Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Chewey’s Salon Chair #29 – Live from Limestone Brewery at May Day Mayhem in Osage, IA with Chewey, Spinner, Shannon, Tony, Derek and a bit of Adam

Transcript

Chewey’s Salon Chair #29 – Live from Limestone Brewery at May Day Mayhem in Osage, IA with Chewey, Spinner, Shannon, Tony, Derek and a bit of Adam · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  I'm prepared. Uh- Oh, no. Do it, no. [laughs] Go, go. Ready, set, go. Were you not recording that whole time? No, no, nope. Go. Ready, set, go. That was your fucking practice run and you blew it, again. Go, go.
• 0:11
  Coming to you live from Osage, Iowa from Limestone Brewers. Limestone Brewers, brewed in the middle of everywhere. This is the aftermath of MayDay Mayhem Clunker Chaos race [bell rings] 2023.
• 0:25
  [laughs] You t- you two are fucking horrible. [laughs] So w- I thought we did really well She's an isogen. I thought we did really well.
• 0:32
  Uh, to start with, it's, uh, Spinner and I, and, and [laughs] Shannon, and- [laughs]... eventually Sven's gonna be on here. We might let Dave Luns be on here. We- No, don't let Dave Luns be on here.
• 0:42
  Dave Luns is not on here. Um- Did you say Sven? Sven, yes. Did you say Sven? The problem with Dave Luns- Oh... is that people that listen to this need to understand English, and we don't have Kayla to translate for you.
• 0:50
  Kayla's not here to pr- translate. Could you- Actually, you know what? I can understand him when he's drunk, so I also understand Luns when he's drunk. Here, hey, let's use this. I can totally translate.
• 0:58
  Well, but yeah, you need to speak into the microphone as well. Okay. I can totally translate. I'm good. Okay. He's- So, so you're translating for what? Me? You and Luns. [laughs] All right.
• 1:08
  'Cause I s- you guys, like, speak, like, the same, like, drunk speak. All right. Mm. I feel like I- I'm not drunk though... I, I got you both. All right. Um, so we just finished a race. We're at, in Limestone.
• 1:18
  We're actually out ba- in the back part of the brewery where there, uh, the, the thumping you hear is, there's axe throwing going on back here. There's a, a rockabilly band playing up front.
• 1:27
  Um- This is a fucking party, dude. It is. This was, this was awesome. This was like, I think Greg is the one that started it.
• 1:34
  Greg and I both, or Sven and I both got the same, the same message about the same time from Joe, one of the guys that put it on. Yeah. And, uh, he was like, "You gonna go? I don't know. You wanna go?" Yeah.
• 1:44
  So all of a sudden this turned into a... And by the way, getting here was the biggest planning shit show you've ever seen in your life. [laughs] It was a straight shot, wasn't it? You guys like- No, no.
• 1:53
  We've been planning, like, "Okay, we're gonna do less cars, and we're gonna get here easier, and blah, blah, blah."
• 1:57
  And it just, it just started, it turned into a drunk at my house in Decorah la- yup, last night, and just, just continued on. So- Yes... basically the weekend happened- Yes... and then we raced today.
• 2:07
  [laughs] Uh, this t- this is day three. [laughs] This was not that [laughs]... I mean, your house was not an unusual spot last night- No... or this morning.
• 2:14
  Did you, do you, did you see the dude that, in the, like, that came up to us last night, was... He rode by us like three times and so badly wanted to stop, and I told him he can't 'cause he's on an e-bike. Oh.
• 2:22
  Oh, the e-bike guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is no e-bikes here. So there, yeah, most bikes today weren't fucking invented before 1980. I mean- Yeah... ner- they were invented before 1980. I rode my Western Flyer.
• 2:33
  Yep. I bike that's been in my yard for this clunker race. Uh- And it's been sitting outside through the weather for two years, three years? It's six years. At least. Six years. Oh, geez. At least.
• 2:42
  It was out- outside my house in Platteville, and then it was outside my house in Madison, now it's outside my house in Decorah. I literally threw tires on it last night. [laughs] And, um- And we did some-... raced today.
• 2:52
  Yeah. And you did awesome. I- It went, it went good. I would've... So here's the deal. I broke a chain, I walked an entire lap, and it's a three-lap race, and somehow you still finished behind me. [laughs] I...
• 3:03
  [laughs] My, my third lap, my third lap was a total victory lap. I was just putzing around out there. Yeah. Like, I got to the one bridge that I hadn't cleaned- Yeah...
• 3:10
  I mean, three tries, and I, I, I would've gone back there 15 times to make sure I cleaned that bridge, and I finally did. And I did it on my fourth try, or my, my fourth try with the third lap I did it. Oh, yeah.
• 3:20
  I was actually gonna ask you about that, Spinner, 'cause remember, I'm like, "They're fixing your bike." And he's like, "What? What?" Yeah. When Max was fixing it. I'm like, "Yeah, they're fixing your bike right now."
• 3:26
  And he's like, "Oh, shit, I should go over there." Yeah. Yeah. And we did. Nice, nice job. It just, it just broke a chain.
• 3:31
  But it's, I mean, it's a simple bike, but I, uh, broke the snap ring, uh, off of the cog in the back wheel. Great. Yeah, that's what, that's what Max said. So- Or was it, who was fixing it?
• 3:42
  Was it Derrick or was it- Joe was fixing it. Joe was fixing it. Uh, and then Max Gisses and, yes, um, locals. [laughs] And, and these guys put on an awesome race. It was fantastic. It was fun. It was so much fun.
• 3:51
  It was a ton of fun. It, a race. Yes, but I mean- Yeah... it was mostly- Um- I think there's a big appetite for events like this where, um, you come and it's mostly fun, and you can compete as, if you want.
• 4:01
  I mean, this reminds me of like the single speed thing. I think most people were single speeds today. But where it's, it's focused on the fun instead of how well you can do, and the trophy, and, you know- Yeah...
• 4:11
  that- Absolutely... striving bullshit. Yeah. So it's a- Yes... I mean, it was drinking in the woods and it was a long casual ride out there. And then, I mean- That was a long ride out there. I wasn't expecting that.
• 4:20
  That, but that was still cool. So we- Actually, it wasn't that long... in, in essence we got a, we got a, a tour of the trail system that the guys, uh, what's the name of the club? Uh- Mitchell County Marketing...
• 4:28
  Mitchell County something something. Mountain Goats. Yeah. Yeah. And, and we get a, we get a nice little, nice little cool of their, of their... Oh, yeah, there it is. It's on the hat. Oh. It's on the hat.
• 4:36
  It's on the hat. Yeah, it's on the hat. Why do you look at the other way? It's on the hat. Thanks. Matt just saved us again. Yes. Matt won't get on here because he wants to talk e-bikes. I'm not letting him on.
• 4:43
  [laughs] Fuck that guy. Well, the nice thing about it, too, is that there was a garage sale happening right outside the brewery at the start, so we were able to buy some dolls. Oh, yeah. [laughs] Yeah.
• 4:50
  And T-shirts or whatever I wore. Uh, yeah. Uh- Um-... I think yours is a USA Today, like- USA Today... tank top. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, yeah. And so there was this box of like seven dolls, and, uh, $2 apiece.
• 5:04
  I picked up a doll and walked it up to the lady. I'm like, "I wanna buy this." And she's like, "Just get it out of here. They're so creepy." [laughs] She's like, "You don't have to pay me. Just take it."
• 5:12
  [laughs] And then after you, like another like 10 people- Then, then there was more dolls... did the exact same thing. Yes. I, I- And then we got baskets- I'm a trendsetter... and zip-tied them to our bikes. Yeah.
• 5:19
  Uh-huh. [laughs] Yeah. Just, yeah. Yes, you are. [laughs] The, the- Thanks, Spinner... the- You're welcome... the, the, uh, Fourth of July wife beater T-shirt [laughs] was fantastic. Yes. [laughs] No, it was a good day.
• 5:29
  I mean, the weather held out. It was supposed to rain. Uh, it was cool enough. I mean, it was like probably 60 degrees out there, maybe. It wasn't 90, which would suck. Uh, no, I- It's good... uh, yeah.
• 5:40
  Three laps of- It's good... three two-mile laps maybe. Was it two miles? Is it... Uh, I don't know. It went fast. I, it was, it was faster than I thought it was gonna be. Yeah. But yeah. So I mean, I, I, I think...
• 5:51
  In their flyer, they were talking about 11, 12 miles for the ride out, ride back, and doing the course. Yeah. So we rode 12 miles today. But, but again, you rode... What year is your bike?
• 6:00
  I don't know, it's a Western Flyer. Um, so it's not like the typical Schwinn, but it's, I don't know. Back in the day that everybody... Like, one company made a bike and it was like a Sears or Schwinn- Right. Yeah...
• 6:10
  or a Western Flyer or whatever. Right. So mine has a Western Flyer badge on it. Um- If I remember, Western Flyers were made by Columbia Bicycle. Okay. Because- Hmm...
• 6:19
  because they did a retro one, and I have one of the retro ones. They were Western Flyer, but they literally shut down and redid [door closing] shit, this is probably 25, 30 years ago.
• 6:28
  But this, so I got this one, it was hanging in a garage. I was at a cookout in Platteville, Wisconsin, and that bike was hanging, a woman's bike was hanging, and then a kid's bike.
• 6:36
  And it, and so I got all three for 100 bucks. [laughs] What? And it, and it'd probably been hanging there for years. I mean, maybe been hanging there for decades, literally hanging in this garage. So.
• 6:46
  What happened to the other two? I gave one to my girlfriend at the time, and I gave one to a buddy that, uh, had a young kid. So I mean, they're all being ridden. Nice. Nice, nice.
• 6:55
  But, um, I mean, it's not, other than like the chain dropping and riding it too hard for conditions- Well, the- I mean, the geometry's not that bad... um, so I made the first and third place guys go out and ride my bike.
• 7:11
  'Cause they both, they were all on mountain bikes. Well, what was yours? D- what year? You had the fat b- Mine? I, no, I was trying to look it up and it's like '40s or '50s. It's like early '50s, late '40s.
• 7:20
  Is it a skip tooth? No. No? So it was after skip tooth. Okay. But, but I mean it was still a pretty big gear. Okay. And, um, and it's a Firestone. But- It's a Firestone...
• 7:29
  and I, and kind of the same thing, mine, I got mine, I gave a guy far too much money for that one and a few other ones just because I wanted to be a nice guy and, and I got four bikes for 500 bucks and like, totally got ripped off on the deal.
• 7:43
  But, you know, I've been riding this Firestone in Decorah. It's my bar-hopping bike. Mm-hmm. And it works, and it works awesome. It's a fantastic bike. But a couple of the guys went out and rode it. Um, Adam Blake. Okay.
• 7:55
  Yep. Um, Adam Blake and, uh, Trevor, what's Trevor's last name? Um, Christine Trevor. Trevor from Way Radio, yes. Yeah, Christine Trevor. Yeah.
• 8:05
  Um, they went out and rode it and they were all surprised that, like, Adam said he rode everything. He didn't, he didn't dab once or have to get off and walk. He rode the entire course on that bike.
• 8:14
  Shocked the shit out of even him. So that's, that in itself- Trevor Bridges... Trevor Bridges. Yeah. And, and, and, uh, yeah, so he was, they were all like, they had, like, fun.
• 8:25
  They kept, we just kept going like, "Adam's not back yet. Adam's not back yet." I think he was just out dinking around and having a good time. All right. [clears throat] Yes, here we go. Uh-oh. We have guests.
• 8:34
  Guest speakers. Guest speakers coming in. Yeah. Stop the bullshit, there's gonna be some serious conversations going on. We're doing this on the fly. Um, we got two new bodies in here. Yeah, spitting the shit out.
• 8:44
  Open your mouth and be good to go. But, um, you guys- And, uh, ride the bike again or something? Not really that much. Okay. You should hear, you should hear those guys. There's a lot of party going on around us. Yeah.
• 8:53
  I hear you. It's kind of in here myself too. Oh, yeah? There you go, you guys are on. God, I sound so sexy. Yep, we're on. You can hear you? I can hear me. Do I sound sexy? You do. Uh... Sounds very sexy.
• 9:02
  You need a little more smoke in your voice. I don't know. Do I sound sexy? That's better. Now I'm turned on. Yeah. [laughs] You gotta get a little growl in there. They'll give me a microphone boner.
• 9:11
  [laughs] There's a lot happening here. There is a lot. Hey, there's a lot going on in my ears right now. Yeah, yeah. [laughs] No, I guess, so most podcasts are one guy talking, everybody else listening.
• 9:21
  Ours are never like that. They're just one gigantic mash of bodies talking shit for the most part. Got it. So, um, introduce yourself. Hey. So we get to hear your voice. Yeah. [clears throat] My name is, [clears throat]
• 9:33
  my name is Tony. Oh, one more time. [laughs] Sorry. You had to make up a name really quick. [laughs] That was, go- [laughs] That's so salty. Sorry. Sorry, your, your- Tony the Tiger...
• 9:40
  my, my name is- Tony the Tiger, did you say that?... Tony, and I am the, uh, one of the owners of Limestone Brewers, the brewery that we are currently hanging out in. And thank you for hosting, by the way.
• 9:50
  Oh, yeah, no problem. Brewed in the middle of everywhere- No problem... I'm told. Yeah. Brewed in the middle of everywhere. Yes. [laughs] That's what I saw.
• 9:57
  That's, uh, that is our, that is our slogan- In the middle of everywhere but nowhere... right on the glass. It's everywhere.
• 10:01
  And a lot of your beers, I was noticing the cans in the front cooler have bicycles on a lot of those. Some of them do, yeah. And one of them has Joe on there. Yes. What? Yes.
• 10:09
  Yeah, he's buying a dog from a hippie or something? A goat. Uh, no, he's actually- [laughs] A goat... he is actually trading a goat for a growler of beer. Oh, he's trading a goat?
• 10:18
  I, I'm not sure who's getting ripped off on that deal. I'm with you. [laughs] No, but, but here's the thing. If you actually look at that picture- If I now wanna bring a goat here...
• 10:24
  if you look at the picture, the question is is he bringing the goat or is he bringing the beer? Ah. Oh. We don't know the answer. Nobody knows the answer. But what's he leaving with? That's like, that's really important.
• 10:34
  Probably the beer is my guess. Yeah. Cheers. But why would a hippie have a growler of beer out in the woods? It's a hot Lake, man. We have no idea. Is this the Maybach you're drinking, Tony? No, that's the Amber.
• 10:43
  So what, yeah, your, your Maybach has a bike, a fat bike riding away from a tornado. Is that the- Yes, because springtime is notorious for storms and, you know, getting the weather in. Okay.
• 10:53
  And so, uh, so I, I've dealt with a couple of artists, and basically this particular artist that I work with, I just let her go. Okay. I'm like, it's, it's Maybach Mayhem is the name of the beer, and
• 11:06
  give me what you got. And so [laughs]- So you didn't say- And, and, and actually-... "It's Iowa. Give me a bicycle and a tornado. Fuck it, do what you want"... yep, what do you want?
• 11:12
  [laughs] And so the, but actually the per- what we, what we do a lot of times is the person that is on the, the label, there's a face. And that particular one is the husband of our previous taproom manager.
• 11:27
  Him, his name is Brian Odein. Okay. And he was the pastor for the, our, uh, Lutheran Church in town. He got reassigned, and hence took my, um, [smacks lips] previous taproom manager, Lisa Marie.
• 11:42
  But we put him on the label because, I don't know why we did that one for him. But Derrick is on a label right here. Pine Run Lager. He's on Pine Run, which is a small batch that we do once in a while.
• 11:52
  That's not in the cooler. I didn't see it. No, no, not at all. It's a very seasonal kind of thing. Okay. And literally, I have figured out how to make this beer.
• 11:59
  I've, I have to take the pine, um, the spruce tips off of a specific tree at a specific time of year Because if you change trees, it'll change the beer. Really? So it tastes like gin, I assume? I don't know.
• 12:10
  I- You know what? Honestly, it does a little bit. Who said- It does a little bit... who said gin? Who said gin? I did. Oh, got it.
• 12:17
  Yeah, she'll sleep through anything until you m- mention the word gin, and she's in, yeah. Oh, what, gin? Oh, now we know. I have, um- It's Tanqueray over here... I have third balcony bad memories- Yes, please...
• 12:26
  of a gin night, so I don't drink gin, but... Well, but we've got a lot of beers here that are named after the trails. We've got, uh, Devil's Punch Bowl Sour. Yeah. That's a good one. Devil's Punch Bowl. We got Pine Run.
• 12:38
  Um, I haven't figured out how to put goat in the name of a beer yet, but we'll get there. Greatest of all time beer. Yeah, right? Yeah. It's right there. I think- Right, yeah... it was, uh, so the brewery's awesome.
• 12:52
  The trails are awesome. First time I've been in Osage for anything like this. Yeah. Um, do you, so do both of you go out and work on the trails other than going to the Soo? I do occasionally.
• 13:02
  My particular issue is I'm not a big Facebooker, and that's where it always gets announced, so if I randomly come across that it's happening, I c- I've helped a couple times, but there is another group of people that, uh, do more than I do.
• 13:15
  He's helped a lot, you know? I'm usually doing beer stuff. Tony's so busy with the brewery that I don't bug him a bunch on trail work.
• 13:20
  Like, if he wa- He's done stuff in the past, but, um, we've got a group of, of guys that ride consistently that really help take care of the trails. Right. He's got so much going on here with the brewery.
• 13:32
  Um, and he's done so much for us. But at the same time- Like, it's amazing. To be fair, yeah, beer is just as important as trails. Absolutely. If there, if, if there wasn't beer- Yeah, well-...
• 13:40
  I don't know if I would've came. If, if the, if there wasn't- The trails and the beer. It's a combination... if, if there wasn't beer, there would be no trail work ever done. [laughs] Yeah, correct.
• 13:47
  Now, to, to, to counter that, though, one idea that we have is I have some really big windows in the front of the brewery. Yeah.
• 13:54
  And what I wanna do is I wanna take one whole pane and take the map that has been created now, that we just got hot off the press today. Yeah, hot off the press. Ta-da.
• 14:04
  Like, you were having a hard time holding that thing. I was so excited. [laughs] You were, you were giving those to everybody. Well, I couldn't believe it happened today- [laughs] Look at that, happy three...
• 14:10
  when all these guys are here, like people that I've ridden r- with in other states and other events, and we had the, we're, we're on the map. Very professional. But what I wanted to do- You're literally on the map...
• 14:20
  is I wanna draw that map on one of those windows, so that if you're outside and even if the brewery's closed- Wow, that would be great...
• 14:26
  there's always a map available, and you could just take a picture of it and go- Nice... yeah. Brilliant. Yeah. No, I mean, it was, uh, yeah, a great day, and, like, you put it all together, man.
• 14:36
  I don't know if I would've come... Well, I've been to Osage before for, like, weddings and stuff, but, um, you really put Osage on the map for me. I mean, I'd, I would never have guessed.
• 14:46
  I knew you had trails here, but I didn't know what you had until we rode today, so... You know what we call this guy? What do you call him? The sweaty philanthropist.
• 14:53
  [laughs] He puts his heart into this thing, and he gets- But patchouli-... a little ba- a little back... and essential oils helps that smell Yes, it does. Absolutely. Yeah, it does. It covers that shit up.
• 15:03
  Covers it up a little bit. A little patchouli, a little moss. I, I, I was just kinda- A little, a little something something. Yeah. As you, as you were up there- It's a little sultry.
• 15:10
  [laughs] There, 'cause you were up there- Key word, salt... handing out trophies, I'm like- I was wondering what that was... I'm like, "Okay, where does this guy, like, DJ or someplace?" Because you are like...
• 15:20
  Like, this is, like, your jam right now. Yeah. This is like your- Well- You've been pacing for 20 minutes waiting to get out here and talk. I know you have been. Yeah. I, I, I mean, we had a band, Highway 9.
• 15:29
  Oh, that's right. We played for years. I played in bands in, when I was out east, um, played in bands for a long time. Back east. I was in Pittsburgh for 10 years. Were you really? Minneapolis for five, seven years.
• 15:40
  Where, where did you play in Minneapolis? Uptown. Oh, yeah? I lived in the Uptown area. Oh, did you really? I hung out at the Seventh Street Entry a lot and First Ave. Yep.
• 15:48
  Yeah, that, that's weird up there now, but yeah. '90s, like in the early '90s, I mean, like, I didn't even realize what was going on, but that was the place to be for music.
• 15:56
  Like, I used to go to the Seventh Street Entry and see, like, Jane's Addiction and stuff, like Run Westy Run and Bush. Nice.
• 16:07
  Did you, you didn't even know that they were, like, gonna be- No, I didn't know Soul Asylum was gonna be famous back then. Yeah. Right, right. Oh, really? Yeah. Soul Asylum? No way.
• 16:13
  Trailer Trash, you ever heard of Trailer Trash? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, I was, I hung out with those guys, man. We, we must've, we might've been at concerts together.
• 16:20
  I went to more Seventh Street than I did First Ave stuff. Yeah. I loved it up there. Back in the '90s especially, yeah. Chewy went to a lot of concerts back in the '40s, where his bike also came from.
• 16:27
  [laughs] Well, I just- And then, like, he wa- he's been, like, that was his first bike that he rode today. Like, he got that one from Christmas when he was a kid. Well, dude, that bike was aggressive.
• 16:36
  [laughs] I mean, I'm like, geez, man. My bike is, like- It's a Firestone?... weighs, like, 80 pounds, but that thing was, like- Your bi- your bike is aggressive... 98 pounds. Yeah. I think it's a '47.
• 16:43
  With the full, like, hammered fenders. He didn't even- Like, you can see the hammer marks when they made the fenders. Yeah, I mean- [laughs]... it was a g- it was, like, ambitious, man. Yeah.
• 16:51
  I gotta get a real bike, a real old bike. Yeah. Yeah. Mine doesn't count. I mean, it's over 20 years old. Are, you, by the way, you have a real old bike now. My Trek? No, I don't think so.
• 16:59
  There's a, no, there's a blue Schwinn that's- The blue one has a, it, there's a blue one... that's sitting in front of your shop, and I'm not taking it home with me. It's staying right there. [laughs] Really?
• 17:05
  Yes, it's yours. Yes. Oh, awesome. We'll put it back here. It, it came all the way from Decorah. Yeah. I, I was, uh, yeah, it was, I w- I don't know. Well, speaking of Decorah- Well, where were we? Go ahead...
• 17:14
  like, I'm, I'm really, what I'm taking from this day is, like, I'm so glad that all you guys came, and we had a great ride today. Great turnout. It was a chance to showcase the brewery and our trails.
• 17:25
  Um, but I'm really excited about making Northeast Iowa kind of a, a little destination. You know, Cresco, our, uh- Decorah...
• 17:35
  uh, Decorah, you know, and Osage and, and, like, Mason City and, and getting that kind of worked in together, and we were talking about that a little earlier.
• 17:42
  Yeah, and like maybe putting a series together, 'cause I know Mason City has been doing a lot of work, and Ken Marker's been working up there putting in professional trails, and they put a lot, 12 million they have dedicated to trails right now?
• 17:54
  Millions of dollars. Wow. Yeah. That's a lot of money. Yeah. Holy cow.
• 17:56
  And that's the reason, like, I pushed this second wave of what we're gonna do, and then, like, hooking in with Decorah and getting people just into this kind of V of this, of this Northeast Iowa thing. Mm-hmm.
• 18:08
  Um, you know, like, when I go to Cuyuna, like, hey, let's go to redhead for a day. Like- People will, bikers will drive an hour to go check shit out if they know it's cool. And I think- Yeah...
• 18:19
  we all need to communicate now and kinda just work together. And, and we talked about this earlier, like
• 18:26
  that's what I take out of this day more than anything else, is just communicating with Northeast Iowa and getting, getting people to funnel into this area.
• 18:34
  And, and you're right because, you know, we, we'll be out on the trails in Decorah on a weekday and you're running into guys from Mason City that come just to ride for the afternoon. Oh, yes. For the evening. Yes. Yeah.
• 18:41
  Yeah. I mean, we're, we're not gonna be the Cayuna and we're not gonna be like, uh, Arkansas, like a Bentonville, but I mean, there's definitely a day trip from here- There is...
• 18:49
  where you can come and you, you ride, and then you have a beer and have a pizza and you go home and- Well, and you've got camping right around the trails. Yes. There's... Yeah, yeah. Which is awesome.
• 18:56
  So what we need is a, like I've got Limestone Brewers brewed in the middle of everywhere. What we need is Northeast Iowa and then some kinda tagline, like, "It's not flat." [laughs] Something like that.
• 19:10
  'Cause people honestly are gonna think- Oh, I was gonna do that for Single Speed USA. Yeah. I, uh- I was gonna put it on the shirts- Yeah... that say, "Iowa, flat as your mom." [laughs] Flat as your mom. [laughs] Yeah.
• 19:18
  Yeah. I'm gonna have to disagree. [laughs] 'Cause I rode in Sedona- Your mom is not flat... in January. She's duck, yeah. I rode in Sedona in January, and I was like, I waltzed into that place, man.
• 19:27
  My feathers were sticking way out. [laughs] [laughs] And I'm like, "I am in shape." [laughs] And I got up into that shit, man, and I was toast immediately. Like- The, Sedona's the original red dirt. Oh, my God, dude.
• 19:40
  Canyon's the second, but yeah. Like, I had no chance there. Yeah. Like, I'm like, "Oh, shit," like I came back here and I'm like, "Oh, my God, this is training wheel shit." Yeah, yeah.
• 19:49
  Like, I gotta go back there and give it another run because I lost my mind out there. Like, I've gotta go back and take like a quarter of a mile of a climb and say, "I'm gonna spend three weeks trying to tackle this."
• 20:01
  Uh-huh. Oh, and, and y- Like, it's nuts... I'll throw another place in there that, that we ran a race down there with Austin, Texas. Really? Oh, yeah. Has way more of that shit.
• 20:10
  Like, you'll go out and go up- Austin, Texas? Smithville. No, I know- We, we were, it was Smithville. Well, Smithville, that was, but- Where Hope Floats was filmed.
• 20:15
  [laughs] We've been, we've been riding, I've been riding the stuff that's, that's in Austin, the like little like parks and stuff, and it's- Greenbelt?... it's cra- It's insane.
• 20:23
  Like, a really nice park where you can walk. There's like walking, jogging, blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden there's a mountain bike trail.
• 20:29
  You're riding and it's like, "Well, this is super easy," and then all of a sudden there's a four-foot rock wall. Uh-huh. Right. And, and there's no, and there's no riding around it.
• 20:38
  You either walk up over the top of it, or you figure out the line to ride it. Other, because there's no, there's no walking around it.
• 20:43
  So it's, it's an amazing place to go ride that, that doesn't get any, gets no publicity at all. Wow. Yeah. And, and, and it, it, when you get there, you go, "Oh, I remember places like this in Sedona."
• 20:53
  That, that's the first thing I got out of it. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I used to ride, um, I lived in Boston for a number of years, and we would have little places that we would go ride.
• 21:03
  And actually, that was a precursor to the bike that I rode today. It was called the Iron Horse. I bought it off a buddy of mine. It was like steel-framed.
• 21:11
  It had shocks on the front, but- Oh, were they, they were a Canadian bike, weren't they? I think so. Yeah. Somebody stole it eventually, but I had to replace it with this Trek.
• 21:19
  But we would go out to this place, it was about our, it was about 45 minutes from work. We had a group of guys from work that we'd all go out there, load up our bikes. It was called Vietnam. [laughs] And,
• 21:32
  uh, it was a trail. Why do you always have to bring it back to Vietnam on us? [laughs] How about Napa? I d- No, that's what the name of the place was. But out east- You're not wrong. You're just an asshole.
• 21:40
  You've got this, you've got this- [laughs] I'm trying to talk about the terrain. That could go for any of us anytime. [laughs] I'm trying to be cool, all right? Let me be cool for two seconds.
• 21:49
  I'm doing mo- I'm doing movie references. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. Continue. I'm interested. But you'd, you'd come across- I like the movie reference. It was in an old, uh, uh, uh, there was highlines going through.
• 21:58
  An old apocalypse game. So you had this big open area, and then all these woods off to the side, and you'd go in and out of these woods off the highline. But out there they have these boulders,
• 22:09
  and you'd come across a boulder, and the line doesn't go around it. It goes over the boulder. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're like, "Um..." I ran into that in Sedona, and then over the boulder was, uh, death.
• 22:21
  [laughs] Oh, yeah. And I'm like- Yeah... I just happened to be walking at that time, and I'm like, "Well, that's interesting. Today's not my day." [laughs] I was glad there was no big drops today. I didn't know...
• 22:31
  You said there was a spicy downhill, which you didn't say it as because there's stairs at the end. [laughs] Oh, we didn't, we're, we're in, we're in Iowa, so it's seven feet. Yeah.
• 22:38
  We didn't, we didn't go down Pucker today, though. No. You took 'em around the easy side. I didn't, uh- Well, it's more, it's more of a scenic- I wasn't gonna go down that- It's a more scenic route...
• 22:46
  the, the entrance into the stairs kinda spooked me, so I walked down the- I was like, I expected to crash. I didn't, but I was like, "Okay."
• 22:52
  You did, you did it well, and I'm looking at it, it's like going, how did he do those steps before the bridge? Because it's like when I hit it, I just, it was just a giant thunk. Oh, yeah.
• 22:59
  And I'm like, "I'm dying right now." Well, you know, and we were on primitive bicycles today. Yeah. Which is, it's fun. It's celebrating the way, you know, where this all started, you know? Which is, yeah.
• 23:09
  And the fun thing about it is like, there's windy trails and most of the, uh, clunkers have coaster brakes. So you really gotta like- Kinda plan ahead. You gotta plan ahead... look at, you gotta look at your corner. Yep.
• 23:18
  You gotta know where your back wheel's gonna be. Yep. And you gotta fucking like take all of that corner and when you go into the side because you can't brake really, so.
• 23:25
  And you don't have a dropper and you can't get low, you know? My sh- my sh- Shorty can't get low. My shitty riding that, coming through the last three bridges before you f- before you come into the finish. Right.
• 23:34
  Like, that downhill drop to the left, I cleaned it the last time. Otherwise, the, the third, the third time I went over there I was almost in the water. Yeah.
• 23:43
  [laughs] Like, took it too fast, lost my edge, started sliding. The last bridge. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And, and it's got a- You gotta be careful too 'cause there's gators in there. And also, yeah, gators.
• 23:52
  And also there's Old Greg. Old Greg. Yeah. I saw that dude. Old Greg's in there. Old Greg. Old Greg, "What are you doing in my waters?" Old Greg. [laughs] He'll take you down. Whatever that, that first entrance is.
• 24:00
  So we rode through a junkyard today literally. Literally. So the, then, then the front, uh, the... When we first got in there, that little concrete section, it was like a rock garden, but it was like curbs and- Yeah...
• 24:10
  chunks of concrete and shit. Oh, yeah.
• 24:11
  And like, if I had of known that was coming, I would've got off my bike and carried it and ran through there, because I was like, "Ah, I, I can't believe I got through that and didn't pinch a flat," because like- Well, I can't believe nobody had flat out there.
• 24:20
  Like, nobody did. I was shocked. I'm not so sure that I'm not getting one. I broke a chain, but- [laughs] I feel like you're the only person that broke down, though. Like- Yeah, yeah... in your issues. Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:29
  And thank God Joe was out there- Yeah... because I was gonna, I mean- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He, he was coming behind and he was like, "Take my bike." And I'm like, "I'm gonna get to the camp.
• 24:36
  I was gonna take your bike probably, and whatever." Mine? Yeah, when I got back to the bar. I'm like, "What?" And then Joe's like, "Take my bike." I'm like, "No, I'll go." And he's like, "Take my bike!" [laughs] Oh.
• 24:45
  I'm like, "Okay, I'll ride your bike." [laughs] Oh. Yeah, that was epic. Yeah. When... His is in way better shape than mine.
• 24:51
  It was a totally different riding experience, but- But rewinding a little bit, too, like you guys, like when I went on, on that SingleSpeed trip to Decorah, like, um, that, that was big for me.
• 25:02
  Like, I just- So much fun... the whole event was so well organized. SingleSpeed USA? So good. Nobody told me about this. So much fun. I, I feel, I feel it was the registration thing. Tell me more. Yeah, yeah.
• 25:10
  We're all registered now. Tell me more. Tell, tell me, let me... Tell me I want to ride that. Grab a seat. Oh. [laughs] [laughs] There you go. There you are. There's some nipple touching going on right now everybody.
• 25:17
  That was a little tweet, tweet right there. I, I, you have to admit, though, that putting that on was like, it was all spinner, but- It was fun. It was fun...
• 25:25
  there, there was a couple other bodies that jumped in and saved the day when- It was... Oh, yeah... on certain things, yeah. But it was- For as many riders as you guys had, it was extremely well organized.
• 25:33
  I felt totally, like, welcome. We had a blast. Um, except for Tyler throwing a, a, a Busch Light 70 feet in the air and it hitting me in the head. [laughs] I had a great time. Other than that, I had a wonderful time.
• 25:46
  Oh, we drank so much beer. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah. We drank, we drank the- We drank all the bars out of PBR basically. Yes. Yeah. We drank Decorah dry of PBR, which is like a major company.
• 25:53
  So the Elks, the Elks club was where- Yes... shit went crazy. Yeah. It was out of control. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the band helped. The band helped, and- Yeah... yeah, the trophy was out there. That was fun. Yeah.
• 26:02
  You know, we don't have PBR, but I believe we have Hamm's here. No. No. In cans. I like this. Very refreshing cans. I'm thinking Iowa light. Hamm's. Yeah, Iowa light kicks ass. No, Iowa light is...
• 26:12
  That's- Like, I can drink this all day. Yeah. But, but talk about Iowa light. Like- Okay... so- So, okay. So here, here's the, a sh- very short spiel.
• 26:21
  In Iowa, about 10% of the beer consumed is craft, what we call craft beer. 90% would be domestic. So that includes your Busch Light, Coors Light, Hamm's, all, all the other stuff. Hamm. The beer refresher. Man.
• 26:37
  And so what I said, I got really tired of people coming in here and being like, "Do you have Busch Light? Do you have Bud Light? Do you have this? Do you have that?" I'm like, "No." No.
• 26:45
  And so now what happens is I go, "You know what? I don't, but try this. This is Iowa light." And people love it. And- And I like the name, 'cause otherwise everybody else calls it a [laughs] hells, right?
• 26:55
  Um- Well, this is just a... So here's what you gotta understand about domestic beers, Busch Light, Bud Light, Coors Light. They're basically bastardized. They're barely beer. Beer, yeah.
• 27:06
  To get, to get them- [laughs] Yes... to get them light, what we have to do is we have to put other sugars in, dextrose or sucrose, dextrose being the primary.
• 27:14
  That's why Busch Light can put corn on their can, because all that sugar that they're using comes from corn. Oh. They don't put corn in there. Right. They put corn sugar in there.
• 27:24
  When you ferment corn sugar, like if you ferment, fermented pure corn sugar, it'd be just white liquid. It would basically be a seltzer.
• 27:32
  Um, if- So Busch Light is like, all those beers are like hybrids between a seltzer and a beer. I'm learning so much today.
• 27:41
  [laughs] And this is, it's nice because, like, I, I mean, you get to go into a brewery and- Usually when you go into a brewery- Ask, and ye shall receive...
• 27:46
  all right, we're used to Toppling Goliath and all that, and- Sure... like, it's all super high alcohol. And I'm like, "Okay, we got here at noon." Yeah, right. [laughs] I don't wanna have an 8% right off the bat. Right.
• 27:56
  So when I saw the Iowa light, I'm like, "Yeah, that's what I wanna start with." Dude, 4.2%, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. 4.2. It's good. You can drink this and not get hammered. Um, oh, we need- See people leaving?
• 28:05
  Not you. No, we, we, we need to switch- Not you... we need to switch a body in here. He's licking his fingers. I feel like, I feel like I'm getting a love you- I can, I can give this one up...
• 28:12
  and a, and a fuck you all at the same time. Jordan, do you want to... And then, and then switch with him. Yeah, no. All right, I'm switching out. Who's switching in?
• 28:15
  Are you gonna make it everyday cycles out of this, or just- Do you want in, do you want in, Greg? Sit, you want in? Uh. Question. Okay. Oh.
• 28:26
  I don't know, but I feel as, as long as you're here, I want to hear more about, like, the other rides that you have here. Oh, so we do- Like, outside of this one. So do we- 'Cause I feel like there's more...
• 28:34
  four major, uh- Tell us about it... annual rides. Yes. We do the, um... So let's start. So this was MayDay Mayhem. Yep. So it's a clunker race,
• 28:49
  and this celebrates the, the beginning of the mountain bike. We're talking San Francisco, Mount Tam, build your, build your bike, coaster brake shit, right? And I'm trying to get this thing to really stick. Take off.
• 29:03
  And, and then we should continue this on the other trails, this theme, because it's really cool to see the bikes that show up, right? And then, um, in the fall, in October, we have Fattober Festival.
• 29:15
  So this is a weekend event, um, where just everybody brings modern bikes, and we just take the weekend and camp, and just casually cruise bikes, and enjoy Mitchell County. Yeah. And then, right around Christmas time,
• 29:34
  we have a, a, a parade that goes through Osage, a, a winter Christmas parade, and we do a lighted bike ride where you wrap, uh, Christmas lights all over your fat tire bike, and it's a groomed, um, ride.
• 29:47
  And then we also ride in the parade- Oh, nice, nice... with our, with our bikes. All lit up. Yeah. And then one of my favorites is the Punxsutawney Peddler- [laughs]... at the beginning of February.
• 29:57
  That's a groomed ride. And, uh, it's an absolute shitshow. [laughs] I love that name. Yeah. Punxsutawney Peddler. Yeah. It's a shitshow. Um- I feel like that's my game. I'll be there...
• 30:07
  so it's either tight- pristine groom and it's like a racetrack or it's a slushy fucking shit show mess and people are like just started biking and they come out and they're like oh it's it's 38 degrees i'm gonna ride this is fun and then they're like you see them in the snow and they're looking at me like you guys are insane why would you yeah i'm done we've had we've had we've had people ride it and then not never ride again but if it's a nice winter and the groom is tight because we were really we've got groomers here we're doing double and single track groom grooming off the year if it's tight groom and it's racetrack everybody loses their mind right Can I just break in?
• 30:47
  What is this? What the fuck did I sign up for? Now you're pissed. That's terrible. They want to come back. Just interrupt you guys quickly. We've replaced Tony with the Tony – Infamous. The May Day Mayhem champion today.
• 30:58
  The champion. Woo! Adam Blake. Fatty Lumpkin. You still go by Fatty Lumpkin? John Blake. It's been a while. People know me. It's been a while. People know me. You kind of dumped that. It's been a while. Yeah.
• 31:09
  That was a Minneapolis thing, wasn't it? And previous first in in Iowa City too. Oh, really? Yeah. Pretty much with Gomez. Yeah.
• 31:17
  Once we figured out no one could be responsible for the stuff, but we needed a name to like attribute to it, everyone would say, you know, like, well, people just gave up on trying to pursue who the real culprit is when everyone says Fatty Lumpkin.
• 31:32
  That's not a real human, you know, but we had enough people on the same page that it just stuck for a long time. Cheers. And so – And there's a Kitty Lumpkin too. Well, I bestowed Kitty the Lumpkin name.
• 31:43
  Yeah, I have a lot of fondness for Kitty. The Lumpkin. So can we get to the real problem that we have both of you on here at the same time? Uh-oh. What happened? This race was rigged. Howdy, y'all.
• 31:55
  This is Chewy cutting in on this podcast from Austin, Texas. Down here pig sitting my son's pet pig.
• 32:04
  But we were listening to the podcast and decided it got a little bit long and it's too much fun to listen to all at once. So we're going to cut it in half.
• 32:13
  So with that, I'd like to thank you all for listening, first of all, to the first half and hope you enjoy the second half as much. Also, thank you to Derek and Tony for sitting in on this one.
• 32:24
  We got lots of information about the brewery, the race, the course down there, just general Osage stuff. And also it ends with a bit of a chat from Adam Blake. And we'll start the second one with more of that with Adam.
• 32:38
  So I hope you enjoyed the first half and come back and listen to the second half. Chewy out.