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From the Heart of a Father · The Defender Podcast

• 0:02
  Herbie Newell: Welcome to the defender podcast, a resource to help mobilize and equip the body of Christ to manifest the gospel to orphans and vulnerable children. This podcast is a ministry of Lifeline Children Services, and I'm your host, Herbie Newell.
• 0:18
  Dr. Rick Morton: Alright. I'm Rick Morton, and this is the Defender Podcast. Well, folks, can you believe it? We're in June, and we're turning the corner on being ready to celebrate Father's Day. And and so today, I want you to, get ready to join us for an episode.
• 0:34
  I'm gonna be talking to Chip McKenzie. Chip's life underscores the profound impact that fatherhood can have, through domestic adoption. And and so his journey seen him navigate the twist of marriage, career transitions, joys of raising, 5 children with his high school sweetheart, Melissa. Their family expanded through domestic adoption, with the recent addition of their youngest, Carson. And so Chip's story is a testament to the transformative power of about just some of his reactions and reflections on faith and community and the joys of fatherhood, including the joys of adoptive fatherhood.
• 1:23
  But before we get there, we want to remind you about giving day. And so, we're going to today, as we said, we're going to be talking about domestic adoption. But and one of the things we don't want to forget is last year, 85 children joined their families through domestic adoption, as a part of the Lifeline family. And so partnering with Lifeline enables more families to transform their lives through the journey of adoption. And we wanna ask you to join us for our Giving Day on June 21st, just a couple of weeks from now, or maybe even now.
• 2:01
  You can join us right now. You don't have to wait until Giving Day, to make hope possible for more children and and to help more families, be able to bring children into their forever homes. You can visit lifelinechild. Dotorg/giving, where you can see our show notes to find out more about how to give, today or on giving day, or maybe even both if you want to. We'll let you give twice.
• 2:26
  It's okay. So as I said, Chip McKenzie is my guest. And Chip's, life is a whirlwind of adventure and fulfillment. I can't wait to find out what this means because I've been waiting for, like, a week. Encapsulating a decade marked by marriage, career shifts, parenthood, and domestic adoption.
• 2:46
  As I said, he married his high school sweetheart, Melissa. Together they navigated the joys of raising 5 kids, including twins. And then they brought Carson into their home through domestic adoption. And so y'all help me welcome, my buddy Chip to the podcast. Chip, glad you're here, man.
• 3:06
  Chip McKenzie: Hey. Good afternoon. I'm glad to be here.
• 3:09
  Dr. Rick Morton: Well, man, you know, life's changed a little. Right?
• 3:14
  Chip McKenzie: Absolutely. Change for the better, I'd say.
• 3:17
  Dr. Rick Morton: Well, that's awesome. So so Carson is is the latest addition to your family, but that that makes now there's there's what? 7 of you guys, if I can count correctly?
• 3:28
  Chip McKenzie: Yes. 7 total, Melissa and I, and our 5 children.
• 3:32
  Dr. Rick Morton: Man. Well, there must be, like, something happening in your house all the time.
• 3:40
  Chip McKenzie: You can say that again. Yep. I I wouldn't be surprised if you can hear some background noise at the back, with some of the kids playing. So, I'll apologize if
• 3:50
  Dr. Rick Morton: they friendly podcast and a kid friendly minister around here. So we don't we don't care if they bust in on you or whatever. They could just be become part of the show. It's it's totally fine. Good.
• 4:00
  Well, man, I'd love it if we could just kinda start maybe with you talking a little bit about your adoption journey and what really what led you and Melissa to the place that you you felt like God was calling you to to lean into adoption for, a a part of the way to build your family.
• 4:23
  Chip McKenzie: Absolutely. So I would say that the concept of adoption was never really foreign to me. My my family, I was one of 5 kids growing up. Growing up in Ohio, we were part of a pretty large homeschool community, and the idea of adoption, at least within that homeschool community was was very common. And so I always grew up with, kids around my same age that had been adopted whether domestically or internationally.
• 4:55
  And so the the concept of adoption was never really, like, a foreign concept. And, but, you know, I grew up, as you mentioned, Melissa, my high school sweetheart. We got married shortly after she graduated college. And very shortly after that, we we found out that she was pregnant, and that was with our oldest children, the twins, 9 year now 9 year old, boy and girl. And, our family, you know, at a pretty consistent pace, continued to grow.
• 5:32
  You know, shortly after that, we had my son, Aiden, and, now my youngest daughter, Hazel. So at one point, we had 4 kids, 4 and under, within our household. And, so, I mean, life life was pretty crazy. We are newly married, rapidly expanding family. I I was relatively new in my career, not not too far out of college, and my career was pretty demanding at the time.
• 6:03
  And so life was just, very full, definitely filled with joy, but, also pretty demanding. And, while we lived in Ohio, we had, a friend that we had met from church, a a couple who had, a biological child, but also had gone through the foster to adopt process, and they had, 2 older boys from the foster system. And I remember having a cons a conversation with my friend, Ryan, and he said, you know, at the time and this the statistics may have changed a little bit, but at the time, he said, Chip, if one family out of every 3 churches in the US adopted just one child, there would be no more kids in the adoption system in the US. And I thought, wow. Like, just to put it in that type of perspective, that was incredible to me.
• 6:59
  And, I never really got over that statistic. Like, that kinda stayed in my mind, and I never really forgot about that. And, but at the same time, you know, we had 4 kids of our own, and, you know, wife was definitely pretty busy. And and I I thought, I don't know if adoption is for us, and I didn't even really want to approach the topic with my wife, Melissa, because I knew she had her hands full. And so that kind of just stayed in the back of my mind.
• 7:33
  I, you know, I wasn't seriously pursuing it, but every time I thought about it, I thought, man, you know, what's what's one more? But I I kinda sat on my hands and and didn't really take initiative in that. Well, you know, many things changed. As I said, our youngest daughter, Hazel, was born, and about 6 months after that, ended up, continuing with my my career, with my employer, but we moved down to Alabama. And so, definitely pretty busy.
• 8:05
  And, it was one afternoon where Melissa and I must have been going out on a date. We were, for some reason, by ourselves, must have had a babysitter. We were just running some errands. We were walking into the store, and Melissa, said, really kind of out of nowhere, You know, Chip, I sometimes I feel like, God may be calling us to adopt. And if we if we aren't obedient, if we don't adopt, we might be being disobedient.
• 8:40
  And that floored me. And what I did not know was her perspective that for, the last 3 years also, totally separate, she had been considering the concept of adoption but was too nervous to bring it up to me. Wow. I'm thinking, well, he he's he's got too much on his plate, and now's not the right time. And so you can kinda see how the Holy Spirit had been working individually in both of our lives and, worked out the timing perfectly.
• 9:08
  And and my response to that was, absolutely. In fact, I think I think if we're gonna do that, we should do it sooner rather than later. And that took her by surprise. I I think, maybe she was considering that for a year or 2 down the road, but I was immediate action. It's like, that's the goal.
• 9:26
  Let's do it.
• 9:27
  Dr. Rick Morton: Man, that's amazing. And and what a what an incredible thing to know that and not like we should be surprised, right? But like the Lord was dealing individually in both of your hearts and accomplishing something that he was going to bring you together in. And I love the fact that your story is you guys, like, it's just real life. Like, you're busy.
• 9:56
  You're not at a convenient time in your career. You're not at a convenient time in your family. You're not like, there's nothing convenient about about any of this. Mhmm. But the only thing like while you can come up with a lot of things that you could have said were that made it the wrong time, the one thing that made it the right time was that God and moving you in that direction.
• 10:21
  And so so then, you know, so you have this calling, you know, like you're like there's this thing God's doing in your life. And and then and and so then you realize that the Holy Spirit is prompting you. Mhmm. So, like, what happened next? What did you guys do?
• 10:43
  And what was the kind of what was the journey like to go from this idea, you know, this concept that we should adopt or maybe God's calling us to do this, to actually acting upon that and taking steps and and and beginning the journey.
• 11:00
  Chip McKenzie: No. Absolutely. So, when we both made the decision that we were gonna be obedient and, you know, be faithful in pursuing this to adopt to adopt internationally. In our in our mind, we had, like, a a little girl from, somewhere, maybe somewhere in Asia just because, you know, we didn't know what the the needs were. And we started doing some research.
• 11:32
  Honestly, the the the rubber met the road when we started Google searching what the different adoption programs were around us, started speaking with friends who had done adoption in the past. And when we moved down to Alabama, we landed in a small town about an hour away from Birmingham. And as we started researching adoption, we really felt that we were being called more towards domestic adoption. And so, really, just through a Google search, we found Lifeline. We found that it was close by.
• 12:06
  We liked that it was in within the state. It'll be easy to get to. We saw all the the positive, the positive feedback and reviews from individuals who had worked with Lifeline. And so the, really the first tangible step was reaching out to Lifeline and getting the process started.
• 12:25
  Dr. Rick Morton: Man, that's awesome. You know, I think and I I kinda think back and even reflect back on our, you know, our own adoption process. And I think a lot of us do just what you did, which is, you don't know. Right? You don't you don't know where you're supposed to go or what you're supposed to do.
• 12:40
  And and and part of the, you know, part of the the the deal in all this is, is that that, God has a set of steps ordered for you. Absolutely. I firmly believe that. God has a destination for you. He has a child for you.
• 12:57
  God God has those things arranged, but we don't know them. And and so there's a lot that it's about taking the next step and kind of doing the next right thing
• 13:10
  Chip McKenzie: and
• 13:11
  Dr. Rick Morton: and trusting that part of the process is is informing yourself and understanding what all the options are. And, and one of the things that we love as a ministry is getting to come alongside families that are that are trying to clarify that, you know, that question and that are trying to really discern what is it that God's doing in our family and what's, you know, what's what's in our best interest as a family, what's in the best interest of the child that we're going to bring into our home. And and I love the fact that, you know, that you you went into the process thinking one thing. But but you really through time and research and prayer and all those things that were happening, you really kind of came to see that there was a there was a different path. Maybe not what you what you thought in the beginning.
• 13:57
  And and that, you know, we we laugh and all the time and say, you know, God has this thing rigged. And and as much as we want to try to, you know, to chart a course, the the Lord has a right path. And and so, you know, thanks for thanks for sharing that piece because I think for for a lot of folks maybe that are out there listening to us that are considering adoption or praying through what what it is that God might be doing in in their lives, Maybe one of the reasons that sometimes people are reluctant is they they don't have it all figured out and they don't have all their questions answered. As a matter of fact, there are some there are some national surveys that were have been done in the last few years that that say really kind of the two reasons that people don't pursue adoption when they've Christians. When Christians are kind of feeling a pull toward adoption when they don't, it's generally because they don't get their questions answered and because of financial barriers.
• 14:59
  And and and so, you know, we're we're committed to trying to break both of those down by providing, you know, good information, but also, you know, also pointing people to financial resources and help and and coming alongside and counseling, in ways that that will, you know, that'll help you to be able to accomplish what it is that God has, you know, God has set out for your family. So, so you guys stepped into the adoption process. You, you know, you, you did all the things you, you met with social workers, you had, you know, you had social workers come to your home, you'd all these intimidating things. Right? I'm laughing because because we're all scared of that.
• 15:38
  And then what you find out is it's just somebody that's coming to kinda, you know, like get to know you and, and walk through the process. Absolutely. You know, kind of guide you through the process. And and so so what was that like to, you know, to kind of take the steps into, you know, submitting yourself to an adoption process? And and, like, what was that like for your family as as you guys were were going through the the preparation process?
• 16:07
  Chip McKenzie: Well, I I will certainly admit that, I was a little bit, nervous about, you know, what type of investigation or what type of, scrutiny I was gonna come under. But to be completely honest, the entire, process for the home study and, getting all the background, information filled out was pretty straightforward. And, you know, after it was complete, it's like, you know, why was I even worried about that? It's more of a fear of the unknown, and I think that's somewhat normal. Maybe it was just me, but, the Lifeline team was extremely, professional, easy to work with.
• 16:52
  You know, with, having our our children there, you know, I was wondering, oh, man. I I wonder, you know, what my kids are gonna get asked or what's gonna come out of their mouth. But, really, all of those fears or concerns were totally in my head. It was a a pretty smooth process, definitely thorough. You know, I I was relieved that they're doing, the lifeline is doing such due diligence on prospective families, and I appreciated that.
• 17:26
  And, it may seem like a daunting task to get through all of all of the the process, but really, you just put one foot in front of the other Right. And, get the steps knocked out, and it really that that time flew by.
• 17:43
  Dr. Rick Morton: Yeah. And it That's awesome.
• 17:45
  Chip McKenzie: And it really like, that extra time, helped our family, kinda process and prepare for adoption, both, like, mentally, spiritually, and even financially, as we knew what steps were ahead of us and as we were marching towards that goal, that, that little bit of time was definitely welcome.
• 18:06
  Dr. Rick Morton: Yeah. And we, you know, we really want to come alongside families in ways that we're that we're helping helping you have that perspective to say, look, this is this is the weight is actually grace. Right? Like it's not it's not punishment. It's grace.
• 18:21
  And the Lord's going to grant you some time to to study and to get ready and to prepare. Because there are some things about, you know, about becoming a parent through adoption that are different. And and and there there are things that you, you know, you're gonna need to be ready for along the way, both at placement and, you know, even, you know, in the the the years to come, questions that you wanna have anticipated, things that you wanna have worked through. And and so, you know, this is really, you know, the opportunity to the the wait is kind of the opportunity to do that. And and I think I think the other thing that our our team really loves is just being able to prayerfully walk with families through this process.
• 19:04
  And, you know, it's we count it an incredible joy to be able to be part of the faith journey of families and part of the discipleship journey. And so we like we see our families in, you know, in these incredibly vulnerable moments when, you know, when you guys are are, you know, submitting yourself to the Lord and not knowing what's in the future and all of those kinds of things. But the way that the Lord grows your faith. The way that the Lord really grows your family as a result of the process that you're in and what you've submitted yourself to. And as a ministry, it's our great privilege to be able to walk alongside that and to be a prayer partner and to be a friend and to be all those things.
• 19:53
  And so I love to hear you say what you're saying because it it just it it affirms to me what I already know, which is, I love our team. And I and I love the people who, you know, who who are here on the front lines doing that. And, and so so, man, so, you know, so you're you're now at at this point and we'll kind of fast forward through the, you know, through the wait or whatever. But there's a there's a point where you're sitting around one day and you're not expecting it. And all of a sudden a social worker calls and, and then it's like it's on.
• 20:28
  Right? Like it's
• 20:29
  Chip McKenzie: Yes.
• 20:29
  Dr. Rick Morton: Like it's happening. And, and and so and so you go from all this preparation and all this stuff to, to being Carson's dad and, and like to the, to the point of placement. So like to other dudes that are out there that are, that are in the place where where they're considering adoption or maybe their wife's come to them and said, hey, God's been dealing with my heart about adoption and they've you know, they've got some questions. What would you what would you say to another dad about adoption now that you're on the other side of the process and and you're Carson's dad?
• 21:11
  Chip McKenzie: Yeah. That's a good question. I would primarily say speaking, directly to a husband or a father who might be considering adoption, the number one thing is don't wait until you feel like you're totally prepared because, honestly, you're never going to feel like you're totally prepared. You know, I'm not saying pursue anything foolishly, but I am saying that if you feel that call from the holy spirit, pray about it, and then take the first step of obedience. Yeah.
• 21:43
  Take the first step. Lead your family, in obedience. Take that, first step, of faith and pursue it ambitiously and, trust the lord each step of the process. And, you you can't go wrong doing that. So,
• 22:00
  Dr. Rick Morton: listen, this is a little bit so I'm taking you off script here for just a second. So I'm I'm I'm gonna warn you. Like, we're gonna we're gonna go we're gonna go where where no two dads have gone before. No. I but but I I'm curious, like, through the process, what did what's God taught you about himself as in in in your becoming a dad through adoption?
• 22:24
  Anything you've learned or any insight that you've gotten about the father as a result of maybe of what you walked through to this point?
• 22:32
  Chip McKenzie: I would say that this was definitely, a solid reminder that God definitely has his timing, perfectly set. You know, I, a part of my career is making meticulous plans and following them to the t. And and so I like to to to plan things out to some degree, and the the lord is constantly reminding me, no. I I appreciate you having a plan, but I've got something better for you. That's alright.
• 23:04
  So that's definitely a good reminder that the Lord is worthy to be trusted. Absolutely.
• 23:12
  Dr. Rick Morton: Man, that's a good word. You know, I think, we all have a tendency to want to, like, write the script and play the movie out in our mind the way we think it's gonna be. And and and it never turns out that way, right? But it always turns out better. And it's always and it's always in a way that God shows us something about himself and and does something to affirm our faith and and help us to grow to be more like him.
• 23:42
  And and that's, you know, that even in the midst of our anxiety sometimes, that's just God's graciousness coming out. And and so I love that. Well, you know, we talk about a lot around here. And you've heard us say it a 1000000 times about the fact that the the part of part of pursuing adoption is like, this is tough. It can be hard.
• 24:07
  It can be hard in a way. It can be hard through the process. Mhmm. And so having a community of support around you is is is really, really important. And really, one of the most valuable resources that you can have in adoption.
• 24:22
  Folks sometimes think that the financial aspect of adoption is the hardest part. And and it's really not like we you can find money. We can we can help you find money. Like, it's like it's not the financial aspect is is easily overcome. But I think that, you know, having that that series of relationships around you and the people that are around you to support you.
• 24:47
  And so, like, how how has community been important for y'all, particularly as people that are they're fairly new to your, you know, to your church and your community and and all that. Like, what's God done in that piece for you?
• 25:03
  Chip McKenzie: I would definitely say that, having a solid support group, whether that's your family or your your friend group or your church is definitely critical. For us, we had, you know, some family where we had moved to, but we really leaned heavily, into the support of our church, particularly our Sunday school class. I I you know, this is not specific for adoption, but, I would plead with believers, wherever you are in your stage of life, make sure you've got a solid, church and particularly, like, a small group or a Sunday school class of believers, like minded believers that you can rely on. When we made, when we started telling people, at our church that we were pursuing adoption, there was quite a few opportunities for sharing what the Lord had done in our life and sharing more about what, adoption looked like. I think just like my wife and I had, there was maybe some misconceptions about what adoption looks like and, what that process is.
• 26:16
  But, definitely a lot of support, particularly from our Sunday school class, a lot of prayer that we could, you know, we could count on that, you know, we have a group of individuals, lifting us up in prayer. And then once we brought Carson home, the the excitement and being able to to share that joy with, like minded believers around us was awesome. And still the support that we have from our church. And, having having our son, Carson, with us, he's he's probably one of the most popular, of the bunch. You know?
• 26:54
  Now he's a little bit older. He's, quite popular in the the church nursery, and, everyone just he's like a superstar. I mean, so having that support of individuals you can trust and, you you know, they can love on you, that was that was super critical.
• 27:11
  Dr. Rick Morton: Well and I think, you know, there there were a lot of people in your church, I'm sure, that that felt like they were part of the journey. Right? Absolutely. Like they were they were praying for you guys and they were, you know, they were invested in it with you. And so, you know, they kind of feel like they're playing on Team Carson now.
• 27:27
  And that's a good thing. And we want that. Right? I think, you know, it it also just, you know, as you say that it just one thing that I would say to folks that are out there listening. If you're, you know, if you happen on to this podcast and you're in a church and you're trying to figure out how to start a ministry to adopt and foster families or whatever.
• 27:49
  And you're going like, hey, I don't know what I don't know what to do to support. I want to, but I don't know what to do. Ask. Absolutely. You know, like just ask because because because the fact is that that, you know, if they'll tell you and and families will tell you if they need, you know, if they need something, if they need prayer, if they need whatever it is.
• 28:09
  And so I think being just being open to hell is is the main thing. Well, so, Chip, we're gonna we're gonna wind our time down here. But, just one one final question. So obviously, we're we're on the run up to Father's Day. A bunch of us are expecting to get another tie that we'll never wear.
• 28:31
  So I say it, you know, because isn't it isn't it funny, like, moms get, like, these amazing gifts and stuff on Mother's Day. And, like, Mother's Day is such a big deal. And then Father's Day, it's like it's like a homemade card and a tie. And yeah. And and so and moms deserve that.
• 28:49
  Right? Like we Yeah. But so so in addition to your tie, what would you tell, you know, if there if there if there are dads that are out there that are adoptive dads, maybe prospective adoptive dads? What encouragement would you give them, as kind of as we close out on this Father's Day?
• 29:12
  Chip McKenzie: Yeah. So encouragement specifically speaking to, prospective dads. I hear this misconception a lot, that, oh, well, God will never give you more than you can handle. And and I gotta tell you that is so 100% false. God will oftentimes give you way more than you can handle, but he'll never give you more than you can handle when you're relying on him.
• 29:36
  I mean, look at look at biblical examples. Moses, Joshua, David, Daniel, all of these men had overwhelming odds against them, and it was their, reliance on the Lord that got them through their difficult situation. So the encouragement I want to give to men, comes from, Paul's first letter to Corinth, chapter 16 verses, 13 to 14. It says, be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men. Be strong, and let all that you do be done in love.
• 30:14
  And what an awesome encouragement that was to me. Men, we need to be watchful of the needs in our community, in our nation. We need to stand in the faith, relying on the, on the Lord, which is our strength. Most importantly, act like men in a society that, you know, masculinity is, you know, portrayed as a bad thing. We need to act like men and be strong, for our families and doing what's difficult to do, but also letting everything you do be done in love.
• 30:45
  And what, what better act of compassion and love than, adopting a child that needs a loving family. That's my version.
• 30:55
  Dr. Rick Morton: That is awesome. Jim McKenzie, thank you, buddy. I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you. May the Lord bless you and your family. And, and may you enjoy, this first Father's Day as a father of 5.
• 31:11
  And, and I hope you guys have a ball. And, and we wanna thank you today for joining the Defender podcast. We will be right back here again next week with another episode. And we're going to be talking as always about ways that we can serve vulnerable children, vulnerable families, do it in a way that reflects the heart of God our Father and puts on display the story of redemption of our King Jesus. And so we're thankful for you.
• 31:42
  We'd love to hear from you. You can find us at lifelinechild.org or in all the on all the social media channels at Lifeline Child. We'd love to hear feedback from you. Or if there's a way we can help you, we'd love to hear from you. And so until next week, I'm Rick Morton, and this is
• 32:07
  Herbie Newell: Thanks for listening to the Defender Podcast. If you enjoy making this podcast a part of your weekly routine, we'd love for you to take a moment to subscribe, rate, and review the Defender Podcast to make it easier for more people to find. For more information on how you and your church can partner with Lifeline, visit us at lifelinechild.org. If you want to connect with me, please visit herbynewell.com. Follow us at Lifeline on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter by searching for Lifeline Child.
• 32:32
  You can email us directly at info at lifelinechild.org. Beloved, will you allow god to use the gospel to you to impact the life of a child? Please contact us because we are here to defend the fatherless. We'll see you again next week for the defender podcast.