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The Buller-Podington Compact · Classic Humorous Short Stories from America

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Speaker 1: Story twelve of the Best American Humor short Stories by
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Speaker 1: Alexander Jessop editor. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain.
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Speaker 1: Story twelve The Buller Poddington Compact eighteen ninety seven by
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Speaker 1: Frank Richard Stockton from Scribner's Magazine, August eighteen ninety seven.
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Speaker 1: Republished in A Field and Afloat by Frank Richard Stockton,
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Speaker 1: copyright nineteen hundred by Charles Scribner's Sons. Reprinted by permission
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Speaker 1: of the publishers. I tell you, William, said Thomas Buller
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Speaker 1: to his friend mister Poddington. I am truly sorry about it,
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Speaker 1: but I cannot arrange for it this year. Now as
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Speaker 1: to my invitation, that is very different. Of course it
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Speaker 1: is different, was the reply. But I am obliged to
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Speaker 1: say as I said before, that I really cannot accepted.
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Speaker 1: Remarks similar to these had been made by Thomas Buller
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Speaker 1: and William Poddington at least once a year for some
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Speaker 1: five years. They were old friends. They had been schoolboys
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Speaker 1: together and had been associated in business since they were
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Speaker 1: young men. They had now reached a vigorous middle age.
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Speaker 1: They were each married, and each had a house in
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Speaker 1: the country in which he resided for a part of
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Speaker 1: the year. They were warmly attached to each other, and
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Speaker 1: each was the best friend which the other had in
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Speaker 1: this world. But during all these years neither of them
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Speaker 1: had visited the other in his country home. The reason
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Speaker 1: for this avoidance of each other at their respective rural
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Speaker 1: residences may be briefly stated. Mister Buller's country house was
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Speaker 1: situated by the sea, and he was very fond of
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Speaker 1: the water. He had a good cat boat, which he
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Speaker 1: sailed himself with much judgment and skill, and it was
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Speaker 1: his greatest pleasure to take his friends and visitors upon
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Speaker 1: little excursions on the bay. But mister Poddington was desperately
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Speaker 1: afraid of the water, and he was particularly afraid of
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Speaker 1: any craft sailed by an amateur. If his friend Buller
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Speaker 1: would have employed a professional mariner of years and experience
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Speaker 1: to steer and manage his boat, Poddington might have been
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Speaker 1: willing to take an occasional sail. But as Buller always
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Speaker 1: insisted upon sailing his own boat, and took it ill
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Speaker 1: if any of his visitors doubted his ability to do
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Speaker 1: so properly, Poddington did not wish to wound the self
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Speaker 1: love of his friend and he did not wish to
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Speaker 1: be drowned. Consequently, he could not bring himself to consent
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Speaker 1: to go to Buller's house by the sea. To receive
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Speaker 1: his good friend Buller at his own house in the
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Speaker 1: beautiful Upland region in which he lived would have been
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Speaker 1: a great joy to mister Poddington, but Buller could not
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Speaker 1: be induced to visit him. Poddington was very fond of
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Speaker 1: horses and always drove himself, while Buller was more afraid
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Speaker 1: of horses than he was of elephants or lions. To
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Speaker 1: one or more horses driven by a coachman of years
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Speaker 1: and experience, he did not always object. But to a
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Speaker 1: horse driven by Poddington, who had much experience and knowledge
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Speaker 1: regarding mercantile affairs, but was merely an amateur horseman, he
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Speaker 1: most decidedly and strongly objected. He did not wish to
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Speaker 1: hurt his friend's feelings by refusing to go out to
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Speaker 1: drive with him, but he would not rack his own
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Speaker 1: nervous system by accompanying him. Therefore, it was that he
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Speaker 1: had not yet visited the beautiful Upland country residence of
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Speaker 1: mister Poddington. At last, the state of things grew awkward.
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Speaker 1: Missus Buller and Missus Poddington, often with their families, visited
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Speaker 1: each other at their country houses, but the fact that
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Speaker 1: on these occasions they were never accompanied by their husbands
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Speaker 1: caused more and more gossip among their neighbors, both in
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Speaker 1: the upland country and by the sea. One day in spring,
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Speaker 1: as the two sat in their city office, where mister
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Speaker 1: Poddington had just repeated his annual invitation, his friend replied
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Speaker 1: to him, thus, William, if I come to see you
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Speaker 1: this summer, will you visit me. The thing is beginning
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Speaker 1: to look a little ridiculous at people are talking about it.
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Speaker 1: Mister Poddington put his hand to his brow and for
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Speaker 1: a few moments closed his eyes. In his mind he
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Speaker 1: saw a cat boat upon its side, the sails spread
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Speaker 1: out over the water, and two men almost entirely immersed
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Speaker 1: in the waves, making efforts to reach the side of
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Speaker 1: the boat. One of these was getting on very well.
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Speaker 1: That was Bold. The other seemed about to sink. His
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Speaker 1: arms were uselessly waving in the air. That was himself.
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Speaker 1: But he opened his eyes and looked bravely out of
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Speaker 1: the window. It was time to conquer all this. It
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Speaker 1: was indeed growing ridiculous. Buller had been sailing many years
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Speaker 1: and had never been upset. Yes, said he, I will
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Speaker 1: do it. I am ready any time you name. Mister
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Speaker 1: Buller rose and stretched out his hand. Good, said he
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Speaker 1: it's a compact. Buller was the first to make the
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Speaker 1: promised country visit. He had not mentioned the subject of
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Speaker 1: horses to his friend, but he knew through Missus Buller
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Speaker 1: that Pottington still continued to be his own driver. She
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Speaker 1: had informed him, however, that at present he was accustomed
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Speaker 1: to drive a big black horse, which, in her opinion,
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Speaker 1: was as gentle and reliable as these animals ever became,
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Speaker 1: and she could not imagine how anybody could be afraid
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Speaker 1: of him. So when the next morning after his arrival,
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Speaker 1: mister Buller was asked by his host if he would
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Speaker 1: like to take a drive, he suppressed a certain rising
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Speaker 1: emotion and said that it would please him very much.
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Speaker 1: When the good black horse had jogged along a pleasant
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Speaker 1: road for half an hour, mister Buller began to feel
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Speaker 1: that perhaps for all these years he had been laboring
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Speaker 1: under a misconception, it seemed to be possible that there
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Speaker 1: were some horses to which surrounding circumstances in the shape
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Speaker 1: of sights and sounds were so irrelevant that they were
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Speaker 1: to a certain degree entirely safe, even when guided and
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Speaker 1: controlled by an amateur hand. As they passed some meadow land,
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Speaker 1: somebody behind a hedge fired a gun. Mister Buller was frightened,
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Speaker 1: but the horse was not. William said Buller, looking cheerfully
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Speaker 1: around him. I had no idea that you lived in
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Speaker 1: such a pretty country. In fact, I might almost call
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Speaker 1: it beautiful. You have not any wide stretch of water
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Speaker 1: such as I like so much, but here is a
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Speaker 1: pretty river, Those rolling hills are very charming, and beyond
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Speaker 1: you have the blue of the mountains. It is lovely,
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Speaker 1: said his friend. I never get tired of driving through
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Speaker 1: this country. Of course, the seaside is very fine, but
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Speaker 1: here we have such a variety of scenery. Mister Buller
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Speaker 1: could not help thinking that sometimes the seaside was a
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Speaker 1: little monotonous, and that he had lost a great deal
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Speaker 1: of pleasure by not varying his summers by going up
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Speaker 1: to spend a week or two with Poddington. William said
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Speaker 1: he how long have you had this horse? About two years,
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Speaker 1: said mister Poddington, before I got him. I used to
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Speaker 1: drive a pair heavens, thought Buller, how lucky I was
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Speaker 1: not to come two years ago, and his regrets for
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Speaker 1: not sooner visiting his friend greatly decreased now as they
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Speaker 1: came to a place where the stream by which the
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Speaker 1: road ran had been dammed for a mill and had
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Speaker 1: widened into a beautiful pond. There now, cried mister Buller,
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Speaker 1: that's what I like, William. You seem to have everything.
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Speaker 1: This is really a very pretty sheet of water, and
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Speaker 1: the reflections of the trees over there make a charming picture.
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Speaker 1: You can't get that at the sea side, you know.
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Speaker 1: Mister Poddington was delighted. His face glowed. He was rejoiced
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Speaker 1: at the pleasure of his friend. I tell you, Thomas
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Speaker 1: said he that Willium, exclaimed Buller, with a sudden squirm
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Speaker 1: in his seat. What is that I hear? Is that
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Speaker 1: a train er, Yes, said mister Poddington. That is the
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Speaker 1: ten forty up. Does it come near here, asked mister
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Speaker 1: Buller nervously. Does it go over that bridge, yes, said Poddington.
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Speaker 1: But it can't hurt us. For our road goes under
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Speaker 1: the bridge. We are perfectly safe. There's no risk of accident.
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Speaker 1: But your horse, your horse, exclaimed Buller. As the train
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Speaker 1: came nearer and nearer. What will he do do, said Poddington.
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Speaker 1: He'll do what he is doing now. He doesn't mind trains.
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Speaker 1: But look here, William, exclaimed Buller. It will get there
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Speaker 1: just as we do. No horse could stand a roaring
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Speaker 1: up in the air like that, Poddington laughed. He would
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Speaker 1: not mind it in the least, said he. Come, come now,
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Speaker 1: cried Buller. Really I I can't stand this. Just stop
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Speaker 1: a minute, Willium, and let me get out. It sets
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Speaker 1: all my nerves quivering. Mister Poddington smiled with a superior smile.
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Speaker 1: Oh you needn't get out, said he. There's not the
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Speaker 1: least danger in the world. But I don't want to
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Speaker 1: make you nervous, and I will turn around and drive
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Speaker 1: the other way. But you can't, screamed Buller. This road
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Speaker 1: is not wide enough and that train is nearly here.
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Speaker 1: Please stop. The imputation that the road was not wide
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Speaker 1: enough for him to turn was too much for mister
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Speaker 1: Poddington to bear. He was very proud of his ability
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Speaker 1: to turn a vehicle in a narrow place turn, said he.
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Speaker 1: That's the easiest thing in the world. See a little
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Speaker 1: to the right, then a back, then a sweep to
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Speaker 1: the left, and we will be going the other way.
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Speaker 1: And instantly he began the maneuver in which he was
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Speaker 1: such an adept. Oh Thomas, cried Buller, half rising in
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Speaker 1: his seat. The train is almost here, and we are
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Speaker 1: almost Mister Poddington was about to say, turned around, but
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Speaker 1: he stopped. Mister Buller's exclamations had made him a little nervous,
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Speaker 1: and in his anxiety to turn quickly, he had pulled
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Speaker 1: upon his horse's bit with more energy than was actually necessary,
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Speaker 1: and his nervousness being communicated to the horse, that animal
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Speaker 1: backed with such extraordinary vigor that the hind wheels of
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Speaker 1: the wagon went over a bit of grass by the
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Speaker 1: road and into the water. The sudden jolt gave a
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Speaker 1: new impetus to mister Buller's fears. You'll upset, he cried,
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Speaker 1: and not thinking of what he was about, he laid
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Speaker 1: hold of his friend's arm. The horse, startled by this
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Speaker 1: sudden jerk upon his bit, which combined with the thundering
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Speaker 1: of the train, which was now on the bridge, made
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Speaker 1: him think that something extraordinary was about to happen, gave
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Speaker 1: a sudden and forcible start backward, so that not only
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Speaker 1: the hind wheels of the light wagon, but the fore
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Speaker 1: wheels and his own hind legs went into the water.
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Speaker 1: As the bank at this spot sloped steeply, the wagon
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Speaker 1: continued to go backward, despite the efforts of the agitated
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Speaker 1: horse to find a footing on the crumbling edge of
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Speaker 1: the bank. Whoa cried mister Buller, Get up, exclaimed mister Poddington,
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Speaker 1: applying his whip upon the plunging beast. But exclamations and
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Speaker 1: castigations had no effect upon the horse. The original bed
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Speaker 1: of the stream ran close to the road, and the
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Speaker 1: bank was so steep and the earth so soft, that
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Speaker 1: it was impossible for the horse to advance or even
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Speaker 1: maintain his footing. Back back he went until the whole
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Speaker 1: equipage was in the water and the wagon was afloat.
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Speaker 1: This vehicle was a road wagon without a top, and
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Speaker 1: the joints of its box body were tight enough to
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Speaker 1: prevent the water from immediately entering it, so somewhat deeply
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Speaker 1: sunken it rested upon. The water was a current in
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Speaker 1: this part of the pond, and it turned the wagon
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Speaker 1: down stream. The horse was now entirely immersed in the
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Speaker 1: water with the exception of his head and the upper
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Speaker 1: part of his neck, and unable to reach the bottom
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Speaker 1: with his feet. He made vigorous efforts to swim. Mister Poddington,
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Speaker 1: the reins and whip in his hands, sat horrified and pale.
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Speaker 1: The accident was so sudden. He was so startled and
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Speaker 1: so frightened that for a moment he could not speak
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Speaker 1: a word. Mister Buller, on the other hand, was now
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Speaker 1: lively and alert. The wagon had no sooner floated away
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Speaker 1: from the shore than he felt himself at home. He
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Speaker 1: was upon his favorite element, Water had no fears for him.
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Speaker 1: He saw that his friend was nearly frightened out of
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Speaker 1: his wits, and that figuratively speaking, he must step to
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Speaker 1: the helm and take charge of the vessel. He stood
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Speaker 1: up and gazed about him. Put her across stream, he shouted,
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Speaker 1: she can't make headway against this current. Head her up
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Speaker 1: that comp of trees on the other side. The bank
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Speaker 1: is lower there, and we can beat her move a
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Speaker 1: little the other way. We must trim boat now, then
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Speaker 1: pull on your starboard rein. Poddington obeyed, and the horse
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Speaker 1: slightly changed his direction. You see said Buller. It won't
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Speaker 1: do to sail straight across, because the current would carry
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Speaker 1: us down and land us below that spot. Mister Poddington
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Speaker 1: said not a word. He expected every moment to see
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Speaker 1: the horse sink into a watery grave. It isn't so
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Speaker 1: bad after all, is it, Poddington. If we had a
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Speaker 1: rudder and a bit of a sail, it would be
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Speaker 1: a great help to the horse. This wagon is not
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Speaker 1: a bad boat. The despairing Poddington looked at his feet.
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Speaker 1: It's coming in, he said, in a husky voy Thomas,
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Speaker 1: the water is over my shoes. That is so, said Buller.
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Speaker 1: I am so used to water, I didn't notice it.
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Speaker 1: She leaks. Do you carry anything to bail her out?
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Speaker 1: With bail? Cried Poddington, now finding his voice. Oh, Thomas,
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Speaker 1: we are sinking. Oh that's so, said Buller. She leaks
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Speaker 1: like a seve. The weight of the running gear and
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Speaker 1: of the two men was entirely too much for the
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Speaker 1: buoyancy of the wagon body. The water rapidly rose toward
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Speaker 1: the top of its sides. We are going to drown,
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Speaker 1: cried Poddington, suddenly rising. Lick em lick em, exclaimed Buller.
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Speaker 1: Make him swim faster. There is nothing to lick, cried Poddington,
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Speaker 1: vainly lashing at the water, for he could not reach
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Speaker 1: the horse's head. The poor man was dreadfully frightened. He
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Speaker 1: had never even imagined it possible that he should be
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Speaker 1: drowned in his own wagon. Whoop, cried Buller. As the
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Speaker 1: water rose over the sides. Steady yourself, oh boy, or
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Speaker 1: you'll go overboard. And the next moment the wagon body
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Speaker 1: sunk out of sight, but it did not go down
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Speaker 1: very far. The deepest part of the channel of the
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Speaker 1: stream had been passed, and with a bump, the wheels
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Speaker 1: struck the bottom. Heavens, exclaimed Buller. We are aground, aground,
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Speaker 1: exclaimed Poddington. Heaven be praised. As the two men stood
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Speaker 1: up in the submerged wagon, the water was above their knees,
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Speaker 1: and when Poddington looked out over the surface of the pond,
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Speaker 1: now so near his face, it seemed like a sheet
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Speaker 1: of water he had never seen before. It was something horrible,
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Speaker 1: threatening to rise and envelop him. He trembled so that
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Speaker 1: he could scarcely keep his footing. William said his companion,
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Speaker 1: you must sit down. If you don't, you'll tumble overboard
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Speaker 1: and be drowned. There is nothing for you to hold too.
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Speaker 1: Sit down, said Poddington, gazing blankly at the water around him.
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Speaker 1: I can't do that. At this moment, the horse made
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Speaker 1: a slight movement, having touched bottom. After his efforts in
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Speaker 1: swimming across the main bed of the stream with a
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Speaker 1: floating wagon in tow, he had stood for a few moments,
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Speaker 1: his head and neck well above water and his back
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Speaker 1: barely visible beneath the surface. Having recovered his breath, he
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Speaker 1: now thought it was time to move on. At the
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Speaker 1: first step of the horse, mister Poddington began to totter Instinctively.
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Speaker 1: He clutched Buller. Sit down, cried the latter, or you'll
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Speaker 1: have us both overboard. There was no help for it. Down,
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Speaker 1: sat mister Poddington, and as with a great splash, he
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Speaker 1: came heavily upon the seat. The water rose to his waist.
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Speaker 1: Ah said he tom shout for help. No use doing that,
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Speaker 1: replied Buller, still standing on his nautical legs. I don't
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Speaker 1: see anybody, and I don't see any boat. We'll get
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Speaker 1: out all right. Just you stick tight to the thwart
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Speaker 1: the what, feebly asked the other oh the seat. I
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Speaker 1: mean we can get to the shore all right if
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Speaker 1: you steer the horse straight, head him more across the pond.
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Speaker 1: I can't head him, cried Poddington. I have dropped the reins.
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Speaker 1: Good gracious, cried mister Buller. That's bad. Can't you steer
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Speaker 1: him by shouting gee and haw? No? Said Poddington. He
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Speaker 1: isn't an ox, but perhaps I can stop him. And,
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Speaker 1: with as much voice as he could summon, he called
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Speaker 1: out whoa, and the horse stopped. If you can't steer
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Speaker 1: him any other way, said Buller, we must get the reins.
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Speaker 1: Lend me your whip. I have dropped that too, said Poddington.
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Speaker 1: There it floats, Oh dear, said Buller. I guess I'll
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Speaker 1: have to die for them. If he were to run away,
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Speaker 1: we should be in an awful fix. Don't get out,
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Speaker 1: don't get out, exclaimed Poddington. You can reach over the dashboard,
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Speaker 1: as that's under water, said Buller. It will be the
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Speaker 1: same thing as diving, but it's got to be done,
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Speaker 1: and I'll try it. Don't you move now. I am
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Speaker 1: more used to water than you are. Mister Buller took
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Speaker 1: off his hat and asked his friend to hold it.
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Speaker 1: He thought of his watch and other contents of his pockets,
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Speaker 1: but there was no place to put them, so he
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Speaker 1: gave them no more consideration. Then, bravely, getting on his
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Speaker 1: knees in the water, he leaned over the dashboard, almost
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Speaker 1: disappearing from sight. With his disengaged hand, mister Poddington grasped
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Speaker 1: the submerged coat tails of his friend. In a few seconds,
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Speaker 1: the upper part of mister Buller rose from the He
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Speaker 1: was dripping and puffing, and mister Poddington could not but
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Speaker 1: think what a difference it made in the appearance of
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Speaker 1: his friend to have his hair plastered close to his head.
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Speaker 1: I got hold of one of them, said the sputtering Buller,
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Speaker 1: but it was fast to something and I couldn't get
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Speaker 1: it loose. Was it thick and wide, asked Poddington, Yes,
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Speaker 1: was the answer. It did seem so. Oh that was
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Speaker 1: a trace, said Poddington. I don't want that. The rains
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Speaker 1: are thinner and lighter now I remember they are, said Buller.
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Speaker 1: I'll go down again again. Mister Buller leaned over the dashboard,
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Speaker 1: and this time he remained down longer, and when he
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Speaker 1: came up he puffed and sputtered more than before. Is
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Speaker 1: this it, said, he holding up a strip of wet leather. Yes,
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Speaker 1: said Poddington, you've got the rains, Well take them and steer.
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Speaker 1: I would have found them so sooner if his tail
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Speaker 1: had not got into my eyes. That long tail's floating
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Speaker 1: down there and spreading itself out like a fan. It
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Speaker 1: tangled itself all around my head. It would have been
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Speaker 1: much easier if he had been a bobtailed horse. Now, then,
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Speaker 1: said Poddington, take your hat, Thomas, and I'll try to drive.
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Speaker 1: Mister Buller put on his hat, which was the only
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Speaker 1: dry thing about him, and the nervous Poddington started the
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Speaker 1: horse so suddenly that even the sea legs of Buller
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Speaker 1: were surprised, and he came very near going backward into
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Speaker 1: the water, But recovering himself, he sat down. I don't
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Speaker 1: wonder you did not like to do this, William said,
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Speaker 1: He wet as I am. It's ghastly. Encouraged by his
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Speaker 1: master's voice and by the feeling of the familiar hand
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Speaker 1: upon his pit, the horse moved bravely on, but the
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Speaker 1: bottom was very rough and uneven. Sometimes the wheels struck
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Speaker 1: a large stone, terrifying mister Buller, who thought they were
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Speaker 1: going to upset, and sometimes they sank into soft mud,
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Speaker 1: horrifying mister Poddington, who thought they were going to drown.
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Speaker 1: Thus proceeding, they presented a strange sight. At first, mister
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Speaker 1: Poddington held his hands above the water as he drove,
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Speaker 1: but he soon found this awkward and dropped them to
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Speaker 1: their usual position, so that nothing was visible above the
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Speaker 1: water but the head and neck of a horse and
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Speaker 1: the heads and shoulders of two men. Now the submarine
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Speaker 1: equipage came to a low place in the bottom, and
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Speaker 1: even mister Buller shuddered as the water rose to his chin.
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Speaker 1: Poddington gave a howl of horror, and the horse, with
22:48
Speaker 1: high uplifted head, was obliged to swim. At this moment,
22:53
Speaker 1: a boy with a gun came strolling along the road, and,
22:56
Speaker 1: hearing mister Poddington's cry, he cast his eyes over the water. Instinctively,
23:02
Speaker 1: he raised his weapon to his shoulder, and then, in
23:05
Speaker 1: an instant, perceiving that the objects he beheld were not
23:09
Speaker 1: aquatic birds, he dropped his gun and ran yelling down
23:14
Speaker 1: the road toward the mill. But the hollow in the
23:17
Speaker 1: bottom was a narrow one, and when it was past
23:21
Speaker 1: the depth of the water gradually decreased. The back of
23:24
Speaker 1: the horse came into view, the dashboard became visible, and
23:28
Speaker 1: the bodies and the spirits of the two men rapidly rose.
23:33
Speaker 1: Now there was a vigorous splashing and tugging, and then
23:36
Speaker 1: a jet black horse, shining as if he had been
23:39
Speaker 1: newly varnished, pulled a dripping wagon containing two well soaked
23:44
Speaker 1: men upon a shelving shore. Oh I'm chilled to the bones,
23:49
Speaker 1: cried Poddington. I should think so, replied his friend. If
23:54
Speaker 1: you have got to be wet, it is a great deal,
23:56
Speaker 1: pleasanter under the water. There was a field road on
24:01
Speaker 1: this side of the pond, which Poddington well knew, and
24:04
Speaker 1: proceeding along this way, they came to the bridge and
24:07
Speaker 1: got into the main road. Now we must get home
24:11
Speaker 1: as fast as we can, cried Poddington, or we shall
24:14
Speaker 1: both take cold. I wish I hadn't lost my whip high.
24:18
Speaker 1: Now get along. Poddington was now full of life and energy.
24:23
Speaker 1: His wheels were on the hard road, and he was
24:26
Speaker 1: himself again. When he found his head was turned toward
24:30
Speaker 1: his home. The horse set off at a great rate. Hi, there,
24:34
Speaker 1: cried Poddington. I'm so sorry I lost my whip. Whip,
24:39
Speaker 1: said Buller, holding fast to the side of the sea.
24:42
Speaker 1: Surely you don't want him to go any faster than this.
24:45
Speaker 1: And look here, William, he added, it seems to me
24:48
Speaker 1: we are much more likely to take cold in our
24:50
Speaker 1: wet clothes if we rushed through the air in this way. Really,
24:54
Speaker 1: it seems to me that horse is running away. Oh
24:58
Speaker 1: not a bit of it, cried Podding. And he wants
25:00
Speaker 1: to get home, and he wants his dinner. Isn't he
25:04
Speaker 1: a fine horse? Look how he steps out, steps out,
25:09
Speaker 1: said Buller. I think I'd like to step out myself.
25:12
Speaker 1: Don't you think it would be wiser for me to
25:14
Speaker 1: walk home? William? That will warm me up. It will
25:18
Speaker 1: take you an hour, said his friend. Stay where you
25:21
Speaker 1: are and I'll have you in a dry suit of
25:23
Speaker 1: clothes in less than fifteen minutes. I tell you, William,
25:28
Speaker 1: said mister Buller, as the two sat smoking after dinner.
25:31
Speaker 1: What you ought to do? You should never go out
25:34
Speaker 1: driving without a life preserver and a pair of oars.
25:38
Speaker 1: I always take them. It would make you feel safer.
25:42
Speaker 1: Mister Buller went home the next day because mister Poddington's
25:46
Speaker 1: clothes did not fit him, and his own outdoor suit
25:49
Speaker 1: was so shrunken as to be uncomfortable. Besides, there was
25:54
Speaker 1: another reason connected with the desire of horses to reach
25:58
Speaker 1: their homes, which prompted his return. But he had not
26:02
Speaker 1: forgotten his compact with his friend, and in the course
26:06
Speaker 1: of a week he wrote to Poddington inviting him to
26:09
Speaker 1: spend some days with him. Mister Poddington was a man
26:12
Speaker 1: of honor, and in spite of his recent unfortunate water experience,
26:17
Speaker 1: he would not break his word. He went to mister
26:20
Speaker 1: Buller's seaside home at the time appointed. Early on the
26:25
Speaker 1: morning after his arrival, before the family were up, mister
26:29
Speaker 1: Poddington went out and strolled down to the edge of
26:31
Speaker 1: the bay. He went to look at Buller's boat. He
26:35
Speaker 1: was well aware that he would be asked to take
26:38
Speaker 1: a sail, and as Buller had driven with him, it
26:41
Speaker 1: would be impossible for him to decline sailing with Buller.
26:45
Speaker 1: But he must see the boat. There was a train
26:49
Speaker 1: for his home at a quarter past seven. If he
26:52
Speaker 1: were not on the premises, he could not be asked
26:54
Speaker 1: to sail. If Buller's boat were a little flimsy thing.
26:59
Speaker 1: He would take them, but he would wait and see.
27:03
Speaker 1: There was only one small boat anchored near the beach,
27:07
Speaker 1: and a man, apparently a fisherman, informed mister Poddington that
27:11
Speaker 1: it belonged to mister Buller. Poddington looked at it eagerly.
27:16
Speaker 1: It was not very small and not flimsy. Do you
27:20
Speaker 1: consider that a safe boat? He asked the fisherman, save
27:24
Speaker 1: replied the man, You could not upset her if you
27:27
Speaker 1: tried look at her breadth of beam, You could go
27:30
Speaker 1: anywhere in that boat. Are you thinking of buying her?
27:35
Speaker 1: The idea that he would think of buying a boat
27:37
Speaker 1: made mister Poddington laugh. The information that it would be
27:41
Speaker 1: impossible to upset the little vessel had greatly cheered him,
27:45
Speaker 1: and he could laugh. Shortly after breakfast, mister Buller, like
27:50
Speaker 1: a nurse with a dose of medicine, came to mister
27:53
Speaker 1: Poddington with the expected invitation to take a sail. Now,
27:58
Speaker 1: William said his host, I understand perfectly your feeling about boats,
28:03
Speaker 1: and what I wish to prove to you is that
28:05
Speaker 1: it is a feeling without any foundation. I don't want
28:09
Speaker 1: to shock you or make you nervous, so I am
28:12
Speaker 1: not going to take you out to day on the
28:14
Speaker 1: bay in my boat. You are as safe on the
28:17
Speaker 1: bay as you would be on land, a little safer
28:20
Speaker 1: perhaps under certain circumstances to which we will not allude.
28:25
Speaker 1: But still it is sometimes a little rough, and this
28:29
Speaker 1: at first might cause you some uneasiness. And so I
28:33
Speaker 1: am going to let you begin your education in the
28:35
Speaker 1: sailing line on perfectly smooth water. About three miles back
28:40
Speaker 1: of us, there is a very pretty lake several miles long.
28:44
Speaker 1: It is part of the canal system which connects the
28:47
Speaker 1: town with the railroad. I have sent my boat to
28:50
Speaker 1: the town and we can walk up there and go
28:53
Speaker 1: by the canal to the lake. It is only about
28:56
Speaker 1: three miles if he had to sail at all. This
29:00
Speaker 1: kind of sailing suited mister Poddington. A canal, a quiet lake,
29:04
Speaker 1: and a boat which could not be upset. When they
29:07
Speaker 1: reached the town, the boat was in the canal ready
29:10
Speaker 1: for them. Now, said mister Buller, you get in and
29:14
Speaker 1: make yourself comfortable. My idea is to hitch on to
29:18
Speaker 1: a canal boat and be towed to the lake. The
29:21
Speaker 1: boats generally start about this time in the morning, and
29:24
Speaker 1: I will go and see about it. Mister Poddington, under
29:28
Speaker 1: the direction of his friend, took a seat in the
29:31
Speaker 1: stern of the sail boat, and then he remarked, Thomas,
29:35
Speaker 1: have you a life preserver on board? You know I
29:38
Speaker 1: am not used to any kind of vessel, and I
29:41
Speaker 1: am clumsy. Nothing might happen to the boat, but I
29:45
Speaker 1: might trip and fall overboard, and I can't swim. All right,
29:49
Speaker 1: said Buller, here's a life preserver and you can put
29:53
Speaker 1: it on. I want you to feel perfectly safe. Now
29:57
Speaker 1: I will go and see about the tow. But mister
30:00
Speaker 1: Buller found that the canal boats would not start at
30:03
Speaker 1: their usual time. The loading of one of them was
30:06
Speaker 1: not finished, and he was informed that he might have
30:09
Speaker 1: to wait for an hour or more. This did not
30:13
Speaker 1: suit mister Buller at all, and he did not hesitate
30:16
Speaker 1: to show his annoyance. I tell you, sir, what you
30:19
Speaker 1: can do, said one of the men in charge of
30:21
Speaker 1: the boats. If you don't want to wait till we
30:24
Speaker 1: are ready to start, we'll let you have a boy
30:27
Speaker 1: and a horse to tow you up to the lake.
30:29
Speaker 1: That won't cost you much, and they'll be back before
30:31
Speaker 1: we want em. The bargain was made and mister Buller
30:35
Speaker 1: joyfully returned to his boat with the intelligence that they
30:39
Speaker 1: were not to wait for the canal boats. A long
30:42
Speaker 1: rope with a horse attached to the other end of
30:45
Speaker 1: it was speedily made fast to the boat, and with
30:48
Speaker 1: a boy at the head of the horse, they started
30:50
Speaker 1: up the canal. Now this is the kind of sailing
30:54
Speaker 1: I like, said mister Poddington. If I lived near a canal,
30:58
Speaker 1: I believe I would buy a boat and rein my
31:00
Speaker 1: horse to tow. I could have a long pair of
31:03
Speaker 1: rope lines and drive him myself. Then, when the roads
31:07
Speaker 1: were rough and bad, the canal would be always smooth.
31:11
Speaker 1: This is all very nice, replied mister Buller, who sat
31:15
Speaker 1: by the tiller to keep the boat away from the bank.
31:18
Speaker 1: And I am glad to see you in a boat
31:20
Speaker 1: under any circumstances. Do you know, William, that although I
31:24
Speaker 1: did not plan it, there could not have been a
31:27
Speaker 1: better way to begin your sailing education. Here we glide
31:31
Speaker 1: along slowly and gently, with no possible thought of danger.
31:36
Speaker 1: For if the boat should suddenly spring a leak, as
31:39
Speaker 1: if it were the body of a wagon, all we
31:41
Speaker 1: would have to do would be to step on shore
31:44
Speaker 1: and by the time you get to the end of
31:46
Speaker 1: the canal, you will like this gentle motion so much
31:50
Speaker 1: that you will be perfectly ready to begin the second
31:53
Speaker 1: stage of your nautical education. Yes, said mister Poddington. How
32:00
Speaker 1: long do you say this canal is about three miles
32:04
Speaker 1: answered his friend. Then we will go into the loch
32:07
Speaker 1: and in a few moments we shall be on the lake.
32:11
Speaker 1: So far as I am concerned, said mister Poddington, I
32:14
Speaker 1: wish the canal were twelve miles long. I cannot imagine
32:18
Speaker 1: anything pleasanter than this if I lived anywhere near a canal,
32:23
Speaker 1: A long canal. I mean, this one is too short.
32:26
Speaker 1: I'd oh, come, come now, interrupted Buller. Don't be content
32:31
Speaker 1: to stay in the primary school just because it is easy.
32:35
Speaker 1: When we get on the lake, I will show you
32:37
Speaker 1: that in a boat with a gentle breeze, such as
32:40
Speaker 1: we are likely to have to day, you will find
32:43
Speaker 1: the motion quite as pleasing and ever so much more inspiring.
32:48
Speaker 1: I should not be a bit surprised, William, if after
32:51
Speaker 1: you have been two or three times on the lake,
32:54
Speaker 1: you will ask me, yes, positively, ask me to take
32:58
Speaker 1: you out on the bay. Mister Poddington smiled and leaning backward.
33:04
Speaker 1: He looked up at the beautiful blue sky. You can't
33:08
Speaker 1: give me anything better than this, Thomas said he. But
33:11
Speaker 1: you needn't think I am weakening. You drove with me,
33:14
Speaker 1: and I will sail with you. The thought came into
33:18
Speaker 1: Buller's mind that he had done both of these things
33:21
Speaker 1: with Poddington, but he did not wish to call up
33:24
Speaker 1: unpleasant memories and said nothing. About half a mile from
33:29
Speaker 1: the town there stood a small cottage where house cleaning
33:34
Speaker 1: was going on, and on a fence not far from
33:37
Speaker 1: the canal, there hung a carpet, gaily adorned with stripes
33:41
Speaker 1: and spots of red and yellow. When the drowsy tow
33:44
Speaker 1: horse came abreast of the house and the carpet caught
33:48
Speaker 1: his eye, he suddenly stopped and gave a start toward
33:52
Speaker 1: the canal. Then, impressed with a horror of the glaring apparition,
33:58
Speaker 1: he gathered himself up and with a bound dashed along
34:02
Speaker 1: the tow path. The astounded boy gave a shout, but
34:06
Speaker 1: was speedily left behind. The boat of mister Buller shot
34:10
Speaker 1: forward as if she had been struck by a squall.
34:14
Speaker 1: The terrified horse sped on as if a red and
34:17
Speaker 1: yellow demon were after him. The boat bounded and plunged,
34:22
Speaker 1: and frequently struck the grassy bank of the canal, as
34:25
Speaker 1: if it would break itself to pieces. Mister Poddington clutched
34:29
Speaker 1: the boom to keep himself from being thrown out, while
34:33
Speaker 1: mister Buller, both hands upon the tiller frantically endeavored to
34:37
Speaker 1: keep the boat from the bank. William, he screamed, he's
34:41
Speaker 1: running away with us. We shall be dashed to pieces.
34:44
Speaker 1: Can't you get forward and cast off that line? What
34:48
Speaker 1: do you mean? Cried Poddington, as the boom gave a
34:51
Speaker 1: great jerk, as if it would break its fastenings and
34:55
Speaker 1: drag him overboard. I mean, untie, the tow line will
34:59
Speaker 1: be smashed if you don't. I can't leave this tiller.
35:03
Speaker 1: Don't try to stand up, Hold on to the boom
35:06
Speaker 1: and creep forward steady now, or you'll be overboard. Mister
35:11
Speaker 1: Poddington stumbled to the bow of the boat, his efforts
35:14
Speaker 1: greatly impeded by the big cork life preserver tied under
35:19
Speaker 1: his arms, and the motion of the boat was so
35:22
Speaker 1: violent and erratic that he was obliged to hold on
35:25
Speaker 1: to the mast with one arm and to try to
35:28
Speaker 1: loosen the knot with the other, but there was a
35:31
Speaker 1: great strain on the rope, and he could do nothing
35:34
Speaker 1: with one hand. Cut it, cut it, cried mister Buller.
35:38
Speaker 1: I haven't a knife, replied Poddington. Mister Buller was terribly frightened.
35:44
Speaker 1: His boat was cutting through the water as never vessel
35:47
Speaker 1: of her class had sped since sailboats were invented, and
35:52
Speaker 1: bumping along the bank as if she were a billiard
35:55
Speaker 1: ball rebounding from the edge of a table. He forgot
35:58
Speaker 1: he was in a boat. He only knew that for
36:01
Speaker 1: the first time in his life, he was in a runaway.
36:05
Speaker 1: He let go the tiller. It was of no use
36:08
Speaker 1: to him. William, he cried, let us jump out the
36:11
Speaker 1: next time we are near enough to shore. Don't do that.
36:15
Speaker 1: Don't do that, replied Poddington. Don't jump out in a
36:19
Speaker 1: run away. That is the way to get hurt. Stick
36:22
Speaker 1: to your seat, my boy. He can't keep this up
36:24
Speaker 1: much longer. He'll lose his wind. Mister Poddington was greatly excited,
36:30
Speaker 1: but he was not frightened as Buller was. He had
36:34
Speaker 1: been in a runaway before, and he could not help
36:37
Speaker 1: thinking how much better a wagon was than a boat.
36:40
Speaker 1: In such a case, if he were hitched up shorter
36:44
Speaker 1: and I had a snaffle bit and a stout pair
36:46
Speaker 1: of reins, thought he I could soon bring him up.
36:50
Speaker 1: But mister Buller was rapidly losing his wits. The horse
36:54
Speaker 1: seemed to be going faster than ever. The boat bumped
36:58
Speaker 1: harder against the bank, and at one time Buller thought
37:02
Speaker 1: they could turn over. Suddenly a thought struck him, William.
37:07
Speaker 1: He shouted, tip that anchor over the side, throw it
37:10
Speaker 1: in any way. Mister Pontington looked about him, and almost
37:15
Speaker 1: under his feet saw the anchor. He did not instantly
37:19
Speaker 1: comprehend why Buller wanted it thrown overboard, but this was
37:23
Speaker 1: not a time to ask questions. The difficulties imposed by
37:27
Speaker 1: the life preserver and the necessity of holding on with
37:30
Speaker 1: one hand interfered very much with his getting at the
37:34
Speaker 1: anchor and throwing it over the side. But at last
37:37
Speaker 1: he succeeded, and just as the boat threw up her
37:41
Speaker 1: bow as if she were about to jump on shore,
37:44
Speaker 1: the anchor went out and its line shot after it.
37:48
Speaker 1: There was an irregular trembling of the boat as the
37:52
Speaker 1: anchor struggled along the bottom of the canal. Then there
37:55
Speaker 1: was a great shock. The boat ran into the bank
37:59
Speaker 1: and stopped. The toe line was tightened like a guitar string,
38:03
Speaker 1: and the horse jerked back with great violence, came tumbling
38:07
Speaker 1: in a heap upon the ground. Instantly mister Poddington was
38:11
Speaker 1: on the shore and running at the top of his
38:14
Speaker 1: speed toward the horse. The astounded animal had scarcely begun
38:18
Speaker 1: to struggle to his feet when Poddington rushed upon him,
38:22
Speaker 1: pressed his head back to the ground and sat upon it. Hurrah,
38:27
Speaker 1: he cried, waving his hat above his head. Get out, Buller,
38:31
Speaker 1: He is all right now presently, mister Buller approached, very
38:35
Speaker 1: much shaken up. All right, he said, I don't call
38:39
Speaker 1: a horse flat in a road with a man on
38:42
Speaker 1: his head. All right, but hold him down till we
38:45
Speaker 1: get him loose from my boat. That is a thing
38:48
Speaker 1: to do, William, cast him loose from the boat before
38:51
Speaker 1: you let him up. What will he do when he
38:53
Speaker 1: gets up? Oh, he'll be quiet enough when he gets up,
38:57
Speaker 1: said Poddington. But if you've got a knife, you can
39:00
Speaker 1: cut his traces. I mean that rope. But no you needn't.
39:04
Speaker 1: Here comes the boy. We'll settle this business in very
39:07
Speaker 1: short order. Now, when the horse was on his feet
39:11
Speaker 1: and all connection between the animal and the boat had
39:14
Speaker 1: been severed. Mister Poddington looked at his friend Thomas said
39:19
Speaker 1: he you seem to have had a hard time of it.
39:22
Speaker 1: You have lost your hat and you look as if
39:24
Speaker 1: you had been in a wrestling match. I have replied
39:28
Speaker 1: the other I wrestled with that tiller, and I wonder
39:31
Speaker 1: it didn't throw me out. Now approached the boy, Shall
39:36
Speaker 1: I hitch him on again? Sir said he he's quiet
39:39
Speaker 1: enough now. No, cried mister Buller. I want no more
39:43
Speaker 1: sailing after a horse. And besides, we can't go on
39:46
Speaker 1: the lake with that boat. She has been battered about
39:49
Speaker 1: so much that she must have opened a dozen seams.
39:53
Speaker 1: The best thing we can do is to walk home.
39:57
Speaker 1: Mister Poddington agreed with his friend that walking home was
40:00
Speaker 1: the best thing they could do. The boat was examined
40:03
Speaker 1: and found to be leaking, but not very badly, and
40:07
Speaker 1: when her mast had been unshipped and everything had been
40:10
Speaker 1: made tight and right on board, she was pulled out
40:14
Speaker 1: of the way of tow lines and boats and made
40:16
Speaker 1: fast until she could be sent for from the town.
40:20
Speaker 1: Mister Buller and mister Poddington walked back toward the town.
40:24
Speaker 1: They had not gone very far when they met a
40:26
Speaker 1: party of boys, who, upon seeing them, burst into unseemly laughter.
40:32
Speaker 1: Mister cried one of them, you needn't be afraid of
40:35
Speaker 1: tumbling into the canal. Why don't you take off your
40:38
Speaker 1: life preserver and let that other man put it on
40:41
Speaker 1: his head. The two friends looked at each other and
40:45
Speaker 1: could not help joining in the laughter of the boys.
40:49
Speaker 1: By George, I forgot all about this, said Poddington, as
40:53
Speaker 1: he unfastened the cork jacket. It does look a little
40:57
Speaker 1: super timid to wear a life preserver just because one
41:01
Speaker 1: happens to be walking by the side of a canal.
41:04
Speaker 1: Mister Buller tied a handkerchief on his head, and mister
41:07
Speaker 1: Poddington rolled up his life preserver and carried it under
41:11
Speaker 1: his arm. Thus they reached the town, where Buller bought
41:15
Speaker 1: a hat. Poddington dispensed with his bundle, and arrangements were
41:19
Speaker 1: made to bring back the boat run away in a
41:23
Speaker 1: sail boat, exclaimed one of the canal boatmen, when he
41:26
Speaker 1: had heard about the accident. Upon my word, that beats
41:30
Speaker 1: anything that could happen to a man. No, it doesn't,
41:34
Speaker 1: replied mister Buller quietly, I have gone to the bottom
41:37
Speaker 1: in a foundered road wagon. The man looked at him fixedly.
41:42
Speaker 1: Was you ever struck in the mud in a balloon,
41:45
Speaker 1: he asked, Not yet, replied mister Buller. It required ten
41:50
Speaker 1: days to put mister Buller's sailboat into proper condition, and
41:54
Speaker 1: for ten days mister Poddington stayed with his friend and
41:58
Speaker 1: enjoyed his visit very much. They strolled on the beach,
42:02
Speaker 1: they took long walks in the back country. They fished
42:05
Speaker 1: from the end of a pier. They smoked, They talked
42:08
Speaker 1: and were happy and content. Thomas, said mister Poddington on
42:13
Speaker 1: the last evening of his stay. I have enjoyed myself
42:17
Speaker 1: very much since I have been down here. And now, Thomas,
42:21
Speaker 1: if I were to come down again next summer, would
42:25
Speaker 1: you mind er? Would you mind not? I would not
42:32
Speaker 1: mind a bit, replied Buller promptly. I'll never so much
42:35
Speaker 1: as mention it, so you can come along without a
42:38
Speaker 1: thought of it. And since you have alluded to the subject, William,
42:42
Speaker 1: he continued, I'd like very much to come and see
42:46
Speaker 1: you again. You know, my visit was a very short
42:49
Speaker 1: one this year. That is a beautiful country you live in,
42:53
Speaker 1: such a variety of scenery, such an opportunity for walks
42:57
Speaker 1: and rambles. But William, if you could own, only make
43:00
Speaker 1: up your mind not to Oh, that is all right,
43:04
Speaker 1: exclaimed Poddington. I do not need to make up my mind.
43:08
Speaker 1: You come to my house and you will never so
43:10
Speaker 1: much as hear of it. Here's my hand upon it,
43:13
Speaker 1: and here is mine, said mister Buller, and they shook
43:16
Speaker 1: hands over a new compact. End of story twelve.