Latest / PAMOJA PODCAST | PAMOJA MINISTRY, A LIFE OF CHRIST INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES / Conversation 8 – Part III —The Warmth in the House: The Fire That Transforms

Transcript

Conversation 8 – Part III —The Warmth in the House: The Fire That Transforms · PAMOJA PODCAST | PAMOJA MINISTRY, A LIFE OF CHRIST INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES

0:00
Welcome back to Pomoja Podcast, a ministry of
0:04
Life of Christ International Ministries. Pomoja
0:09
means together, and that's exactly what this
0:12
space is about. The place where stronger lives
0:15
are built, faith is strengthened, hearts are
0:19
encouraged, and Christ -centered homes are shaped
0:23
through ordinary conversations. that become extraordinary
0:27
encounters with God's truth. One conversation,
0:31
one story, one revelation at a time. Thank you
0:36
for joining me for another powerful conversation.
0:42
In our last conversation, we walked together
0:44
through the lives of some of the greatest marriages
0:47
recorded in scripture. We looked at Adam and
0:51
Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob
0:55
and Rachel, Elkanah and Hannah, Hosea and Gomer,
0:59
and finally Joseph and Mary. Their stories were
1:03
all different. They lived in different generations.
1:07
They faced different struggles. They carried
1:10
different assignments from God. Yet they all
1:13
had one thing in common. Every one of those marriages
1:17
passed through the fire. And somehow, every one
1:21
of those homes became warm. By the end of our
1:25
conversation, we arrived at a simple but profound
1:28
conclusion. Warmth is not the absence of fire.
1:33
Warmth is the testimony of a fire that has been
1:36
surrendered to God. But that conclusion leaves
1:40
us with another question. In fact, I believe
1:44
it may be the most important question of this
1:46
entire series. Why? Why would a loving father
1:51
allow the fire in the first place? If God is
1:55
all -powerful, couldn't He prevent every misunderstanding?
2:00
Couldn't He remove every disappointment? Couldn't
2:04
He spare us the financial pressures, the waiting
2:07
seasons, the painful conversations, and the difficult
2:12
moments that every marriage eventually faces?
2:16
Of course He could. So why doesn't He, if marriage
2:21
was His idea? Why did he design it in such a
2:24
way that every couple must eventually walk through
2:27
the fire? That question stayed with me for a
2:31
long time. And over the years, I believe the
2:35
Lord has slowly been teaching me something that
2:38
completely changed the way I understand not only
2:40
marriage, but his work in our lives. I came to
2:45
realize that God never wastes the fire. One of
2:50
the greatest misconceptions many of us have is
2:54
believing that God's highest priority is to make
2:57
our lives comfortable. It isn't. God certainly
3:01
cares about us. He delights in blessing his children,
3:05
but comfort has never been his highest goal.
3:09
Transformation is. When you begin reading scripture
3:13
with that understanding, something remarkable
3:16
happens. You start seeing the same pattern over
3:20
and over again. When God called Abraham, his
3:24
ultimate purpose wasn't simply to give him a
3:27
son. God was forming the father of faith. When
3:32
he called Moses, he wasn't only delivering Israel
3:35
from Egypt. He was transforming a shepherd into
3:39
a leader who would carry the presence of God.
3:43
When he chose David, He wasn't merely preparing
3:46
a king for Israel, he was shaping a man after
3:50
his own heart. Throughout the Bible, God consistently
3:55
shows that he is more concerned with who we are
3:59
becoming. than with what we are receiving. The
4:02
same principle applies to marriage. Marriage
4:06
was never designed simply to make us happy. It
4:09
was designed to make us holy. It is one of God's
4:13
greatest instruments for shaping our character,
4:17
maturing our hearts, and teaching us to love
4:20
as Christ loves His Church. Perhaps that is why
4:24
the fire becomes necessary. There are some things
4:28
God simply cannot produce through comfort alone.
4:32
Patience, humility, self -control, forgiveness,
4:36
faithfulness, kindness, long -suffering, grace.
4:41
Those qualities are not developed when everything
4:43
is easy. They are formed when we choose to surrender
4:46
ourselves to God in the middle of difficult seasons.
4:52
Think about Jesus himself. The writer of Hebrews
4:56
tells us that although he was a son, he learned
5:00
obedience through what he suffered. Pause and
5:03
think about that for a moment. If the perfect
5:06
son of God entered the school of suffering, why
5:09
would we expect his followers to graduate without
5:13
ever entering the classroom? The fire is not
5:17
God's way of punishing his children. It is his
5:20
way of preparing them. The fire is not evidence
5:24
that God has abandoned us. Very often it is evidence
5:29
that he is actively working within us. And perhaps
5:34
that is why my father never described the flames
5:37
in his story. He never talked about the smoke.
5:40
He never talked about the struggle of keeping
5:43
the fire alive. He simply said the house was
5:46
warm. Because once the fire has accomplished
5:49
its purpose, What remains is no longer pain.
5:53
What remains is warmth, peace, security, maturity,
5:58
rest. A home where two people have learned not
6:02
merely to live together, but to grow together.
6:08
But this raises another important question. If
6:11
God uses fire to transform us, does that mean
6:15
every fire comes from Him? Or is there a difference
6:19
between the fires the enemy ignites and the fires
6:23
God allows? That distinction is essential because
6:27
the Bible never treats every trial the same way.
6:32
Learning to recognize the difference will change
6:34
the way you understand suffering, conflict, and
6:39
even the difficult seasons in your own marriage.
6:42
And that's exactly where we're going next. There
6:47
is something I've come to appreciate about God.
6:50
Long before he ever spoke about marriage, he
6:53
had already established one of his greatest principles
6:56
in creation itself. If you pay attention to the
6:59
world around you, you'll begin to notice it everywhere.
7:03
Everything that carries great value passes through
7:06
fire. That isn't just true spiritually, it's
7:10
true throughout creation. Think about gold. Gold
7:14
doesn't become valuable because of the fire.
7:16
It was already valuable. The fire simply removes
7:20
everything that doesn't belong. Every impurity
7:24
rises to the surface until only the pure gold
7:27
remains. The greater the purity, the clearer
7:31
the reflection. The fire doesn't create the gold,
7:35
it reveals it. The same is true of clay. A potter
7:40
may carefully shape a beautiful vessel with his
7:43
own hands, but before it enters the furnace,
7:46
It remains fragile. It can easily collapse. It
7:50
can easily be broken. It cannot yet fulfill the
7:53
purpose for which it was created. Only after
7:56
passing through the fire does it become strong
7:59
enough to carry what the potter intended it to
8:02
carry. Even bread follows the same pattern. Before
8:06
it enters the oven, everything is already there.
8:08
The flour, the water, the yeast, the oil, every
8:12
ingredient is present. But no one can be nourished
8:15
until the dough passes through the heat. The
8:18
oven doesn't ruin the bread, it completes it.
8:20
And then there is steel. Steel is heated, folded,
8:24
hammered, and refined over and over again. Not
8:27
because the blacksmith despises the metal, but
8:30
because he sees something the raw steel cannot
8:33
yet become on its own. He sees a bridge, a foundation,
8:38
a tool, something strong enough to carry tremendous
8:41
weight. The strength was always possible. The
8:45
fire made it visible. Now let me ask you a question.
8:49
If God has woven this principle into everything
8:52
He created, why would marriage be any different?
8:56
Why would we expect the most sacred covenant
8:59
between two people to become strong without passing
9:03
through the very process that strengthens everything
9:07
else God has made? I think that's where many
9:10
of our disappointments begin. We expect commitment
9:13
without being tested, unity without sacrifice,
9:18
intimacy without vulnerability, patience without
9:21
waiting, strength without resistance. Yet throughout
9:26
the Bible, God has never worked that way. When
9:29
I began reading the scripture with that perspective,
9:33
I realized this pattern was there all along.
9:37
Abraham's faith passed through the fire of waiting.
9:41
Joseph's character passed through the fire of
9:44
betrayal. Moses' leadership passed through the
9:48
fire of the wilderness. David's calling passed
9:51
through the fire of rejection. Peter's courage
9:54
passed through the fire of failure. Even our
9:58
Lord Jesus Christ entered the fire of suffering
10:00
before the glory of the resurrection. That is
10:03
not a coincidence. It is God's pattern. He is
10:07
not only interested in where He is taking us,
10:10
He is deeply interested in who we become on the
10:14
journey. And perhaps that's why my father's story
10:17
never focused on the flames. He never described
10:21
how difficult it was to keep the fire burning.
10:25
He never spoke about the smoke or the exhaustion.
10:29
He simply said, the house was warm. Now I understand
10:33
why. The warmth was never accidental. It was
10:37
the evidence that someone had endured the process.
10:42
Someone had refused to walk away when things
10:45
became difficult. Someone had chosen covenant
10:48
over convenience. The warmth wasn't the miracle.
10:52
The transformed husband was. The transformed
10:56
wife was. The transformed marriage was. That
11:00
was the miracle. But before we go any further,
11:04
There is another truth we must understand. Not
11:07
every fire serves the same purpose. Some fires
11:11
consume, others purify. Some are ignited by the
11:15
enemy, others are allowed by God. From the outside
11:20
they can look remarkably similar, but their purpose
11:24
could not be more different. And learning to
11:27
discern the difference may completely change
11:30
the way you understand every trial that enters
11:32
your home. There is something else we must understand.
11:38
Not every fire has the same source. Not every
11:42
trial has the same purpose. And not every difficult
11:45
season should be interpreted the same way. From
11:48
the outside, two fires may look identical. Both
11:53
produce heat. Both bring pressure. Both can leave
11:57
us exhausted. Both can bring us to our knees.
12:01
Yet one fire is designed to destroy. The other
12:05
is designed to transform. If we fail to recognize
12:09
the difference, we may spend our lives resisting
12:12
the very work God is trying to accomplish, or
12:15
worse, embracing the very thing the enemy is
12:18
using to destroy us. That is why discernment
12:22
matters. Jesus leaves no confusion about the
12:28
enemy's purpose. In John chapter 10, he says,
12:32
The thief comes only to steal, to kill, and to
12:36
destroy. Notice those three words, steal, kill,
12:41
destroy. There is nothing redemptive about Satan's
12:45
intentions. He never sends a trial to make you
12:48
more like Christ. He never attacks your marriage
12:51
to strengthen it. His purpose is always destruction.
12:55
He looks for cracks in the foundation. A conversation
12:59
that ends unresolved. A disappointment that is
13:04
never processed. An offense that quietly becomes
13:08
bitterness. A prayer that slowly disappears.
13:11
He rarely begins with dramatic destruction. He
13:14
begins with small compromises, small wounds,
13:18
small lies, small distances. Then he patiently
13:22
waits for them to grow. That is how he works.
13:26
His fire feeds pride instead of humility. It
13:29
feeds resentment instead of forgiveness. It feeds
13:32
suspicion instead of trust. It feeds isolation
13:36
instead of unity. His goal is always the same,
13:40
to separate what God has joined together. God's
13:44
fire is completely different. When God allows
13:48
fire, He is never trying to destroy His children.
13:51
He is revealing, refining, and restoring them.
13:55
Peter writes that our faith is more precious
13:59
than gold which perishes though refined by fire.
14:04
James tells us to consider it pure joy whenever
14:08
you face trials of many kinds because the testing
14:11
of your faith produces perseverance. Notice the
14:15
language. Peter doesn't say the fire destroys
14:18
faith. He says it proves it. James doesn't say
14:22
the trial weakens faith. He says it develops
14:25
endurance. God's fire always produces something
14:29
the enemy's fire never can. Greater faith. Deeper
14:33
humility. Stronger character. A heart that trusts
14:37
Him more than before. Then Malachi gives us one
14:41
of the most beautiful pictures in all of scripture.
14:45
He describes God as a refiner of silver. A refiner
14:49
doesn't light the fire and walk away. He sits
14:53
beside it. He watches it carefully. He controls
14:56
the temperature. He knows exactly how much heat
15:00
the silver can endure. And he removes it at precisely
15:03
the right moment. Our Heavenly Father does the
15:07
same. He never abandons his children in the fire.
15:10
He watches, he guides, he strengthens, he comforts,
15:14
he refines. The enemy's fire is reckless. God's
15:18
fire is purposeful. The enemy burns to erase
15:21
the image of God. God burns until the image of
15:25
Christ begins to appear. The same heat, completely
15:29
different purpose. When I look back over my own
15:34
marriage, I realized there were seasons I asked
15:38
God to extinguish the fire. Now I thank Him for
15:42
what He accomplished through it. Not because
15:45
the pain was enjoyable, but because the God who
15:48
met us in the fire refused to let the fire have
15:52
the final word. That is the difference. The enemy
15:56
hopes the fire will end your story. God uses
16:00
the fire to write a better chapter. Once I understood
16:04
that, Another truth became impossible to ignore.
16:09
God wasn't using marriage primarily to change
16:12
my circumstances. He was using marriage to change
16:16
me. And perhaps that is one of the greatest purposes
16:21
of covenant. Not simply to find the right person,
16:25
but to become the person God is calling you to
16:28
be. As we come to the end of today's conversation,
16:33
I hope you're beginning to see the fire differently.
16:37
Perhaps you've spent years asking God to remove
16:40
the fire. Maybe today he's inviting you to understand
16:44
it instead. We've discovered that God never wastes
16:48
the fire. We've seen that throughout creation,
16:53
everything of great value passes through a process
16:56
of refinement. Gold, clay, bread, steel. They
17:01
all remind us that God often uses pressure to
17:05
prepare what he intends to use. And finally,
17:08
we've learned something every believer must understand.
17:12
Not every fire comes from the same source. The
17:16
enemy burns to destroy. God refines to transform.
17:21
One seeks to separate. The other seeks to sanctify.
17:25
The same heat, completely different purpose.
17:28
So if you find yourself walking through a difficult
17:32
season today, don't ask only, Lord, when will
17:35
this end? Ask another question as well. Lord,
17:40
what are you producing in me that could never
17:43
be produced any other way? You may discover that
17:47
the fire you wanted God to extinguish is becoming
17:51
the very place where He is shaping your faith,
17:54
your character, and your marriage. Remember,
17:58
God never wastes the fire. But our journey through
18:03
the house in the middle of the forest is not
18:06
over. In our next conversation, we're going to
18:10
make this deeply personal. We'll move beyond
18:14
understanding the fire and begin looking at what
18:17
the fire actually reveals inside us. We'll discover
18:22
that marriage is far more than two people learning
18:25
to live together. It is one of God's greatest
18:29
classrooms, a place where pride is confronted,
18:34
where forgiveness is learned, where character
18:37
is refined, and where two imperfect people are
18:42
gradually transformed into the image of Christ.
18:46
We'll also confront one of the greatest misconceptions
18:50
many couples carry, that every difficult season
18:54
means their marriage is failing. What if the
18:58
opposite is true? What if the pressure is evidence
19:02
that God is still working? And what if the greatest
19:06
miracle isn't that your marriage avoids the fire,
19:10
but that you don't come out of it the same person
19:13
who went in? We'll answer those questions next
19:17
time. Until then, remember this, the warmth in
19:22
the house is never the absence of fire. It is
19:25
the testimony of a fire that has been surrendered
19:28
to God. God bless you, and I'll see you in our
19:32
next conversation.