Latest / Jess Ask / Navigating Jealousy as a Christian Content Creator | FT Lish Speaks | EP108

Transcript

Navigating Jealousy as a Christian Content Creator | FT Lish Speaks | EP108 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl, Jessica Smith, and you already know
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Have fun and just ask God for another day? Do
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: you already know what it is?
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: And then you know it's about to get real, so
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: be sure to show your girl the love and like,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: come in scrabe God.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: For another day? Hey, hey, I know we could be
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: another way.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Fuck real bad, it's fuck real bad. Oh my god,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Oh we in here. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. It's a girl,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Jessica as Smith.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: It's a day's special day.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: But if you don't know where you've entered, you entered
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: the safe space where influencers can decompress, have fun and
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: guess what it does, just as ass. Okay, welcome to
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: another week's episode.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: How your week being? Put it in the comments below?
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: We want to know. We want to talk to you
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: because you know, we kind of do this community.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Thing and we are enjoying it. Okay, but I already
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: know what y'all love. Y'all love this song, the bus
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: down song songs Just go ahead present let me clear
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: my throat does a right, that's a rate.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: That's a rate.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Ate ate.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Man, it's so funny.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: It was just talking about this this here song that
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: you guys love so dearly. We recorded and it makes
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: and it makes me smile every time.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: You know, we can.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: We even put it on the Princes album like z
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: RAYL you know like that.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know now you ain't gonna get the
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Purple Rain like that. It's never gonna be the same.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: It's never gonna be the same the Prince.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna say, like it does the reason
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: why it does something for me, like uh, because when
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: you're so used to being you know back, you know
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying in the background, and I and I
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: and I enjoy what I do naturally, but this is
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: the season where the Lord is saying, hey, that's not
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: that's not why I placed you at I need you
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: to come forward. So every time I see somebody be like, hey, desireight,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, man, that's probably the best gift the
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Lord could have gave you.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Song. What happens when the Lord gives you your own song.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I went done with you. I was not done, ma'am.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I wanted to let you. I want to let you
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: give a chance to let the folks know.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: How you're doing desliert because they be asking, like, have
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: you taught the desireate to day?
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, man, I'm all, I'm good.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Like I have to like when people ask me that,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: because what's the funny thing is most people that know me,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: like my clients and stuff like that, they know that
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I'm always doing something like I'm always over the place,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: busy doing all these things. And in this season, I've
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: been doing things, but it hadn't been to the extent
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: of what what I'm used to, and so I'm very
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: mindful of I want to give a real answer, you
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, So I pause for me and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, I'm good. Like on the end of season,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I'm really learning to be content and allowing. I'm settling
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: into what God is doing. You know what I'm saying
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: internally and externally in environments, and I'm just like, you
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: know what, this is good. This is It don't always
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: feel good, but this is good, you know what I'm saying.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: So I'm good. Yes, I'm the people. I'm glad.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: You're good, honestly good at that. Yeah, honestly this needs
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: to be a T shirt.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Good all y'all know y'all like my outbursts, but listen,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I'm really excited.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I'm really excited right now because my sister is my
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: guest today.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: But we got one more thing, one more thing. You'll
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: introduce her. Shout him out, Shout him out. Highlight Community Highlight.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: All right, y'all know what time it is.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: And you know I told y'all this time we've been
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: on this YouTube trail because.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: You, y'all, y'all is joining the community. Okay, and we
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: appreciate y'all. We love y'all.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: This week's community Highlight is none other than Miss Nikki
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Persal okay or Persell. If I said there right or wrong,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: let me know when the comments. But listen, this is
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: this is your a name at Nikki a Percell on YouTube,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: and I'm really appreciative of you, appreciative of you, Miss Nikki.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: When I looked at your picture, I just told us, right,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, she has this familiar, familiar face I
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: don't know, and the Lord was the Lord was like,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: this is gonna be her surrounding for the next season.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be like, oh I saw this before I
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: seen this happen.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: The dreams are starting to come from outside of yourself.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: It's starting to be plaining to you, gonna be like
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I've been here before. And so I think the Lord
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: is just really putting you in a season where you're
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: gonna be able to say, I saw God do this
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: inside of me before I saw it outside of me.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: And so that's even a prophetic act. Sometimes we believe
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: we're dreamers. We we're thinking that it's not gonna happen,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: especially in the timing that we want it to happen.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: But I really received for you that God is saying
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: in this season, you can be like I've been here before.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I've seen this for this familiar. And I even hear
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: the Lord say he wants to bless your hands again.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: You are I don't know if you're creative or whatever,
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: what you do with your hands, hairstyles, whatever you do
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: with your hands.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: I hear the Lord say that I want.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: To bless your hands again. And so I just thank
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: you for just bringing a part of this community. I
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: thank God for you see this. I just send blessings
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: to you and yours, you and your legacy, your children's
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: children will be blessed based on what you do in
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: this season. So we love you Nikki, we adore you.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Nikki, you know my button?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: But did you hear it? I feel that clause.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, y'all, I gotta I gotta sit up straight for
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: this man.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Listen, let me put we about to go fight.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I am so excited, and I will elaborate on my
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: excitement once we get in the conversation. But today's guests
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: is a special guess you guys, some of you may
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: think you don't know her, but when I tell you
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: after this episode, you gonna know. She is the definition
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: of the real deal.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I've learned so much from her. We actually met on
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: social media. That's wild. Okay, we'll get into that story
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: later later. But she is in the music industry. My
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: girl be speaking, you know what I'm saying, Like she
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: got a few bars. She is a wonderful wife. Okay.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: They have the blame the Blame Media group or is
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: it group blame Media?
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'm mad in group. I don't know. Oh my gosh.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: They have that media company and the Woman.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Of God has a podcast call I'll just let myself
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: in that.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Is on serious, serious, serious and radio.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, we ain't even yet, So this is we're just
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: getting blessed by the celebrities over here. Okay, come on,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I introduced to some and present to others.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: My sister Lyz speaks very professional around here. Don't be
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: telling my trying to go and be like you. Let
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: me tell you. Okay, but this is beautiful.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: What you're doing is so special and and favor is
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: following you clearly, you know.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: So just allow it to rain down and allow the
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Lord to take you where you're supposed to be when
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: you're supposed to be there. Listen, Okay, y see how
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: she's already started. She already started.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: When I tell you, I am so excited, I am
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: so loud.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: I'm used to pushing the now well girl, who I forgot?
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Who I'm loud?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Y'all y'all make a mean put loud across my phone here?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Know list this is this is God and God's timing,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: because like I said, I told the people that we
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: met on social media because of you.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Let's start.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I can't remember if it was a comment at first,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: but since got in my DMS and I gotta start.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I gotta give y'all some backstore become. When I said
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I'm about I researched it.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I had to go bait.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Girl, so and I gotta I gotta tell you, tell
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: you it on my on my point of view, this
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: is somebody.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: This is last year. I feel like I've known you longer.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. And I was like, god, this was just
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: last year, April First.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: To be exact, right, you send me a message and
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: you say, Sis, you inspire me. Thanks so much for
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: your vulnerability. I would love to have you on my
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: pot whenever you're in Atlanta and.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I'm looking and I'm like, I am in shock. I
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: am in shock.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: And this is why, because you know, when you get
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: so caught up in numbers, right, and I had seen
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I when I think you liked my post. I don't
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: know what initiated the communication, but we end up liking
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: each other posts and commenting, and then you that's when
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: you came in my DM and I was so shocked
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: because at that point, I know you've grown since then,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: but I know you had twenty thousand plus followers, right,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: I only had like three compared.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: I had like a thousand followine.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I was shocked, Okay, I was shocked, and so for
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: you to say I inspired you was wild to me
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I was getting it was a struggle because you know,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: being as a being a creative, it it can cause
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: you to compare yourself, and you embraced me. So I'm
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: gonna say publicly on my platform, thank you, thank.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: You so much.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Your your platform was literally my first experience being interviewed,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: and God did that on purpose because you taught me
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: how I needed to be treated. I'm I'm trying not
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: to go there fast, but it's a grace on your
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: life that I don't even really think you will understand,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Like you just embody a school like it's almost like
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: your your life is such a great testimony that I
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: can just look at you and learn from you. Girl.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: No, I'm flowers.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with this question and we're gonna dive
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: deep because I just had to give you your flowers
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: because this is how we met.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: We met on stuck ground. This is my sister. She
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: is supportive of just as a podcast we being girl.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you did it, like celebrate, celebrate the
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: next woman, celebrate the next creative, because we really supposed
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: to be outside just hating.
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: Yes or just not or just quiet, which is also
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: a form of Hayden, but that's another conversations and loud
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: when she accomplishes something real bad. Let me just say
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: this about the whole you know happening in your DM
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: or whatever. Any person that I interact with, or you know,
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: if somebody follows me. I look at every person's page.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: He follows me, every single person if the if the
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: notification comes in my little hearts, you know space on Instagram,
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Know what it's called. Wherever you get your.
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: I look at it. And the only times I don't
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: follow back is if you have zero inspirational like if
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: it's just you, your nephew, your mama's birthday cake and
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: I like it, or if it's inappropriate, if it is
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: at all inspirational, at all encouraging, I'm gonna follow you back.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: I just don't see a reason not to. I don't
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: care about however many like, because when I only had
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: a thousand, two thousand, three thousand followers, I was still me,
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: I wasn't somebody else, and I was still just as inspirational,
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: just as encouraging, just as vulnerable. And so I appreciate
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: the people who gave me that chance of a follow
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: before I had a big following, you know, so I
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: look at every person, you know. So when I saw
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: you doing what you were doing, I saw the podcast
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: and just you know, the jokes and all the stuff,
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: I was like, dang, like she is dope. I didn't
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: care how many fos I don't still remember how I
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: just love you like I'm just like she's.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Dope, you know.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: And so I just I want to give you some
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: flowers too, because it takes a lot to keep showing
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: up when the numbers are not changing. And now I
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: was there, and when we can talk about that for
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: years doing music, making inspirational videos.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Because I see it on your platform, we can talk
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: about it. Now we don't have this conversation. I say
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: it on your platform, and y'all go watch that episode.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: It was it was a vibe like that was our
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: first interaction on camera.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, and girl, no, let's talk about that. Hold on,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: let me there's a ray.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: She gets the podcast that we did, the episode that
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: we did on her podcast and releases it. Guess when
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: she releases it the week of the one hundredth episode.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I had no idea, but the idea the clip that
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: she uses is when I am answering her about how
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: we I connected with not coach JD, but Tabitha Brown
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: for the moderation for birmingam that's wild girl. So then,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: because you know I was keeping a surprise, I said, no,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: she's supposed to know.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: Turned that in the week before, the week before one
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: and more, I said, I want to do women that
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: you know. I want to do women that I really
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: enjoyed having on the podcast. Make sure yes is in there,
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: because he sends us on. I don't know what he's said.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: I just told her make sure that your episode.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Was in there. So you gotta think him too, the
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: man not on my honey.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: He made sure, was like, make sure she you know,
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: because I just want people to hear you.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I feel like, and Tam said this too. No, I'm
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: calming the table like.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: People just don't know yet. It ain't got nothing to
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: do with how whether your worth or if you're good
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: or nothing. And I want you to really internalize that
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: it ain't got nothing to do you when you.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: And much I feel like you're already blown up.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: But when you get whatever number in your head that
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: you think is the number right, because it really don't matter.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: We're gonna talk about that in a second.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: Two against there's people with I got my tissue right here,
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: time's more followers than me. That's not making what I'm
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: making about relationships. About your characters, that's another thing. But
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: whenever you get there, you're going to realize I was me,
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: I was just me, Tabitha was that Tabitha whoever?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: David said he was that before Instagram existed, you know,
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: And you are amazing. I just want you to I
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: always try to encourage you because I know that the
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: Devil will be working, you know, and he only works
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: on those of us who he knows can actually change
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: the world. Because if you couldn't change nothing, well she good,
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: she whatever, you know. But when I always tell people
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: the Devil get nervous on my feet hit the ground,
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: and I know he do.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: I know when when I turn.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: Over, man, my feet hit that wake up and he's like,
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: here we go, because you know, I'm gonna tell somebody
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: something about God, something about you, something about themselves. I'm
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: gonna tell him you're a liar. I'm gonna so so
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: he gotta he gotta try to get you, you know.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: And I just see myself not just for you, but
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: for many of the women in my life, you know,
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: as one little notch and and and you know, one little.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: For the devil. Whatever he's telling you.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: I sent my friend Porscha prayer yesterday. She had a
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: show in Virginia and I was like, Hey, I'm just
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: praying for you, and she was like, you must be
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: tapped in because we'll tell you I am going through it.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: And whatever I sent her, she was like, this is
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: exactly what I needed. And I always think, when the
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Lord puts something on my heart to say to someone,
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: you better say it because there's a reason. There's a
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: reason he's asking you to say this, dude, this check in.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: So you know, I really do try to be obedient
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: to that.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: And thank God, thank God for you.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: What you really you, what you really say is that
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: you are so you're humble enough to obey God in
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: the moment.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: So we're in this the year of Yes, three sixty five, right,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: and sometimes we make those moments bigger than what they
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: have to be, like more difficult, thank you, Holy Spirit,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: more difficult than they have to be. While we're here,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: what has been the most interesting yes that you've given
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: God this season?
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: The most interesting yes? Okay, there's a private and then
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: there's a public. Okay, I would say the most interesting
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: public yes has been delving fully into media. Yeah, like carpets,
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: other types of events, editing, learning all the behind the
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: scenes stuff, learning the lives of it. You know, it
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: is something I'm really one of those people. I just
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: want to show up and be the talent. Yeah, you know,
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: and even to be honest, being on the media side
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: of the red carpet was odd for me. It was
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: fun and it was actually better because my husband was like,
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: how do you feel like not being the talent? I
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: was like, it actually because I feel no pressure. I
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: need to come here and ask my questions, sit down,
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: listen John p K and go home. You know, when
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: I was the talent, it's like I gotta make up
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: and you know, all that sort of stuff. But delving
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: into that part of my my dream has been such
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: a great yes. It has stretched me, it has taught me,
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: it's humbled me. It's just been really good. I think privately.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: The most interesting yes that I had to give give
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: God and this season has been a yes to hardship.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Oh she's talking.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Good and really to be unglamorous. There are things that
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: come with success that are just not cute. It's not sexy.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: It's not what you want to put on Instagram.
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: You know, it is real. It's the real life stuff.
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: And having to say yes, I will apologize, Yes I
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: will learn, Yes I will stop talking. Yes, Yes I
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: will shut up. Yes I will pray for my enemies. Yes,
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: I will bless those who curse me. Yes I will
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: support those who don't support me. Yes, because sometimes God
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: tells me to do something, I'm like for them, you know,
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: say this person's name.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: They don't do that.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: For me, you know, And that's been the most interesting.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: And then to be very honest, just having to die
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: in my flesh. You know, it's like you can't eat
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: everything you want, you want to sleep, come on, you know,
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: you got to do the things that I'm telling you
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: to do. And it is not easy and it's not cute,
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: you know, and it ain't content.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: That's that part. Don't make it to y'all.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: Like I'll tell people, at the end of last year.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Last year, from April to December, I went to the
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: gym one hundred times. Right, it didn't make it to
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: the internet one time. You know why, because it wasn't cute.
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: I'm an associate Minnesota church that never makes it to
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: the internet when I'm there putting bags on chairs and counsel.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: It never makes it the internet because it's not glamorous
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: and it ain't always easy, you know, when you're up
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: in the morning praying for people, and you know, so
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: that's the yes, that that's the real yes.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm about I'm about to put you in park
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: real quick. The costier rented. I'm about to park you
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: real quick because you just said like five things on
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: my way here, thish you here, God, you hear me.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to hold.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Because I don't know if y'all can feel this. You
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: said so much so soon because being on this side
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: being a creative being, understanding having that understanding of I
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: gotta be everything to everybody and give my submit my
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: sens to God.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: But I'm wondering where my cup is.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Being filled, Like it's it's a whole journey and my
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I got fletch check, That's what I'm calling I got chick.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: I got a fletch check from my spiritual mom.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: This week and it was so beautiful that it was
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: so beautiful that I thanked her. I don't ever think
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I don't ever think I think I thanked anybody to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: be beautiful, especially her, because you know me strong. But
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I accepted it because exactly what you said, right, I
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: was feeling. I was like, man, just like you, especially
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: on my YouTube. Now, I'm trying to see who I'm
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: communicating with, who's in the community or winning, because I
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: want people to feel like family, like I don't want
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: this to be a space where it's like, oh, you're
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: supporting me, like it's one sided. I don't want that,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: and so I've been very intentional. But as I'm looking
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: at who supports, I can also see who is not supporting.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Who's not supporting, okay, And the biggest thing about about
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: the people that's not supporting, it's the people that you've
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: been ten toes down with, You've been in ugly trenches,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: you've been in stre So I got directed or redirected
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: because you feel you feeling me, and I don't know
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: if y'all feeling me, but I got redirected to the
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: scripture that says and Colossians three twenty three, where it
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: says work willingly, as if you were working for the
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Lord and not man God. I got faith flesh checked
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: because it's that who are you working for? Ess?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Who sent you?
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing this? And then she had to
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: tell me was like, hey, where you get your fulfillment
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: from is not the same place you expect the support from.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: And where are you poor? Is not all?
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: Let me tell you, but God gonna send that. He
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: always sends the encouragement and the reason that we don't
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: see it is because we mad that it's.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: Not coming from X.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: It's all around you. This is so let me tell
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: you something I have and my my my husband has
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: helped me with this tremendously because he's a very living,
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: let live kind of person. It's like, why are you
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: worried about that?
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: And he has had to really help me that the capacity.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: He's like, very few people.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Alive have the capacity to be who you are, the
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: type of friend you are, the type of person you
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: are like that.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: He's like, not.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: Only is it like heart, it's not common, you know.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: He's like, I'm not the type of friend to my.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Friends that you are.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: You're like, I'm not, you know, like and I'm just like,
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: you know what. I had to really realize that there
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: are people are some most people are doing what they have.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: The capacity to do.
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: That's so good, and I happen to have a higher
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: capacity now to be fair to myself. One of the
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: things that I've started implementing is I only do up
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: to what I feel okay not being done to me.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: I live in a place of reciprocity, right, And what
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: that means is it doesn't have to be exact reciprocity.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Right. So if I can do.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: Seven things for you and feel fine without you doing
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: one thing back, but if I do eight, and I'm
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: gonna be tight that you haven't done one thing back,
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: I just stopped at seven.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I used to just go to.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: The wall for my friends and pick up everything. I
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: had to realize, Okay, this is you're starting to resent
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: this person, you're starting to feel so just do what
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: you feel good about doing without receiving anything back and stop.
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: And for me that's really been helpful because people people
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: can only.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Do what they have the capacity to do.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: And when it comes to support, especially as a creative,
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: come on, now, people, even people that you love, get
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: to a point where they don't think you need their
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: support anymore. You got it, You're good. Everybody's liking it. Pictures,
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: everybody's leaving commons. Everybody is so on and so on,
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: and so you know, there's not something that I can
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: see from a personality. If I see it, sometimes you
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: don't see it algorithm and you just don't.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: See it, you know what I mean.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: But if I see it, I'm gonna leave a comment.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna repost it. I may not even tag you. You
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: just maybe looking at my stories and you see it.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: You know I'm gonna because.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: It takes two seconds.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: It takes two seconds. And we do it for these
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: people that we do not know, who don't care about
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: us at all, So why not do it for the
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: people that you care about? So I just think, you know,
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: we gotta look at as creators. We gotta look at
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: how many strangers care. You know, I get long pair
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: of stranger at least once a week about something something
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: I posted, something I said, something I want something, you know,
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, you know what, I need to start
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: looking at that, because the truth is, you have given
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: the people you know so much more than you will
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: ever give these strangers. And if they weren't grateful for that,
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: if you weren't grateful for the hours of advice I've
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: given you over the phone and the time I poured
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: into you that why would I expect you to be
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: grateful for an inspirational clip You weren't grateful for me
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: in person.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Girl. So it's cool.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: I love you and I'm ana treat you and all
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: of that, But why would I expect you to celebrate
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: and glean wisdom from what I'm sharing with the world
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: when you wouldn't even glean the wisdom from the real
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: me sitting in front of me and your back from
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: on your couch.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: So I didn't know we was gonna go here.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: I kind of did, but I was okay, But my
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: girl will tell the truth and you know, let me know.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: So I think it's not too long ago where you
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: did a post regarding jealousy. It might have been when
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: you were in a car or whatever.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I can't remember exactly, but I know talking. But basically,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: how the person that's receiving the jealousy like settles in there.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I want to know, like how because I feel like
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: in this creative space, right, it's easy to be jealous,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: it's easy to be envious. How would you how would
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: you tell us as creatives, especially on your walk, especially
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: as Christian content creators because we're not just creatives because
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: everybody calling them creators that we were gonna we're gonna
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: know that, believe us, believer. How would you teach someone,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to work this right, teach someone how to
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: manage when they're experiencing.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: The envy, being envied and jealousy? How do you have that?
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Do you approach it in conversation? What? What would Liz do?
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Because list got a whole bunch of wisdom.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm lucky enough that whoever is envious or jealous
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: of me knows how to hide it. I don't deal
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: with that a whole lot because they don't.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: It don't really make its way to my doorstep. I
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: don't like they don't let themselves in near me. But
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: I'll say this, And speaking speaking of Christian influencers, the
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: Black Christian Influencer Conference in Atlanta is coming up juneteenth.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: If you're not registered, you should be registered. Getting the building,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: I can't say too much, but it's gonna be up
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: to be amazing getter. Jackie Horbrook doing an incredible job
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: curating and creating the CEO and all that. But what
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: I say about this, here's the thing about jealousy, right,
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: it is support and disguise m M.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: The person.
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: If they're jealous of you or envious of you, it's
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: because they want to be like you. It's not because
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: they actually hate your right, and so what you what
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: you have to be careful with is befriending or letting
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: this person in, because people get to a point where
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: they're mad.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: That you and not them.
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: They're just mad and they could even be more talented
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: than you.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: They could.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, how many times have you
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: been in the room supporting somebody you was more talented
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: then hello, But I don't have a jealous spirit, so
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: I can just be there and be happy and be
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: helpful and give you my ideas and all because I
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: know there's more where that came from. And so the
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: I say all that to say you have to have
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: a level of compassion for a person who's jealousy is
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: pouring out, because it's almost like when you when I
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: smell you, you yourself.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: You just said something that just I think can't be
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: washed over.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: You have to have compassion much for somebody that is jealous.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: Because think about it, you know how black you know
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: Grandma should say if I if I can smell you,
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: you've been smelling yourself. You mean you smell yourself. That
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: means other people have been smelling you for whatever. Yeah,
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: the jealousy is pouring out. That means you can't check it.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: You've been jealous of something. I've been jealous of people before.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: I've been envyous in such a situation. But I have
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: the wherewithal to check it and get it together quick.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: That person can't. They're so jealous, so envious, they can't
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: even hide it anymore. It has overtaken them. So there's
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: a level of compassion that you have to have, but
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: you do have to have it from a distance because
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: the person who's jealousy is pouring out is dangerous. That
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: means there's a lack of self awareness. We've all been
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: to everybody. Yeah, everyone gets insecure. Excuse me, everyone gets insecure,
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: Everyone gets jealous, Everyone has feelings of envy.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: I hate to say the word normal, but a normal person,
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: a person who is emotionally well can check that, or
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: even if they can't check, yes, that's a better word,
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: a healthy person can check it, or they will remove themselves.
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: A person that has that stays around someone that they
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: are jealous of, so jealous of that they can't control
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: showing it is unwell, and you really have to be
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: compassionate toward them, you know, you have to pray for them.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: You have to have grace and mercies toward them. You
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: cannot take it personally. You can't take it personally. It's
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: like a child insulting you. They have not developed emotionally
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: enough to control.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: We all see somebody and we think she shouldn't have
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: done on off, you know things. But we are adults,
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: so we can control ourselves. Yeah, children who have not
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: given to an emotional maturity cannot.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: So you have grace.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: When a child says something in it's like, Billy, don't
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: say that, you know, but you ain't gonna beat the
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: town because they cabody that you have compassion, you have grace.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: You know, you're still correct.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: I just literally my sister and I on the wait here.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: I was telling her about a situation. Yeah, somebody in
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: my life was doing some things that I felt read
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: a little weird, you know, And I said something in
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: the moment, but she was like, you're gonna talk about it,
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: And I was like, you know, I'm gonna have some
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: compassion and grace this time.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: If it happens again, we're gonna have a different conversation. Yeah,
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: but you have to.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: Sometimes people's life circumstances are so messed up and you're
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: so blessed and they are so angry, not at you
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: at the situation.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: But you know what's crazy. This is the interesting thing.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: You're jealous of me, but you really don't know on
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: the back end of it. I'm going through hell, hot
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: water burning, I'm going through that.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: You could have it too, if you work hard. I'm
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: not doing anything that you can't do.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: That really be the part for me, That really be
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: the part. And not only can you do it? And
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: come on, I'm a resource to you to get it
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: done and have offered you every single thing I have.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Come on, come on, you're not.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Even gonna be Your way is not even gonna be
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: as hard as mine.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: So what are we talking about? Girl?
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: When you look at me not as the obstacle, but
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: as a resource source, then you get the benefit of
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: what I had to pay.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Hard work for that money. Girl. So even so, no,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: this go.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: This is why our relationship works because it's certain things
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I be dog on, I'm not taking you where I'm going.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Already we have conversations outside and it doesn't really matter
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: about that, but somebody willing to say, you know what,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: I see you, I'm gonna take you with me. I'm
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna be a resource. Hey, if I'm ever
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: on the red coma, gir, I ain't never done this before.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you with me, I'm not going by my
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: what should I do? Whatever?
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: I need, cameras, I need whatever, it's nothing advancement, it's
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: nothing that one of us could need. And then I
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: have this relationship with a few, very few people because
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: I used to be too much, haven't you know what?
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: You start to realize people are not gonna take people
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: not gonna use it.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: So I just stop offering.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: And when I say stop offering, not even in a
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: negative way, because you know it's here. So when you're ready,
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: I'm here. But I used to be let me do content,
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: You do content, Come and you can use my cameras
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: you pull you want. And I'm like, okay, I've said
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: this four times. Yeah, this person has not texted me
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: once and say, hey, what can I do? So when
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: you're ready, I'm here, hopefully i'm in town.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Because they're getting busier.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: That's another thing. You're gonna miss it.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: You gonna time.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: And I know because I've missed opportunities. I'm talked about
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: this on my YouTube. There are things that I've absolutely missed. Now,
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: God is gracious and he has replaced opportunities. But it
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: was not that opportunity right because I'm wasting time. I'm scared,
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: I'm procrastinating. There's a cost to procrastination.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: I paid it.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: That's why I don't play those games no more. When
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: God tells me to do something, go somewhere, send an email.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: That I do it, and I do it quickly quickly.
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: When someone who I respect sends me a sermon to
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: watch a podcast, to watch an article to read, I
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: do it and I try to do it within forty
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: eight hours, especially if it's business related, because they're sharing
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: this with me for a reason. I know when I
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: share things with people specifically busy, this related things, specifically
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: Christian entrepreneurial business related, that I'm sharing it with you
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: for a reason because I believe this could advance you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: And so I realized, listen, I gotta, I gotta, I
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: gotta say a swift yes to God. It can't be
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: no play play because you know, my mother used to
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: tell me delay, delay is disobedience.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Delay.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: Yes, this is disobedience. Like you know, So I really
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: I try to do what I gotta do quickly. Now
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: I don't always, you know, excel, but I at.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Least try listen so much to the point where you've
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: gotten to this point of a relationship with Holy Culture. Yes,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: tell tell us about that. People that don't know what
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Holy Culture is, tell them about that and how it's
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: tied into this serious ex radio Like I am. My
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: mind was blonged and both so excited, so excited, tell
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: us how we get to Holy coachure.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: So, Holy Culture is the only serious ex summaryradio station
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: dedicated to Christian hip hop. So Kirk Franklin has his station,
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: which is gospel, and I believe that might be one
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: other Christian station, gospel like music station on Serrus XM.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: But Holy Culture is the only station. And the CEO
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: known as Trig. His name is James Russell, but everybody
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: calls him Trig. He first of all, I have so
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: much respect for not just Trig, but the whole staff
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: at Holy Culture. You know, we don't start one meeting
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: without prayer. We get on Zoom Trigg, it's like, let's pray.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: It's it's very much. We're not just a radio station
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: that plays Christian hip hop. We are Christians, you know.
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: And I really appreciated that. And basically the way that
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: it all went down was that they were looking for
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: a female voice in podcasting. Right. I always laugh because
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: I think that there's so many, you know, other ways
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: that they could have went.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Like so many, Wow, so many.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: This is why you have to be secure when God
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: gives you something, Because I could have let imposta syndrome,
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: and why me? And why not this this person got
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: a podcast? Why didn't they pick her?
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: This Christian rapper got a podcast.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: Why didn't pick her?
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: She got more followers than me.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Plenty of people, plenty got way that they could have
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: picked options.
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: And I really do believe it just was a grace
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: all my life because my podcast was it wasn't even
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: a year old, it was they picked me off of
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: about eight episodes. I have no big connection or nothing,
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: none of that to anyone there.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: It was just we really like what you're doing, and
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: we'd like to be in talks.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Now, we weren't talks for about a year, trying to
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: figure it out, trying to make sure that it made
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: sense for them, to be fair. And then once they
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: decided it made sense for them, it said the psychiotract.
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: We had to make sure it made sense for us, right,
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: which is why I still own my podcast, which is
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: why I still can post it on my YouTube after
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: they have used this. That's very important. That's very important.
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: I'll take less of a lot of things for ownership
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: because at the end of the day, it's my face,
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: is my name, is my voice, and if I don't
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: have any control over that, that's not a deal.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: That's slavery. That slavery.
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: So they were very They never tried to play like
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: they never tried anything funny. They were very fair. We
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: kind of went back maybe on one or two things.
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: They were accepting of that and it was great. And
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: I say all that because we were like, you know,
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: you don't got to tell all that. I tell all
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: that because I want podcasters to know your voice is
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: good enough, Your voice is good enough the right place,
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: the right podcasting company, the right station, or just you.
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: There are YouTubers making more money than be in this
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: serious ex some deal I did.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: That's a fact.
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: Sometimes God is gonna say, no, you don't need nothing.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: It's you this.
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: Sometimes guy's gonna say, you know what, because this is
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: what I believe over my life. This podcast, that the thing.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: It's great, but I.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: Would like you in the media space.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so good. Really think that's how it's happening.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: That's so good.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Let's let's get you connected with them said even in
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: that this is so this is I want you all
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: to really hear this because and I'm gonna let you
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: explain this. Because I said that she was a rapper. Right,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: she's in a music industry and she's good. Okay, like
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: the way she dressed. Just think about her lyricism. Okay,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: like good.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: You you have this dream of being this rapper. You
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: have this dream, you say, okay, God obey you. God says,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I want you to start a podcast. You submit your
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: desire to rep.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: I want you to hear this because y'all probably don't
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: understand what's going on.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: You submit your desire and you go with God on
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: a podcast that you really didn't think that you're gonna
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: be doing.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: You get to eight episodes and serious.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Xm' I gotta walk it down from my audience.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Serious XM says, I think you the one. Yeah, are
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: you serious? So this is what I take from it.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Be obedient at the time you're supposed to be obedient
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: because I've got to meet my next promise and.
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: Talk how you talk, act how you act. People can't
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: find you if you're being an imposter, you know. I
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: got on my podcast and I talked how I talk.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: I say the thing that you know, how am I
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: talking regularly? And I really appreciate that God allowed them
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: to see that that was good enough that that women
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: would resonate with that, that women in my age bracket,
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: a little younger, a little older, you know, but in
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: that bracket would resonate with the things that I had
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: to share and say. And I appreciated them because they
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: also were like, listen, if there are any past episodes
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: that you want to use, you know, we're open to air,
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: and those as well, they were so like, we just
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: love what you're doing already. Don't change anything, you know,
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: And I appreciated that. And so we went evergreen, which
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: means a podcast every week, which has been challenging, talk
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: about jobs and families and we like to get some sleep,
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: you know, and and so it's it's definitely a sacrifice.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: But when I tell you nothing and you can relate
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: to this, I'm sure the fulfilling that it gives you.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: Even being here right now, I was dead tired on
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: the way here.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like, Lord, because it just gives you so much.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: It gives so much back to you. And I really
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: do believe, especially for the woman who and I say
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: this to people all the time. You know, we're a
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: lot of us are waiting for a place in the
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: church of polepittter.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: This or that.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: Pick your phone up and tell the people what the
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: Lord has said to you. You don't got to do
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: it aggressively or trying to get back at the bridge.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: Do it for the Lord. Yeah, because let me say, he.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: Will spread that message so easily and quickly. You'll be
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: my first viral post.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: I had whiplash. I was like, what's happening right now?
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: And again, I was making these videos for years. This
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: was not the first time I sat in front of
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: a phone and talked about the Bible. I've been doing
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: that for years, yes, you know. But God had a
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: plan for that specific post. He had a plan from
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: my specific podcast, and I don't waste any And let
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: me just say this to you, don't waste one second.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: In doubt when God blesses you.
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: Wow, I don't think you know, Oh, I shouldn't have
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: been well, is this somebody? I just stopped myself in
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: me when I first started having that thought. When Serious
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: AXM came calling, I said, it's you, you the one.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: Come on, don't you think about nobody else. Don't worry
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: about it, because what happens is when you do that,
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: you stop showing up well because you don't.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Believe you deserved it. You don't think you deserve to
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: be there, so you don't show up well.
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: Right. And so the second that I that God gives
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: me an opportunity when I get this, this, this last
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: red carpet that I did. We sent them the same
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: email the year before. The only thing we added this
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: year is Serious ExM Radio. My manager was that he said,
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: he said, I'm gonna show you. He sent them the
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: same exact email. And I was still the girl when
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: I said earlier, I'm not somebody different. Now it's just visibility.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: And when God says, hey, it's time for people to
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: see you. Who are you to say it's not. He's
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: just saying, okay, now some people to see you. It's
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: time for whatever reason.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: You're ready. He's ready.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: The earth is ready.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: His other children.
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: I always tell people sometime God not blessing you and
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: don't have nothing to do with you. His other kids
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: ain't ready. Would you, Ma'm gonna give you something that's
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: gonna hurt your siblings?
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: She wouldn't.
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: Some other kids are not ready. It's okay, don't worry
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: about it. But when he says go, just go. So
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: I'm in a got season right now, it ain't too
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: much I'm turning down. That's so good unless it's a
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: completely out of line right, Well, it's very obvious.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Right, that's because you don't it's so clear. Don't finish
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: your statement when I say this is so good and
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: so on time.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Because what I think is that we as Christian sometimes
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: we get into even Christian country creators. I'm speaking to
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: this ram because that's who we are, right when we
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: talk about Christian country creators.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: You think that we are. There's a space that I've
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: seen where we're not helping each other.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: And I think that we have to remember whose we
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: are to remember, Okay, is it my time? Was it
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: their time? And that's why I just I'm gonna go
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: back to our relationship. I love our relationship because even
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: speaking to the conference that you're going to, I don't
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: I say it on your platform, gonna say it on here, y'all.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: I had I submitted to be one of the I
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: can't even remember the social media influencers or whatnot. And
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I just did moderate for Tabitha
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Brown whatever. I was just trying to use that and
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta know, I gotta know. And then
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like weeks later, I got to
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: pull up my fault. Liz speaks, Hey, how you doing.
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: I'm with.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: But that's the same thing I wanted to do. I
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: had to take that moment and say, am I gonna
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: support her? And am gonna be mad?
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: And she supported me.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe I was proud and proudly even more because it's
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: what as long as one of us is there, and
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: we gotta get to the point where are we thinking Kingdom?
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Are we thinking Jessica, are we thinking lish? Are we
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: thinking what's gonna benefit us? Are we thinking what's gonna
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: benefit the kingdom, and maybe I'm not the right person
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: to benefit this part of the kingdom.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: And maybe I'm not the best.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: Person to benefit and expose people to the light of
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: God and God, I gotta have the language or the vibes,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: or maybe it's something I just need to glean from, you.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying. Maybe God, it's a lot of maybes.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of maybes. And when we get stuck
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: in a place where we allow jealousy, allow envy, allow
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: our discomfort with ourselves or what we think we lack
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: to override us, you're really allowing the enemy to win.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: You're really lying to say, Oh, I ain't gota, I
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: ain't got to worry about you no more. All I
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: gotta do is put this on this on the algorithm,
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: let you see.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: It and let you get mad. Yep. Yep. Your voice
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: is needed. Yep. And the industry is just small. And
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: we talked about this on the episode with me.
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: Anytime you don't get an opportunity, the chances that the
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: person who got it is someone you either know distantly
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: or know directly is very high because that's the industry.
• 45:47
  Speaker 4: And you have to make a decision. This happened to
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: me so much in the music industry, especially when I
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: was in New York. I had to make a decision
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: very early on I'm gonna support, I'm gonna show love,
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm not gonna This is another big one.
• 45:59
  Speaker 4: Don't don't overthink why they're not me. Don't overthink it.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: Sometimes it ain't got none to do with nothing. It's
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: just that person chose that, and that was that. You know,
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: it's not a matter of if they're better than you,
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: or if they're this, or if they're that. And a
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: lot of times, you know, as Christian creators, we we
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: start comparing ourselves to each other in a way that
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: is so worldly because we're not in competition.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: We have the same job.
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: It's it's to shine light on the King. And like
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: you said, as long as one of us is getting
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: to do it, period, that's the point. And the beautiful
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: thing about our relationship as well, is there's always going to.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Be space for us, you know what I mean.
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: There's things that they haven't come into fruition yet, but
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: that you've pitched. And I always mentioned, I'm like, do
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: y'all know about her? Do y'all know about her? Podcasts
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: do y'all know about She's funny, she's this, she's that.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: Because I just see if.
• 46:56
  Speaker 4: Somebody would like me, they would like you, vice versa,
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. So I'm like, if you
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: like me, you're gonna love her. And I just love
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: putting that energy in the atmosphere and apply again to
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: what happens going on that BC. You know what I mean,
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: because you got to think about it like this. I
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: love the story of when Jesus was in the boat
• 47:15
  Speaker 4: with Peter and he says, you know, he tells them
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: to put out to shore again, put their nets out,
• 47:21
  Speaker 4: and they say, Jesus, we have been fishing all night
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: and we haven't caught anything. But because you say so,
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: we will put out again. And when they put those
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: nets out, they caught such a big amount of fish
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: that their boats started to sink and they had to
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: get other people from the shore to come help them.
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: Sometimes God just want to see if you're gonna do
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: it again. He wants to see if you're gonna ask again.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: I got told no for to be and my tro
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: was last year. You want to say you're gonna ask again,
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: You're gonna try again. I've gotten told I get so
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: much rejection. And that's the thing this internet, will you
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: see everybody's yes, you see when the bill came through.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: You see when they have the the code or this
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: or that.
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: You don't understand all the ignored emails that get sent out,
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: all all the opportunities they get told no for all
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: the time, all the things they wish they could do
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: but they just can't afford it. All the stuff you
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: just see a highlight reel. And so I think having
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: relationships with people who are, you know, in the same
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: field as you is very important because not only can
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: you celebrate each other's winds.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: But you can help each other with the wounds too.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: You know that.
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: Don't go don't feel like you can't call a friend
• 48:27
  Speaker 4: and say, man, I really wanted this opportunity. Something fell
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: through for me the other day, something that I worked
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: so hard on and because of an artist tour schedule,
• 48:37
  Speaker 4: it's not gonna happen. And I was so hurt because
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I work so hard to connect to all
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: the dot you do all the things. And I just
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: called one of my friends and I was like, Hey,
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: this is I'm hurt by Like this is really bothering me,
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: and I felt stupid because it's like, girl, that's not
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: a big deal. But they held space for me. That's
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: what you do. You hold space for creative you know,
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: so let people hold space for you too when it's
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: not going right.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: That's so good that just Plush checked me. It did,
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: it did because I you know, but you know what
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: I'm about, almost like Desiraate.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I do that with Desiree. I think when I say
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: I thank God for Deiate, I will call this thank God.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: Because would not be as whether you thank God.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: But no, that's so important because it's like, be the
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: honesty that you have with yourself is just as important
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: as a transparence you have with others. Right, And so
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: it's like if I'm not honest in the moment, say
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: I really wanted that, right, and the fact that we
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: have friends that were in a circle, everybody don't need
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: to know, you know what I'm because everybody where you know,
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: at least you got that.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear at least nothing.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: The moment.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: Let me gree for a second you with that, just
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: be quieted. I just I just want to have this
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: moment so I can get over it. But no, that's
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: so good. So I want to I want to. I
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: want to touch on this before.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: We land the plane on this because I think this
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: is important and special to your story and I think
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: you can help us out. At one point you were
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: single and the next thing you went single, and then
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: now the fact that you married, if, if it's fair
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: for me to say, has enhanced your creativity? Can you
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: walk us down because we single, we single right now,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: we single right now, okay.
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: Right now, right now, and okay, right now, right now now.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: At that time, and appreciate the time that we have
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: until we get escalated into that situations. But we need
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: to know, like what as creative women, because we are
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: in the same industry as you, we're gonna have we're
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: working on some things for media and all that stuff
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: like that. What should we be looking for and how
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: do we How did you know that yours was yours
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: and he was going to.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Enhance what you had? That's good.
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: I didn't, and I wanna be very honest with you.
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that we could even be where we
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: are right now. But I'm gonna tell you what I
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: didn't know that allowed me to know that we could
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: go on life's journey. My husband has been through some
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: very difficult things. He lost both his parents twenty eighteen
• 51:18
  Speaker 4: to cancer, and when we met, he was still serving
• 51:22
  Speaker 4: in his local church, happy as a clan, smiling all
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: the time. My husband has the biggest laughed, super giving,
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: never has a bad attitude, just.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: A great guy. And I thought to myself, if I lost.
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: One of my parents right because we met in twenty
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: twenty one, so that was not far, I wouldn't be
• 51:42
  Speaker 4: this happy. I wouldn't be this giving. I wouldn't even
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: believe God, because one of the things we talked about
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: is how much he prayed for their healing and deliverance
• 51:50
  Speaker 4: from cancer. And God said, no, right, not right now.
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: God said, I have something better. I'm gonna take the
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna bring me right. I knew that we could
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: go through anything, and he wouldn't leave God, not me.
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: I knew this man can go through anything and he
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: won't leave God, because how do you stay with God
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: and you lose both your parents to cancer. His dad
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: died on his mother's birthday, then his mom died not
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: too long after, and not only did he stay a Christian,
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: he stayed a serving, happy, giving man. Men leave the
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: church for nothing, the church because the birdy like got married.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: I mean, don't take a lie for some people in general,
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: not just man because I love my brother, but people
• 52:36
  Speaker 4: leave the church for nothing, leave God for nothing, you know,
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: during the pandemic, just hard stuff. And I thought, oh,
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: we could go through anything together. He's not gonna leave God,
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: which is of paramount importance to me. I do not
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: want to be with a man who does not put
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: God first. It's the top of my list. You ain't
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: even gonna like me for long because I want to
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: pray about everything, not gonna like me for long because
• 53:01
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna bring God into everything.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: So that was the biggest one.
• 53:04
  Speaker 4: And then I think also, you know, I before we
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: started dating, we were getting to know each other long distance.
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: And he came down for a release party I had.
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: I have got a song called Black Done Crack. He
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: came down for the release party. This is maybe the
• 53:19
  Speaker 4: third or fourth time I've seen this man in my life.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we went on a date.
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: We met on a blind date in March. We went
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: on a date in April. I think we were on
• 53:27
  Speaker 4: two days in April. I went to New York and
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: so this is gonna be the fourth time I've ever
• 53:30
  Speaker 4: seen this yet. Yeah, he comes, he touches down, and
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: from the time we got to the place where the
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: party was to the time the party ended, he was serving,
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: helping my sister put decals on the wall, setting up
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: shark couterie.
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: Fixing the tech.
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: When the video went and played, just serving, and I
• 53:51
  Speaker 4: thought to myself, I haven't heard him complain once. Now
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: I am even gonna talk about.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: It past people. People no talk No, Liz, you know,
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: talk about it because we the one. I'm just don't. Don't.
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: Don't be with a man who can't see you winning,
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: who can't help you without complaining. You know, I've been
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: in situations where, you know, people just couldn't take it.
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: They couldn't take that I was winning. They couldn't take
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: that I was excelling, you know, And it comes out
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: in small, aggressive, nasty ways. You know, it comes out
• 54:30
  Speaker 4: in what you don't say. You know, I once had
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: somebody tell me I didn't I ain't hit you up
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: because I you know, I feel like you got enough fans.
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: We're not You're not a fan, We're friends, We're friends,
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: we had dated. You ain't a se congratulation that's weird,
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. And my husband is my
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: biggest cheerleader. If you ever watch him watching me, he
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: can't even Sometimes he's behind the camera cheese and I'm like,
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: you are, You're just so cute me, while he just
• 55:09
  Speaker 4: loves me, you know, and he's just so supportive. And
• 55:12
  Speaker 4: so I would say, you know, for the woman that's
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: a creative, for the woman that's an entrepreneur, for the
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: woman that's just a boss, right, you have to be
• 55:19
  Speaker 4: with a man who is not intimidated by that and
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: who is fascinated by it. My husband is fascinated by me,
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: and he ain't no slouch. He's a very much a
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: boss on his own right in terms of his career
• 55:32
  Speaker 4: path and his degree. He's more educated than me. All
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: makes one way more money than all that stuff. Right,
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: So it's not about because people think, you know, strong
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: women gotta get with like a man, and they and
• 55:40
  Speaker 4: I always use Oprah and Stepman.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: People don't know.
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: How successful and creative Steedman is. Strong women don't like
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: weak men hell at all. If you ever see a
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: strong woman with a weak man, trust me, she's not
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: a strong woman. Strong women don't like weak men. And
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: strong women don't emasculate men. Strong women are kittens at home.
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: The strong women don't emasculate men. I'm telling you, I
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: hate that narrative. I'm like, your man, is it it?
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: Trust me step and running the show over there. That's
• 56:10
  Speaker 4: why you've been there for forty something years.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: She's not let know the situation.
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: And so yeah, so I would say that, and just
• 56:18
  Speaker 4: be your full self because no man will know how
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: to support you in this space if they never see
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: you in this space.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: He has to see you being.
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: Just ask the podcast. Don't get all weird when you're
• 56:31
  Speaker 4: in your space. You know, when I'm in my space,
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: is I'm the boss?
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: When we're not in those spaces, I'm not the boss,
• 56:39
  Speaker 4: and I don't.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: Try to be.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: I think it's something so because you know this is
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: this is almost like a cis moment right now. But
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: and the area that I'm struggling in when it comes
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: to day in, are you dating the area that I'm
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: struggling in, the area that I'm struggling when or even
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: in the past, right, because I can't say I have
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: like I've had a whole bunch of experience, right just
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: being like boyfriend, girlfriends type things.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: I don't have a ton of experience, right, so, but.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: The experience I've had have cut, they kind of cut,
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: and so I I questioned myself. I questioned myself as
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: like I'm hearing like I'm too masculine or.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm too No, I'm not trying
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: to get right, but.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just you know, my girl from up North,
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: she has no filter. I'm just I'm this is a
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: transparent moment. I too masculine, too much. I don't know
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: how to submit. I don't know how to do it,
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like, but I'm still single, and it's
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: like it conflicts me with my desire to be a wife.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: I still want that, but it's like, God, you got
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: me in this space, and if this is what we're
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: gonna do, cool, Like I really I'm just being a
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: transparent because do you know.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: This is what we do?
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: It just ask like I've kind of lost my fuel
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: there and so hearing you say what to look for,
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It's helpful, That's why I
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: wanted you to go there. But it's helpful if it
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: ain't helping nobody else's helping me because you're there.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: Can I just ask you a couple of questions? You
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: could just ask me. Listen, y'all, this is how much
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: I love coming up out. Okay, I'm gonna ask you.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: I don't want try to see my face.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, you say that you're struggling with, like if
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: you want to be married, right, not necessarily, if I
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: want to be buried, but the few, like the the
• 59:10
  Speaker 4: I won't say the focus on them because I was
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: just like, wanted it so bad at one point, but
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: then it's like I question, It's like, is this meant
• 59:15
  Speaker 4: for me?
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: That's healthy.
• 59:17
  Speaker 4: I think it's healthy to not be obsessed with marriage.
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: I was not obsessed with marriage in my singlehood. I
• 59:24
  Speaker 4: wanted it, but I wasn't obsessed with it. I was like, listen,
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: if I knew it was going to take a certain
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: kind of man. Yeah, and you can't just go get
• 59:38
  Speaker 4: a Rolls Royce, you know, off the lot. You gotta
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: appointments have to happen, and like they're just things, you know.
• 59:46
  Speaker 4: But I think what I would ask you, we're not
• 59:49
  Speaker 4: touching on the masculine thing, because any man that thinks
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: any woman is too masculine it's not masculine enough.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: Bars. So that's.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 4: Because I think there are women who show up stronger
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 4: because life has made them that way. But that doesn't
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: equate masculinity, and a person who understands masculinity would never
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: say that to a woman.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: So that's a that's another conversation.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 4: But when it comes to not submitting or being too much, right,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: what parts of that feedback can you take and work on?
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: I think it's the I think with let's start with
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: the too much idea. The too much idea is like,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: what is too much?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: That's me? That's my question, right. I know I'm extra,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: Like I'm just extra. I'm extra about it.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: But I was talking to my homegirl not too long ago,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: and she was just like the way, She's like, your
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: energy is so attractive that it attracts everybody, and people
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: are like, oh, this is I don't know how to
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: get here.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: We're coming. I'm being too honest.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Even in high school, I was called, oh, you flirt,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: you a flir with anybody. You do this, you know
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So I still struggle with that's like
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: I can't be nice, Like I'm genuinely not trying to
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: sexualize this.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: I really just want to have off a good time.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: I really was one of a good conversation. You gonna know.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: If I like period, I make it. But being on
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: the other side, it's like, why are you talking to
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: them like that? What makes me special? Or you know
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? So okay, So that's I think it
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: might be too much. But then also the submission is
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: like mm hm, oh you just got me. I just
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: heard the Lord say this. It's the control and control
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: because the fear of letting something, releasing parts of myself,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: or just trusting that you can take care of this,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: or it's it's it's scared. Yeah, it's scared because I've
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: seen it go downhill. And one thing and I don't
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: play about is me yep. Same we drowning because you
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: didn't expect the boat before we got in, and I
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: normally inspect the boat, but I trusted you to inspect the.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: Boat or the big old hole in the boat, and
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: we didn't know it because I didn't expect. You know
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying. That part kind of I.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: Want and the thing is I want to do like
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: I want to submit. I want to be the soft girl.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 4: I want to you know, submission is not you not
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 4: checking the boat. Because when you're in a partnership with
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 4: someone who trusts you, if they know you're a better
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 4: inspector of the boat, they're not only going to desire you,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 4: they're going to require you to expect the boat.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: There are parts of.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 4: My relationship and my marriage that my husband you are
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 4: better at this. Come look at this. What do you
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 4: think about this? And there are parts that I'm like.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: You're much better at this. Come look at this. What
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: do you think about? Submission is not.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 4: He just do everything and you don't think about nothing,
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: you don't worry about nothing like that's not submission. And
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 4: I think we've gotten that wrong, you know, in the church.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 4: And I think even when it comes to the whole
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: too much thing, right, too much? Where does this person
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 4: feel like you're too much with them or you're too
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: much in general? If they feel like you're too much
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 4: in general, I just have the person for you, right,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 4: because you are a star. That's why we're sitting here.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 4: We don't try to dem the stars. You don't like stars.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: You go in the house. It's not for you.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: It shouldn't be at the campsite. It's not for you right,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 4: But there is a such thing as being too much
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: with your man.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: I remember my husband telling me before we got married,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 4: you know, you state your opinion like it's a fact,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 4: and that's not gonna work.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: For me, because I do because in my mind is
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: a way. Yeah, and what are we talking about? You know?
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: I had to check myself because when my husband would
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 4: disagree with me on something, and even if something small,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: I would be like you, I just fel like you
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: just disagree with me for the sake of disagreeing with me.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: If somebody else was saying this, you would agree and
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: he would say, or I just don't agree with you
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 4: on this. It could just be that you could actually
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: be wrong what or we could just see this differently,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: you know. So there were areas where I was too much.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: I would get very easily annoyed over simple things were
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: walking into a store, I hold the door for somebody.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: They don't say thank you. I'm like, you're welcome. That
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 4: was too much to him. He's like, baby, you a
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 4: stranger cannot have that much control over you. If you
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: held the door, it should have been because that was
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: what y'all, you know, what God told you to do.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 4: You would do it all accounts of your heart.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: You can't. I walk around the whole store. This is why.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: I see, this is why.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: And don't let the person not be one of us.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: I'm being I'm just keeping keep.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 4: Don't let it be a white person because I'm like,
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: see Dann title and this is why he had to
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 4: check me.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: That's too much.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 4: You're putting too much on that. One of my friends.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 4: Don't do something for me that I would do for them.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 4: And now I'm walking around and see you see how
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 4: she did it.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: And he's like, baby, So.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: It's okay for a real man is going to tell
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 4: you when you're doing too much that doesn't benefit you.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: But me, Liz speaks extra. Oh, he's fast. He loves it,
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: he loves it.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: He thinks it's the funniest, coolest. He's never gonna tell
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 4: me calm that. He's never telling you too loud.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: You know that's another thing.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 4: People start shushing you. Those are not your people. I'm
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: loud if we're not in a church, commra or someplace
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 4: where I'm being a bank where I'm being inappropriate, which
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna do because I have tax If I'm
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 4: somewhere and we let I'm loud. If that's not for you,
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: I'm not the person for you. And so I think
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 4: it's what you gotta do moving forward. When you meet
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 4: the next guy in Jesus' name, you got to differentiate
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 4: between what he's sharing, right, some of what he's there's
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 4: always a takeaway, and we can't take it so personally
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 4: that somebody is trying to, you know, trying to shut
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 4: us down. They may just be trying to help us.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 4: And a lot of the success that people see in
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 4: my life since getting married is because my husband's not
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 4: just financial provisions, but his spiritual provisions, oversight of our lives,
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 4: his honesty about my character, him telling me, hey, if
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 4: you you cannot let things affect you this much, you
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 4: can't be this mad about something so small, because what's
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 4: gonna happen when God starts really giving us shout. These
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: are the things that really grew me. And if I
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: took everything as a criticism or whatever, we wouldn't have
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: even got into marriage. I would have been in the
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: dating season saying, oh, he just he's not you know,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 4: so it'll make sense. You're just you have a discerning spirit.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: So I'm sure any person you let go, need.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: To be let go fact then.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 4: But in the future, in the future you too, Mistersira,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 4: and for my sister who's here. All the ladies, don't
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 4: be so quick to write somebody off if they have criticisms.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: That's love.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: When someone loves you enough to tell you the parts
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: of you that don't really work for them. They're communicating
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 4: that to you because they wanted to work. They could
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 4: have just walked away. And I said, nothing Kepta pushing you,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: know so, But you do need someone as a creative
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 4: who likes that about you. You gotta have someone who
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: gets it.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: Because I said, I heard some buzzing, but know that
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: who likes.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 4: That about you you amazing And if they can't get
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 4: with it, then it's not the person for you know,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 4: some men want a quiet woman.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: And there's money of them out there. Because I'm not
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: heard and I'm not heard, you know, I'm just looking at.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: Him wanting you to be light skinned. That's never done.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 4: That's not If you want a light skinned, skinny girl,
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 4: you should go get a light skinned, skinny girl. Don't
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 4: you want a quiet girl. You want a girl that's
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 4: then go get don't try, don't come to me and
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 4: then try to little girl me, try to humble me,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 4: try to take me out of my element. You know,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 4: when my husband asked my father for my hand in marriage,
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 4: my father said.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: Now you know she likes expensive and you know she yeah.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 4: Don't come over here trying to little girl me. Don't
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 4: don't come over here trying to white air force me down.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 4: That's not what I do. Only you know, don't come
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 4: over here trying to Michael cores me. When you know
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: what type of baggine like you should have got a
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 4: Michael Coros's girl. There's nothing wrong with him, girl, love
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 4: him to death, lots of love them in my life.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: That is not who I am.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 4: Don't come over here trying to change me into that.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 4: So sometime and I s I should with somebody the
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 4: other day, a breakup with the wrong person is the
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 4: most successful thing you will ever do in your life.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Jesus.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 4: Some of us are staying in relationships because we so
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 4: afraid to be alone, or even marriages. And I don't
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 4: preach divorce. I do not preach divorce, but sometime a
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: thing has ended there. It's been in fidelity, disrespect, abuse,
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 4: biblical reasons, and you staying in something because you don't
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 4: want to look like a failure. Baby, that's the most
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: successful thing you'll ever do. The most successful thing I
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 4: ever did was break up with the last God broke
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 4: up with because that allowed me to meet my husband.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 4: That's the most successful pocision I ever made, because look
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 4: at everything else it led to. My success would not
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 4: be what it is if I stay in that place.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 4: So if there's a guy you're talking to him, it's
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 4: not working out, cut your losses and keep it put.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: That's success. That ain't failure.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 4: Getting out of a bad relationship or even just an
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 4: unordained relationship. And I have to be bad, you know,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 4: because I don't think I've ever had a bad relationship, right,
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 4: But getting out of the relationship that God has.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: Not ordained for you is the most successful thing you
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: could ever do. So you know, be patient, Wait on
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: the Lord. Wait on the Lord. He shall renew the stress.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, I'm done being transparent because I feel
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: that when we cut these.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: Cameras off, I'm feel the gin you feel me, bes
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: al right? Yeah, this was good? That's it, right? You
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: dating faces? I love to hear it, you know, I
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: love to hear. I love to know what to pray for. Yeah, amen,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. I love it. This
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: is beautiful. I love it. That's all you got to say,
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: is it was good?
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to gather myself that nervous No, this was
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: really good.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: You know. I took me a couple of notes here
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: because she sut what I was. What it was three
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: things that I had kind of heard as you guys
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: are talking, and the reiteration of you are enough, right,
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: regardless of what you think about yourself, just know that
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: what God has given you in the place that He
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: has put you in, like you're enough of that place.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: And we just have to be obedient in his timing, because,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: like you said, delayed obedience is still disobedience. And we
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: don't know, like God has already set the foundation of
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: your of your destiny and in the earth already, right,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: so we don't know why he's telling us to do
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: certain things right, and so when we're delaying it, we're
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: delaying time. Right. There's a lot of different pieces that
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: are that are having to happen in order for us
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: to get where we're trying to go.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: And so when we're prelaid.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: You know, we're delaying other people, like other people are
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: trying to get in place to do the thing because
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: he has a plan, right and where all a part
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: is playing and so being obedient. And when you guys
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: are talking about the people and the support, not only
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: is it not that you not only are you enough,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: Sometimes the people that we are, you know, trying to
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: pour into and trying to bring with us, they just
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: don't have the capacity. Yeah, right, And so I keep
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: seeing a picture of like a cup. You know, you
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: got like a coffee cup, then you got like a
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: gallon jug. Right, you're this gallon drug. Like who you
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: are is who God created you and naturally to be
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: right now, this is just where they are. And if
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: we're constantly trying to pour and we're wondering why like
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: we're not getting the support or the things that we're
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: expecting back, is because you just don't have the capacity
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: to hold what you are, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: So this really blessed me. And I love to sitting
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: back and just gleaming, and I get heart checked, cause
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: I get fletch checks all the time, you know, and
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, okay, Lord, I hear you.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: This is good and so this was a really good conversation,
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: even down to the dating conversation.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, like I I'm very intentional
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: about just trying to tell Jess that the things that
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: she desired her heart, it's real.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: It's okay. It's not like you're not too much.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, what you what you want,
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: It's okay to want those things because God want those
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: things for you. Sometimes we just have to do some
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: things differently, you know what I'm saying, in order to
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: get what God has for us.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: So this has been good. Thank you for gracings. Yeah,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: thank you for gracing this today.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I am I'm gonna end this
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: because I feel like my tears are starting to come up.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie to you. I already knew. I
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: already knew this was gonna be good. But I'm so grateful.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: I am so grateful for you for you being you
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: like real talk like you. You are definitely it for
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: me and like for Desiate is one of my friends
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: that'll be like I ain't feeling her, but she was
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: like no, I remember her from the podcast summit, like
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: I was, and I was so like, that's how I
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: get my confirmation of people being good, because I'll be
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: so accepting of oh yeah, let's let's bring up. My
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: friends will be like, who is this real?
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: Bad? Like So, I'm grateful that you are approved, but
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 2: this cannot.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: Be your last time we cling it, clacking it listen much.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: We didn't talk about so much. We didn't talk about
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: so much, so that I almost forgot my last session
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: of what I normally say. There's a ray almost but
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you just put her back on
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: the screen. So as in the tradition, as you know,
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: if you came anything with your heart or from this conversation,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: if you feel led to say something, I want to
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: give you a moment to just leave your heart and
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: have final say.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 4: Oh, so many things are going so well for me
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 4: right now, and it's easy in these seasons to try
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 4: and take credit. You know, I've worked so hard for this,
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: and I've done this, and we've done that, and my
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 4: team and whatever, and it's easy for someone to give
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 4: you advice when things are down, to.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: Say, just trust God, just trust God.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 4: But I'm going to talk to somebody who's in their
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 4: winning season right there, j K Linkr is my winning season,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 4: right Trust God in this season, have your quiet times
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 4: in this season, be in your prayer closet in this season,
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 4: get advice, stay pure, stay humble in this season. Because
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 4: one of the things that I am fighting for, and
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 4: y'all can pray for me on this, one of the
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 4: things that I'm fighting for is to have the same
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 4: posture I have when I was begging for all these
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 4: opportunities in this season. I don't want to lose that posture.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 4: I don't want to get so busy that I'm having
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: shorter quiet times, shorter prayer times. I don't want to
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 4: get so hyped up on who I met and who
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 4: I interviewed and whatever that Now I'm more excited about
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 4: that opportunity than I am about the opportunity to spend
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 4: time with God. The opportunity to spend time with God
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 4: should be doing that.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: That's the celebrity.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 4: That should be the most exciting part of my day,
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 4: not who I'm want to interview that day, or what
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: place I'm gonna go or who's gonna see me and
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 4: I And that's a fight we all want to act Christians.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 4: We all want to act like, oh I just I'm
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 4: doing this unto the Lord. Let me tell you something,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 4: it's very easy to start getting high your own supply.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 4: I ain't even done that much yet, and it's attempted
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 4: me very much. So I am just praying and encouraging
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: you to join me with fighting to have the same
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 4: heart posture that I had when I was trying to
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 4: get to where I am I have now because I
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 4: know that there's other places I want to go. And
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 4: if I lose that heart posture, who am I even
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 4: going to be when I get there? You might still
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 4: get there because heart work does, you know, do something
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 4: that's in the Bible right. Heartwork does produce something. But
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 4: I want to get there as me. I don't want
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 4: to get there some diluted, you know, sinful version of myself.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 4: And so that's the biggest thing on my heart right now.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 4: Just trying to keep the same practices even elevating them,
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 4: spending more time with God, reading more spiritual books, get
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 4: it more, you know, trying to do the things I
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 4: did at first, you know, from my relationship with God
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 4: in this season, while still enjoying the blessing.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: So that's so good and a good reminder of the
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: reason why we got to just keep him at the
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: foundation and make sure that we're giving him my I
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: guess every day. Listen, I am fool, I am. This
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: one went a little longer, but it was good to me.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: I'm no, no, everything that happened today is needed because.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: When it falls on your ears, the Lord really gives
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: you with information. He really gives you and baby you
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: as a whole. Guilt man.
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, I love it, y'all tell us what y'all think
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: about it in the chat if y'all felt, you know,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: any part.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 2: Especially the day part, because I feel like that's been
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: a go like but just any questions. Rightly is on
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: Lit's is on every every platform. Hit her up. She
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 2: is an open book and she just really has a
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: heart for God. And so I love you. I love you, partner,
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: I love your community. I love you guys.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: Until next week, remember life could be much more simple
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: if you just asked.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms. A deep
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: Jessicas Smith, I know I won't see you back until
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: next week, but until then, remember to love, always yourself
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: and always thank.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 3: Thank God for one another day. Hey, hey, I know
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 3: we could be another way. Hey, pray thank God for
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 3: another day. Hey Hey, I'm just thankful for another day.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 3: Hey hey another day? Oh, another day wise, another day
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 3: to get it right, another day to rise up, another
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 3: day living, Another day. We loved ones. I always remember
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 3: hold it down for a ball one yelp