Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Advantage of Vulnerability 6.2.26

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just: The Advantage of Vulnerability 6.2.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:02
  This idea of Udah we would we were applying in the form of
• 0:05
  awareness, meaning we said we're going to finish this and then we
• 0:09
  can do shuffles a little bit and then we'll close.
• 0:11
  So the idea of Udah is that a person recognizes and has this
• 0:16
  overall sense of shamans everywhere and explain that has
• 0:21
  one one get there. You get there by opening up your
• 0:24
  eyes to realization. Every single situation you're
• 0:28
  in, every single conversation, you're doing everything 'cause
• 0:32
  there fine. Very clear and truth matter is
• 0:36
  when you apply yourself, it's actually pretty easy to attain.
• 0:39
  If you stop and think about any moment.
• 0:41
  Of course you believe God's there.
• 0:43
  There's no part of us that says that Gemma not in this spot or
• 0:45
  not in that spot. We're very much aware of where
• 0:48
  God is. The only problem is he says that
• 0:51
  we have a built in. What's the word?
• 0:55
  A built in ability to ignore this, which means we're
• 0:58
  naturally used to forgetting about the fact that is not
• 1:07
  something that can firmly be envisioned in your mind so
• 1:11
  clearly only through the means of constant steady realization
• 1:22
  of this point. It's not enough to know this is
• 1:24
  one of those that you can know or you can't see.
• 1:28
  And unless you figure out a way that you're going to see this
• 1:31
  constantly, unless you figure out a way that you're going to
• 1:32
  get this on your mind at all times.
• 1:34
  Maybe like Schrader opens up, she BT Ashamedita meet pressure
• 1:39
  in front of my eyes at all times.
• 1:41
  Somehow, some way, you get yourself to realize where you're
• 1:44
  going to a meeting. You say OK in the name of
• 1:47
  Hashem. By Hashem, I should have
• 1:50
  success. Whatever it is that you do to
• 1:52
  bring Hashem into your situation at all times, then only then do
• 1:57
  you start to really feel it. Which means you know it's there.
• 2:00
  You know Hashem is in every single situation.
• 2:02
  It's not a part of your life. And you believe that.
• 2:04
  If I ask you on a real honest day, is Hashem part of this?
• 2:07
  Of course you say yes. There's no part that you believe
• 2:09
  Hashem is not there. But at the same time, our minds,
• 2:13
  our wiring does not naturally see God.
• 2:17
  Maybe it's because we see other people.
• 2:19
  Maybe it's because we feel like, you know, there's a way for us
• 2:21
  to be in control. Maybe it's because we're dealing
• 2:24
  with so much mundane stuff in life that that pushes away the
• 2:27
  realization of God. And if that pushes it away, then
• 2:30
  this concept of awe and fear goes away as well.
• 2:33
  The whole fear is based on the sense of presence, and the whole
• 2:36
  sense of presence is based on your realization of Hashem is
• 2:39
  here. And what you need to do is
• 2:42
  figure out a way to bring Hashem into every situation, to realize
• 2:45
  He's there. Maybe it's based on history,
• 2:48
  based on the past, based on vulnerability, whatever it may
• 2:51
  be. But somehow, some way you force
• 2:53
  people don't say by Shamma Shamma when they're going into a
• 2:57
  meeting that's it's a slam dunk. They say it when they're going
• 3:01
  into a meeting with a buyer that they're nervous about, right?
• 3:04
  A major speaker who has every speech under control doesn't say
• 3:08
  that line. But a guy was nervous about his
• 3:10
  speech. He says that line, which means
• 3:12
  use your vulnerability to your advantage, use your awareness of
• 3:16
  areas that can go wrong to your advantage, All these different
• 3:19
  things to bring us Sham into the picture, right?
• 3:21
  And once you do that, then there will be an overall sense of
• 3:25
  where God is. And when you have that, you have
• 3:28
  this awe. What's the goal of this awe?
• 3:30
  The goal of this awe is that this can guide you.
• 3:33
  This sense of realization can guide you to become better
• 3:36
  person. We say all the time, there's two
• 3:38
  ways a person can grow through love or through fear.
• 3:42
  Love is great, but it's only there when you're motivated and
• 3:45
  fear is great. It's only there when you
• 3:47
  recognize you need the recognition to have that fear.
• 3:50
  You can go a full day, you can go a full life.
• 3:52
  Person go their entire life knowing about Hashem, being
• 3:55
  raised in the back that Hashem exists, but not really
• 3:59
  recognizing the. Quote is familiarity breeds
• 4:02
  contempt. Breeds contempt.
• 4:04
  Yeah, and when you're so familiar with someone, you just
• 4:06
  don't if you take advantage of it.
• 4:08
  Right, that's but over here contempt isn't content negative
• 4:10
  word like, but over here it means more like familiarity
• 4:14
  brings up. We have a concept similar of
• 4:17
  that. They say the term is mitzvot,
• 4:23
  anashima, lumada. Mitzvot become by people, they
• 4:28
  become a lumada. I mean, they become natural.
• 4:31
  They become, yeah, they become like old news in certain sense.
• 4:36
  It's a very interesting thing. I don't want to pinpoint this on
• 4:39
  any person per SE. I don't want to say this in a
• 4:41
  negative way, but I always have this issue, which means you come
• 4:44
  back from Israel, right? And you say it's obviously the
• 4:47
  most amazing place on earth. The people there are amazing.
• 4:49
  Everything's amazing. But then you see yourself, the
• 4:51
  several aspects maybe. And every rabbi I speak to over
• 4:54
  there, every person I speak to over there looks at us and says,
• 4:58
  wow, the people in America, they're growing at a faster
• 5:00
  rate. And you're trying to figure out
• 5:01
  like, what's the what's the translation at this point?
• 5:04
  Why is it that there they have everything when it comes to
• 5:07
  spirituality and holiness and Dushan and everything, People
• 5:10
  have everything. And here somehow in this desert
• 5:13
  that we live in, right? And it is a desert somehow we
• 5:17
  have a certain degree of growth because we need it.
• 5:21
  So in a certain sense, I think the desert say it, we have a
• 5:27
  certain community aspect that they don't have.
• 5:29
  They they're fine. You can translate the way
• 5:31
  everyone's got their own description.
• 5:33
  But I, I think the overall theme is that the fact that it's a
• 5:36
  desert. Now, of course you go there for
• 5:39
  the good to lean. You don't come here.
• 5:40
  There are great people here, but you go there for the great
• 5:41
  people and you go there just to have a conversation with a
• 5:44
  random person and say, wow, I'm just a regular person over
• 5:47
  there. You can pick up so much from
• 5:49
  every basic person in Israel. Absolutely.
• 5:51
  I'm not asparaging either way. I don't want to say that at all.
• 5:54
  But what happens over here is that the wasteland that you
• 5:57
  know, the the desert that we live in, in a certain sense, the
• 6:01
  the barrenness of this country when it comes to Kedusha forces
• 6:06
  you to basically need to bring in Hashem because you don't
• 6:09
  bring in Hashem, then you don't have a sham in America, right?
• 6:14
  Whereas there you can have a guy like my wife's pinpoint.
• 6:17
  They have the whole thing. Her friend or maybe her favorite
• 6:20
  vision is a guy online in LA in, in in the Ben Gurion airport,
• 6:26
  who I can't tell you what they got look like.
• 6:28
  And he's walking with the helium the whole time he's wearing
• 6:31
  helium as you push him online. And the guy between you and I
• 6:34
  looked very much not our way. So that's a strange thing.
• 6:38
  But that's basically everything is is high sham and
• 6:40
  everything's. So it's all there.
• 6:42
  And that's both a good thing and a bad thing at the same time in
• 6:45
  this sense, which means when you're forced to bring God into
• 6:49
  the picture, you actually, in a certain sense, do a better job.
• 6:53
  I told my wife there's a classic concept that they say in the
• 6:58
  Shiva world, you're better off. Some say you're better off
• 7:01
  growing up among Goem and you are growing up among all Jewish
• 7:06
  people. That sounds like the most
• 7:07
  ridiculous statement on earth. It doesn't.
• 7:09
  All right, what's the reason? The reason is because you're
• 7:12
  forced, right? What's up shop guy?
• 7:16
  You're forced to you're forced to, you know, bring into an idea
• 7:19
  family because if not for that, I know I always say this, I grew
• 7:22
  up on a block in deal, right, where none of the kids went to
• 7:26
  my kind of school at all at all. Some of them went to public
• 7:29
  school. I played sports with the kids
• 7:31
  every single day and few of them were in public school if parents
• 7:34
  were not showing my Shabbat. And I think I always say I think
• 7:37
  it was the best thing for me. Are you crazy today?
• 7:40
  My kids, they're all around, you know, kids in the same school
• 7:43
  and it's all the same style and the same ashkafah, Nothing
• 7:46
  better than that. You would say in a certain
• 7:48
  sense, this is a dangerous conversation because in a
• 7:50
  certain sense, that's for sure true, right?
• 7:53
  But at the same time, if you could, right?
• 7:55
  That's the thing, you can. You're not.
• 7:56
  You're not a run-of-the-mill like everybody.
• 7:59
  Like we grew up in Maryland. We're no juice.
• 8:03
  No juice. Like I was haunted for horns and
• 8:05
  Hells and that pulled the devil beaten up.
• 8:09
  I mean, you could you could relate.
• 8:11
  Oh, right. And.
• 8:13
  That's why I've. Left and it forced us like my
• 8:15
  mother ended up should work almost becoming buying freezers,
• 8:20
  having kosher food for tourists and from there we went from
• 8:24
  inviting people for Shabbat dinner over there and then it
• 8:27
  went to you know it. You carry these things because
• 8:29
  you hold on to what doesn't exist.
• 8:32
  Yes, you bring Hashem into everything.
• 8:34
  So this is a very delicate balance.
• 8:37
  Now again, there's no perfect art because they've been many
• 8:39
  people who live in Israel become way greater than many people who
• 8:43
  live in a nowhere, no man's land in America and become nothing
• 8:47
  because anything's available. And there's no perfect solution.
• 8:51
  But there is something to take out of it, which is if you are
• 8:55
  forced, if one is forced to bring Hashemi to their home
• 8:59
  condition, into their lives, to bring Hashemi to everything,
• 9:03
  then they adopt this much greater than if they just rely
• 9:08
  on the default. If you rely on the fact default,
• 9:10
  Hashem is there. We all know it, we've been
• 9:12
  raised on it, so it's good, right?
• 9:14
  If you're not forced to remind yourself of that, then this
• 9:17
  power, which is this vision of Hashem being involved in
• 9:20
  everything will not exist. Yeah, if you'll have time, so
• 9:23
  you remember Hashem, but it won't be all the time.
• 9:25
  But if you're forced and if you force yourself to bring Hashem
• 9:28
  in, the lesson is no matter the way you are, no matter what
• 9:31
  position you're in, no matter if you're in a vulnerable state,
• 9:34
  not vulnerable state. If you live in a non Jewish area
• 9:38
  or a very Jewish area, I work in an office with a full of gleam
• 9:41
  or office with a having me hand in the office.
• 9:43
  It does not make a difference. At the end of the day you need
• 9:46
  to realize I need to create a Hashem sense in my life.
• 9:51
  I'm forced to bring it in. I could live in Benabrock, I
• 9:55
  need to bring it in or I could live in, I don't know, Wyoming.
• 9:58
  I need to bring it in. It's exact same requirement
• 10:00
  without doing so. It's at the end of the book for
• 10:02
  a reason. Without doing so, it will not
• 10:05
  exist as we done begam. That's what Kevan chadavar Hulk
• 10:12
  mehushan. Because the realization of
• 10:15
  Hashem is distant from our feelings, the mind will not
• 10:19
  bring it in El ahar rova ayun vashkava unless you put a lot of
• 10:25
  analyzation realization begam. Even after you do this, it still
• 10:30
  could go away. Yasuh, that's you in the middle,
• 10:33
  but not kill, you can lose it easily and lawyer to meet.
• 10:37
  I love harbe. Unless you make this a constant
• 10:39
  in himself, that's clear. The same way you can really
• 10:47
  think deep to imagine Hashem in your life can hassa hadat.
• 10:51
  Equally as significant is the ability to lose it very fast.
• 10:54
  Who'll be too lying in you? In you who are Mavsida Gadoshwa.
• 10:57
  It's very easy to lose it. Yeah.
• 10:59
  Matt. Matt Tardut Obrad.
• 11:01
  Son, you can be very busy. You're very distracted.
• 11:04
  You can be very settled. You name it.
• 11:07
  You could be. You can think to yourself.
• 11:08
  Of course I share Messiah. It's a joke.
• 11:10
  That song they sing for kids, they need to apply to adults.
• 11:13
  Yeah, they do. Cole Hassakhadat to be too.
• 11:17
  Ah, to me. Did any allowance of my mind
• 11:21
  moving off this point or therefore allow me to forget
• 11:27
  about how much I shouldn't exist and if I allow that, I'm in
• 11:31
  danger? You know, we don't like living
• 11:33
  in vulnerable times. No one likes living in
• 11:35
  vulnerable times and we can't remember the time.
• 11:38
  I know it. I personally believe it's
• 11:39
  partially because of the news and whatever it is.
• 11:43
  I don't know if the news drives the craziness and that drives us
• 11:45
  crazy or the craziness. I don't know what it is.
• 11:49
  It's been vulnerable for years, right?
• 11:51
  That has been a time. I always think of the 90s or
• 11:53
  whatever it was. That has been a time back when
• 11:56
  when things were more settled. We don't live in that kind of
• 11:59
  time anymore. And it's never going to be that
• 12:00
  way again. Then you and I until Mashiach
• 12:02
  comes. And that's in general negative.
• 12:05
  The idea that you have to always turn on the news and be scared.
• 12:08
  The idea that no matter what day you open up your phone, you can
• 12:11
  hear something significant about Israel, something major, right?
• 12:15
  And I personally, you know, it's too much for my blood pressure
• 12:17
  and fine, but the overall outcome can be a positive.
• 12:23
  And how is that? How is apostles positive You're
• 12:26
  forced to realize I'm always standing on one leg.
• 12:29
  I need to be more aware of God. And if I do that, then my
• 12:34
  overall approach to the world will actually become a much more
• 12:36
  settled world. That's you got your mind based
• 12:39
  on the vulnerability. So if you allow yourself to be
• 12:42
  too settled, then you're you're running the risk.
• 12:46
  I'm forgetting Hashem. But if you allow yourself to be
• 12:48
  reminded because you have all these triggers that bring in
• 12:52
  God. My work, no matter how good it
• 12:54
  is, it's scary. My family, no matter how good it
• 12:57
  is, it's scary. My home and how good it is, it's
• 13:00
  scary. My community, whatever it is,
• 13:03
  the Jewish people, Israel, health, mental health, you name
• 13:09
  it, There's always something that's very much vulnerable.
• 13:12
  And either of that can give us all extreme inability to breathe
• 13:16
  and function properly, or it can force in the existence of Ishen
• 13:21
  you get that you're straightened out because if you have the
• 13:25
  realization just how much God is here and just how much you need
• 13:30
  him, just how much his power exists, all these different
• 13:33
  things, you know what happens automatically you're forced to
• 13:36
  turn to him. You don't like that.
• 13:38
  Every one of us likes the ability to be settled.
• 13:40
  We all would like to think to say I could turn on the news and
• 13:44
  not worry about a thing for a couple of years.
• 13:46
  You know, I know you go to back to Israel for a second.
• 13:49
  You go to there and all they want, they're not happy about
• 13:51
  the current news about the war stomping.
• 13:53
  They're not happy. They want just call us.
• 13:55
  They want it to be over. They just did all I say, it's
• 13:57
  just over, no peace. And they want it to be a finish
• 14:00
  game. I don't know.
• 14:01
  I'm not one to say, but I don't know if it'll ever be finish,
• 14:05
  finish, finish. The nature of world and nature
• 14:08
  of the climate over there, whatever it may be.
• 14:10
  I shouldn't need this probably in the world for the people.
• 14:14
  Right, right. True.
• 14:16
  So it's never going to be settled.
• 14:17
  But all they're dying for over there is they they don't want to
• 14:20
  go to sleep every night and worry about the possibility of a
• 14:23
  siren or the possibility of a war or maybe their kids going to
• 14:26
  war. They can't handle it.
• 14:27
  And they're right for thinking that way.
• 14:29
  We see all the generals who fought in the army there or what
• 14:31
  peace next afterwards? Yeah, after they fought in the
• 14:34
  wars and just totally a bareface.
• 14:36
  Why? Because they can't handle this
• 14:38
  idea of this, this vulnerability.
• 14:40
  It's it's very uncomfortable to live in, but ultimately,
• 14:44
  according to this team, ultimately it's really the best
• 14:47
  for the world for us to be in a vulnerable state but have a
• 14:53
  means how to deal with it. If you can't deal with it,
• 14:56
  vulnerable stinks, but if you can deal with it and it makes
• 14:59
  you stronger, it makes you better, and it makes you more
• 15:02
  aware of God's world, at the end of the day, he runs it anyway.
• 15:05
  And at the end of the day, he protects everyone anyway.
• 15:08
  And if you go to, like I said in Israel, every other word is they
• 15:10
  want to call us and they also say, and they seem at the same
• 15:13
  line. They say both at the same time.
• 15:15
  It's miracles, but let's get it over with, all right?
• 15:18
  Both things are the reality, but that state of being in between,
• 15:22
  which is a state they're in and the state we're in our own form,
• 15:25
  all right? We may not have the, you know,
• 15:27
  the fear of rockets every day, but we do have everything that's
• 15:30
  unsettled. You can hear people talk about
• 15:32
  the mayor and talk about this and talk about that, talk about
• 15:34
  finances, you name it. Tell me a time that people would
• 15:37
  stop and said everything's good. I remember a time.
• 15:40
  And that's OK because that's a vulnerable world and therefore a
• 15:45
  world where you open up more room for Hashem.
• 15:48
  And if you do so, then automatically you straightened
• 15:52
  out. And we really all need that.
• 15:53
  We need that guidance and we need that mindset.
• 15:56
  Who am I should see rockers, but who Hashem told the king the
• 16:01
  king has to have a several trial with him to read at all times to
• 16:03
  bring in to forcefully. Why does the king need to remind
• 16:07
  himself, ya Chaman? Because the king is that guy
• 16:09
  who's in a settled state, right? The king is that person has
• 16:12
  complete control. There's nothing to worry about.
• 16:14
  You're a king, everyone is under you and Hashem says to that
• 16:17
  person you need a several trial to remind yourself of the
• 16:20
  existence of God. We're all not kings, we're all
• 16:23
  vulnerable. We have life itself.
• 16:27
  As our reminder, Halimah dashi E na irad no method elementa kriya
• 16:32
  hablati nifsekit Iraq comes from reading Hashem Surah, or reading
• 16:37
  Hashem's world, right, But did that right.
• 16:42
  That's it. Person has to constantly learn
• 16:45
  and develop and realize just how much Hashem exists.
• 16:49
  And our job is to always look at life and say is God here?
• 16:55
  He's running the show. I wish I could be settled.
• 16:58
  Sorry, he never settled and it's OK.
• 17:01
  In the meantime, while you're not settled, you made money, Why
• 17:06
  you're not settled? You raised a family, why you're
• 17:08
  not settled? You had health, you had years,
• 17:10
  you had growth, you had development, you had impact.
• 17:13
  So in this on one leg, life has lived on one leg, it's perfectly
• 17:17
  fine. I know I live on one leg and I
• 17:19
  wish I could put my plant, my 2 feet on the ground.
• 17:22
  There's so many distractions down there.
• 17:24
  There's so many vote distractions and also feelings
• 17:27
  of this feeling, right, which is that I'm not OK with this.
• 17:31
  I just want the weather to be good, everyone to be healthy, to
• 17:34
  make enough money. And how many people say I don't
• 17:37
  need to be a millionaire, I don't need to be a billionaire.
• 17:39
  I don't need to be very wealthy. I just need to be comfortable.
• 17:43
  You know what comfortable means? You want 2 feet planted on the
• 17:46
  ground and the reality is piece of art.
• 17:49
  That's it. And you know what?
• 17:50
  You don't get it from the world. You get it from forcing it into
• 17:54
  your life. And how do you get there when
• 17:56
  you realize I could joke what I want about.
• 17:58
  I can sketch myself what I want about having 2 feet on the
• 18:01
  ground. You don't have two feet on the
• 18:02
  ground. You don't.
• 18:03
  There's no way to have it. You know how many things have to
• 18:05
  go right in life for you to feel settled?
• 18:08
  It's not going to happen. Person with little kids.
• 18:12
  I'll give you a reality OK I landed on Friday my kids are
• 18:18
  Good Friday afternoon my wife noticed from my sorry five of my
• 18:24
  wife noticed from my daughter. OK is scary thing.
• 18:27
  My little baby daughter when she left in America she was fine.
• 18:29
  I'm great after we landed now we're watching her so now she's
• 18:33
  good right with the babysitter was scared.
• 18:35
  We're watching again she's good. My wife noticed that she had
• 18:39
  swallowed and earring and earring had the pen in it.
• 18:45
  OK, Hashem is more that came out with a Hashem.
• 18:47
  Oh good you can you're never ever ever settled.
• 18:52
  You never. And you know at the one hand
• 18:54
  that make people OCDAVOCD it's not good.
• 18:58
  You know, it makes people crazier.
• 18:59
  Or less opposite, you don't have Hashem at all.
• 19:02
  Right, exactly, OCD controlling everything or it makes people
• 19:06
  realize shomer paterium Hashem. Hashem protects everyone, Hashem
• 19:10
  protects the world. And to thank Hashem for the
• 19:13
  miracle which we did, you have to make a hoor da that you need
• 19:16
  to do. But at the same time you stop
• 19:19
  and say I'm vulnerable, but I'm not.
• 19:22
  I have one leg on the ground and the other leg being held up by
• 19:26
  God. So I'm perfectly fine.
• 19:28
  But that allows you to see how you're and everything.
• 19:30
  Whereas the other way settled, settled, settled, less God, less
• 19:34
  God. Let's go.
• 19:35
  And then less growth through this?