Latest / HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN® / Quiet Questions: The Start of Our Autism Journey Chapter one

Transcript

Quiet Questions: The Start of Our Autism Journey Chapter one · HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN®

• 0:05
  Welcome to Have Faith, Let It Begin. This is Ariel Santana.
• 0:09
  Can you believe I'm seven years old already? I'm old enough now to introduce my dad.
• 0:15
  Ladies and gentlemen, your host, my dad, Angel Santana.
• 0:22
  Two thousand came and the spark was lit. A testimony raw, it wouldn't quit.
• 0:27
  It's mother's voice, a guiding thread.
• 0:55
  Hello everyone and welcome to Have Faith, Let It Begin. My name is Angel and
• 0:59
  welcome back to another week.
• 1:01
  You know, I want to just let you guys know I am a little bit under the weather,
• 1:05
  so my voice may crack at times, which is unfortunate because I'm so excited for this week.
• 1:11
  Today we're starting something new. This isn't just one episode,
• 1:15
  this is going to be a series.
• 1:17
  And it's for parents, for the parents especially, the ones who are just beginning
• 1:22
  the journey of realizing something might be different with their child.
• 1:27
  This is our story, and today I want to take you back to the beginning.
• 1:33
  I remember when things first started to stand out, not in a big obvious way,
• 1:39
  more like small moments that didn't quite line up.
• 1:43
  Maybe it was how Noah responded or didn't respond.
• 1:47
  Maybe it was the way he interacted or stayed in his own world a little longer than expected.
• 1:54
  At first, you don't jump to conclusions. You tell yourself, every child develops
• 2:01
  differently. And that's true.
• 2:03
  But there's also the quiet voice in the back of your mind that starts asking questions.
• 2:10
  And that's where it really began for me. Not fear, not panic, just questions.
• 2:16
  Do I say something? Do I wait? Do I wait it out?
• 2:21
  Am I overthinking this? You go back and forth with yourself,
• 2:25
  because part of you doesn't want to label anything too early,
• 2:30
  and another part of you doesn't want to ignore something important,
• 2:35
  and that is what you want to do.
• 2:36
  Tension. It sits with you. It sat with me.
• 2:41
  What I didn't expect was how quiet this part of the journey feels.
• 2:46
  Because from the outside, everything looks normal.
• 2:50
  Life keeps moving. But inside, you're paying attention to everything.
• 2:55
  Every reaction, every moment, every little detail.
• 3:00
  And you start wondering, not just what's going on.
• 3:05
  What it means for the future. And I'm going to be honest, my thoughts didn't go straight to fear.
• 3:11
  They went to responsibility. And I started asking myself, if something is going on, am I ready for it?
• 3:18
  Am I ready to be the father he's going to need me to be?
• 3:23
  Because it's one thing to love your child, but it's another thing to feel like
• 3:28
  you might need to grow into a version of yourself that you've never had to be before.
• 3:34
  And this is where faith started to come in for me, not as answers,
• 3:39
  but as something to hold on to.
• 3:42
  Because I didn't have clarity yet.
• 3:44
  I just had questions. But I believed.
• 3:48
  I believed even when moments just presented itself, when I had to really dig deep down inside of me.
• 3:58
  I believed even then that God was present in it, not rushing me,
• 4:04
  not overwhelming me, just there.
• 4:08
  If you're in that place right now, noticing these things, these signs,
• 4:17
  if you're asking questions, going back and forth in your mind, you're not alone.
• 4:23
  That beginning stage is real and it matters next episode i'm going to talk about
• 4:30
  the diagnosis and everything that came with it we are honoring and we're talking about autism.
• 4:38
  And this is autism awareness and i hope you enjoyed this series have faith let it begin have.