Latest / Motherhood Uncut / 12 Mindsets Shared by the Women Who Thrive in Both Their Careers and in Motherhood | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 6 Episode 8

Transcript

12 Mindsets Shared by the Women Who Thrive in Both Their Careers and in Motherhood | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 6 Episode 8 · Motherhood Uncut

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Kate Kripke and welcome to the Motherhood Uncut Podcast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast brings the reality of motherhood to the table for real, honest conversations.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Here we laugh, we cry, we learn, we grow, we are awestruck, amazed, humbled, and validated.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: But most importantly, together we begin to live in a new way that allows us to recognize the immense role that our own health and well-being plays in the health and well-being of our kids.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Together we recognize that everything we do to take care of our physical, psychological, social, and spiritual health is in service of our children.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: This season, we're diving deep into the role that the shoulds and shouldn'ts and rules and expectations play in our motherhood journey.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Together, this season, we will learn to break those boundaries that hold us back from our greatest potential.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to be hearing from the moms who have taken this risk, from experts who help in this journey, and from family members who, Lord help me, have important insight to share.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So pull up a chair, my friend, make a cup of tea, pour a glass of wine, put on your walking shoes, turn up the volume in your car.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do this together because nobody should mother alone.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hey listeners.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a really powerful episode for you today.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's an episode that is designed to challenge you.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's designed to invite in some real honest thinking on your part, reflection.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: As I continue to support career-driven, high-achieving type A women who are struggling with anxiety and guilt in motherhood and who are really wanting to create and carry through with, like really commit to having secure, joyful, safe relationships with their kids while they also engage in work outside of motherhood.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: While I've been continuing to support them, I am really clear over and over on what it is that leads women to thrive in both their careers and motherhood.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to talk about that today.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I'm going to share with you the 12 mindsets of these women.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: The women who actually achieve that, who have those life, that life where they are feeling so fulfilled in both their careers and motherhood.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to tell you what the 12 things are that they all have in common.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really happy you're here.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, let's make sure no one mothers alone.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if this feels like a helpful and inspiring episode for you, share it with at least one mom who you care about.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there, listeners.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I am really excited to share with you today something that I've been thinking a lot about, just in general, as I do my work with high-achieving type A success-driven, career-driven women who are really struggling with anxiety and guilt in motherhood, meaning they've been really successful in their lives.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: They've done amazing things.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: They are on really incredible achievement-oriented paths.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then they become moms.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, dang, I can really relate to this.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then they become moms, and they're sort of struck by this sudden feeling of where did I go?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening here?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I do this when I've done all these other things?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, the women who I work with are tend to be women who base their sense of selves on their achievements, right?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: They know who they are when they are achieving big things, when they're meeting their goals.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: But when that's not happening, when they can't seem to meet their goals or they can't seem to achieve the things they're telling themselves they need to achieve, they're not only just frustrated by that, but they feel deep shame about it.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like what's wrong with me?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is literally like every single woman that walks into my coaching community has some element of this in there.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I thought today I would share with you 12 mindsets that the women who ultimately thrive in both their careers and motherhood, 12 mindsets, 12 ways of thinking that all those women have.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I say thrive, I want to be really clear here.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I do not mean feel good all the time.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Life is full of curveballs.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And our brains are wired, you guys, like literally human brains are wired to feel fear in times of unpredictability and uncertainty.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, by the way, some people like that feeling.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And by feeling, I mean feeling, like in your body of racing heart, turning of your belly, kind of shortness of breath, right?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's a somatic physiological experience that we have because our brains are wired to initially see those moments as a threat to us.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's how human brains were wired for survival.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Back in the first, you know, days, years, but decades of human life on this planet, you know, life was pretty simple.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: You were either going to be eaten or you weren't.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: You were either going to be left by your tribe or you weren't.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was pretty black and white, either or, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: But now in 2024, there's so much nuance.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that have to do with context, right?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just content.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just from an outside perspective what's happening, it's context.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like given who we are, and given this current situation, and given our own experience, is this feel like a threat or not?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And our body is our physiology, doesn't know the difference between real and perceived threat.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what that means is that if our brain does the thing it's supposed to do to keep us alive and says, oh, uncertainty, unpredictability, threatening, our brain's going to release hormones into our bodies that set our physiology up to fight or flee, or perhaps play dead, freeze.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so because life is chaotic, right?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And because if you're someone who has big goals outside of motherhood before you've become a mom that you feel passionate about, that you feel are a priority for you, and then you have a child, and there's so much uncertainty and unpredictability inherent in being a mother to a child, then you're going to feel a lot of emotional discomfort.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: We can't skip over it.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: We can't expect ourselves to feel good all the time.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I got a little off tangent, but what I mean here is when I say 12 mindsets of women who thrive both in career and in motherhood, by thrive, I mean who can stay steady, who can continue to move forward, who continue, can continue to access all kinds of moments and feelings of joy and connection and hopefulness and ease and calm and excitement and all those things that we want to feel in our lives.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: These are the 12 mindsets of a woman who achieve that.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to go through them one by one.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I would love to invite you, as you're listening to this today, to score yourself.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean score, like let's let's invite some playfulness here.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Let's invite lots of self-compassion.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So don't score yourself like, you know, I'm failing at this one and I'm now I'm feeling shame for failing.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean genuinely with as much loving curiosity as you can bring forward to really ask yourself the very important and also often very hard questions.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: In a score of one to ten, where am I?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make it easier for you.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: On a score of one to five.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Five being, oh, I've I am a hundred percent embodied in this thing.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I with each one of these?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here we go.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: The first one is extreme clarity.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, women who thrive, meaning who feel healthy in their bodies, who feel healthy in their brains, who can navigate hard moments without crumbling, who are resilient, who are deeply connected and enjoying their lives, women who thrive are crystal clear about what they want.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when I mean crystal clear, you know, there's a there's a concept out there of be, do, have.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to have certain things in my life, I actually have to first be the person who's likely to have those things.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have to embody that person, not just think in my head, but literally embody, know what it feels like.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then from that place where I'm being the woman who has the life that I want to have, once I know what that feels like, then I can take the action steps that that woman would do.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: The take, that's the do.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Be, do, and then have.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And now I have that life.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So women who thrive, who feel healthy in both their careers or their life outside of motherhood and motherhood, those are the women who are crystal clear about what they want.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you don't have that clarity, if we don't have that clarity, it's like driving in fog.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: We can't see where we're going.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: We can say, I know that what my S my ultimate destination is.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like I think I know, but I can't see my way.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm getting stuck.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have to, I sort of have to stop my car because I can't see anything.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: In my Com Connection System program, one of the very first things that we do, the first exercise we do in our first one-on-one, is we meet on what we call this side of the bridge today, this day today.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: What is happening for you that's not working for you that you want to change?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's not just, it's not just seeing it as you know, intellectually, it's feeling it.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like what does it really feel like in every nerve cell of your body to be where you are right now, today?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: What are your thoughts?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: What are the beliefs you have?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: What are you telling yourself?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: What are your behaviors?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: What are the feelings you're engaging with most of the time?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta really know in your body what isn't working.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And this requires deep honesty.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because many of us were taught that unpleasant feelings were bad and wrong.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so therefore, we distract ourselves from them, or we talk ourselves out of having them, or we push them down, right?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that actually misses the point because those feelings you have in your body, what it feels like to be in your life right now, those feelings are here to tell you something about the type of thinking you're having, about the kind of choices you're making, about the beliefs you have about yourself and what's possible for you.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the first part of this, extreme clarity.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening now?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then extreme clarity, what's on the other side of the metaphoric bridge for you?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: So in that first session with my clients, I'm saying, okay, now where do you want to be in three months from now?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally, what does that look like?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of thoughts are you having?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: What do you believe about yourself?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of actions are you taking on a day-to-day basis?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: What are the choices that you're making?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you spending your time with?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you feel in your body?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the women who ultimately get to a place where they feel really solid about their lives, they know what they want.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And they also know why it's important.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, a question I ask all my clients in my very first session, and I'm going to ask you right now to consider this: if you were at the Grand Canyon and you were looking across the canyon, and there's a little bridge, by the way, it's like that Indiana Jones-esque bridge.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like blowing in the wind and like every third plank is broken.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: But on the other side of the canyon, across that bridge is your child or your children if you have more than one.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: They are suffering.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the only way to help them to help them with their suffering is to cross that bridge.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do you go?
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have never in the three years I've been running my program asked a mother this and had them say not say yes right away.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I say, why?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: So for a moment, ask yourself, why would I go?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's clear because I have purpose.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: My job is to keep my children safe.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I have desire.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I want my children to be healthy and well and safe.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that clarity and purpose and desire is what keeps you moving forward across that bridge.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: You don't look down below or back behind you.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: You got your eyes on those children the entire time.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Extreme clarity.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first thing that people have.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta know what's happening for you now that you want to change, and you've got to know where you want to go, how you want to feel, how you want your life to look, what you want to be doing in your life.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you have to know why.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why is that important to you?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And not just the surface why, but why is, you know, it's like a it's like an onion.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why is that important to you?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why is that thing important to you?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why is that thing important to you?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that you build so much purpose and desire that there's no other option that to move than to move forward forward.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, extreme clarity.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: All right, the second one, focused prioritization.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: What the heck does that mean?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in order to move forward, in order to have a life that looks and feels the way you want it to look and feel, you have to be willing to say no to the things that don't matter.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: You need to have non-negotiables.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Non-negotiables mean their needs, right?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: If I am committed to making sure that my life is one in which I feel purposeful and alive and fulfilled and driven in my career and also deeply connected and patient and um joyful and purposeful and engaged in mothering.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: If I want those two things, then I have to be willing to say no to other things.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I need to know what are the non-negotiables for me in order to get those things.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Non-negotiable doesn't mean it would be nice if.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: I see this all the time, by the way, when I will work with women and they'll say, Yeah, I know, I, I know I really want to take better care of myself.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: But then all these things get in the way.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm gonna go see a friend tomorrow night.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're telling your kiddo that you're not gonna be home for dinner, and your kiddo is crying, and then you say, Okay, fine, I won't go, and you cancel so that you can be home.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like that does that, then that social connection so that you can be healthy has become negotiable.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: What are your non-negotiables?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: To move forward, you have to say no to what doesn't matter.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: That means being okay with disappointing other people so that you don't disappoint yourself with respect to what you know you want and need to be as healthy as possible.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So this looks like going to bed instead of staying up watching TV.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know that your non-negotiable for your health and well-being is to get enough sleep.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not to stay caught up in that TV series, right?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Even if your partner says, come on, watch one more episode with me, or come on, what, right?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be willing to say no to someone that wants something from you in order to say yes to yourself, knowing that taking care of yourself is going to get you to what you ultimately want, which is good for everybody.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it might also mean saying no to helping someone else when you feel completely depleted.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oof, that's a hard one, right?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Someone says, please will you um take my kid next Saturday so I can go do this thing?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or, hey, I am I'm really struggling with something.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Can you spend, I I need to vent to you.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Can you spend time on the phone with me when you're like, oh my gosh, I am drained.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I need to just like be with my family and rest, right?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever that thing is, extended family.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be willing to say no to helping others when you feel completely depleted.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, that also means you're might mean your child.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Your child may have something they deeply want from you.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that child has a um like a thing happening at school, right?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's like, you know, I don't know, you have an opportunity to help in the classroom or something.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, okay, I really should do this thing.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then you realize that you are so exhausted that what you really need that morning or that afternoon is to go for a long walk by yourself, or to have coffee with a friend, or to sleep, or to whatever it is.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be willing to say no to your child in that situation so that you can say yes to yourself, knowing that when you're depleted, you're more likely to be impatient, to be ineffective in what you're doing, to let your own emotions dictate the way you're showing up with people.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that moment may be disappointing for your child, but you know that you're doing that thing for the greater good.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Focus prioritization.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: What are your non-negotiables?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Decide what's important to you and stick with it.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, non-negotiables, we don't need to have 20 of them, right?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: You may just have a handful.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And those non-negotiab are going to make it so that you are continuing to drive forward towards the life you want most versus falling back into old habits and patterns.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And those habits and patterns are going to, for all of us, come from deep beliefs we have about what's okay and what's not okay.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: Self-care is selfish.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't do it, no one else will.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Other people's needs are more important than my own.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, a lot of us come into adulthood with some of these beliefs.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, they may have propelled us into great success in parts of our lives.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: But when we're trying to be healthy as mothers and also engage in important work, we have to be willing to shift those beliefs so that we can have what we ultimately want most.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number three, burning desire.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: I talked about this in the very first one.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: A burning desire gives you focus and energy.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's what drives you to push through even the tough days.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: This mindset is strengthened literally by surrounding yourself with a community of people who inspire you, who are also driven by love, connection, similar purpose.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: We want to find people who are growing and evolving and not stuck in stress and overwhelm.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to let the fuel, the desire fuel your actions.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, what does this mean in real time?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it might mean when you become a mom and you suddenly are open to the world of mommy advice and mommy pressure, that you begin to hear from other people that you should be home with your kid more.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: That good moms don't also have careers, that good moms prioritize their children's wants.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, whatever the thing is, right?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because we all know this.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna find counter perspectives for everything we do.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: But for us as moms, I mean, I've never, I really truly have never met a woman who doesn't desperately want to be a good mom, doesn't desperately want to give her child what their child needs.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: So Maybe you're someone who's been on a career path, you've been focused on something, you become a mom, and suddenly you begin to fear that this desire you have to have a life outside of motherhood means something bad or wrong about you.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Means that you must not love your children enough or must not care enough about them.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: In order to have what you most want, you have to have that burning desire for both.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: The burning desire to both give your kids what they need to be healthy and thrive, and to find joy with them and to be present.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: You have to both desire that deeply because you know your why.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know that that's what comes in.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's what is involved in being a secure parent for your child.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you know that showing up as a secure parent, that parent, that mom who is steady, that can stay on her own two feet when there's chaos and messiness that can, you know, when she makes mistakes, she can repair and come back.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: When she, you know, falls down and gets in her own stuff, she can fill herself back up and get back on her own two feet so that she can be steady and neutral.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know that that's the parent that your child needs, right?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: But you also know, perhaps, that if you're not engaging in these other things outside of motherhood, you're not gonna feel like a full embodied self.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know that you want to need those things for you.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to have such desire that it's unwavering, that even when someone shares a different perspective and says, Oh, well, you know, um, I'm I'm prioritizing my kids all the time.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm showing up for my kids anytime they need me because that's what children need to feel healthy.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: That, yeah, you're gonna feel a little like, hmm, how does that sit with me?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna feel that hiccup of, oh crap.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to come back to what you want most.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is okay if you choose to leave a career or leave something focused outside of motherhood to stay home with your kids.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: There are plenty of people who decide to do that because that's right for them.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's also okay if you want to do both.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so once you know what you want, you need such a desire that you are motivated, you have energy, and then you, again, as we talked about, focused prioritization prioritization.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: You keep that focus about what are your non-negotiables to make sure that you get there.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: So take a pause for a moment.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: We have talked about, what have we talked about?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: We have talked about, um, we have talked about extreme clarity, focused prioritization, burning desire.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: So rate yourself on one to five.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: One is, oh gosh, I am barely, barely eking through on that one.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And five is I am all in.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you?
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no shame.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is just pure compassionate reflection.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, unwavering commitment.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: You will fail, you will make mistakes.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: There is no success without failure.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: You will fall off the horse.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: And again, of course, we have all heard this.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there is no success without failure.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you see those failures as evidence that you can't have this thing that you want most, then you'll stop.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Then you'll just not have it.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the key is resilience, right?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: The key is continuing to move forward anyway.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do your mistakes, do your failures, do your setbacks knock your confidence?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Confidence being I am okay, I can do this.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or do they provide opportunities for you to build your skills, your skills in staying steady when life is chaotic, when your kid is having big emotions, to build your skills in neutral curiosity versus judgment of yourself or your child or someone else, to build your skills in changing the negative ruminating thinking that's keeping you stuck, building skills in feeling hard emotions and then shifting those emotions to the more pleasant ones.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Build your skills in nervous system management.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see the mistakes as opportunities to practice to get back on the horse?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you see those mistakes and failures as evidence that what you want most can't happen?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: So non-stop resilience is required here.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to remind you that resilience is hard, dare I say impossible, if you're running on empty.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: So again, this goes back, you know.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see how these are all tied together?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: This goes back to focus prioritization.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to be resilient, you need to have a healthy brain.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to have a healthy brain, you have to be prioritizing with non-negotiable boundaries around those things, your own self-care, sleep, eating healthy, taking time for yourself, quiet time, exercise, moving your body, social connections, seeing friends, play, doing those things that are literally pointless.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're just doing them because they bring you joy, because they feel good, time in nature, drinking enough water, all these things we know feed our brain so that our brains are resilient to those stressful moments.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: So unwavering commitment.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are you saying you want something, but then unconsciously committed to not having that?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And by unconsciously committed, I say, I mean if we say we want something, if I say I want to be healthier so that I can show up as more patient with my child and have more energy to play with them.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I continue to not say what I need and want to be healthy, or to not do those things anyway, even if other people are disappointed, or to if I continue to tell myself, I have to do it by myself, right?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'm actually unconsciously committed.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not realizing I'm doing it, but I'm unconsciously committed to staying stuck.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you unwaveringly committed to having the life that you most want?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you are, then you're going to do the things that are required to help you get there, like tend your own body, brain, spirit, soul, heart.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like see those mistakes and failures as opportunities to practice a new skill versus go back and to tell yourself you can't have that thing you most want.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: Are you unwaveringly committed?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, why not?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's not a why not, like a shaming question.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's curiosity, compassion.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why not?
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: What's getting in your way?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, courage.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is natural.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: We all feel it.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Remember how I started?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like unpredictability and uncertainty, our brains are wired to have a fear response to those things.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: If my baby is crying and I don't know why, I'm going to feel some anxiety.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: If I am mothering alone and I don't have the support I need, the community that helps me to understand I'm not alone, that helps to lift me up, I'm going to feel alone and isolated.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: If I am being treated in a way that's harmful by someone, I'm going to feel angry.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: If I want something desperately and I'm excited for it and I'm hoping for it, whether that's whatever it is, and that doesn't happen for some reason, I'm going to feel disappointed, right?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Mental health, by the way, actually does not mean that you're feeling good all the time.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's no one on this planet that feels good all the time.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe there is, but they are an anomaly.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be willing to feel the emotions that are unpleasant in order to have more of the emotions that are pleasant.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we're going to feel fear, but courage is about taking action despite the fear.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: It means courage is doing that thing that we know we need to do to be healthy, even when we feel guilty.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: It means saying no to that person who's asking something of us when we don't have the bandwidth, even when we're fearful that they're going to feel disappointed.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's about taking action despite the fear.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, there's sort of a phrase I've heard: fear is wetting your pants.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: Those of us who are moms, we know what it's like to have ourselves or other people wet their pants.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is wetting your pants.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Courage is what do you do next?
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: So courage is a muscle.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: We get stronger by doing the things that scare us over and over and over again.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that's self-care that makes us feel guilty or a tough conversation we have to have with someone, maybe it's a child, maybe it's a partner, maybe it's someone at work that we're avoiding.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's pushing through that fear.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, fear is the break.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: If we buy into the fear, we stop ourselves from moving forward.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: And courage is the gas pedal.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Forward progress requires courage, even when it's uncomfortable.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, it's okay for our children to feel fear.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay for them to feel uncomfortable emotions.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if if we if they're going to daycare or we have a care provider so that we can go do the things that we want to do, and they feel some anxiety about that, that is okay.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: That is how we help our children build courage.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: We allow them to feel their own fear and we love them through it so that they see, so that they learn that they can both feel fear and be okay at the same time.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we parent our children to be brave and courageous.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to embody courage when you feel fear?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, quick little break here.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you like the things that you hear here on this podcast, I want to invite you to come find me over on Instagram at Kate Kripke, K-A-T-E, K-R-I-P-K-E.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Really committed to providing free support to moms everywhere.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the two places that I do that are here and over there.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not following me yet over there, come on over and take a moment and DM me and send me a message.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: Introduce yourself.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: I love nothing more than connecting with people over in that community.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope to see you there.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, extreme ownership.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, this is like a very big part of my work in my own life.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably the thing that has changed my life most.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: And to remind you all, I struggled with so much anxiety and panic for so much of my life.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I am not a 50-year one-year-old woman with two daughters and a 19-year-old marriage.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: I am not in this place despite the anxiety I feel and the panic I feel.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in this place because I've learned to take responsibility for that anxiety and that fear and to take pure ownership of what's mine.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I no longer blame the things outside of me for how I feel.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: I no longer blame my husband for what he is or isn't doing for how I feel.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: I no longer blame my children for what they are or aren't doing for how I feel.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's something I'm the most proud of in my life is I am going to take a hundred percent responsibility for my 100%.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: That means I'm taking full responsibility for my own thinking and my own actions.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, there's only two things that we can control.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: You and me, our partners, our children, other people, only two things that we actually have control over, our own thoughts and our own actions.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing else.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: We could have lots of influence.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: That influence, by the way, can go both directions, right?
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: If I am thinking fear-based, catastrophic, all or nothing, defensive, protective thoughts that have a lot to do with blaming other people or focusing on my past or my the fear I have about the future.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm thinking that way, my body is going to be tight and tense.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, our brain, our brain is responding to our thoughts.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: Our brain is releasing hormones and chemicals into our bodies.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: We have like a whole pharmacy in there, based on what we're telling our brain is happening.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to feel anxious.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when I feel anxious, I'm going to have a rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, body tension.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Believe it or not, my body odor is going to be different.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to take those feelings based on those thoughts with me into the interactions I have with my children at bedtime, with my children in hard situations, with my children when they're crying with my partner, in conversations at work with my colleagues or my boss or my, right?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to take that stuff with me.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm going to have an influence in the end result based on how I'm showing up in that moment.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: Same comes the other way.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: If I am telling myself that I have choice here, I have, I can control my breath.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: I can actually control how I'm responding to this thing that's happening.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: When I remind myself of that, my nervous system is going to do something very different.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to go into parasympathetic rest and digest mode.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm basically telling my brain, I'm okay.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: I have agency here.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: I can choose what to do next.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: And my choices will lead me to the results I want.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then I begin to feel calmer.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: I begin to feel empowered.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: I feel loving.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: I feel connected.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: I feel hopeful.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then I bring those feelings.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, now my body, the tension in my body is relaxed a little bit.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: My facial expressions are softer.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: My tone of voice is actually a little lower.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm speaking more slowly.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: My face is more open.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm engaging in more eye contact with people.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then that way of being and whatever happens next influences what happens next.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to in my life, or I've chosen to, if I want to be a woman who feels deeply empowered, who is very successful in my career and also has deep, loving, safe, secure relationships, my daughters, that I trust that they're okay, that I have a 19-year marriage where, yeah, marriage is hard, but it can also be amazing.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: If I, if I have these things now in my life now, it's only because I have taken 100% responsibility, extreme ownership for how I'm responding to my life and how I'm actually responding to the things that I don't have control over, like how my children are feeling, the choices they're making, how they're thinking, how my husband feels, how he's showing up, the choices he's making, my potential clients.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do they do those potential clients choose to work with me or not?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: What are they doing?
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: If they're in my coaching circle, right?
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: What are the choices they're making?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: Are they showing up for calls?
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Are they watching the videos?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are they sharing vulnerably and authentically in the community?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't control those things.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm taking 100% responsibility for my part in the success that I want in my life.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that shifts everything.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really important that we all, that you stop waiting for life to become predictable and easy for you to feel better.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: Stop waiting for the people outside of you to change in order for you to feel steady, calm, grounded, confident.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: And take ownership.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do that, you will gain the agency, the choice and control that you want most to make real change in your life.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Extreme ownership.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: Are you taking full responsibility for your life?
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I ask this question all the time.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: What part might you be playing in the things that aren't working for you?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to take 100% responsibility for the other person.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Just yours.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just your 100% responsibility.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: When you've got two people in a dynamic, it's not each person is paying has 50% responsibility.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: You each have 100% responsibility for your part.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are you taking 100% responsibility?
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: The women who feel confident, competent, grounded, fulfilled, joyful, easeful in their lives, they are taking 100% ownership for their part.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Number seven, resourcefulness.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about having more resources, having more time, having more money, having more energy.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being resourceful for what you have already.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of thinking, I can't do this because I don't have enough time, because I don't have enough money, because I don't have enough energy.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's asking yourself, how can I make this thing happen?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: How can I use my time, energy, money, whatever other resources they are differently?
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: When we become focused on being creative and flexible, we find ways to reuse our resources more effectively.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is growth mindset.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this growth mindset leads us to progress, while fixed scarcity mindset keeps us stuck.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the questions we want to ask is how can I make this thing that I want so much?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: So now we're back to desire, that I find so much purpose in.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: I know why it's important to me.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: How can I make this thing happen?
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Who can help me?
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do differently?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: How can I think creatively so that and be more resourceful so that I can make this thing that I know is ultimately important for me happen?
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: When we go into questions with scarcity, I don't have enough money.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have enough time.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, I will say these are the three things that I hear when I talk with women who are feeling stuck in their lives, right?
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: Who are feeling a lot of anxiety, a lot of guilt, a lot of burnout.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: When I talk to them about the program, the Calm Connection System, the program that I run, the objections I hear over and over are I don't have enough time, my life is already full, I can't find more time to do this thing.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have enough money, it's too expensive, I have to pay for the vacation coming up, or the new fence, or my child's soccer, or gosh, even daycare, or you know, and I don't have enough energy.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm literally too tired to take on one more thing.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: These are usually the three objections that I hear.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I want to remind all of us we spend resources where we find value.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no right answer here.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that it's not wrong to choose to spend money on the vacation or the new shoes for your child, or the Christmas presents, or the um your child's thing that you think you're telling yourself that they need, or even your Starbucks, right?
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that it's wrong to prioritize those things at all.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm never gonna say to someone, you shouldn't spend money on that thing over this thing.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: But it is really important to understand that we all understand that where we focus our energy is going to be what we value most.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then we have to ask ourselves, right?
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are my values?
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: What are my priorities?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: If my My value and priority is health and well-being.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, sustainable health and well-being.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: If my value and my priority is that my child is as healthy and happy and resilient as possible so that they can be successful in their life, then I have to be asking myself: is the place that I'm spending my time and energy really and money really going to get them there?
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or is there something else that I can be doing with my time, my energy, and my money that might ultimately actually get them where they want to go?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if I value something, if I really want something badly enough, I need to be asking myself, how can I make this thing happen?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Is it important enough to me?
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_00: We go back to the other mindsets, right?
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do I am I focusing my priorities where I'm telling myself my priorities are?
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: Am I so clear on what I ultimately want in my life that I'm willing to prioritize those things?
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: Am I focusing on my priorities?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have enough burning desire and unwavering commitment and courage that I'm willing to be emotionally uncomfortable in the temporary moment, to have other people feel challenging emotions in this moment now, in order to have what I want most?
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, if we want our children to be resilient, if we want them to be brave, if we want them to build grit, we have to be willing to have them feel emotional discomfort.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: Those things don't happen without emotional discomfort.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be willing to say no to them in order to say us yes to ourselves in service of them.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: So if you find that you know that there are things out there that you will benefit from, whatever it is, doesn't matter, big or small, and you're saying to yourself, I can't do this thing because I don't have enough time, I don't have enough money, I don't have enough energy, I would love to invite you to consider different questions.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: How can I make this happen?
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Who can help me make this happen?
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: Where can I redelegate time, money, energy so that it goes towards the things that I know are gonna help me have the life that I most want?
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: Resourcefulness.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: Women who feel full of confidence and competence and joy and fulfillment, both in their careers and at home, they are resourceful.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: Number eight, stamina.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oof, gosh, we're really, these are all very similar, right?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: Success requires stamina, resilience.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: It requires showing up every day and taking consistent action even when it feels hard.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: You guys probably know this, but I'll remind you: change, the psychology of change tells us that change only happens with small, repetitive, consistent action.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the big things, you guys.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: Those of us who are success achievement oriented, we often tell ourselves, well, it needs to be hard in order for it to make a difference.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: We think about the big things.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_00: We don't think about the little things.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: We don't think about the three deep mindful breaths first thing every morning.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: We don't realize that that small thing is going to make it more likely that we feel calm and connected at the end of the day when we're tucking our kids in at night.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or that we are more clear when we are in that meeting at work.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: I see this when I help my clients in our in our program create what we call our non-pharmaceutical prescription for mental health.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: What's on there?
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: What we start with in the mindfulness section, because we know that mindfulness leads to being present, and we know that presence leads us to the kind of connections we want.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I hear it over and over again.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm distracted.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be more present with my child.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we want this big thing, and we don't realize that three deep breaths, first thing in the morning, is gonna help us get there.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: We think, how on earth with that little thing?
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: It works.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: So stamina, we have to be willing to do the small things over and over and over and over again.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: Even when it gets hard, every day, consistent action.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: There will be times when you want to give up.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: There will be times when you're like, oh, I don't want to go for that 5, 10, 15-minute walk today, even though it's on my non-pharmaceutical.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to do that.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather get all these emails done.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather just have that drink at the end of the day, right?
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather do these other things.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: There will be times when you want to give up, but you need to remember that you're playing the long game.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: You're playing the long game to have that life where you feel steady, where you feel grounded, where your marriage is thriving, where your kids are healthy, where your teenagers are coming to you when they are feeling hard things.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: They're not going to their friends every time, they're not going to other people, they're coming to you because they trust you.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_00: They trust that you can handle their big feelings.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're playing the long game for that.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that means that every day, even when you don't want to, you're doing the things that are going to help you get there.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: This mindset helps you push through the discomfort, knowing that the small steps you take today will pay off in the future.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have stamina?
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't, then you want to go back, by the way, to your non-negotiables.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: Are you unconsciously committed to feeling depleted?
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then just owning that with so much love.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I am Kate, and I say I want stamina.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: I say I say I want resilience.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: I say I want to feel good, but I'm unconsciously committed to feeling icky.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: And how do I know that?
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because the results of my life are that I'm staying up late, scrolling on my phone or watching mindless TV, that I'm not feeding myself well, that I'm not taking time for myself, that I'm not pausing and slowing down, that I'm not taking breaks, that I'm not saying no to people when I really need to be saying no to them.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we just own that.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_00: And once we see that for what it is, now we can change it.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: Number nine, we're getting through it, you guys.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're getting there.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: Number nine, abundant thinking, right?
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is, of course, the other side of the one that we talked about, which was um, which was uh, well, they're all of them, right?
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: Resourcefulness.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_00: Abundant thinking means that we are willing to give freely.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's love, forgiveness, validation.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean give freely, and maybe it is time, right?
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, but when we withhold these things from ourselves or from our children, it creates tension and anxiety with our relationship with ourselves or relationship with our kids, right?
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to lead with love.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: We want to lead with compassion, both for ourselves and for others.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: The healthiest moms I know are those who give and receive freely.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: They say yes to support.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_00: They say yes to self-care and the care of others, they say yes to compassion and forgiveness of themselves and others.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not from depletion.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_00: They don't say yes because they should.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: They say yes because they can, because they're filled up, because they have given themselves, they've learned how to give themselves so much compassion and love and forgiveness that they can't help but give that to others.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_00: It comes freely, it comes naturally, it comes generously, without resentment or burnout.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: They're not giving to others with the expectation of return.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_00: They're not giving uh compassionately to their children, or they're not giving their kids with respect, respect for their own little beings, with the expectation that they're gonna get respect in return from their children.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're not holding that over their heads or their partners or their colleagues, they're giving that because it feels good to give, because they are filled with it already.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's abundance, there's not scarcity, there's abundance.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't state this enough.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: If we want to be patient with our children, if we want to offer them unconditional love, if we want to be kind and loving and compassionate, even when they are feeling hard things, we have to know how to do that with ourselves first.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: When we do that with ourselves first, that way of showing up with our children, it just comes naturally.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's effortless.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean it, it is effortless.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_00: When my teenage daughters come to me and they're angry at me for something, they're feeling big emotions.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we know this.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: Teenage life is just a second chapter of toddlerhood, right?
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is when our children are pushing against us in order to trust themselves.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this stage of life is.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: We see it happen around anywhere from age 18 months to three and a half, right?
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is when this happens, when our kids start pushing against those boundaries.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_00: They kept saying, no, why, why, why, why, why, no, no, no, no.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do it.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do it.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're challenging the boundaries.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_00: They're checking in to say, who am I outside of this thing?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're supposed to do that.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to show up grounded and steady, it doesn't mean I have to say yes to everything they're asking for.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean I have to give up the boundaries in order to help them grow.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_00: It means I'm willing to be curious in those moments.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to ask the hard questions.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing of myself and them.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to stay steady.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to ask myself, what can I willing to choose connection over control here?
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_00: In order for me to show up effortlessly in those moments to give abundantly, I have to have given abundantly to myself first.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not easy, especially if we've been raised in a family where we've been taught that we're supposed to sacrifice, or we've been taught because I said so, right?
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_00: So abundant thinking is there's always love to give, there's always forgiveness there.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a room for validation.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll say it again.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you're filled up, it becomes effortless, effortless to give generously.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_00: In my Thrive program, which is my second level program for folks who go through Calm Connection and want to continue in a community and receive support.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: This program is called Thrive.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_00: I am so blown away.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm blown away by how generously the women in that program support and give to each other's each other.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: How can I support you?
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, of course I'm struggling with some of the same things you are because I'm human.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_00: But then there's this thing that happens in our community voxer, in our support community, where those women are just showing up for each other effortlessly.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're validating each other, they're cheering each other on.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: They're saying, I am here for you.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm observing these women stepping up for each other, even when they all have their own versions of challenges, because we all do, right?
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_00: And yet they so easily see beyond themselves and they fully and authentically give to each other.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's no projection, there's no judgment, there's just love, there's just respect, there's just care, and they lift each other up.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, that's what we want to do.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_00: We want to lift our kids up.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to push them down.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_00: We want to lift them up, and we want to be lifted up by other people in our lives.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so abundant thinking.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_00: It is magic when this happens.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is moving.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can come to motherhood with that abundance, what you what your influence on your children will be is astounding.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is magic.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: Number 10, be a grow giver.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_00: Very similar.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to be so obsessed with your own growth because the more you grow, the more you can give.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_00: I have this thing in my life that I'm just like a podcast junkie.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one of my superpowers is that as I learn about self-love, about self-compassion, about true 100% ownership, about mindset, about spiritual growth, as I learn about those things, I can't help but give them to you in my community.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: I can't help it.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: The more I learn, the more I have to give you.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if deep down below inside, like think about that stacking doll, that Russian stacking doll, right?
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: If deep down inside you believe that you're worth investing in.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you invest in your own growth, whether it's therapy or coaching or listening to podcasts or group uh books, if you keep learning and expanding, you can give your kids what they need and want to learn and expand.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_00: But you can only give to your kids what you have yourself.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: Frankly, I call BS in this lie we tell ourselves, that I can give my kids what I don't have or what I didn't have.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: I call BS.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's a great intention, but it's not gonna work energetically, right?
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_00: So invest in your own growth, knowing that it directly benefits your children, your partners, your your clients, your patients, your the people you work with on your team.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_00: Stay curious.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_00: Keep asking yourselves the important questions and be open to not having all the answers.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: Practice the statement, I don't know.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: And breathing through that and understanding that not knowing and being willing to not know is such a gift because it opens you up expansively to more information.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_00: The more you grow, the more you can contribute to your own child's growth and the growth of your business.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_00: Us smart women, we tell ourselves that we have to know the answers to be okay.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_00: We have to know the answers to make sure that our clients are okay, or our patients, or again, or our colleagues, or our whoever it is.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens?
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_00: What would it be like for you to be willing to not know in order to learn more?
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_00: Be a grow giver.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_00: Number 11, self-belief and self-love.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: Very connected to this last one.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_00: We get what we believe we deserve.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_00: If deep down we, if deep down you believe that you're not worthy of something, love, success, joy.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean the outer version of that stacking doll that's got it all together, that's like type A, that's getting stuff done.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_00: But but what's behind that?
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: Are you achieving and trying to get stuff done because you don't believe you're good enough yet?
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not really worthy of love and whatever it is until you achieve the next thing is what's motivating you fear, because if you somewhere in there believe that you're not worthy of love, success, and joy, you will subconsciously hold yourself back.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_00: You will be unconsciously committed to burnout, to exhaustion, to not feeling like enough, to not doing enough, right?
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: So we really want to shift this so that you are fully believing in yourself and fully loving yourself, all of yourself, even the parts of you that are incompetent or messy or unsure or scared, right?
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you about confirmation bias.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this actually falls into all of these 12 confirmation bias.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_00: When we believe that something is true, our brain will only look for the evidence to prove that that's true.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, for instance, if we believe that in order to be okay, we have to solve problems all the time, we will look for and find problems.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_00: If we believe that we're not good enough, we will look for all the evidence to prove that we're not good enough.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: If we believe that there's something wrong with us, or if we believe that there's something wrong with our child, our brain will only look for the evidence to prove that that's true and we'll skip over all the other information.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a little game to play for yourself right now.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_00: We can do it together.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can do it even if you're driving.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: Take a moment and I want you to look around your surrounded surroundings.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to look for every single thing you notice that's green.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_00: Find it.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: The little things, the big things, the the things behind the things, the different shades of green.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_00: Just for about five seconds, ten seconds, look for all the green and make sure you remember, okay?
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: Look for all the green.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: Where is it?
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now if you're driving, keep your eyes open.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not driving, close your eyes for a moment.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_00: And answer this question where is the red?
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna tell you right now, the red is there, you just haven't been looking for it.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we see the world through the lens of what we believe, of what we're looking for.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you believe that you're enough, if you believe that you are okay, inherently okay, even when you're experiencing hard things, the world will reflect that back to you.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_00: You will see evidence of that.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_00: So cultivating a deep sense of self-trust and self-belief, knowing that even when life gets chaotic, you will be okay, is so important here.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_00: And in my work, I coached through this idea of the opposite of fear is not safety, it's confidence.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's I am okay even when I'm scared.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_00: I am okay even when I'm uncomfortable, I'm okay even when I don't have the answers and don't know what to do.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: So the women who succeed in this life where they have what they want, both in their career and at home with their kids, they have a deep belief in themselves, confidence in themselves, and trust that they're okay.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, you guys, success surroundings.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_00: Look back.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_00: Look around you.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do the people in your life reflect the person you want to become?
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you spending time and energy with people who are feeling stuck and complaining about what's not working and blaming other people and saying things aren't possible?
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you spending time in your life with the people who want the same things you do, who believe that it's possible, who are committed, who are engaging in all the previous 12 things, 11 things, who are really committed to creating a life where they are thriving in their career.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're sharing their voice, they're sharing their passion, passion, they're sharing their creativity, they're feeling good about themselves and their contribution to the larger world.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_00: And they have deeply satisfying relationships with their children and their partners.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_00: They are really healthy, they're grounded and steady and spending plenty enough time with their kids that they feel good about that.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_00: And they are finding joy and purpose at home and laughter, and their kids are coming to them with the things that they have struggles with because they trust that they are okay.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: Their kids trust that their parents, that their mothers are, are able to tolerate all of their the kids, are able, they know that their moms are able to tolerate their discomfort.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_00: Are you spending time with those people?
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, find them.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_00: Find them because we need to be lifted up by the same, by people who are doing the same things that we're doing, who are willing to do the quote unquote hard work, not because it's hard, but because that version of hard work brings them freedom.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_00: It brings them more time, more energy, more joy, more love, more fulfilling.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_00: Life is going to be hard regardless, right?
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_00: We know that.
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like again, life throws us curveballs.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: Life is not always easy.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_00: But are you around the people who are doing the quote-unquote hard work to make life easier, to bring more effortlessness into their relationships with their children and their success in life?
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you spending time with people who feel all the effort all the time, who are feel burdened, who are feeling heavy, who are feeling stuck?
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to throw all those relationships out.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, many of those people are people that are going to be important to you.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_00: But make sure that you also spend time with the people who are doing what you want to do.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because you will feel carried by them, you will feel lifted up to by them, and you will lift it up by them, and you will also lift them up.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so here are the 12 things.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_00: And now again, you get to rate yourself.
• 1:05:59
  SPEAKER_00: How How are you doing?
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_00: On a scale of one, oof, I am not engaging in those things.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_00: To five, I am fully committed.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_00: Extreme clarity.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know what you want, be that person, do what that person would do, and then have that life that you want.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_00: One to five.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: Focus prioritization.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_00: Are you clear on what your non-negotiables are to get there?
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: And are you prioritizing them?
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_00: Burning desire.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_00: Do you tap into that desire?
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_00: Know why you want those things and also know why they're important to you, you know, beyond just yourself.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_00: Who else do those things serve?
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're the bigger world because you have thought leadership you need to share.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there are clients or patients who you serve.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there are, you know, people in the world who benefit from your creativity because it lifts them up, right?
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you employ people.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_00: One to five.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_00: How burning is your desire and your purpose?
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, unwavering commitment.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to fail and make mistakes and get back up and do it anyway?
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_00: Are you engaging in the small little things that help you get there on a day-to-day basis?
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_00: Courage.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to face your fear and do those things anyway?
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to take care of yourself even though it brings feelings of guilt?
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to have the hard conversations even though it feels hard?
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to feel the hard feelings even though they're uncomfortable?
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't get to feel the good feelings if you're not willing to feel the hard feelings.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to take 100% responsibility for your part?
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_00: What part might I be playing in this thing that's not working for me?
• 1:07:33
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to ask that question and then take responsibility for it?
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing?
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are you resourceful?
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_00: When you catch yourself saying, I don't have time, I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough money, are you willing to say, shift that to how can I make this thing happen with the money and energy and time that I have because I prioritize that thing, because I'm in it for the long haul, because I know that ultimately doing this thing now will get me what I want later.
• 1:07:59
  SPEAKER_00: Using my time and energy and money towards the things that will help me get what I want most, that will really help me be as healthy and clear and well as possible.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I'm healthy and well, my kids are healthy and well.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_00: My work does better, right?
• 1:08:20
  SPEAKER_00: Abundant thinking.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to give freely?
• 1:08:24
  SPEAKER_00: Love, compassion, patience, forgiveness.
• 1:08:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, is that because I don't have it already myself?
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I haven't given it to myself.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_00: One to five.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_00: Be a grow giver.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_00: Are you obsessed with your own growth?
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing whatever you can to learn?
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know the more you learn, the more you can give.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_00: The more you have, the more you can give.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: Are you obsessed with that?
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_00: Are you just like, this is it for me?
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've got that clarity from earlier in the 12 things we talked about.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_00: And now that I'm clear, I'm obsessed with making that sure that thing happen because once I have it, I can give it out freely to others.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do I truly believe in myself?
• 1:09:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do I fully love myself?
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_00: One to five.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_00: And am I surrounding myself with successful people in the places that I want to be successful?
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_00: Am I surrounding myself with people who hold the same values?
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_00: One to five.
• 1:09:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you are at a five kudos, then that means that you are living that life that you want.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_00: You are living a life where you're thriving outside of motherhood and you're thriving in motherhood.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then kudos to your kids because you're clearly also then seeing how your kids are thriving.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_00: You have a family that is thriving.
• 1:09:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone's healthy, everyone's resilient, people are willing to do the hard things, people are willing to feel hard things in order to get what's on the other side.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your family is thriving.
• 1:09:51
  SPEAKER_00: Congrats, that is amazing.
• 1:09:52
  SPEAKER_00: And welcome, welcome to a life.
• 1:09:56
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't it feel good?
• 1:09:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not at a five in these things, ask yourself, why not?
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what can I do differently to get there?
• 1:10:07
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I really want to hear from you.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_00: So will you please come over to Instagram at Kate Kripke and um tag me and tag at motherhood uncut podcast so that I know that you're referring back to this episode.
• 1:10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And let me know how these land and let me know your scores.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, we're not, it is like a win.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you're like, oh, I'm a one.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Congratulations.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is amazing.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_00: That is a win to recognize that.
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're on your way.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_00: So there's no shame here.
• 1:10:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's true compassionate love and respect for the journey that we're on so that we can move to closer towards where we want to go.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_00: All right, you guys.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for spending this time with me.
• 1:10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And um, let's not mother alone.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Let's all do this together.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Hey listeners, if you enjoyed this episode, I would love to request that you share it with one mom out there who you know might benefit.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there are a lot of women who feel like they're mothering alone, and it takes all of our help to make sure that everyone feels like they have what they need to both feel successful and also feel supported.
• 1:11:17
  SPEAKER_00: So please take a moment and just share it with one person.
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you feel inclined, go ahead and rate and review this podcast because the reality is that the more reviews we have and the higher ratings we have, the more this podcast is shared with other moms out there, which makes it more easy for them to find us.
• 1:11:38
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks again for your help with this.
• 1:11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm assuming you do find this podcast helpful because you're still here at the end listening to this memo.
• 1:11:48
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks for being here and share away.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Sending love.