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The Dog Tag Diva Show- Granny Lisa joins us · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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It's a little little, hey. Little Rock and roll.
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Just a little whoo little Hey Little Rock and roll.
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It's. A kind of whoo.
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Good evening everyone and happy Tuesday.
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Welcome to the Dog Tag Diva Podcast.
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I am excited for my guest this evening, My friend Granny Lisa.
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Pardon the glasses. So I can read and tell you all
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about this wonderful lady here. U.S.
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Army veteran, Mother of two. Granny to four, adopted Granny
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to millions. Published author.
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Leave no veteran behind. So excited fellow podcaster, and
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you can find her on shows such as Best Chatting with Granny
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Lisa, The Leftovers That's Coming Clean, MST Survivor, PTSD
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Survivor, and her motto You are a Warrior.
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It is a great superpower to have in peace and war.
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Mean. I love that.
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That's awesome. Thank you.
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I think it's a true statement. I I think it's a true agree with
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you. Yeah, I mean it serves both, It
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serves both. And then I I think that a lot of
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guys come back feeling almost not embarrassed but maybe
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ashamed to say, you know, because of what they did have to
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do and go through an experience. They don't want to be glamorized
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about it. They're almost like it's not,
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it's not what you're glamorizing it to be towards me.
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And so they just don't say, you know, they kind of keep it down.
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Shit, when actually I think it's something that makes the PTSD
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worse. I think that you acknowledge
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that you are a warrior. You did a good job.
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You may not have liked it or whatever, you know, but I don't
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think that it's something to be completely ashamed of either.
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No, I I agree with you. You know it's it's kind of, I
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mean I don't know about you but when I someone says to me thank
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you for your service. I don't know what to say.
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You know it's a thank you, you know and I I appreciate that.
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I'd rather have somebody say thank you for your service and
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treat me like they did Vietnam Veterans I guess.
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But yeah, I think a lot of people struggle with that
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because look at the end of the day we all take the same oath to
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defend this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic,
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no matter what the cost. And unfortunately, that means we
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have to do some things that are are hard.
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Doing the right thing isn't always the easy thing.
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Sometimes it is the hard thing. And you know, that's one of the
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reasons why I love us having this ability to be podcasters is
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to allow people to share their story.
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Because that's the only way that we all learn and grow, veterans
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and civilians alike, correct? Because they don't know.
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They don't know and. And I think this generation is
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because of the social media and also the social media in the war
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zones. I mean, you can go anywhere and
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see it on YouTube. I mean, there's just so much
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more access to what these guys are going through.
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And so that's not really been shown.
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I mean, it did in World War 2 to a point.
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It was staged, a lot of it. And then later the reels of war
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were shown, but Vietnam started. But then they had to really pull
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back because of the public. And, you know, I was mesmerized
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when we went after Saddam Hussein.
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I mean, that was you're seeing the bombs drop, how the pilots
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are flying, you know? And so was it good for the
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public? I don't know because now it's,
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it's all this. It was like a Hollywood movie,
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but it was real life. I I mean, I stayed up for like
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all night, one time, just concentrating, trying to figure
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out what their next move is going to be, what's going to
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happen next, you know? Yeah, I I I agree with you.
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Like I don't know how. I think in one respect it's a
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good thing. So because people have an
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understanding of what it's like and you know what you know what
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you go through when you're deployed and but at the same
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time, I think there's so much access, but does it kind of open
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a space for conversation? I I think that's important.
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For. Us to have, you know, compassion
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and empathy for the struggle that is, you know, being a, you
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know, military service member, whether you're retired or active
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and all that comes along with it.
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You know, it's kind of like children, right?
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You know, I'm a big believer in telling kids the truth, but
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making it age appropriate and helping them understand and
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process whatever is going on. I know there's a section, you
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know, of parents, grandparents that are like, no, no, just lie.
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Tell them the dog went to the farm.
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Like, no. Like, kids understand and know
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what's going on. They may not be able to
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verbalize exactly what's going on, but they know something's
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not right. And the images and ideas they
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conjure in their head are probably going to be far worse
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than if you actually sit them down and say, this is what's
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going on. What questions do you have are
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going to support you through it? And, you know, I'm a big
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proactive person, and I'm not naive enough to think that I'm
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not going to get deployed again. Like, I know there's a very real
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possibility that I'm going to get deployed again.
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And my husband and I went to a marriage retreat a couple months
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ago and they had a specific meeting, breakfast, meeting for
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all military members and their spouses.
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And it was really nice to kind of connect with that community.
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But they had a couple of books there geared towards kids
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talking about like, you know, your service member went off to
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war, what to expect, what they may be like when they come back,
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how you can help them when they come back.
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And my son is an adult, but I have a niece who's nine months
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and a nephew who is 5 1/2. So I might as well take these
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now and be proactive because in the event that you get deployed,
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most likely wet, most likely wet, not if.
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Yeah. You know my brother and
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sister-in-law to say, hey, these might help you help them explain
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exactly where Zia is and what I'm doing and why I'm all jacked
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up when I come back. Exactly.
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But yeah, I think that, you know, I've always been very big
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with children. That's how I started Granny
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Lisa. I was doing children's stories
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on YouTube and no Facebook life and it just changed into this
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veteran and I've been having fun and also became even more of an
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advocate in wanting to speak up, hear be an ear, be a granny to
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these veterans. And H doesn't seem to have a
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number with it because I have 85 year old men calling me granny,
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you know, to, you know, young men calling me granny.
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And it's it's I take it as a compliment because I want to be
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the granny that I've always wanted to be.
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And so it's kind of like a calling.
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But I just didn't know that the two would intertwine and and a
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lot of other avenues have opened up in doing that too.
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Is connecting with other veterans like yourself and
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especially a female veteran that we get to learn from different
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errors of, you know, what we've experienced and what has women
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veterans we still experience still to this day.
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And it's not just in the military.
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I mean, it happens all over the world, but the only thing is, is
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that in the military you have a very hard time of escaping.
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You can't just not go to work the next day.
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You can't just say I'm moving and you're out of there, you
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know, there's very big consequences for that.
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But. So I'm not discounting the
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civilian side either. But there's a lot of things that
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need to finally be shared. No judgement, compassion and
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love. And sometimes they just need to
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talk and hear. It's OK.
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I love you. You're going to be fine.
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I appreciate you sharing. What else do you think You know?
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And. And I am no counselor.
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I will never, ever claim to be a counselor.
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I claim to be a granny. I ask questions.
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I give. I don't know.
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Sometimes I think I'm giving good advice, but I want the
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healing to be able to come to these guys and gals and open the
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door to both sides and know that nobody knows a veteran like
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another veteran. And our community has really,
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really just outgrown on social media.
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I did not realize how many organizations that are started
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by veterans and different places that you can go to get help.
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It's amazing and I'm very proud that I could be a part of that.
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Yeah, I I think that's amazing too.
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With, you know, social media, I think is a blessing and a curse.
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I think it's ruined social grace.
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There's nobody's going to tell me any different.
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It's totally ruined social grace.
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I have two friends who are single and it's a hot mess.
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It's just a mess. But it does allow for a lot of
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connection. And even, you know, just here in
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the state of Florida where I am, I just started following a few
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sites and wound up meeting and I don't know if you know her,
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Rachelle Smith, she has a podcast called Silence Voices
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and it's all about military sexual trauma and I have her on
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my podcast. So we've been helping each other
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promote each other's podcast and support each other.
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Really just amazing. And actually, just today, one of
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the Facebook sites that I follow for veterans here in Florida,
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someone posted for women veterans only.
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They're hosting retreats for women veterans in the state of
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North Carolina, in the state of New Hampshire.
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And they're completely free for women veterans.
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And I thought, oh, this is great, I'm jumping on this, Send
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me some info. Because if I can't go, I
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definitely know some people who I could send this information to
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to get them there. It's all about the networking.
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And you're in Texas and I know you haven't been there long.
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And so I'd love to get your thoughts on this.
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So I came here from New Jersey, and one of the things that I
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found as I began advocating for homeless female veterans is that
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I was finding things out and drips and drabs.
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There are resources for veterans in general in the state.
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It's going to vary based on what state you're in, but I feel as
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though there may be resources out there, but the states do a
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really bad job of putting that information out there.
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What? Like what are your thoughts?
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I know you're new to Texas, but what have you found, where you
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came from and where you are now? OK.
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I can't answer for Texas because I have not stepped out, but in
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Montana I can say that it's it's really I have not found one
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that's got anything for specifically women that's
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homeless. The thing that we I was told
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whether it's the truth or not that if any veterans came in and
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that we're homeless in the city that I lived in they would give
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them a a night stay in a hotel and then have them leave.
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And that was whether it was women with children it it didn't
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didn't have anything set up for the vets.
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They would always say go into Billings at which is the main
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portal. You know the VA hospital is up
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further, but Billings is the clinic and you can find more for
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women vets outside of the veteran facilities and supposed
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VA help in Montana. It's really bad.
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Yeah. I and I think, I mean not even
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and not even just with specifically homeless female
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veterans, but I think in terms of like resources in general for
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veterans. I think there are some things
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there. But I just don't think the
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states are really publicizing like all the resources that are
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available. I'm like wait a minute.
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So I I lived in New Jersey like I said and every year there was
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like a four, like a teachers conference, 2 days teachers
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conference in Atlantic City. And the kids, we were all off
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from school and like it was a big statewide thing.
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I said OK, teachers, interesting education and support, Totally
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OK with that. Why aren't we doing this on a
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level for our veterans? Like honestly like let's have
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like a two day conference in Atlantic City or Philadelphia or
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pick a big city and make a big announcement.
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Like if you offer services to veterans, if you offer
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resources, if you want to help veterans, you're a nonprofit who
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helps veterans. Let's just have a big two day
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conference and put all the information out there.
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I can't possibly be the only person that's thinking of this,
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right? No, but they.
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Happen, Granny Lee. So.
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Well, I can't say exactly, but they did have a military
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conference. Internet military.
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I could be wrong, and if I am, I'm so sorry.
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I think it's called MIC Conference.
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It's a yearly conference and it brings all different kinds from
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all over the world on veterans coming in and they do every kind
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of promotion of nonprofits, what they can do, how they do it.
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It's just amazing. On that one conference, I wasn't
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able to attend, but I did see some videotape to where even
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Hollywood was visiting. There's a lot of actually a lot
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of people don't realize there's a lot of Hollywood actors that
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are veterans. And so, you know, you can
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usually get some support or non support if you're in the biz of,
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you know, like nonprofits and stuff like that.
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These are the conferences that are your connection lines and
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they do have them, but they don't.
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I know what you're talking about.
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You're talking about just strictly networking.
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Everybody set up a tent, Here you are.
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And then everybody go see everybody.
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And here's what we have to offer if you need it.
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I will say that definitely we need more work in the homeless
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female veteran arena. I mean, they're the fastest
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rising population of homeless in the country, more than civilian
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women and more than their veteran male.
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Counterparts. And not that it's a problem, but
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70% of homeless female veterans are single mothers.
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And that brings another pot of logistics that we have to take
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care of. Like we have to get kids to
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school, we have to get kids immunizations and healthcare.
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And you know, depending on what state you're in, like you came
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from Montana, which I'm sure has much more rural areas, getting
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veterans to the services that they need.
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If they don't have transportation or they can't
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drive, like how do we logistically figure out
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transportation And well, so there's a lot, you know, a lot
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of work that can be done. And I think that's one of the
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reasons why we love doing our podcast.
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It's just getting people connected.
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I don't need this resource, but I know this resource exists.
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And you know, exactly giving people that space to tell their
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story. And I think that's really
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amazing. You know, giving giving our
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Vietnam Veterans the respect that they so deserve.
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I mean, I don't. I met a bunch of Vietnam nurses
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a few years ago and I was like, I'm never going to be that bad
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ass. It doesn't matter before I try.
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I'm never going to be like. That's what really I think is
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the generational break when family started having to be
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separated, you know, both parents working.
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Being house kids, you know, let themselves in and by themselves,
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or going to daycares, being raised by somebody else,
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schools, whatever. That generational pride in
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country, pride in oneself, you know, general manners of, you
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know, respecting the fact that that old woman that's crossing
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the street, that's got a limp, could have landed 20 years ago
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and it's now 30 years later on an EUD and she can't function.
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And you're going to sit there and say, why doesn't she just
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move faster? Why is she blocking traffic?
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Just get out of my way. Why are you taking so long?
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You know, there's a lot of people that say these things.
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OK, I'm, I'm experienced. But I think that's when it
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started breaking down. That used to be able to kind of
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give a little bit of leeway. I know there's the danger zone.
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Don't let me. I'm not saying don't have that.
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But you know, just caring, the compassion because we don't know
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what that person's been through until we hear their story.
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And that's what they just want to tell you.
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I mean, don't we all like to tell our story?
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I mean, seriously, come on, you know, especially the funny
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parts, you know, to get everybody laughing and like, Oh
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yeah, I'm so cool. You know, we all like to tell
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our stories, even though the painful ones, you may not want
21:49
to hear. And our Vietnam vets, they
21:53
already know that. They know that deep in their
21:56
soul that was singed many, many sins ago.
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And it's sad. I mean, my cousin, he was in
22:08
Vietnam. I still don't know what he did,
22:13
what he experienced. I just know he was in the Air
22:16
Force. So, you know, I kind of make fun
22:20
of them for that. But come on, that was Vietnam.
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You can't tell me that no service didn't experience
22:26
something. He, I'm sure he wasn't in a Kush
22:29
office and you know, having his beer every night and coming back
22:34
to work, you know, that's not a true statement.
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But he's he's never really talked to me about it knowing
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that I am a veteran. They don't do it.
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I know. And it's we need to give them
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that space to tell their story, because I think it's really,
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it's really important now what years were you in the service?
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I was in. I went first National Guard, so
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I started that in 1980, went through base and all that and
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went back to National Guard and missed it.
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I love the whole structure of the military.
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I liked knowing where I was going when I was getting up,
23:19
when I was going to eat. I loved it because my childhood
23:24
was no structure at all. It was complete opposite Horror
23:29
Story. So I thrived in that community
23:36
of, you know, you got each other's back.
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You know, we're going to do this together.
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Totally into that. So I went back active and my
23:50
first duty station was at Fort Jackson, Colorado, and I was 18.
24:02
Never left the, you know, except for basic, came back, never left
24:07
the state of Oregon. So I'm green behind the ears, no
24:13
idea what real life is outside a small town.
24:18
And you know, I started my life. I met my former husband in the
24:30
military. He was about ready to get out.
24:32
So I got transferred to Korea and we were able to re enlist
24:39
him in to going to Korea with me, which was a rarity.
24:44
Most people go single, no families are really allowed
24:48
except for officers and I think that's only so many.
24:53
But so we were blessed to be able to go to Korea together.
24:59
Got pregnant, had my son there in Korea and went from Korea to
25:08
Fort Lewis WA. Did the rest of my time and in
25:13
November of 84 I got out and LED a whole different life of upside
25:24
downs, right sides left sides. Was not prepared not prepared at
25:31
all. And with the MST that incurred
25:39
and prior abuses, I I just did not Nobody talked about First
25:49
off mental health and I had never heard the word PTSD.
25:56
Never. It wasn't until I was filing a
26:01
claim that somebody had said, oh, you're filing for PTSD.
26:06
And I said, no, I'm filing because of this.
26:11
And they're like, right, PTSD. I was like, OK, whatever.
26:18
Well, it was denied. I mean, it's taken me.
26:22
That was I was 26 and I'm 61 now.
26:27
So I got my benefits last year. I think that you were in during
26:37
a time period and you can correct me if I'm wrong.
26:40
It's just things are different now than they were back then.
26:44
I think it's better. I think we still have some work
26:47
to do, but I definitely think we're better 'cause we're better
26:51
than we were even in the 60s and 70s, right back then, women who
26:55
joined the military were not allowed to have children.
26:58
If you did get pregnant, you had to get out of the service or
27:00
give your baby up for adoption. So we've definitely moved beyond
27:03
that and now so male non veteran spouses can get are entitled to
27:09
benefits as long as like I said the spouses were married and
27:13
that is something that Ruth Bader Ginsburg fought for for US
27:17
women to have our non military spouses be entitled to our
27:21
benefits. So each generation gets a little
27:25
bit better. So aside from the the trauma
27:30
that you've experienced, how what were the good things that
27:33
you got out of your time and service?
27:35
Oh, I I can go on about it. Well, life experience, let's put
27:41
it that way. I got to see so many different
27:47
beautiful places that a lot of people can only dream of.
27:52
I really wanted to go to Germany.
27:54
I really wanted to go to Germany, but I went to Korea and
27:59
we actually made the best of it. We went travelling when we had
28:04
time. We lived off base and so I had
28:11
several Mama sons when I was pregnant and and learned a lot
28:18
about their their culture. I had an off post midwife from
28:25
the Red Cross has my caretaker while I was pregnant and so it
28:34
was. It was interesting and I would
28:39
not have traded it for anything if it had to happen exactly.
28:44
Has it had to happen, I would still do it again and.
28:49
I'm going to show this picture. I love this little picture.
28:54
I was like, Oh my gosh, I found it.
28:58
Oh my God, that picture is so great.
29:01
That was 18, yes. I don't want.
29:04
To be that young again. Oh, I was a firecracker back
29:09
then. Oh, I tell you, I had a you're.
29:13
So a firecracker now, Granny? No, I'm not.
29:20
Oh, you're funny. But yeah, I, I, I was a
29:24
firecracker. I was, I was naive but about
29:30
life outside of a small town. But I had so much fun.
29:37
I mean, I didn't do a lot of drinking.
29:41
I had quit smoking. So you know, what was left is
29:45
to, you know what's around you, the culture, and and learn about
29:51
the beauty of it and the different food.
29:55
I tell you, I gained so much weight with my pregnancy there.
30:00
The Koreans, the Koreans, they well, OK at the time it was
30:06
taboo for the Korean women to show themselves pregnant.
30:09
They generally stayed in bed the entire time they were pregnant.
30:14
So here I am, 5, seven and a half.
30:17
OK. I came into the neighborhood,
30:20
you know, not as tiny as the Korean women, but I wasn't
30:24
overweight, you know, I was in good shape.
30:29
I started getting to where I was, 300 pounds £300 this 57, a
30:37
half woman coming up in these maternity clothes that were
30:42
stretched to the beam. And I'm sure they were really
30:46
attractive for the 80 grades. Oh my gosh, they were.
30:50
Oh, they were itchy. And of course, you know, the
30:53
belly wasn't covered all the way.
30:56
The pants didn't go up all the way.
30:58
Forget trying to find panty. So you had this white strip of
31:03
your belly hanging out that you're constantly trying to pull
31:06
down with this polyester. Stupid smock.
31:11
Yeah, it was. It was.
31:13
I was a great sight to see, besides the fact that I
31:17
overtowered and overweighed everybody and I would have this
31:22
little Korean man. They had concrete cut steps and
31:27
it was 2 levels. So I'd be going up downstairs
31:32
and you would see the women gathering along the side and
31:37
they would be just as Yup, Yup, Yup, Yup.
31:40
And I'd be looking, you know. Hello.
31:44
Keep going. And what's that little man?
31:46
The next flight of stairs he come, ran and down that he had
31:51
to be in his 60s. He come, ran and down downstairs
31:55
and he'd hold out his arm for me.
31:57
And I thought, Oh my gosh, Lord, please don't let me fall back on
32:02
these stairs. I'll kill this man.
32:03
I mean, I don't. Keep able to hold me up.
32:08
If I fall, he's going with me and I'm going to squish him on
32:12
the way down. But he did not know English.
32:18
And I course only knew a little bit of a Korean soul.
32:24
You know, it was, it was quite the sight, but it was really
32:29
cool because these same people, after I had him, they would be
32:35
right there and, you know, wanting to see my son.
32:39
And it was, it was a great experience, it really was.
32:44
And I made friends. I just, it wasn't the thing
32:50
though to really share, you know, like people now, you know,
32:55
with the social media. I wish we had that.
32:57
Then you know how people are with writing letters now.
33:02
It was still the same then, You know, it was only the ones that
33:05
really were love to write letters, got letters from.
33:10
But you know, I made some wonderful friends, people that
33:15
inspired me, You know, all these other 18 year old women, you
33:22
know, young girls were all getting together and you know
33:27
what's you were, what you were brought up this way.
33:31
Oh, you believe that way? Wow, that's really awesome.
33:35
You know how to do that. You know, I had a girl from
33:41
Kentucky, and I tell you what she was a redhead freckled.
33:48
She could. I think she just barely passed
33:52
the height test and the weight test.
33:55
But I tell you what, that girl knew how to twirl rifles, I
34:02
mean, and she could do that, she said.
34:06
I learned that in high school. You know, I'm like, OK, I mean,
34:11
but I you would not have expect I'd never seen it, you know?
34:16
But yeah, level of friendship and camaraderie that you just
34:19
can't get anywhere else. I mean, it sounds like family
34:22
and friends know that my friends are military.
34:23
If I call them all by their last name, like, oh, they must be a
34:26
military. And.
34:27
Like, it's bizarre for me for, you know, me to call like my
34:31
friend Gomez. He's my battle buddy.
34:33
We we became friends in Afghanistan and we're still
34:36
friends. And now we work at the same
34:37
hospital together. And people call him Anthony.
34:40
And I'm like, who? Yeah, who is?
34:42
That. No Gomez.
34:45
Yeah, come. On he's like, where are you?
34:47
Like, what are you doing this week?
34:48
And I'm like, oh, I'm going to Gomez.
34:50
He's like, oh cool. No problem.
34:55
I know who that is. I mean, it is.
34:57
It's a whole different culture and.
35:01
It's the shared appreciation for the socks.
35:05
Yeah, and but it it can be also a very it's life, it's
35:12
everywhere. There's just different avenues
35:15
you have to take in different places.
35:19
Like I'm sure in New Jersey you would probably say, hey, while
35:23
you're in New Jersey, Lisa, don't ever do this, you know?
35:27
Or if you do, this is how you handle it.
35:30
You know, you don't go in and order a New York pizza and, you
35:34
know, or whatever. I don't know.
35:37
But it's kind of like that difference from the military to
35:43
civilian life. There's just that thing that you
35:47
just kind of don't talk about, and those are the things that
35:55
are causing the heartache. Does that make sense?
35:59
Yes. So what advice do you have for
36:02
young women today join in the military to kind of propel them
36:07
through their military career? OK, I would say if you are a
36:15
female wanting to get into the military today, do your
36:21
research. OK, First off you need to know.
36:26
Agree. You need to know what you
36:30
exactly want to do. It's kind of like going to
36:34
college. You got to have an idea of what
36:37
you want to become when you finish college.
36:40
It's the same thing with the military.
36:43
Do not just go in and accept the word.
36:46
Forgive me, my friends that were recruiters, but do not just go
36:53
in and just hear the glamorized story of this particular job
37:00
that you can do. As women, you have a unique
37:06
position in the military and it's something that I think is
37:11
of value. I have been told Nope, it's not.
37:15
But I think it is that women bring compassion back to the
37:22
hardness of the military. It gives because we are
37:28
separate. There's men and women.
37:31
I don't care if you're transgender.
37:33
Men and women, I don't care. I don't care if there's men and
37:36
women. Each role has a significant part
37:42
in the other. And so when you have a job that
37:47
you want to do, and it's a very competitive job within the men's
37:52
world, OK, let's say you want to become a sniper, You can, but
37:59
you got to understand the skill set, the mindset and what you're
38:04
going to be dealing with because it's going to be men based and
38:09
they want to make sure that you're going to be ready for
38:13
that job. Does that make sense?
38:16
Just like you're trying out for volleyball, they're going to
38:20
make sure. So it's your responsibility to
38:23
have an idea of what you want to do.
38:26
It'll make a huge difference in your career.
38:30
Now, can you change your mind? Yes.
38:33
Can you go a different way? Yes.
38:35
Do you have the security of the military to do that with?
38:39
Yes. That's why I think that every 18
38:44
year old after high school should join the military for two
38:47
years. Automatic.
38:49
I don't. I know, I'm weird.
38:52
I agree with you. I've been accused of that also,
38:55
but I think because one, it gives them a safety net to be
39:00
able to explore what you do want to do in the future.
39:03
You're getting paid to be trained, yes.
39:06
Are you being trained to be a warrior?
39:09
You're darn right you are. And you're going to do that job
39:12
just the way you're going to be told to.
39:15
Otherwise you won't survive. But that's life outside of the
39:18
military, too. So you're going to gain so much
39:21
as a female in strength, Integrity.
39:27
Why do I say integrity? Because how you hold yourself is
39:31
how you're going to be respected.
39:34
Will things happen to you? People try to cross your
39:37
boundaries. Yes, they will.
39:39
You better know your boundaries before you go in.
39:42
What you're willing to accept and what you're willing not to.
39:46
Another piece of ice. If you use your sexuality to try
39:51
to get ahead and move ahead with your superiors, you are only
39:56
part of the problem. You will not help us, other
40:01
females that are trying to be in a work environment without any
40:06
kind of sexual innuendos or encouraging sexual advances.
40:12
That kind of If you want to do that, you don't belong in the
40:16
military. I'm sorry, but I do not believe
40:20
that any woman that's trying to get in to use their sexuality to
40:25
get ahead, go out because you're hurting other women, and if you
40:31
don't understand that, well, you're the one that has to
40:36
answer at the end. But I suggest that you
40:40
investigate, figure out what you want to do, and then go for it.
40:46
Yeah, don't take no for an answer.
40:48
Keep going. Yeah, Amen is all I have to say
40:51
to that is do your research, number one, and know who you are
40:54
before you go in. And that is how you carry
40:56
yourself accordingly and uphold yourself to the highest levels
41:01
of honor, integrity and courage. Because it does make a
41:04
difference it. Absolutely does make a
41:06
difference and we have to look out for each other because if
41:10
we're not doing it for each other and nobody else is going
41:12
to do it. That's why I'm saying it's like,
41:15
don't encourage that kind of behavior.
41:18
I think it's nice to be fun. There's a difference and we all
41:23
know that difference. I don't have to go into detail,
41:26
but, you know, like if I see you struggling, I see somebody
41:31
harassing you, We got to have integrity towards each other to
41:37
be able to do that and, you know, be there for you and be
41:42
that person to, you know, stand by your side.
41:47
Agreed. You know.
41:48
And that's that's what the special ingredient that women do
41:52
have. I just think it's a lost art at
41:57
this point in a lot of our young women.
42:00
And so one great way to kind of help women and get that
42:05
information out there is I'm going to talk about.
42:07
I'm going to talk about this little thing over here.
42:09
I know it's hard to see the picture, but I want to talk
42:12
about your book, Leave no veteran behind.
42:14
I think that's a perfect segue to talk about this.
42:17
I'm so I'm excited. Once I'm done more college, I'm
42:20
going to read it. I love to read.
42:22
There it is. Yay, I got it.
42:25
I got it. So when did this?
42:27
Begin How did you get involved? Tell me all the things about the
42:30
book. This is exciting.
42:32
OK, I was approached by Daniel Faust.
42:35
He's him. And Robert Jones decided to put
42:41
this collaboration together. They're both, oh, shoot.
42:48
I think Robert Jones, he has a company that's transformation
42:53
for not just civilians, but for veterans.
42:57
He's got a big heart and a program for and helping them
43:01
have a voice. He's an advocate and also Daniel
43:06
Faust. He is a public speaker.
43:10
He does all of these things for veteran events.
43:13
So he asked 12 of us veterans. I was one of the ones that was
43:18
blessed to write a chapter and it had to be about leave no
43:26
veteran behind. But what your experiences were,
43:31
and I think I'm maybe the second oldest in here, or the oldest.
43:40
And so all twelve of us have had different experiences, different
43:44
lessons, different ranks, but they've all gotten a lesson.
43:50
And I'll go ahead And I should have marked this before I
43:56
started, but I didn't. But I'm Chapter 8.
44:01
Yay. And I'll read you a little
44:05
teaser because I was told that the best part was the beginning
44:10
of my chapter. It kind of put them in.
44:15
Oh, it doesn't say the page. OK, just says Chapter 8.
44:21
OK, well, I knew that. OK, here we go.
44:25
Are you ready? I'm ready.
44:27
I'm excited. OK, so sharing the Pain by
44:32
Granny Lisa Craft. It was just starting to rain in
44:36
the forested area of Fort Jackson, SC when I heard the
44:42
words YOU FAILED. Walking past the long line of
44:48
fellow soldiers waiting to pass their final physical test PT
44:53
test, I held back the tears thinking I will have to complete
44:59
basic training again. All because I couldn't do 13 min
45:04
push ups. I excelled at every task in boot
45:08
camp and won special rewards for doing so.
45:12
I shot expertly. I could hit targets with every
45:16
weapon given me, yet I couldn't do a push up. 18 years old with
45:22
a horrible past and the military was my only hope of a bright
45:27
future. What does a young woman do now?
45:32
We will get back to this in a moment.
45:36
That's awesome. I love it.
45:40
I love it. So what was it like writing that
45:44
for you? Well, I have to say it was
45:48
edited quite a few times because after, you know, there's a point
45:58
and I think maybe people would with MST might understand where
46:06
the little bit of cracks in my writing are.
46:13
That's how somebody else described it.
46:15
It was cracks. Your cracks are showing in your
46:18
writing. And I'm like, is that a good
46:21
thing or that? And they said it was a good
46:27
thing and that other other survivors would understand.
46:32
Anybody with trauma would understand the cracks that are
46:36
happening. But I lost my mind to talk, but
46:42
I just I what was the question again?
46:47
What was it like right before you were talking about cracks in
46:49
your legs? Yes.
46:51
So it was sent back to the editor quite a few times because
46:56
he wanted more. He wanted more in depth and and
47:02
it was something that, I mean, I've always talked about the MST
47:09
but never public. And you know like even my kids
47:14
didn't even know what the details were.
47:19
In fact my son because see we as survivors, it's it's like a
47:27
point to you where you it's just nonchalant.
47:29
We don't think of it as a big deal.
47:31
You know, it's it's just part of our life, right.
47:36
And so I never realized that I never talked to my kids about
47:40
it. They're adults now.
47:42
And he read it and he was like, he comes in and he goes, mom,
47:49
why didn't you ever say anything?
47:54
I mean, and he's clearly upset that this had happened to me and
48:01
he didn't know about it. And I'm like, well, just I never
48:07
thought about it. I just never thought about it.
48:09
So putting it to writing, when he kept saying dig deeper, dig
48:15
deeper, you know, it was difficult.
48:20
But I came to a point after some good counseling that somebody
48:28
needs to be honest, somebody needs to explain so that maybe
48:37
people that are going through it and don't realize what you do
48:43
when you're going through it is normal that you're not just some
48:49
weirdo. And I have in there a lot of
48:53
good tips, which I don't know if I should give away right now.
49:01
But anyway, I I may, I don't know, but there's there's a lot
49:06
of my life experiences, a lot of the I feel that women need to
49:16
come together and talk about it and people need to understand,
49:23
especially in the military, you there's a so many more avenues
49:28
that are dangerous that you know gets passed along with you.
49:36
Records get lost. You know, hate to say it, but
49:41
even a few women have been killed lately because of MST.
49:47
So it's a subject that, yes, we've got better avenues than I
49:52
did. And how I was treated was the
49:56
norm. I don't know if it's changed
50:00
that much, but I know that there's a lot more access on
50:03
what to do from the military than there was when I was
50:08
because I was in the era of women should not be in the
50:14
military, so. And how did you feel when once
50:19
it was all said and done, all the edits were done and they
50:22
were like, all right, we're sending it to print.
50:24
How did you feel afterwards? We also anxiety.
50:29
You know what? I wasn't sure because we never
50:32
got to read what was sent to be print.
50:37
We never got to read the editors last, you know, changes or
50:41
recommendations, whatever. We didn't have time to do that
50:45
or something. I can't remember.
50:47
But so I I just read it. I was like wow, oh, OK.
50:56
I could see where they changed the wording here and there, you
50:59
know, grammical. But yeah, it was the same story.
51:03
So it's going to be what was it? Like when like you got the book
51:08
and you open the page and saw your chapter in there.
51:11
What was that like? You know what?
51:13
It's unreal. Because you must.
51:14
Have been So is the real. It is because I don't want to
51:20
get emotional during my childhood as I always wanted to
51:27
be a writer. I loved writing stories and I
51:34
was completely not allowed to even dream such a dream.
51:41
And so once I got out of that situation, I still held on to
51:49
that and I I I would write stories as an adult and things.
51:54
So to be asked, I was really shocked because I quit school in
52:01
9th. I did not attend 10th grade, so
52:03
9th grade was my last year's school and I had so many
52:10
learning disabilities. Like I had numbers and things
52:15
like that. So I wasn't very confident in my
52:19
writing skills. I had the ideas if I could tell
52:23
the stories perfect, but to write them down to where they
52:27
made sense? No way.
52:31
So when I got this and saw my name on there, it was One of the
52:43
things that I've always dreamed of is writing a story.
52:48
I didn't think it would be about my experiences, but it's 61.
52:55
I have lived a life of happiness, pain, suffering,
53:01
loneliness. My husband was one of the 22, so
53:11
writing a little bit of maybe some granny advice out there to
53:19
help, another veteran says, oh wow, yeah, I know that.
53:23
Oh, yeah, OK, We're not alone. We can unite.
53:28
We can. We can get this back to a world.
53:34
Hopefully that can be just nice. Is that too much?
53:42
I I know, I I agree with you. I say the same thing all the
53:45
time. Like why can't we just get
53:48
along? And that's one of the reasons
53:49
why I have the podcast is because I only want to put good
53:54
information out there. I only want to put you know, the
53:57
mission and vision of the podcast of the dog tag diva is
54:01
education, motivation and inspiration.
54:05
And. I think your story is amazing.
54:08
I mean, it's wonderful. Like you never gave up on your
54:10
dream and you made it happen, took you a long time to get
54:14
there, but you still did it. And I think that's a great
54:17
message to send to everyone, no matter what your age is, is
54:21
don't be afraid to try to achieve something.
54:26
Oh, yes. There's no timetable on anything
54:29
and. There isn't.
54:30
I mean, if you look at the fact that has an older woman, OK, I
54:39
still have the mind of that young 18 year old girl that just
54:48
wants to sass back and say, yeah, let's let's, let's do it.
54:52
You know, I I mean, I still have it in here and now has a granny.
55:00
I can let it out, you know, Nobody's going to think it's
55:03
strange because I'm a granny. That's what grannies do, right?
55:06
They have that, like, I don't care.
55:09
They could say pretty much what they feel with love and
55:13
compassion, but you can get away with it now, so I like that
55:19
privilege. Well, and what a legacy to leave
55:22
for your children and your grandchildren is showing them
55:26
that you never give up. And you didn't let your
55:28
disabilities hold you back, and you didn't let you know your
55:32
upbringing hold you back. You just didn't let anything
55:35
stop you. You just kept moving forward and
55:38
you kept trying and you just never gave up.
55:41
And I think that's it's amazing. And you've parlayed it into
55:45
writing and now you're also giving other people a voice as
55:49
well. And you've got your leftovers.
55:53
No, veteran, I can't. I have to put my glasses on.
55:57
I apologize. Leftovers.
56:00
Not what we want. Yes, yes, it's it's.
56:06
I have a friend. Her husband was a National Guard
56:12
and he committed suicide. OK, so I was talking to Mike
56:21
Madison. He's a big advocate for
56:24
veterans. And I was telling him about my
56:26
idea about doing a podcast about veteran suicide and what the
56:32
people of that person that killed themselves is leftover
56:38
with. And it is a very adult themed,
56:44
we would let you know if it's child appropriate, but it's very
56:49
adult themed, outspoken, truthful, from the heart.
56:55
And I was challenged by another gentleman in the National Guard
57:01
that to do a series for our National Guardsmen to be able to
57:08
have access to so that their suicide rate could possibly go
57:14
down. So that's what started it and it
57:20
is a 12 series once a month on Tuesday nights, I mean Friday
57:26
nights and I think it's 6:00 mountains.
57:32
No, I'm Central Standard Time now, so it's Central Time and so
57:41
me and Peggy, she is the civilian wife of her National
57:48
Guard husband who committed suicide.
57:50
Her 16 year old son joins us. He was the one that found his
57:55
dad and was with him and took his pulse to.
58:01
His story is inspirational on how the Lord has helped that
58:07
young man and the other son. But Becky is a like we call her
58:13
the Canadian bacon. She's from Canada.
58:17
She moved to be AUS citizen with her husband.
58:21
And so we talked about the shitty side.
58:26
Pardon my, my cursing of what widows or widowers and family
58:33
members and friends have to deal with after someone commits
58:38
suicide. And if that doesn't make a a
58:42
picture in itself, we draw it pretty well.
58:46
We draw the emotions, we draw the anger there.
58:51
You know, everybody says their steps to grief, right, Misters,
58:56
Right. So, you know, I think we go way
59:01
into detail because suicide has that other part of it's
59:08
unexpected, you know, like probably accidents.
59:11
But it's different than if you know your husband's going to die
59:16
or your wife is going to die. You're preparing yourself.
59:19
You don't prepare yourself for suicide, OK?
59:23
No spouse is prepared for it. So, you know, we talk about
59:30
everything, every little inch of it.
59:32
We don't leave anything out. And I think that's amazing and I
59:36
think it's important. And where can people hear this
59:39
podcast again? Oh, it's on our Facebook page.
59:42
It's called The Leftovers. Yeah, the leftovers.
59:48
That's what it's called. I was going to do the little ad
59:51
and I'm like, no, no, that's not.
59:54
It's called The Leftovers on Facebook.
59:56
And you can also find us. We have everything because I got
1:00:01
a website. I'm with my friends and so we
1:00:06
are all together on what's coming clean that's coming
1:00:11
clean.com that's where you could find all of our podcast because
1:00:16
I also Co host on that's coming clean which you were of guest on
1:00:24
I was. And I was just putting that
1:00:26
website in the chat so that when people watch and listen later,
1:00:30
they can also find it there. But yes, you and Peggy have a
1:00:33
your little podcast as well and. Oh yeah.
1:00:37
Well, see, and that's the thing. This is what I'm loving, is that
1:00:41
all of us women, we didn't have to be told.
1:00:43
Let's start talking. Let's start connecting.
1:00:47
We just started doing this right and we're trying to bring in
1:00:51
more and more women. And you know, it's it's a
1:00:55
process. But you know, there is so many
1:00:59
good veteran organizations out there for you women and also for
1:01:05
you men. I don't know where our time is,
1:01:09
but what time are we? We're coming to.
1:01:13
We're coming to a close of our podcast for this evening.
1:01:16
Granny Lisa, you were a joy and a pleasure to have on the show
1:01:21
this evening. Let's have you back on again and
1:01:23
we'll talk more. All things veterans and military
1:01:27
and writing. And we may need to do a
1:01:29
collaboration, 'cause I want to write a children's book and I
1:01:32
think this might be you might be a good person.
1:01:36
I can hook you up with people. That would be so cool.
1:01:40
I do want to say one thing if I can before we go.
1:01:43
Absolutely you can. OK, this is the holiday season.
1:01:46
I realize that this is also a very difficult season for those
1:01:50
who are without their loved ones have experienced loss.
1:01:54
Although I hate that word. You know exactly where your
1:01:57
loved ones are, most of you. Sorry PO WS, but I hate the word
1:02:03
loss. Your significant other is in
1:02:07
another place and you're alone. So please, please, please do not
1:02:13
consider suicide. Do not hurt anybody else.
1:02:19
I know you're hurting, that's why you're trying to escape.
1:02:22
But do not do it. Not this holiday season.
1:02:26
You got so much potential. You have a purpose for being
1:02:30
here. There is a reason you're here on
1:02:33
this planet, this day, this hour, this minute.
1:02:37
You have a purpose. If you need help in finding
1:02:41
that, if you need help just in anything you reach out to
1:02:46
mbrradio.com. They will be able to help you.
1:02:50
We can also direct you from thatscomingclean.com.
1:02:55
Please, please, please do not consider suicide.
1:02:59
Randy, Lisa, thank you so much for coming on this evening and
1:03:02
sharing your sharing your story with us and putting just good
1:03:08
information and energy out there for everyone to hear.
1:03:11
Oh, thank you. You're welcome for the dog tag,
1:03:15
Diva. I'm reminding you to greet each
1:03:17
day with purpose, passion and tenacity and be kind to each
1:03:21
other. Thank you.
1:03:23
Veterans having a tough time or thinking about suicide can call
1:03:27
Virginia's Veterans Crisis Line, dial 988, then press 1.
1:03:36
Hi.