Latest / The Breakfast Club / Brandy Explains Loving Ray J From A Distance: When Family Becomes Too Much

Transcript

Brandy Explains Loving Ray J From A Distance: When Family Becomes Too Much · The Breakfast Club

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, y'all.
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  Speaker 1: You know, if you don't lie about that, right, Lauren
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: came in.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Laura LaRosa and this is
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  Speaker 2: the latest with Laura l Rosa. This is your Deli
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  Speaker 2: dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news and all
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  Speaker 2: of the conversations that shake the room. Baby now checking
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: in behind the scenes of the Grind, which for the
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: low riders here on the podcasts that have been listening
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: you guys know, means this is, you know, where we
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: just find out how we're doing. Like it's the time
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: where you stop and say, hey, how are you feeling?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: For everybody that is new here, that was the definition
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: and I actually want you to take some time to
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: do it as I do it as well. So we
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: have branding on the podcast with us today.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me back again.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, so checking it behind the scenes of the Grind.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I right now am just feeling very motivated. I go
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: through periods of times sometimes we're like I'm just like
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: head down doing the work so much that like my
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't even say it's my motivation, but like just
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: my like you know how, like there's that like spark
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: when you're really excited about something. Sometimes it becomes under you. Yes, yes,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: that's it, like the fire is lit. Sometimes I feel
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: like my fire isn't as lit as other times, and
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: it changes the way I enjoy what I'm doing.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: And I.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: But it's like I don't know how to control that.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's life and you can't control it.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: But I don't.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: I'm such a like passion person that I hate that.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I don't think you need to control it because the
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: lows will, you know, make the highest feel that much better.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: So I don't think you need to be on ten
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: all the time. But that was before that was a crack.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: You play the bag.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: It's just because I'm so passionate about the things that
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I do, and I love the things I do, Like
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I love talking to the people, the low riders here,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: you know, the latest one of the roads of the podcast.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: I loved just talking through everything celebrity news and I
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: don't even think it's just being in people's business. I
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: think I just love conversation, Like I'm a people's person.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I love to talk, I love to take night conversation,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I love to engage. So I'm always excited about anything
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: creative that does that, whether it's the reporting, it's fashion
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: like you know, So for me, whenever I don't feel
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: that fire under me, like sometimes I'm like sitting and
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I'm wondering, like, all right, is this burnout? Am I
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: doing something too much? Like too much of something? Am
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: I not resting the way I should be? Like I
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: just start going down this rabbit hole of like why
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: do I feel that way? And then I just recently realized,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: like no, girl, as an adult, sometimes that's just life,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: where like the fire isn't lit as much sometimes as
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: it is others. So so yeah, I've had to I've
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: had to teach myself that, you know, it's just adulting.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Now you got to deal with your real life when
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: you're dealing with your dreams as well too. It's not
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: all just like optimism and you know, butterflies and lies.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Great advice, great advice, La, No I'm taking I'm not,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I'll be said sarcastic when I say things, and I
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: know that about myself and you wople say that, but
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I'll be serious. That's that's like great to hear somebody that's,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: you know, a few years younger than you.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, you can, you can be passionate,
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: you could love what you do, but like, you're not
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: gonna love every day. It's what I've had to tell myself,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: so so yes, but there is always another day. And
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: we are about to get on the line for on
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: the line with Laura La Rosa and and talk about
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: you know, something that I feel like also has a
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: lot of its ebbs and flows, and that's relationships with family, period.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Like that's all you got to say about that. Because
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Brandy is out and she's promoting her new book, Phase Is.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: It's a memoir. It is currently out right now, and
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: in promoting that, she's been having conversations about her relationship
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: with her brother ray J and where they stand. And
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: she was talking to Parade magazine. She covered their magazine
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: and they asked her how is ray J doing?
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: And this is what she had to say. Right now,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: she's choosing to just take a.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Distance from ray J because a lot of the things
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: that he's doing right now, she just doesn't support. Look
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: y'all know we love ray J. Here at the Latest
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: with Laura Rosa. If you haven't checked out some of
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: me and ray J's exclusive interviews, please check them out.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: You will see exactly what Brandy is talking about. All
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: the stuff that Brandy is saying that ray J has
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: been doing, you will see exactly what she was talking about.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Brandy. Maybe I was a catalyst for the BS,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: but I think the reason why.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: I have so much empathy and so much patience for
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: rey Jay is because I have a younger brother who
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: doesn't always get it right, and I know what it's
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: like to be the sister in that situation who, like
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: everybody thinks, gets it right all the time and kind
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: of what the opposing party goes through, Like.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: You're almost like my little brother.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: For the first time we had a conversation and he
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: was telling me, like I remember this, this sticks with
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: me to this day. He said, you don't know, you
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: don't know what it's like to be in your shadow,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: because you're not the shadow, you're the like. And I
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: was like, damn, Like, as a person that loves my sibling, Like,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I never want him to feel like he's in like
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: a no way out situation because there's been this shadow
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: cast over him, but he does it. There's there's no choice,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: like the shadow is naturally there because he's my brother
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: and he's younger than me. So I think sometimes, you know,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: being that sibling makes you do things and explore things
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: and just kind of go like the very irrational way.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: So I can understand Brandy feeling like, you know the distance.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: I've been through that as well too, but you did.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: The love is so unconditional and a brother sister relationship.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: It was just with family sometimes, but there are people
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: who create that distance and don't ever go back. I
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: don't know if you've had similar situations.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: I know your family.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Is very I think we did a holiday story holiday episode, right, Yeah,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm about to tell the same exactly
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: that same aunt that starts Yeah, I did not like that,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: like she done well. For those of you who don't
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: who had.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: Seen it, wait, tell them. You gotta tell them you
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: African first. You gotta tell them first.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think it does because every time I listen
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: to you or sim talk about your families and your backgrounds.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I feel like some of the strictness and like the
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: like the no games, don't play. It's so different than
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: my household was because of your background.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And I feel like sometimes it comes out as like
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: like a lack of empathy.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: And I like, you can be like that.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I tell him that all the time. I'm like,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: damn Brandon like but.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But so, yeah, this I hadn't seen in years.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Wait, Africans, don't be mad at me for saying that it's.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Too late now all my ass. The African's gonna be
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: all your ass. Who makes it out alive? So yeah,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't see her in years. And then like I
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: didn't know I was gonna see her this day out
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: a function or whatever. It's like, oh, I'm not gonna
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: say your name. I go for a hug and she's like, no,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not hugging you because last time I see you
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: ignore me. And she's talking about when I was seven
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: years old and I was playing with toys and I
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: was and I ignored her. So she held that beef.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: So showing fool with you. So you the ray J.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: That's that's that's a tough comparison because I was just
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: playing with toys and rajie. Yeah, but yeah, I guess
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I am, and I guess I had another cousin who
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, these are not like serious situation because this
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: doesn't really happen to me. So maybe this story could
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: be a reached by a cousin who like every time
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: she would come back to me, like you come back
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: to me about how somebody said something bad about me.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't like those always.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: And then she would also like snitch on me too. Yeah,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: she always had a story like such and such said
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: this about you. Why everybody talking about me to you?
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, I don't like those people.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: If you always call me telling me what someone said
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: about me, I don't like those people because I feel
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: like number one, even if it's just something that you're
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: seeing on the internet, why is that all that you're
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: ever seeing when it comes to me, you know what
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, or all you're ever calling and I try
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: not to be that person.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Is different because they're gonna bring back Yeah. No, my friends.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: No, my friends like my friends for real real, they
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: don't even it got to be like it could be
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: the craziest thing.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: They don't.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: They don't even bring it to me Because I feel
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: like they think I'm I'm going through it in real time.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: But also because they.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Be calling you like ball headed on Twitter and stuff
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: like that, and it gets back to you. So I
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: know that's tough, but what would you say? No, that
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: was an example you what you follow? No, I saw
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: one yesterday. That's why I didn't send it.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: I just saw it, all right, Brandon just called me
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: ball head.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I did not the person.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: We'll put the tweet on the screen.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Read the tweet, Brandon, go ahead, you want people you
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: didn't have, but know that I'm ball head, so like
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: they don't see me in.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: My fly ass shortcut.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, shout out to the big homie on Twitter. Somebody said,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: we go to the original tweet.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: So weeds a segment at the Breakfast Club about Benda
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Don saying that Drake changed all his music because of him,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: and we we were talking about this. Even if Benda
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Done and Drake that didn't happen with them, we were
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: talking about it because Iceman still hasn't come out and
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Benda Don be with.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Drake all the time.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So and somebody, so somebody tweeted they seen Benda Don
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: say on the stream, say that on the stream, and
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: they're using it for news, and the Don replied, whole time,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I was just yapping brain switching shut up because of me,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And then Big the Big always said, that's Laura Ballhead
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: asked anything to try to start up some drake.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: They be calling me a paid throat and everything. Yeah,
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: like I only voice certain opinions for certain sides.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: You know what I do though, different things, different places'll
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: be specific. I haven't heard that term before.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, not that you know what
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: I don't care about.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I mean what I do is once I see my
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: mentions going crazy, it's certain people we talk about. I
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: know my mentions going go crazy when we do it,
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I'll tweet like my podcast episodes.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Oh you know what I mean.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Like, I'm like shit, since y'all hear with my ballhead ass,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: go look at something, Do they affect it?
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Because I feel like you are pretty good with at
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: least jokes.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Since then, I can't, like with the random people and
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: some of the stuff they be saying. I just be
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: having to get off because it don't affect me. But
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I be a lot of times like I'm like a
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: progressed crash out. Okay, like in real life, like I've
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: grown a lot and I have a lot to lose,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: and I've and I've been growing a lot for some years,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: but I'm not all the way reformed yet, So I
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: don't even look at that stuff because I'm like, I
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: will get on here and like be going back and
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: forth and I'm never going to see these people, you
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: know what I mean. And then in real life I
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: received so much love, Like I've been through so much
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: in real life that this phase of it, I don't
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: even be tripping. I'll be like, all right, I saw
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: what you said. If I ever see you in real life,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I'll come up to you so we can have a
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: real conversation.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: We'll see how you hold it down.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Then yeah, I don't comment on people that feel the
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: way about the internet slanting because I don't know what
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: that feels like.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: So it's crazy, actually, you know it's crazy.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And we're doing this in celebration this episode and celebration
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: of the one year of the Latest with Laurna Rosa
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: over nine million downloads on the audio side. Later in
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: the launch of our video on Laura Rosa TV on YouTube. Right,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: But when I first dropped the video for the podcast,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: it was so bad because you were like figuring it
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: out and I was yo.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: I used to be so burnt out. I was saying
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: yes to every job that would.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Come out with when I first got back on Breakfast Club,
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: because I was just trying to run it up.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: And I remember people were going on like.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: These whole review campaigns about how bad I was and
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: how bad I was as a personality, and I was tight,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: but I was more mad because I'm like, I'm never
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: going to see these people and I want to see.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: No.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: No.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: But that's another thing. It's never somebody that matters.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: The people that matter, even if you have a bad day,
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: they see the talent, they see the they see the work,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: they see the consistency.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: It's always the people who don't matter.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Like there is literally a section on YouTube for the
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: old mad ladies who don't matter, Like that's what they'd
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: be on there doing inter rage Bay people. So but yeah,
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: so let's get into it right, Speaking of things that matter,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: we're on the line with Laura La Rosa talking about
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: distancing yourself from family members, and we have a caller
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: on the line today.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, Sophie, where you're from New Jersey? Okay, Jersey?
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: So you heard the clip with Brandy and you know
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: she's talking about distancing herself from Reggie.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Have you ever heard this? This is something remember, oh, one hundred.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: Percent for sure. I feel like it's pretty normal. I
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: feel like there's more people who have to distance themselves
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: from family versus not, especially now, because I think either
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: you might not share the same opinions as your family,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: or you know, they might be stricter and you might
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: want to grow up and kind of spread your wings
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: and do this, that and the other thing. And I
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: think for me, I know some members of my family
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: had made have made me feel more less than than
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: somebody who can do this or can do that. And
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: it's not that we hate our family. And I think
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: that's what people always say, like you must hate your family,
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: Like why do you hate your family when your father's
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: done this, or your mother's done this, or your aunts
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: and uncles do this. It's not that I don't like
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: my family or hate my family. It's just I need
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: something different right now in my life. And I'm growing
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: and I'm changing, and I don't think where I'm at,
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: I need like somebody on my shoulder constantly telling me
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: what to do or how to be and things like that.
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: And I also think again, like you can have a
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: great relationship, let's say with your mom or your dad,
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: but it's not always necessarily healthy. And I feel like,
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: for me, you know, not naming any names, I was
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: in a very like unhealthy relationship I think with you know,
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: my biological father, and I don't really talk to him,
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: and it's really hard to communicate with him, just because
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: like as a kid, there were moments I was put
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: in situations that I shouldn't have been put in. And
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: now that I'm older, I see it a little differently,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: and I'd like to keep my distance though, even though
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: I see it differently. So but I think it's best
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: for me to kind of push that out of sight,
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: out of mind, because I want to continue being my
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: most ambitious, good good to myself, but good to other people.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: Person I think I just need myself for that, and
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: I'm hyper independent, I really think.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: So, you know, it's crazy I was thinking about because
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: at first I was gonna ask you. You said, you know,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: sometimes it's like you need to feel greater than, not
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: less than, And I was gonna get into that with
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: you at first, and then you brought.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: Up your dad and I was thinking, I'm like, I
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: mean my situation.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: My dad's the same way, and he actually probably listening
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: to this podcast because he watches and listens to everything
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: that I do.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: So I mean, if you're listening to hey, Dad.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But me and my dad are like when we have
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: a we have it's weird because when we do talk,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: we have such a great relationship because we are very
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: like one and the same, our temperament, our anger, like everything.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: But it's when things fly off the handle. I feel
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: like he takes it further than a father dealing with
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: a daughter should take it. And I've learned to do
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: the same thing, like I give him distance, and now
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: this last go around, I've just been like, you know,
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I'm good.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Like he was talking on YouTube video, Yeah he was.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: The podcast listeners on the viewer side saw that. I
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: actually screenshot at the comment. But he does little things
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: like that, and I think what I've had to learn
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: is that because you mentioned Sophie when you were younger,
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: you know, with your dad, mine wasn't even about when
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I was younger because my dad came in my life
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: when I well back into my life when I was
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: like thirteen, So at that point you know, thirteen years
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: old growing up in a neighborhood I grew up in.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like sixteen seventeen for real, so I didn't consider
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: myself younger, but I do think that, you know, I've
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: had to realize that there are certain things that like,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I watch other men with their daughters and it doesn't
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: matter how old their daughter is, that's still their baby girl.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And I feel like with my dad, there are certain
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: things that like, he just disregards as I'm supposed to
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: be your baby girl. There's certain things you should never
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: say to me. You should never want me to accept
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: that from a man, So you, as my father, shouldn't
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: do it either. So I've had to put boundaries on
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: the way that I interact with him, Like every now
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: and then, I used to like call happy Birthday, maybe
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Father's Day, whatever, But recently he can't, Like I blocked
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: him on my phone. He can reach out on like
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: social media and stuff, but I just don't. And it's
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: not because I don't love him. I have no hate
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: in my heart towards my dad, but I just don't
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: feel like the I don't want to have to cuss
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: him out because he's my dad and I don't want
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: to have to do that, and I don't want to
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: hear that from some My dad, You're supposed to be
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: my father, you know what I mean.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: So I feel your boundary like strong.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And I understand what you mean when you say you
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: don't hate them, because my grandmother talks to me about
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: my dad, like she always says, She'll be like, oh,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: call your dad, like whenever I'm heading to the south
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: for an event or something. Mind you, I've called him
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: before when I was heading there and didn't see him.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: But my grandmother always tries to remind me, like you
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: get one parent, one set of parents, period. And I'm like,
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I understand that, but at the same time, I have
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: to protect my like my like mental like it'd be
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: a lot going on.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I don't have time for something.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Sending him off the handle because I'm grown enough to
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: tell him the truth now.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, And I mean we relate to each other.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: And I think it's really unique in the sense of,
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm twenty.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: Three, you're thirty two, way older. Now it's like I'm
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: thirty four. You said way old Brandon.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Went let the color finish, right, So.
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: But it's interesting, like where you're at in your life,
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: and I'm gonna say, like, that's where I will be.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: I think when it comes to this relationship with my father,
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: because right now for me, it's almost like I can't
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: even talk to him or dam nothing like maybe like
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: once or twice, like in a year, like I'll send
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: like a text or he'll set a text or whatever.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: And I think it also, like, what's the relationship I
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: have with my sister. My sister is my best friend,
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: but we went to two field two different, completely completely
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: different fields. I'm in film, she's a psychologist. She's at
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: grad school. Yeah, you know, she does all these like
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: crazy things. She's always been super smart. And I think
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: my whole life, I felt that when I was a kid,
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: and I think a little bit now, I feel that
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: my sister was always kind of, you the good kid,
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: the older sister that knew when she was up to
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: I was the one that was like flying off the walls.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: And I kind of got this feeling sometimes that like
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: my dad had more of a relationship with my sister
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: because she was the one that always was in the middle.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: She always had to solve things. Yeah, so it was like, okay, well,
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: if I have a great relationship, you know with your sister?
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: Do you really matter? Almost? That's how it felt for me,
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: and I think sometimes I have to distance myself from
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: my sister because I kind of even though we're that's
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: my best friend. I tell her everything you feel the
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: way I feel a way because I feel like a
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: little bit of the black sheep, especially in a family
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: where like everybody went to business and finance and this
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: and then. So I have to remove myself and remember
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: that these people might not always know what I'm doing
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: and we're up to. But that makes me happier than
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: going to a family event and somebody going what do
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: you do again? Even though we've talked about it multiple movies, right,
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: So those things make me want to be in my
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: own world.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: You're you're the youngest of your siblings. Is it just
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: you and your sister?
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: So it's me and my sister. I have two older stepsisters.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, got you, But she's like, you're yeah, and that's
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: that's that's crazy. I think this is the first year
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: for me as an older sister where I even begin
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: to take my brother's feeling like that into account. I
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: always used to be like, yo, suck it up. Like
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: you should be lucky you have older an older sister
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: who is able and willing to help you, and older
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: people in your life. And now I notice certain things
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: or the way people ask him questions about what he
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: does or doesn't do, and blah blah.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Blah, and I'm like, I don't know.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: I just feel like even if a person doesn't have
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: it all the way together, there are things that it
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: just doesn't help. Like everybody had to figure it out.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I was just lucky enough that during my season of
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: having to figure it out, I was able to mask
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: it a little bit more.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: I didn't have it. I don't have kids.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: I was living all the way in LA and it
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: looked good, like, oh my god, you're in La. But
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: like Carr was being repossessed, I was struggling. I was
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: living on somebody's couch for a long time. But people
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: just thought it was so glamorous because you're trying to
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: figure it out. It's you know, it was, and I
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: try to, you know, tell people the distance sometimes that
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: like you might feel from a person when they choose
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: to choose themselves, it's not even about you, Like sometimes
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: that person is locking in and kind of surrounding themselves
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: with something that like blocks out the noise to the
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: point where they can focus on where they need to
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: get to. Cause it's tough when you're in that phase
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: of like figuring it out. I look at ray J,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: and again, I have patience for him. Sometimes some of
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: the stuff, I'm like, boy, what are you talking about?
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: But I look at him and I'm like, he's a
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: person that has figured it out in his own way,
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: and I think he's still figuring it out a bit.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: He's just so old now that people are like why,
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: But you have to look at what he comes from.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Like Brandy is literally called the vocal Bible. How do
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: you match up to that?
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: But why?
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Also why should you have to? Yeah, but that's how
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: it goes though with siblings. And I think it's also
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: tough too because it's playing out in front of the world.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Like she's Brandy, he's also a celebrity. Rey J is
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: like also a huge name celebrity wise, even though he's
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: not Brandy. So everything they do, whether together or separate,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: is so amplified because we grew up with both of
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: them in our households forever, and they both.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Run their own lanes of entertainment. So that that's tough.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: But yeah, another thing, Sophie, I'm low key the black
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: sheep too. Well. I don't think you should distance yourself
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: from your sister, you know, I mean, don't let that
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: interfere with like the love have each other. Because me
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: and my siblings are like super close. They all like
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: are really successful in their own industries as well, but
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I mean we're really close. I was on the phone
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: my sister yesterday. I'll talk to my brother all the time. Like,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think you should let that outside energy affect that.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: And like in what you were saying, like there's ways
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: you can make it look good, you know, I said,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: my mom the picture.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: Points or like that brought you Christmas?
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Who's the Oprah's protege the doctor doctor us doctor My
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: mom loves doctor, I said, like the television people and
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: stuff like that.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Ain't doctor os the one that support Trump?
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Now? She used to love me but so like but
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: like just like stuff like that, could you know, I
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: don't know if that's good advice, But I don't know
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: if you way to buy you some points or like
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know, or like to or communicate more with
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: what you're doing, like you know, what I mean. I'm
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: sure you like film pretty cool people and like, you
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, maybe they'll understand maybe there's like
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: a part of it that can relate to like or
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: maybe you could kind of show them, you know, how
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: to work cameras or like, you know what I mean.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: There's there's different ways you can like connect with them.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: So I don't think you should, you know, all the way,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: distance yourself from them, because they don't understand. They're just
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: they're they're older, they just don't they just don't get it.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: In their time, there was nobody who could just make
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: a living just I mean, unless you were a Hollywood director.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: There's nobody that could just on their own start thrown
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: business of just filming people, you know what I mean.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: So and just you know, just talking in front of
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: a camera. So they just they're just not gonna.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Get it true true, and it's not And if you
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: have to distance yourself for what you need to do,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: distance yourself, do it, bring.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Do this in yourself, make sure you win, just win,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: you know what i mean.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: And pray, yeah, and pray because you know that can
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: become lonely and that can become cold, and it can
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: be especially if you grew up differently, right, because that's
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: another thing too. Sometimes it's like growing apart from family
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: or people you're supposed to have unconditional love from. It's tough,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: but it's sometimes it's needed for growth. So you know,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: we appreciate you for calling in and sharing your story.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Our love is with you, our support is with you,
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: and thank you for being a listener. Thank you for
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: being one of the Low Riders girl. Yes, all right, y'all,
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: So this has been another episode of the Latest with Laurennosa,
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: the podcast. We are here, I mean, we will do
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: these segments more and more and more. If you guys
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: are interested in being one of the callers on the
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: podcast when we do on the line with Laurendosa, please
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: email us at info at Browngirlgrinding dot com Again if
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: you want to call in, get a topic and talk
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: to us. We'll be doing these periodically and we need
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: people to choose from info at Browngirlgrinding dot com. My Lowriders,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I tell you, guys, every single episode, y'all could be
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: anywhere with any oldbody and talking about all of these things,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: and y'all choose to be right here with me.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: I appreciate y'all, I'll catch you my next one.