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How to Take on a Radical Acceptance Mindset · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, I just want to say thank you for taking time out of your day to spend here with me listening to today's episode.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: And today I wanted to tackle uh the topic of radical acceptance again.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: This this idea of radical acceptance has been coming up routinely uh in conversations with clients, and just in general, as we're going through life, I think we we kind of get to this place of um recognizing that sometimes we have to just say to ourselves, this is what it is, and it's not about condoning certain things, it's just coming to this place of radical acceptance.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about what it is.
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  SPEAKER_01: So, radical acceptance is the ability to accept reality for what it is, even when it's painful or what we don't want.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: It is very important that we recognize that radical acceptance does not mean that you are liking it or condoning it or that you are okay with it.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's really just an acknowledgement of what something is without judgment or without resistance.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: So Mel Robbins, uh, one of my clients is actually sharing with me that Mel Robbins has uh either a reel out there or something where she's referring to dealing with difficult people.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And one of her statements is let them be, let them be, let them be.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And when I hear that, I really hear an element of radical acceptance.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's recognizing that they are showing up as they are.
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  SPEAKER_01: I don't condone it, I don't have to like it, but I can acknowledge it.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're talking about the benefits of radical acceptance and why it's so powerful, it's because there is research that shows that it reduces stress and it enhances your own emotional and mental well-being.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it does also improve relationships because when we just accept how somebody is showing up and then we ask ourselves what we need, we're able to then communicate that to the other person and we're able to figure out whether we can work together and negotiate where they are and where we are, versus bending ourselves inside out in order to make things work.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important to just recognize that that when we're talking about radical acceptance, we're freeing up some mental and emotional space because we're no longer putting the energy into trying to fight it or to fix it or to make it different than what it is.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're just giving giving ourselves permission to say, okay, this is what it is, and now how do I want to show up?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: What do I feel like I what is the choice that I want to make for myself that is connected to my own being in terms of my values and what would be meaningful to me?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: More often than not, if we were to step back into that observer mode when we are fighting something, we are actually putting so much energy into trying to change something that isn't ours to change.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: We're trying to control something that's not ours to control.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And in it's it, you know, I don't want to discount the idea that that radical acceptance can absolutely be a challenging issue because it does fight against our innate desire to control.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: It it fights against our desire to change things, control them, or have certainty.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: However, it's really the acceptance, this radical acceptance, that offers us a pathway to create meaningful change.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we accept the reality for what it is, then we can make values-based decisions for ourselves to figure out what will move us forward because we're no longer spinning our wheels trying to change something that we don't have control over in the first place.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: I get that this is not an easy thing to do or to accomplish.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're talking about practicing it and putting it into our everyday, one of the things that we have to ask ourselves or that we can ask ourselves is, you know, what's within my domain to uh control and what's not.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we can step out into observer mode and look at what it is that we're potentially trying to change, is that ours to change in the first place?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or if I just acknowledge that this is what it is, notice it and name it, and then ask myself, how do I want to move forward?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: That is putting into practice radical acceptance.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to also recognize that when we're practicing radical acceptance, it is absolutely imperative to be in the present moment.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's calling on us to be mindful because the past really is in the past.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: We can't go undo it.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Now, absolutely, we can learn from the past.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: We can ask ourselves if this were to happen again, what did I learn?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: How can I use this to move myself forward?
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  SPEAKER_01: But staying there, we don't change anything.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: We can't undo it.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also about recognizing that we don't know how the future is going to unfold.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have control over how everything is going to occur.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we're practicing radical acceptance, it is really coming back to this present moment.
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  SPEAKER_01: What is happening in front of me right here and right now?
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  SPEAKER_01: And in this present moment, what are the best choices that I can make for myself?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, oftentimes uh radical acceptance and the idea of radical acceptance is used in conjunction with um relationships.
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, how do I recognize when certain relationships aren't working?
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  SPEAKER_01: But radical acceptance is important in many different areas of our life.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we're going through, for those of us who have aging parents, there comes a point in time where we have to practice radical acceptance of the situation that it is.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: When we have lost a loved one, you know, when we're when we're going through grief, it's radical acceptance doesn't say I'm okay with the loss of this person, but acknowledging what has happened is a big part of it.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: So radical acceptance can be really useful in various aspects of our lives.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, in the workplace, for instance, this can be, especially if you're in the corporate world, this comes up with clients all the time.
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  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot that's outside of your control because decisions are being made by somebody else, especially in a larger corporation.
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  SPEAKER_01: So being able to say, okay, I acknowledge that this is the situation that it is, how do I choose to move myself forward?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: What would be in alignment with where I'm at and what I would um what I would like to in terms of moving myself forward towards my own values.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: This is a big topic.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's a hot topic.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think it we a lot of us struggle with it.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to talk with me about this or anything else that you feel that coaching could support you with, by all means feel free to reach out at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
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  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
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  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.