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Transcript

Am I Healed Enough to Date? 7 Signs You’re Loving From a Healed Heart · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

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  There's a version of you that love from fear, maybe even survival.
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  You love from abandonment, rejection, from feeling unseen.
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  You may have given too much, clung too tightly, ignored red flags,
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  or even carried relationships on your back.
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  Sis, have you ever wondered if you're finally loving from a healed place?
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  If the way you show up and love today reflects the woman God has been shaping,
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  correcting, pruning, and strengthening behind the scenes?
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  In today's episode, we're diving into seven signs you're no longer loving from
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  fear, past hurt, or survival mode, but from clarity, confidence.
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  Truly healed. We're talking about the shift that happens when consistency no
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  longer scares you, when goodness doesn't make you suspicious,
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  and when you stop abandoning yourself for love.
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  Before we dive in, I'd love your help.
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  If you've been blessed by this podcast, take a moment to follow the show and leave a review.
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  Your support helps more women like you find truth, healing, and hope.
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  Together, we're helping women
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  step into God's best and embrace the kind of love he's designed for us.
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  I want to take a minute to read a review from Virginia.
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  Virginia says, a blessing to you and your future.
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  Emily is a well of wisdom and relatability. Think of this as the big sister
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  God knew you needed to have a coffee chat with.
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  Thank you so much, Virginia. We appreciate your love and support.
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  I hope that I help other women truly feel like that.
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  As I journey along with you, using my own testimony, my own story to inspire
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  you to walk differently.
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  I truly believe God is calling each of us into a new season,
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  into a new space, into new love.
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  I think he just has the best for us. So thank you for your support, Virginia.
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  We love you. Hey sis, welcome to Girl Date the Good Guy podcast,
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  the space where we strip away the noise and get real about toxic cycles,
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  healing, and stepping into the love God has for us.
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  I'm your host, Emily Jordan, and I've been where you are, heartbroken,
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  confused, and chasing love that didn't come from God.
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  So grab your coffee, your journal, and your heart, and let's begin.
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  Welcome back to the show, sis. I am so excited that you are here today,
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  embracing this amazing, beautiful day that God has given us.
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  I am so happy that you are here.
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  We are going to be going a little bit deeper into how to love from a healed heart.
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  Last week, I did a bit of an introduction to this, and this week,
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  today, Friday, I did it. I got this episode out.
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  Ladies, please bear with me. I don't know if it's just the devil is just attacking
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  me because he doesn't want these episodes to get out,
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  but I have been just bombarded with other things that have come up that have
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  tried to take the place of this podcast, and I refuse to let that happen.
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  So please be praying for me.
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  I am trying to get new episodes out for you every Wednesday and Friday,
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  just to bring you some consistency so we can grow and build together.
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  So stay patient with me as I continue to journey along, figuring out how to make all of this happen.
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  So here we are. There comes a point in your growth where you pause and think,
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  hold on, I don't respond the way I used to.
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  I don't choose the way I used to. I'm not attracted to the same dysfunction I once tolerated.
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  That's healing. That's maturity.
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  That's God changing the blueprint of your heart.
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  Today, we're unpacking the seven clearest signs that your heart has shifted
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  from brokenness to wholeness, from fear to discernment, from abandonment wounds
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  to emotional stability,
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  from unhealthy patterns to God-aligned love.
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  And sis, this isn't theory. This is lived experience.
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  This is the road I walked with God, with tears, with prayer, with honesty.
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  And as I learned how to love again after years of celibacy, heartbreak, and fear?
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  By the end of this episode, you'll see your journey differently.
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  You'll recognize the growth you overlooked, and you'll know whether you're finally
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  loving from a healed heart. Let's dive in.
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  Let me take you into my own story for a moment, because I didn't always love from a healed heart.
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  I didn't always show up whole, calm, or confident.
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  I was still a broken mess when I started to date my man, and that's just the truth.
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  After 10 years of celibacy, I had absolutely no idea how to actually be in a healthy relationship.
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  I knew how to pray. I knew how to protect myself.
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  I knew how to survive heartbreak. But love, receiving love, letting someone
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  in without fear, swallowing me whole?
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  Sis, I didn't know what that looked like. And then God sent him.
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  My boyfriend showed up with a kind of humility and patience I had never seen
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  before. It wasn't loud. It wasn't flashy.
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  It wasn't manipulative. It was quiet, steady, and genuine.
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  He didn't try to rush me. He didn't pressure me. He didn't punish me for being scared.
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  He just waited patiently for me to learn how to stop loving from fear,
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  abandonment, and constant validation seeking.
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  And I'll tell you the truth. I will never be able to repay him for the way he
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  led me during that season.
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  Because what he offered wasn't just love. It was leadership rooted in God.
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  He didn't try to become my healer.
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  Instead, he gently pointed me back to God. Every time I spiraled into anxiety,
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  every time I feared getting hurt again, every time that thought crossed my mind,
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  what if I choose wrong again?
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  What if I walk right back into a toxic cycle?
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  He didn't shame me. He didn't get frustrated. He just kept nudging me softly.
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  Breathe. Pray. We're going to get through this.
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  And sis, I'd be lying if I said it was easy.
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  There were nights I cried. Nights I battled with my own thoughts.
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  Nights where fear tried to convince me to run.
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  Nights where everything in me wanted to sabotage something good because I didn't
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  feel ready for it. But those nights of confusion and wrestling?
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  Those nights of sitting with God while my heart trembled, those nights where
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  I had to choose faith over fear, one shaky step at a time, those were the nights
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  that opened the door to my breakthrough.
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  Because through his patience, through God's guidance, through the process of
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  unlearning and healing, I finally discovered what healthy, godly love feels like.
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  What it looks like, what it sounds like, what it requires. And now,
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  sis, I can say this with my whole chest.
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  I love from a healed heart. Not a perfect one, not a guarded one, not a fearful one.
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  A healed, God-shaped, whole heart.
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  And if God did it for me, he can absolutely do it for you.
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  So I want to give you seven characteristics of loving from a healed heart. You ready?
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  Let's go. Number one, you let love in slowly, not fearfully.
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  When you're healed, you understand that love is something you build,
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  not something you sprint into.
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  You're not dragging the relationship forward because you're anxious,
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  and you're not slamming the brakes because you're scared.
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  Instead, you're pacing yourself with wisdom.
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  You understand this is a slow burn, something with depth and intention,
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  not a popcorn moment that pops fast and disappears just as quickly.
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  You listen to the Holy Spirit. You check in with God.
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  You allow the connection to unfold with peace, maturity, and emotional stability.
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  You're not trying to impress him or rush him. You're just letting it grow the
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  way God designed healthy love to grow.
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  Number two, you stop flinching at goodness. Healthy love no longer feels like a setup.
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  Consistency, kindness, respect, they don't make you suspicious anymore.
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  You're no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop or rehearsing heartbreak
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  in your mind. You let yourself breathe.
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  You let yourself enjoy a man who shows up, who means what he says,
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  and whose actions match his words.
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  You begin to trust the rhythm of peace and stability because you finally know
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  this is what love is supposed to feel like.
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  3. You love courageously, not carelessly. Healing brings confidence.
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  You don't shrink. You don't downplay your needs. You don't apologize for wanting
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  a God-centered, emotionally safe relationship.
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  You love with boldness, but you also love with boundaries because you understand
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  that boundaries aren't walls. They're wisdom.
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  You protect your peace without guilt. You show up with courage because you know
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  your heart is valuable and you refuse to hand it to anyone who hasn't shown
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  emotional maturity, consistency, and fruit.
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  Number four, you no longer try to save or fix people. I want to say that one again.
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  You no longer try to save or fix people.
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  You finally realize that healing someone else isn't your job. That's God's work.
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  You refuse to be the emotional lifeguard or spiritual rehab for men who aren't
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  doing the work themselves.
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  You don't entertain potential anymore, hoping he'll grow into the man you need.
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  You choose partners based on what their life already shows, not what you hope it will be someday.
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  You no longer refuse chaos for chemistry. Peace becomes your new normal,
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  and anything that disrupts it doesn't get access to you.
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  Number five, you love with discernment and clarity.
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  Your vision is no longer blurry. You're not choosing from loneliness or desperation.
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  You're not recycling old fantasies or ignoring deal breakers.
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  You honor red flags the first time. You honor God's peace, even when your heart wants to rush.
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  You honor your intuition because you recognize it as the Holy Spirit's nudge.
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  Clarity becomes your new filter and it keeps you safe. Number six,
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  you receive love without shrinking.
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  A healed woman knows how to receive. You allow someone to love you well without
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  sabotaging it or minimizing yourself.
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  You stop dimming your light so he doesn't feel insecure.
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  You stop hiding your gifts, your joy, your calling, your personality.
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  You let yourself be fully seen, fully valued, and fully known.
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  You receive healthy love as something you deserve, not something you have to earn.
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  Number seven, last but definitely not least, you love without betraying yourself.
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  You stay true to your standards even when you're emotionally invested.
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  You don't abandon your voice to keep the peace.
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  You don't bend your identity just to be chosen.
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  You don't shape-shift or shrink just to keep a man interested.
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  You remain rooted in God, in truth, and in who you are becoming.
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  Love is no longer a place of self-abandonment. It becomes a place where you
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  show up whole, steady, and anchored.
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  All right, sis, now your call to action. Here's your homework for the week.
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  I want you to journal a prompt.
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  Write down which of the seven signs you see in yourself today.
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  Celebrate where you've grown. You have to celebrate the small wins.
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  I remember in my quiet moments how hard I was on myself.
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  I don't want you to do that. Don't be hard on yourself.
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  Celebrate when you're winning, even if it's small. Next, I want you to do a reflection question.
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  Which areas still feel tender or unsteady?
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  Ask God to show you where he wants to continue healing your heart.
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  Keep God at the forefront of this process.
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  You need him. He's number one. All right, sis.
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  So reflect with him, with God, on where he wants to continue to heal your heart.
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  And once you do that, then I want you to take one practical step.
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  Choose one behavior to intentionally practice in your current relationship or
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  future dating life. Or dating life. You could be dating right now.
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  Whether it's speaking up, receiving kindness, or pacing the connection. Practice it on purpose.
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  It says, healing isn't perfect, and it's not instant.
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  But it is real. It is possible. And God will complete the work he has started
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  in you. You are not the woman you used to be, and today proved that.
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  If this episode blessed you, share it with another sister who's on her healing journey.
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  And don't forget, leave a review.
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  It helps this message reach more women who need it. I love you, sis.
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  God loves you more, and you are worthy of a love that reflects Him.
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  Thank you for tuning in to Girl Date the Good Guy. Until next time,
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  keep your heart soft, your standards high, and your faith even higher.