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☀️ Ennea-Summer: Enneagram 4 The Individualist · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: If you are new here, then welcome to community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: So let's get started.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hey friend, this Inea Summer episode is focused on the Type 4.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Today I will share what sets a Type 4 apart.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'll introduce an upstream practice for fostering emotional stability.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to feature a powerful story from an extraordinary wholehearted type 4 client who is also a wholehearted coach.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then wholehearted coach Deanna Sudum, who happens to be a type 4, will close with a prayer for peace and consistency.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: If you know an Enneagram 4 or you are a 4, I hope you take some notes and share in this fun and easy way to learn about all nine Enneagram types this summer.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, if you are multitasking and you're running the trails or hiking mountains or whatever you're finding fun to do right now while you listen, remember you can click the link in the show notes to get the guide sheet on the Enneagram 4, as well as the other eight Enneagram types.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Here's a quick snapshot of the Enneagram 4.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: A four's core fear is being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 4's core desire is to be unique and special and to find their authentic self.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: The four's core weakness is envy.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: They feel that they are tragically flawed, that something foundational must be missing inside of them, and that others possess qualities that they lack.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 4's core longing is to know that they are seen and loved for exactly who they are, special and unique.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Now let's talk about the Enneagram wings.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, Enneagram wings are just the two personality types on either side of the primary personality type.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, for the type 4, the wings are the type 3 and the type 5.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: One of the wings tends to be used a little bit more than others, which just adds a different dimension and depth to the primary type.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like salt and pepper adds flavor to a potato or cream and sugar, changes the experience of coffee.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: The main type dominates a person's perception, but the wings do influence and impact, either adding internal conflicts or even adding to our childhood experience and possible wounds that we might have.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Ultimately, understanding your Enneagram wing just helps you mend those spaces and places so that way you can experience greater balance and forward momentum in life, love, and work.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram for Wing Three tend to be more extroverted, often competitive, upbeat, ambitious, maybe a little bit more emotional, and focused on image.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram for Wing Five tends to be more introverted, focused on gathering information and intellect.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: They are likely more reserved, observant, can be a little bit more eccentric, and of course have intellectual depth, but may struggle with emotional connection.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now here are the details on the Intelligence Center for specifically the Enneagram 4.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: This helps us understand the Enneagram 4's decision-making strength.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: And their strength is associated with what is known as the heart triad.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: So when the types that are in the heart triad, and those types are the two, three, and four, they tend to react with a feeling and then they integrate physical sensations and thoughts into their responses or into their decision.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: The struggle often with the types in the hard triad is with shame.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: This emotional struggle often influences their thoughts and actions.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: The hard triad is characterized by a desire for significance, which essentially is driven by need to be acknowledged and esteemed by others.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: For the four specifically, significance is placed in their unique role in their world and their community and ultimately a sense of belonging.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram 4's communication pattern falls within the withdrawing stance in the Enneagram, and this means that communication pattern tends to create distance from others.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: This personality stance or communication pattern prioritizes personal space, autonomy, and self-reflection.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: The positive intention of this communication stance is not to be overly dependent or even expect others to find a solution.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: The three types in the withdrawn communication pattern tend to get frustrated with those who are too bossy or too accommodating.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the withdrawing pattern communication types struggle the most with the constant demand of interaction with others.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Their strength is being past focus.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: What has been informs their right now.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Due to the Enneagram 4's communication pattern, they will likely ask what went well, what didn't, and they learn and teach from past experiences.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: They are all about stories, experiences, reflections, memories, and nostalgia.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Now, have you noticed those lines on the Enneagram diagram, the ones that connect all the different types?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: They are specific lines that denote stress and growth for each Enneagram.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So here are the specific details about the lines connected to the Enneagram 4.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: When an Enneagram 4 reacts to stress and is living in unawareness, they tend to go to the low or average side of the Enneagram 2.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: So aloof 4s suddenly become overinvolved and clingy, they will try to manipulate others into loving them.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: They begin to believe that getting attention from others will replace their emptiness.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: But when an Enneagram 4 does growth work and responds with purpose and intentionality, they're going to exhibit the high side or healthy side of the type 1.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: So envious and turbulent fours will become more objective and principled, they'll become more disciplined and grounded and are more productive and focus on doing what is good for others.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Remember though, your starting point doesn't have to be your stuck point.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: So when an Enneagram 4 practices resting rhythms of solitude, if the practice teaches them to be present to themselves, God, and others.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this ultimately opens the door to encounter Jesus, the true originalist.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Broken-hearted moments are transformed into wholehearted healing as a four declares these truth statements.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: May I feel truly seen by God.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: May I be at peace with my authentic self?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: And may I give the gift of belonging in my own skin with the unique life I have.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, the Heavenly Father sees every individual, so be affirmed by the presence of the Holy One, who truly celebrates one of a kind beauty.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: When a four rests in solitude, they can learn to take a break from their inner emotional turmoil and angst and receive the truth of what God truly sees.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: A four can draw on their acceptance from a loving God and use that to be empowered to give back in relationships with clarity and calm.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Author AJ Sherrill advises Enneagram fours to observe the rhythm of feasting with those they trust, and this helps to spawn a sense of joy.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: The day of the church calendar to call to mind is Resurrection Sunday, which is known as Easter.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: This is a day of celebration that true light has overcome the darkness of Good Friday and Saturday.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Easter reminds the four that no matter how dark their circumstances are within their inner world, joy does come in the morning and someday will remain forever.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I am so excited for you to meet a wholehearted client who is now a wholehearted coach, Kira Joy Craig.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, as I have disclaimed before, I promise not everyone who is a client becomes a coach.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: But as you can see, a few people have reaped such reward and benefit from coaching that they want to give it to others.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to share a little bit here about Kira Joy.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: She's been a lifetime writer and observer of life.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: She really is gifted in that area.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: She was born with cerebral palsy, so her life has been filled with therapy appointments and loads of trials.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: But she holds a BA in history from Gettingsburg College, where ultimately she met Jesus.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Kira Joy has spent the last two decades supporting herself by working as a financial secretary in the family business, but she leads a quiet and ordinary life as much as she can.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: In the last few years, she has turned her attention to inclusion and justice work for disabled people in the church, as well as writing and encouraging others who are living in a wilderness season.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, my name is Huey Joey Craig.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: I am a widow and coach living in upstate New York, and my whole journey started in 2022 and I'm the Amy for coursing, but I started studying any real in depth in 2018.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: That was when my best friend introduced me to the topology.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: We have long been personality games as husband junkies and we did my springs, we did disc higher dis strength minus as part of my work, but I never heard about the AneRAM and to be honest it looked weird to me.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: It looked a little bit close to astrology and numerology which I've always been against studying because of the spiritual unifications.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: However, the anagram is not that it's just a tool to use to um to a deep dive into your own personality and your own patterns of motivation and behavior.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: I first mistraped myself as a six because I'm very loyal to my job and my church and my family and I've been at my workplace for over twenty two years and the same goes for my church.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm very loyal to the organizations I'm a part of.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: And my I heard sexist have the inner community.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: I knew I was a sex because my brain was shut up.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I knew that like I won't wake up but I am and think I was just in a board reading because my brain never shuts off.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: I always have ideas.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: I always wake up with the download of like a post or a message and so I thought that that was the initially.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Once I read a little bit more I read the four description and heard about the four and it didn't really resonate with me at first because it talked about being depressed and moody and like angry and talking about I am all those things, but I'm also a very high functioning person with a lot of feet on my my table and a lot of ions in my fire eyes.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: My nickname is Shiwa Joey, Princess of Power.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so I didn't really understand or identify with the idea of being always like self-medicating and depressed, even though I do have those tendencies.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes that wasn't the mark of my life.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: I have to be with policy, so I have to push myself to do anything because people have very low expensions of people with disabilities and my whole life I've been proving people wrong and I've been extremely expensive for my whole life.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: So the fair also I was I can draw or paint or string for my knife, so I I didn't really resonate with the artist, but once I heard that fools can hold joy and pain together, that it is my whole life.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I have chronic pain in my left foot due to CP.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: I have chronic back pain every day in my life, but that doesn't hold me back from enjoying my life.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: I push through the pain I got things done and I make sure that my friends and my family and everyone understands that I walk home to work in pain and I will push through my physical limitations.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: I am known for ice gating and for lots climbing and for melanin climbing.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: I really enjoy pushing my boundaries physically and emotionally, so the four didn't really throw me until I understood that I was a self-preservation for and before that I heard about being um a highly sensitive person for the very first time.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like anything immediately any room.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of my highly sensitive attributes were linked to being suppressed.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: I was very much aware of my surroundings.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: I literally can walk into the room and feel other people's anxiety, depression and pain.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: I tell that people and they think I'm nuts because they don't feel the vibes that's for us.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: I do.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Some people can't read rooms.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: I walk into a room and I just either can chose or I get like and I tend to pick up on nuances and I tend to know about secrets before they come out because I observe people's behavior and knowing they are keeping something and this fits very well with the wings.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: The five wing is the observer and the three wing is the performer.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I tell people I have equally balanced wings because I get very fierce.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: I need to be but my three wing helps me get stuff done.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm very, very thankful that that and my one in health helps me too.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: The only thing I really don't understand is how people when I'm stressed out.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: But I know from future and stuff though they actually help me preserve relationships because if I was isolating and despondent when I'm stressed out, I will retreat from life and break ties and actually it's a blessing that I go toward people doing stress and that maintains my friendships.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: After a major work transition, I went from working from the office to working from home and it really helped me understand my relationship time as a past focused person and my feeling dominant and my feeling repressed stance really helped me to understand why I procrastinate on things anyway.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: I would say that those two pieces of information were worth the cost of any coaching program or certification or life coach experience because now I can move to health and get stuff done in my mind and I can rest in my tunedness with people.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: My stress so I know that now.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that it's a very important piece of the puzzle to understand where your time is oriented to.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: And this year I decided to join her collective of coaches because I need the support and come moderating around my work as a coach and writer.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: And from being doing repressed, I know that I need to have co-booking spaces with other people on Zoom and that's been very helpful.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: The Enagram is not the main thing for transformation Jesus and I use a myriad of tools and ideas in my coaching.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: I focus on Helping women take care of it in the modern seasons other lives in order to doubt.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Using the process and we are doing I have focused on looking with people with disabilities.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: However, I don't know that most people have been born in this for different reasons.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: So the disability doesn't really want them to be in the modernist.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: But I think I was really to that.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: Now I really suggest helping women survive in the modernist and God has a European fort between the water in the wasteland.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to make people who just don't know how to get out of the modernist.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure to follow the links in the show notes so you can follow her on Instagram and learn more by her way of doing life.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: And now, Deanna Sudom will share her prayer and blessing for the Enneagram Four.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Fellow four friends, you have been chosen by God to reflect his creativity.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: This manifests in many ways through words and art and how you show up in this world unlocking its beauty and creator for others to see.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: As four is like it's straight, I sense the boldness in this scripture will speak to the wars that sometimes happen within.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: It says in James 4, verse 1 to 10 in the message version, where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think they just happen?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Think again.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: They come about because you want your own way and fight for it deep inside yourself.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And why not?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: You end up enemies of God in his way.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: And do you suppose God doesn't care?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Proverb has it that he's a fiercely jealous lover.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's common knowledge that God goes against the willful proud, God gives grace to the willing humble, so let God work his will in you, yell aloud no to the devil and watch him scamper.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Say a quiet yes to God, and he'll be there in no time.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Quit dabbling in sin, purify your inner life, quit playing the field, hit bottom and cry your eyes out.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: The fun and games are over.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Get serious, really serious.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Get down on your knees before the master.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's the only way you'll get on your feet.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Father, that you are the one that helps your creative ones get on their feet.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: The time in your presence will be the difference maker.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, will you shift the longing for things seemingly missing in themselves and trust that you have given them everything they need for life and godliness?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for their ability to sit in the deep with others, experiencing pain and loss.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: As in Jewish practice, type fours can sit Shiva with people offering their presence instead of answers.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for their empathetic hearts and compassionate generosity.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Father, divide and discern where a critical mind turns into a critical spirit and turn the alert into an indicator to bring all things to you, Lord.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: Remind them when solitude is required to bring balance and stir them to intercession for others to get them out of their heads when they feel stuck.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Release them to journal their prayers to you, expressing creatively to their king.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: Father, remind them that their feelings do not define them, but are merely descriptors to pay attention to, to be able to name it and give it to you so they can move forward.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude breeds contentment for you, type four.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Father, help them to create this practice to speak praise and thankfulness to and for you.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, thank you that you have knit these ones together in a unique way, and we praise you for that.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let them never forget that you see them for who they are, that you love them for who they are, and that you find value in them as is.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Will you build their identity on your truth alone?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name I pray.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: As we wrap up our discussion on the Enneagram 4, may today's discussion and stories empower you to find stability in your depth and creativity.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Friend, keep embracing your uniqueness.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: And join me again for more empowering episodes of this art.