 1:37:55
  Speaker A: All right, man. Well, this has been pseudonyms, and we love you all.
• 1:38:02
  Speaker B: Love you guys.
• 1:38:04
  Speaker A: See you next week.