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Beek on being EMPOWERED · Beek on being

0:00
Melissa Shere Beek: Hi. I hope you are well. This podcast is a place for people to share personal and professional perspectives, talk openly, and ask questions. From serious to silly to sublime, it's all about communication and connection. Always coming from a place of kindness and curiosity, we talk about shared humanity, discuss ideas, and highlight people creating a better world.
0:23
We've got to keep learning, keep growing, keep being. I'm Melissa Beak, and this is Beek on Being. Today's episode is Beek on Being Empowered. Being empowered is to have the knowledge, confidence, means, or ability to do things or make decisions for oneself. But what if you're feeling less than confident?
0:42
What if you're stuck in a place of fear because it's familiar, though not beneficial? What if you want personal change or desire a new direction? Today, we have empowerment coach Jennifer Warren Medwin here to help us motivate and take action without hesitation. Today, she will educate us on how to navigate through life's transitions. So, Jennifer, please tell us a little bit about yourself.
1:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: First of all, thank you for having me.
1:07
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, I'm so excited.
1:09
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, I'm an empowerment coach and I help individuals really figure out where they wanna go and how I can help them get there. You know, in life, we always have just two choices. We're either victims of the situation or we're creators of the situation. And so often, because of small t or big t traumas that we experience, we stay comfortable in the uncomfortable zone and we don't move from there because we have tremendous amount of fear. And there's an acronym for fear that I love, which is Feel Everything and Rise, f e a r.
1:53
Melissa Shere Beek: Good one.
1:54
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And my whole platform is about how we rise from where we are to where we wanna be.
2:01
Melissa Shere Beek: How did you become an empowerment coach?
2:04
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, for the past twelve years, I've been studying different facets of personal growth. And I became a certified divorce coach, a Supreme Court family mediator. I am a somatic practitioner helping people through trauma, and I've just been a lifelong learner. Love I love to read. People make fun of me.
2:28
I have a stack of books by my bed. Fact, I just ordered You're good? Yeah. I just ordered from Amazon two books on change and when I first got them, I thought, they sent me two, two of the same thing, but they're two different books on change.
2:43
Melissa Shere Beek: Love it.
2:43
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And just really, you know, talking to people. I've had my practice for ten years and have gone through my own small t and big t traumas.
2:55
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it. And is what's the difference between coaching and therapy, or is there an overlap?
3:00
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So that's a great question, and I like to provide my clients with visuals. So I'm gonna just tell you the difference. If you were to see somebody holding a suitcase, the therapist would ask that person, you know, I see you have a suitcase, can you please open it and tell me why you brought everything in this suitcase? As a coach, I look at that suitcase and I say, I see you you're going somewhere. How can I help you get there?
3:26
Melissa Shere Beek: Got
3:26
Jennifer Warren Medwin: it. It's very forward focused. We meet right where you are and we take those brave bites forward Mhmm. To accomplish what it is that you want.
3:37
Melissa Shere Beek: Is there a certain I'm not going to say I don't know, but is there a common denominator that people reach out to you for? People Or it's across the board? Sorry.
3:48
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Well, no, no, no. That's a good point. For much of my practice, I dealt with people who are going through family transitions, whether that's marital mediation people or having issues in their marriages or their partnerships and really wanted to put either divorce or a breakup on the bookshelf, dealing with co parenting issues or just divorce in general. However, in the past several years, I've been leaning towards even more transition, personal growth transitions, people who are, you know, looking for a new job, moms who are experiencing their children go off to college for the first time, I call them bird launchers.
4:33
Melissa Shere Beek: I love that.
4:33
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Because words matter, how we talk to ourselves, you know, our private huddles really, really do matter. And so, I just deal with people who feel stuck and want to develop the clarity and confidence to move forward.
4:48
Melissa Shere Beek: How do you encourage those people to move forward? Like, how do you get them to take action? Especially when you were talking about people who are living in a comfortable place out of fear because it's familiar to them. So the unknown is more frightening than staying in an unhealthy situation. So how do you encourage them to take that sort of first step or that action?
5:09
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, that's an interesting question. And I always say to my clients, you know, by virtue of calling me or contacting me, you have an awareness that you're in a place where you feel stuck. And that is one third of the way through change.
5:27
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, that's the first step, I guess.
5:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right. There's something that I call the three A's of change. And awareness is just that. So when they come to me, they've already taken that step. Now we need to work on acknowledgment as the second A.
5:40
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
5:40
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? Where are you responsible for where you are now?
5:44
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Accountability.
5:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. And accountability is often very difficult. Whether it's difficult because, you know, you just don't see it or you don't want to take responsibility. And then the last day is action, right? And the way we develop clarity and the way we develop confidence is through action.
6:06
Right. Really, and helping them take those Brave Bites forward where we work on different strategies and techniques and and practice makes better.
6:16
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Tell me a little bit more because you mentioned Brave Bites. Tell me a little bit more about Brave Bites.
6:21
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, like I said to you earlier, I truly believe that the words we use both in our inner dialogue
6:28
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
6:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And the way we express ourselves to others either empower us or disempower us. True. And so, Brave Bites Forward, I'm actually waiting for the trademark to come in any day now, is a way of pushing us forward that encourages bravery, encourages this forward action, right? And so, it is the title of my program, my framework, I, you know, teach to my clients, it's based on something called the Impact Method, our framework for transformation.
7:08
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. And is it small little Brave Bites forward, like just encouraging tiny movements forward?
7:15
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, it is about shifting in small ways, but in larger elements, meaning that it's it's taking those micro steps forward.
7:29
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
7:30
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And that creates momentum.
7:33
Melissa Shere Beek: And we're talking about micro steps forward with perspective, internal dialogue, action, all the above?
7:39
Jennifer Warren Medwin: With all the above. It's about, you know, here's the thing, studies show that most people spend their time either rehashing the past or forecasting the future.
7:49
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
7:49
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And the only place that we have control is right here in the present moment. Yeah. In this present moment, what strategies and techniques can I use to help move me forward? And that's what the Impact Method is about. You know, I find that in the journey of transformation, if we know what the stepping stones are, right?
8:11
They're not linear, they're fluid. But if we know them, it's easier to get from point A to point B.
8:19
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, some sort of guideline.
8:20
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yeah. Like I look at like a river. You know, there are two banks, right? On one bank is where you're standing in an uncertainty, right? And the river is changing all of the time, right?
8:34
And it's about how you're going to get from uncertainty to transformation.
8:38
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it.
8:39
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And the way I look at it is it's through those five stepping stones, Right? And and those are, you know, intentional awareness. Right? How aware are you of your contribution to where you where you where you are? How aware of you of where you want to go?
8:55
Right. Right? And then your Oh, mindset
8:57
Melissa Shere Beek: this is all the impact model. Yes. I wanna talk to you about this. So wait, before we get into the impact model because I'm very excited, how did you come up with this model?
9:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So honestly, it's through I've been coaching now for over a decade, and I started to notice certain elements that were always part of transformation. And again, I like to work in mnemonic phrases, I like to use visuals, and this framework came to me by understanding the components of transformation, what was needed in order to transform to help change where you are to where you wanna be.
9:36
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm. And
9:38
Jennifer Warren Medwin: then it was I was playing with the the the beginning letters and all of a sudden, it it just came to me, impact. And and that's really what I wanna create is an impact. I'd love to, you know, I love to create a community of learners Mhmm. And to help people navigate their own experiences, good, bad, or indifferent.
10:01
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. No. I think it's I've heard I can't wait to get to every letter of impact in the whole thing, but I think it's a great model that you put together as far as a guideline and also, a sense of security for people who are, like you said, when you're dealing looking at that river, and the only thing that's ever constant is change. So navigating that change, if you have this sort of spine outline for them to follow, but to have the flexibility in which to do it is incredible. Okay.
10:29
So to break down all of five critical steps of impact.
10:34
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So I call them the stepping stones.
10:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
10:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Five stepping stones of transformation. And the first one is personal awareness. Right? Like, aware are you of your responsibility for where you are right now? Right.
10:47
How aware are you of being in the present moment?
10:50
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
10:51
Jennifer Warren Medwin: How aware are you of where you want to go? Right? And learning how to be present is a skill that many of us lack because we are human doers. There's a reason why we are called human beings. We don't spend enough time being, being in stillness, asking ourselves questions in those private huddles, right?
11:17
And so, personal awareness skills is so important to transformation.
11:25
Melissa Shere Beek: And in an internal dialogue too because that's the longest, largest, and greatest conversation we're ever gonna have is with ourself.
11:32
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And that's why I call that the private huddle.
11:34
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. I like that. I like that. And and also so in in intentional awareness, it's not just inner dialogue, but you conscious choices.
11:45
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. So making decisions, you know, often we are so reactive. We don't respond. Right. There's a formula that I use all the time.
11:57
It's called a success formula. I didn't develop it, but I love it. It's E plus R equals O. E is the event.
12:05
Melissa Shere Beek: R
12:06
Jennifer Warren Medwin: is how you respond to it. And O is the outcome.
12:09
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
12:10
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So in any situation, the only control we have is in the R and how we
12:16
Melissa Shere Beek: respond. How we respond, yeah.
12:17
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? As human beings, we're so busy reacting impulsively to what is happening to us that we're really creating more turmoil.
12:30
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
12:31
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? We need to learn how to slow down.
12:33
Melissa Shere Beek: Right, take a breath.
12:35
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Take a breath.
12:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Process.
12:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You know, Jefferson Fisher, he's an attorney and I absolutely love him. He says the first word out of our mouths should be our breath. You know, the breath is something that is always waiting patiently for us.
12:52
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. Do you find with your clients over time over the last ten decades that it's more difficult for them now because of all of the technology and social media stuff and that sort of dopamine hit that people get that they're not really in tuned or making conscious choices. Like you said, they're more reactive instead of taking that breath before they respond. Has it gotten more difficult
13:14
Jennifer Warren Medwin: for you? I think it it it really depends on the person. It does create a lot of static. Mhmm. Right?
13:21
Yeah. And it's just another way of us almost neglecting what it is that we really need to focus on.
13:29
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. Sort of avoid avoidance or procrastination. That's right. Okay. So the second
13:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's in mind mindset.
13:37
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Tell us a little bit more.
13:38
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And it really is goes back to the choice point I was initially talking to you about, which is, you know, are we gonna allow ourselves to be victimized by a situation or are we gonna look for ways to create something more of what we want? And that's not to say that we don't feel whatever it is that that our inner whispers are
14:03
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Expressing Feelings are valid.
14:04
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Feelings are valid. And you in order to heal, you need to feel. Right. Because whatever you resist will persist.
14:12
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, it's gonna keep coming back into Just your gonna
14:14
Jennifer Warren Medwin: keep coming back. And so, do you, you know, do you have that growth mindset or that scarcity mindset? And listen, if you have if you're prone to have that scarcity mindset based on whatever you've experienced in your life, that's okay. We can learn how to have a growth mindset. It's about being present.
14:40
It's that about that awareness and willingness.
14:44
Melissa Shere Beek: So how do you get someone who's in that scared mindset to move from that place to a growth mindset?
14:51
Jennifer Warren Medwin: First of all, developing the awareness that they do it, right? Catching yourself in that inner dialogue, in that private huddle, right? And really working towards creating specific times during the day where you're going to reinforce that growth mindset. So, for example, with several of my clients, we set an alarm clock three times a day, right? And when that alarm clock goes off, we take a deep breath and we say something positive to ourselves or we set an intention, a positive growth intention, right, so that things can become a habit.
15:31
And creating the habit takes time.
15:33
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
15:34
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? But if we keep doing it consistently, it shows up more in our subconscious.
15:40
Melissa Shere Beek: Right, we're thinking about it more, So, we're trying analyze it when they have this sort of goal Mhmm. And they I love that you set this alarm clock three times a day to do it, and they write down a prompt, let's say, for themselves for a goal, how do they move from that mindset to action?
15:59
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So Oh,
16:00
Melissa Shere Beek: did I skip steps?
16:01
Jennifer Warren Medwin: No, yes. Yes. And, you know, that's typical because we all want that quick fix.
16:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. I mean, because they have to look through a different lens in order to shift from being scared to growing. So how okay, we set the alarm clock, we set the intention, we're changing our mindset, creating new habit, what's next?
16:24
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Okay, I'm gonna tell you what's next after I
16:27
Melissa Shere Beek: Correct me.
16:27
Jennifer Warren Medwin: No, not correct you, but you said they have to.
16:30
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
16:31
Jennifer Warren Medwin: No. There's a big difference between having to and wanting to.
16:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it. Desire.
16:37
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And desire breeds forward motion, When you want something I always say, you're motivated, I always say, you know, if you don't believe me, look at yourself in the mirror at night or whenever and say, I have to do something, whatever that thing is, or I want to do it. You will feel your
17:03
Melissa Shere Beek: energy The difference already.
17:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You will feel your energy shift. Yeah. And it's it's becoming aware again of the vocabulary used to either propel you forward or or keep you stuck.
17:16
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. One sounds like a task It is. That I have to do. Mhmm. And the other one sounds like, oh, yeah.
17:22
I'm encouraged. I want to do that.
17:24
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. And that you get to
17:25
Melissa Shere Beek: I heard do that now that after you said that, I like that. Okay.
17:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And it's, you know, it's through experience, right? I can offer so many different strategies. Different people resonate with different ones.
17:39
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
17:39
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And it's important to practice them and see how you feel intuitively and and and whether it resonates with you and and it empowers you.
17:47
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. And something you can actually do.
17:50
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mhmm. Something else that is very easy to do is habit stacking.
17:54
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm. You
17:55
Jennifer Warren Medwin: familiar with habits No. Tell me about that. I love habit stacking. Okay. So, for example, if I have somebody I just did it this morning with a client.
18:07
She's having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. And not because she's depressed, it's just it's hard for her to get out from the bed in the morning. She has some, you know, other things going on. And so this morning, we talked about when that alarm goes off, no snoozing. And what I want you to stack to that habit, because setting the alarm is a habit, is turning the light on next to your your thing.
18:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
18:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So you have to turn off the alarm and that light immediately goes on. That's stacking a habit and creating something that's going to propel you forward. The lights are going to go on and you're going to start to wake up. Another example is brushing your teeth at night or in the morning. That's a habit.
18:54
People don't think about it as a habit, but it is a habit. And if somebody is having a difficult time, let's say, with self care,
19:02
Melissa Shere Beek: we
19:03
Jennifer Warren Medwin: set we during the time that they're brushing their teeth, they set an intention for the morning, right? Something that they're going to do for themselves. Like, Today, I'm gonna spend thirty minutes going for a walk. I'm not gonna make it to the gym, but I'm gonna go for a walk. And then at night, we stack another habit called the GLAD technique, which is very helpful.
19:28
It stands for one thing I'm grateful for, one thing I learned during the day, one thing I acknowledge about myself, and one thing that I that delighted me.
19:39
Melissa Shere Beek: I like this.
19:40
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It takes one minute and none of us or very few of us take the time to really acknowledge ourselves, to think about what we've learned, to think about what gave us joy during the day.
19:55
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. We're so used to giving that to other people, we're just not doing it at all. But we're That's not showing ourselves the same grace.
20:02
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And you know where it all stems from?
20:04
Melissa Shere Beek: Where?
20:06
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Inside of us. Yeah. We're all so busy. You know, we're great at acknowledging other people. Right.
20:12
We're great at, you know, showing gratitude for other people.
20:15
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
20:16
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And yet, we don't take the time for ourselves.
20:18
Melissa Shere Beek: To acknowledge ourselves.
20:20
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. I and I Tell me again, glad.
20:22
Melissa Shere Beek: Glad. Gratitude.
20:24
Jennifer Warren Medwin: One thing you're grateful for, one thing you learned during the day
20:27
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
20:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: One thing that you acknowledge about yourself
20:31
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it.
20:32
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And one thing that delighted you.
20:33
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, good. I like
20:34
Jennifer Warren Medwin: this.
20:34
Melissa Shere Beek: Yep. I'm writing
20:35
Jennifer Warren Medwin: this it's great. And studies show that if you do this before bed, you actually sleep more deeply and you have more positive energy.
20:45
Melissa Shere Beek: I like it.
20:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right?
20:47
Melissa Shere Beek: I like it a lot.
20:47
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Because you're scanning for positivity.
20:50
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. But you're yeah. And you're scanning for positivity, and then you're also making that imprint in your brain. Exactly. So that's I like that because it's a stacked habit.
20:58
So now if you continue to do that, you're always looking for a more positive outlook.
21:04
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right. Which are you know what those are called?
21:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Tell me.
21:07
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Those are called glimmers.
21:08
Melissa Shere Beek: I like a glimmer.
21:09
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Glimmers are opposite of
21:10
Melissa Shere Beek: triggers. Yeah.
21:11
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And I like how great would it be, you know, as human beings, we all suffer from this. More of our thoughts are negative than they are positive.
21:20
Melissa Shere Beek: Sure.
21:20
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And so when you are intentional Mhmm. When you have this awareness that your goal is more positivity Mhmm. Then you're you're apt to look for the glimmers more often.
21:31
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Yes. Mhmm. Always.
21:33
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mhmm.
21:33
Melissa Shere Beek: Not only externally, but internally as well.
21:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And the internal is where it's most important. Right. Because in the word, like, I think I mentioned to the this to you before, in the word empower
21:44
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
21:45
Jennifer Warren Medwin: The first two letters are e m. Mhmm. And when you turn them around, it the word is me. Me. And that's where your power is.
21:54
Right? That's where, like I said, confidence comes from and clarity.
22:00
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. And I think it's a learned habit too because I think a lot of people have either sort of diminished their ability to do that or look at themselves in that way, but I think it's a muscle that we all have to use. Okay.
22:12
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yeah, I think that also growing up when we grew up, really taking care of yourself
22:17
Melissa Shere Beek: was
22:19
Jennifer Warren Medwin: not seen as a positive attribute. It was considered very selfish. And so it's about, you know, that mindset, reworking that mindset and having the willingness.
22:33
Melissa Shere Beek: And self care is critical. It's important. It's very important. Mental and physical and emotional health depend on it. Mhmm.
22:38
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Very important.
22:39
Melissa Shere Beek: And if you're not gonna take care of yourself, who is?
22:41
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. That's why they say put your mask on first.
22:44
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Yeah. That's so true. Yes. But it's it's true if you think about it because if you don't take care of yourself and you have children or family members or nieces, nephews, or other people, and they emulate you or they look to you as a mentor, then you're not providing a good example for them if you're not doing it right for yourself.
23:01
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And there's a great saying, and I and I teach this in my co parenting class, behaviors are not only taught, they're also caught.
23:09
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. Right. Because children don't always listen to what you say, but they absolutely watch what you do.
23:15
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right.
23:15
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
23:16
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. And so do your friends Yeah. And so do, you know, your coworkers. Yeah. And so it's it's really important.
23:24
It's very important. It's It's impactful. That's right.
23:26
Melissa Shere Beek: Alright. So after motivation
23:29
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mindset.
23:29
Melissa Shere Beek: Mindset.
23:30
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mindset. Sorry. Requires motivation. Right. It does.
23:33
It is personal power.
23:34
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Right. Talk to us about personal power.
23:37
Jennifer Warren Medwin: How do you stand in your truth?
23:38
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
23:39
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Truth is a really big element for me. And, you know, we're all like snowflakes. None of us are the same.
23:47
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
23:47
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And what what how do you want to stand in your beliefs and your values? Do you know what your values are?
23:57
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
23:58
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You know, so many times clients will come in and we'll talk about the importance of values. And they can spit out a few of them. But, you know, if you know your core values, you it's a great way to help you move forward. And here's something that I teach. Are you moving towards your value of, let's say, truth or away from it?
24:25
Right? It's about that. Again, going back to that private huddle. How are you empowering yourself?
24:30
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
24:31
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Are you just walking aimlessly through life, or are you questioning your brave bites forward?
24:37
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
24:38
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right?
24:38
Melissa Shere Beek: Why am I taking this path? Why am I choosing this?
24:41
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yes. Or, you know, is this going towards my value of connection? Like, if you're having an argument with somebody and your value, one of your core values, let's say, I think we have four to five core values.
24:54
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
24:55
Jennifer Warren Medwin: If one of them is connection, if you're arguing with that person, are you asking yourself, am I moving towards connection or away from connection?
25:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
25:06
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And the answer to that is if you're if you're really having an argument with someone, you're not moving towards your value And and so, you can hold yourself to a certain standard.
25:17
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Right? So, we're talking about self trust, confidence.
25:21
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Compassion for yourself, giving yourself the gift of grace, knowing that life happens in a spectrum, nothing is It's always and fluid.
25:33
Melissa Shere Beek: It's all fluid. Yeah. But what happens when you have a client who doesn't have that confidence and sort of gets stuck with this personal power thing?
25:42
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Then we work on various strategies to build that muscle. You know, I always say, when you go to the gym for the first time and you start lifting weights, you probably get a callus or a blister. And then, you know, if you keep on doing it, you get stronger and that callus or that bliss doesn't hurt as much, So, you have to start with the belief that change is possible.
26:09
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
26:09
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? That I can evolve. Just because I am who I am today doesn't mean I I can't work on can't have very, you know, layers. Like I say, I'm in chapter 56 of my life. I'm 56 years old.
26:25
I'm in chapter seven because it's the seventh month since my birthday.
26:31
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
26:32
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And today is the fifth. So I'm on the fifth page of that chapter. And I'm a sum of everything I've been through, good, bad, or indifferent. And today, today is a tabula rasa. I get to write my story.
26:45
Melissa Shere Beek: Sure.
26:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And believing that just because something always was, that it will always be Yeah. Is a setup. Right. Right?
26:54
Melissa Shere Beek: It's setup for failure.
26:57
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yes. And the way I look at it is all setups are opportunities for comebacks.
27:01
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. That's true. That's true. Oh, like that. Okay.
27:06
Now, after?
27:08
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Personal after personal power comes adaptability.
27:11
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
27:11
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? So many times, I'll have clients who they come in in their seventies or eighties and they're like, I'm 80 and I'm not changing.
27:22
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
27:22
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? I know these people. Done it this way my whole life and I'm not changing. And my question would be then, why are you here?
27:31
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
27:31
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? You're here because you're struggling with something, right? And so, the ability to change, the ability to see adaptability as a superpower
27:45
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, sure.
27:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Is so important.
27:47
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
27:47
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And I believe we're growing and learning until the day we take our last breath.
27:52
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, we are. Everything, you said it before about our past experiences, that makes us who we are. So each one of those is a learning point.
27:58
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. Each you know, and one of the quotes that I love is there are messages in every mess.
28:07
Melissa Shere Beek: I like that.
28:08
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And in message there are two words, mess and age. Right? And how you look back on things as you age is different than perhaps how you looked at them when you were going through them,
28:22
Melissa Shere Beek: Sure, perspective is everything.
28:24
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Perspective is everything. And so, being adaptable, negotiating your differences, understanding that, for example, if your value is connection, right, you may not agree. And because two things can exist at the same time, it's the end mindset. How do I move towards my value of connection?
28:47
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
28:48
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Okay? And what could I do to understand his or her point?
28:55
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Flexibility.
28:57
Jennifer Warren Medwin: While still sticking to my value and and understanding that how do we move forward is the goal in a positive way. How do we move past this?
29:07
Melissa Shere Beek: So, how do you how do you help take those challenges and make them opportunities for your clients?
29:13
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, it depends on what they are. So, it could be that the first thing that comes to mind is intimacy, right? Because I was dealing with another couple yesterday. So, intimacy, you know, people have different times that they want physical intimacy and it can't always be, for example, in the evening, If the other person is more of a morning person, so establishing an agreement that intimacy is important,
29:54
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
29:54
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And so, how do we negotiate our differences? So, it really starts with sort of habit stacking and creating a habit that, okay, if intimacy takes place, let's say, three times a week, at least one of those times we have to make the concerted effort that it's in the morning. Right. It may not be what the other person really wants, but if the value is connection.
30:22
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
30:23
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right?
30:24
Melissa Shere Beek: The goal is the same.
30:25
Jennifer Warren Medwin: The goal has to be, you know, has to be the same.
30:28
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
30:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And so really understanding flexibility is an essential key to being human.
30:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. Right? I think you have to be. It's hard. Oh, think it's constant practice, habit stacking, all those things that you said.
30:43
It's repetition.
30:44
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right. But and and that's where personal, you know, like, just intentional awareness
30:50
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
30:50
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Is is so important. Yeah. Right? Because, again, we're so busy reacting. Right.
30:57
And what I am encouraging my clients and myself is to really take that breath before
31:04
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, yeah. I respond. The pause. Mhmm. Absolutely.
31:07
Okay. So we have intentional awareness, mindset, personal power, adaptability, so then the next one?
31:15
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Is community. Okay. It's one of my favorites.
31:18
Melissa Shere Beek: Tell us about community.
31:21
Jennifer Warren Medwin: A resourced person is essential for transformation.
31:26
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it.
31:26
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And that's not to say, you know, for example, when I find myself really upset, I retreat.
31:34
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
31:35
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Okay? And that's okay to a point. Right. And then, in order to grow, in order to flourish, in order to water my own seed, it's important to reach out.
31:50
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
31:50
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Whether you're reaching out to friends, you're reaching out to your priest or your rabbi or your mentor, another coworker, being in community is essential. We didn't come into this world to be isolated.
32:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
32:07
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And you grow through communication Oh,
32:10
Melissa Shere Beek: sure.
32:11
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And community. And so, out lots of times I'll have clients, particularly if they're going through a divorce. They'll come in and they'll be like, I don't wanna talk to anybody. Right. I'm embarrassed.
32:26
I don't know what my life means right now. Right. I just wanna be by myself. And that's okay for a period.
32:36
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. A processing time.
32:37
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And then we need to take those brave bites forward. Right?
32:41
Melissa Shere Beek: So how do you encourage someone like that to find their social network, especially like you're talking in the case of divorce? Mhmm. So they already had a built in community. They had their support system. So now that they're navigating alone in these waters, how do you encourage them to find that sort of social network or support system for themselves?
33:02
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Well, first of all, we're never alone. We are always constantly with our best friend, which is ourselves. Ourself, right? John Kappat Zinn in Mindfulness Meditation, he wrote a book, Wherever You Go, There You Are. And that is so true, right?
33:19
And so, beyond being with ourselves and really paying attention to what our inner dialogue is, you know, going through a divorce may be difficult and because two things can exist at the same time, it could be the greatest gift.
33:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. The best blessing.
33:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And and it's so it comes down to really understanding what is your mindset. No one wants to really be miserable.
33:45
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
33:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And so, to them, who who are your friends? Who are your outlets? What do you like to do? Will you be willing to even go on a Zoom? Can you read, you know, can you listen to a podcast?
34:00
Can you go for a mindful walk for five minutes? Can you do the Mel Robbins five, four, three, two, one and and do something different? Then you've, you know, really encouraging them to take that Brave Bite forward.
34:15
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
34:15
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right?
34:15
Melissa Shere Beek: To have that momentum.
34:16
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And to hold them accountable. Right. Right? Accountability is really important. So, for example, I had a client who needed to make a doctor's appointment and he'd been putting it off, putting it off.
34:29
And so, holding him accountable as his coach was like, okay, you're leaving here at 12:00. Do you think you can make that phone call by 05:00? Yes. 05:00, I want you to text me and let me know you've made that
34:42
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm. Phone
34:44
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? We all need accountability partners.
34:46
Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. Sure.
34:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: We we do. And we shy away from that, And, you know, having people who care about us, who help propel us forward is imperative for transformation.
34:59
Melissa Shere Beek: I think so. I think so. I think you need people to hold you accountable, exactly what you said. Mhmm. Not just accountability for yourself, but someone else to say, hey, and hold a mirror to that.
35:09
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And, again, the word need. Yes, it's something, you know, human nature to want to be surrounded by others, but it stems from the belief that it's going to help. It's beneficial. It's right? And so when you want to do something, you usually do it.
35:33
Right. Maybe at a slower pace. And again, momentum is not about rushing.
35:38
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. And there's no time limit on it. No. It's the desire to want to make it happen or to do.
35:43
Jennifer Warren Medwin: But we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, you know, to, you know, grief. Well, how long are you gonna grieve? Well, you're gonna grieve as long as it takes you until you finally figure out your own type of momentum, right? And grief is not linear, it's very fluid. So are the stepping stones in the Impact Method.
36:04
But to be thinking about the five stepping stones and and really asking yourself, am I am I having a positive mindset? Or am I or am I in a scarcity mindset? Right. And not to judge yourself. There's something there's a great acronym by Doctor.
36:22
Russell, and he talks about how human beings are constantly taking jabs at themselves. J A B S. Yeah. We're constantly judging ourselves, J, abandoning ourselves, A, blaming ourselves, B and shaming ourselves. Shaming ourselves.
36:38
Melissa Shere Beek: Why are we wired to do that?
36:40
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You know, maybe it's a protective mechanism, you know, stemming from, you know, a long time ago. And it, you know, it doesn't even matter for me why. What matters is that we're aware of it and we reframe it.
36:58
Melissa Shere Beek: Got
36:58
Jennifer Warren Medwin: it. And that's one of the things I work on with my clients, like, okay, yes, I just had that stinking thinking.
37:05
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. I
37:06
Jennifer Warren Medwin: like it thinking. See myself, you know, I hear myself internally judging myself.
37:12
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
37:13
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And then my something I ask myself and I teach my clients is, is that helpful or her fault thinking?
37:18
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Yeah.
37:19
Jennifer Warren Medwin: If it's not helpful, which it's not helpful, doesn't propel you forward, right, then how do I reframe that? So, no judging, no banning, no blaming, shaming. You may think that way, like, and then it's what you do with that thought.
37:35
Melissa Shere Beek: Right, the action.
37:36
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right, we're not we're not the thought. Right. But sometimes we get in the car with that thought and we start driving and we're driving and we're driving and then, you know, then we've totally changed the energy in our body, right? Which, you know, somatically I also work with clients.
37:54
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
37:54
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You know, soma is your body and I do believe that small T and big T traumas are stored in various parts of your Like for me, in my solar plex, you know, I experience tension and pressure and so I teach a lot of felt sense techniques to help my clients move through those
38:16
Melissa Shere Beek: Tell us more about that.
38:18
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So felt sense is, you know, really basically touching yourself, right? And helping yourself know that you're in the window of tolerance, safety. How do you tell your body that your thoughts may be negative or may be in a state of fear, but in this particular moment, you're safe.
38:40
Melissa Shere Beek: You're safe.
38:41
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You're safe. So one thing I teach is a conversational breath while also putting one hand on your heart and one hand on belly. And a conversational breath is when, for example, you inhale for the count of two and you exhale for the count of four. But however many times you inhale. So if you inhale for four, you exhale for eight.
39:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Double it.
39:06
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Why we do that is, you know, you're you're releasing the carbon dioxide. Mhmm. Listening to yourself breathe creates vibrations in your body Sure. That helps bring you back into your window of tolerance where
39:20
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
39:21
Jennifer Warren Medwin: When you're in your window of tolerance, you're less likely to have what I call basement thinking, which is impulsive thinking. Instead, it brings you to the penthouse thinking.
39:34
Melissa Shere Beek: I like penthouse thinking.
39:35
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I love penthouse thinking. You can see a lot from the penthouse, right? It's very clear and, you know, that's where, you know, you're you're not hijacked. Right. You're not frozen.
39:46
You're not people pleasing. Panicked. You're not you're you can your prefrontal cortex is open, and you can really be thinking about not just the problem, but how to solve the problem. Right.
39:58
Melissa Shere Beek: I like that. And because the breathing, when you're talking about soma in the body, if you can bring the temperature of that down, your blood pressure and all of that, and you can get the physical to calm down, you can get the mental to calm down.
40:12
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right.
40:13
Melissa Shere Beek: So
40:13
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And, you know, when you're breathing
40:16
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
40:17
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And you're listening to your own breath, you cannot listen to like, think mean, listen to your thoughts.
40:25
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. You can't concentrate on your thoughts.
40:27
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's just not that you can't, like, you're not allowed. You just can't.
40:31
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. Because you're focusing on breath.
40:32
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You're focusing on breath. And when you breathe and you listen to the sound of your breath Mhmm. You're creating little vibrations in your body. It's like humming. Right?
40:44
And the humming actually calms you down.
40:47
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
40:48
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So it's so important, and most people don't breathe properly.
40:52
Melissa Shere Beek: I have met very few people who understand breath work. So, I agreed. Okay. So, that's community. And then the last one?
41:02
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Is transformation, that leads to transformation. You know? And again, it's not a linear process. Right. You know, you wanna, you know, when you're going through a pivotal moment or a transition in your life, if you could just choose to be the creator and pick one stepping stone, like one that resonates with you, like community.
41:28
Okay. What can I do to be a resource person?
41:32
Melissa Shere Beek: Got
41:32
Jennifer Warren Medwin: it. Where might I go that would help me or uplift my spirits?
41:37
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
41:37
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And really then start to take those brave bites forward. You know, I say frequently, like, and you know the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you
41:47
Melissa Shere Beek: can't make drink, yeah. Right?
41:49
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I can't make any of my clients do anything. That's not my job. My job is to help provide strategies Mhmm. For them to try on
42:01
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
42:01
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And see if they create a momentum. And by the way, once you feel that momentum
42:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
42:07
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You want more.
42:08
Melissa Shere Beek: Sure. It's a snowball effect.
42:09
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. And when you know better, you do better.
42:11
Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. A 100%.
42:13
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And that's the truth.
42:13
Melissa Shere Beek: A 100%. So it's aligning their actions and their beliefs. Mhmm. Okay.
42:19
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yes. And being aware of them. Right. Like, what that's why I think it's so important in the beginning stages when I'm working with clients is to really hone in on the four or five values that they really hold near and dear. They're all different There are value assessments online that you
42:35
Melissa Shere Beek: can Oh, for seeing those. Everybody has different ones.
42:39
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You know, but a lot of people don't take the time to do them. Yeah. Right? We're in that we're in the habit of complaining and not in the habit of creating.
42:49
Melissa Shere Beek: Doing, and creating. Doing, yes. So, how does one maintain this transformation? Is it again a flexibility, fluid sort of situation where some days it's just not going to happen and we're just going to encourage ourselves again to try each morning when we wake up to continue the transformation?
43:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's an awareness.
43:06
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay.
43:07
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's really asking yourself the hard questions, right? Is what I'm doing right now helpful or hurtful?
43:16
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
43:17
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Is what I'm doing leading me towards or away my value of connection?
43:22
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
43:23
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's really going back to am I being my own best friend?
43:27
Melissa Shere Beek: True.
43:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? Right. How am I helping myself? You know, I'm sure you've had moments in your life where you're struggling, right? And you could have your mom or your best friend or whomever is someone who brings you so much comfort.
43:45
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
43:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And having them there is does alleviate some something. But unless you really internalize, unless you're really doing the work
43:57
Melissa Shere Beek: For yourself. It's not happening.
44:00
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's not leading to transformation. Not leading to transformation.
44:03
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. No one's doing it for you.
44:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: No one is doing it for You can have a lot of people who love you Mhmm. And wanna protect you.
44:10
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
44:11
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And when you put your head on that
44:12
Melissa Shere Beek: But they pillow can't and do it for you.
44:14
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Wherever you go, there you are. Yeah.
44:17
Melissa Shere Beek: Right? That's right.
44:18
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And I really believe that having this framework helps people with that internal dialogue. Like, what is my mindset today? Am I am I, you know, really focusing on awareness? Right. You know, am I standing in my own personal power?
44:36
Or am I just trying to be like somebody else?
44:39
Melissa Shere Beek: Or just trying to get through without even thinking about intentions or awareness.
44:43
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yeah.
44:43
Melissa Shere Beek: So, what are there, like, are there tune ups or tools or tips we can give our listeners?
44:51
Jennifer Warren Medwin: In terms of?
44:52
Melissa Shere Beek: Of motivating themselves.
44:54
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Well, I said earlier, I really I I follow Mel Robbins. I like a lot of her techniques. The five, four, three, two, one, I find very helpful. I I hear it in my head and I and I do it quite often. What other strategies can I think of that that are very helpful for people?
45:16
Melissa Shere Beek: To find you.
45:18
Jennifer Warren Medwin: To find me. You're putting me on the spot here. I really believe that struggle is essential, right? And it's when we're struggling that we have the most opportune time to grow.
45:44
Melissa Shere Beek: I think it's a forced learning tool, like a forced learning moment. And I think, and I've tried to say this even when I'm in the shittiest of moments and I keep thinking, okay, things are not forever. Everything is changing. This moment will pass, too. I've been through harder struggles before.
46:05
I will get through this one, too, and I try to remind myself to breathe through it and to have patience and think of it as, okay, I'll look back at this, and this will be a teachable moment for me, a learning experience. And then I'll take from that and grow from that so that when I hit a rough patch on something else going forward, I'll have a moment and say, ah, okay. I learned this the last time. I'm gonna apply this
46:30
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right.
46:31
Melissa Shere Beek: That time.
46:31
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's right. And that's about awareness. Right? And and I heard you say, you know, try, the word try. Mhmm.
46:37
So, again, in terms of vocabulary, when my clients come in, we we start making lists of empowering and disempowering words.
46:46
Melissa Shere Beek: So Oh, I like
46:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: this. If you if you were to take that word try and replace it with commit.
46:51
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay, I like that.
46:52
Jennifer Warren Medwin: When you commit to doing something,
46:54
Melissa Shere Beek: you
46:56
Jennifer Warren Medwin: can feel it energetically that it actually
46:58
Melissa Shere Beek: Right, it's not an attempt, it's purposeful. We're gonna make it happen.
47:01
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right, right. Or sometimes people will say to me, you know, everybody keeps telling me to move on, to move on. For me, that's a setup. We experience something, we cannot move on. Can learn to lean in.
47:18
Melissa Shere Beek: It's part of us.
47:19
Jennifer Warren Medwin: We can move forward.
47:20
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
47:20
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? And so, how does our vocabulary, how does our inner dialogue propel us forward or keep us stuck?
47:29
Melissa Shere Beek: Tell me another I like these vocabulary to change the vocabulary. Tell me another one that's a common one that you like to change with your clients.
47:37
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I I have to go pick up my car my kids at carpool.
47:41
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
47:42
Jennifer Warren Medwin: No. You don't have to. You get to.
47:45
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. You get to. That's a good Or,
47:47
Jennifer Warren Medwin: you know, I've been wanting to go to the gym and I never get there.
47:52
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
47:52
Jennifer Warren Medwin: No. You haven't gotten there yet.
47:54
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. I like that. I like rephrasing all of that.
47:57
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mhmm. Okay. Good. And it's and the more you do it, the more you do it, the more you're aware
48:04
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
48:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Of whether your dialogue empowers you or disempowers you
48:09
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
48:10
Jennifer Warren Medwin: The more you're gonna want to pay attention.
48:13
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
48:14
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You know? We don't want negative dialogue renting space in
48:18
Melissa Shere Beek: our No.
48:19
Jennifer Warren Medwin: In our the only home we'll ever have. Yeah. Right? And so, how can you talk to yourself like you would to your best friend?
48:26
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. With more love, more grace, more kindness, more patience.
48:30
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right. And reframing, you know, just because we've had the just because we're having these thoughts, that doesn't mean that we are those thoughts. Right. So, you you can reframe them. That's Right.
48:41
That's being the good mother to yourself.
48:43
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
48:43
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That's being the good best friend to yourself.
48:47
Melissa Shere Beek: To yourself.
48:48
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Reframe.
48:48
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. You know? It's the advice you'd give to someone you love.
48:51
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mhmm.
48:51
Melissa Shere Beek: So you have to love yourself and give that advice to yourself.
48:54
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Well, you don't have to love yourself.
48:55
Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. You don't have to.
48:57
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You don't have to. You have to it's about wanting to love yourself, and really believing that you deserve it.
49:02
Melissa Shere Beek: Right. That's it. Mhmm. Being deserving. Mhmm.
49:06
Yeah. I got it. So, how can we continue to connect to purpose through life's transition? Like, what's another tip that we can continue to remind ourselves when we're in these sort of transitional moments to sort of self empower?
49:22
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So, one way is to really start to understand what our body does physiologically when we are upset.
49:29
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it.
49:30
Jennifer Warren Medwin: So what are some of the physiological responses you have when you get triggered? And by the way, this is a big one. Other people don't trigger us.
49:41
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
49:41
Jennifer Warren Medwin: We allow them to trigger us. It's standing in your own autonomy, right? So, we can't give that power to others.
49:49
Melissa Shere Beek: No, it's again our response.
49:51
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It's our response to them, right? So, you know, I hear this all the time. Well, he does this and he's constantly that behavior triggers me. No, you're allowing it to trigger you. So, how we move beyond that?
50:06
Right? And so, part of that is really understanding when your body is giving you signals that you're starting to get upset, right? Because anger is a secondary emotion. It is not a core emotion. A core emotion is like, I feel sad, I feel resentment, I feel frustrated.
50:25
And when I don't identify with when I don't identify those core emotions, that's when
50:32
Melissa Shere Beek: It turns.
50:32
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It turns into anger. So, physiologically, for example, like when I allow myself to get triggered, my heart starts to race. I feel hot, you know,
50:46
Melissa Shere Beek: You can feel that's the change in your body and your sensations and stuff like that.
50:50
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And that's the time where I often use felt sense, whether it's hugging myself
50:55
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
50:56
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Whether it's doing some type of Taffing. Tapping
50:58
Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm.
50:59
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Whether it's humming. Mhmm. Believe it or not, I mean, we spoke about this before, but humming quietly to yourself makes you more relaxed and it brings you back into your window of tolerance and allows you to connect to your purpose.
51:14
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
51:14
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? I talk about often and I believe this, that we have inner whispers. And for myself, I know that for many years I quieted my inner whispers and then they just got louder and louder
51:31
Melissa Shere Beek: and And
51:34
Jennifer Warren Medwin: then I is when I had to make some different choices. Right? And so, standing in your purpose means understanding physiologically in your soma what your body is telling you.
51:48
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
51:48
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And listening. And listening and knowing that you are not your thoughts.
51:53
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
51:53
Jennifer Warren Medwin: You have the power to choose the path in which
51:57
Melissa Shere Beek: you're Awareness gonna again. Mhmm. I like that. So what's on the horizon for you? What's new and exciting and upcoming?
52:05
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Well, I'm writing my second book.
52:07
Melissa Shere Beek: Woo, I love that.
52:08
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Yes. It's gonna be all about the impact method and taking brave bites forward. And just sharing my enthusiasm for personal growth with others. I'm doing something new and different now, which I love. From a lot of my female clients, I'm hearing that they're just getting tired of going out to dinner or playing mahjong or going to book club.
52:36
So, what I've created is intentional awareness workshops where I go to people's homes.
52:43
Melissa Shere Beek: So,
52:44
Jennifer Warren Medwin: a couple weeks ago, somebody had cocktails and we went to their house, she had 10 friends, and I spoke on communication, right? How do we learn how to really listen to each other because, you know, inherently we listen to defend and not to understand.
53:01
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
53:02
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And there's so many elements to communication that I wish I had learned many years ago and I wish there were opportunities for the children to learn in school.
53:11
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, yeah. Effective communication.
53:12
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Mhmm. Right. I do love languages, resiliency, and conflict management. And it's amazing that after these workshops, people will call me and they'll say, it's so great because my friend taught me this this strategy and she said she learned it from you
53:30
Melissa Shere Beek: and Oh, love that. The ripple effect of that that is
53:33
Jennifer Warren Medwin: And creating a community of learners is something that is really important to me.
53:38
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, yeah. The love of learning doesn't ever end. No. I think it's critical.
53:43
Jennifer Warren Medwin: It is critical. And, you know, but it has to be something you believe in and you want, and you only learn by doing.
53:50
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
53:51
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Right? So, you can read, you can listen to a coach. Confidence and clarity only come from action.
54:01
Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. A 100%. Yeah. Oh, good. I like that.
54:04
Okay. So I'm I'm definitely for all my listeners, I'm gonna put the listener links, and they can find all the stuff that through that, but through your Instagram and all the information so they can call you up, and I love that.
54:15
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I would love that.
54:16
Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Before I end, I always do a little thing with my guests called Quickie Questions. You game?
54:23
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Okay. Go Okay. For
54:24
Melissa Shere Beek: Good. What did you learn from something that hurts you?
54:28
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That I'm strong and resilient.
54:30
Melissa Shere Beek: Got it. What do you want to get better at?
54:35
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Patience. Having more patience. That is my word on my vision board this year. Love Patience.
54:41
Melissa Shere Beek: What else is on your vision board now that I'm excited about Oh,
54:44
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I'm a big believer in vision boards. I'll tell you what is on my vision board is a lot of white space.
54:52
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, okay.
54:53
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Do you know why I leave white space on my vision board?
54:56
Melissa Shere Beek: Tell us.
54:58
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Because I'm not omniscient.
55:00
Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
55:01
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Things will come to me and for me that Yeah. I might never have thought And I want to leave that door open.
55:10
Melissa Shere Beek: I like that. I like that a lot. Mhmm. Okay. What would you tell 12 year old you?
55:16
Jennifer Warren Medwin: What would I?
55:17
Melissa Shere Beek: What would you tell 12 year old you?
55:23
Jennifer Warren Medwin: That have faith in even the darkest times because they breed the most influential lessons.
55:35
Melissa Shere Beek: I like that. Well said. Well said. Okay. What's your favorite meal?
55:40
Jennifer Warren Medwin: My favorite meal, like, of the day or something to eat? Anything. Pizza.
55:45
Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, yeah. That's fine.
55:46
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I love pizza. I mean, if I were on a deserted island
55:49
Melissa Shere Beek: Pizza and cookies. That's good. And ice cream.
55:53
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Pizza and pasta would
55:54
Melissa Shere Beek: be Oh, yeah. I love that. Oh, thank you so much for being here. I'm so honored. You're getting us motivated.
56:01
I'm excited to try out new techniques.
56:03
Jennifer Warren Medwin: I hope And I'm really
56:05
Melissa Shere Beek: I'm inspired. I'm inspired. And I know my listeners will learn so much and incorporate these steps in their lives as well. So I'm thrilled. Honored and thrilled to have you on here.
56:13
Thank you so much.
56:14
Jennifer Warren Medwin: Thank you for having me. Was a pleasure.
56:16
Melissa Shere Beek: My pleasure. Yeah. It's such a good time. To our listeners, thank you so much. So grateful you're here.
56:22
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56:29
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56:43
Big shout out and a huge thank you to Steven Chen at Penthouse Studios. Woo hoo. Woo hoo. Beek on Being was recorded at Penthouse Studios and is a proud member of the Penthouse Podcast Network.