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What are narcissists thinking when you first meet them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what is the first thing that goes through a narcissist mind
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  when they are meeting you? When you first meet a
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  narcissist, what's going on in their minds?
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  What are they thinking? How do they feel?
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  That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. Here to give you the perspective
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  of a narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, the very first thought of most narcissistic people when
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  they first meet you. Now when I say when they first
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  meet you, your relationship the the, the, the relationship does
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  not matter. When they first meet you as a
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  friend, when they first meet you as a Co worker, when they first
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  meet you as a as a complete stranger.
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  What is the first thought that is going through a narcissist
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  mind when they first meet you? Drum roll please.
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  The first thing they're thinking about is trying to how to get
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  back at you, how to hurt you, how to take you down a peg, how
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  to take you down a peg or two, right.
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  How to take you down a peg or two.
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  Narcissistic people are thinking about hurting you.
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  Well, Lee, that's so morbid and dark and so bleak.
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  And Lee, we also notice you got your hair down.
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  I got to take it down here. I got to let it breathe every
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  once in a while. This is always in the ponytail,
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  right? But the first thought is how to
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  hurt you. But Lee, that what?
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  Why the hell? So it's intentional that they're
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  trying to hurt you from the beginning.
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  So, Lee, they want to hurt you from the beginning.
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  This is what it's all about. What?
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  That's so dark. No, now listen to me.
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  It's going to sound confusing. No, it's not going to sound
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  confusing. Bear with me here, y'all?
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  Are there narcissists out there that think about hurting you
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  from the very beginning because they like to hurt you?
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  Absolutely yes. The intent is to hurt you from
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  the beginning for some narcissistic people, right?
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  From some psychopaths or sociopaths, right?
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  They want to hurt you from the beginning.
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  They're sadistic, right? They want to bring pain to you
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  because it makes them feel good, right?
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  Right, but on the other side of the spectrum is your regular
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  run-of-the-mill narcissistic person like myself.
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  I'm thinking of ways to take you down a peg or to hurt you.
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  To defend myself. It's about self-defense.
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  It's about defending myself first.
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  I have to be able to defend myself at all costs.
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  I cannot take this. I look it is.
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  It's either to defend myself or to make myself feel bigger,
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  right? It's to make myself feel bigger.
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  So the first part, defending myself, yo, I cannot take
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  rejection. I cannot take rejection.
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  I cannot take being, I cannot take somebody being somebody
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  making fun of me. I cannot take that.
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  I have a fragile ego. My ego is too fragile for all of
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  this, right? So I can't take the person that
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  is trying to hurt my feelings or just make it.
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  I cannot take being the butt of a joke.
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  I just cannot take that right? I cannot live like that.
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  I get, I just, I, I can't, I do not operate under those
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  parameters right there. You know what I mean?
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  I just do not, I cannot operate under those set under that set
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  parameter right there. But what I can do?
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  So in order to not be the butt of the joke, I have to find ways
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  to joke on you, find ways to hurt you just in case you try to
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  pick on me and make fun of me and have everybody else laughing
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  at me. I have to find ways to one up
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  you to defend myself, right? I have to have comebacks and
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  clap backs, and I also have to be able to win.
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  How can I defeat you is the mentality or the first thoughts
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  that goes through a narcissistic person's mind when they first
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  meet you. How can I defeat you?
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  How can I take you down? How can I defeat you?
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  How can I knock you down? What can I do?
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  That's what they're thinking. How can I defeat this person
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  that I just met? So they study you.
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  This is why a lot of times you get narcissists like that.
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  When they first meet you, they're ask you all these
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  questions. They're inquisitive.
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  You look, you're, you're enamored you like I've never had
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  people ask me so many questions about myself.
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  I kind of like it the whole time they're they're writing this
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  stuff down or they're committing it, committing it to their
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  memories so they can use it against you later on.
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  They need to be able to bring you down a pig or to hurt you in
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  some way, shape or form in order to defend themselves or to make
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  themselves feel better. Like they I cannot miss me
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  personally. I'm always thinking of like Alex
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  Alec Baldwin in the show 30 Rock.
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  He said he's like when I first meet someone, I'm always
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  thinking how of ways how to fight them.
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  This is literally what he said he thinks of when he first meets
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  people. He thinks of how he can beat
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  them up or how to fight them. 30 right was a good show.
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  Yeah. But this is the mentality I was
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  like, it's either to they want, I want, I want to avoid shame at
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  all costs. And if I can't avoid it, I
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  needed to know how to deflect it and return it back to you.
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  So if you make me feel ashamed for what I'm doing and what I've
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  done, then I need to be able to hurt you and make you feel
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  ashamed. And I need to be able to return
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  this volley, right? I need to be I need to be able
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  to return this volley back to you.
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  You know what I mean? This is what this is the thing
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  so many people just miss out on when you're dealing with a
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  manipulative abusive person. Like they are going to do this
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  from the beginning. Now I know you, you heard me
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  mention hurting you and defending themselves.
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  The other reason that narcissists have this very first
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  thought about hurting you, how to get back at you.
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  The very first thought number one, this is where the thumbnail
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  right here we go. That's the words can be right
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  here. The devil would thought
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  defending themselves like because they want to feel bigger
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  than you. Like I do not like being around
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  people who have more than me in every single way, who look
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  better than me, who are funnier than me, who have more money
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  than I do, who, who are just like just more popular than I
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  am. That makes me feel this big.
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  And I 'cause I have y'all, I have a personality disorder that
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  makes me feel this big all the time.
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  I'm super paranoid, right? So this is what I'd be thinking.
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  You know, this is the space that so many people fall into.
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  Like, this is that mindset. Like narcissistic people do this
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  all the time. Like, they don't want to feel
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  smaller than you. So I need to make myself feel
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  bigger than you are. And in order to make myself
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  allow myself to feel bigger than you, I need to know how to take
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  you down to pay. I need to know how to knock you
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  off that pedestal so I can feel bigger than you in some way,
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  shape or form. I need to find at least one way
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  that I feel like I'm better than you.
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  And it's hard with some people, right?
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  You know, it's just like, damn you, tall, dark, handsome, you
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  got more money, you got you muscly.
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  I don't know you, just you, you know what I mean?
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  It's it's always something they're ever going to see if
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  they're ever going. They're never going to see this
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  thing for how it fully goes, how it really is.
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  This is how narcissist mind works, y'all?
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  This is how narcissistic people's minds work.
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  It really is. I'm just telling you straight
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  up, like there's so many narcissistic people out there,
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  right, that handle this situation differently.
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  They want to handle it differently, right?
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  They, they want to do that. Like say they want to be able to
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  knock you down. They do.
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  I cannot stand the thought of somebody being better than me or
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  something. So I have to find a way that I'm
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  better than them. It just, it could be as simple
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  as that right there. Y'all, I'm funnier.
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  At least I'm funnier than you. I got their teeth.
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  I mean my hair longer. It's something they always have
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  to find something to nitpick at you and a lot of y'all know
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  this, a lot of y'all, a lot of y'all understand what exactly
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  what I said. This is why they always find
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  little things about you to nitpick, especially as you, as
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  you're getting to know them, they will find some type of flaw
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  that they can nitpick away, they can nitpick at.
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  So they'll always be picking on you.
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  It it might be little picks or big picks, but they'll always be
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  finding a way to pick on you in some way, shape or form.
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  They'll always be trying to find a way to pick on you to do this
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  type of stuff right here. This is what narcissistic people
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  do. And yeah, they say the longer
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  you around them, the more that they're going to find things to
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  pick at, right? The longer you around this
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  narcissistic person, this abusive person, this
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  manipulative person, the more ammo they're going to have to
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  pick on you with. So This is why I tell so many
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  people, right? They're like keep like make
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  people earn your information right now, some narcissists,
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  right, they don't have they don't even need information
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  about you to try to hurt you and take you down to pay.
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  They'll just use the the physical aspects of you.
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  If they can find a physical flaw, they'll use the physical
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  flaw on you, right? If they can just find a physical
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  flaw, they'll just harp in on that.
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  But if you don't have any physical flaws or your physical
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  flaws, or you know, they have their own physical flaws that
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  you can pick on, they're not going to do that.
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  So they go to some type of emotional flaw, some type of
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  financial flaw. That financial flaw they're
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  going to go to, they're going to try to find something about them
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  that is better than what you have.
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  This is the mindset, This is the mentality of narcissistic
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  people. They're almost always going to
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  try to find a way that they're better than you so they can feel
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  better about themselves. This is how this is how you
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  know, narcissists have these huge egos, but they're as thin
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  as a slice of a piece of paper narcissist ego.
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  Matter of fact, it's just like it's like this narcissist, a
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  narcissist ego is 8 by 11 and a half a millimeter thick.
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  You know what I'm saying it's easy to break it's a big ego,
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  but it's easy it's paper thin right, so they have to try to
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  find a way to make sure that they are better than you at
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  something it's paper thin y'all, not thin papers.
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  I'm I'm giving y'all an example with paper like y'all don't know
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  where how thick or thin a notebook paper is right, so
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  that's it right there y'all. Thanks for joining us today,
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  mentalillness.net/events or click the link in the bio.
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  Go to mentalillness.net find it, get registered up y'all and we
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  Hit the subscribe button as well y'all peace.
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  Gotta hit this Lord of verse. I hate when I do this I can't
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  even stop it. Peace y'all before you go make
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  Peace.