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SMNTY Classics: A Slumber Party Podcast on Sleepovers · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Danny and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
0:08
Speaker 1: never told your production of I Heart Radio. So through
0:19
Speaker 1: a series of past episodes, we've talked about our experiences
0:22
Speaker 1: with slumber parties. We also talked about a slasher movie
0:25
Speaker 1: around slumber parties, um kind of the sexualization around slumber parties.
0:30
Speaker 1: But what I wanted to bring up for this classic
0:33
Speaker 1: episode on the history of sumbler parties is I gifted
0:38
Speaker 1: you with a bunch of board games that we talked
0:43
Speaker 1: about on our like girl board Games episode as we
0:48
Speaker 1: called it. And we were having kind of you know,
0:54
Speaker 1: hopefully you're safe get together with friends, going away party
0:58
Speaker 1: for somebody, and we were playing games and we got
1:01
Speaker 1: these games ended up coming out yes, and people were
1:04
Speaker 1: reading the descriptions of boyfriends you could obtain in these
1:09
Speaker 1: games or items that you were trying to seek out
1:14
Speaker 1: in these games. And through all of this, I realized
1:18
Speaker 1: that I did a terrible thing and gave you a
1:20
Speaker 1: gift that required other gifts. Because there was a tape player,
1:26
Speaker 1: there was a cassette tape. I definitely don't have a
1:29
Speaker 1: cassette tape player. I don't know if I've had one,
1:32
Speaker 1: actually know I think I had one up until two
1:35
Speaker 1: thousand four because my CD player was a CD cassette. Yes, yes,
1:41
Speaker 1: I remember those. Well. I'm looking to fix this, Samantha,
1:46
Speaker 1: because I really really hearing everybody talked about it, and
1:53
Speaker 1: especially like the dudes in the group, but also the women.
1:57
Speaker 1: I gotta play these games, right, I say, Ease was
2:02
Speaker 1: a part of this group. You know, E's female first,
2:05
Speaker 1: uh and she her actually like dialogue and giving us
2:10
Speaker 1: a commentary on all the games was also a delight,
2:13
Speaker 1: as well as having people like my nemesis been bolen
2:17
Speaker 1: for my partner going through these games trying to figure
2:20
Speaker 1: out what they were themselves was quite a delight. It was.
2:24
Speaker 1: It was really fun. We didn't even play the games,
2:27
Speaker 1: but no, yes, and these are kind of a big
2:32
Speaker 1: part I feel like to my thumber party. Experience are
2:37
Speaker 1: are hanging out with a group of girls, especially Experience,
2:42
Speaker 1: and I really I want to play that mom Madness game.
2:44
Speaker 1: I gotta know what that's about to. Yeah, So we're
2:46
Speaker 1: actually hoping to do like maybe a mini series where
2:49
Speaker 1: we play these games and we invite other people to
2:51
Speaker 1: play with us, which I think will be really fun.
2:54
Speaker 1: We want to have some of our male counterparts come
2:57
Speaker 1: and play, and because they missed out, feel like many
3:00
Speaker 1: of them missed out on their childhood, not being allowed
3:04
Speaker 1: by society to enjoy these games, these games where you've
3:09
Speaker 1: got to find out boyfriend and you've gotta spend your
3:11
Speaker 1: credit card. I'm excited. I'm excited. But in the meantime,
3:18
Speaker 1: please enjoy this classic episode on slumber parties. Welcome to
3:25
Speaker 1: Stuff Mom Never told You from how stup works dot com. Hello,
3:33
Speaker 1: and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline.
3:37
Speaker 1: Or should I have said welcome to our slumba party?
3:41
Speaker 1: Actually no, well yeah, because we're awake. Were there? We
3:46
Speaker 1: are in sleeping bags, but we're not sleeping. I'm wearing
3:49
Speaker 1: a high necked nightgown and there's popcorn a popping And
3:55
Speaker 1: to kick things off, I have a slumber party story.
3:59
Speaker 1: Please hit me. Well, it has to do with losing
4:03
Speaker 1: a tooth. I have there one of my front teeth,
4:07
Speaker 1: the one right next to the second one over. It
4:10
Speaker 1: really makes note sense. I'm going to post a picture
4:12
Speaker 1: of myself with a giant arrow pointing to the tooth
4:16
Speaker 1: in question. Uh, it's actually a fake tooth. Yeah, you
4:23
Speaker 1: heard it here first folks, Christian's got a fake tooth
4:25
Speaker 1: Because I was at a slumber party when I was
4:29
Speaker 1: probably twelve eleven or twelve years old, and we were
4:33
Speaker 1: all in the living room and my sleeping bag was
4:36
Speaker 1: next to the fireplace. There was some rough housing going
4:40
Speaker 1: on because it was late at night and we'd probably
4:42
Speaker 1: had too many marshmallows, and someone knocked over the fire
4:48
Speaker 1: poker and it landed on It landed on my face,
4:53
Speaker 1: and it chipped off half my tooth, and it really
4:56
Speaker 1: didn't I don't remember hurting all that badly. I remember
5:00
Speaker 1: like laughing uncontrollably because of all this silliness going on,
5:04
Speaker 1: seeing in slow motion of fire poker coming towards my
5:07
Speaker 1: face and then so and being like are you okay,
5:10
Speaker 1: and being like, yeah, I'm totally. Oh my god, my
5:12
Speaker 1: tooth is gone. So and that in our podcast on
5:18
Speaker 1: slumber party. So anyone out there listening who might have
5:21
Speaker 1: a slumber party coming up for whatever reason, steer clear
5:24
Speaker 1: of the fireplace or any big blunt objects that could
5:28
Speaker 1: knock a child in the face. Yeah. When I when people,
5:32
Speaker 1: when I tell people about my tooth, I have to
5:34
Speaker 1: tell the whole story because if I say it got
5:35
Speaker 1: knocked out with a fire poker. It doesn't go over
5:39
Speaker 1: quite as well. And then I hit him back with
5:42
Speaker 1: a shovel. Um. Yeah, I I I myself was not
5:46
Speaker 1: a very good sleeper over or um. Slumber parties were
5:50
Speaker 1: better for me because I kind of knew that I
5:52
Speaker 1: had to suck it up and and just even if
5:54
Speaker 1: I didn't sleep all night, I just had to lie
5:56
Speaker 1: there and not be the kid that went home. Sleep
6:00
Speaker 1: Overs were a lot more difficult for me. I think
6:02
Speaker 1: maybe I had, oh, I don't know, like a handful
6:05
Speaker 1: of successful ones out of the mini that I went to,
6:08
Speaker 1: because as as I am now, I was a little
6:11
Speaker 1: kind of anxiety ridden sleeper. I I I needed the
6:16
Speaker 1: comfort of my own bed, my own space. I had
6:18
Speaker 1: to have the fan running. I didn't like being in
6:21
Speaker 1: different environments that were unfamiliar and smelled weird. God, some
6:26
Speaker 1: people's houses smell weird, and so I would often end
6:30
Speaker 1: up calling my mother to come get me at like
6:31
Speaker 1: tenor eleven and night. Oh you were one of those kids,
6:34
Speaker 1: I was, well, you're distinguishing between sleepover versus slumber party.
6:40
Speaker 1: How would you well? Slumber party I think of as
6:44
Speaker 1: like birthday party or special event. Where there's like, you know,
6:47
Speaker 1: a handful of girls, ten girls. However, many um sleepover
6:51
Speaker 1: I think of just as like your friend is inviting
6:52
Speaker 1: you to come over on a Saturday, Friday night or
6:54
Speaker 1: Saturday night, and then you go home in the morning.
6:57
Speaker 1: But I usually went home at nights. Yeah, I don't.
7:01
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was because of the homeschooling aspect,
7:06
Speaker 1: but sleepovers and slumber parties like I lived for them.
7:12
Speaker 1: If I could have been a professional sleepover I would
7:15
Speaker 1: have done it because I loved. One thing that I
7:19
Speaker 1: really enjoyed about sleeping over kids houses was the next
7:23
Speaker 1: morning the cereal because my mom Wis bought super healthy cereals,
7:28
Speaker 1: so we had it was a staple of corn flakes,
7:31
Speaker 1: Raisin brand and puffed wheat at my house. But you
7:34
Speaker 1: go over to other kids houses, they got to those
7:36
Speaker 1: corn pops, Lucky charms, that's loops and you kidding me?
7:39
Speaker 1: Those are the only times that I would have cereal seconds.
7:43
Speaker 1: And then you drink the multicolored milk yes, and you're like, god,
7:46
Speaker 1: the rules. Well, so we we do have a point.
7:50
Speaker 1: There is more to this podcast than just us telling stories,
7:52
Speaker 1: although I don't think there should be well, I mean,
7:54
Speaker 1: we're making the point that sleepovers are a pretty they're
7:58
Speaker 1: pretty big milestones in childhood socialization, at least in the US,
8:04
Speaker 1: and I would say in Canada as well. It's a
8:06
Speaker 1: very uh, USA centric kind of phenomenon that I didn't realize.
8:11
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that either. Um, but yeah, it is
8:14
Speaker 1: definitely an essential part of childhood. And this is according
8:17
Speaker 1: to pediatrician Perry Class, who was quoted in The New
8:20
Speaker 1: York Times back in February, who said that it's definitely
8:25
Speaker 1: essential for both boys and girls. And dr Class quotes
8:28
Speaker 1: Paula Fass, who is a history professor at u C. Berkeley,
8:31
Speaker 1: who said that sleepovers are a phenomenon of the suburbs
8:35
Speaker 1: and took off in the fifties and sixties, and by
8:38
Speaker 1: the eighties they had become a right, not a privilege. Well, yeah,
8:42
Speaker 1: and then with the eighties it also became well, even
8:45
Speaker 1: going back to the fifties and sixties, it was summer
8:48
Speaker 1: parties were often a theme in like teen teeny bop movies,
8:54
Speaker 1: Sandard d Pillow Fights, what not. But of course, sleepovers,
9:00
Speaker 1: f you are a parent are not necessarily just the
9:04
Speaker 1: prospect of gorging on pizza and pillow fights. There are
9:08
Speaker 1: also issues that come up, like a separation, anxiety, the
9:11
Speaker 1: whole thing. You know that you were talking about Caroline,
9:13
Speaker 1: of sleeping in a strange place, playing by another family's rules,
9:17
Speaker 1: bullying bed, wedding. Um. This can be maybe there might
9:22
Speaker 1: be a lot of fear in it, for more for
9:24
Speaker 1: the parent than for the child. Of sleeping in an
9:27
Speaker 1: unknown place for the first time. Yeah, and you should
9:30
Speaker 1: probably if your child is one who might have anxiety
9:35
Speaker 1: issues or sleep issues or anything, you probably should warn
9:38
Speaker 1: the hosting parents because you know, you don't want your
9:42
Speaker 1: kid to go wake the parents up in the middle
9:43
Speaker 1: of the night or have a big to do like oh,
9:45
Speaker 1: I don't know when the child has to call her
9:47
Speaker 1: mommy to come get her um and they stay. In
9:51
Speaker 1: this New York Times article that especially you should warn
9:53
Speaker 1: the parents, especially if your kid has night terrors or sleepwalks,
9:57
Speaker 1: because these things are more likely to happen in strange
10:00
Speaker 1: environments or when the kid is sleep deprived, so you know,
10:04
Speaker 1: night terrors that could be terrifying for the hosting parents
10:06
Speaker 1: and the children in the room as well. Do you
10:10
Speaker 1: speak from experience? No, my friend, my friend, A couple
10:14
Speaker 1: of friends actually have night terrors still and it is terrifying.
10:18
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I can, I can imagine we should do
10:20
Speaker 1: an episode on night terrors. Now. While it would be
10:24
Speaker 1: so much fun for us to continue on with the
10:27
Speaker 1: podcast and just talk share sleepover and slumber party stories
10:32
Speaker 1: because there are so many, let's actually be more practical
10:36
Speaker 1: about this and talk about from a parental perspective of
10:41
Speaker 1: how to tackle a sleepover. The Chicago Tribune actually published
10:46
Speaker 1: an entire guide to sleepovers because they can be especially
10:51
Speaker 1: if the kids are a little bit younger, if there
10:54
Speaker 1: is still in that age range, um, maybe eight, when
10:58
Speaker 1: sleepovers might be a new thing. If you're a parent
11:03
Speaker 1: and you're hosting a sleepover, it's actually a decent amount
11:06
Speaker 1: of work. And the first question, obviously you've got to
11:08
Speaker 1: ask is is your child ready to play host? Yeah, well,
11:14
Speaker 1: to play host or to go away to someone's smelly house,
11:19
Speaker 1: Because you might know that your child is not emotionally
11:22
Speaker 1: or anxiety wise ready to go to somebody else's house
11:25
Speaker 1: and sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor next
11:27
Speaker 1: to the fire poker. Um, but your child might be adamant,
11:31
Speaker 1: you know, like no, I'm ready, I want to go
11:32
Speaker 1: play with the other kids. Um. A lot of recommendations
11:36
Speaker 1: online have to do with developing fun sounding alternatives like
11:40
Speaker 1: why don't you go to your cousin Jimmy's house instead?
11:43
Speaker 1: It's more of a low pressure environment. Yeah, it's often
11:46
Speaker 1: recommended testing out the sleeping away from home in a
11:50
Speaker 1: family environment, going over to Grandma and Grandpa's house, going
11:54
Speaker 1: over to a cousin, or having a cousin over. So
11:56
Speaker 1: it's a little bit of a safer environment. And the
11:59
Speaker 1: age that is often sided is eight to nine years old. Um.
12:04
Speaker 1: And then the question is too of how many guests
12:07
Speaker 1: do you have at a sleepover? Because I mean I
12:10
Speaker 1: remember going to the big Ones and they could get
12:13
Speaker 1: massively out of hand because you always have a couple
12:15
Speaker 1: of troublemakers, and then it just the trouble just spread
12:20
Speaker 1: and then like just like in The Lord of the Flies,
12:23
Speaker 1: I mean, you start to get like a leader and
12:26
Speaker 1: then groups splinter and the next thing you know, you're
12:29
Speaker 1: like fighting with sticks on a beach. It's crazy, And
12:32
Speaker 1: next thing you know, you lose a tooth. What I
12:35
Speaker 1: lose the tooth? Yeah. The Chicago Tribune and The Guardian
12:38
Speaker 1: both have some recommendations, and I had never really, I
12:42
Speaker 1: guess I never knew this. I never really thought about
12:44
Speaker 1: how many children you should have, just not the whole class,
12:46
Speaker 1: I guess. But Chicago Tribune recommends that the younger the kid,
12:49
Speaker 1: the smaller the group. That makes sense, it's less overwhelming.
12:52
Speaker 1: The Guardian, on the other hand, gets a little more
12:54
Speaker 1: specific and says that for a slumber party, you want
12:58
Speaker 1: to invite the same number of guests as your child's age,
13:01
Speaker 1: whereas for a sleepover the number is half that I've
13:03
Speaker 1: never heard of that I don't I don't know what
13:06
Speaker 1: to tell you. I say, you know, invite what seems manageable. Um.
13:10
Speaker 1: And also don't invite kids that you don't know. Well,
13:14
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to invite everybody to the
13:16
Speaker 1: sleepover because again, with these kinds of environments you a
13:21
Speaker 1: child has to get along with the the family rules
13:25
Speaker 1: in place. UM. I remember that was that was one
13:27
Speaker 1: of the toughest negotiations of sleepovers and slumber parties was
13:31
Speaker 1: having to figure out the family dynamics like you can't
13:35
Speaker 1: go in the room with the white sofa yea, or
13:38
Speaker 1: or if you have free reign to do anything? You know,
13:41
Speaker 1: if there was if I went over to a friend's
13:43
Speaker 1: house who had fewer parental restrictions in my home might
13:47
Speaker 1: have had. It would take me a little while to
13:49
Speaker 1: be like, oh, oh, I can do this. I can't
13:51
Speaker 1: eat all this cereal. Excellent, We'll give me all the
13:55
Speaker 1: cereal I want. Um. They do recommend uh finding off
13:59
Speaker 1: for them, because I don't know. A gang of board
14:01
Speaker 1: children sounds terrifying to me. So you have to decide
14:04
Speaker 1: do you want planned events and group activities or do
14:06
Speaker 1: you just want to tell them that they have to
14:08
Speaker 1: entertain themselves. Are you just gonna like lock them in
14:10
Speaker 1: the playroom and just hope for the best. I don't know.
14:13
Speaker 1: That all sounds scary to me. There's also ideas about
14:18
Speaker 1: being careful to avoid hurt feelings, because yeah, that it
14:23
Speaker 1: can happen a lot of times when you take a
14:25
Speaker 1: group of kids, you get them kind of tired and
14:28
Speaker 1: and also sped up on sugar. That someone's going to
14:32
Speaker 1: start crying. Um, And you set a rule at the
14:35
Speaker 1: beginning not to exclude anybody. Also, for older kids, no
14:40
Speaker 1: cellular telephones, because then you might text people about other people,
14:44
Speaker 1: and there could be texting behind backs and whatnot. Yeah,
14:48
Speaker 1: and that's so weird. That was certainly not um a
14:51
Speaker 1: rule when yeah, well we did. We did have phone
14:54
Speaker 1: issues at slumber parties or sleepovers that I had, like
14:58
Speaker 1: you know where you do the thing where it's a
15:00
Speaker 1: three way call and the other person doesn't know the
15:02
Speaker 1: other person's listening. Oh yeah, those are the mean games
15:06
Speaker 1: you played, the mean game. No, I was just well,
15:08
Speaker 1: it was never. It was never calling somebody and finding
15:10
Speaker 1: out what somebody thought. It was usually like a boy like, hey, Nathan,
15:15
Speaker 1: you know so and so has a crush on you.
15:17
Speaker 1: What do you think usually likes and then giggling and
15:23
Speaker 1: hang up. Yeah, or the oven No, the no crank
15:26
Speaker 1: call policy. But what about the issue of speaking of
15:31
Speaker 1: calling the boys if you were at a girl's slumber party.
15:36
Speaker 1: What about the issue of co ed sleepovers? Because this
15:41
Speaker 1: is something that has come up. It was covered recently
15:45
Speaker 1: in the New York Times, and they have also been
15:48
Speaker 1: other articles and considerations about coed sleepovers because especially for
15:52
Speaker 1: the UM you know kids in their early teen years,
15:57
Speaker 1: they want to be able to have boys and girls
16:00
Speaker 1: stay the night together, to which most parents would probably
16:03
Speaker 1: be like no or no, no, definitely not. Uh actually
16:09
Speaker 1: went to a I wouldn't call it a slumber party.
16:12
Speaker 1: It was like the safe house because I think it
16:15
Speaker 1: was after homecoming and prom my senior year of high school.
16:19
Speaker 1: This family who had a farm in Marietta invited all
16:23
Speaker 1: of the kids back because it was like they kind
16:25
Speaker 1: of had the wink, hush hush attitude of like, well,
16:29
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna sneak alcohol, and we'd rather you all
16:32
Speaker 1: be in the same place, roaming free on a farm
16:35
Speaker 1: than trying to drive somewhere. Well that's so, but that's
16:38
Speaker 1: different than like actually hosting a sleepover. Yeah, all, yeah,
16:43
Speaker 1: there was. There was co ed sleeping, that's for sure.
16:47
Speaker 1: Um So, anyway, moving on, but that's a whole But
16:50
Speaker 1: that's a whole fear with these cod sleepovers is that naturally,
16:54
Speaker 1: at some point something's gonna happen. Are you a terrible
16:56
Speaker 1: parent if you if you are down with doing this, well,
17:01
Speaker 1: I guess it depends on what country you're in. Frankly,
17:04
Speaker 1: because Amy Shelleh, who's a sociology professor at UMAs Amhurst,
17:08
Speaker 1: did a study of teen sex and family life in
17:11
Speaker 1: the US and the Netherlands and surprise, surprise, there is uh,
17:15
Speaker 1: there's a lot of differences. Um She found that here
17:18
Speaker 1: teens are helpless victims beset by raging hormones. That's our
17:21
Speaker 1: perception of our teens. We have to keep them safe
17:23
Speaker 1: from themselves. In the Netherlands, parents interviewed regard teens more
17:29
Speaker 1: as capable of falling in love and of reasonably assessing
17:32
Speaker 1: their own readiness for sex. I haven't a think that
17:35
Speaker 1: kind of falls somewhere in between maybe, but she said.
17:38
Speaker 1: She said in talking to all these parents in the
17:40
Speaker 1: Netherlands that normalizing ideas about teenage sex actually allows parents
17:45
Speaker 1: to exert more control because it kind of opens the
17:48
Speaker 1: way for dialogue. Well, yeah, and this is one of
17:51
Speaker 1: the context of allowing like a code sleepover in terms
17:55
Speaker 1: of one like a like like my definition of a
17:58
Speaker 1: sleepover versus a slumber party. Yeah, like an adult an
18:01
Speaker 1: adult sleepover rather than like having a group of friends.
18:05
Speaker 1: Which Education dot Com talked to psychologists and parenting author
18:10
Speaker 1: Linda Sona about this and because she was saying that
18:13
Speaker 1: more parents are are having to deal with these requests
18:17
Speaker 1: for co ed slimmer parties and um. She says that
18:22
Speaker 1: many teens have deep platonic friendships with members of the
18:25
Speaker 1: opposite sex and honestly might just want to hang out,
18:28
Speaker 1: but at some point, but they often involve sexual activity,
18:32
Speaker 1: whether planned or not. But if you are a parent
18:36
Speaker 1: and you decide that that is okay, you obviously need
18:39
Speaker 1: to talk to the parents of the other kids to
18:42
Speaker 1: make sure that they know what's going on, be clear
18:44
Speaker 1: about rules, provide separate sleeping areas, and set a party perimeter, essentially, like,
18:49
Speaker 1: once you're in the house, you're not going to leave
18:52
Speaker 1: the house. Personally, it sounds like a giant heic trying
18:55
Speaker 1: to facilitate a completely PG teenage coed sleepover. But it
19:03
Speaker 1: can be done, I'm sure. But maybe a life would
19:07
Speaker 1: be just easier for parents with this whole sleepover thing
19:10
Speaker 1: if it wasn't such an ingrained part of American culture.
19:14
Speaker 1: Because I did not know that it was so us specific.
19:21
Speaker 1: I didn't either. I just figured it was a rite
19:23
Speaker 1: of passage for all children. The world over has a
19:28
Speaker 1: global slumber parties. That sounds really fun. That's something that
19:32
Speaker 1: should happen on the internet. The Internet. Um yeah. Carmen
19:35
Speaker 1: Yuri in The New Jersey Star Ledger wrote a column
19:39
Speaker 1: about her attitude about sleepovers, both when she was a
19:43
Speaker 1: child and now when she's a mom to daughters because
19:47
Speaker 1: a lot of people argue that it is a rite
19:48
Speaker 1: of passage. It's very common, no big deal. It can
19:51
Speaker 1: be a bonding tool for kids and their friends. She
19:53
Speaker 1: disagrees she was not allowed to sleep over at friends
19:56
Speaker 1: houses as a child, and his instituted the same rule
19:59
Speaker 1: for her daughter, and her reasoning, I find it a
20:02
Speaker 1: little hard to get behind other than there are such
20:06
Speaker 1: cultural differences. She said that because she perceived these slumber
20:10
Speaker 1: parties to be so cool and so normal and wanted
20:12
Speaker 1: to do him um, her Cuban mother was like, no,
20:16
Speaker 1: I'm not letting you do this. Why would I let
20:17
Speaker 1: you go sleep away at some stranger's house? And so
20:21
Speaker 1: she ends up bullying her mom into letting her go
20:24
Speaker 1: on the slumber party and says she felt scarred for
20:27
Speaker 1: the rest of her life. That she made her mom cry.
20:30
Speaker 1: Oh that that just sounds well yeah, well so all
20:33
Speaker 1: because of that, Because of her experience, she's not gonna
20:36
Speaker 1: let her kids do it. She says. The way I
20:38
Speaker 1: see it, my kids may miss out on a little
20:40
Speaker 1: fun at sleepovers, but they won't be permanently scarred in
20:43
Speaker 1: the future like me. They may sympathize with their mother. Well,
20:46
Speaker 1: we should point out that that her mom or Cuban
20:49
Speaker 1: mom did allow her to have friends sleep over at
20:52
Speaker 1: her house. It just wasn't like culturally, it did not
20:55
Speaker 1: make sense that she would need to sleep somewhere else.
21:01
Speaker 1: It just seemed very foreign to them. And there were
21:03
Speaker 1: um some other like parenting blogs that I ran across
21:08
Speaker 1: as while talking about Um. In some Muslim families, sleepovers
21:13
Speaker 1: are a no go. And also Amy Chiwa, who wrote
21:17
Speaker 1: the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother that got so
21:20
Speaker 1: much attention a couple of years ago. UM. One of
21:23
Speaker 1: the things that she talks about and all the strict
21:25
Speaker 1: rules that she imposes on her two daughters was that
21:28
Speaker 1: she refused to let them ever participate in sleepovers. Never
21:34
Speaker 1: ever um and uh Gil Sutherland in The Guardian and
21:40
Speaker 1: she grumbles that the slumber party has its origin in
21:44
Speaker 1: quote that other great American tradition, the summer camp. And
21:48
Speaker 1: she goes on and on talking about like all these
21:50
Speaker 1: things that you now have to do because kids think
21:52
Speaker 1: it's cool to have these weird slumber parties and so
21:57
Speaker 1: you have to you know, buy pizza and make a
22:00
Speaker 1: mess and deal with or are they called wakeovers? Essentially
22:03
Speaker 1: like kids never get enough sleep if they have a
22:05
Speaker 1: sleepover go to a slumber party. So you need to
22:08
Speaker 1: be prepared as a parent to deal with your junk
22:11
Speaker 1: food bloated, sleep deprived child. They say that who will
22:16
Speaker 1: probably be grumpy from a wakeover? Yeah? I mean I'm
22:19
Speaker 1: pretty grumpy one I don't get sleep. She also recommended
22:22
Speaker 1: food in boxes, like that's a cool thing for kids.
22:25
Speaker 1: I yeah, I would. I still like food in boxes
22:29
Speaker 1: and sleeping bags boxed food. Um. I do think we
22:33
Speaker 1: would be remiss not to mention a little bit of
22:35
Speaker 1: slumber party pop culture history, something that Kristen and I
22:39
Speaker 1: found that is amazing in the horrific sense of the
22:43
Speaker 1: word um. In nineteen six, Mattel released Slumber Party Barbie. Now,
22:48
Speaker 1: what could be wrong with slumber Party Barbie? She's so cute,
22:52
Speaker 1: She's got slippers, right, it's great. Yeah, Well maybe it's
22:55
Speaker 1: because she comes with a scale that reads a hundred
22:58
Speaker 1: and ten pounds and a book titled how to Lose Weight?
23:01
Speaker 1: Can you tell me the sole contents of the Barbie
23:05
Speaker 1: book How to Lose Weight, don't eat, which defeats the
23:09
Speaker 1: entire purpose of going to a slumber party. I know,
23:13
Speaker 1: boxed foods. Yeah, what are younna do with all that
23:16
Speaker 1: boxed foods? Yeah, speaking of Barbie, there was some analysis
23:20
Speaker 1: on kind of how Barbie intersected with American culture, and
23:24
Speaker 1: they talked about how uh It's symbolized the slumber party
23:29
Speaker 1: popularity um when not only did they release that nineteen
23:33
Speaker 1: six slumber party Barbie, but also in the original fashion
23:38
Speaker 1: booklet from uh It featured Barbie dressed up in cute NightWare.
23:46
Speaker 1: So even back in the late fifties, slumber parties all
23:50
Speaker 1: the rage, all the kids are doing it. Yeah, hopefully
23:54
Speaker 1: people in the fifties and sixties eight though that's true. Yes,
23:58
Speaker 1: But then also with game, the things we haven't been
24:00
Speaker 1: able to talk about with sleepovers. We could make this
24:03
Speaker 1: like an eight part series really, because there are things
24:05
Speaker 1: like Weuiji board the whole light is a feather stiff
24:08
Speaker 1: as a board. Truth or dare I was always I'm
24:11
Speaker 1: still a truth or dare Wheenie because I'm like, well,
24:14
Speaker 1: I don't want to really tell you the truth about something,
24:16
Speaker 1: but I also don't want to go like run naked
24:18
Speaker 1: through the sprinkler in the backyard at night at the
24:20
Speaker 1: neighbor's house, you know, like I was. I was kind
24:22
Speaker 1: of a pansy about that. Yeah, that was when I
24:24
Speaker 1: saw my first mooning was during a slumber party, truth
24:28
Speaker 1: or dare. I was like, Wow, that's your that's the butt,
24:30
Speaker 1: that's your bottom. And then of course there are the
24:33
Speaker 1: pranks your friends fall asleep. You don't want to be
24:36
Speaker 1: the first one to sleep because you might end up
24:37
Speaker 1: with shaving cream on your face, or you might attempt
24:41
Speaker 1: to get your friends to pet themselves if I put
24:43
Speaker 1: in your hands in warm water. And then yeah, those
24:46
Speaker 1: like a whole bullying games where I don't know that
24:49
Speaker 1: there's a name for it, but it's where you have
24:50
Speaker 1: like one friend hide under the bed so they the
24:53
Speaker 1: other person thinks that she's gone, and then you're like,
24:56
Speaker 1: what do you think about Caroline? And then she is
25:00
Speaker 1: a glowing report you stick out two thumbs way up
25:05
Speaker 1: from out from under the bed. Um. Yeah. Also, uh
25:09
Speaker 1: so Girlhood in America, because I do feel like slumber
25:12
Speaker 1: parties especially are um a little more associated with girlhood
25:16
Speaker 1: than boyhood of all. And I know boys have slumber
25:19
Speaker 1: parties and and all of that. But according to the
25:22
Speaker 1: book Girlhood in America, they say the research shows that
25:25
Speaker 1: even such cultural practices as slumber parties can be transformative,
25:30
Speaker 1: at least for a night, because it is the first
25:32
Speaker 1: time that you are completely away from UH parental authority.
25:37
Speaker 1: You don't know teachers are around. It's just you and
25:40
Speaker 1: your peers all night with a sugar rush and yeah,
25:46
Speaker 1: and you have to like work out all these kind
25:48
Speaker 1: of like negotiations of being in a new space and
25:51
Speaker 1: you have to watch what's that movie Wild Hearts Can't
25:54
Speaker 1: Be Broken? Yep, yep, yep. Or if you're like me,
25:59
Speaker 1: you would go over to your friend's house and she
26:01
Speaker 1: would just pull out one of her mom's UH tapes
26:04
Speaker 1: video cassettes from the shelf and it would be Silence
26:07
Speaker 1: of the Lands. God, is it any wonder? But I
26:12
Speaker 1: hated slumber parties, man, Yeah, I do feel like there's
26:15
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of boundary testing bands up
26:18
Speaker 1: happening at slumber parties because all of a sudden, you're
26:22
Speaker 1: all there together and you can get into cahoots and
26:25
Speaker 1: hijinks can ensue. So, uh, that's what we got for
26:30
Speaker 1: sleepovers and slumber parties, essentially a lot of fun reminiscing. Yeah,
26:35
Speaker 1: now I want to hear your slumber party stories. Parents
26:38
Speaker 1: out there is the slumber party something that you fear
26:42
Speaker 1: because you know, maybe your kids not ready. What what
26:45
Speaker 1: are the is it weird sending your child off for
26:48
Speaker 1: the first time to a sleepover or hosting a sleepover?
26:53
Speaker 1: You stay sane when you have like ten or fifteen
26:56
Speaker 1: or twenty kids in your house? Probably wine lots of
26:59
Speaker 1: ituld assume um and also, yeah, folks out there any
27:04
Speaker 1: slumber party stories. Caroline and I have shared ours. We
27:07
Speaker 1: would like to hear yours, and you can send them
27:09
Speaker 1: to us at Mom's Stuff at Discovery dot com. And
27:13
Speaker 1: we got a couple of letters here to share for
27:16
Speaker 1: you as well. This one comes from Katie and she
27:23
Speaker 1: wrote in a little while ago about our episode about
27:26
Speaker 1: man flu and whether or not man flu is real.
27:29
Speaker 1: And for those who have not listened to the episode
27:31
Speaker 1: on man flu, a man flu is this notion that
27:34
Speaker 1: when men get colds they totally uh dramatize their symptoms
27:41
Speaker 1: and make a big to do about it, whereas women
27:43
Speaker 1: are super tough when we get sick. So Katie writes,
27:47
Speaker 1: I do believe that there is probably a connection between
27:50
Speaker 1: masculinity and the man flu, but I did not think
27:53
Speaker 1: it has anything to do with the male sex. I'm
27:56
Speaker 1: really only speaking from personal experience, but I have noticed
27:58
Speaker 1: a definite pattern. All of the women I've dated have
28:01
Speaker 1: been very masculine in some way, to have been very
28:04
Speaker 1: butch in appearance but very gender neutral in behavior. They
28:07
Speaker 1: both want to have children someday, and they would like
28:09
Speaker 1: to carry a child if possible. One was very feminine
28:13
Speaker 1: in appearance but very typically masculine in personality. She was
28:16
Speaker 1: a lawyer who's very focused on career and monetary goals
28:19
Speaker 1: and cringes at the thought of babies. All three would
28:21
Speaker 1: describe themselves as more masculine than feminine. All three suffer
28:24
Speaker 1: from horrendous man flues. Once a year, for many years,
28:30
Speaker 1: I would get very bad bronchitis, and every time I
28:32
Speaker 1: would keep chugging along subbornly until I ended up at
28:35
Speaker 1: the doctor with a hundred and four degree fever hallucinating
28:37
Speaker 1: from lack of oxygen to my brain. These three women
28:41
Speaker 1: would get the sniffles, and this apparently signaled armageddon. I
28:44
Speaker 1: try to respect that it truly does feel awful for them,
28:47
Speaker 1: but the whining gets very old. So there's a fun
28:51
Speaker 1: observation from Katie. All Right, this is an interesting email
28:53
Speaker 1: from Israel about our Smell podcast. He says, as a
28:58
Speaker 1: blind guy, I've always been asked all kinds of questions.
29:01
Speaker 1: Is you're hearing any better? Can you feel things better
29:03
Speaker 1: than most people? Is your sense of smell like that
29:06
Speaker 1: of a shark? And that's a reference? I don't get
29:09
Speaker 1: the sharks smell? Yeah, man, sharks can smell blood from
29:13
Speaker 1: a mile away? Okay, alright then, okay, glad that was
29:16
Speaker 1: confirmed for me? I never okay anyway, yeah, no kidding.
29:21
Speaker 1: Someone actually asked me that the shark thing, and of course,
29:24
Speaker 1: since I have been gifted with an amazing sense of humor,
29:26
Speaker 1: I responded, yes, absolutely, I could. I could smell you
29:29
Speaker 1: coming a mile away. Immediately this person took off running,
29:32
Speaker 1: came back and was literally bathed in perfume. I found
29:35
Speaker 1: this absolutely hysterical. Sense. Of course, I was exaggerating with
29:38
Speaker 1: my mile away comment, having said that I do tend
29:41
Speaker 1: to be more sensitive to smells, and although I don't
29:43
Speaker 1: pick them up a mile away, I do tend to
29:45
Speaker 1: notice things that most other people would just ignore. Listening
29:48
Speaker 1: to your podcast on smells just made me wonder if,
29:50
Speaker 1: in fact, there is any science linked to lack of
29:53
Speaker 1: sight and how strong my senses may or may not be.
29:56
Speaker 1: I've always dismissed this and simply attributed it to the
29:58
Speaker 1: fact that since I can't see, my brain just tends
30:01
Speaker 1: to pay more attention to the senses that do work.
30:04
Speaker 1: And then he adds, and just in case you might
30:07
Speaker 1: be wondering, no, I don't smell. I would know, so
30:12
Speaker 1: thank you Israel, And now I know that sharks have
30:15
Speaker 1: a good sense of smell. And Caroline, I apologize if
30:17
Speaker 1: that came across in my tone as shark shaming. You
30:20
Speaker 1: did not mean to. But also there was one bit
30:24
Speaker 1: in this letter, the man Food letter from Katie that
30:27
Speaker 1: was addressed to you, really that I didn't get to.
30:30
Speaker 1: So Caroline, here you go. Okay, she says, Caroline. In
30:33
Speaker 1: my house, we share our beer with one of the cats.
30:37
Speaker 1: I think this comes from uh something. There was an
30:40
Speaker 1: episode we were talking about getting saliva from pets. Yeah,
30:46
Speaker 1: something about you could get sick, and I was really
30:48
Speaker 1: grossed out about maybe letting your pets lick you. Yeah,
30:51
Speaker 1: it was something something some aversion to pets. I mean,
30:53
Speaker 1: I am grossed out about letting pets like you. But well,
30:56
Speaker 1: listen to this. In Katie's house, she says, we share
30:58
Speaker 1: a beer with one of the cats. The way I
31:00
Speaker 1: see it, their germs are everywhere, whether I knew it
31:02
Speaker 1: or not, I'm sure I eat much worse by accident
31:04
Speaker 1: every day. And it's just so much fun to watch
31:07
Speaker 1: the cat drink beer before you get worried. She doesn't
31:10
Speaker 1: get much, and every vet we have ever told about
31:13
Speaker 1: it says something along the lines of cool, my cat
31:15
Speaker 1: isn't nearly that awesome. So double thanks to Katie. I'm
31:20
Speaker 1: learning all sorts of things today for that. And now
31:23
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go look up videos of cats drinking beer responsibly.
31:28
Speaker 1: So in the meantime, if you've got letters to send
31:29
Speaker 1: our way, mom Stuff at Discovery dot com is our
31:32
Speaker 1: email address. You can also find us on Facebook and
31:35
Speaker 1: follow us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcasts, and we'd
31:39
Speaker 1: love for you to head over to our blog as
31:41
Speaker 1: well on Tumbler. It's stuff I've Never told you dot
31:44
Speaker 1: tumbler dot com. And if you'd like to get a
31:47
Speaker 1: little smarter during the week, you can head over to
31:49
Speaker 1: our website, it's how stuff works dot com for more
31:56
Speaker 1: on this and thousands of other topics. How stuff works
31:59
Speaker 1: dot com. Yeah, brought to you by the reinvented two
32:06
Speaker 1: thousand twelve Camry. It's ready, Are you