Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Navigating the Hustle, Finding Success | Danielle Robay x Joy Taylor
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Everybody's big break is made in so many quiet moments
- 0:05Speaker 1: that nobody else sees.
- 0:07Speaker 2: The fear of being bad at something keeps people from
- 0:10Speaker 2: trying anything, and that is a big part of activating dreams.
- 0:15Speaker 1: It's the hard work part that I think has been
- 0:19Speaker 1: lost a little bit in our generation.
- 0:21Speaker 2: And gen Z, you're so nice about how you say things,
- 0:25Speaker 2: nobody wants to work anymore. Hey, guys, welcome to Personal.
- 0:34Speaker 2: I'm Joy Taylor. Thanks so much for joining us. If
- 0:36Speaker 2: you haven't already, make sure you subscribe, follow some social
- 0:38Speaker 2: media at too Personal Show. Hope you had an amazing
- 0:42Speaker 2: labor day weekends and enjoyed yourself with your family and friends.
- 0:45Speaker 2: Got a little barbecue in. I'm so excited for today's
- 0:49Speaker 2: guests on the show. Danielle robe She is an incredible journalist,
- 0:52Speaker 2: a real journalist, and a podcast host. She hosts the
- 0:55Speaker 2: podcast Question Everything, and she also has a really fun
- 0:58Speaker 2: card game by the same name. She has an incredible story,
- 1:02Speaker 2: very inspiring for young people who are trying to get
- 1:04Speaker 2: into the entertainments and broadcasting business. Can't wait to talk
- 1:08Speaker 2: to Danielle Roba. All Right, I am so excited we
- 1:10Speaker 2: have a real journalist in the house guys and esteems journalists.
- 1:15Speaker 2: She hosts the podcast Question Everything and Bookmarks by Reese's
- 1:20Speaker 2: book Club. Daniel Robe, Welcome to to Personal. I'm so
- 1:24Speaker 2: happy to be here. It's so exciting to have you here.
- 1:26Speaker 2: You are also a real journalist. No, I'm not. I
- 1:29Speaker 2: will not take on that monitra. We'll get to that.
- 1:31Speaker 2: We'll get to what I need as a journalist. Make
- 1:34Speaker 2: sure you follow Danielle on her Instagram and you can
- 1:37Speaker 2: catch your podcast Question Everything on YouTube and all the
- 1:39Speaker 2: podcast platforms and we'll get to that in a second.
- 1:42Speaker 2: But you can also purchase her card game Question Everything
- 1:45Speaker 2: at Question everythingshop dot com. No, Danielle, I am not
- 1:49Speaker 2: a journalist. I've seen as a journalist. I have a
- 1:53Speaker 2: broadcast journalism degree. You report on sports news all the time.
- 1:58Speaker 2: I discuss my thought on sports doution. Here's why I
- 2:01Speaker 2: would say I'm not a journalist and why you are,
- 2:04Speaker 2: because this is one of the questions that I wanted
- 2:05Speaker 2: to ask you. I don't think I'm a journal Well,
- 2:07Speaker 2: I know I'm not a journal I'm not practicing because
- 2:10Speaker 2: it's like having a loat degree but not being a lawyer, right,
- 2:13Speaker 2: like you know the law but you don't actually practice.
- 2:16Speaker 2: For me, I think journalism is very important. I think
- 2:19Speaker 2: it is a job that is similar to being a
- 2:22Speaker 2: doctor or a lawyer, or a teacher, or even maybe
- 2:28Speaker 2: something like a money manager or something like. There's a
- 2:30Speaker 2: certain code that you should practice as a journalist where
- 2:37Speaker 2: you're not the story and people can trust you, not
- 2:43Speaker 2: necessarily as a person, but they can trust your work.
- 2:46Speaker 2: And because I'm not a reporter, and because what I
- 2:50Speaker 2: say is littered and piled on with biases and you know, jokes,
- 2:56Speaker 2: and you know it's I'm an opinionist, and I think
- 2:59Speaker 2: there's a there should be an understood, stark difference between
- 3:02Speaker 2: the two, which is why I call you a journalist
- 3:03Speaker 2: and why I'm trained but not practicing. I think that's fair.
- 3:07Speaker 1: I also feel like I sort of walk the line.
- 3:11Speaker 1: I wouldn't call myself an opinionist stuff like by any means,
- 3:15Speaker 1: but I think I'm like a bridge. I do insert
- 3:20Speaker 1: myself a little bit.
- 3:21Speaker 2: Okay, you do, so, as how do you feel that
- 3:24Speaker 2: you insert yourself into conversations?
- 3:28Speaker 1: Well, when I did news, I never did, because like
- 3:30Speaker 1: you know that, like we're trained not to. But when
- 3:33Speaker 1: I started my podcast, question everything, I never inserted myself,
- 3:39Speaker 1: and everybody who listened was like, uh, hello, what about you,
- 3:43Speaker 1: Like we're coming to hear what you have to say.
- 3:46Speaker 2: And I was super uncomfortable.
- 3:48Speaker 1: And I think I've found this like middle of the
- 3:51Speaker 1: road spot that I am comfortable with, which is like,
- 3:54Speaker 1: it's not cold, I am a little bit vulnerable.
- 3:57Speaker 2: I'll share if it helps warm the guest up.
- 4:01Speaker 1: But I'm really there to shine a light on them,
- 4:04Speaker 1: like the spotlight is fully on them.
- 4:07Speaker 2: I'm just the bridge to that. So vulnerability is a
- 4:12Speaker 2: big part of being successful at what you do. If
- 4:16Speaker 2: you are bringing vulnerability out of other people.
- 4:19Speaker 1: I mean, like.
- 4:20Speaker 2: Anyone who's watched the show or knows me at all
- 4:23Speaker 2: knows vulnerability is not my thing, which is ironic because
- 4:26Speaker 2: I'm hosting a show called Too Personal. So in some
- 4:28Speaker 2: ways this is a therapy practice for me because I
- 4:32Speaker 2: am not a nat well I would say that I
- 4:34Speaker 2: am actually naturally vulnerable person, but I've been taught by
- 4:38Speaker 2: the universe over and over and over and over and
- 4:40Speaker 2: over and over and over and over and over again
- 4:42Speaker 2: that vulnerability is actually not beneficial to me. But how
- 4:46Speaker 2: do you how do you know when you have reached
- 4:49Speaker 2: a point of vulnerability with someone. I love this question.
- 4:55Speaker 1: Have you ever been at like a group dinner and
- 5:00Speaker 1: and the conversation is just kind of like tell me
- 5:03Speaker 1: about work, what's happening with your kids, so on and
- 5:06Speaker 1: so forth, And then somebody asks a question and you
- 5:09Speaker 1: can like feel the room change, like either it's because
- 5:13Speaker 1: somebody has welled up with tears or they've taken like
- 5:17Speaker 1: this pregnant pause, Like you can just feel it.
- 5:21Speaker 2: That's how it is, Like, don't you feel it?
- 5:23Speaker 1: In every interview you do, there's like this moment where
- 5:26Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you're like, oh, we just connected.
- 5:28Speaker 2: I think it's it's not necessarily my goal to get
- 5:32Speaker 2: people to be vulnerable, but I love having deep conversations,
- 5:37Speaker 2: Like I think conversation is the thing that connects me
- 5:40Speaker 2: with people the most. And I always try to meet
- 5:43Speaker 2: whoever it is i'm talking to where they are, So
- 5:47Speaker 2: it's not always that it's like a vulnerable moment, but
- 5:50Speaker 2: the connection part I do I do feel.
- 5:53Speaker 1: There's also I just saw a clip of you, I
- 5:56Speaker 1: would say, maybe a month ago, where you were talking
- 5:59Speaker 1: about domestic violence, and I don't know how you sit
- 6:04Speaker 1: here and tell me that you're not vulnerable after posting
- 6:08Speaker 1: that clip, like I think you had everybody I watched
- 6:11Speaker 1: it three times, like you had everybody feeling you. So
- 6:17Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe you're more vulnerable than you think.
- 6:20Speaker 2: Well, I guess maybe I'm like choosy about the things
- 6:24Speaker 2: I'm vulnerable about, which I guess we all are, like
- 6:26Speaker 2: some unless you're just telling your whole everything, we're all
- 6:31Speaker 2: kind of choosing what we're vulnerable about in the public space.
- 6:33Speaker 2: But I felt an obligation to be vulnerable about that,
- 6:38Speaker 2: and I think I've talked about it so much that
- 6:40Speaker 2: maybe you're right, Like, I don't think of it as
- 6:43Speaker 2: being vulnerable anymore. I just think of it as a
- 6:45Speaker 2: part of my story, but in this space. And it's
- 6:49Speaker 2: interesting that you say that you sometimes are vulnerable. It
- 6:53Speaker 2: always comes with the cost, Yeah, it does. So it's
- 6:58Speaker 2: it is risky to share are things about yourself, and
- 7:01Speaker 2: it's not necessarily that it's like you have to care
- 7:03Speaker 2: about what people think about you. That is something, But
- 7:07Speaker 2: it's like you're you're revealing a part of your private
- 7:10Speaker 2: self to the world, and in some ways you know
- 7:16Speaker 2: you can't. You can't put that back if it's the truth.
- 7:18Speaker 1: Obviously, so I'm a word nerd, and the Latin root
- 7:23Speaker 1: of influencer is influ are and it means to flow.
- 7:27Speaker 1: And so are you an Oprah fan at all? DoD first,
- 7:30Speaker 1: so I love especially her books from years ago. She
- 7:34Speaker 1: always talks about flow state and she says to be
- 7:37Speaker 1: in a state of flow is when your personality and
- 7:39Speaker 1: your purpose are aligned. So if influ air means to
- 7:42Speaker 1: flow to me, somebody with the most influence has their
- 7:48Speaker 1: personality and their purpose aligned. And when I think about
- 7:51Speaker 1: all the people on the internet that are doing it
- 7:53Speaker 1: the best, they're not showing everything about their life, but
- 7:57Speaker 1: what they are showing up with is aligned.
- 8:01Speaker 2: Like, I think that's why people love the Rock.
- 8:03Speaker 1: He shows almost if you look, you think you know
- 8:05Speaker 1: him so well, but he shows almost none of his
- 8:07Speaker 1: life online, but what he shows up with is so
- 8:10Speaker 1: the Rock.
- 8:12Speaker 2: Yeah, do you feel like you're in a flow state?
- 8:14Speaker 2: I think I just reached it. Congrats, thank you.
- 8:19Speaker 1: There's always probably like more steps to climb, but yeah,
- 8:23Speaker 1: it took me a really long time.
- 8:26Speaker 2: And what made you feel like you've reached that state?
- 8:33Speaker 1: So I used to prepare for everything I did with
- 8:39Speaker 1: like not just hours of research and preparation, but notes, Like,
- 8:42Speaker 1: had I met you five years ago, I would have
- 8:45Speaker 1: showed up here with like tons of notes, and before
- 8:48Speaker 1: like we started filming, I would have been looking through
- 8:51Speaker 1: all my notes and I like, through all of that
- 8:55Speaker 1: out the window a year ago. But I actually attribute
- 8:59Speaker 1: it to I think like I interviewed a child psychologist
- 9:02Speaker 1: and she said competence equals confidence, yep, and so like
- 9:08Speaker 1: I wanted to throw those notes away for years, but
- 9:10Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. And I think after thirteen years
- 9:14Speaker 1: of having professional conversations, I finally was like, I feel competent, right,
- 9:20Speaker 1: So I think like my confidence came from just doing
- 9:23Speaker 1: it and like doing it poorly and showing up when
- 9:26Speaker 1: it was really scary.
- 9:28Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting you say that because when people ask
- 9:31Speaker 2: me if I get nervous for anything, I always say,
- 9:34Speaker 2: I'm only nervous if I'm not prepared, right, Like, yeah,
- 9:37Speaker 2: I can do a lot of things. But if you
- 9:38Speaker 2: if you throw me in something that I'm not prepared for,
- 9:40Speaker 2: of course we're we're nervous because I'm going to fuck up,
- 9:42Speaker 2: Like there's no other way around it. I'm not prepared
- 9:44Speaker 2: for it. It doesn't I mean a preparer in general, I am,
- 9:47Speaker 2: but I am like you also, like I don't. I
- 9:49Speaker 2: think when you're when you're on our side of the
- 9:52Speaker 2: business and you do what we do, you have to
- 9:54Speaker 2: be somewhat prepared. But I don't like to over prepare
- 9:57Speaker 2: because then it kind of it loses its you know,
- 10:00Speaker 2: it loses its flow. So you know, you have to
- 10:03Speaker 2: have some structure to everything and have an idea of
- 10:06Speaker 2: where you want things to go. But yeah, I mean,
- 10:09Speaker 2: Tierra does an amazing job of giving me a bunch
- 10:10Speaker 2: of notes and I appreciate them, and we'll keep doing that.
- 10:14Speaker 2: But you know, I have them more here, you know,
- 10:20Speaker 2: just in case things don't go as as smoothly as
- 10:23Speaker 2: as they usually do. But yeah, I feel you like once,
- 10:25Speaker 2: So do you feel like you got rid of your
- 10:28Speaker 2: imposter syndrome? Yes? Oh my god.
- 10:31Speaker 1: I used to have it so bad, so bad. But
- 10:37Speaker 1: I do think that that, like I had to show
- 10:40Speaker 1: up and be bad. I used to have a real
- 10:43Speaker 1: fear of public speaking. And you're looking at me like,
- 10:47Speaker 1: how is that possible?
- 10:48Speaker 2: No, No, I think I think you have it. I
- 10:50Speaker 2: think No, I don't. I don't have it. You know,
- 10:54Speaker 2: it's like one of the number one fears, Yeah, which
- 10:58Speaker 2: I do think, oh my gods, there's some more to
- 11:00Speaker 2: be afraid of. Agreed, but like I do get it
- 11:03Speaker 2: because if again, if you're not prepared or you feel unprepared,
- 11:06Speaker 2: then it feels like the worst feeling in the world.
- 11:08Speaker 2: Everyone's looking at you, everyone's judging you. You don't know
- 11:12Speaker 2: what to say. But in our business, you really can't
- 11:15Speaker 2: have a fear of public speaking. Now you can aye,
- 11:17Speaker 2: it's not a good business to be in. There are other.
- 11:19Speaker 1: Jobs, and so I could do I could be fine
- 11:22Speaker 1: in front of a camera. I was finding a conversation
- 11:24Speaker 1: on a stage. I wanted to crawl inside of my
- 11:27Speaker 1: own skin. And so I read a book called The
- 11:29Speaker 1: Talent Code by Daniel Coyle, and he talks about like
- 11:32Speaker 1: how to practice and how to practice with intention, and
- 11:36Speaker 1: he says it much better than I can. It's like
- 11:38Speaker 1: a really small book, so if you're interested, go read it.
- 11:40Speaker 1: But I said yes to every public speaking event for
- 11:44Speaker 1: five years for free because I didn't feel like I
- 11:46Speaker 1: could charge anybody because I was bad and I wanted
- 11:49Speaker 1: to practice.
- 11:50Speaker 2: Are you bad? You thought you were bad? I think
- 11:52Speaker 2: I was bad. Did other people tell you were bad?
- 11:54Speaker 2: You were getting you were getting asked to speak publicly
- 11:57Speaker 2: for five years. You couldn't have been that bad.
- 11:59Speaker 1: I think when you're like doing like local news or
- 12:03Speaker 1: entertainment news, like people just ask you to speak at things,
- 12:07Speaker 1: and I would shake like I was not good, And
- 12:13Speaker 1: now I could like sit here and be like, I
- 12:15Speaker 1: think I'm a good public speaker.
- 12:16Speaker 2: You're a great bulk speaker. We all just saw you
- 12:18Speaker 2: speak to thousands of people like a few weeks ago.
- 12:21Speaker 2: Thank you. But it took me being bad for a
- 12:24Speaker 2: really long time. Well that's the process of things. Though,
- 12:27Speaker 2: I don't think that that makes you bad at it,
- 12:30Speaker 2: because you're great at it now. I think that the
- 12:32Speaker 2: fear of being bad at something keeps people from trying
- 12:35Speaker 2: anything for sure. And that's so real. That is a
- 12:40Speaker 2: big part of activating dreams. It's like you think you
- 12:45Speaker 2: want to do something, or you want to do something.
- 12:48Speaker 2: You tell yourself you want to do something. You know
- 12:49Speaker 2: you have the talent or potential to do it, but
- 12:51Speaker 2: you are afraid that you're going to be bad at it.
- 12:53Speaker 2: And the reality is you are going to be bad
- 12:55Speaker 2: at it because you've never tried to do it. Like
- 12:58Speaker 2: you have to develop any kind of skill and talent.
- 13:03Speaker 2: What is the the tebow. Let me not. I think
- 13:08Speaker 2: it's a Tepo quote. If it's not a Tebo quote,
- 13:10Speaker 2: everyone's going to crush me. Sorry, guys, I don't have
- 13:12Speaker 2: Google in front of me. But it's like hard work
- 13:15Speaker 2: beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. Oh yeah, don't
- 13:18Speaker 2: crush me if it's not t Bo. I know Tibo
- 13:20Speaker 2: has said this. Maybe someone said up before it. It's
- 13:23Speaker 2: one of a Saper records. Okay, somebody else said it.
- 13:25Speaker 2: I heard it from Tibou. Whoever else said it, let
- 13:27Speaker 2: me know. Probably it actually holds a lot of wisdom.
- 13:30Speaker 2: He's a great speaker, great speaker. Tim milk Key, note key,
- 13:38Speaker 2: Tim Notekey, Sorry, Tim Notekey. It wasn't Tebo, but Tebo
- 13:42Speaker 2: quoted it really well. Hard work beats talent when talent
- 13:45Speaker 2: doesn't work hard. So if you which isn't entirely true,
- 13:49Speaker 2: but yeah, the point of it is like you have
- 13:52Speaker 2: to develop your talent and you've got to be willing
- 13:56Speaker 2: not be great at something to then be great at it.
- 13:58Speaker 2: So I'm sure you get this.
- 14:01Speaker 1: But I get a lot of LinkedIn Instagram email messages
- 14:07Speaker 1: from both men and women saying I want to be
- 14:12Speaker 1: a host or I want to have a podcast, Can
- 14:15Speaker 1: I have fifteen minutes or whatever it is. And part
- 14:21Speaker 1: of my career and life and value is connection and
- 14:25Speaker 1: so I try and do as much of that as
- 14:27Speaker 1: I can. And I have to say, like, it's probably
- 14:32Speaker 1: one out of ten people that.
- 14:34Speaker 2: Actually want to do the thing.
- 14:37Speaker 1: Really, what people are calling and wanting to do is
- 14:41Speaker 1: to just like have a number one podcast overnight or
- 14:46Speaker 1: be an influencer, have a following.
- 14:48Speaker 2: But like.
- 14:50Speaker 1: I woke up at two forty five in the morning
- 14:52Speaker 1: for years to do a morning show, to learn how
- 14:55Speaker 1: to host live. I don't have to tell you you've
- 14:57Speaker 1: done all those things. And it's it's the it's the
- 15:03Speaker 1: hard work part that I think has been lost a
- 15:07Speaker 1: little bit in our generation.
- 15:09Speaker 2: And gen Z, you're so nice about how you say things.
- 15:14Speaker 2: Nobody wants to work anymore. I'll say it, nobody wants
- 15:18Speaker 2: to do the work. I think Kim Kardashian said it
- 15:20Speaker 2: before you. Yeah, that went over really well. But it's
- 15:27Speaker 2: true though, like and and the internet will yell at
- 15:31Speaker 2: me too and say that I didn't work hard, which
- 15:33Speaker 2: is fine, but you have to put the work behind it,
- 15:37Speaker 2: like you getting up at two o'clock in the morning
- 15:39Speaker 2: when I was getting up at three forty in the morning. Yeah,
- 15:45Speaker 2: every day for so few years, your life revolves around sleep. Yeah,
- 15:49Speaker 2: everything in your life is about how much sleep you
- 15:51Speaker 2: get for undisputed I remember I would tell people, like
- 15:55Speaker 2: when they would ask about doing the show, and you know,
- 15:59Speaker 2: I'd be like, yeah, I get up three forty in
- 16:00Speaker 2: the morning. Actually there's three twenty three twenty in the morning. Sorry,
- 16:04Speaker 2: it's even myself in actra twenty minutes three twenty in
- 16:06Speaker 2: the morning. And they'd be like, wow, Like I can't
- 16:09Speaker 2: believe you do that. I'm like, what what else would
- 16:11Speaker 2: I do? Like I'm on a network television show with
- 16:15Speaker 2: Skip Bayls and shann Sharp. Of course you geting up
- 16:17Speaker 2: at three twenty in the morning. Yeah, I would get
- 16:18Speaker 2: up a two forty five in the morning if that's
- 16:20Speaker 2: what I needed to do. Like, this is what you do? Yeah,
- 16:23Speaker 2: and that's at Pittsburgh in you though it's maybe the
- 16:27Speaker 2: Chicago and you I think it's just no. I just
- 16:29Speaker 2: think that you when you want something, you have to
- 16:33Speaker 2: work for it. And in this world where things do
- 16:38Speaker 2: happen with virality overnight, you can get thrust into fame
- 16:45Speaker 2: and in some cases also fortune, but the longevity of
- 16:49Speaker 2: it still requires you to do work. It's why like
- 16:51Speaker 2: the influencers like Critique to go, like you just post
- 16:55Speaker 2: videos like they're making those videos as someone who like
- 16:58Speaker 2: makes their own content like that, it's taking time out
- 17:02Speaker 2: of your day. They are being creative. That doesn't mean
- 17:04Speaker 2: they can do every single job, but you're still making
- 17:07Speaker 2: things and consistently, and if they stop doing it, they'll
- 17:10Speaker 2: stop getting paid. So like a lot of them, work hard. Yeah,
- 17:13Speaker 2: everything that you do requires the work and it requires
- 17:16Speaker 2: you to get better.
- 17:18Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you just have to decide what you're
- 17:20Speaker 1: willing to work for.
- 17:22Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, And that's the advice that I give
- 17:25Speaker 2: a lot of young people is like you don't necessarily
- 17:28Speaker 2: have to know exactly what your final destination in the
- 17:32Speaker 2: business will be, But if you don't have a really
- 17:35Speaker 2: clear idea of what your dream situation is and how
- 17:38Speaker 2: to align for that, you'll be all over the place. Like,
- 17:42Speaker 2: if you know you want to be an entertainment reporter,
- 17:45Speaker 2: you should be doing things that will eventually lead you
- 17:47Speaker 2: to that place. You shouldn't be taking this job or
- 17:49Speaker 2: that job, or get why do you have a mentor
- 17:52Speaker 2: in sports? It doesn't mean you can't have relationships and
- 17:55Speaker 2: you know everything matters, but you should be looking for
- 17:57Speaker 2: mentors in that space. You should be attending that are
- 18:00Speaker 2: in that space. You should be aligning everything that you're
- 18:02Speaker 2: doing with what you're what you're trying to accomplish.
- 18:04Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you know that you wanted to do this?
- 18:09Speaker 2: I knew in college that I wanted to do this,
- 18:12Speaker 2: And I don't know what you're I'm not going to
- 18:14Speaker 2: age myself, but I started in radio because I knew
- 18:19Speaker 2: I wanted to do opinion. But it just it just
- 18:23Speaker 2: really helped me to know what exactly what I wanted
- 18:27Speaker 2: to do, even if it was mostly me visualizing it
- 18:30Speaker 2: because it was really only Jamel Hill in the space. Yeah,
- 18:33Speaker 2: but it's just it's been the biggest part of my
- 18:37Speaker 2: success in my career is knowing the job that I
- 18:40Speaker 2: wanted or the career space that I wanted to be in,
- 18:44Speaker 2: because it kept me from making just derailing into other opportunities.
- 18:48Speaker 2: Because you get offered opportunities all the time, as I'm
- 18:50Speaker 2: sure you do, that could have taken you off your path. Well,
- 18:55Speaker 2: you never had an opportunity that was that came to
- 18:57Speaker 2: you and you were like this is a great opportunity,
- 18:59Speaker 2: but it's not the right opportunity for me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
- 19:03Speaker 2: And then you had to think about why you were
- 19:05Speaker 2: going to say no to that.
- 19:07Speaker 1: I said yes to almost everything when I was coming
- 19:13Speaker 1: up because I felt like I had to get if
- 19:16Speaker 1: I could get paid, to get my reps in. I
- 19:19Speaker 1: was in right, But did you know exactly what you
- 19:22Speaker 1: wanted to do. I don't think what I wanted to
- 19:26Speaker 1: do existed when I was coming up.
- 19:29Speaker 2: That's fair. I mean, like I said, I had to
- 19:31Speaker 2: convince people that I could do it because there's just
- 19:33Speaker 2: not there are no women in the space that's interesting,
- 19:38Speaker 2: and now there's like, yeah, I mean we've done a
- 19:40Speaker 2: lot of work. It could be more. Yeah, there could
- 19:43Speaker 2: be more. There could definitely be more. There could be
- 19:45Speaker 2: more women executives too. So were you was there a
- 19:49Speaker 2: point in your career where you were nervous because it
- 19:51Speaker 2: didn't exist and it was it was not aligning the
- 19:53Speaker 2: way that you were hoping for it too? For sure.
- 19:57Speaker 1: I moved to LA from Chicago and I wanted to
- 20:00Speaker 1: be on E so badly. That was my dream, and
- 20:04Speaker 1: I had been I'd probably gone in for eight different
- 20:09Speaker 1: meetings with all different parts of the company at E
- 20:13Speaker 1: and it never worked out. And right before COVID, they
- 20:20Speaker 1: flew me to New York for an audition and I
- 20:22Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is it. I'm finally ready, Like
- 20:25Speaker 1: I'm like I'm not green anymore. And it was like
- 20:29Speaker 1: me and I think two other people up for the job.
- 20:33Speaker 1: And I did the audition and it just kind of
- 20:36Speaker 1: like didn't feel right. And I got back to the
- 20:40Speaker 1: hotel and my agent called me and he was like,
- 20:42Speaker 1: they're not going with you, and I kind of knew
- 20:45Speaker 1: that already, but hearing him say it, like I went
- 20:48Speaker 1: I fell out into the bed and I was like
- 20:50Speaker 1: crying because I felt like that no meant that everything
- 20:55Speaker 1: was over. It wasn't just no for that job. It
- 20:57Speaker 1: was like what was all of this for? I felt
- 21:00Speaker 1: like I had hit.
- 21:00Speaker 2: A dead end.
- 21:02Speaker 1: And I was dating somebody in New York at the time,
- 21:06Speaker 1: and it was kind of new and it was too
- 21:09Speaker 1: new for me to be like crying on a bed,
- 21:12Speaker 1: Like I was like embarrassed. And he came into the
- 21:15Speaker 1: hotel room and he was like, you can be sad
- 21:19Speaker 1: for like a day, maybe even two days, but like
- 21:22Speaker 1: figure out how you're going to hire yourself, and I
- 21:25Speaker 1: was like.
- 21:26Speaker 2: You don't get it, and what I do?
- 21:28Speaker 1: You don't hire yourself, Like that's just not how it goes.
- 21:31Speaker 1: You need to wait for the Today Show to hire
- 21:33Speaker 1: you or the View to hire you, Like that's just
- 21:35Speaker 1: not That's not what I signed up for. And he
- 21:39Speaker 1: was like, who do you admire on the Today Show?
- 21:42Speaker 1: And I gave him some names and I was like,
- 21:44Speaker 1: I think Craig Melvin's amazing and I think Hoda is amazing.
- 21:47Speaker 2: And he was like.
- 21:50Speaker 1: Are they employees? And I was like yeah. He was
- 21:53Speaker 1: like so they could be fired tomorrow and then what
- 21:57Speaker 1: And I was like okay, and he was like, go
- 22:02Speaker 1: make your own stuff, like figure it out. And I
- 22:07Speaker 1: cried a little bit more felt bad for myself. And
- 22:11Speaker 1: about a month and a half later, COVID hit and
- 22:15Speaker 1: I had his voice in my head, and I had
- 22:17Speaker 1: Larry King's voice in my head, who was a mentor
- 22:20Speaker 1: of mine, and he would always be like, you need
- 22:21Speaker 1: your own show, kid, and it's a great Larry, it was,
- 22:27Speaker 1: And I'd always be like, Larry, they're not really handing
- 22:29Speaker 1: out shows the way they used to. Like he was
- 22:32Speaker 1: on the radio and some guy at CNN called him
- 22:34Speaker 1: and was like, Hey, Larry, you want to do a show?
- 22:36Speaker 1: And like a week later his name was in lights
- 22:38Speaker 1: and he had the biggest interview show in the world,
- 22:40Speaker 1: you know. And it's just it doesn't work like that anymore.
- 22:43Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm going to make my own show.
- 22:46Speaker 1: Like there's podcasting now, right, So I did a podcast
- 22:50Speaker 1: and so on and so forth. I don't want to
- 22:52Speaker 1: bore you with the long story, but basically I launched
- 22:55Speaker 1: the podcast and it's it's it's not like a big hit,
- 22:58Speaker 1: but it's doing okay at the time.
- 23:00Speaker 2: And I get a call.
- 23:01Speaker 1: I'm still sort of unemployed and I get a call
- 23:04Speaker 1: and it had been about two years and this woman
- 23:08Speaker 1: calls me and she's like, Hey, this is SO and
- 23:11Speaker 1: SO from E. Tammy wants to know if you can
- 23:14Speaker 1: come in and do a pilot next week. And I
- 23:18Speaker 1: was like what and she was like yeah, Tammy. And
- 23:21Speaker 1: I was like, as like an audition and she goes, no,
- 23:24Speaker 1: We've auditioned like forty people and we want you to
- 23:26Speaker 1: do the show. And so I go in and I
- 23:29Speaker 1: was like, I couldn't even believe. I couldn't even believe
- 23:32Speaker 1: it was real. And I went into her office and
- 23:34Speaker 1: I was like, Tammy, why'd you hire me? And she
- 23:37Speaker 1: was like, oh, I love your podcast, And that to
- 23:40Speaker 1: me was like I still get chills when I say
- 23:44Speaker 1: that line because it is the biggest confirmation that you
- 23:47Speaker 1: cannot wait for somebody to hand you anything, Like if
- 23:51Speaker 1: you want it, you have to go create it, and
- 23:54Speaker 1: you have to make people see you the way you
- 23:55Speaker 1: see yourself because there's no other way.
- 23:59Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an amazing story though, it's really yeah inspirings
- 24:03Speaker 2: here because it's like you took a big risk with that,
- 24:06Speaker 2: and I put my whole life savings into it. Yeah,
- 24:09Speaker 2: but well, better on yourself is something that people say
- 24:11Speaker 2: a lot, but I think, especially in our business, we
- 24:15Speaker 2: kind of don't really always know what it means. Yeah,
- 24:18Speaker 2: And I mean to your point with with Larry, I'm
- 24:21Speaker 2: on a first name basis you that's not how the
- 24:27Speaker 2: business works necessarily so anymore anyway, So yeah, you kind
- 24:33Speaker 2: of do have to make your own thing and improve yourself.
- 24:37Speaker 2: But sure, there's a million different ways to get to success.
- 24:41Speaker 2: It just can be really scary, especially when you're talking
- 24:43Speaker 2: about money, like you know, you're talking about you put
- 24:45Speaker 2: your whole life savings in it, like you invested in
- 24:47Speaker 2: yourself and it could have not worked, but you were
- 24:50Speaker 2: focused and that's why it did work. And I'm a
- 24:52Speaker 2: big believer in energy, Like I think, I just believe
- 24:55Speaker 2: like wherever you put your energy is what comes back
- 24:58Speaker 2: to you, especially in business this and especially with something
- 25:02Speaker 2: that you are very intentional about wanting to achieve. And
- 25:06Speaker 2: we always like, that's not even about shortcuts. We just
- 25:09Speaker 2: like things to be easier because duh, Like who doesn't
- 25:11Speaker 2: want things to be easier? For sure, But it's just
- 25:14Speaker 2: like these type of things, especially when it's something that
- 25:17Speaker 2: you'll be living in your purpose, just they take you
- 25:20Speaker 2: investing in yourself in whatever way that is, yeah, building
- 25:23Speaker 2: it so it's a space that you thrive in.
- 25:26Speaker 1: And I've interviewed a bunch of entrepreneurs who don't believe
- 25:30Speaker 1: in the word failure. I interviewed this guy on kour Jane,
- 25:34Speaker 1: whose business I think was valuated at like two point
- 25:38Speaker 1: one billion dollars recently, and he was like, nothing I've
- 25:41Speaker 1: done is a failure because it's a pivot into the
- 25:43Speaker 1: next thing. Sure, maybe that company didn't work out, but
- 25:46Speaker 1: all of the people I met carried over into my
- 25:48Speaker 1: next business and like made it viable, and so I
- 25:51Speaker 1: kind of think of life as like one big pivot
- 25:54Speaker 1: after another.
- 25:55Speaker 2: It's never really a failure. Who was I was just
- 25:58Speaker 2: talking to this I was just talking to a friend
- 26:02Speaker 2: about failure, and I was like, you can't look. Oh
- 26:06Speaker 2: my god, I need to like start taking medication or something.
- 26:08Speaker 2: My brain is so fried. I would, That's what it was.
- 26:12Speaker 2: I was like, you can't look at things as a failure. Like,
- 26:14Speaker 2: it's not a failure, it's an experience. You learn from it,
- 26:18Speaker 2: you grew from it. You know one hundred percent more
- 26:21Speaker 2: about this particular thing than you did before because you
- 26:23Speaker 2: had never done it before. So maybe you'll never be
- 26:26Speaker 2: in the space again because it wasn't for you. But
- 26:28Speaker 2: now you A, no, the space is not for you
- 26:31Speaker 2: if you don't go back to it, and B you
- 26:33Speaker 2: have a whole different outlook on how this particular thing works.
- 26:36Speaker 2: So yeah, I would. I was going to ask you
- 26:38Speaker 2: what the common thing was for the successful people that
- 26:41Speaker 2: you have spoken to, because to me, they tell me
- 26:45Speaker 2: what yours is. Mine would be consistency, which kind of
- 26:50Speaker 2: falls like in the same line as not having failures,
- 26:52Speaker 2: but like you are, which you consistently do like someone
- 26:55Speaker 2: like a Lebron or Beyonce. Yeah, is outside of obviously
- 26:59Speaker 2: they're believable talents, which is, you know, god given and like,
- 27:03Speaker 2: you know, there's only one to Beyonce say, there's only
- 27:04Speaker 2: one Bron, But all greats have something in common. In Oprah, Larry,
- 27:12Speaker 2: I'm sure they are consistent in what they do, meaning
- 27:17Speaker 2: they have very strict routines. They are very disciplined. They
- 27:21Speaker 2: minimize the extra decisions that they have to make, you know,
- 27:24Speaker 2: seve jobs, wearing the same outfit every day, whatever, like
- 27:27Speaker 2: parking in the same parking spot. Like those tiny things
- 27:31Speaker 2: build up into being prepared for the bigger moment, like
- 27:36Speaker 2: taking care of your body if you're an athlete, putting
- 27:39Speaker 2: the right things in your body. Yes, Okay, I don't
- 27:41Speaker 2: feel like stretching right now because I'm tired. If you
- 27:43Speaker 2: don't stretch, you're gonna pull something tomorrow. So let's just
- 27:45Speaker 2: do the stretch, like convincing yourself to be repetitive. Yeah,
- 27:48Speaker 2: and then you're prepared for the moment. I totally agree.
- 27:53Speaker 1: I love that you said that because there's this clip
- 27:56Speaker 1: that goes around the internet of Trevor Noah asking Oprah
- 28:00Speaker 1: that question, and she says something that sounds really good,
- 28:05Speaker 1: But I've never agreed with her, and I like always
- 28:07Speaker 1: agree with the Oprah, so it freaks me out that
- 28:09Speaker 1: I don't agree with her. But she was like, they
- 28:11Speaker 1: all know where they're going, And I actually have found
- 28:15Speaker 1: that most people I've interviewed don't know where they're going.
- 28:18Speaker 1: Didn't know necessarily at the time. They just kept showing up.
- 28:22Speaker 1: They were consistent, and everybody's like big break is made
- 28:30Speaker 1: in so many quiet moments that nobody else sees. It's
- 28:34Speaker 1: like the ten thousand hours of being up on a
- 28:38Speaker 1: Saturday night, like doing things when everybody's out and partying,
- 28:43Speaker 1: and like it's those quiet moments that allow for those
- 28:46Speaker 1: big moments that people clap for.
- 28:47Speaker 2: But I one hundred percent agree with you. It is consistency. Well,
- 28:51Speaker 2: because it's like the you know, every overnight success was
- 28:53Speaker 2: ten years in the making or yeah, you know, twenty
- 28:56Speaker 2: years in the making, and someone will pop on the
- 28:57Speaker 2: scene and they're you know, wildly talented, Like where did
- 29:00Speaker 2: they come from? Well, they've been working on this, you know,
- 29:03Speaker 2: they've been honing their crafts and putting in the time
- 29:06Speaker 2: and effort because they believed in themselves or they had
- 29:09Speaker 2: this talent and it was something that was a passion
- 29:11Speaker 2: of theirs. And I think maybe a shift in just
- 29:17Speaker 2: overall society and how we treat each other that I'm
- 29:21Speaker 2: seeing is that it's like you're you're almost not supposed
- 29:26Speaker 2: to take a risk because everything is so centered around money.
- 29:31Speaker 2: Oh what do you mean, Like listen, I like money.
- 29:35Speaker 2: It's great, son anymore like more money, thank you, universe,
- 29:39Speaker 2: more money. But when I think of the times that,
- 29:43Speaker 2: like I was the most in love with the business,
- 29:47Speaker 2: I was most in love with like the creative and
- 29:51Speaker 2: all that, I was not thinking about money. I didn't
- 29:54Speaker 2: have money, so I don't know, I just didn't like
- 29:58Speaker 2: there was no money comany So it was like just
- 30:00Speaker 2: doing my thing and I'm just getting better and I'm
- 30:03Speaker 2: just excited about this, you know, little freelance job that
- 30:07Speaker 2: I got, you know, and I'm nervous and it's like this,
- 30:11Speaker 2: no one's gonna see this, right, but like it's the
- 30:14Speaker 2: most important thing at that moment, Like that'll be like
- 30:16Speaker 2: fifteen twenty years ago. Yeah, But it's like if you're
- 30:21Speaker 2: not doing the best thing right now, it's like there's
- 30:24Speaker 2: this judgment of it, like, oh, you haven't made it yet.
- 30:26Speaker 2: Or you know you're not able to flex. It's like
- 30:29Speaker 2: everything doesn't have to be a flex like some part
- 30:31Speaker 2: of it can be the journey. Yeah, I mean I
- 30:35Speaker 2: think the journey's more fun.
- 30:37Speaker 1: I forgot who said this to me, but someone said
- 30:40Speaker 1: to me, you have to enjoy the journey because it's
- 30:43Speaker 1: boring at the top, and I was like, that's so
- 30:47Speaker 1: interesting that.
- 30:49Speaker 2: I flies really in the face of more money, more problems.
- 30:53Speaker 1: No, but if you think about, like I don't know,
- 30:56Speaker 1: at least for me, like some of the worst jobs
- 30:58Speaker 1: I ever had my best friends.
- 31:02Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean there's there's there's connection in the
- 31:04Speaker 2: suffering bond for sure, laff so hard.
- 31:07Speaker 1: You have stories like I wouldn't trade it. I don't
- 31:10Speaker 1: I don't want to do it again.
- 31:13Speaker 2: No, but it made bad, it makes you. Uh. Those
- 31:17Speaker 2: things also prepare you. Hell yeah when you especially if
- 31:22Speaker 2: you're doing like live things, or you're speaking, like I
- 31:25Speaker 2: don't know if people do people ask you for advice
- 31:27Speaker 2: about speaking now, yeah, like how to be a good speaker? No,
- 31:32Speaker 2: not really, or we're like like, what do you do
- 31:36Speaker 2: to not get nervous? Yeah? Yeah, some of that. They
- 31:39Speaker 2: usually ask me how to start a podcast? Well, yeah,
- 31:42Speaker 2: that's a that's your good person asked that. No, I mean,
- 31:45Speaker 2: I think it's you know, it's it's about preparation obviously,
- 31:51Speaker 2: but I also always say something will go wrong, someone
- 31:54Speaker 2: will be throwing forks in the kitchen while we're recording.
- 31:58Speaker 2: Something is like a light's gonna fall or like whatever.
- 32:00Speaker 2: Don't hope everything's fine. But that's what live experienced live. Yeah, yeah,
- 32:04Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying. So like those those experiences were
- 32:07Speaker 2: like everything breaks and you're like, all right, I gotta
- 32:10Speaker 2: keep talking because we're live and this is what happens. Yeah,
- 32:14Speaker 2: you just know something's gonna go wrong, and if you
- 32:17Speaker 2: expect it to, then it's like you're not completely frozen
- 32:21Speaker 2: when it does because you just know, you know it
- 32:22Speaker 2: always it always, the prompter breaks, all the papers fly away,
- 32:26Speaker 2: it's like you've seen it all.
- 32:28Speaker 1: So this is so funny because I think I was
- 32:31Speaker 1: probably twenty four and or twenty five and I was
- 32:35Speaker 1: working at Entertainment Tonight Online, and I snuck over to
- 32:38Speaker 1: like the main stage area of Entertainment Tonight and I
- 32:42Speaker 1: like accosted Kevin Fraser, who was the host at the time.
- 32:45Speaker 1: He was at lunch and I was like can I
- 32:47Speaker 1: ask you a few questions? He was like okay, and
- 32:51Speaker 1: I'm asking him what I should do and how I
- 32:53Speaker 1: should like strategize my career and he goes, listen, who
- 32:56Speaker 1: do you think is the best? And I was like,
- 32:59Speaker 1: I think Bob cough is like one of the best
- 33:01Speaker 1: to ever do it, and I don't want to be
- 33:02Speaker 1: in sports. And he was like, I agree with you.
- 33:06Speaker 1: Why do you think Bob Costas is so good? And
- 33:08Speaker 1: I was like, he's the QB. Like when everything goes wrong,
- 33:11Speaker 1: you just throw to Bob because he doesn't even need
- 33:13Speaker 1: a prompter. He'll know what to say. And he goes,
- 33:16Speaker 1: you got to go do live TV. He was like,
- 33:19Speaker 1: if you know how to cover like the death of
- 33:22Speaker 1: the bumble fucks mayor like excuse my language, it's like
- 33:27Speaker 1: I'm on the right show for that, then you can
- 33:29Speaker 1: cover Michael Jackson's funeral or like it all like, you
- 33:33Speaker 1: got to go.
- 33:33Speaker 2: Do live TV.
- 33:34Speaker 1: And so I moved back to Chicago and I did
- 33:36Speaker 1: live TV and I came back a different post journalist whatever.
- 33:41Speaker 2: So I totally agree with you. And you do live
- 33:44Speaker 2: so much. You can handle anything. I have handled a
- 33:47Speaker 2: lot of things. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not
- 33:49Speaker 2: gonna rebuke you on that. I have the things that
- 33:53Speaker 2: I have had, like the times that we have completely
- 33:56Speaker 2: flushed the lineup and just had to wing it for
- 34:01Speaker 2: hours at a time because a story is broken and
- 34:04Speaker 2: we have no information and we've got to feel a
- 34:08Speaker 2: whole show. I mean, yeah, I COVID alone. Not to
- 34:12Speaker 2: bring up COVID, but like the I mean, Colin and
- 34:16Speaker 2: I did three hours a day for four months with
- 34:21Speaker 2: no live sports. I have no fucking idea what we
- 34:25Speaker 2: talked about. I don't know. I can tell you, I
- 34:29Speaker 2: don't know what are we talking about? Who knows? There
- 34:31Speaker 2: was no there were no live sports. We filled three hours.
- 34:34Speaker 2: I mean we always joke about it. I'm like, I blacked out, Colin, Like,
- 34:36Speaker 2: I don't remember what we were talking about oatmeal? Who knows? Like,
- 34:41Speaker 2: but we did it because you got to do it.
- 34:43Speaker 2: It's one of those bonding moments. Oh yeah, I mean
- 34:45Speaker 2: we surviving that was was was absolutely crazy. So I
- 34:49Speaker 2: want to talk to you about your your card game.
- 34:52Speaker 2: Well it's not really a card game, it's it's it's
- 34:55Speaker 2: a conversation prompter, which I love because I am always
- 35:02Speaker 2: ready to disrupt the evening with co with deep conversation
- 35:06Speaker 2: conversation y yeah, yeah. I have a joke. There's this
- 35:09Speaker 2: clip online about it's like their family is visiting like
- 35:13Speaker 2: Buckingham Palace and they're just like taking a picture and
- 35:15Speaker 2: one of the family members runs in and starts talking
- 35:17Speaker 2: about this institution and all the things that they have
- 35:20Speaker 2: done wrong to society, and like that's me. I'm always
- 35:23Speaker 2: going to bring up like some politics. You're like, did
- 35:25Speaker 2: you know that sore and show? Actually no murder, no
- 35:28Speaker 2: d but it usually lends to like a really interesting conversation. Yes,
- 35:33Speaker 2: so one, how did you choose the questions? Well, tell
- 35:37Speaker 2: us the bigger thing, because you you you've been curating
- 35:39Speaker 2: these questions over your career.
- 35:41Speaker 1: Well, first of all, everybody needs a joy at their
- 35:44Speaker 1: dinner party because.
- 35:46Speaker 2: I am a great middler. You know I can middle
- 35:48Speaker 2: very well. Do you watch you watch a Curby Enthusiasm? Yes, yeah,
- 35:51Speaker 2: I'm a great middler.
- 35:54Speaker 1: This came, This card game came because I was working
- 35:57Speaker 1: at a job that I thought was my dream job
- 36:00Speaker 1: and I hated it. I would like break out into
- 36:03Speaker 1: hives and cry in the bathroom at lunch. And one
- 36:07Speaker 1: day I was at the gas station after working like
- 36:10Speaker 1: sixteen hours, and I called my mom and I was like,
- 36:13Speaker 1: I don't think I can do this anymore.
- 36:16Speaker 2: And she was like, well, isn't this everything you wanted?
- 36:18Speaker 2: What do you mean?
- 36:20Speaker 1: And I was like no, like this is this is
- 36:22Speaker 1: not for me? And she was like, well, I think
- 36:25Speaker 1: you should quit, Like wouldn't you be so pissed that
- 36:27Speaker 1: you spent if you got hit by a bus that
- 36:29Speaker 1: you spent your last day at that office in Burbank
- 36:31Speaker 1: with no windows yep?
- 36:33Speaker 2: And I was like, yes, I would. I would be
- 36:35Speaker 2: really pissed. So I quit.
- 36:39Speaker 1: And I was really anxious about money because I had
- 36:44Speaker 1: It's not like I had a backup plan. And I
- 36:47Speaker 1: was like, I guess I'm gonna have to like babysit
- 36:49Speaker 1: or like do whatever I have to do to make
- 36:50Speaker 1: ends meet. And I decided to take myself to grad
- 36:55Speaker 1: school during that time, because there's no like schooling for
- 36:57Speaker 1: what we do, Like you technically could go and roll
- 37:00Speaker 1: at USC, but like it's better to just go do
- 37:03Speaker 1: the thing. So I started putting together questions that I
- 37:07Speaker 1: wanted to ask people that I wanted to interview, Like
- 37:10Speaker 1: if I got to interview Oprah, what was I going
- 37:12Speaker 1: to ask if I got to interview Michael Jordan, what
- 37:15Speaker 1: was I going to ask? And I had a list
- 37:17Speaker 1: eventually of like a thousand questions. And around this time,
- 37:22Speaker 1: because I was unemployed, I have more time on my hands.
- 37:25Speaker 1: And I looked at those questions one day and I
- 37:27Speaker 1: was like, I've never asked myself one question. I ask
- 37:30Speaker 1: other people questions for a living. This is kind of embarrassing.
- 37:34Speaker 1: I don't even know me, and why why have I
- 37:36Speaker 1: not been asking myself questions? And this is before I
- 37:38Speaker 1: ever went to therapy, so like PSA pre self actualization,
- 37:43Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm gonna ask myself like five
- 37:46Speaker 1: questions a day, Okay. So I went through the list
- 37:50Speaker 1: and I swear to God, I'm not lying. After about
- 37:55Speaker 1: like two weeks of doing this, people were like magnets
- 37:58Speaker 1: to me because I would go out into the world
- 38:01Speaker 1: and I was practiced at asking questions, because like asking
- 38:04Speaker 1: questions is literally just a practice. And so I'd be
- 38:08Speaker 1: out at dinner and I'd have like something really interesting
- 38:11Speaker 1: to ask, or I'd be on the phone with my
- 38:13Speaker 1: parents and like had something really interesting to ask, and
- 38:16Speaker 1: people were like drawn to me, and I was like, oh,
- 38:19Speaker 1: this is a super power, Like I'm five to one,
- 38:22Speaker 1: you're shockingly little.
- 38:25Speaker 2: I thought you were much taller. Though the same We
- 38:28Speaker 2: are not meant to be in the WNBA. That's not
- 38:30Speaker 2: going to happen for us. It was a dream at
- 38:32Speaker 2: some time, and I stopped growing in like seventh grade.
- 38:35Speaker 2: So it's just not going to happen. It's not our futures.
- 38:38Speaker 1: It's not in our futures. But like, everybody can tap
- 38:41Speaker 1: into the power of questions.
- 38:43Speaker 2: And when I.
- 38:44Speaker 1: Look at like like the most successful companies in America, Google, Apple,
- 38:51Speaker 1: they're actually all all the CEOs have talked about the
- 38:53Speaker 1: power of questions. Apple uses the Socratic method method, which
- 38:57Speaker 1: is answering a question with a question.
- 39:01Speaker 2: Google.
- 39:01Speaker 1: Eric Schmidt said, we are a company built on questions,
- 39:04Speaker 1: not answers.
- 39:06Speaker 2: It's just.
- 39:08Speaker 1: What's his name, Brian Grazer, like epic legendary producer. He
- 39:12Speaker 1: wrote a book called The Curious Mind about how curiosity
- 39:16Speaker 1: has fueled every great thing he's ever done. And like,
- 39:19Speaker 1: I think sometimes people look at curiosity as nosiness, so
- 39:22Speaker 1: we need to rebrand it.
- 39:25Speaker 2: Well, it's I don't. I think it depends on what
- 39:27Speaker 2: you're curious about. Like, if you're curious about someone else's
- 39:30Speaker 2: sex life, Like you're nosy, you're not curious. There's a
- 39:34Speaker 2: big difference. But you know you say that all these
- 39:36Speaker 2: CEOs and powerful people. I tell people. I try to
- 39:39Speaker 2: tell people all the time, like when you spend time
- 39:41Speaker 2: around incredibly successful people, the currency is information. I don't
- 39:49Speaker 2: even think that that's like a revoluation anymore. Like, hello,
- 39:53Speaker 2: the most successful people in the world continue to stay
- 39:55Speaker 2: successful because they share the information only with the other
- 39:57Speaker 2: successful people. Like the gatekeeping for information and is the thing.
- 40:00Speaker 2: It's actually like illegal in some cases, So like that's
- 40:04Speaker 2: the point. Really successful people are always asking questions, they
- 40:07Speaker 2: always want to know more because information really turns into
- 40:10Speaker 2: the highest level of currency.
- 40:12Speaker 1: That's so well said. I never've actually even thought about
- 40:15Speaker 1: it that way. You're right, and I think that it
- 40:17Speaker 1: sometimes can feel intimidating, like you don't know what to ask,
- 40:21Speaker 1: or if it's like weird to ask something deep.
- 40:23Speaker 2: And so it's also a sign of intelligence that you're curious.
- 40:28Speaker 1: Yes, I agree, But when you're younger, I think like
- 40:33Speaker 1: you don't know that. You think it comes off as
- 40:35Speaker 1: like naive and you want to seem like you're interesting,
- 40:38Speaker 1: but like the most interesting thing is to be interested.
- 40:41Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and youth is wasted on the young. We
- 40:44Speaker 2: always thought we knew, we knew. You think you know everything,
- 40:46Speaker 2: And generally speaking, if you are an evolving person, the
- 40:49Speaker 2: older you get, you realize how little you know. Yeah.
- 40:53Speaker 2: I remember I woke up one day and realized I
- 40:55Speaker 2: know nothing. I remember that day too. It's changed my life.
- 40:59Speaker 2: I love it. But I was like, oh, I don't
- 41:00Speaker 2: know shit, I'm done. If someone knows more than me,
- 41:03Speaker 2: I'm asking them how to do it. I'm doing whatever
- 41:05Speaker 2: it is that they say, like I'm I am. I
- 41:08Speaker 2: am an advice receiver now, Like for years I was
- 41:11Speaker 2: the most biggest pain in the ass in the world.
- 41:14Speaker 2: I'm sure I wasted plenty of great advice being a
- 41:18Speaker 2: pain in the ass young person. And I literally remember
- 41:20Speaker 2: the day that I was like, nope, I got it.
- 41:22Speaker 2: This is not what happened. I think I just like
- 41:25Speaker 2: hit rock bottom and I was able to receive the
- 41:29Speaker 2: most important piece of advice I've ever seved. I've told
- 41:32Speaker 2: the story many times, but it's really about focusing your energy,
- 41:35Speaker 2: like like I mentioned earlier, and I actually like felt
- 41:39Speaker 2: the gravity of the advice I was getting for the
- 41:41Speaker 2: first time and I was like, oh, like I've been
- 41:44Speaker 2: doing this wrong, Like there are people who know more
- 41:47Speaker 2: than me, and I don't know everything. I do not
- 41:50Speaker 2: know how to do everything. I am not prepared for
- 41:53Speaker 2: the things that I want to accomplish, and I need
- 41:55Speaker 2: to start listening to people when they're like, don't fucking
- 41:58Speaker 2: do that. Wow. Now I still don't listen to everybody.
- 42:01Speaker 2: Obviously I'm still working on this crash. But it is
- 42:06Speaker 2: important to know that you don't know things, because it's
- 42:08Speaker 2: just like that is the that is a sign of
- 42:11Speaker 2: intelligence that you know you have more to learn.
- 42:13Speaker 1: Yeah, agreed, Although I think to your credit like you
- 42:18Speaker 1: do have to listen to yourself too.
- 42:20Speaker 2: There's a balance of it, for sure, and you should
- 42:22Speaker 2: only be taking advice from people that genuinely care about
- 42:24Speaker 2: you or who genuinely have nothing to gain from pointing
- 42:29Speaker 2: you in a certain direction. And are you know qualified.
- 42:33Speaker 2: Don't get all your information off TikTok or chatchept or
- 42:38Speaker 2: anywhere on the internet. Honestly, except for us, we always
- 42:42Speaker 2: know what we're talking about. Okay, so let's see a
- 42:44Speaker 2: couple questions except for two personal Okay, here you start,
- 42:47Speaker 2: all right, and it's kind of like taro, Like, I
- 42:51Speaker 2: think you pick the card that you're meant to to grab. Yeah,
- 42:55Speaker 2: so I'll be a little bit more creative than the
- 42:56Speaker 2: first woman. The first one is probably the instruction card. Okay,
- 43:01Speaker 2: all right, okays up, you're right, you spoke it up.
- 43:07Speaker 2: Look at this. Uh oh, I'm scared. What ordinary moment
- 43:10Speaker 2: throughout your day brings you great joy? That's very cool. Okay,
- 43:19Speaker 2: So I'll ask you first, and then i'll answer, what
- 43:21Speaker 2: ordinary moment throughout your day brings you great joy?
- 43:24Speaker 1: My coffee Every single time, I like go to bed
- 43:27Speaker 1: thinking about my coffee the next day.
- 43:30Speaker 2: Are you like, do you make an elaborate coffee or
- 43:32Speaker 2: is it like a simple No?
- 43:34Speaker 1: I actually spend like a millennial five dollars and fifty
- 43:37Speaker 1: cents at a coffee shop. Oh, because it gets me
- 43:40Speaker 1: out of the house. I really don't like to leave
- 43:43Speaker 1: my apartment. Oh, it gets me out of the house
- 43:46Speaker 1: and then I can be out.
- 43:47Speaker 2: Okay, but I like that. What ordinary moment I would
- 43:51Speaker 2: say my showers. I am a big shower person. I
- 43:55Speaker 2: like a scolding lobster shower. And wait, really, why do
- 44:01Speaker 2: you take cold showers? Are a serial killer?
- 44:03Speaker 1: No?
- 44:03Speaker 2: No, I don't take cold, But I don't want a
- 44:05Speaker 2: scolding hot I want my skin to like be red
- 44:07Speaker 2: when I get out of the shower. Oh yeah, the
- 44:09Speaker 2: whole place has to be steams. But like I also do,
- 44:13Speaker 2: it's just a lot of thinking in the shower. Okay,
- 44:16Speaker 2: I practice any conversation I need to do that is
- 44:19Speaker 2: like making me uncomfortable. It's just like a a like
- 44:23Speaker 2: I do it in the morning when I wake up,
- 44:25Speaker 2: so it helps me wake up. But it's also like
- 44:26Speaker 2: it's just like my like focus time.
- 44:28Speaker 1: Yeah, do you like a bench in your shower.
- 44:32Speaker 2: I I don't want to get a bench in my
- 44:34Speaker 2: shower because I don't want to encourage any extra activities.
- 44:36Speaker 2: You know, guys to know how I feel about shower activities.
- 44:39Speaker 2: Although I probably should be like a steam in there,
- 44:42Speaker 2: I just feel like it's so nice to shave your
- 44:44Speaker 2: legs with a bench. It is helpful. It is helpful
- 44:46Speaker 2: and as a as a as a recent shower fall faller. Actually,
- 44:49Speaker 2: I'm an order woe when I leave here. Yeah, I
- 44:52Speaker 2: mean it was it was. It was a it was
- 44:54Speaker 2: a moment of me realizing my age. I was in
- 44:57Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say where I was, but I was
- 44:58Speaker 2: I was on vacation and I slipped and fell in
- 45:00Speaker 2: the shower and it was a disaster. And I was like,
- 45:05Speaker 2: have you ever fallen in the shower. Yes, it's scary,
- 45:07Speaker 2: it's terrifying. I'm like, I understand how people died. Totally
- 45:12Speaker 2: cut yourself, like there's nothing. I was like pulling on things,
- 45:15Speaker 2: pulled the shower curtain down. It's like laying the waters
- 45:18Speaker 2: coming on top of me. I've told the story before,
- 45:19Speaker 2: but this is like, so it's not great. I mean
- 45:21Speaker 2: I lived, thankfully, but it was not And your elbows Okay, No,
- 45:27Speaker 2: I was real fucked up. Actually I just laid there
- 45:31Speaker 2: for like five o one. Okay, Yeah, this is fun.
- 45:36Speaker 2: This is a great game. Thank you. You have to
- 45:39Speaker 2: go and get this all right. Okay, what's something kind
- 45:46Speaker 2: someone has done for you that left an impact on you?
- 45:50Speaker 1: Ooh okay, this is a weird answer to this question.
- 45:58Speaker 1: But I was dating somebody and he was really wrong
- 46:03Speaker 1: for me, and no one said anything, not my parents,
- 46:07Speaker 1: not any of my friends. And my one friend, Julia,
- 46:11Speaker 1: I'll give her a shout out from college, came to
- 46:15Speaker 1: me one day. We were walking on a Sunday and
- 46:17Speaker 1: she was like, d something's off like you can't, you
- 46:21Speaker 1: can't be with him.
- 46:23Speaker 2: And I was so risky. It was a friend, so risky,
- 46:27Speaker 2: and I was so grateful to her. I tell her
- 46:29Speaker 2: every time I see her, like I so appreciated her honesty.
- 46:34Speaker 2: That is a real risk as a friend. That's a
- 46:36Speaker 2: good friend, a really good friend.
- 46:38Speaker 1: And it was so kind because I could have it
- 46:40Speaker 1: could have gone sideways.
- 46:41Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, you could have got super mad at her
- 46:43Speaker 2: or like told her she's jealous, or like all kinds
- 46:46Speaker 2: of wild stuff. Yeah, I'm not that good of a friend.
- 46:49Speaker 2: I'm not dabbling new. Every time I've done that, it
- 46:52Speaker 2: is backfired tremendously. So my friends have to make their
- 46:55Speaker 2: own bad decisions. Yeah, that's a good friend. Something kind. Wait,
- 47:00Speaker 2: I want to read it properly again and put it
- 47:01Speaker 2: back in the stack. I think it's put in the
- 47:03Speaker 2: right place. Something kind someone has done for you, that
- 47:06Speaker 2: left an impact on you. I feel like people do
- 47:10Speaker 2: a lot of kind things for me, which I'm really
- 47:14Speaker 2: grateful for. Actually, I have a friend's I'll give them
- 47:18Speaker 2: a shout out. Also, Bo sent me a great book
- 47:21Speaker 2: recently to read. It's called The Second Malon. You know
- 47:27Speaker 2: that book, David Brooks. Yeah, that is a good one.
- 47:30Speaker 2: It's a really great book. It's a really great book,
- 47:32Speaker 2: and it's about really finding your purpose, finding your flow state,
- 47:41Speaker 2: and what what like will motivate you throughout your life
- 47:46Speaker 2: that fulfills you, not just like pays your bills or
- 47:49Speaker 2: checks boxes. So it's a great book. And that was
- 47:51Speaker 2: a very very kind thing. That is kind. These are great.
- 47:55Speaker 2: I love when people send me a book. I know,
- 47:58Speaker 2: what a nice gesture. I love sending people books, even
- 48:00Speaker 2: if I know they are one hundred percent not gonna
- 48:02Speaker 2: read it. Maybe it's just I think it's important to
- 48:05Speaker 2: be surrounded by words. I agree with you. I have
- 48:07Speaker 2: so many books i've like bought. I am good for
- 48:10Speaker 2: buying a book. I've actually had to stop myself because
- 48:12Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't I need I don't need to
- 48:13Speaker 2: buy another book. I don't need another book. I need
- 48:16Speaker 2: to finish this book and then I can buy the
- 48:17Speaker 2: other book. Wait, I'm going to send you a book. Okay, wait,
- 48:20Speaker 2: I need to like my bookcase is over flow. Sorry, Joyce,
- 48:25Speaker 2: you know I should do Thank you. I will accept
- 48:27Speaker 2: gifts from you. Okay, she's already gotten me cigars. She's
- 48:30Speaker 2: a wonderful gift. Giver, so I will accept gifts from you.
- 48:34Speaker 2: I should donate the books that I've already read. That's fair,
- 48:38Speaker 2: and then I can clear up some space.
- 48:40Speaker 1: I love like profiling somebody and then giving them a book.
- 48:44Speaker 2: It's like the only time it's okay to do that,
- 48:46Speaker 2: and it's a very intentional thing, right, like to send
- 48:50Speaker 2: someone a book. I think reading is super important. It is,
- 48:54Speaker 2: I feel like especially now and for me recently, like
- 48:58Speaker 2: it really has helped me focus again because we can
- 49:01Speaker 2: get into these states of like constant doom scrolling, and
- 49:04Speaker 2: there's just like so much overstimulation. I don't want any
- 49:07Speaker 2: music gone, Like I just I like to sit and
- 49:10Speaker 2: like focus with my coffee and just relax and read. Cool.
- 49:15Speaker 2: I have to make time for it because I just
- 49:17Speaker 2: I have too much going on in my brain. I
- 49:19Speaker 2: don't want to check my phone, like just really holding
- 49:21Speaker 2: in on it. So I will. I will accept the book,
- 49:23Speaker 2: all right, So in return, I'm gonna do some rapid
- 49:25Speaker 2: fire of her own and I will answer them with
- 49:31Speaker 2: you as well. Your favorite homemade nostalgic food my grandmother's
- 49:39Speaker 2: boiled chicken. Okay, I don't know if it's boiled. I
- 49:42Speaker 2: don't cook what is it roasted chicken? Roasted? Yeah, roasted
- 49:45Speaker 2: sounds much better than boiled roasted chicken. We don't want
- 49:47Speaker 2: to do Grandma like that, carrots and celery and okay, yeah,
- 49:50Speaker 2: it's just roasted. That's like the bone and stuff. Yeah. Yeah,
- 49:52Speaker 2: roasted chicken my favorite. My mom cooks a lot of
- 49:56Speaker 2: dishes that are very just stalgic. But I think my
- 50:01Speaker 2: mom's chili. My mom makes amazing chili. Oh that's good. Yeah,
- 50:04Speaker 2: she has like a very specific recipe which I can
- 50:07Speaker 2: actually create. So that makes it really good because I'll
- 50:13Speaker 2: always have it. Yeah, but it's just it's such a
- 50:16Speaker 2: great chili. What's your most prized possession? Hmmm? I have
- 50:25Speaker 2: a book signed by Barbara Walters. Oh that I really love.
- 50:30Speaker 2: That is a good one. Yeah, that's a good one.
- 50:33Speaker 2: My most prized possession, I don't know. I think it's
- 50:38Speaker 2: you know, when the fires were happening. Oh, this is interesting,
- 50:43Speaker 2: and I asked people this question. Yeah, we had to
- 50:46Speaker 2: pack go bags out out here in California, in LA
- 50:50Speaker 2: and thankfully my house was not near it and I
- 50:53Speaker 2: didn't have to, but I had friends that came and
- 50:54Speaker 2: stay with me who had go bags and the things
- 50:56Speaker 2: that they brought were interesting. I couldn't when I go back.
- 51:00Speaker 2: There was nothing that I had that I can remember
- 51:05Speaker 2: packing that I felt like I couldn't lose. And I
- 51:10Speaker 2: think there's a lot of things I think I would
- 51:11Speaker 2: think about and be sad about. But if I had
- 51:16Speaker 2: to like grab something, I don't know. I don't know
- 51:21Speaker 2: what I would. I don't know what I would grab.
- 51:23Speaker 2: I'm a piece of jewelry or not. Really, I would
- 51:27Speaker 2: grab my passport because that is replaceable. But wow, I
- 51:32Speaker 2: don't want to do that now. I know that's not
- 51:33Speaker 2: the right answer to this, but I use that passport
- 51:35Speaker 2: a lot, so i'd probably try and find my passport.
- 51:39Speaker 1: For Rather, you would have everything burn except for you,
- 51:44Speaker 1: like so badly because you don't want to go deal
- 51:46Speaker 1: with governments.
- 51:48Speaker 2: Have to deal with the government. There's a better answer
- 51:50Speaker 2: to that. I just wanted to prepare for it. I will.
- 51:53Speaker 2: I will text you when I have it. Your first
- 51:56Speaker 2: celebrity crush. This is going to be I'm barrassing.
- 52:00Speaker 1: It's for it's so embarrassing. I think it was John
- 52:02Speaker 1: Stamos in Full House.
- 52:04Speaker 2: It's not embarrassing, that's like, that's no. Everyone loved Uncle
- 52:08Speaker 2: Jesse Uncle Jesse. Everyone loved Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse's hot.
- 52:13Speaker 1: Although honestly, I really loved Shamar Moore and that What's
- 52:18Speaker 1: that show that he was like the.
- 52:20Speaker 2: Girl, So two of the hottest people on the planet. Yeah,
- 52:23Speaker 2: but I feel like that's an embarrassing answer nowadays. You
- 52:25Speaker 2: know what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say a cartoon character.
- 52:28Speaker 2: So I think your cartoon. I mean, it wasn't Cocoam.
- 52:32Speaker 2: Everybody's I mean, that's be serious about this movie was
- 52:40Speaker 2: completely unbelievable. This second that she picked John Smith over Cocoam.
- 52:43Speaker 2: I mean, what are we doing? Girl? Girl agreed? What's
- 52:46Speaker 2: around the river bend? Nothing? Cocoam is right there, we
- 52:49Speaker 2: don't need to go around the river bed. At least
- 52:52Speaker 2: it was like a man cartoon or like a person.
- 52:54Speaker 2: It wasn't like Ursula. No. I also loved Yeah, well listen,
- 52:58Speaker 2: Ursula had some sass. I loves Raspbee. Who's Who's that?
- 53:05Speaker 2: Kenny says? Is crazy? Kenny, this is a judgment free zone.
- 53:14Speaker 2: I he had great lips and uh Christian Bale and newsies.
- 53:21Speaker 2: So I got range. You really have range? Yeah? Yeah,
- 53:25Speaker 2: so mine mine are a little bit different than Uncle
- 53:28Speaker 2: Jesse and Marmore. Miter Marmore was obviously a crush you,
- 53:30Speaker 2: but that was probably like more in college, all right,
- 53:32Speaker 2: a deal breaker in friendships talking behind my back gossip,
- 53:39Speaker 2: m Yeah, so no, go, I don't know what kind
- 53:43Speaker 2: of gossip like to other friends or to like people
- 53:45Speaker 2: who should not know things about you either, Yeah, say
- 53:49Speaker 2: it to my face. See, I think I prefer people
- 53:52Speaker 2: to talk about me in a normal way, like when
- 53:54Speaker 2: I don't know, wait what, yeah, Like you mean I
- 53:58Speaker 2: don't need to feedback all the time, like talk about
- 54:00Speaker 2: to our friend group like a normal person. Everyone gets
- 54:02Speaker 2: complained about. So I don't know if that would be
- 54:04Speaker 2: a deal breaker for me. Interesting now, real shit, like
- 54:07Speaker 2: real secrets and real things that we have confided in ourselves,
- 54:11Speaker 2: Like yeah, absolutely a deal breaker for sure. That's the
- 54:13Speaker 2: biggest betrayal that you can do to me as a
- 54:15Speaker 2: person is if I confide in you something, whatever it
- 54:18Speaker 2: may be, and then you use it against you, not
- 54:20Speaker 2: even necessarily share it, like you use it against me
- 54:23Speaker 2: or throw it in my face or something like that.
- 54:24Speaker 2: Like that is an instant deal breaker for me. But
- 54:28Speaker 2: like if you're like, I don't know if I really
- 54:29Speaker 2: like Joy's haircut, like it's you know, oh yeah, that's frivolous. Yeah,
- 54:34Speaker 2: I don't care about that. Oh okay, see you mean
- 54:36Speaker 2: like real shit. Yeah no, I think that's a deal
- 54:38Speaker 2: breaker for me too. I My number one deal breaker
- 54:41Speaker 2: for anyone is that if I confide in you, yeah,
- 54:44Speaker 2: I give you my trust and then you use it
- 54:47Speaker 2: to hurt me, You're just You're dead to me. It's like,
- 54:50Speaker 2: I think it's one of the worst things you can
- 54:52Speaker 2: do to a person. It's cruel. Well it's also just
- 54:55Speaker 2: like it's very very cruel, but it also deteriorates their
- 55:00Speaker 2: ability to function. I get so much more than just
- 55:03Speaker 2: like a normal betrayal, because you have to trust people
- 55:07Speaker 2: to move around the world, like whatever people say like,
- 55:09Speaker 2: oh I don't trust anyone, Like okay, do you go
- 55:12Speaker 2: to the grocery store, You're trusting that these people didn't
- 55:14Speaker 2: rub the produce on the floor before they put it
- 55:16Speaker 2: on the stands. There's a million things that we trust
- 55:19Speaker 2: each other to do to move around a functioning society.
- 55:23Speaker 2: So when you're doing something to someone that that deteriorates
- 55:26Speaker 2: their ability to like function around other people. Yeah, that's nuts.
- 55:30Speaker 2: What when's your birthday? January im a capricorn. Me too.
- 55:35Speaker 1: I think that's the betrayal thing. It drives me nuts.
- 55:38Speaker 1: We're like really sincere people.
- 55:40Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't. I do not like being vulnerable
- 55:43Speaker 2: with people like I don't enjoy the feeling of giving
- 55:46Speaker 2: my vulnerability away. It gives me anxiety. So if I
- 55:49Speaker 2: do that, you have to date a cancer. I love cancers.
- 55:52Speaker 2: I know they bring good things out in us. I
- 55:54Speaker 2: love cancers. They're so lovey too, Yeah they do. They're
- 55:58Speaker 2: very affectionate, which is a lot for me. But I
- 56:02Speaker 2: have I have a lot of cancer friends and they're
- 56:03Speaker 2: they're wonderful. Okay, finish this sentence. Society needs more love,
- 56:09Speaker 2: came to my mind. I mean that's that is probably
- 56:12Speaker 2: it's a great answer.
- 56:13Speaker 1: Yeah, nuance, empathy, there's a long list nowadays.
- 56:19Speaker 2: I think society needs more hand to hand violence. I'm sorry,
- 56:23Speaker 2: what Let's get rid of the guns and bring back
- 56:28Speaker 2: fisticuffs hand to hand, you know, I think we should
- 56:32Speaker 2: be a lot. We should have three to five a
- 56:37Speaker 2: lotted slaps per month that we can use. Anything over
- 56:41Speaker 2: than that is criminal. But like people have to have
- 56:44Speaker 2: a fear of not saying whatever the fuck they want
- 56:47Speaker 2: to people and they don't interesting, and I just feel
- 56:51Speaker 2: like we need to we need a little more measured violence.
- 56:53Speaker 2: You know, you need to go back to the days
- 56:54Speaker 2: where you had to square up if you said something crazy.
- 56:57Speaker 2: This is why you're on live TV. Love is the
- 57:02Speaker 2: correct answer. I'm following the other ye kindness. No, this
- 57:08Speaker 2: was great though, Thank you for thank you, Thank you
- 57:11Speaker 2: for coming in. I love this. I love this. I'm
- 57:13Speaker 2: one hundred percent going and buying it. And you can
- 57:16Speaker 2: purchase the card game at Question Everything shop dot com
- 57:20Speaker 2: and of course go follow at Danielle at Danielle Robe
- 57:24Speaker 2: and you can catch her podcast Question Everything on YouTube
- 57:27Speaker 2: and all podcasts platforms. Thanks so much for coming down.
- 57:30Speaker 2: Thank you, You're so fun. Thank you you were great,
- 57:32Speaker 2: and thank you for my cigars. Of course we'll smoke
- 57:35Speaker 2: cohe this together. Yes, that was so much fun. Make
- 57:37Speaker 2: sure you go and follow her and get her card game.
- 57:40Speaker 2: I am definitely going to bring that to my next
- 57:42Speaker 2: dinner party and spice things up. It's time for Never
- 57:45Speaker 2: Too Personal. If you want to be a part of
- 57:47Speaker 2: the show, email us at two Personal Podcasts at gmail
- 57:50Speaker 2: dot com, or you can dm us on Instagram at
- 57:53Speaker 2: two Personal Show. And you should go and follow us
- 57:55Speaker 2: on all of our social media pages as well. So
- 57:57Speaker 2: this question is quite personal. What do I do about
- 58:02Speaker 2: my girlfriend who I've been with for four years faithfully
- 58:06Speaker 2: and still wants to use condoms. I don't know. I
- 58:16Speaker 2: don't know. It's not often that you guys stump me,
- 58:19Speaker 2: but I don't know. Okay, Well, I will say this,
- 58:26Speaker 2: four years is a long time, and some people really
- 58:32Speaker 2: enjoy condom sex, Like I have friends who prefer to
- 58:37Speaker 2: use condoms. It sounds like you've reached the end of
- 58:40Speaker 2: your condom journey in your monogamous relationship. The answer to
- 58:44Speaker 2: most of these questions is to communicate. So the best
- 58:50Speaker 2: advice that I can give you for this is to
- 58:54Speaker 2: communicate with her that you would like to stop using condoms.
- 58:58Speaker 2: Listen to why she obviously feels comfortable using condoms. I mean,
- 59:02Speaker 2: sex is a very intimate thing. Obviously it's very important
- 59:05Speaker 2: to her to protect her body, which we should all
- 59:08Speaker 2: be doing. But if you're in a monogamous relationship, obviously
- 59:11Speaker 2: the trusts that you are exchanging a safe sex environment
- 59:17Speaker 2: is one that is important, but obviously very much matters
- 59:20Speaker 2: to her. So I think you should communicate with her,
- 59:23Speaker 2: have that conversation, understand why she feels that way, and
- 59:26Speaker 2: maybe if she wants to, you know, get tested once
- 59:29Speaker 2: in a month or implement something like that that would make
- 59:32Speaker 2: her feel more comfortable and allow you guys to you know,
- 59:35Speaker 2: get rid of the condoms during sex. It seems like
- 59:38Speaker 2: that's probably the best way to handle it. I mean,
- 59:40Speaker 2: I again, I am not a certified sex therapist. I
- 59:44Speaker 2: am not a doctor, and I am not a therapist.
- 59:46Speaker 2: This is just my personal advice that you guys have solicited.
- 59:51Speaker 2: So I think that communicating with her, listening to her concerns,
- 59:56Speaker 2: and trying to offer a realistic and fair alternative that
- 1:00:01Speaker 2: allows you guys to have a safe, intimate relationship where
- 1:00:05Speaker 2: she feels comfortable and you are able to enjoy sex
- 1:00:09Speaker 2: without condoms is probably the way to go. But this,
- 1:00:12Speaker 2: this one, this one stopped me for a few minutes.
- 1:00:14Speaker 2: I think I landed the plane though. I feel like
- 1:00:16Speaker 2: that was solid advice. I feel like that solid advice.
- 1:00:18Speaker 2: I hope it works out for you. Thanks for sending
- 1:00:21Speaker 2: in your question. If you want to be a part
- 1:00:22Speaker 2: of the show Two Personal Podcasts at gmail dot com
- 1:00:25Speaker 2: or Too Personal Show on all of our social media pages.
- 1:00:28Speaker 2: Thanks for hanging out and we'll catch you next week.