Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / David Cummings - The Intersection of Fatherhood, Empathy, Diversity & Accepting Others (CBS Sports)

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David Cummings - The Intersection of Fatherhood, Empathy, Diversity & Accepting Others (CBS Sports) · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast, and, as I promised, we do finally have a new and exciting sponsor that's going to be joining us over the next 13 weeks or so, and they it is called the authentic edge podcast, which is going to be launching very, very soon.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It is a podcast that is led by the fantastic and successful Jason DeLuca and executive sales and people leader at Dexian, as well as with a Paul DeFrancenzo, who is a global sales leader at indeedcom.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: This podcast, authentic edge, as I mentioned, is, is launching in the next month and it's really about a journey into the heart and genuine relationships into the workplace.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: So they're going to talk about uncovering the profound impact that authenticity has on establishing instant trust, fostering long-term partnerships, as well as creating serendipitous connections that evolve into endearing business and personal relationships, which is exactly how I would describe my relationship with Jason and Paul.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, let's get right to the next episode, and I hope that you check out the authentic edge wherever you consume your podcasts.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: We are in season five and we continue to have just some fantastic guests that have have entered this journey of this journey of podcasting and fatherhood, and, as you know, in February we had our first women enter the show, which was beyond fun.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: And as we continue down this journey, our next guest comes to us by the talented Dale Favors, who you've heard about multiple times this podcast.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: You've heard him in season two when he came on and we had this powerful conversation on on fatherhood and race and um, right, the height of black lives, matter and social unrest, and if you have not listened that episode, go back and listen to it, because dale was, uh, absolutely amazing.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: So, anyway, our next guest, though, is his name is david cummings, and he is the senior director of race and culture at cbs sports.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: He's a maroon tiger at Morehouse, learn about that.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're going to talk to David the dad and learn how he's working hard, or continuing to work hard, to be that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Cummings, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, casey, I appreciate the time and the opportunity to speak with you and I love the name and the title and the purpose.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: So you know again, I'm sure, as you know, anytime Dale says hey, I got a friend, I want to meet, I want you to meet, and that's all it takes.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: You know other than that.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And then you know, always feel open and free and just available for anybody who Dale either recommends or suggests that I talk to.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm grateful.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: So I don't know if you've heard this verb.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to create a new word.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: In the English language it's called being Daled.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And so what Dale does is he just he calls you I'm sure you've experienced this.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: He calls you and then he, and all of a sudden he goes hey, hold up.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: And then there's a pause, and then all of a sudden you hear another voice pop up and now you're on a party line without you've not agreed to this, but dale just makes it happen.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: And every time I'm like so now I'm I try to dale, dale sometimes okay okay.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: So I'm trying to like spread that, if you got dale, that if people know what I'm talking about.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: People know you know, you know what it is.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: So I have been daled um yes, multiple times, to the point now where Dale knows all he has to do is text me or email me and I'll follow up, which kind of makes his life a little easier.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: So yes, I've been Daled multiple times.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Which is why we're here today, thanks to the man.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: So, all right, dave, we always start each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a father today?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: each episode with gratitude, so tell me what are you most grateful for as a father today?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: You know, as I will tell you today, I am most grateful that my dad who turns 90 on March 13, can still walk in my house and yell and scream at me and tell me what I'm not doing right.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: He doesn't yell and scream but there's nothing I could do.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: That's like 100% correct.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: But he's able to walk, talk, drive his own car.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: You know, you still have to make sure we get him to the hospital every now and then when he doesn't take his medicine.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: But that is, I would say, is what I'm most grateful for.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And, of course, you know, my family.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: We're all healthy and my kids are doing well.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: My wife and I are happily married.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: But when you ask me, like, what am I gratified with?
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: What I'm grateful for really gratitude, I always start with my dad, because he's, you know, he's still here and he's still here and he's still healthy.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: That is unbelievable.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: What a blessing.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I thought you were going to say March 12th, which is my birthday.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Ok, all right, your pops already love him because he's a Pisces.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah Well, my wife's March 3rd, so she's actually sacrificing her 60th for my dad's 90th.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: So, while she's sacrificing it that weekend before she will, I will make sure that I make up to it because we're having a big party for him.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: So you know it's just going to be a good time.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so happy soon-to-be birthday to you.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I appreciate it.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I lost my dad December 29, 2021.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: And in season three I was during COVID and so it was like as tough, and he lived in an assisted living facility for years and so he kind of lost track of a lot of his friends and it really wasn't.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: We couldn't do like a formal funeral, right, which is kind of bummer.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: But what was nice is I feel like I had a 52 week funeral because every episode, every week, I dedicated the episode to my dad and those that listen to this podcast.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: There's been a lot of stories and my dad could drop the best God damn it like intense, god damn it, and he would make exactly how you giggled.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: It'd make me and my sister laugh as kids, and so whenever I hear someone drop a good GD bomb, I'm like that's probably my pop, someplace.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: He's, he's somewhere.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: So well, what I'm grateful for is so we are in February.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: This episode will come out in a month or so.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: We're right in the middle of high school basketball and we lost my not we.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I didn't't play, but I feel like I'm part of it.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: We lost the doozy last night, um, but I just love watching my daughter.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: So I have a 17 year old son who's going to go play golf at college small little school in oregon, and then my daughter's a sophomore.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: And when they have to go through adversity, I just love watching it, as hard as it is sometimes you just because that's where the growth is right, you know, and uh, it's just fun to see them bounce back.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: And you know, we have.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: We got a game Saturday and then another one next week, but we're hopefully can try to keep this state run going.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: But just grateful for these lessons.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I get to watch and, as a former athlete, watch them go through it too.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can still remember losing the state finals in football and losing in the state sectional finals in basketball and just thinking what could I have done more?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's amazing, the experience of playing sports, growing up playing sports and then thinking about it, you know now, as something that man, you, just you, just you don't realize how much you are, you are learning.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: You know, like even right now I'm actually a council person in my hometown and we're going through the local school district is looking to redo one of the baseball fields, the baseball field, and it's getting a little challenge from some local residents who are, you know, first it was the cutting down the trees, then it was, you know, the runoff from the artificial turf into the water system.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And one of the reasons that school district needs council or township approval is because a athletic field is not considered an educational facility.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not a classroom, and so I pushed back on that because, when I look back on it, in the four years I was in high school and even growing up in middle school, I spent more time with my coaches than I did teachers.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: You know, my coaches.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: We spent three hours a day in practice and then games, riding the buses, and you know, in those practices that's a classroom, you know.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: So an athletic field to me is, particularly in high school, is a classroom, you know, and your teacher, your coach, who's probably a teacher in the school system as a coach, is still a teacher, yeah, and so, with that designation, just it just hit me as something that really needs to be discussed because, yes, you may not be going over academics, but you're doing everything else on the field of play, Life skills.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: There are rules, there are things that you have to share, you have to get done.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: You do nothing on your own and to be successful, you all have to work together and everyone has to do their part, and at the head of that is the coach who, basically, is directing and telling you what you need to do.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Or the coach is, I should say, because there's never just one coach.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: So I just digressed into that, thinking about you know what you're telling about your daughter and your son, and I still follow my high school sports programs.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: You know you still feel for the kids and when you're watching them out there, you know you're still out there, totally yeah, so I can definitely understand where you're watching them out there.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: You know you're still out there, so totally yeah, so I can definitely understand where you're coming from.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: I love you share that, because I mean I think about.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I wasn't when I was in corporate and I'm doing my own thing, but I was in corporate for 20 years and we used to always hire athletes, like we wanted people who played sports.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: You learned about teamwork, you learned about diversity, you learned about how to grit All these lessons as dads were teaching.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: But I mean, I couldn't tell you when the war of 1812 was, but I, I can remember, you know.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I'll know I can think about more life experiences that taught me about.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: You know whether it was a big injury in high school that impacted my life I'll be 48 in March and that still impacts me.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I like the lesson learned.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: It takes me back to that moment when I feel adversity.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I've been through that, this is nothing, I got this.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, well, cool, well, bring me inside the the cummings huddle, talk about, maybe, how you and your wife met, and then a little bit about what your, your family's, up to yeah.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: So my wife and I met at a Newark airport, at the gate.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: At the time I was a sports writer with the New York Daily News, working out of New York, and she was.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: She had a travel agency in Fort Lauderdale, florida, and she was.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: She did, you know major events, major sporting events, provided packages for her, for clients.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So she was flying to Cleveland.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: It was a, it was a 1997 NBA all-star game.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: She was flying to Cleveland to, you know, work with her clients.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I was flying for work and, not to go into details, there's totally different stories of who approached who first.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: All I will say is that the first words ever spoken was she saying to me that she could have bought me a cup.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I could have bought her, asking me or telling me I could have bought her a cup of coffee for watching my bag.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: So she spoke to me first.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: And after that we ended up spending, we, we ended up talking after the plane, ended up spending a weekend together hanging out and then took an extra day.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: She was from Akron, ohio, so we drove up to Akron, I met her grandmother and next thing I know, two weeks later, I'm flying down to Fort Lauderdale for a weekend and we ended up, you know, kind of like long distance dating.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And then I got an assignment in April of, uh, I had to cover the heat magic playoffs, which put me in Miami and Florida.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: The series went five games, which was the maximum first round back then.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Long story short, I ended up literally staying in miami from april to june.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Um, it was the same year the knicks and the heat had a like seven game series.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So I covered miami, orlando, or miami beat orlando the magic, then they played the knicks, so I was back and forth up in new york and florida and then they beat the Knicks that year.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: That was a year that, uh, I don't know how long, how old your fans are here, but Charlie Ward got into it with, uh, pj Brown and so that series the Knicks ended up losing like five players and shorthanded loss, uh, he'd advanced to play the Bulls in the conference finals.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: So I literally was in miami, living in miami, for two and a half months.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Um, my landlord at the time loved it because basically he had a, I was, it was quiet in the apartment and I was paying him his check, uh, so then after that, um, while I was in miami.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: A job actually opened up at the Miami Herald covering the University of Miami.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I applied for it, got it and I moved to Miami in August of that year and we got married the following June.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Wow, so yeah.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And so that was the beginning of our relationship.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: And soon after we had our first son, david Jr, two years later, our daughter Elizabeth and our final daughter, catherine, in 2002.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: So, you know, lived down there for, lived there until 2001 and then moved back to New Jersey.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Once we had, once we had our second daughter, our second child, our daughter Elizabeth.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I tell people now I realize you don't know your financial status until you buy a house or look to buy a house.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: And so when we went house shopping I was like whoa, take care of family.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was making decent money for South Florida, but I was like no.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: So I ended up moving back to New York to work for a hip hop magazine called the Source, which back then was considered back then Magazines mattered in the 90s, 2000s and it was probably the preeminent urban hip hop magazine in the country Went back there, was doing good, moved up here, we found a house, you know, salary increased considerably and then that kind of flanged out because the 2000 dot-com boom occurred and so got laid off.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm wouldn't say laid off, my section of the magazine got shut down, but it was the best thing that happened.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: They say one door closes, another opens.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: So when that door closed it opened up to me to get into ESPN, the magazine, and that was the beginning.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: That was part of right when my career sports writing career was awesome.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: But what I realized once we had our two children is when I was a sports writer I was on the road anywhere you know, every weekend from September to April minimum, sometimes June, july depending on how far teams went, working every weekend.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: So it was a lot of travel and raising a family.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: It didn't fit.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: So that's why I went from being a writer to an editor, which kind of gave me more of a nine to five, a lot less travel and ability to be around.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Like, if I was a sports writer, I don't know how many I hate to say it PTA meetings I would have missed.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: It really wouldn't have bothered me to miss PTA meetings, but it was about being a president.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: It was about being present, president and outsold from the kids from birth to teenage years and things like that, and so that was probably the best move I made career-wise, becoming an editor and being able to be a support system for my wife.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: She worked too, but we were able to be a team and we were able to, you know, really be there for our children but, more importantly, be there together.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: You know, like our kids, they know, they, they know there's no splitting daddy and mommy, because eventually daddy and mommy are going to talk to one another.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Um, so that was, uh, that was a good, that was a great thing, and, um, you know, so they would be a part of our chip, might be a part of my kid's life.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Um, you know, when you look at TV now, you look at sports journalists that you see on air, I know the life they live, you know, I know the travel that they're doing and I know what they're missing at home.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: You know, because you can't, you know, be everywhere and be you can't be everywhere.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Right, your work can consume you and I'm not saying I'm any more, I'm more of a father than they are or more of a dad or husband.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: You know, every relationship is different, but for me and my wife and our relationship, it was important that we did this together, love it.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I love.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I love that story because one, I think, meeting at the airport, what that's a cool story.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: But, um, I think, uh, for a dad or mom, listen, that's traveling, that's stressed out, that you know you don't have to do that the whole life there's.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: You know, don't don't be defined by what we do Sometimes.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I think, sometimes we get wrapped up in that and then it's like you're stuck and I, I, I, always, I'm a big believer of the word believe, which is behind me.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: People can't see it, but I, I, it's a powerful word and you can believe that something else might be better for you out there.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: And you know, I traveled a lot too in my 30s.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: Never wanted to, but I would always try to be back.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I didn't miss much, but when I did, it was like and even now in my entrepreneurial journey I'm living, david I had to miss one of my daughter's high school basketball game this year and I just said I said, honey, riley, I'm so sorry I got to miss your game.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: She's like dad, it's not that big a deal.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I said, yeah, it is, it's a huge deal.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: And, um, I just want you to know that, like these, this is stuff that really matters to me and so luckily I could still see the stream, that they streamed it.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: But, um, I think just being at present and home and sometimes you don't always have to say the right thing, but just you're, there, is, is, is is important for for kids and families to see.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: And well, so you talk about your pops 90 in March.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: That is fantastic.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Talk about what was life like growing up for you and the values and lessons your parents taught you.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Now that you're a dad, yes, I would say that I grew up in a town that's very diverse, always been diverse, known for its diversity.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: A town that's very diverse, always been diverse, known for its diversity.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: And at a time where my mom and dad my mom got a GED, my dad, he dropped out of school when he was 13.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: He had a bad his leg.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: He was cleaning up some leaves, raking leaves, and leaves were on fire.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: So his leg caught on fire and ended up staying out of school for about a year and a half, and so I'm going back into the 40s here.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: So you know it's not like today where you can do remote learning to stay on top.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: So you know he was not able to complete school and with the leg injury, it's not like he could join the army.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: So he got into construction and he was a construction laborer and so, basically, blue collar household Parents met when my mom already had my mom had four kids by previous marriage.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Her and my dad got together and I popped out.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I was an oops baby, but you know they raised.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: They raised all of us.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I think at the time my oldest sister, my sister pam, is 10 years older than me.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: My sister tracy, 12.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Then I had two brothers who were younger than them, but so we had five of us.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: We were raised together.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Um never considered them my step brothers or anything is our family.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: My dad than my stepbrothers or anything is our family.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: My dad was considered there.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: They consider him their dad because he raised them and what I saw was a mother get up every morning at 530 to go to work, dad get up at six to go down to the labor hall to get an assignment and over time, as I got older, realized, oh, my mom was one back then.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: She took overtime all the time.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: You know those two hours extra overtime that's what she used to put into her Christmas fund, and so we didn't have a lot of money, but they had enough to feed us and make sure that we were.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: You know, we were all self-facet fairly early.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I've been working since I was 12 years old.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: That was one thing and that was something I learned from my brothers and sisters.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: We, you know, once you became a teenager, you worked.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's amazing, I never thought about it then but being able to buy my own pair of sneakers or own jeans, you know that helped my parents tremendously.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: You know that was a lot of money.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: They did not have to spend, but they spent money that when I needed.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: You know, one of the best things my dad always told me is you know, you know, I don't care about what you want, I care about what you need.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And so the wants I had to handle.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: The needs he handled, they handled, and so it was a great upbringing.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Youngest of five, my brothers my oldest brother, chucky, was my first hero.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: My brother, reesey, was like my athletic hero.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: So I was the youngest, but they always had to take me every place.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: David, that's back then.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: They were the babysitters and everything.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: So I always had somewhat of an older spirit.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: But I would say, growing up in a town that I grew up friends.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: We were always buddies, playing on the streets, going at the park.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Everybody talks about how kids today don't go outside, things like that.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I'm from a generation that's all we did.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: We found our own fun.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: But in my hometown, as you matriculated through school, we have what's called a magnet school system.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: It was one of the first in the country at busing.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: So we were always in an integrated school system and kids never really knew all the things outside.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: We would just say, oh yeah, that's my friend, that's my friend.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: And then athletics allowed us, we played sports together and so I've always said that.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: After allowed us, you know, we play sports together and so I've always said that.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: When I graduated, after I graduated from high school, moved on to college, you know, and grades were not.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: Grades are important, don't get me wrong, but I learned more social skills that helped me in my professional career than any math, science, language arts class ever took history, whatever.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Social skills, being able to get along and understand and respect and work with others that's the biggest takeaway that I've always taken from my hometown Again, I'm talking from the wealthiest of wealthy, poorest of poor any religion.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: It was a melting pot and to this day it's somewhat there.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: It's a little bit different because the gentrification is not what it used to be.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, my that, that foundation of just being around diverse people, diverse religions, really really gave me an ability to work with anybody and appreciate and have empathy for anyone and appreciate and have empathy for anyone.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: So you know, that was the that's, I think, is the foundation.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: It's always been like the one thing that's allowed me to work with others and find whatever little success I've had professionally.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: I apologize if I missed it.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: What was your hometown?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Montclair, New Jersey.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: That's right 12 miles outside of Manhattan, very suburban township.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I apologize if I missed it.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: What was your hometown?
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Montclair, new Jersey.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: That's right because we have a train station that goes right into Manhattan, so you have a very wealthy, wealthy enclave.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Over the last 30 years, prior to the train opening up, you know, it was really a middle-class working township and now it's kind of lost that character.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: But a great town, wouldn't rather?
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: You know, strong sports, tradition, every sport you can imagine.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, we had ultimate Frisbee back when I was in high school.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: So you know, yeah, just a great place to really grow up.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Jets or Giants, neither Pulled for both.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Grew up a Cowboys fan.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: What?
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: How did that happen?
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Because they were America's team.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Actually, it happened because my first memory of anything was watching the Cowboys and the Dolphins in the Super Bowl.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: That had to be 73, 72 season, because the next big event for me was Secretariat winning the Triple Crown.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: And that was my foray into sports.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: And every kid might be like my dad read the paper every morning.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: So I read the paper and I read the sports section like he did, and that's how my interest in sports and sports writing really kicked off.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: So I still remember it.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Remember it's amazing, literally, that I'm working at CBS sports because NFL today you know that was my Sunday, you know show and the daily news was my paper.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Um, and I'm talking from the time I was like seven, um, I was probably four, four or five, four or five when the, when that season of of, uh, watching the Cowboys win they beat the Dolphins, and then watching Secretariat.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: But that's what I did.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I followed sports, which then I started reading the front of the paper, which got my interest in news.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: So by the time I was, I can't remember when I didn't watch the news and sports, that was my television experience.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: And reading, you know, reading newspapers.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: So it's amazing how many things you did kind of like and influence where you are.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, even you said that you make.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: You took me back to like when I was a kid.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I remember I would wait at the front door for the paper man, paper boy, to throw the paper.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I'd go out out, I'd get it and I would just look at box scores and right, I'm dating myself here.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: But there's a thing called the pacific coast league, which is a minor league and I remember I saw jose canseco play in tacoma, washington, when I was 12 years old.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I remember looking at the the calgary we used to be the mariner seattle mariner farm club and I would literally go through every box score.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: And just now my son which is hilarious he does that, but with his phone, I mean he just is like right, and he's doing it for fantasy.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Fantasy, but and but.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, we lost our Sonics.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: I used to love the NBA.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: I don't, I couldn't, David, I, I couldn't tell you 10 NBA players right now.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Okay right now.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's so.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: It's.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: A, it's embarrassing, but b, it's because I don't have a team right, um and but my son, he gives me a hard time but he knows all about that stuff, you know, and I'm hoping that we get a team back, but uh, yeah, you're on the list, I think it's.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: uh, seattle and vegas are probably the two places the nba is going to go to we got such good hoop out here, such good basketball out here.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys lost a team.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: It was unfair how you lost it.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was rough.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: I hope that no one else has to.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: That's why I hope we have an expansion.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: I don't want to take another city's team.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Oh no, you'll get an expansion team.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll get an expansion team, but not at that's.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: yeah, Familiar with the area Good memories, well as you think of values um hard work.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I'd imagine resilience, like if you had to say two or three that mom and dad taught you, that were really, really important to you, that you've shared with your three kids.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Uh, empathy, uh, that was that's number one.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Um, really accepting people or putting yourself in other's shoes, um, patience.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: My father was like you know, everything's not going to come fast.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: You know, you have to be very patient.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: And I think the other one is really you said it earlier believe and believe in yourself.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: You know, no, my dad, my mom, they never, they never put strict restrictions on us.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I remember one time again, you, the things you remember.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: We're in a car driving.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I started singing and my brother was like, oh, stop.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: My dad was like no, you keep on singing, you know, and I couldn't sing a bit, but he was like it was just that old thing, you didn't want somebody to think you couldn't do anything.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: You know, that was that, was it?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Like, don't, don't put any limitations on yourself, not the whole.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Believe it, you can achieve it, but just, you know, do not limit what you want to do.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: And and that's, and the great thing about that is in my profession, where you're dealing with A-list personalities, I've never looked at someone like they were better than me, you know, and I've been in the rooms with the biggest stars and biggest, you know, and it's just, they're people, and I think that that's that's like.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I've never asked for autograph or, you know, pictures and all those things, but just believe in yourself, have empathy for others.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: And you know, as my dad told my daughter, you know, one day, you know, he totally said, liz, it doesn't cost anything to be nice, you know, and so that's it, and it's hard sometimes, but it doesn't cost anything to be nice.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: And so that's what I try to do.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I try to and also Not not so much treat others as others would treat you or how you want to be treated, but treat others how they treat you individually.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: So you know, a lot of times we get out in the world, people have things, they have their own interaction with folks, and that try to, you know, that try to dictates how they think about them.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: They want you to think about them and I've always and this is something I learned from my wife, as funny as extended is like I treat people based on my personal relationships with them, right, I mean, I don't know what, or they're always I don't know what circumstances, others relationships and how that developed or didn't develop, but for me it's okay.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: How's that person treating me?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: That's what I got to go based on, you know, especially if someone may not have known for a while or things like that.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: So those are the values that I think I've been raised with.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: We tried to raise our children with um some.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I think my son David.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: He got patience.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: He's as patient as Job I mean it is.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: It's frustrating how patient he is, but he's also very mature.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: He lives out in LA now he's an, he's an animation and he's into what he wants to do.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: So he's very much his own person.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: No-transcript.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: She's a junior in college, a Spelman College in Atlanta, and she's thriving.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: And I think it's College of Spelman College in Atlanta and she's thriving.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: And I think it's one of the things about being the youngest you learn from your older brothers and sisters you can and cannot do, but also how to kind of like like she she's.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: She didn't have to figure out what she wanted when she got to college.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: She knew I want to be an economics major, I want to work in finance.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Like she went into school with a, with a plan, and kind of like it was great.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: We tell our children, we told them all, you know, go away, don't stay home, get out, you know, do what you want to do, don't feel, don't feel that you have to stay home, right?
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: And so they all ventured away to college.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: And now you know, like I said, my son's living out in Los Angeles, north Hollywood Pacific, my daughter lives, she's over in Brooklyn, and Catherine's at school in Atlanta.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: So you know, still we're empty nesters, but we're not.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: But it's, it's a great.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: It's a great thing to see your children become adults, but you still miss them because you love them as children.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: How hard.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: I've interviewed a few dads about empty nest and there's been some kind of funny stories, like one dad told me his wife they had a dual staircase that went upstairs and one way they'd have to go up the stairs and pass the bedrooms.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Wife doesn't go that way anymore, she goes the other way.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: So how is how?
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Is you have you and your wife adjusted, cause I'm going to be there soon.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not looking forward to them.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like you know I miss them.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: It was one day about oh man, kids were young and my wife said you know, at some point they're going to be gone and you and I have to be friends again.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: She says so what do we have in common?
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: And we always used to go to movies together.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: She picked up golf, and so it hasn't been much of a transition for us because A our kids were very much independent growing up.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: We did things as a family, but we always this is where we thought things were going to be, this is what we wanted, this is what we drove them to be independent and be out there themselves.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: So for us and we're still in my hometown, so I have family here, so it's not like we're alone, we're alone and it's an adjustment.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: You know the house is quiet.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I think that, to be honest with you, it's amazing.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: The best thing is my wife.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: We got a dog, penelope.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: My wife picked up a dog three years ago and so you know, penelope is kind of like limited from like that empty nest thing feeling, because you know she comes home on dog loves my wife, you know she, she's like oh, it's amazing, she just they can't they just it's amazing how they feel so.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: So Penelope has been like another child and still feel like you know, but I would say that, um, it's a great feeling, you know.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Now the other part of that is, the world has changed since 2020.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: And so we work home.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: We work at home together, you know, because her job normally, instead of her being in the office every day, five days a week like she had to, I've always worked from home for us in that adjustment, because we're here during the day, you know, and that's something you never planned for, but I think, in terms of like the emptiness, we enjoy it, you know, we enjoy the downtime.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: The biggest adjustment has been cooking and not having to make a meal every day for the kids and, like us, eating leftovers two or three times a week, you know.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: So we kind of balance.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Now I'm cooking more, so it's like a shared service agreement almost.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Hello everybody.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: My name is Craig Coe and I'm the Senior Vice President of Relationship Management for Beeline.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: In fact, Beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: I get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: And I say this it's simple.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: The guy flat out gets it.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: Relationships matter.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: In fact, his book Win the Relationship and Not the Deal has become required reading for all new members of the Global Relationship Management team.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: And if you don't know Casey Jaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: That's cool.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: I would love to learn how you got into the work you're doing now with diversity and talk about how the journey led you led you to CBS.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so in this profession, when I started out and even till today, very few African-American blacks in and as columnists back then, and, like, one of the things I learned at Morehouse College was you always want to give back, you know, whether it's in your community, in your profession.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: And so I've always, you know again, as I go back to like growing up, knowing history and things like that have always like been about helping others and helping people.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: And when I have this job, I was like man, this is incredible job.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: And so, and when I have this job, I was like man, this is an incredible job.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: And so I knew what the numbers were.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: In the profession of sports writing specific, I mean, I'd go into a press box.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: I'd be the only black guy in a press conference press box, out of 200 people sometimes.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: And so we had a small group that became tight, but we still, you know, had an interest in in building.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: And so, as I went from being a sports writer to an editor, being an editor, I started hiring people, and not that I was just hiring people who look like me, but I always got people who look like me an opportunity to be interviewed and some of them got hired, not by you know I didn't.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: I did hire directly several times, but you know that was specifically and so and then I always was like when I was at the source, I realized that the source that you know, you can tell you can really determine the how people look at athletes or entertainers by your coverage.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: And it crystallized with me when I was at the Daily News and the Source, and this was probably the hardest decision ever in my career.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: I was working for the Source part time.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: At the time I was at the Daily News full time and Mike Tyson was getting out of jail.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: He's the biggest sports star in the world.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: Through the Source, I was able to interview him at his hometown, I mean his home in Ohio.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: When he got out of jail I ended up spending nine hours at his house.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: The time that we spent together sitting down for three and a half hours interviewing him, I realized, ok, what am I going to write about him?
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: And at the time he had these mouse he took when he was in jail.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: He came out of prison, I should say came out with a mousy tongue tattoo, an Arthur Ashe tattoo on both of his arms, and I asked him why.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: And he talked about Mao and he talked about Arthur Ashe.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Then we talked about his upbringing.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: At the time Tupac was going through, you know, being accused of some things, and he was like, yeah, I grew up like him.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: I know what it feels like to your mother have a different man in the house every night and seeing her abused.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: He said that really messes up your mind and he's like but you persevere.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: He's like listen, because I could lose everything today and it'd be fine, because I've been poor before.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: And so I was like, wow, so I really got.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I was like man, he's kind of embracing who he is, and not that he wants to be different, but he understands he needs to be different.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: So that's what I wrote about.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: What I didn't write about was the 21 car garage, the three Mercedes in the garage in the house, the pool and the basketball court, the opulence of the house.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: You know that he purchased the land from Don King Enterprises and Don King's wife was his decorator.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: So I didn't go that way.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: I wrote about Mao Zedong and his man, and so what ended up happening is there's no way I could just get that story for the source.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: So I wrote it for the source, for their to the which came out before his fight with Peter McNeely.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: But I also had to do a special for the Daily News, so the Daily News ended up putting it on the front page on Sunday Tyson speaks and, and every story about Mike after that was about Mousy Tongue and Arthur Ashe and his conversion to Islam, and so it hit me If I'd have wrote about Mike Tyson comes into.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: When Mike Tyson walked through the door, the first thing he said to me was F you man, I ain't trying to talk to you.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: But then, once his handlers gave him his medicine and he calmed down, he talked and how you know, he had literally like, if you know how you see, the storage, storage places that like long and a bunch of.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: He literally had a 21 car garage in his property.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: That was storage.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: There was like storage places and they were all cars, you know.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: So, but I didn't write about that.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: I chose not to because that would have been a perception, and so that's when I realized, wow, you can really determine what people think about others by what you write.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Power of the pen.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: So from that point on I was like you know what got to make sure that people are getting the right perception or getting the right description.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: So that's when I realized being an editor was great, and then I was particularly because of the way black athletes were portrayed.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: At the time I took a severe interest in that and then over time that just became something that was part of it.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: So then, once George Floyd occurred, it opened up media companies to accepting that there is, I'm going to say, racism, but there is an issue in how coverage is portrayed and who's determining that coverage.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: So you know, it's like everything.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: A lot of times the person in charge of DEIB diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging and I knew each other for years.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Our executive producer and VP knew me for years and when they looked for someone who could start this racing culture unit in sports, they were like, hey, man, at the time I had my own consulting company.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: They were like, hey, we think this is a good role.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Would you be interested?
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: And again, I go back to NFL Today at CBS Sports as a child and that show Irv Cross was black, jane Kennedy was a woman, phyllis George was a woman, Brent Musburger I was like that show was diverse before.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Cbs was doing diversity, before diversity was something you had to do and so I was like so it's always been a part of the company's DNA and now I get to kind of be a little bit more involved in it.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: And it's funny like we just coming back from the Super Bowl and one of the things that that the NFL told our our features person was wow, this is the most diverse content of a Super Bowl coverage, super Bowl pregame show we've ever had game show we've ever had.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: And no one would know what role I played in that, because that's from the beginnings.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: And then USA Today we did a piece on Usher, where Usher talked about being on the halftime show but what he really discussed was how he's on standing on the shoulders of previous black stars who could not walk through the front door at casinos.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: And now here he is in Vegas with the biggest show in the world.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: And USA Today wrote a piece about it.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, no other.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: You know he didn't think any other network would go that way.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: But that comes from not just me, but that comes from having conversations internally and being able to say, hey, we're going to Vegas, what are our stories?
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Right, and when you have a diverse group of people, you get a diverse group of ideas.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that if I wasn't in the room, because you're always going to do a story on the halftime there's a deal where you do something on the halftime performer but would that have been the same idea of what we did without me and others in the room?
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: And so that was like a really great example of having impact without even you know, just by being in the room and being in the production meetings and the idea meetings and with a diverse group of people, you know, because and that's what our coverage was, you know and then when I saw like we did these call them vignettes, and the vignettes were on like Vegas performers, and so when I first saw the first list, I said, hey guys, these are all white male, you know, can we open this up?
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: And so we ended up finding a woman.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: We ended up finding a woman.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: We ended up finding a woman, sword, sword swallower, and so little things like that really have an impact.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: And and as I said to, when I every, every time I do a Zoom or somebody talks about my role and what it is, first thing I say is, if I'm doing my job, you won't notice it, meaning that our, our talent will not say inappropriate words.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: Our content will look diverse.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: You'll see different people and not like it's thrown in your face.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: So that's it.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: The role itself is one.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: It's given me an opportunity to touch our content, touch our behind the scenes hiring and have influence.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: You know it's a role of influence, to be honest with you, and I'm enjoying it because it's that what we did there really showed man, this is, there's some value here and I think it's value that others, once they saw the affirmations, like things with the NFL saying that you know they're like oh, ok, so now not that, but but listen, it's not, it's not over.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Still got to, like you know, continue to look at things, but I think it's opened up a little a lens to a little bit more acceptance.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Love it, what it starts at empathy.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: One word I would be willing to bet you got taught to his curiosity without knowing it.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe you knew it and I you know.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: Meeting Dale is one of the most biggest blessings of my life and I consider him like a guy I've known my whole life and a dear friend and make my kids know about Dale.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: So when I interviewed Dale David, it was in the heart of Black Lives Matter movement and when I met Dale I was like I just.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: He had so much empathy for me and letting me dive deeper into my diversity.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: And I was.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: I used to be one of these white people that when they would say privilege, I'd like what are you talking about?
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: I worked my ass off, I didn't get it and he, I gave him all the credit in the world.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: He has taught me so much and so I now teach my kids and so like.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: To your point about being the only black man in a press box well, as a white guy, I'll never know what that feels like.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: That's privilege.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: So, like when we go to restaurants, sometimes I'll look around like how many?
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: Like if we go to like a you know, an Asian place or uh, wherever it may be.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: I'm like, how many white people do you see here?
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Or how many Asian?
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Like imagine, if you're just just be a little empathetic for someone, just realize how others are, what they're going through.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: And so I I interviewed him live, like what's it like to be a dad of color right now, in the height of Black Lives Matter?
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: We did it live.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: And my kids, I invited my kids, my mom, my former athlete, my former coaches, anybody, I could say because I said we're never going to solve racism.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: It'll be around forever, unfortunately.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: But if I can put a dent in it on my time on earth, I'm doing something.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: And then, do you know, john Feinstein.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've met him.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: So yes, I would say I know him from the business.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Have you read his book Raise a Fist, Take a Knee?
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: No, I haven't read that one.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Have you heard his book?
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Raise a Fist, Take a Knee?
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: No, I haven't read that one.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Have you heard about it?
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: No, Is this his latest book?
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: It's the one that came out maybe two years ago.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: It's written about the Rooney Rule, which is a so I have to read that, because there's some things about the Rooney Rule that I saw excerpts of it.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I loved it.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, excerpts of it.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and I loved it.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it exposed a lot and I love that it's written from a white guy and he interviewed 97% I think 97 or 98% people of color.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, tony Dungy, and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: And and I think you know, knowing John, the way that I know him, and I say the way I know him that he's never backed off from writing on subjects that are in your face.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: But you don't know it unless you're in the business, Right, and I think his take was one that was not to.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: He just wanted to open the doors, open the eyes of individuals, to see the other perspective.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Now, whether or not they accept it is different, but I'm going to get it now and read it, since you mentioned it to me, because I'm one of I read and I was like OK, and I feel like, because I've been in the business already know how someone's perspective is, but, but hearing the stories are still key, it's.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: I think it's great.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: It opens up a lot of people's eyes.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: If you're, if you're open-minded and without like listen to learn versus listen to persuade, I tell people a lot like your perspective is your perspective, but if you don't take time to understand how someone else is viewing things, you're never going to learn and grow Right?
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Um, okay, I know, I got to make sure I get out of here on time.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: So if you were to summarize everything we've talked about that dads can take from our conversation, that if they learned one or two things that they can say man, here's a way I can be a better leader in my home.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: Here's a better way I can be a better leader in my community.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Tell me what words or actions come to mind based on the conversation we've had today.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: David.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: Number one is be present.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: And when I say be present, not just in the room, you know, not just sitting there Listen, listen to your kids, have conversations with them on an adult level and a child level, and respect their point of view.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: I've learned more from my daughters and my sons, you know, cause they, they look at things so openly and honestly.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Um, that'd be number one.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: It's really about being present.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: Uh, that's the key to me and I think it's uh, I get.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: I get back to empathy, just because it's such a.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: It's the foundation of everything that I look at when I read and when I interact with individuals, and it doesn't have to be from it.
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: When people hear empathy, they think feeling sorry, it's not that it's okay, what's the perspective here, what's the background?
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: That's why I always ask, hey, where are you from?
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: To give an understanding.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, and oftentimes, because I'm from like, when I go back to Montclair, I'm from here, I already know the history of Montclair, so someone else may not.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: So when they're not from here, I can kind of like explain or give them some perspective of why things happen.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to children or your child growing up, I think letting, letting kids, just, you said it curiosity.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Let their curiosity, take them and don't limit them.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Like I said, my son's in animation, but when he told us he wanted to be an artist, you know, first thing, we're not going to have no starving artists, david, you better get an engineering degree.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: And so he was trying to be an architect and an engineer and he liked it.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: But finally and this is the part that I'm most proud of he said Mommy and Daddy, I don't want to do this, I want to be an artist.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: This is what I want to do.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: He's like OK, well, what do you need?
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: He's like well, I need to take this class because he two years, three years of high school that went by so he couldn't get into the art program.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: But we were like there for him.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Be there for your kids, you know, like you know, if they provide them every opportunity and things that they want to do, what they want, not what you want, you know, really, that's because it's their life.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: You know, and I learned I have my own life.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: It's their life.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: Let them live their life and it's your job to support them and not try to dictate the life that you may want for them and then, whatever life they bring you, love it, enjoy it, spend it with them that's the things that I would say, but empathy and being present.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: There's nothing like being present, and I know, when I'm 89, like my dad, I know now my daughter will be there for me.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: If my daddy were good to me, I would be good to you.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: So yeah, but being present is number one.
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, as we wrap up, if people are intrigued by it, they want to learn from you.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: They want you to speak, so they just want to connect with you.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: Tell me what would be the best way people can learn about connecting with you.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: They just want to connect with you.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Tell me what would be the best way people can learn about connecting with you.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Email Cummings D at me dot com, old school email address.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: They can reach out to me directly and if yourself, if you need any perspective, you need anybody else you want to talk to.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: About this, about being a dad, about you know, working high profile.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: You know, like, like Dale, we share.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: You know Dale and I share, we share friends, we share connections.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: And the good thing is, like, people know what Dale says hey, I need you to talk to somebody.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: It's like, okay, there's already been a stamp of approval, right?
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: So same thing with me.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: When I reach out to my head, I need you to talk to.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: Um, hey, we have Casey Jake, I've reached out to you, there's already a stamp of approval.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: It's like okay, tell them to reach out to this person.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: So I'm literally going to send dale about five or six names and say, hey, you think this be a good person for casey to talk to.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: He'll be like, oh, yeah, that's cool for sure.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: So you know, you got some, you got some supporters out here.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: All right, love it.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Do you play in the soul cup?
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: yes, I've done it.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Two years ago I I planned on playing.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping to play this year.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: It's always on the.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: NFL draft.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: It's always on the NFL draft, so that's been kind of tough.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I was hoping this year to play, because he told me they're playing down in Alabama.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: I told Dale Now I know that sometimes there could be a lot of brothers in the Soul Cup I said this is the time for me.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: I want to be one of the lone white dudes that shows up and get in the soul cup.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: You won't be the lone white guy, but you definitely.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: All you got to do is have some soul.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: It's a great time, great guys, really cool environment and all of them like, yeah, you would love it.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: You would love it.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: I can't this year, but I told Dale I'm in, I want to go.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: Next time we go to the West Coast we'll make sure we're close to you, All right.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: That'd be fun.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, last part of this real quick.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: We do lightning round, which I go random.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: I'm going to ask you just random questions.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: I know we got to go here, but your job to answer as quick as you can, my job is try to make you laugh.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, can beat Dale in a 40-yard dash.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: Ooh, that'd be a tie.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: What's the time?
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: 5'3".
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I laughed.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: If I went into your phone right now, what would be the one song that your kids would be surprised you listened to?
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Ooh, oh, man, that's a good one.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: My kids would be.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: What's a good one?
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: Um, my kids would be.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, what's the name?
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: It's Cardi B, the one with a red bottoms.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Bloody shoes.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, Uh.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: If you were to go on vacation right now with your wife no kids, where are you going?
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: Paris, If I came for your house to dinner tonight, what are we making?
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: night.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: What are we making?
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: I'm going to make because you're special.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: I'm going to make you my butternut squash soup and then feed you my famous barbecue salmon Love it.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: If there's to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: Lonely Fair, loving caring, love it, periods.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: I like it Powerful.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: Now this book is turning into a movie.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: You're the casting director.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: It's going to go big.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: Tell me who's going to star you.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Oh man, who would I put in my place?
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Rob Brown, he was in Finding Forrester.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, shout out to Rob Brown.
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: And then last question Tell me two words that describe your wife.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: Fair and strong.
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: Love it Lightning round's over.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: I made it fast because David's got to go.
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: It's been an honor speaking with you, dale.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: Love you brother.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you for making today happen.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: Shout out to our sponsors for your continued support of the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: Please continue to leave us review, share this episode with others you've been intrigued in and stay empathetic, stay curious, accept others and keep that growth mindset going, dad, I appreciate you, david, thanks for spending time with me today.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: It's been an honor.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it, man.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you.