Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The narcissist and how they TEXT | Diagnosed Narcissist Explanation
Transcript
- 0:01What is going on beautiful people, Lee Hammock your
- 0:04favorite. You can have a favorite self
- 0:07aware narcissist here with today's episode y'all.
- 0:11Today we're answering the question, how do narcissist
- 0:15text? How do those pesky desky
- 0:20narcissistic people in your life?
- 0:22How do they send text messages? Is there a particular way that
- 0:26they send messages? Is there a style?
- 0:29Is there a, is there a method to their narcissistic madness?
- 0:35That's what we're answering. They did today, y'all, That's
- 0:37what we're tackling today. Y'all seriously Welcome,
- 0:40welcome, welcome. How do I think a lot of people
- 0:43might see this live and just like, well, Lee, narcissist text
- 0:46just like anybody else, right? Narcissistic people, they're
- 0:50going to text just like anybody else.
- 0:52They're going to do whatever they want to do.
- 0:54That's just the narcissist way. Like what are you even talking
- 0:57about? I'm glad you asked because it's
- 1:00not normal. It's not normal.
- 1:03Like as a diagnosed narcissist, the first thing, the first
- 1:07method that I can tell you that narcissist used to text you is
- 1:12they text like somebody else is going to read the message.
- 1:16Oof. They text like someone else is
- 1:23going to read it like this is 1 method that a lot of narcissists
- 1:27use right here. They will send a message like
- 1:31and it just seems like it's going to sound.
- 1:33It's going to seem weird to you like this.
- 1:35This message doesn't sound like you.
- 1:37It's not going to seem like they're normal style of
- 1:39messaging, right? They might not be mean.
- 1:42They might seem understanding. They might try to seem
- 1:45reasonable and you're like, what the hell?
- 1:47You were just cussing me out. Why are you messaging me like
- 1:49this now? Why are you sending this type of
- 1:52message like this? Why are you talking to me like
- 1:53this whole time they're thinking that someone else is going to
- 1:59see it. They think that you're going to
- 2:01show this message to someone else, right?
- 2:05So let's just say you caught them cheating on you, right?
- 2:09And you're going back and forth with them via text message,
- 2:12right? And instead of them ever just
- 2:14admitting to cheating on you, they all just text.
- 2:17It's just like, I'm sorry I made a mistake but I'm not perfect.
- 2:23And neither are you. Neither are you.
- 2:29I might not be perfect. But you aren't either.
- 2:33You go act like yo poop don't stink when it smells like Boo
- 2:38Boo Boo Boo. Seriously, this was why you'll
- 2:43go back and forth. You'll be begging them.
- 2:45You'll be begging that narcissistic person to just
- 2:48admit to you what they've done wrong via text message or
- 2:52e-mail, and they refuse to. They'll beat around the Bush.
- 2:56They know they're busted. You know they're busted, but
- 2:59they're assuming that you're going to show this to somebody
- 3:02else so they can have plausible deniability.
- 3:04I never admitted to that. I never said that.
- 3:08I never told you I never. That's not the point that I've
- 3:11ever made before. I've never ever said that right
- 3:14there. What are you talk?
- 3:15What are you even talking about? I never admitted to anything.
- 3:21Gotcha. Gotcha.
- 3:24Or if they're trying to love bomb you, let's say that y'all
- 3:28have broken up. Let's say you finally left, you
- 3:31finally got away from them right?
- 3:33They are going to text you like you're going to let your friends
- 3:37or family member, they're like you're going to show this to
- 3:39your community, like you you're going to show their messages to
- 3:42a support system. So they're texting you like
- 3:45you're going to show this and they're trying to get some
- 3:47they're trying to get some good clout.
- 3:49They're trying to text you like you're going to let your mom
- 3:51read this. Like look what?
- 3:52Look at this message that Lee sent me and she going to read it
- 3:55just like, oh, this isn't that bad.
- 3:58He's he's saying that he loves you and he he cares about you.
- 4:03It seems pretty calm and tame to me.
- 4:05Maybe you should give them another chance.
- 4:10Gotcha. You see how it goes right there?
- 4:13They're texting like somebody else is going to see it.
- 4:17They're texting like somebody else is going to read it.
- 4:21They're texting like they can use this text message as further
- 4:24manipulation. They can they can.
- 4:28That's the one method that a lot of people don't talk about is
- 4:30that method where they're texting like somebody else is
- 4:33going to read it. They're emailing, they're
- 4:34whatsapping, they're messaging you, they're DM ING you like
- 4:38you're going to show it to somebody else and that's how
- 4:43they get you. If it's joining the live, make
- 4:45sure y'all hit that thumbs up button, hit the like button,
- 4:48subscribe if you haven't and also drop a comment and comments
- 4:51on I'm gonna do AQ and A at the end.
- 4:54The next thing, the next method to a narcissist text messaging
- 4:58madness. The next thing that a narcissist
- 5:00will do via text message is just try to exhaust you.
- 5:07They'll try to wear you down. A narcissist that is text
- 5:10messaging you will try to wear your ass down.
- 5:16They'll try to exhaust you or or bombard you with messages until
- 5:22you get tired, until you can't take any more and then you
- 5:26finally respond. That's why I tell people it's so
- 5:30important to block a person that is not serving you.
- 5:35That's why it's so important to block this narcissistic person
- 5:38that is not helping you out, that is not being there for you
- 5:42in any way shape or form. This is why it's important you
- 5:46got to block them because they're going to keep texting
- 5:49you and texting you and texting you and trying to exhaust you
- 5:52until you give in. That's what it is.
- 5:59You want them to exhaust you. I know somebody I know a lot of
- 6:03y'all. I know a lot of y'all inherited
- 6:04will be like, well, Lee, I'm strong enough to just ignore
- 6:07you. I'm I'm a send them.
- 6:09I'm sending them a message by ignoring them sooner or later.
- 6:13And this is it. And from my mind, if I'm texting
- 6:16you like this, you could ignore me.
- 6:21You could ignore the 1st 100 messages, right?
- 6:24You could ignore the 1st 100 messages.
- 6:27But sooner or later, I'm going to say something to you via
- 6:31message, via e-mail that's going to trigger you to respond.
- 6:37I'm either going to say something accusatory.
- 6:39I'm going to threaten to harm myself or harm you.
- 6:42I'm going to threaten to do something bad.
- 6:44I'm going to threaten to disappear.
- 6:46I'm going to tell you I'm sick. I'm going to tell you my dog is
- 6:49sick. I'm going to tell you my
- 6:51goldfish went belly up like in Finding Nemo.
- 6:54I don't want to go belly up. That's exactly what I'm going to
- 7:01do. And sooner or later, because you
- 7:04have the high capacity for empathy, you going to respond?
- 7:10Gotcha gotcha. Do I or do I not gotcha?
- 7:19Does it feel like I gotcha? That's the method to a
- 7:23narcissist madness right there. They're going to feel like they
- 7:27gotcha. This is why you have to empower
- 7:30yourself and keep yourself safe and keep yourself strong by
- 7:33blocking them if at all possible because they want to exhaust you
- 7:37into responding to them. That's just how they use text
- 7:40messaging as a weapon to bombard you.
- 7:43This is why what I'm doing something about, that's why I'm
- 7:45doing some of my calls over Zoom, right?
- 7:46I'll be doing one on ones or Zoom calls, phone calls, what
- 7:49not right? Mental illness.net.
- 7:52And people will send me screenshots of messages between
- 7:55them and their partner. And it's just a bombardment of
- 7:57messages from one side and it's like 2-3 words, 2-3 words, 2-3
- 8:02words, 2-3 words, one word, 2-3 words, 2-3 words.
- 8:04It's very rarely a huge paragraph.
- 8:06They're making sure you get those notifications.
- 8:08Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding.
- 8:10It could be 1 long sentence or they said I hate you so much you
- 8:15don't understand how you make me feel.
- 8:18You never cared about me, you never loved me.
- 8:22All those notifications could be one sentence, but they want to
- 8:24wear you down. They want to get you to the
- 8:26point where you respond and be like.
- 8:28Well, just leave me alone, damn it.
- 8:33No, Why would I leave you alone if it works?
- 8:38Ask yourself that question. Why would I leave you alone if
- 8:42it works quickly? Quickly.
- 8:52Another way, another thing, another way that a narcissist
- 8:55text messages you is another reason behind it is because they
- 8:58just want to make sure that they have access to you, right?
- 9:05They just want to make sure they have access to you.
- 9:07Jennifer said, what if you just responded with, OK, I'm
- 9:09responding to you, so now you should feel like you have your
- 9:12power back. All good.
- 9:13I wouldn't even send that because that validates me.
- 9:15You responded, you know what I'm saying?
- 9:16I wouldn't even send that because you validated me.
- 9:20You just validated me. I got what I wanted, even though
- 9:26you, you might see it from a different perspective as a
- 9:28narcissist, I'm seeing that as you gave me what I wanted.
- 9:29Gotcha, thank you. I know you kind of be sarcastic,
- 9:32but I gotcha, you know what I mean.
- 9:35But the access some narcissists, they text you just because they
- 9:41want to still have access to you.
- 9:43Y'all know how y'all know how on iPhones and the stuff like you
- 9:46know how on iPhones you you get blue messages or green messages
- 9:49whether it's not it's from Android or the iPhone network,
- 9:51right? Some narcissists are texting you
- 9:54from an iPhone just to make sure that they messages are still are
- 9:59still blue just to make sure they still got those blue
- 10:03messages just to make sure that that message is still blue.
- 10:07They are texting you still blue texting you still blue texting
- 10:15you. But that's what goes on right
- 10:18there, man. I'm I'm dead serious.
- 10:20I find it best to ignore them to get them to stop.
- 10:22Sometimes I'm just I was like I said earlier, that could work
- 10:25sometimes, but as long if as long as I'm getting through, I'm
- 10:30still look, I can send an auto message.
- 10:33I'm not you look, I can if I'm unblocked, I can send auto
- 10:36messages throughout the day to get you like that.
- 10:40I can send a auto message. I can literally if you if I'm
- 10:46unblocked, I can literally just send an auto message to message
- 10:49you 345 times a day. I'm not even it's not even me.
- 10:52It's just automatically doing it because I'm unblocked.
- 10:55You see what I'm saying? That's how some narcissists will
- 10:56drain you right there. They say how they want to make
- 10:58sure that they self act, have access.
- 11:00This boat that's look, that's two birds, one stone.
- 11:02I still have access and I'm also simultaneously draining you.
- 11:06You see how that works right there?
- 11:07That's the mentality. That's how I go right there,
- 11:10y'all? That's what I'm just saying.
- 11:12Sometimes you got to block their ass and keep them blocked.
- 11:16You win. This is how this is how you win.
- 11:21This is how seriously this is how you win right here, man
- 11:24Y'all know, I just want y'all to win.
- 11:25That really is the point of me doing a lot of these videos is
- 11:28the fact that I really seriously, truly just want y'all
- 11:31to win. Absolutely.
- 11:33But also y'all, if you're in a New York City area on June the
- 11:362nd, I'm coming. It's live and in person, just
- 11:39like I'm doing AQ and A at the end of this, I'm doing a live in
- 11:42person question and answer session in New York City.
- 11:47Get all your questions answered. You can find more information at
- 11:50the mental illness dot net slash events.
- 11:54I'll drop it in New York City June the 2nd Mental
- 11:56illness.net/events. Go ahead and get registered up.
- 11:59I'll see you all in New York. But yeah, that's what I was just
- 12:02telling you. This is what narcissists want to
- 12:04do this. This is what they want to do to
- 12:06you. And it just to keep, just to
- 12:08drain you, just to make you sick, just to hurt your
- 12:11feelings. They want to do all of this
- 12:13stuff And does it work? Yes, it it does work, man.
- 12:17I'm just telling you this is the mindset.
- 12:19It does work like and sometimes they'll just text you because
- 12:24they want look, sometimes text messaging is just bait.
- 12:28It's just bait. It's just text message.
- 12:30As y'all notice right here, a text message or an e-mail is
- 12:33also a form of a Hoover. Yep, right in is right in
- 12:39Manhattan. The truth, lady yeah, is right.
- 12:41It's right in Manhattan. I'm Manhattan, Manhattan.
- 12:45I think it's near the Central Park.
- 12:47I think I think I'm not I'm I'm New York ignorant, but it's
- 12:49definitely in Manhattan. But yeah, y'all, yes, text
- 12:54messaging sometimes is a all the time is a form of a Hoover.
- 12:58A Hoover is a is any unwanted contact.
- 13:03That's what a Hoover is. Any unwanted contact from me to
- 13:07you is a Hoover. So text messaging, even if it's
- 13:09a :) or I heart, look, I'll go back and heart a message from
- 13:14four years ago in our text messaging thread to try to
- 13:18Hoover, Hoover you who just tried to bait you into
- 13:21responding. Why did you like that message
- 13:24from 17 years ago? Oops.
- 13:28I was just going through our past and I just wanted to see.
- 13:33I just was remembering the good times and I just wanted to
- 13:37scroll back a little bit and see how things were doing.
- 13:41And we wanted to do that. And so I didn't really mean to
- 13:44like it. But now that I have your
- 13:46attention, do you want to talk? I miss you, I really do.
- 13:53No, no, no. Block them man, block them,
- 13:59block them, block them. I delete them all.
- 14:02Good for you, good for you. Delete the threads.
- 14:04It takes a point. It takes a point right there
- 14:05where you get to the, it takes, you know, power to get to that
- 14:08point where you delete the thread.
- 14:10Anyway, y'all, I got time for a few minutes for a question and
- 14:12answer for Q&A. Drop your questions in the chat
- 14:15and we're going to chat. So have you tried making your
- 14:17media accounts private so your friends can see your social
- 14:19media? Yeah, sometimes.
- 14:20Sometimes you don't want to have to do that because if you like
- 14:23posting on social media, you like being public.
- 14:26I understand that. But sometimes taking a break can
- 14:28help you out. Write that too.
- 14:30Can't believe you're alive. Just got her new to the channel.
- 14:33I'm curious to find out more about my narcissistic sister.
- 14:37So I got I got a couple videos on my YouTube channel about
- 14:39narcissistic siblings. I decide.
- 14:43I did decide, I did not decide to make it private because that
- 14:47business work for. Yeah.
- 14:48There you go. That's it.
- 14:50Sometimes you don't want to have to get to that point where you
- 14:52have to shut your social media down to keep this bastard at
- 14:55Bay, right? They don't seem fair, but
- 14:58sometimes you you get it. It can help you as you're moving
- 15:01forward. It can help you out right there.
- 15:03But you don't want to have to get to that point where you're
- 15:04just like I'm. Tired man, I have to leave my
- 15:05social media. Damn, I have to leave.
- 15:07My social media because of you. Damn.
- 15:09Damn, that's just it's got a crazy right there.
- 15:15How they want no matter you. Yeah, they narcissists.
- 15:18They typically don't care about how you feel.
- 15:21I'm glad mine hasn't figured out how to auto text.
- 15:23Yeah, I just learned how to do it the other day.
- 15:26They leave you alone regardless. Once they have the new the new
- 15:29feeling and communications they want from someone else, No.
- 15:32So sometimes that's true, but they will absolutely be in a
- 15:35full blown new relationship and keep messaging you.
- 15:38Some of them will. They'll keep messaging you, keep
- 15:41texting you, keep showing up at keep keep showing up at your
- 15:43house, keep stalking you. I look, sometimes they'll have a
- 15:46new supply and somehow, some way, shape or form convince the
- 15:52new supply to stalk you with them.
- 15:56Which is literally bird brain. Yeah, I've never seen some bird
- 16:00brain shit like that in my life. It's so bird brain.
- 16:03You're stalking your new boyfriend's ex-girlfriend with
- 16:06them. You just met them.
- 16:07What the hell are you doing? You driving by the ex's house
- 16:12with this person? For what?
- 16:13What are you doing? That's bird brain.
- 16:14Activity. That's bird brain.
- 16:17No. What we doing?
- 16:22Yeah, that's bird. There's absolute bird brain
- 16:25behavior right there. Absolute bird brain.
- 16:28You stalking the ex, but you don't know him.
- 16:34Yeah, that's, that's crazy. Yeah, they are weird.
- 16:37Yeah, you have, you have some stuff going on right there.
- 16:39You, you have to have some emotions, some mental stuff
- 16:42going on right there to want to stalk somebody else's ex that
- 16:47you just met this person again, y'all mental illness.net from my
- 16:51one on ones from my coaching, my support group, I have a support
- 16:54group called the Mental Healers. If y'all are looking for a
- 16:56community to help you heal, help you grow, help you thrive, look
- 17:00no further than my Mental Healers support group.
- 17:02You can find everything@mentalhealness.net.
- 17:08They they start to get in your nerves.
- 17:10Absolutely Yep. Howdy, from Ontario.
- 17:13What's going on? I just can't stand the thought
- 17:16that he could watch my life from afar.
- 17:17So I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's that's cool right there.
- 17:19Let's say to Jennifer, there's nothing wrong with that.
- 17:20That's cool. You don't have to be a public
- 17:21figure. I don't really like sometimes
- 17:23people don't want to want to have to take it that far, right.
- 17:27Sometimes the one that's getting hurt is the one that messaged
- 17:29the other. Yep, Yep, Yep.
- 17:31But anyway, y'all, I got to hop off this thing.
- 17:34Y'all be safe. Make sure you get registered for
- 17:36the workshop Mental illness.net/events.
- 17:39I got to hop off this thing. I have a call I got to do in
- 17:43life like 8 minutes. So I I got to get prepped for my
- 17:47one O 1 my zoom call. But thank you for tuning in.
- 17:50Hit the subscribe button if you haven't.
- 17:52And as always, y'all always, mental illness is our peace.