Latest / LeadingLane Podcast / Rethinking Motivation: Beyond the Buzzword | LeadingLane Podcast | Episode 51
Transcript
- Steven L Burch (00:01) I don't need to burn reporting. Ashley (00:02) I think we should start and then you can say what you think motivation is. Steven L Burch (00:06) Do you want to do the opener? Ashley (00:07) That was really sweet. Yep. Lemonade. All right. Steven L Burch (00:09) What is that? Ashley (00:11) Welcome back everyone to the Leading Lane podcast. This week we're going to talk about a hot topic word that I think many people take differently. I there are different meanings to it. I think there's different things behind it. And that word would be motivation. So Stephen, can you tell me what motivation means to you? Steven L Burch (00:31) Hmm. To me, motivation is movement, right? Like it's creating movement, it's inspiring people, it's making sure that you're being a leader, is to motivate somebody. I look at it as a football coach, a basketball coach, like to me, they're there to motivate, they're there to move and score, right? Like they have players that they're working with. Where this is coming from I made a post on Facebook and asking the question What do you do to motivate your team and you know, there's different people's opinions and everybody is entitled to their opinion. That's totally fine but some of the comments on there were very I was taken back by Just more so that you know that you know You can't motivate anybody and they have to motivate themselves as I know that that is true. You can't want it more than than somebody, but sometimes people can't see their own potential in themselves. And I think it's our job as a leader to be able to pull that out and help them see that and shine in a different light and motivate them to move them, to move them forward to their goals. Doesn't mean that I need to motivate them. the fact of, at least to me, motivation isn't just bringing pizza to lunch and having champagne and orange juice at meetings like Yeah, those are little things to help with culture, but to me that's not motivation. think that's more so just like I got the ick when I used to work for corporate America and all we got was a pizza party because we did something great. think that does not motivate me. So yeah, that's kind of my breakdown of motivation. is your take of motivation? Ashley (02:11) So it's funny, I Googled it. it's as motivation is the internal state that drives people to engage in a goal directed behaviors. It can explain why people start, continue or stop a behavior at a specific time. It is a complex phenomenon that is studied in psychology, neuroscience and other fields. So I think that you're correct and that there is like a bad misnomer that's tied to motivation, if you will. And people just think, like it's a buzzword, what it is. but I do think that you're right. If I even just try to look back at, you know, my own history of things, it's, you do have to have the internal drive, but let's be honest in that sometimes people's lights might get dimmed and they need something to help move them forward so that they do have a brighter light, if you will. And I think that that comes more so, like you said, from leadership, which comes from Steven L Burch (02:42) Mm-hmm. Ashley (03:06) Accountability, which comes from check-ins, which also I think comes from chin checks, you know, because sometimes people might be stuck and if no one's actually having a conversation with them about why they're stuck. Like we've talked about, sometimes it can be something personal at home. You know, it can just be something that was potentially misinterpreted, you know, in a conversation because we know that even via text things get, you know, misinterpreted. And people sometimes I think, you know, fester on those negative things. And I feel like if we're not being accountable and we're not checking in with people, that's when people's drive can change where I think if you put people in a room where drive type of conversations are being had, you know, that's its own internal way, I believe of motivation by even just watching other people. So sometimes it has to do with. Steven L Burch (03:37) Mm-hmm. Ashley (04:00) Some people's drive is competitive, right? Cause like we're not competitive at all. and you know, again, like if you're just out there and like la la land, it can be different. Or if you're kind of set in a room with people or that you can have conversations with people about what those big life long-term goals look like, you can start to think about things differently. I agree with you that there are like, I remember like, right. Even going back to like elementary school, I think it was, Steven L Burch (04:02) No. Ashley (04:25) We got like a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut if we run a book or something. There you go. Right. Steven L Burch (04:30) book it with a personal pan yeah extra pizza hut was my very first job so I know all about the buckets Ashley (04:37) Yes. But do know what I mean? It's funny when you look back to 30 years ago, food with motivation then. Steven L Burch (04:45) Well, then where the world is now, maybe that was an issue. Ashley (04:49) They read too many books, damn it. Right? So, but it is like, we like to use food here, not as motivation, but we use it more as collaboration, if you will. So like, we do it for like lunch and learns. But I think the point is just, you know, in reading through some of these comments, you know, it was all just directed at people having to do it themselves. And you're right. I think what's the book that we have both read? Steven L Burch (04:50) Mm-hmm. Ashley (05:16) that talks about, I think it's Kobe, or is it Michael Jordan? Steven L Burch (05:21) it's Kobe. You're the cooler. Ashley (05:25) driven purpose. It's kind of bugging me. Steven L Burch (05:29) Which one is it? It's not resentless. Ashley (05:30) Driven or purpose or. Steven L Burch (05:33) Yeah, I'm gonna have to look it up. Ashley (05:34) Yeah, but anyway, you know, there is like the there is an internal part of that that they just wanted to be better, but they had a coach, right? So like, had it Kobe not had a coach, would there have been the same type of outcome because there was someone that was pushing them along. Steven L Burch (05:42) Thank you. And you know what's really funny? I'm to call this out. Sean Carroll. Okay. Sean Carroll is the one that actually we were having dinner and he told me about this book and I'm trying to look it up on the books that I read and told me that is that's this is the one that I should read and really was one of his favorite ones and blah, blah. And so he motivated me. Sean Carroll, you motivated me. If you're listening to this. to read it. And so then there were therefore what I did was then pass that knowledge on and gave it to Ashley and I motivated her to be able to read it too. And I think that's where maybe the context of the word of motivate is taken out a little bit too too much as this buzzword, right? Were you able to find the book? Because it is driving me freaking nuts. Ashley (06:38) No, I'm not. Steven L Burch (06:39) winning and, Relentless by Tim Grove. great book. And, know, like, and I think that's where it like, you know, I'm looking at it too. And some of the different people that were on there and again, I'm not bashing any of them. have no problem telling them straight to their face or on a podcast. but you know, it's funny cause there's people that were on there that were running for position on their local association board, board of directors. Ashley (06:42) Yeah. Yeah. Steven L Burch (07:04) And to me, like when I see that people don't like this word, you're there motivating other people to go and vote for you. Right? Like you're legit doing the term, in my opinion. Now, I can't tell them that they have to vote for me, but I'm out there trying to inspire them. I'm showing them the path, the reasons why, right? Like I'm giving them the pathway of the reason why I should get them from A to B and vote for me. So. I know, I just kind of think it's kind of funny in the context, know, and it's no different than when we had Valerie Garcia on here about, you know, the 10X and grind away and, you know, all of these different buzzwords. There's buzzwords that I hate too. But I think that's where, you know, going into leadership, maybe it's figuring, at least for me, I had to realize some of my definitions of these words. I hate the word coach. Right? Like I hated the word coach because I felt like everybody was going out there and putting coach behind their name. And so I think it kind of more so made me feel some sort of So maybe instead of deflecting and trying to say, I don't like said word buzzword, what is the real reason why it doesn't resonate with me? And is that truly this the correct term that we should be using when we're talking about the, this type of things? So I don't know. Ashley (08:25) Yeah. I mean, and I think, you know, the question was, do you, how do you motivate your team? I believe that's what the question was. Right. And I think if you like, if you do think about it, it's not just, you know, in the office, but if you think about, you know, at a sports, you know, actual game, right? Like there are ways, whether it's, you know, giving the ball to the not expected player, you know what I mean? Like if you were watching the history of like, no, I know where I live, follow the Chiefs now. Right. Steven L Burch (08:31) Mm-hmm. Ashley (08:54) So, shout out Taylor Swift. But anyway, you know, like there are people that people always think that it's going to be Travis Kelce, right? And now he knows that. like other people have had a chance to shine because he's helped them with that opportunity, right? Or whatever that might look like. But when you give people those opportunities, like they get better, right? So like, that's the other part of it is like, it's not just like motivation. It's there's so many other words that fall into that, in my opinion, like Steven L Burch (09:05) Mm-hmm. Ashley (09:21) accountability and opportunity and recognition. I mean, let's be honest, there are some people that do well off of recognition. And I think that's where it comes back to the leadership of really getting to know your people. Because there are definitely some people in my office that hate recognition. And so I wouldn't spend a lot of time on that where there are other people that, you know, feed off of that. So I think it's really just a matter of, like, literally, like what does motivate them? And you might hate that word, but like what makes your people perform better? Steven L Burch (09:24) . Ashley (09:48) And I can tell you that sure, it might be self-driven, but I've also seen in people like when you've come from a toxic work environment, right? So like Charles is a prime example. When we were at our old brokerage, like everyone was unhappy and sure, it's a, office in general was negative, right? But then it does start to wear away at a person like same with myself, right? I stopped going to the office. I thought about quitting real estate. That's because of your surroundings as much as you. As much as you personally want to try to change that and do it, you can only be worn down for so long. So to me, it's always interesting, like when you actually move people out of those and put them into a healthy environment that they can flourish. Right. So then Charles moved over and like found his love for real estate again. Right. Like I moved over, we opened the brokerage, had my best years in real estate after I just thought about quitting. Like it's a matter of the environment plays into how people, you know, it does affect their internal drive. Steven L Burch (10:27) way. I agree. mean, there's, I can't motivate or make you do something. You have to have that spark definitely there, but there are outside influences that bring everything together. You know, it's the, shared this with you a little bit ago about there was an activity that I did about, I mean, it's been a little bit with my team, but it was giving them a can of soda. and being able to, like I made them drink it or dump it out, whatever. And I did a competition. said, okay, let's see who can crush this can the best, right? And after we went through and we were talking about it, after everybody crushed it, then I said, okay, now let's put the can back together, put it back in pristine condition. And you can't, there's no way that you can pull that can back without the ripples and everything else. And so like that's the outside influence in this conversation of, there is negativity, there is the toxicity, right? There's the different things that people say. You can never take that back. Because, know, even though that they can once to maybe get back to perfect, nobody else can make it other than, you know, the internal person. and it's what is the, if you put a piece of fruit right next to a rotten fruit, it's going to rot way quicker. Ashley (12:03) know, that just happened to my avocados. Steven L Burch (12:05) Damn it, I can never keep my avocados, like at all. Ashley (12:08) Well, because you can't buy them like green green because then they can't like use them. And then yeah, I got next to something and I had to throw them away this morning. But anyway, yes, you're very right. It spoils what's right next to it. Go ahead. Steven L Burch (12:11) Thank But no, because my brain's still on avocados. I buy frozen avocados now for my smoothies in the morning. Yeah, so anyways, motivation. You know, like, there's different words, though, like the appreciation, like you were saying, there's the five love languages, but there's the languages of, yeah, well, it's the there's like an assessment that you can do. Ashley (12:27) Yeah, that's a good idea. profile. Steven L Burch (12:42) but I can't remember the author for it. We talked about it before, but it's figuring out what is their level of appreciation or how do they want to receive appreciation. And I think as a leader, when you motivate somebody, you want to understand how they like to receive that appreciation. You also need to know what is their underlying why. And that's another, that's a buzzword, little phrase that I don't like, but understanding their why, where did they want to be able to go? I can't just throw all of this on top of them and say, is what I want. If I'm really trying to help somebody get them to their goal and ultimately their finish line of wherever that may be, I need to know a lot of these different factors. And when you talked about the chin checks earlier, like you have to challenge people and you have to be able to allow them to see things from a different perspective. We're not looking at it all from the same lenses and the same areas of the journey in life. And the more that we can get down to nitty gritty of that individual, I think that's the quicker that we can light the fuse to get them there faster to that finish line, whatever it may be. But let me flip this around. Let's say that we're in an environment and we don't have a leader. We don't have necessarily the positivity and everybody gets to go do their own thing. And we're really just kind of out there. How do you think those people perform without having any outside influence, positive outside influence at all, and they're only relying on that internal motivation, and that's it. Ashley (14:08) I don't think that they're probably performing to their capability, right? So when I think that it's just in general, like when you're stuck in a rut and then there's no one to. have those conversations with or no one to look up to, actually feel like those people can start to just trickle down. I think that's, we're seeing it right now. think our board president said, in the state, or I can't remember how she said it, but like less than 50 % of the agents had had like one transaction. And like, that's mind boggling for me, right? And, you know, a lot of them have called her to complain about things and, you know, I guess, My question then too is just like, where's that energy coming from? Or where's the other part of that energy? So instead of like taking the time to, and we see it on, you know, like on Facebook groups to like people will complain about how slow they are or whatnot. mean, question is just like, if you were put in a different room where somebody was challenging you with that, or like, instead of spending an hour online complaining about something like, could you be going out and meeting someone or could you be having coffee with a lender or. But right if, you're just stuck with all the people that then like throw on there, like it sucks this market sucks. Right. then like, I'm turned around and being like, if we're our office feels like it's July. So mean, like that's because we're really healing it and like what you're promoting is, coming in. And I think that that's an opportunity where people do need to find outlets, whether it's buzzword coach, you know, whether it's something like what Niva does, the rise and thrive, right. And then it's an hour or twice a week. Steven L Burch (15:39) Okay. Ashley (15:42) I'm trying to fill your mind with positivity and things are grateful for and is you know me was very big on mindset which I believe in. And visualizing things where you're just stuck in this like black hole like that's all you're gonna see is the black hole right like you have to be away from a way to find that light somewhere and I think even for me that goes back to. You know, Imran where I called Imran one day and I just said I was struggling and I was like, I need help. Like I need help in some fashion. Right. And then, he turned me on to a coach, which, you know, changed things and it's the ability to ask people for help, whatever that might be, whether it's just, you know, I remember one time, like I wasn't in a good mental space and I just like wanted a friend to go to a pedicure with me because I just needed like an outlet for an hour. Right. and I think that that's really important this time of year as well. Like. I can feel it like right. It's dark at five o'clock here. It's dark when you wake up. Like, I feel like I go to bed at seven o'clock every night. I might've gone about at eight o'clock last night, right? It's like, it's somewhat depressing and you have to have those people that are willing to check on you and make sure that you're okay. And I think it's just, it's okay to ask people or just say like something's not right. so that they can try to help, you know, I've tried to tell people about rise and thrive or told people to. you know, take some time off, whatever that might be, but unless we're, if we're all silent about it, like, you know, we can't help one another or find whatever that internal motivation might be. And it might just be a simple conversation that somebody needs to get something off their chest. Steven L Burch (17:09) Right. Yeah, no. And you know, like I think with this too, like you kind of went with it on, you know, in real estate, like I think as a leader in here, sometimes yes, it's recognizing people's potential, but in real estate, sometimes real estate isn't for you. And I have a story that Katie Mortimer, she was an agent for us for I think about a year or two. You know like she's a great gal love her and maybe I think that she would be great as a guest on here because her story is absolutely freaking amazing but she her son passed away very early of cancer and So she did a lot of volunteering for you know, st. Jude And just a lot of different things and there was an opportunity that came through And we were I think it was towards the end of the year And I was like, all right, like, I just don't think real estate is really your passion. Like you're good at it. Like, that's fine. You're a people person. You want to help people like get that. But go pursue something that like is drives you in your passion. And she wants to help family. She wants to share her story about Brady, her son. And so she went and now she's worked her way through and she does amazing events for St. Jude. And I get messages from her every once in a while. and saying because of me, she actually took the leap and she moved from Kansas down to Memphis. to me, her saying I motivated her to go take this leap and it was being able to find that her finish line or her goals did not align with mine, not that that's a bad thing, but I helped her and hopefully pushed her to inspire her to go and pursue her passion. We do that. I think as leaders naturally and organically, if I don't like the word motivation or not, like it is what it is, but it's that simple nudge to be able to say, yep, I need to go do that. Yep. And I shared with you, I mean, things that I'm going through and whatnot, and there's a lot of negativity in life. And you told me, Hey, maybe it's time for you to go back and look at therapy. And so I am right. So like you motivated me to go and do these different things. So, Maybe I'm just a little bit more passionate about it because I think that, yeah, it's easy to jump on and like you said, be negative on forums or, you know, comment on different things, but you don't really know the impact of your words. You don't really know the how just, you know, a couple of interactions or a dinner with somebody or pedicures with somebody, what that will lead to, what your suggestions or recommendations are for them, where they're going to go with that. You can't force them to go to therapy. You can't force them to go and do these other things, but You're there to like I think that's what humans do not just leaders. That's what you know That's what I like to think that humans should be doing for one another humans over houses Ashley (19:52) Mm-hmm. Right. I think that's, that's the point of that, of this conversation, right. Is that motivation is such a, there's so much more behind it. And I think that we're actually, we should all be motivating each other in some fashion. know, whether that is via just checking in or accountability. And I think I had encouraged people to look at the word differently and to just show up for one another instead of being negative about it. Steven L Burch (20:11) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Agreed. It's okay. We don't like the buzzword. But I'm going to go motivate people. Yeah, that's right. So, well, thanks for tuning in today. If you would like to be a guest or have different topics you'd like for us to talk about, please reach out. We would love to be able to have you on and we appreciate your support.